Quiet Skies

May 19th, 2013
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  1. This is the story of a man. The story of a man told through >Green text
  3. >Be Anon
  4. >No, wait, not him. You're ponyfag
  5. >Be utterly depressed. No life, no friends
  6. >tfw no qt 3.14 gf
  7. >Sometimes it feels like technicolor ponies are the only thing keeping you from an hero
  8. >Shit posting on /mlp/ one night
  9. >Feel a tap on your shoulder, turn to see what it is
  10. >It's Discord
  11. >Holyshitwtf.jpg
  12. >He tells you to calm down and get down from the top of your computer desk
  13. >"I've got a proposition for you. I can let you meet those ponies you love so much."
  14. "The fuck. What's the catch?"
  15. >"No catch. I promise I'll send you to your dream world. It's relatively free."
  16. >relatively
  17. "Discord what are you implying?"
  18. >"I'm not implying, I'm story telling."
  19. Fine, whatever. Anything's better than this hell hole. Now how do I get there?
  20. >"Ponyfag, fist you must look deep in your heart. You know how that quote goes, blah blah Darkness, heart of man, whatever."
  21. "Wait, Discord, who are you quoting?"
  22. >"/jp/ pls go."
  23. >Suddenly, blackness all around you.
  24. >As you awake, you find yourself in a bed.
  25. >"Oh, my! You're finally awake."
  26. >You look over and see Fluttershy beside your bed
  27. >holy fuck it actually worked
  28. "W-where am I?
  29. >As if you didn't already know
  30. >"Oh, you're in Equestria Mr...?"
  31. "Ponyfag"
  32. >"Oh, Mr. Ponyfag. I must admit, I'm excited to see another human here."
  33. "Wait, what? There's another human?"
  34. >"Oh, yes. His name is Anon. I can take you to meet him if you'd like."
  35. >After a bit of preparing, you and Fluttershy begin walking over to this Anon guy's house
  36. >From the way Fluttershy talks about him, he must be a very friendly and caring person
  37. >Fluttershy seems quite taken with him
  38. >When you get to his house Fluttershy knocks on the door
  39. >Anon opens the door, not even noticing you because he automatically looked down.
  40. >All his visitors have been ponies till now. Guess that makes sense.
  41. >Fluttershy smiles and says "Hello Anon, I came here to-"
  42. >SLAM
  43. >He just slammed the door in Fluttershy's face.
  44. >What the fuck
  45. >She knocks on the door again, this time mentioning that she brought another human along.
  46. >The door slowly opens again as Anon peeks out to see you
  47. >He's amazed to finally see another human after all this time
  48. >After a short introduction, Anon invites you in.
  49. >Without Fluttershy
  50. "What? What's wrong with you dude? Fluttershy's the nicest pony."
  51. >He proceeds to tell you about all the weird things Fluttershy has done to him
  52. >Fluttershy? Trying rape? What a bunch of bullshit.
  53. >Eventually the conversion steers away from the supposed rape attempts and you talk with Anon about your home towns
  54. >Turns out you lived pretty far apart from each other, but you still find a lot to talk about
  55. >Anon especially seems to enjoy the talk. He's only had ponies to talk to for a while, afterall.
  56. >It eventually starts getting late when Anon offers to put you up for the night.
  57. >That's when you notice Fluttershy's hoovering outside the window
  58. >The poor thing. She's been waiting for you all this time?
  59. >You decide to decline and say you'll stay with Fluttershy for the night
  60. >Anon looks flabbergasted by this statement, but doesn't really try to stop you
  61. >As you're walking back, you laugh and tell Fluttershy about the little stories Anon told you about her
  62. >She simply plays along as you both make your way over to her cottage
  63. >Eventually though she caves and begins to admit everything's true.
  64. >She begins crying, telling you how much she loves Anon.
  65. >You begin to console her.
  66. >Clearly this paranoid fool Anon has mistaken Fluttershy's nervous attempts at affection as "rape" attempts. He's probably from that site with the le funny alien.
  67. >Fluttershy just seems so pitiful. You can't help but tell her that you'll help her win Anon over tomorrow. Somehow, it just seems like the right thing to do.
  68. >Wake up the next morning. You feel itchy all over, especially along your scalp and your back
  69. >Probably from fucking animal hair everywhere
  70. >After a quick attempt at a bath you discuss plans with Fluttershy over breakfast
  71. >You're going to help her by luring Anon out to the park, where she'll have a trap waiting for him
  72. >You softly giggle with her as you work out your plans. It's going to be perfect.
  73. >You knock on Anon's door a couple of hours later
  74. >After a bit of conversation you invite him out to the park to play some football
  75. >He raises an eyebrow to your request, looking at the spherical ball you hold while also questioning how to play football with only two people
  76. >Fuck you've never been good with sports.
  77. >Don't blow it now.
  78. >Despite your bit of spaghetti spewing trying to keep your cover, Anon decides to go anyway.
  79. >Poor guy. He must be desperate for human companionship
  80. >You'll give him companionship alright
  81. >You arrive at the park and begin tossing the ball around, making idle conversation
  82. >You're really just stalling for time until Fluttershy gives the signal
  83. >Oh, look, she's waving her wing right over there. Perfect.
