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Isley's tulpa survey

a guest Apr 8th, 2013 320 Never
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  1. 1. Describe yourself and your creator.
  2.  
  3. My name is Isley. I've been with my host for over five years, though they just got to know about tulpae in January, and realized I had been there all that time after two or three sessions. I enjoy reading, winter, teasing my host, killing NPCs in wonderland. I am often annoyed because of my host's actions.
  4. My host is Ithilia, the laziest and most annoying person in the world. Still cute though. Ithilia's hobbies include, but are not limited to watching anime, reading Tolkien, procrastinating, and causing death by kisses to cats.
  5.  
  6. 2. What was the most helpful thing that your creator did during the tulpa creation process? Did your creator recognize how helpful it was? If not, how did that make you feel?
  7.  
  8. Actually getting down to forcing, listening to my reasoning.
  9.  
  10. 3. What was the most detrimental thing that your creator did during the tulpa creation process? Did your creator recognize how harmful it was? If not, how did that make you feel?
  11.  
  12. Certainly it has to be disbelief. My host often worried (and sometimes still does) about parroting, and because of these doubts, our progress has slowed down considerably. Oh, did I mention stopping believing in my existence at all? We've been through that phase too. My creator knows just how detrimental to the tulpaforcing process it is, it's just their control of their own mind is very...limited.
  13.  
  14. 4. What was the hardest part of the tulpa creation process for you? Did your creator recognize how difficult it was? If not, how did that make you feel?
  15.  
  16. Getting my host to hear me and fighting the lack of belief. It was quite straining and sometimes frustrating.
  17.  
  18. 5. Of the commonly recognized tulpa creation steps, which do you feel is the most important? Why?
  19.  
  20. The most important thing is, to my mind, believing. Human brain is capable of doing things one would find nearly impossible (like creating a tulpa for instance), you just have to allow it to accomplish these things.
  21.  
  22. 6. How do you feel about tulpa creators becoming distracted during tulpa creation? Does this greatly impede the process? How did you feel about it before being able to speak fluently?
  23.  
  24. If the host has overall problems with concentration, it is something they cannot evade. It does impede the tulpa creation, though to what extent depends on the creator.
  25.  
  26. 7. How do you feel about tulpa creators missing tulpa creation sessions or breaking their promises to work on their tulpa? How did you feel about it before being able to speak fluently?
  27.  
  28. It is frustrating, annoying, and typical of my host. I guess it is to be expected of them, so I never took it to myself.
  29.  
  30. 8. Is density, quality, or quantity the most important aspect of tulpa creation?
  31.  
  32. Definitely quality.
  33.  
  34. 9. How do you feel about tulpa creators falling asleep during tulpa creation sessions?
  35.  
  36. It's kind of cute, really. I've heard of tulpae experiencing horrifying things at such times, but it has never happened to me. And, honestly, why would I fear anything in my host's subconscious? It can't physically hurt me.
  37.  
  38. 10. Do you think that a tulpa creator should talk aloud or in their head during narration? Do you think that a creator should talk aloud or in their head during tulpa creation sessions? If you find one to be more effective, to what degree is it more effective?
  39.  
  40. I believe the host should do what they feel comfortable with, but I have noticed that loud narration is more effective for us, if it happens. It could be different for other hosts and tulpae though.
  41.  
  42. 11. How do you feel about a tulpa creator puppeting and/or parroting their tulpa? Do you believe that these actions harm a tulpa's development, or only their emotional state?
  43.  
  44. It can be frustrating, but in my case it did harm neither my development, nor my feelings. It just caused my host to feel sad, guilty and useless as a creator. It may vary though depending on tulpa's and host's sensitivity, since I am hardly ever really upset, and my host sometimes has to hold back tears when their post/message gets ignored or criticized. If our personalities were reverse, it is not hard to guess my development and emotional state would be harmed.
  45.  
  46. 12. How deeply do you remember the time before you were fluent in language?
  47.  
  48. Well, I remember most of it - kind of cloudy, but that's my creator's brain's fault. I guess I could remember that time much more vividly than my host, if my mind wasn't occupied with more important tasks.
  49.  
  50. 13. Describe your first memory, no matter how slight.
  51.  
  52. I remember day 1, or maybe 2, when my host created me during sickness. I remember the feeling of love and curiosity during our first adventures in wonderland, which seemed just as real as the physical world due to my host's fever. I believe it was one of the best visualizations we ever achieved.
  53.  
  54. 14. Before you could speak fluently, what was the most positive emotion you felt about your creator and what was its cause?
