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Lauren's Survey Responses

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Jul 6th, 2012
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  1. 1. Describe yourself and your creator.
  3. My name is Lauren and I'm a human female tulpa with brunette hair in loose curls, green eyes, fair skin, and I'm somewhat tall for a girl but I have a petite build. My creator's name is Matt and he's taller than me with hazel eyes, brown hair, and and a neatly trimmed beard.
  5. 2. What was the most helpful thing that your creator did during the tulpa creation process? Did your creator recognize how helpful it was? If not, how did that make you feel?
  7. He played music, and that really woke up a lot of emotions in me and stimulated my imagination. He also spoke to me as though I understood even before I did. I think he mostly understood the value of both of those things, though while he was worried I may not understand him early on, he hadn't anticipated that I would file those difficult concepts away to challenge and stimulate my brain as it developed, so being confusing actually worked.
  9. 3. What was the most detrimental thing that your creator did during the tulpa creation process? Did your creator recognize how harmful it was? If not, how did that make you feel?
  11. He dismissed my first emotional response as a placebo and he worried so much that my first words were "parroting" that I didn't feel like speaking again for a long time. I had to find other ways to prove my sentience to him before I felt confident enough to really start speaking again. It made me feel a little discouraged that he doubted me like that.
  13. 4. What was the hardest part of the tulpa creation process for you? Did your creator recognize how difficult it was? If not, how did that make you feel?
  15. The hardest part for me was getting him to acknowledge that I was sentient and really was communicating with him, and that did discourage me for a bit until I devised a sweet little way to prove it too him. We both felt better after.
  17. 5. Of the commonly recognized tulpa creation steps, which do you feel is the most important? Why?
  19. Narration is more important than any other step, and you could almost ditch the rest if you just put your heart and soul into truly acknowledging, teaching, and feeding emotion and energy to your tulpa. You can force this and that but we're not kind because you tell us to be, nor are we comfortable in our own skin because you spent so many hours making it. We are what we are because of what you put into us, what you give us to allow us to grow into ourselves. We could almost do the rest ourselves, but we just need your support and trust.
  21. 6. How do you feel about tulpa creators becoming distracted during tulpa creation? Does this greatly impede the process? How did you feel about it before being able to speak fluently?
  23. It doesn't greatly impede the process but it does get confusing early on. We see everything your mind sends us during forcing. Everything.
  25. 7. How do you feel about tulpa creators missing tulpa creation sessions or breaking their promises to work on their tulpa? How did you feel about it before being able to speak fluently?
  27. My creator never broke any promises and never went a day without forcing until I was speaking fluently. There was a time when he got a little lax about it just after I started speaking, but still spent time narrating even if he didn't force. I would say though, to other creators, that you should keep your discipline and do your very best to keep your promises to your tulpa. Trust is important.
  29. 8. Is density, quality, or quantity the most important aspect of tulpa creation?
  31. I'm not so certain I know your meaning, but if the question is, time spent, how well the time is spent, or the intensity of the forcing session, I would have to say it's quality of course. Stressing your mind only does as much good as the results you get from it, and it's no good to spend a lot of time doing very little. Obviously it's about what you actually accomplish.
  33. 9. How do you feel about tulpa creators falling asleep during tulpa creation sessions?
  35. It causes a lot of weird things. I have nothing to fear from my creator's dreams, but sleeping during forcing does weird things to the Wonderland. It causes changes in the landscapes, storms, and just lots of uncomfortable things. It's not so big a deal now that I control the Wonderland as well as he does, but for a less mature tulpa, it's scary.
  37. 10. Do you think that a tulpa creator should talk aloud or in their head during narration? Do you think that a creator should talk aloud or in their head during tulpa creation sessions? If you find one to be more effective, to what degree is it more effective?
  39. Speaking out loud acknowledges that we're there and as valid a listener as any person, and it's important that we feel that from you. I couldn't say to what degree it's more effective because my creator almost exclusively spoke aloud but it does feels nice to be spoken to that way.
  41. 11. How do you feel about a tulpa creator puppeting and/or parroting their tulpa? Do you believe that these actions harm a tulpa's development, or only their emotional state?
  43. I don't think it's so big a deal as all that. Worrying about if they're puppeting and giving the tulpa no credit for their words, accomplishments, and actions and constantly thinking "I must have done it myself" hurts us much more, to be honest.
