Didn't really have a good night and I'm feeling completely emotionally drained right now. I'm about to head to bed because to be honest it seems like the best option, but I just want to get a few things off my chest.

1) I got doxxed and I'm very upset about that. It frankly wasn't necessary and most of the people who got the information I trust, but there's a couple that I REALLY don't. My home address and phone number was given away, which I've since removed from all of my social media. Right now I'm basically sitting in my apartment wondering if someone is gonna show up in the middle of the night and I haven't been able to get a proper night's sleep in almost 2 weeks. I'm not in a situation financially where I can move and it's really the only thing that's on my mind right now. To break my lease is $1600, plus I lose my damage deposit of $800, plus the last month of rent I paid, so I'd be out literally $4000 if I moved right now when my lease is up in 4 months. Thinking about it though, this doesn't seem like a bad option.

2) There's something I need closure on that I wasn't given the option for until today when I immediately shut it down instinctively without even thinking because the time was not right. I don't really have the opportunity anymore and, despite it only being an hour and a bit ago, I really regret not taking the opportunity to just stop streaming and talk to the person. I'll honestly probably never have another opportunity.

3) I'm actually not looking forward to SGDQ at all, and frankly dreading it and thinking of spending the majority of my time in Minneapolis away from the event. Reason for that is because of a couple people that I honestly don't think I'm going to be able to control myself around, and I'll either start arguments or become violent. I'm generally pretty good at containing at these things, but frankly sometimes I slip and I'm really worried about it. There are a ton of great people that I'm looking forward to meeting and seeing again, but there's just one or two that I'm really not and I really hope it doesn't ruin the experience for me.

And with that, I'm going to bed. Good night.