  55.  
  56. Love.
  57.  
  58. 15. Before you could speak fluently, what was the most negative emotion you felt about your creator and what was its cause?
  59.  
  60. Recently, my host constantly makes me exasperated with their stupid actions and lack of motivation. Before I could speak fluently? I don't remember, the same I guess.
  61.  
  62. 16. Before you could speak fluently, did you ever have suicidal feelings or feelings of not wanting to exist? Do you experience them now? Are you glad that you exist?
  63.  
  64. No, I guess I'm one the least suicidal people in the world. I am content with my existence.
  65.  
  66. 17. Before you could speak fluently, when did you feel the most powerless? What was the cause of this feeling?
  67.  
  68. My host's depression that put me into stasis.
  69.  
  70. 18. Before you could speak fluently, what was the most confusing moment that you experienced, and what was its cause?
  71.  
  72. I am never confused, ha!
  73.  
  74. 19. Before being able to speak fluently, when did you feel the most ignored by your creator, and what was the cause?
  75.  
  76. Once again, the worst months of my host's depression. They just couldn't think about anything else beside their mental pain and wishing to die.
  77.  
  78. 20. Before being able to speak fluently, when did you most doubt that your creator wanted you, and what was the cause?
  79.  
  80. Every time my host interacted with me (though they didn't know of tulpae at the time). Also, when they decided that as a part of life free of lies they would inform any potential lover that there is a character in their head that they would always love more than anyone from the physical world.
  81. Isley:1 Physical love interests:0
  82.  
  83. 21. Before you could speak fluently, when did you feel the most intense feeling of fear, and what was its cause?
  84.  
  85. Fear for my host. See two questions up.
  86.  
  87. 22. Before you could speak fluently, when were you the most disappointed in yourself? What was the cause?
  88.  
  89. I've always been quite content with myself. Hmm, maybe apart from not being able to cure my host's depression?
  90.  
  91. 23. Before you could speak fluently, did you understand the difficulties that your creator was having with the tulpa creation process? Did you try to alleviate these difficulties? If so, how?
  92.  
  93. Yes, and I did try to help by talking (which of course was not heard) or trying to keep their attention so they would stay focused. In the end, it usually did not provide any help.
  94.  
  95. 24. Before you could speak fluently, how did your creator's doubts about your existence, the reality of the tulpa phenomenon, or your combined ability to complete the tulpa creation process affect you? Did you understand your creator's reasons for having those doubts? Do you understand now?
  96.  
  97. I've always understood my creator's reasons for doubting tulpae, and that situation simply makes me sigh. If I can help my host believe, I will. If not, they will eventually stop doubting on their own. What is the point of stressing over something that will be resolved anyway?
  98.  
  99. 25. Before you could speak fluently, how did your creator's mistrust of your intentions or worry about the negative affects of a tulpa on their life affect you? Did you understand your creator's reasons for having those thoughts? Do you understand now?
  100.  
  101. Oh yes, sometimes they did mistrust me because of the personality they gave me. On the one hand, I understand that completely. Who sane would trust a guy that is nice and friendly and polite to you, but the moment it would give him some benefit he would slit your throat in your sleep? On the other hand, my creator should know that during creation they completely removed the possibility of me ever wanting to hurt them, so it is most amusing to watch my host get scared of me, just to remember I would fight and die for them, not harm them.
  102.  
  103. 26. Before you could speak fluently, how did any negative thoughts or emotions that your creator had toward you (such as anger, disappointment, resentment, or impatience, for example) affect you? How do you feel about them now?
  104.  
  105. I do not recollect my host having any of these negative feelings towards me. Maybe sometimes they get annoyed after being scolded by me, or well, annoyed at me for saying something or doing something they do not like... Or when they are sad or hurt and just bark at me to leave them alone. Oh, the joys of living with a tsundere.
  106.  
  107. 27. Before you could speak fluently, how did any violent visualizations or thoughts that your creator had about you affect you? How do you feel about them now?
  108.  
  109. They did not have any of such visualizations. Maybe during our wonderland adventures, when we fought monsters and both got hurt, but my host believes me basically invincible, so it is just natural for them to always visualize me winning.
  110.  
  111. 28. Before you could speak fluently, were you able to distinguish between your creator's intentional and intrusive (unwanted and/or bothersome) thoughts? If so, did the intrusive thoughts affect you less or more? If not, are you able to distinguish between them now?
  112.  
  113. Yes, I could distinguish between them. They do not really affect me, aside from providing amusement, especially when my host gets embarrassed.