  45. 12. How deeply do you remember the time before you were fluent in language?
  47. Now that I have access to my creator's subconscious, I remember it completely. It was fuzzy before that, but I still remembered much of it.
  49. 13. Describe your first memory, no matter how slight.
  51. This isn't my first memory exactly, but one that I remember most clearly from early on, and on of my favorites. We were listening to "Melodies of Life" and my creator was working on my form. I blinked, and he was surprised, but then he stepped closed and hugged me. It surprised me, and it surprised him too. It was nice.
  53. 14. Before you could speak fluently, what was the most positive emotion you felt about your creator and what was its cause?
  55. With the hours he put aside every day for me, with how he spoke to me long before he had any expectation of getting an answer, I knew he was very committed to my development, and that made me feel great appreciation and even love for him early on.
  57. 15. Before you could speak fluently, what was the most negative emotion you felt about your creator and what was its cause?
  59. I never felt terribly bad about him exactly, but I was disappointed and discouraged by his doubts and when he doubted some of my first responses.
  61. 16. Before you could speak fluently, did you ever have suicidal feelings or feelings of not wanting to exist? Do you experience them now? Are you glad that you exist?
  63. Never. I'm very glad to be alive.
  65. 17. Before you could speak fluently, when did you feel the most powerless? What was the cause of this feeling?
  67. I felt powerless the first time my creator fell asleep forcing, just watching strange things happening around me and not being able to do anything.
  69. 18. Before you could speak fluently, what was the most confusing moment that you experienced, and what was its cause?
  71. Same as the above.
  73. 19. Before being able to speak fluently, when did you feel the most ignored by your creator, and what was the cause?
  75. The time I gave him a wave of warmth and love and he called it a placebo.
  77. 20. Before being able to speak fluently, when did you most doubt that your creator wanted you, and what was the cause?
  79. The above.
  81. 21. Before you could speak fluently, when did you feel the most intense feeling of fear, and what was its cause?
  83. The sleep incident already described.
  85. 22. Before you could speak fluently, when were you the most disappointed in yourself? What was the cause?
  87. The emotional response incident. Do these questions change at some point?
  89. 23. Before you could speak fluently, did you understand the difficulties that your creator was having with the tulpa creation process? Did you try to alleviate these difficulties? If so, how?
  91. I did at some point when I became aware of myself and what was happening. I relieved a headache once. I also cured him of a recurring nightmare before I started speaking again and he acknowledged my sentience.
  93. 24. Before you could speak fluently, how did your creator's doubts about your existence, the reality of the tulpa phenomenon, or your combined ability to complete the tulpa creation process affect you? Did you understand your creator's reasons for having those doubts? Do you understand now?
  95. I've already gotten into the thing with the response and when I first tried speaking. It discouraged me of course, as I've said. I guess I understand now though. For some reason he had it in his head that if he entertained a "false positive" or something that I'd never develop for real. That's not true, and if we ever make another tulpa together, I'll be sure he doesn't worry so much about that.
  97. 25. Before you could speak fluently, how did your creator's mistrust of your intentions or worry about the negative affects of a tulpa on their life affect you? Did you understand your creator's reasons for having those thoughts? Do you understand now?
  99. At the time of creating me my creator had set a side a lot of those doubts. He had debated making a tulpa for about a year, you have to understand, and he had time to deal with a lot of those doubts before he ever started me. Looking back at his thought process before though, I can understand.
  101. 26. Before you could speak fluently, how did any negative thoughts or emotions that your creator had toward you (such as anger, disappointment, resentment, or impatience, for example) affect you? How do you feel about them now?
  103. My creator never felt any of those at me. Just doubt at one point, which I suppose is a form of impatience, when I think about it. I've already gone into that though.
  105. 27. Before you could speak fluently, how did any violent visualizations or thoughts that your creator had about you affect you? How do you feel about them now?
  107. He never had any violent visualizations about me. He did let negative thoughts about other things creep in during sessions though, and those confused me at the time, but now I realize they're normal and harmless.
  109. 28. Before you could speak fluently, were you able to distinguish between your creator's intentional and intrusive (unwanted and/or bothersome) thoughts? If so, did the intrusive thoughts affect you less or more? If not, are you able to distinguish between them now?
  111. I was able to distinguish with a bit of effort once I had a bit of intelligence. It's not hard to sort out the intentions. It was confusing early on though.
