Dear Jenna,
	I write this letter because I want to apologize for hurting you.  I love you and I would never do that intentionally. It was shitty and I’m sorry for putting you through that. You don’t deserve that, and I’m an idiot for not realizing that sooner.

	It’s important to me that you know this was a one-time thing and I have been 100% committed to you since then, and will be for as long as we’re together. Going forward, I will communicate with you more clearly, and I plan and hope to build a better foundation than what we had before.

	I acknowledge that I’ve hurt you and scarred your mental health. Hurting you in this way was an insult to all of the things you’ve done for me, and I can never forgive myself for it. I can’t apologize enough for putting you through this. I’m aware that doing this to you has made your family and friends hate me and lose trust in me as well, and I’m ready to face that adversity and try to move forward anyway.

Back in January, we were still in the beginning of the relationship and I never thought it would turn into what it has.  I never planned on falling in love with you.  I never thought we would become the couple that we did.  I’ve never felt about anyone the way I feel about you.   Not that it’s an excuse for my actions, but I had no idea where this relationship was headed, I don’t think either of us did.

	I never wanted to hurt you, which is why I tried to hide it. A better solution would have been to not do any of it in the first place, and I’m sorry I didn’t see that at the time. Even now, lying about the Costco girl net me nothing, but I lied about it anyway and I’m not entirely sure why. You deserve better, you deserve nothing but the truth as a baseline expectation.

	I can’t expect you to forgive me, though I definitely hope for it. I truly want things to be better between us, and I want you to feel happy around me. I love putting a smile on your face and I will do that every day, if you let me.  I want to earn back the wonderful relationship we had.  Take all the time you need to decide and I will respect whatever decision you come to.  I am hoping and praying we can concentrate on the 99% good times we had and put my mistakes behind us.  I would love nothing more than to move forward with a fresh start.


Love always,

Ben
P.S.
Writing this has humbled me, and I also apologize for calling this childish.