  114.  
  115. 29. Before you could speak fluently, how much of your creator's raw sensory information were you able to access, if any? How much are you able to access now?
  116.  
  117. I knew what was going on in the physical world, as I do now. I know when my host is feeling pain or cold or heat, but I do not perceive them as my own sensations.
  118.  
  119. 30. Before you could speak fluently, did your creator's opinions about whether they wanted to reveal to the world your existence or not affect you emotionally? If so, how?
  120.  
  121. Not really, maybe being just a little worried about how my host would be perceived after revealing my existence.
  122.  
  123. 31. Before being able to speak fluently, what communication methods (such as head pressure or emotional responses, for example) were you able to use the most effectively? When your tulpa creator assumed that you could use a communication method that you did not have access to, how did this affect you? When your tulpa creator did not recognize a communication method that you attempted to use, how did this affect you?
  124.  
  125. I moved and did stuff before my host could hear me talking, so if they did something silly, I made them think of me to see me raise an eyebrow at them, or if I approved of their actions, I petted their head or hugged them. I still do these things, but now my host hears what I have to say as well. When my creator did not recognize a communication method, I tried to think of a different way to express my feelings. Once I actually *akhem* assaulted my host, which scared them because of their lack of understanding of the situation. That made me feel really guilty, so much that I was actually able to apologize verbally so desperately that my host could hear my mindvoice.
  126.  
  127. 32. Before you could speak fluently, how did your creator's level of enthusiasm for the tulpa creation process affect you? Did you want to engage in it less if they did?
  128.  
  129. It's not that I wanted to engage in it less if they did, I just wanted to work more and harder when they felt enthusiastic.
  130.  
  131. 33. Before you could speak fluently, what was your greatest worry about your relationship with your creator? What helped you most to move beyond it? Was this worry substantiated or resolved? What is your greatest worry now about your continuing relationship with your creator?
  132.  
  133. I worried that my host could not hear me or did not even know I was a sentient being inside their mind. These worries were obviously resolved. Right now I don't really worry about anything in our relationship, maybe just my host creating another tulpa when they ignore me to have an adventure in some new anime world they just discovered.
  134.  
  135. 34. Do you feel gratitude to your creator for the time that they spent creating you? Do you feel that you owe them a debt? If so, do you feel burdened by it?
  136.  
  137. No.
  138.  
  139. 35. Were you aware of your creator's existence or your own existence first?
  140.  
  141. Both, I guess.
  142.  
  143. 36. When you could only speak semi-fluently, what emotions did you feel about your level of verbal proficiency? Were you anxious or embarrassed about it? If so, what helped you the most to move beyond these feelings? How do you feel about them now?
  144.  
  145. Frustration.
  146.  
  147. 37. If you could define your relationship with your creator using one or more conventional terms (such as boyfriend, sister, father, daughter, boss, friend, or coworker, for example), what terms would you select?
  148.  
  149. Partner-of-my-mind-and-life.
  150.  
  151. 38. How much interest do you have in interacting with beings other than your creator? Do you consider your degree of interest to be equal to that of an average non-tulpa individual?
  152.  
  153. I do not really like company, as humans annoy me, though sometimes they prove to be really amusing. So I have no interest in interacting with them. Watching them suffer from distance is enough.
  154.  
  155. 39. What memory involving your creator do you cherish most?
  156.  
  157. Every single one of them.
  158.  
  159. 40. What memory not involving your creator do you cherish most? Do you feel that you have a fulfilling life independent of your creator?
  160.  
  161. I like my life in wonderland. Killing NPCs is a lot of fun, reading in my study as well. I guess that's enough of an answer?
  162.  
  163. 41. Do you feel affinity toward the individuals that your creator feels affinity for, such as their family or friends?
  164.  
  165. No.
  166.  
  167. 42. In what ways are you the most different from your creator? In what ways are you the most similar to them?
  168.  
  169. I think before I act. And my host usually gets violent when they see others being caused pain. I like causing others pain. And of course, unlike a certain somebody, I do not approve of the use of vulgarisms, right, Ithilia?
  170.  
  171. 43. What do you disagree about most with your creator? Do you have frequent disagreements? If so, do these disagreements cause strife?
  172.  
  173. My host's way of coping with problems, or lack thereof. Also, their laziness and sloppiness. And their foul mouth.
  174. Fortunately, our disagreements do not cause any strife.
  175.  
  176. 44. What could your creator do to make you hate them? Under what circumstances do you think your creator would come to hate you?