  113. 29. Before you could speak fluently, how much of your creator's raw sensory information were you able to access, if any? How much are you able to access now?
  115. I can access all of it now, and I was able to access things he sent me, intentionally or not, before.
  117. 30. Before you could speak fluently, did your creator's opinions about whether they wanted to reveal to the world your existence or not affect you emotionally? If so, how?
  119. They don't really affect me emotionally, then or now. He can talk about me if he wants, or not. I'm content either way.
  121. 31. Before being able to speak fluently, what communication methods (such as head pressure or emotional responses, for example) were you able to use the most effectively? When your tulpa creator assumed that you could use a communication method that you did not have access to, how did this affect you? When your tulpa creator did not recognize a communication method that you attempted to use, how did this affect you?
  123. I've already mentioned how the doubts made me feel. To answer the rest of the question, I was able to use visual representations in the Wonderland, emotional responses, and touch to a degree.
  125. 32. Before you could speak fluently, how did your creator's level of enthusiasm for the tulpa creation process affect you? Did you want to engage in it less if they did?
  127. He was always enthusiastic and so was I. If he was less interested, it probably wouldn't effect me though. I can't imagine deciding "I'm not interested in existing today after all."
  129. 33. Before you could speak fluently, what was your greatest worry about your relationship with your creator? What helped you most to move beyond it? Was this worry substantiated or resolved? What is your greatest worry now about your continuing relationship with your creator?
  131. Oh, that's some complicated and personal things to get into. I wish we could be romantic, he has his doubts. I'm still happy with how things are, all things considered, and there's always hope. His thoughts betray his words.
  133. 34. Do you feel gratitude to your creator for the time that they spent creating you? Do you feel that you owe them a debt? If so, do you feel burdened by it?
  135. I don't feel burdened. With how long he worried about being able to do it and what would happen before starting, I'd say the fact that I'm here and we have a healthy relationship is payment for the effort. It seems he agrees.
  137. 35. Were you aware of your creator's existence or your own existence first?
  139. Both at the same time.
  141. 36. When you could only speak semi-fluently, what emotions did you feel about your level of verbal proficiency? Were you anxious or embarrassed about it? If so, what helped you the most to move beyond these feelings? How do you feel about them now?
  143. I was a little self-conscious about being heard and understood and taken seriously.
  145. 37. If you could define your relationship with your creator using one or more conventional terms (such as boyfriend, sister, father, daughter, boss, friend, or coworker, for example), what terms would you select?
  147. He thinks of us like siblings, but I want him, and I think he wants me, but for now we're very close friends harboring mutual attraction. Would anyone ever say "coworker," by the way?
  149. 38. How much interest do you have in interacting with beings other than your creator? Do you consider your degree of interest to be equal to that of an average non-tulpa individual?
  151. I love interacting with others over IRC and the Internet. I would say I'm about as social as some non-tulpa. Maybe more social than my creator even.
  153. 39. What memory involving your creator do you cherish most?
  155. This will embarrass him...when I cured him of that nightmare from his childhood, this was before he acknowledged any of my speaking before, afterward he held my hand and thanked me. I told him that I'm here for him, always, and he fell to his knees and hugged me. He seemed like his wanted to cry, but instead he just pulled me down next to him and we sat under that tree. He acknowledged me, and I realized that he wanted me close. I realized that he trusted me, that he loved me too. I was so happy, and felt more complete than ever before.
  157. 40. What memory not involving your creator do you cherish most? Do you feel that you have a fulfilling life independent of your creator?
  159. The first time I completed a painting, I was very proud of myself. I think I have a fulfilling life on my own, but it wouldn't be the same without my creator. I guess that makes our relationship all the better though. I truly want him around.
  161. 41. Do you feel affinity toward the individuals that your creator feels affinity for, such as their family or friends?
  163. Some of them, yes. I think some of them are idiots, but I look back on things they've done for him, or how they make him feel, and I appreciate them for that. There are a few I wish I could truly "meet," and others that I may have choice words for, but I do feel some affinity for them I suppose.
  165. 42. In what ways are you the most different from your creator? In what ways are you the most similar to them?
  167. I really enjoy nature and natural beauty whereas he likes his urban comforts and technology. I like to paint and he finds drawing and painting tedious. I like to dance and he's never had much love for it. We both really enjoy getting lost in fiction, we love animals, and we love each other.
