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- This is the story of a man. The story of a man told through >Green text
- >Be Anon
- >No, wait, not him. You're ponyfag
- >Be utterly depressed. No life, no friends
- >tfw no qt 3.14 gf
- >Sometimes it feels like technicolor ponies are the only thing keeping you from an hero
- >Shit posting on /mlp/ one night
- >Feel a tap on your shoulder, turn to see what it is
- >It's Discord
- >Holyshitwtf.jpg
- >He tells you to calm down and get down from the top of your computer desk
- >"I've got a proposition for you. I can let you meet those ponies you love so much."
- "The fuck. What's the catch?"
- >"No catch. I promise I'll send you to your dream world. It's relatively free."
- >relatively
- "Discord what are you implying?"
- >"I'm not implying, I'm story telling."
- Fine, whatever. Anything's better than this hell hole. Now how do I get there?
- >"Ponyfag, fist you must look deep in your heart. You know how that quote goes, blah blah Darkness, heart of man, whatever."
- "Wait, Discord, who are you quoting?"
- >"/jp/ pls go."
- >Suddenly, blackness all around you.
- >As you awake, you find yourself in a bed.
- >"Oh, my! You're finally awake."
- >You look over and see Fluttershy beside your bed
- >holy fuck it actually worked
- "W-where am I?
- >As if you didn't already know
- >"Oh, you're in Equestria Mr...?"
- "Ponyfag"
- >"Oh, Mr. Ponyfag. I must admit, I'm excited to see another human here."
- "Wait, what? There's another human?"
- >"Oh, yes. His name is Anon. I can take you to meet him if you'd like."
- >After a bit of preparing, you and Fluttershy begin walking over to this Anon guy's house
- >From the way Fluttershy talks about him, he must be a very friendly and caring person
- >Fluttershy seems quite taken with him
- >When you get to his house Fluttershy knocks on the door
- >Anon opens the door, not even noticing you because he automatically looked down.
- >All his visitors have been ponies till now. Guess that makes sense.
- >Fluttershy smiles and says "Hello Anon, I came here to-"
- >SLAM
- >He just slammed the door in Fluttershy's face.
- >What the fuck
- >She knocks on the door again, this time mentioning that she brought another human along.
- >The door slowly opens again as Anon peeks out to see you
- >He's amazed to finally see another human after all this time
- >After a short introduction, Anon invites you in.
- >Without Fluttershy
- "What? What's wrong with you dude? Fluttershy's the nicest pony."
- >He proceeds to tell you about all the weird things Fluttershy has done to him
- >Fluttershy? Trying rape? What a bunch of bullshit.
- >Eventually the conversion steers away from the supposed rape attempts and you talk with Anon about your home towns
- >Turns out you lived pretty far apart from each other, but you still find a lot to talk about
- >Anon especially seems to enjoy the talk. He's only had ponies to talk to for a while, afterall.
- >It eventually starts getting late when Anon offers to put you up for the night.
- >That's when you notice Fluttershy's hoovering outside the window
- >The poor thing. She's been waiting for you all this time?
- >You decide to decline and say you'll stay with Fluttershy for the night
- >Anon looks flabbergasted by this statement, but doesn't really try to stop you
- >As you're walking back, you laugh and tell Fluttershy about the little stories Anon told you about her
- >She simply plays along as you both make your way over to her cottage
- >Eventually though she caves and begins to admit everything's true.
- >She begins crying, telling you how much she loves Anon.
- >You begin to console her.
- >Clearly this paranoid fool Anon has mistaken Fluttershy's nervous attempts at affection as "rape" attempts. He's probably from that site with the le funny alien.
- >Fluttershy just seems so pitiful. You can't help but tell her that you'll help her win Anon over tomorrow. Somehow, it just seems like the right thing to do.
- >Wake up the next morning. You feel itchy all over, especially along your scalp and your back
- >Probably from fucking animal hair everywhere
- >After a quick attempt at a bath you discuss plans with Fluttershy over breakfast
- >You're going to help her by luring Anon out to the park, where she'll have a trap waiting for him
- >You softly giggle with her as you work out your plans. It's going to be perfect.
- >You knock on Anon's door a couple of hours later
- >After a bit of conversation you invite him out to the park to play some football
- >He raises an eyebrow to your request, looking at the spherical ball you hold while also questioning how to play football with only two people
- >Fuck you've never been good with sports.
- >Don't blow it now.
- >Despite your bit of spaghetti spewing trying to keep your cover, Anon decides to go anyway.
- >Poor guy. He must be desperate for human companionship
- >You'll give him companionship alright
- >You arrive at the park and begin tossing the ball around, making idle conversation
- >You're really just stalling for time until Fluttershy gives the signal
- >Oh, look, she's waving her wing right over there. Perfect.