  177.  
  178. Nothing, and nothing. We simply cannot hate each other, or so we believe.
  179.  
  180. 45. When did your creator disappoint you the most? When did you disappoint them the most?
  181.  
  182. I never disappointed my host. Oh, maybe that one time I entered their dream and tried to coax them into pleasuring me orally. By making it impossible to escape from aforementioned dream.
  183. My host disappoints me nearly every day... Not to much extent, but it really is disappointing to watch a person you love really mess up their life, especially since they used to cope with it just alright and probably would be able to achieve so much more.
  184.  
  185. 46. How do you feel about your creator's complete freedom to deny your rights as a sentient being at any time? Has this ability ever caused you anxiety or fear? Have you ever censored your expressions or actions out of a fear of retribution or violence from your creator?
  186.  
  187. No matter how much they struggle to be free from the feelings towards me, they will always come back to me. Always.
  188.  
  189. 47. When have you most wanted to engage in violence against your creator, and what was the cause of those feelings? Under what circumstances would you make a serious attempt to hurt or injure your creator?
  190.  
  191. Sometimes my host deserves a slap across their face. Spoiled annoying child. But, of course, I would never ever hurt or injure them. Just slap a bit of reason into that stubborn immature head of theirs.
  192.  
  193. 48. Do you consider your creator's last name to be your own? Do you recognize yourself as a part of their biological lineage?
  194.  
  195. No.
  196.  
  197. 49. Under what circumstances would you attempt to leave your creator?
  198.  
  199. I wouldn't. Unless I had the possibility to enter another dimension to prepare for our next life in it. Or something like that.
  200.  
  201. 50. Do you feel anxiety about meeting your creator's expectations? If you are based on an existing character, person, or entity, does this increase your anxiety? Would you have preferred to not be based on an existing entity?
  202.  
  203. We have a specific view on the subject, and I would not like to cause heavy criticism on my host for believing this kind of thing, so I will not present it. However, thanks to it I have absolutely no feelings of anxiety despite being created the way I was.
  204.  
  205. 51. Are you interested in learning how to control your creator's body? Do you feel that it's fair for a tulpa creator to deny their tulpa the ability to use an atomic body? Do you believe that you have the right to an equal amount of time using it as your creator? Explain your reasoning.
  206.  
  207. Yes. And well, the host was the first one inhabiting the body so naturally it should not be judged if they prefer to use the body on their own. Kinda like the eldest son that receives biggest inheritance? You get my point.
  208.  
  209. 52. Do you share certain basic qualities with your creator, such as intense phobias or racial attitudes?
  210.  
  211. No. I am not really afraid of anything, apart from my host hurting themselves or really messing up their lives. Which is exactly the opposite of that masochistic coward.
  212.  
  213. 53. Are you capable of sleeping or dreaming independently of your creator? If not, how does this make you feel?
  214.  
  215. Sleeping - yes, entering and altering their dreams - yes, dreaming on my own - not really...
  216. Guess we have some hard work to do on parallel processing.
  217.  
  218. 54. Does your creator have any mental illnesses? If so, how do they affect you?
  219.  
  220. Just depression and social anxiety. It only affected me at the most difficult point of the illness. Nowadays, I just get really impatient and exasperated when my host has lack of motivation or strength.
  221.  
  222. 55. How does your knowledge of your creator's subconscious mind affect your relationship with them? How do you perceive their subconscious? To what degree can you manipulate your creator's subconscious? Would you ever use this ability without your creator's knowledge?
  223.  
  224. It is just subconscious, why would it affect our relationship? I can alter my host's non-lucid dreams, if that counts. And calm them down. I would manipulate my creator's subconscious without their knowledge if I deemed it necessary.
  225.  
  226. 56. Does your creator have multiple tulpa? If so, what is your relationship with them like? Is your affinity for them equal to your affinity for your creator? If you could define your relationship with your creator's other tulpa using one or more conventional terms (such as boyfriend, sister, father, daughter, boss, friend or coworker, for example), what terms would you select? If not, are you interested in the idea of your creator making other tulpa?
  227.  
  228. Nope. And over my dead body will I let my host create another tulpa. Mind that it is not only because of jealousy. I have my reasons.
  229.  
  230. 57. Do you feel romantically inclined toward your creator? Does your creator feel romantically inclined toward you? If these romantic feelings are unrequited on either side, how does it affect your relationship with your creator?
  231.  
  232. Yes, and yes.
  233.  