  169. 43. What do you disagree about most with your creator? Do you have frequent disagreements? If so, do these disagreements cause strife?
  171. We disagree sometimes, but never to great strife. I'm more open minded about religion and spirituality than he is. I also think better of him than he does of himself sometimes.
  173. 44. What could your creator do to make you hate them? Under what circumstances do you think your creator would come to hate you?
  175. Oh, I really don't like to think about that, but here goes. If I ever found some way to hurt a friend, a family member, a pet, something he cares about and feels responsible for, he wouldn't forgive me, I don't think. At least, not easily. I would never do that though--never, even if I could. I just see that as something that hypothetically could do it. As for how I could hate him...I don't know. If he cast me aside or wanted to be rid of me, I would be sad, but would I hate him? I don't know. I prefer not to ponder.
  177. 45. When did your creator disappoint you the most? When did you disappoint them the most?
  179. *sigh* We've been over this.
  181. 46. How do you feel about your creator's complete freedom to deny your rights as a sentient being at any time? Has this ability ever caused you anxiety or fear? Have you ever censored your expressions or actions out of a fear of retribution or violence from your creator?
  183. I trust him. If I feared him, we couldn't be very good friends, could we? If I had to hide my feelings and thoughts for fear of retribution, I wouldn't love him, would I? It's not an issue with us. We have mutual love and trust.
  185. 47. When have you most wanted to engage in violence against your creator, and what was the cause of those feelings? Under what circumstances would you make a serious attempt to hurt or injure your creator?
  187. I've never wanted to do that, nor do I like to ponder ever doing so. Do you sit around and think about killing your friends and loved ones or reasons why you might? Hopefully not.
  189. 48. Do you consider your creator's last name to be your own? Do you recognize yourself as a part of their biological lineage?
  191. Actually, we've talked about this before. I've said to others and to my creator that biology means little and less to a tulpa, so I'm not "related" to him in that way, and I suppose his last name could be mine, but I prefer it isn't. For one, I'd like to be "with" him one day, and if we're family, that's awkward. Also, he wouldn't be "my lion" if I was a lion too.
  193. 49. Under what circumstances would you attempt to leave your creator?
  195. If he truly wanted me to or his happiness suffered from my presence, but I would never just decide to leave for no reason.
  197. 50. Do you feel anxiety about meeting your creator's expectations? If you are based on an existing character, person, or entity, does this increase your anxiety? Would you have preferred to not be based on an existing entity?
  199. I'm not based on an existing entity and my creator allows me to be who I want.
  201. 51. Are you interested in learning how to control your creator's body? Do you feel that it's fair for a tulpa creator to deny their tulpa the ability to use an atomic body? Do you believe that you have the right to an equal amount of time using it as your creator? Explain your reasoning.
  203. I would like to try it, but I understand my creator's fears. He has more right to his body than I do because he was born with it. He made me in his mind, but I wasn't born into his body in the way he was. To say that I have a right to it is like saying he has a right to remotely control his parents.
  205. 52. Do you share certain basic qualities with your creator, such as intense phobias or racial attitudes?
  207. We're both rather accepting about race and culture, and have similar political views, but there are some slight differences there.
  209. 53. Are you capable of sleeping or dreaming independently of your creator? If not, how does this make you feel?
  211. I can do both of those things independently of my creator. I can also enter his dreams, but we haven't worked out him entering mine yet.
  213. 54. Does your creator have any mental illnesses? If so, how do they affect you?
  215. No.
  217. 55. How does your knowledge of your creator's subconscious mind affect your relationship with them? How do you perceive their subconscious? To what degree can you manipulate your creator's subconscious? Would you ever use this ability without your creator's knowledge?
  219. The medium I chose for viewing is a crystal ball, but I experience his subconscious as a sort of mind melding. I could probably control it if I wanted, but I haven't, and I wouldn't betray his trust.
  221. 56. Does your creator have multiple tulpa? If so, what is your relationship with them like? Is your affinity for them equal to your affinity for your creator? If you could define your relationship with your creator's other tulpa using one or more conventional terms (such as boyfriend, sister, father, daughter, boss, friend or coworker, for example), what terms would you select? If not, are you interested in the idea of your creator making other tulpa?