  84. >You suddenly toss the ball in a wide arc over Anon's head, sending it over to where Flutters is signaling from
  85. "Oh, oops, sorry. Must have slipped?"
  86. >Anon gives you a bit of a glare as he heads over to pick the ball up.
  87. >You wait in anticipation for Fluttershy to spring her trap.
  88. >Until Anon comes back with the ball completely unharmed.
  89. >After getting the ball back you nervously send it back overhead towards the bushes
  90. >Anon mouths a "wtf man?" to you as you nervously follow him to see what's wrong
  91. >As you follow a few steps behind him, suddenly you get a sinking feeling
  92. >You fall into a huge pitfall trap
  93. >You suddenly hear some rustling from the bushes
  94. >"Oh, Ponyfag! I'm so sorry! I- woah!"
  95. >You suddenly see Fluttershy swinging past the hole's opening with a rope attached to her leg
  96. >She must have panicked and ran out to help you, but set off another trap
  97. >You call out from the pitfall for a little help
  98. >Anon's already gone
  99. >And he took your ball.
  100. >After bribing the CMC to help you out of Fluttershy's traps, you spend the rest of the day going over more schemes
  101. >The way Fluttershy fawns over him is so cute
  102. >You think you're beginning to understand why she does
  103. >Fuck why is it so itchy.
  104. >It's like no matter how hard you scratch it doesn't work as well as this morning
  105. >It starts getting late
  106. >Decide to go for a brute force approach. It's now or never
  107. >Knock knock knockin' on Anon's door
  108. >He opens and immediately closes it in your face
  109. >You knock again and start to apologize for earlier, saying it was all Fluttershy's doing, that she tricked you
  110. >You try to clear your throat as you plead. Feels like something's caught in it.
  111. >After much explaining, Anon slowly opens the door and agrees to let you in.
  112. >You smile and hum a tune as you make your way to his couch
  113. >As you lay down you notice he's kept his eyes on you the whole time
  114. >For some reason he's looking kind'a freaked out
  115. >He eventually agrees to get some tea and takes a seat in the chair across from you
  116. >After some light conversation there is a long silence
  117. >There's a thud from outside, but you two shrug it off.
  118. >You're still so itchy feeling. And this shirt is so tight.
  119. "Man, it's so hot in here. Mind if I take my shirt off? We're both guys after all..."
  120. >Anon just silently nods, studying you intently.
  121. >Off comes the shirt. That's so much better... something about you feels so much more... free.
  122. >Eventually Anon speaks up
  123. >"So, ponyfag... have you noticed... anything strange?"
  124. "No, can't say that I have. Why?"
  125. >He just looks at you with that same freaky look
  126. >Is he... maybe he's being shy?
  127. >Another thud from upstairs catches Anon's attention
  128. >He starts to get up, but you try to talk him back down
  129. >Another thud causes him to make up his mind
  130. >You panic and try to think of something to distract him
  131. >You leap up and do the first thing that comes to mind
  132. >You kiss him.
  133. >Full force.
  134. >You can't help but feel something's a little off about it. Like it's the strangest kiss you've ever had.
  135. >It's also the only kiss you've ever had.
  136. >Anon forcefully pushes you away as he scrambles back toward the stairs
  137. >What's wrong? Is he afraid? Embarrassed that you kissed him
  138. >But you just couldn't help it
  139. >You look up to see Flutters miss him as she dives down the stairs, colliding with the kitchen cabinet
  140. >You slowly rise up on your four legs as you move towards them
  141. "What's wrong Anon? You don't want me to kiss you? I swear it's no homo, bro."
  142. >Anon's face has gotten even more freaked out. He backs away from you, holding a frying pan in his hand
  143. >You look up at him from behind pink locks and give a gentle smile
  144. "It's not gay... If I'm a mare..."
  145. >You leap at him, missing as he side steps to avoid you
  146. >Fluttershy finally gets back on her feet. She's giggling.
  147. >"Tell me, Anon. Are Twins..."
  148. "...Your fetish?"
  149. >You finish her sentence with a devious smile
  150. >You both make a dive for Anon
  151. >He pulls some sort of ninja jump shit, causing you and Fluttershy to collide head on with each other
  152. >You're both seeing stars at this point
  153. >Suddenly Anon's carrying you both by the scruff of the neck
  154. >Holy shit how is he even lifting two ponies in each hand like this
  155. >He tosses you both out the door, telling you both to stay out as he slams it shut.
  156. >After coming back to you senses, both you and Fluttershy sigh as you each begin walking back towards the cottage in the sunset
  157. >Fluttershy holds her head down as you walk
  158. >"Aw... another day wasted..."
  159. >You mimic her expression, looking down, before finally wrapping your wing around her, before speaking in your quiet voice
  160. "Um... don't worry, sis. I'm sure we'll do better next time."
  161. >After all, it's not like this is the first time this has happened.
  162. >Isn't having a set of twins every guy's dream?
  163. >Fucking Anon.
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