Are there any medium rappers,
They’re always big or lil,
This man is on to something,

Sometimes it blows my mind that there are people that don’t wear glasses/contacts, like they can literally see with no aid,
Like they wake up and just be out here seeing, what a wild concept,
And people say stuff like l o l don’t you hate it when you look up in the middle of the night and see a spider on your ceiling, like beach i could have nicholas the second last czar of russia hanging from the ceiling fan and i would be none the wiser,

Hey look at my back,
Beach,
Outfit idea,

Are you afraid of wild gorillas,
Yes, no,
Wild gorillas have already killed the entire population of maine,

If your dog does a poo please put it in a litter bin,
I’m sorry rosie you’ve been a good friend,

Is your video game good,
Does it have a fishing minigame,
Yes, your game is good,
No, it’s crap,

I love frogs so much i love it when they sit with their little hands tucked under themselves and how they always look like pleased gentlemen and never malicious or angry i just really like fr,

If you ever feel useless then remember you breathe out carbon dioxide for moss,

This generation has a nice looking plane movie,
While our generation found entertainment through this manufactured horror,
We don’t fricking talk about jay jay the jet plane,

Please slow down, my cats are stupid,
Sign recently erected in my neighborhood,

There is a lizard sex satallite floating in space and russia no longer has it under control,
At this very moment, a russian satellite full of geckos, possibly, having sex, is floating around in space, and mission control has lost the ability to control it,
In a million years when we get invaded by lizard men you can blame it on russia,

Tiny frog, amazon rainforest, peru,
This frog has absolutely no business being this tiny,

Pics that make you go hmmm,

Stop going pee pee in the ocean,
This will never not be funny,

Government is necessary because people left unchecked will do evil,
The government is composed of people left unchecked,
Time to hit the government with a motherfricking vibe check,

Full fruit trees in random yards that i pass while driving are more tempting to me than any man ever will be,
This is what got us kicked out of eden, cause you hoes can’t follow rules,

Me, i need some serotonin,
Husband, stands up,
Husband, sits back down,
Husband, i didn’t remember what serotonin was until after i stood up so i was deadas about to get you some,
He’s a little confused, but he’s got the spirit,

And, are irreplaceable emoticons that emojis will never be able to touch,
Literally, and,
If you think, has the same power as, you are a blind fool,

Nothing is illegal in space,
Seriously my favorite picture of all time,

The 2 a d h d moods,
I can’t do it,
I can’t stop doing it,
The two types of a d h a time,
Now,
Not now,
The 2 a d h d memory modes,
I literally cannot recall the words that just came out of my mouth,
I can recite the opening paragraph of every single magic treehouse book,

Shout out to bottom feeders you make me sick you make me sick,
How is that a shout out,
Their goal is to revolt me and they’ve done a fantastic job,

I mean i’ve seen some crap but nothing’s made me stop and take a cautious step back from reality like learning that shrek is based on a real person,
Yeah i know, the sound you just made out loud i made it too, i am shaken, and stirred,

Remember those bots on this site that said, bro it’s weekend join me in my gay heaven, that was god and we missed the train,
We should have clicked the links when we had the chance,

Listen the new screenshot with herc, zeus, and hades looks like it could be a meme like,
Look at it,
Mom, little sibling, me, hogging the xbox,

Sobbing, my 11 year old just asked me to play my 80s playlist by saying, mama can we hear those weird songs from the nineteen hundreds,
B r b making a playlist called weird songs from the nineteen hundreds,

Once i was at a party and they asked me what my dad did for a living and said that he died when i was 12 and of course i hear the collective, aww i’m so sorry,
And then i hear some girl whisper from the back, you’re halfway to becoming batman,
And that is how i met one of my best friends,

We eating good tonight,
You already know what t f is going on,

Bionicles be like,

Why can’t plane tickets be like 10 dollars,
Why can’t concert tickets be like 10 dollars,
Why can’t everything be like 10 dollars,
I’m not paying 10 dollars for a candy bar frick you,

Suck d,
You know what she thinkin,

Is selena gomez 12,
No but the children trapped in her knees might be,

Amazon tried to test drone deliveries in starke florida, this was the last thing the drone saw,

The truth can hurt,

I really like jupiter’s design,
O m g jupiter is a kawaii papa,
Uranus is extremely surly from all the butt jokes everyone is making about him,

We’re all born with scars, from the moment we open our eyes and look at the world we are wounded, and we all share that same mark,
Bellybuttons,
If anyone wants me to explain what an anticlimax is, i’ll show them this text post,

Jefferson, adams, i’m leaving, and while i’m gone,
No parties,
This is one of the best puns i have ever seen,

Wolf puppy,
I hit the hay all day mother fricker, 24 hour sleep cycle, if you awake you a fake, it’s bed time beach,
This is going to be my senior quote,

I googled robot eat and was not disappointed,

New yorkers bite 10 times more people than sharks do worldwide,
Not shocked, just disappointed,

Oh man if i were a baby boomer i’d make a political cartoon of a kid pickin up a peach and going, look ma, someone 3 d printed the butt emoji,
And all my fellow 60 year old friends would lose their mind and high five me all over the place, i’d be like royalty,

How did you find my crying shed,

My friends lives above a punk bar and sent us this,

He peed on the floor and tried to clean it up himself,
Responsible a f, 10/10, good doggo,

Remember the time spongebob made a squidward balloon animal out of condoms,

When you’re writing a recipe on the internet,
My story begins in nineteen dickety two,

Cat physics,
I fricking thought this was a snake,
It’s like a deflated cat balloon,

Just found out that people eat fish, what the actual frick, what the frick you guys,
Actually on second thought that’s kinda hot,
Please give it a third thought,

Bees dancing to communicate,
Bee cop, breakdancing gently, i’m sorry, your wife is dead,
Bee, twerking, no, how could this have happened,
Bee cop, moonwalking, she was eaten by a bird, it was quick and painless,

Sex in the cemetery, graveyard bonk,
It wa,
Was a graveyar,
Graveyard smash,

You come over to my house to hang out, there is absolutely no decoration in my home besides these,
These all look like patrick warburton’s voice,

A perfect celestial being,
They will grant you one wish but only if it’s in rhyme,

Let’s see if y’all can pass no nut november after seeing this,
Her, why do men always cheat with ugly beaches,
The ugly beach,
They need to revoke some of y’all internet access,
All because the as fat and she can do a split, sad, l o l,

Wait what does aggressively heterosexual even mean,

Cracks ovaries open,
Hey who wants some forbidden caviar,
I’m thinking about this post during class,
Think about it again,

November is like the thursday of the year,
I don’t know why this makes so much sense but it does,

You ever wear fingerless gloves and hold a hot drink and immediately feel like a 1900s victorian urchin taking a break from pickpocketing to gratefully accept a meal from the soup kitchen,
How did you know,

Why we don’t have as many bigfoot sightings anymore,
Anyway shouts out to my aunt for posting the only valid phones bad boomer facebook meme i have ever seen in my life,

Why are cool socks not a bigger part of society, why doesn’t everyone have cool socks with designs on them, why do we confine ourselves to white socked heck,

Why is microsoft literally illiterate,
It’s fine, dave shrugged,
That is the correct use of it’s you piece of crap,