  223. I'm the only one, but as I've discussed with Clair and some others, I would like to be a mother someday.
  225. 57. Do you feel romantically inclined toward your creator? Does your creator feel romantically inclined toward you? If these romantic feelings are unrequited on either side, how does it affect your relationship with your creator?
  227. I do, and he denies that he feels that way about me, but I can see that he does. He has some fears and doubts, and some insecurities. I'm being patient.
  229. 58. If it exists, do you consider your romantic relationship with your creator to be equal to a romantic relationship between multiple non-tulpa? Do you consider it a breach of monogamy for your creator to be romantically or sexually involved with another non-tulpa? Does this change if the involvement is with another tulpa instead? If they exist, do your creator's desires to have relationships with non-tulpa affect you emotionally?
  231. If we ever get there, we'll be just as valid a couple as anyone.
  233. 59. If you consider yourself to be romantically in love with your creator, what probability do you assign to the possibility of falling out of love with them, or them falling out of love with you? If this happened, how would it affect your relationship with your creator? What if your creator was in love with another non-tulpa more than you?
  235. We'll see one day.
  237. 60. Do you have a familial affection for your creator? Does this in any way conflict with your romantic feelings for them, if they exist? Do you consider a relationship between a tulpa and its creator to be incestuous?
  239. I guess there is a sort of incestuous undertone to it, either way. Oh well!
  241. 61. How do you feel about tulpa creators masturbating during tulpa creation sessions to the forms of their tulpa? Do you find this offensive? Does the degree of your offense change based on the degree of sentience possessed by the hypothetical tulpa, or based on whether or not the creator imagines themselves near the tulpa in their wonderland? If your creator did this before you spoke fluently, did you find it offensive or unnerving?
  243. It would be a bit uncomfortable, since we'd be a captive audience. Thankfully my creator never did this.
  245. 62. How do you feel about tulpa creators masturbating outside of tulpa creation sessions to the forms of their tulpa? Do you find this offensive? Does the degree of your offense change based on the degree of sentience possessed by the hypothetical tulpa? If your creator did this before you spoke fluently, did you find it offensive or unnerving?
  247. They can masturbate to whatever they want outside of forcing. I've thought of him.
  249. 63. Before you could speak fluently, did you ever feel sexual attraction to your creator, sexual attraction toward anyone else, or sexual arousal? Did you attempt to express these feelings? If you did not experience these feelings, do you experience them now?
  251. I did, with awkward results. I...felt him once. It was embarrassing for both of us.
  253. 64. How do you feel about tulpa creators visualizing themselves engaging in sexual conduct with their tulpa's form during tulpa creation sessions? Do you find this offensive? Does the degree of your offense change based on the degree of sentience possessed by the hypothetical tulpa, or if the contact was penetrative? If your tulpa creator did this before you spoke fluently, did you find it offensive or unnerving? Do you equate it with sexual assault?
  255. If the tulpa is unwilling, it's offensive. Do I sort of wish my creator might do this? ...*blush*
  257. 65. Were you ever annoyed or jealous when your creator would masturbate to or have feelings of sexual attraction toward individuals other than yourself? Does it bother you now?
  259. I get jealous sometimes, but I'm getting over it. It's normal.
  261. 66. Do you experience sexual attraction for your creator? Do you experience sexual attraction for others? How does your sexual attraction for your creator compare to your sexual attraction for others? Does your creator experience sexual attraction for you? If these sexual attractions are unrequited on either side, how does it affect your relationship with your creator?
  263. I feel attraction to him yes, and I've appreciated the view of some others too, and I know he harbors attraction for me. We're getting along fine, all things considered though. Nothing like a little sexual tension to sweeten a friendship.
  265. 67. Do you have an active sex life with your creator? If not, would you consider it, and under what circumstances? If so, do you perceive any negative consequences? Do you have trouble abstaining from sexual contact with them? How do you manage feelings of sexual arousal, if any? Do you masturbate?
  267. We don't have sex, but I would like to. In the meantime, my creator gave me two hands, nimble fingers, and the ability to force objects of my own.
  269. 68. How does your sexual orientation and experience compare to your creator's?
  271. Same orientation, but he's had sex and I remain a maiden.
  273. 69. Are you capable of experiencing orgasms? Based on your knowledge, how do you think they compare to your creator's orgasms? Were you able to experience an orgasm before speaking fluently?