- >You suddenly toss the ball in a wide arc over Anon's head, sending it over to where Flutters is signaling from
- "Oh, oops, sorry. Must have slipped?"
- >Anon gives you a bit of a glare as he heads over to pick the ball up.
- >You wait in anticipation for Fluttershy to spring her trap.
- >Until Anon comes back with the ball completely unharmed.
- >After getting the ball back you nervously send it back overhead towards the bushes
- >Anon mouths a "wtf man?" to you as you nervously follow him to see what's wrong
- >As you follow a few steps behind him, suddenly you get a sinking feeling
- >You fall into a huge pitfall trap
- >You suddenly hear some rustling from the bushes
- >"Oh, Ponyfag! I'm so sorry! I- woah!"
- >You suddenly see Fluttershy swinging past the hole's opening with a rope attached to her leg
- >She must have panicked and ran out to help you, but set off another trap
- >You call out from the pitfall for a little help
- >Anon's already gone
- >And he took your ball.
- >After bribing the CMC to help you out of Fluttershy's traps, you spend the rest of the day going over more schemes
- >The way Fluttershy fawns over him is so cute
- >You think you're beginning to understand why she does
- >Fuck why is it so itchy.
- >It's like no matter how hard you scratch it doesn't work as well as this morning
- >It starts getting late
- >Decide to go for a brute force approach. It's now or never
- >Knock knock knockin' on Anon's door
- >He opens and immediately closes it in your face
- >You knock again and start to apologize for earlier, saying it was all Fluttershy's doing, that she tricked you
- >You try to clear your throat as you plead. Feels like something's caught in it.
- >After much explaining, Anon slowly opens the door and agrees to let you in.
- >You smile and hum a tune as you make your way to his couch
- >As you lay down you notice he's kept his eyes on you the whole time
- >For some reason he's looking kind'a freaked out
- >He eventually agrees to get some tea and takes a seat in the chair across from you
- >After some light conversation there is a long silence
- >There's a thud from outside, but you two shrug it off.
- >You're still so itchy feeling. And this shirt is so tight.
- "Man, it's so hot in here. Mind if I take my shirt off? We're both guys after all..."
- >Anon just silently nods, studying you intently.
- >Off comes the shirt. That's so much better... something about you feels so much more... free.
- >Eventually Anon speaks up
- >"So, ponyfag... have you noticed... anything strange?"
- "No, can't say that I have. Why?"
- >He just looks at you with that same freaky look
- >Is he... maybe he's being shy?
- >Another thud from upstairs catches Anon's attention
- >He starts to get up, but you try to talk him back down
- >Another thud causes him to make up his mind
- >You panic and try to think of something to distract him
- >You leap up and do the first thing that comes to mind
- >You kiss him.
- >Full force.
- >You can't help but feel something's a little off about it. Like it's the strangest kiss you've ever had.
- >It's also the only kiss you've ever had.
- >Anon forcefully pushes you away as he scrambles back toward the stairs
- >What's wrong? Is he afraid? Embarrassed that you kissed him
- >But you just couldn't help it
- >You look up to see Flutters miss him as she dives down the stairs, colliding with the kitchen cabinet
- >You slowly rise up on your four legs as you move towards them
- "What's wrong Anon? You don't want me to kiss you? I swear it's no homo, bro."
- >Anon's face has gotten even more freaked out. He backs away from you, holding a frying pan in his hand
- >You look up at him from behind pink locks and give a gentle smile
- "It's not gay... If I'm a mare..."
- >You leap at him, missing as he side steps to avoid you
- >Fluttershy finally gets back on her feet. She's giggling.
- >"Tell me, Anon. Are Twins..."
- "...Your fetish?"
- >You finish her sentence with a devious smile
- >You both make a dive for Anon
- >He pulls some sort of ninja jump shit, causing you and Fluttershy to collide head on with each other
- >You're both seeing stars at this point
- >Suddenly Anon's carrying you both by the scruff of the neck
- >Holy shit how is he even lifting two ponies in each hand like this
- >He tosses you both out the door, telling you both to stay out as he slams it shut.
- >After coming back to you senses, both you and Fluttershy sigh as you each begin walking back towards the cottage in the sunset
- >Fluttershy holds her head down as you walk
- >"Aw... another day wasted..."
- >You mimic her expression, looking down, before finally wrapping your wing around her, before speaking in your quiet voice
- "Um... don't worry, sis. I'm sure we'll do better next time."
- >After all, it's not like this is the first time this has happened.
- >Isn't having a set of twins every guy's dream?
- >Fucking Anon.
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