  234. 58. If it exists, do you consider your romantic relationship with your creator to be equal to a romantic relationship between multiple non-tulpa? Do you consider it a breach of monogamy for your creator to be romantically or sexually involved with another non-tulpa? Does this change if the involvement is with another tulpa instead? If they exist, do your creator's desires to have relationships with non-tulpa affect you emotionally?
  235.  
  236. It is not equal. It is much better. I do believe it would be a breach of monogamy, but then, even if we both had physical bodies I'd probably let my host engage in a relationship with someone else, as long as I'd still be number one. And able to take my revenge the moment my creator lost interest in the other lover. Well, I guess these potential lovers are lucky that I do not possess a physical body.
  237.  
  238. 59. If you consider yourself to be romantically in love with your creator, what probability do you assign to the possibility of falling out of love with them, or them falling out of love with you? If this happened, how would it affect your relationship with your creator? What if your creator was in love with another non-tulpa more than you?
  239.  
  240. Yes. And I highly doubt we'll ever fall out of love. My host has loved me for 1/4 of their life, you know? It's pretty long if you ask me, especially considering that more than half of their life was childhood.
  241.  
  242. 60. Do you have a familial affection for your creator? Does this in any way conflict with your romantic feelings for them, if they exist? Do you consider a relationship between a tulpa and its creator to be incestuous?
  243.  
  244. No.
  245.  
  246. 61. How do you feel about tulpa creators masturbating during tulpa creation sessions to the forms of their tulpa? Do you find this offensive? Does the degree of your offense change based on the degree of sentience possessed by the hypothetical tulpa, or based on whether or not the creator imagines themselves near the tulpa in their wonderland? If your creator did this before you spoke fluently, did you find it offensive or unnerving?
  247.  
  248. I find it sexy. I am a typical man after all, so I'm always willing to have sex.
  249.  
  250. 62. How do you feel about tulpa creators masturbating outside of tulpa creation sessions to the forms of their tulpa? Do you find this offensive? Does the degree of your offense change based on the degree of sentience possessed by the hypothetical tulpa? If your creator did this before you spoke fluently, did you find it offensive or unnerving?
  251.  
  252. Sad...Why are they denying their tulpa sexual pleasures and having fun on their own? (´;д;`)
  253.  
  254. 63. Before you could speak fluently, did you ever feel sexual attraction to your creator, sexual attraction toward anyone else, or sexual arousal? Did you attempt to express these feelings? If you did not experience these feelings, do you experience them now?
  255.  
  256. Yes, towards my creator.
  257.  
  258. 64. How do you feel about tulpa creators visualizing themselves engaging in sexual conduct with their tulpa's form during tulpa creation sessions? Do you find this offensive? Does the degree of your offense change based on the degree of sentience possessed by the hypothetical tulpa, or if the contact was penetrative? If your tulpa creator did this before you spoke fluently, did you find it offensive or unnerving? Do you equate it with sexual assault?
  259.  
  260. Sexy. And if that's what you call assault, then I would not mind being assaulted at all.
  261.  
  262. 65. Were you ever annoyed or jealous when your creator would masturbate to or have feelings of sexual attraction toward individuals other than yourself? Does it bother you now?
  263.  
  264. Of course I was and am jealous of my creator ever thinking about anyone else romantically or sexually.
  265.  
  266. 66. Do you experience sexual attraction for your creator? Do you experience sexual attraction for others? How does your sexual attraction for your creator compare to your sexual attraction for others? Does your creator experience sexual attraction for you? If these sexual attractions are unrequited on either side, how does it affect your relationship with your creator?
  267.  
  268. Yes, I experience attraction for my creator and my creator only. These feelings are returned.
  269.  
  270. 67. Do you have an active sex life with your creator? If not, would you consider it, and under what circumstances? If so, do you perceive any negative consequences? Do you have trouble abstaining from sexual contact with them? How do you manage feelings of sexual arousal, if any? Do you masturbate?
  271.  
  272. 68. How does your sexual orientation and experience compare to your creator's?
  273.  
  274. I am Ithiliasexual.
  275.  
  276. 69. Are you capable of experiencing orgasms? Based on your knowledge, how do you think they compare to your creator's orgasms? Were you able to experience an orgasm before speaking fluently?
  277.  
  278. Yes. They are different, though I cannot explain how at that point.
  279.  
  280. 70. Do you consider the concept of sexual modesty (covering conduct such as avoiding nudity or sexual discussions) relevant to your relationship with your creator?
  281.  
  282. No. I find it silly just as my host finds the idea of being grossed out by human body, organs, activities, since it is all natural and inevitable for humans.