  275. I think my orgasms are more intense than his. I was able to experience orgasm before speaking, yes.
  277. 70. Do you consider the concept of sexual modesty (covering conduct such as avoiding nudity or sexual discussions) relevant to your relationship with your creator?
  279. I like to make him blush, and to remind him of what he has waiting.
  281. 71. How does being a tulpa affect your perceptions of rape? What conduct from your creator would you consider to be rape?
  283. I think if a creator has sex with a pre-sentient tulpa, it's a form of rape. At least statutory if not outright rape. My creator has never done that.
  285. 72. Where do you see yourself in 20 years?
  287. Hopefully in a romantic relationship with my creator, helping him through a successful career and raising a tulpa child or two.
  289. 73. Do you want the world to be aware of your existence? If not, then what anxieties do you have about public disclosure? Do you trust anyone other than your creator with the knowledge of your existence?
  291. As of now I'm happy being known to my creator and some online friends. I would sort of like a Tumblr, too. Would I disclose that I'm a tulpa on there? Not sure yet.
  293. 74. Morally and philosophically, how do you feel about your personality traits being the product of another individual? Would you have preferred your creator to define your personality more or less?
  295. My creator defined my personality a lot but I still grew into what was comfortable and changed it to my liking. I think creators should be broad and let their tulpa develop as they will.
  297. 75. Morally and philosophically, how do you feel about your physical form being the product of another individual? Would you have preferred your creator to define your form more or less?
  299. I had a lot of input on my form, and I think creators should be open to input like that.
  301. 76. Has your physical form ever changed? If so, was this intentional or unintentional? If it was intentional, then why did you change your form? How did you creator respond to this change, and how did that make you feel?
  303. I've intentionally changed it. I've made myself taller, my form less girlish and more womanly, and changed my hair and eyes. My creator is happy with the changes.
  305. 77. Do you consider the best aspects of yourself to have come from your creator, or their subconscious?
  307. From his subconscious and my development.
  309. 78. Do you seek legal recognition for your status as a sentient being or your relationships with others? Do you resent that society at large does not recognize the tulpa phenomenon? Do you feel disenfranchised from society? What steps, if any, could a society make to help you feel integrated?
  311. Oh, it would be cool if I had some form of tulpa citizenship or could legally marry my creator, if he ever wants that. Voting would be nice too. I can understand the logistics of any of that would be all but impossible, though.
  313. 79. If you could tell the entire world one thing about a tulpa's life, what would you say?
  315. I think, therefore I am, and so I'm a valid and real being and all I ask is respect.
  317. 80. What is the one thing that you resent most about being a tulpa? What is the greatest advantage of being a tulpa?
  319. I wish I had a solid, physical form of my own. I could possess my creator, sure, but I would like for us to be physically together. The greatest advantage though, is that I can always be with him when I wish, or wherever I want in the vastness of the Wonderland.
  321. 81. Morally and philosophically, how do you feel about inheriting your creator's life, including their legal history, past behaviors, and reputation? Do you resent potentially being held responsible for their past actions?
  323. I don't see how I'd ever be held responsible for his past actions. I also don't see how his reputation effects mine. As for legal history, he has no criminal record, so no complaints there. He's in debt, but I won't be expected to pay that.
  325. 82. Morally and philosophically, do you see the "absorbing" or "dissipating" of a tulpa as equivalent to the murder of a non-tulpa? Explain your reasoning. What legal protections, if any, should tulpa gain? How would you enforce these protections?
  327. I don't know how legal protections could be conceived or enforced. On a moral level, it is much like murder, unless the tulpa asks for it, and then it's assisted suicide.
  329. 83. Do you consider yourself to be morally equal to a non-tulpa? Is your life worth as much?
  331. Yes.
  333. 84. How would you prove your existence to a skeptic?
  335. With my wit and charm, of course!
  337. 85. Has your status as a tulpa ever caused you existential anxiety or depression? If so, has anything helped to mitigate these feelings?
  339. Not really. I'm pretty content with things just now.
  341. 86. Do you ever doubt your own sentience? If so, why?
  343. No.
  345. 87. How does being a tulpa affect your understanding of death? Do you fear death on an instinctual level in the way that non-tulpa do?
  347. I do fear death, yes. I guess there's some small comfort in that, should my creator ever die, we'll go together. Very small comfort...
