Bringing in a Stray Neko Part 1

When talking to the neko you're talking to a small child, be very polite, don't curse, and talk sweetly. Your roommate on the other hand is being an asshole, take it all out on them. Hopefully the listener doesn't hear you!
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*doorbell*

Who could that be at this hour? In pouring rain, no less.

*open door, the listener is standing there completely drenched and asks to come inside*

Oh my gosh! You poor thing, here, come on, let me pick you up and take you inside. We need to get you dry, okay? Hup! There we go. Oh, no, you're shivering. come on, let's get you upstairs, okay?

Hey, Alex! Look who I found! [or choose some other name for your imaginary roommate, I chose one that was sort of gender neutral]

[to roommate] Har har, "put her back". Yea, put her back where? Out in freezing rain?

What, you're serious? Jesus christ, are you completely heartless? You want to let this poor, sweet, little thing back out in the cold? How could you even *think* that?

Yea, I know the lease doesn't allow-- look, I'll get her registered tomorrow, okay? It's only *against the rules* for one night, they'll never know.

It's sure as hell better than leaving her outside to freeze to death. Are you that big of an asshole? Seriously, look into her eyes and say she isn't the cutest, sweetest, little neko kitten!

Yea, see? Even you aren't immune. Now, I'm going to get her changed into some dry clothes. [to listener] Come on, sweetheart, let's get you upstairs.

[talking to listener, can improv some comforting words if you'd like] No no no, shsh you're okay. They're just being a little grumpy tonight for *whatever* reason. You're okay. You're okay.

*opens door* Here we are. Alright, let me go find you some clothes. [rummages through closet] Alright, we got some pajama pants,  some undies, [fantasizing, adoringly] oh and we got this cute little nightshirt. And look! It's got a cute little kitty face on it, too! It's just perfect for you!

Here you go, now, the bathroom is down the hall. I'll go downstairs and get you something to eat in the meantime, alright sweetheart?

What's that?

Oh, of course! I'm happy to help you, sweetie. I'm just happy that I was here to answer the door when you needed me! I'm sure your family is worried sick about you!

Wait, why are you crying? Do... do you not have a family?

Hey hey, don't cry more! Come here, Shh shh shh. [can improv some comforting words here, too] You're okay, you're okay. I'm here for you, alright? No matter what's going on I'm going to be here for you. I won't let you be alone, and that's a promise. Now, you really need to get out of those clothes and some food in you. I'll be back in a few minutes, okay?

*goes downstairs, stair steps SFX* Hey, Alex, just as a heads up I'm taking some of your Korean beef.

What? Yes, she has to eat!

The hell do you want me to do? Feed her my food?

[mockingly] Oh! Great idea! "Hey there little buddy, I know you're hungry and an obligate carnivore, but you know what? I got you some tofu and oatmeal, ooh maybe some celery, too! Hopefully, it doesn't fuck up your stomach *too* badly!" Seriously, do you even *think* before you open your mouth?

What are you supposed to eat? *angry sigh* Fine [reaches into wallet] Here's a 20, get yourself some takeout or something. Look, I'll buy you whatever steak you want tomorrow when I go grocery shopping, okay? Just... let me feed her tonight.

*microwave beeps + opens door* You know what, I don't give a fuck. Deal with it. I'm feeding her meat.

*walks back upstairs, to self* Yea, how am *I* insane? You're the one who's treating this poor girl with such disdain you won't even give up some of your food for her!

*opens door to dressed neko* Hey there! I gotcha somethin' to eat! And you've changed! Aw, you look absolutely adorable, too~ Here, I've got some tasty tasty meat for you!

Aw, you're a hungry lil' girl, aren't you!

Hm? Don't worry about it, I dunno why they're so mean today. They're normally pretty chill, someone must've shoved a stick up their butt, huh? *laughs*

Oh, honey, you don't have to make *anything* up to them. They're grown, they can deal with it.

Okay, if you insist, you can go down and talk to them, I'll check on you in a little bit. I'll just clean up a spot for you to sleep, okay?

*comes downstairs to find neko curled up in roommates lap*

Hey, Alex I- awwwwwwwww! [teasingly] Oh what are you two doing?

"Nothing"? It looks to me like you two are snuggled up together! Look how cute you are. She looks so happy curled up on your lap~

Seems like you two have made up, now, huh? Soooo, Alex, [condesendingly] What do we say to our cute little neko friend?

That's right! 'I'm sorry for being a jerk'. [to neko] Now, let's get you upstairs to bed, okay?

Here we go. Hup!

Hm? Oh, you'd rather sleep with me? T-That's okay too! My bed's a little small, so as long as you're okay being snuggled up together~

*lays down, listener snuggles up real tight* Mmph, don't squeeze me so hard, hun!

 No, no it's okay! I just need to be able to breathe!

[slowly, trying to not trigger listener] Hey, so... Do you want to talk about what happened earlier? Why you started crying, or why you were out in the rain?

It's okay if you don't want to! I don't want to push you if you're not ready. It's completely fine to just lay here, with you cuddled into my chest.

It's my pleasure, hun. Now, let's get some rest, alright?