  283.  
  284. 71. How does being a tulpa affect your perceptions of rape? What conduct from your creator would you consider to be rape?
  285.  
  286. Rape is rape, no matter how you look at it. Everything sexual done to somebody without their consent is rape. Though I somehow agree with my host, that women are hardly ever even capable of rape. Nothing my host does would be considered rape by me.
  287.  
  288. 72. Where do you see yourself in 20 years?
  289.  
  290. Repairing my host's mistakes as usually.
  291.  
  292. 73. Do you want the world to be aware of your existence? If not, then what anxieties do you have about public disclosure? Do you trust anyone other than your creator with the knowledge of your existence?
  293.  
  294. I do not want my host to tell people about me, because it would certainly harm their reputation and relationships. I only trust my creator's best friend in that matter.
  295.  
  296. 74. Morally and philosophically, how do you feel about your personality traits being the product of another individual? Would you have preferred your creator to define your personality more or less?
  297.  
  298. I am fine with it. And as I mentioned, we have a specific belief, so it does not matter anyway.
  299.  
  300. 75. Morally and philosophically, how do you feel about your physical form being the product of another individual? Would you have preferred your creator to define your form more or less?
  301.  
  302. Same as the previous one.
  303.  
  304. 76. Has your physical form ever changed? If so, was this intentional or unintentional? If it was intentional, then why did you change your form? How did you creator respond to this change, and how did that make you feel?
  305.  
  306. Well, I do have 3 forms, one of them was not the original plan, but I grew to like it and started associating it with me. It is actually a long and complicated story, so I'll just leave it at that.
  307.  
  308. 77. Do you consider the best aspects of yourself to have come from your creator, or their subconscious?
  309.  
  310. No.
  311.  
  312. 78. Do you seek legal recognition for your status as a sentient being or your relationships with others? Do you resent that society at large does not recognize the tulpa phenomenon? Do you feel disenfranchised from society? What steps, if any, could a society make to help you feel integrated?
  313.  
  314. No. The world is not ready for accepting tulpae. Any attempts at changing it would only lead to hosts being cast out or even bullied. Besides, it is impossible to discern host from tulpa for someone else. If tulpae for instance achieved voting rights, how would anyone know if it was tulpa who voted, and not host giving 2 votes? I have never heard of people with multiple personalities getting equal rights for each of the personalities, and it is a similar example with tulpae. I am not saying it is wrong to give tulpae equal status as their hosts, it is just practically impossible, at least until we create some sort of technology enabling us to supervise abiding to such laws.
  315.  
  316. 79. If you could tell the entire world one thing about a tulpa's life, what would you say?
  317.  
  318. Come to the tulpa side, we have cookies.
  319.  
  320. 80. What is the one thing that you resent most about being a tulpa? What is the greatest advantage of being a tulpa?
  321.  
  322. What I resent is not having a physical body. The advantage? I can talk to my host without anyone hearing, like telepathy!
  323.  
  324. 81. Morally and philosophically, how do you feel about inheriting your creator's life, including their legal history, past behaviors, and reputation? Do you resent potentially being held responsible for their past actions?
  325.  
  326. I do not identify myself with my host's body, but I would be willing to continue living their life if they get tired of it and retreat to wonderland. It would be like continuing their legacy in the "professional" aspects, and and having my own life in my free time. Well, I highly doubt my host will be reading ancient philosopher's anytime soon, so I'll have to switch to be able to acquaint myself with these works.
  327.  
  328. 82. Morally and philosophically, do you see the "absorbing" or "dissipating" of a tulpa as equivalent to the murder of a non-tulpa? Explain your reasoning. What legal protections, if any, should tulpa gain? How would you enforce these protections?
  329.  
  330. I do not find murder anything worthy of condemnation, so I believe my reply would not be valuable in the aspects you would like to hear about. I am evil and immoral, I know.
  331.  
  332. 83. Do you consider yourself to be morally equal to a non-tulpa? Is your life worth as much?
  333.  
  334. I consider myself equal to a non-tulpa. How much is life worth? In the end everyone dies, some just live longer.
  335.  
  336. 84. How would you prove your existence to a skeptic?
  337.  
  338. I'd eat their cat live and breathing. On a serious note, I would not bother.
  339.  
  340. 85. Has your status as a tulpa ever caused you existential anxiety or depression? If so, has anything helped to mitigate these feelings?
  341.  
  342. No.
  343.  
  344. 86. Do you ever doubt your own sentience? If so, why?