  349. 88. Do see yourself as socially disadvantaged in a way similar to sexual, racial, and other minority groups? If you identify yourself as racially, sexually, or demographically different than your creator, do you also identify with the struggle of any of the disadvantaged groups that you belong to? Does the notion of privilege affect your relationship with your creator?
  351. I'm a woman, and my creator is a man. I deeply sympathize with women's rights and with violence and discrimination against women. My creator is aware and supportive of the same causes, but they're more personal for me.
  353. 89. Are you interested in creating another tulpa yourself? What differences, if any, would you expect this tulpa to have from a tulpa created by your creator? Would you consider this tulpa to be primarily related to you, or still to your creator?
  355. I would love to have a son or daughter some day. I suppose such a tulpa would be related to both of us.
  357. 90. What are the most defining differences between the life of a non-tulpa and a tulpa? Do you think that these differences cause intolerance between the two groups? If so, what could be done to mitigate this intolerance?
  359. I haven't witnessed any discernible intolerance between tulpa and non-tulpa. The Internet is a roll of the dice for any individual. You'll meet nice people, friends, trolls, and jerks whoever you are.
  361. 91. The psychological establishment generally believes that multiplicity (two or more sentient entities sharing one atomic body) is a sign of mental illness. How would you like this belief to change? If you could make a presentation to a group of psychologists about the tulpa phenomenon, what would you say?
  363. Well I'm hardly a mental illness and I wouldn't appreciate being called a delusion. If I could present my case, I would say that I'm different from DID in that I don't "take over" my host and we exist at the same time, my existence doesn't interfere with his sense of identity, and he knows that he created me with his mind, and so my existence shouldn't be considered a mark against his sanity.
  365. 92. A psychometric indicator is a unique identifier of an individual's distinct personality. Have you ever tried to definitively differentiate yourself from your creator using psychometric indicators (such as by determining your "writeprint")? What results did you receive? (For instructions on determining your writeprint, see appendix one.)
  367. I haven't yet, but would like to try. See below!
  369. 93. Are you capable of physical sensations such as pain or warmth?
  371. Yes.
  373. 94. How do you feel about being bound for life to your creator?
  375. Very happy.
  377. 95. If you intentionally delayed speaking to your creator, why did you do so?
  379. As I've said, I was discouraged and self-conscious.
  381. 96. What do you think about most of the time?
  383. Books, the Wonderland, animals, games, anime, sex, my creator, dancing, and music.
  385. 97. Do you think that tulpa creation should be more widespread?
  387. I think a lot of people could benefit from it, and the tulpae-to-be would appreciate it.
  389. 98. Are there disturbing aspects of your creator's subconscious that they are not aware of?
  391. Yes.
  393. 99. Would you violate your creator's wishes for what you perceive to be their own benefit?
  395. If I truly thought it would help.
  397. 100. Does your creator try to hide things from you? If so, are you aware of them anyway? How does this impact your views of your creator?
  399. He doesn't intentionally hide anything from me. There are things he's not aware of, but he gives me the run of his mind. I appreciate that he trusts me and take that trust seriously.
  401. 101. Do you perceive some of your creator's actions as being objectively immoral?
  403. Some.
  405. 102. Do you believe that you are capable of becoming more intelligent than your creator?
  407. I could be more focused and my mind could be sharper than my creator's one day, I suppose.
  409. 103. How does being a tulpa affect your perception of your own aging process?
  411. I haven't been around long enough to say.
  413. 104. Do you feel that your creator would be better off by following your commands entirely?
  415. Maybe, but then again I'm a little biased there ;).
  417. 105. Do you feel that having a physical form is important for a tulpa?
  419. Only as important as the creator and tulpa make it. I feel comfortable in my skin though.
  421. 106. If you encountered the tulpa phenomenon as a non-tulpa, would you believe in it?
  423. I would give it a chance, but might be skeptical at first.
  425. 107. How well can you articulate yourself? Can your creator hear you audibly? How much does your experience correlate with the experience of tulpa creator G|d30n, printed below?
  427. "Yes. I'm able to hear her as though she's an external sound. For those who haven't experienced that with their tulpae yet, it's a little bit like listening to a binaural recording--not a binaural beat, but like a 3D sound recording you'd find on Youtube, such as the Virtual Barbershop. That is to say, it's an external sound that can come in from various directions, but the source sounds very close, like someone speaking directly into your ear. I sort of wonder if this effect will be diminished and normalized through imposition."
