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Jun 25th, 2019
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  1. Every person has parts. When going out to a restaurant, one might be torn between getting a burger and getting pasta. The phrase "of two minds" perfectly encapsulates this -- the idea that differing parts of a person could be in disagreement, or conflict. How many times do people say "well, one part of me feels this way, and another feels another way"? The idea that the self -- to the extent that the self exists at all -- is a unified whole in complete harmony, a static and constant unit, is observably fallacious.
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  3. Most people relate to their parts as if they are simply differing thoughts and feelings within themselves. A person might be conflicted about their desires and modes of expression, but at the end of the day conceptualize their parts as being entirely part of a larger, unified whole.
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  5. It's not uncommon, however, for people to relate to their parts in a different way. A lot of people I know describe events such as conversations they have with themselves, where it feels dualistic and two-sided, as if the conversation isn't just one person with one mind but a more complex dialogue.
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  7. There are many parts of "me", given whatever definition of "me" you prefer to abide by.
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  9. There are parts that want the same things, parts that want different things.
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  11. Some of these parts cluster together and form parts made of parts.
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  13. These parts are not "me" -- the parts are not the whole, but I am these parts -- a self made up of selves.
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  15. When you interact with "me", you're not interacting with a Quell (my preferred name), a Jackie (the nickname I use in professional contexts), or a Jacquline Elizabeth Meggesto that is a single self that thinks of itself as a unified whole where all the parts serve a whole.
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  17. When you interact with "me", you are interacting with a part, that considers itself a member of a system of parts.
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  19. The "me" I am now is not the "me" I might be tomorrow.
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  21. This is true from any perspective -- the self is always changing, ever fluid and flexible. The natural inclination of the soul is not order or chaos, but rather it is transient -- like ripples on the surface of water.
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  23. The self that wrote this text, the self that put pen to paper, is one of several clusters of parts that inform what it is like to be "me".
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  25. At any given time, we -- we the parts, we the selves, we the various experiences -- do not feel entirely integrated into this body, this existence, this fact of having to live in this world.
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  27. There is always detachment, there is always a sense of depersonalization.
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  29. The body is the body, and it feels like consciousness is just the fact that it is being piloted by someone, from a given definition of "someone".
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