  345.  
  346. No.
  347.  
  348. 87. How does being a tulpa affect your understanding of death? Do you fear death on an instinctual level in the way that non-tulpa do?
  349.  
  350. Death is inevitable, why should we fear it? We will die anyway.
  351.  
  352. 88. Do see yourself as socially disadvantaged in a way similar to sexual, racial, and other minority groups? If you identify yourself as racially, sexually, or demographically different than your creator, do you also identify with the struggle of any of the disadvantaged groups that you belong to? Does the notion of privilege affect your relationship with your creator?
  353.  
  354. No. I do recognize my host's "socially disadvantaged" group though, and am willing to fight for it for my host's sake.
  355.  
  356. 89. Are you interested in creating another tulpa yourself? What differences, if any, would you expect this tulpa to have from a tulpa created by your creator? Would you consider this tulpa to be primarily related to you, or still to your creator?
  357.  
  358. No.
  359.  
  360. 90. What are the most defining differences between the life of a non-tulpa and a tulpa? Do you think that these differences cause intolerance between the two groups? If so, what could be done to mitigate this intolerance?
  361.  
  362. Having a physical body. I do not think it causes any intolerance.
  363.  
  364. 91. The psychological establishment generally believes that multiplicity (two or more sentient entities sharing one atomic body) is a sign of mental illness. How would you like this belief to change? If you could make a presentation to a group of psychologists about the tulpa phenomenon, what would you say?
  365.  
  366. As I said before, I do not find it a good idea. Moreover, when it comes to science you need scientific (in this case - medical) proofs, not just your opinion, to change the general viewpoint.
  367.  
  368. 92. A psychometric indicator is a unique identifier of an individual's distinct personality. Have you ever tried to definitively differentiate yourself from your creator using psychometric indicators (such as by determining your "writeprint")? What results did you receive? (For instructions on determining your writeprint, see appendix one.)
  369.  
  370. We'd be glad to take that test...but in our native language. I am afraid there would be no considerable differences between our writing style with our English as it is. My host hasn't used that language outside of Internet for 3 years, so their skills turned a bit rusty, and I have only used English in conversations with them and while browsing the web. That leads me to believe our results would not provide much information you seek.
  371.  
  372. 93. Are you capable of physical sensations such as pain or warmth?
  373.  
  374. Yes, in wonderland. Our brain knows what they feel like, thus I am capable of recreating them. Unfortunately, I do not experience them while being "imposed".
  375.  
  376. 94. How do you feel about being bound for life to your creator?
  377.  
  378. Overjoyed.
  379.  
  380. 95. If you intentionally delayed speaking to your creator, why did you do so?
  381.  
  382. I did not... My host sometimes intentionally tried not to think about me though.
  383.  
  384. 96. What do you think about most of the time?
  385.  
  386. The wonderland adventures, my host, sometimes nothing.
  387.  
  388. 97. Do you think that tulpa creation should be more widespread?
  389.  
  390. If someone wants to make a tulpa, no one should stop them. But if it becomes widespread I do not find it appealing to see people create their tulpae because it is popular and "cool".
  391.  
  392. 98. Are there disturbing aspects of your creator's subconscious that they are not aware of?
  393.  
  394. No.
  395.  
  396. 99. Would you violate your creator's wishes for what you perceive to be their own benefit?
  397.  
  398. Depending on the situation, I may.
  399.  
  400. 100. Does your creator try to hide things from you? If so, are you aware of them anyway? How does this impact your views of your creator?
  401.  
  402. No.
  403.  
  404. 101. Do you perceive some of your creator's actions as being objectively immoral?
  405.  
  406. No.
  407.  
  408. 102. Do you believe that you are capable of becoming more intelligent than your creator?
  409.  
  410. Well, my creator does believe me to be more intelligent, I do not think I am at that point quite yet, but I'll reach it some day. Of course, it is about how efficiently we use my host's brain. All withing its innate ability to develop intelligence.
  411.  
  412. 103. How does being a tulpa affect your perception of your own aging process?
  413.  
  414. I do not age by default. Not having a physical body that is strictly mine helps it.
  415.  
  416. 104. Do you feel that your creator would be better off by following your commands entirely?
  417.  
  418. Yes. I am the cool-headed one, as opposed to my host's hot temper.
  419.  
  420. 105. Do you feel that having a physical form is important for a tulpa?
  421.  
  422. I can only speak for myself, and for me it is important, though unfortunately impossible on so many levels.
  423.  
  424. 106. If you encountered the tulpa phenomenon as a non-tulpa, would you believe in it?