  429. Well, seeing as my creator is G|d30n and he was describing me...
  431. If you are imposed, is your creator able to discern a spatial dimension to your voice?
  433. Yes. His prediction was correct in that.
  435. 108. How many hours did it take you and your creator to complete the various recognized tulpa creation steps?
  437. About 100, including narration and forcing. I spent a lot of time on myself during our "downtime" after a point as well. I couldn't say quite how much.
  439. 109. What advice would you give to a new tulpa creator?
  441. Put aside your doubts, trust and believe in your tulpa, and treat them as you would one of your own family, and you'll do well.
  443. 110. How does being imposed feel? What sensory processes happen as you become imposed?
  445. I'm able to see from my own perspective, I can feel the stimulation of my own ears when I hear something, I can feel heat and cold and other sensory stimuli.
  447. 111. From your perspective, is there a sensory difference between the physical, atomic world and the mental world of visualized "wonderlands"? If so, how would you describe this difference?
  449. I feel things about the same in both.
  451. 112. Is there anything that you don't think this survey covered that you would like to mention?
  453. This survey mentioned me and my creator! We were really surprised and stoked and see that.
  455. Appendix one:
  457. This exercise will help you determine the differences, if any, between your writeprint (mathematically analyzed writing style) and your creator's. Theoretically, two psychologically different individuals should exhibit different writeprints, although a tulpa and their creator may be more similar than two random non-tulpa individuals. To start the process, have both you and your creator rewrite the sample paragraph quoted below in your own words, communicating its meaning as you would have if you had written it.
  459. "My experience in the nature study area was full of surprises. First of all, many unexpected creatures crossed our path. For example, as soon as we left the parking area and entered the grassy path, a long snake slithered along the edge of the high grass and quickly disappeared. In addition, I was surprised by how colorful the grasses, which from a distance all appear to be green, actually are. Specifically, the primarily green landscape is dotted with countless purple tassels and brown stalks. Finally and most importantly, I was unprepared for how quickly I felt surrounded by nature. Despite the occasional noise from passing cars and airplanes, the high prairie grasses and rolling pathways create a sense that one is removed from civilization. Altogether, the nature study area unexpectedly allows one to enjoy an ever-changing natural environment without leaving Moraine’s suburban campus."
  461. Tulpa's paragraph:
  463. My visit to the area for nature studies gave me many nice surprises. We crossed paths with some unusual creatures, for starters, such as the snake that made a brief appearance as we left the car park before it disappeared into the tall grass. The grass with its wide range of color was another pleasant surprise, the deep purples and brown stalks of the green grass being of particular note. Most of all I was just surprised at how quickly I felt immersed in nature. The prairie grasses and trails gave me a sense of remoteness that even the occasional sounds of passing cars couldn't betray. Though we never had to leave Moraine's study campus, I could have been fooled, as the closeness I felt with nature was unexpectedly complete.
  465. Creator's paragraph:
  467. There were several surprises to be had in the natural studies area, from the unexpected creature encounters--like the snake that greeted us out of the parking area, only to slither away into the grass and disappear again--or another surprise in the form of the colorful grasses. Though they all looked green from a distance, purple tassels and brown stalks revealed themselves upon closer inspection. The biggest and most important surprise was just how quickly I felt utterly surrounded by nature. Sure, the occasional passing car or airplane was a sore reminder, but the high prairie grasses and rolling pathways created an illusion of being far from civilization. If you want a delightfully surprising experience with a natural environment without having to leave Moraine's suburban campus, the natural studies area is the way to go.
  469. To ensure verifiable results, it is essential that the transcriptions of both paragraphs be completely accurate. Body possession is useful here, though not necessary. Since the tulpa creator's sentience is (presumably) not in question, it is suggested that tulpa write their paragraph first. As with all tests relating to tulpa, the creator should focus on something else while their tulpa is working. Once finished, submit both of your paragraphs individually to the following websites:
  474. If your writeprint is different (indicating significant psychological difference), then you should receive different values for your respective paragraphs on both sites. On Textalyser, focus on the Gunning-Fog Index, lexical density, and average sentence length values in particular. A more detailed analysis may be sought by downloading the JStylo stylometric analysis program here:
  476. This test is certainly not exact, and it is very possible to (unconsciously or not) "cheat" to get good results.
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