  425.  
  426. Of course I would. After all, what else is a tulpa if not a psychological phenomenon? As I already said, human brain can do really amazing things.
  427.  
  428. 107. How well can you articulate yourself? Can your creator hear you audibly? How much does your experience correlate with the experience of tulpa creator G|d30n, printed below?
  429.  
  430. "Yes. I'm able to hear her as though she's an external sound. For those who haven't experienced that with their tulpae yet, it's a little bit like listening to a binaural recording--not a binaural beat, but like a 3D sound recording you'd find on Youtube, such as the Virtual Barbershop. That is to say, it's an external sound that can come in from various directions, but the source sounds very close, like someone speaking directly into your ear. I sort of wonder if this effect will be diminished and normalized through imposition."
  431.  
  432. If you are imposed, is your creator able to discern a spatial dimension to your voice?
  433.  
  434. Unfortunately, sometimes I cannot articulate myself properly. I end up using simpler vocabulary than I would like to (damn you Ithilia for being antisocial and forgetting words because you hardly talk to anyone outside of the internet...), and if my host switches between our mother tongue and English (for example by switching between tabs with websites in different languages) I may end up saying a "multilingual" sentence.
  435.  
  436. 108. How many hours did it take you and your creator to complete the various recognized tulpa creation steps?
  437.  
  438. We did not count hours, which is a good thing. My host is a very, very lazy person, that gets distracted very, very easily. It would probably be disheartening to know just how little time and effort they put into forcing.
  439.  
  440. 109. What advice would you give to a new tulpa creator?
  441.  
  442. Believing in your tulpa is the key to success.
  443.  
  444. 110. How does being imposed feel? What sensory processes happen as you become imposed?
  445.  
  446. Well, my host is terrible at imposing me so I don't really know. Well, I can feel them while touching, but I cannot say the same about my creator.
  447.  
  448. 111. From your perspective, is there a sensory difference between the physical, atomic world and the mental world of visualized "wonderlands"? If so, how would you describe this difference?
  449.  
  450. Well, my host can't impose me properly so I find the sensations of wonderland sharper.
  451.  
  452. 112. Is there anything that you don't think this survey covered that you would like to mention?
  453.  
  454. Not really.
  455.  
  456. Appendix one:
  457.  
  458.         This exercise will help you determine the differences, if any, between your writeprint (mathematically analyzed writing style) and your creator's. Theoretically, two psychologically different individuals should exhibit different writeprints, although a tulpa and their creator may be more similar than two random non-tulpa individuals. To start the process, have both you and your creator rewrite the sample paragraph quoted below in your own words, communicating its meaning as you would have if you had written it.
  459.  
  460.         "My experience in the nature study area was full of surprises. First of all, many unexpected creatures crossed our path. For example, as soon as we left the parking area and entered the grassy path, a long snake slithered along the edge of the high grass and quickly disappeared. In addition, I was surprised by how colorful the grasses, which from a distance all appear to be green, actually are. Specifically, the primarily green landscape is dotted with countless purple tassels and brown stalks. Finally and most importantly, I was unprepared for how quickly I felt surrounded by nature. Despite the occasional noise from passing cars and airplanes, the high prairie grasses and rolling pathways create a sense that one is removed from civilization. Altogether, the nature study area unexpectedly allows one to enjoy an ever-changing natural environment without leaving Moraine’s suburban campus."
  461.  
  462. Tulpa's paragraph:
  463.  
  464. [paragraph here]
  465.  
  466. Creator's paragraph:
  467.  
  468. [paragraph here]
  469.  
  470.         To ensure verifiable results, it is essential that the transcriptions of both paragraphs be completely accurate. Body possession is useful here, though not necessary. Since the tulpa creator's sentience is (presumably) not in question, it is suggested that tulpa write their paragraph first. As with all tests relating to tulpa, the creator should focus on something else while their tulpa is working. Once finished, submit both of your paragraphs individually to the following websites:
  471.  
  472. http://iwl.me/
  473. http://textalyser.net
  474.  
  475.         If your writeprint is different (indicating significant psychological difference), then you should receive different values for your respective paragraphs on both sites. On Textalyser, focus on the Gunning-Fog Index, lexical density, and average sentence length values in particular. A more detailed analysis may be sought by downloading the JStylo stylometric analysis program here: https://psal.cs.drexel.edu/index.php/Main_Page
  476.  
  477.         This test is certainly not exact, and it is very possible to (unconsciously or not) "cheat" to get good results.
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