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Jul 27th, 2017
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  1. Today for the first time in my life, a girl gave me her number. I'm not particularly interested, and certainly wasn't trying to get her number (I don't even think I was flirting), but I'll almost certainly be seeing this girl again in April, and I don't really know how to deal with being the asshole who never called her and am afraid this awkwardness could put a major damper on an event that would otherwise be something I am really looking forward to enjoying. Any advice?
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  4. I'd like to explain the situation better, but there's the gist of everything if you just want to skip or skim my long-worded crap. There's a fair bit of crazy (my own) in the longer explanation to at least compensate anyone that reads it, though.
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  7. I've become involved with a herpetology group on campus, and as someone who has trouble meeting new people, I've been participating a lot and have been really enjoying it; I don't meet many intelligent people that are interested in Biology where I live. A few weeks ago, the professor in charge of the group invited a guest speaker to come to campus, and he gave a talk on the critically endangered turtles he was working with. Around 150 people showed up, and afterward, the professor invited the group to come to a restaurant, where they had the back room reserved. Obviously only a small group actually came, mostly consisting of the herp group and some faculty. Well, the girl in question had come, who wasn't a member of the herp group really but was taking the professor's course and was interested. At the end, I talked to her a little bit when we'd both moved closer to hear the guest speaker better, and that was it; I didn't think anything of it.
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  9. Well, today we had a similar situation; guest speaker on toxin sequestering in a species of Japanese snake, small group at the restaurant. I got to the restaurant early, picked an empty chair at a corner near other empty chairs rather than a few friends who were there (so I might get a chance to meet someone new or get to know someone better). Well, despite all the empty chairs, she arrived and sat down next to me, along with a man I'd at first assumed she was involved with. Shortly later, a friend arrived with his wife and took the other two chairs near me, and so I had the basic group I'd be talking to that night.
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  11. The five of us were talking for a while and I suddenly realized that she might be flirting with me. I figured I was imagining things (she's only the third girl who's ever expressed any kind of attraction to me, so I wasn't used to or expecting it), but I started picking up on very obvious signs that yes, she was flirting with me. She made a point of expressing that she'd just met the guy she came in with today, and that he was engaged. She asked if I lived alone, asked if I liked Barnes and Noble or Starbucks, and almost invited me to some dog show she was going to participate in tomorrow before remembering that I was going with the herp group on an outing. We'd also ordered almost the exact same meal; I got some fried rice with beef, she'd gotten it with tofu, and she'd asked if I wanted to try some of the tofu; I was a bit uncomfortable and declined. I tried to show that I wasn't interested without being rude whenever she said something, but when the bill came she ripped off the bottom and slid it over to me and I saw her name circled and she'd written in her number. A jolt of shock went through me; I'd never expected that to happen because I'd never tried to get a girl's number, and I was trying to send solid signals to indicate I wasn't interested in this case. Eventually, my friend and his wife, the other guy, and the girl were getting ready to go, and since everyone else was gone or busy talking to someone else I got ready to go. I wished her luck at the dog show, and she said something along the lines of maybe she could tell me about it some time later; she was really coming on strong at this point. I nodded but didn't say anything since I was just really confused. Instead of walking out with the group, I headed to the bathroom first and headed out.
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  13. At this point, I'm not sure how the right way is to proceed. Is it right to just ignore the number, and just not do anything? I don't want to piss her off though, to be that guy where she put herself way out there (and I know how hard that is, from the times I've done that myself) and then didn't call her. I'd be more inclined to do this if I knew that I'd probably never see her again if I didn't call, but she'll probably be there in April, and I can imagine that as being really awkward. Any girls out there have any advice as to what they'd prefer a guy to do, if there's something he can do?
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  16. Alternately, am I just being a pussy, when agreeing to meet at a coffee shop or something wouldn't hurt anything and I might find I like her? I guess my main turn offs are that she just wasn't what I considered attractive, and since I can't imagine why a girl would be attracted to me makes me wonder what's wrong with her if she is. She was pleasant to talk to before she started making me uncomfortable, but maybe that's just my fault. I'm also hesitant to get involved with someone I don't really know; she didn't say much about herself. Obviously she's into Biology, which is my main interest, likes animals which is a must, and isn't adverse to reptile and amphibians (a major plus but not a requirement), but she didn't really mention much about herself. She's into dog shows which is a bit of a turn off, though I don't know why, but I'm a Northerner in the South, and I'd completely given up on the idea of finding a girl here; I'm atheist, very liberal, and I'm an evolutionary biologist, which is basically the opposite of compatible with South Carolinians. The odds of her being compatible are pretty slim, though slightly higher given the setting and what I knew about her (she's a Biology major too).
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  18. And it could be just that I'm terrified with dating; I have my share of issues and I'm not sure how another person would deal with them. I have social anxiety disorder - I have medicine when I need it, but can generally get through things if I need to, or even thrive if I feel comfortable with the situation (such as these meetings). Still, it makes the idea of dating much more difficult. However, my main fear is because I have always had a low libido (suspect low testosterone but have no money or insurance to do anything about it, possibly caused by being electrocuted in high school) I don't really know how to date. Because of this, I have to be solidly emotionally attracted to a woman before I can feel comfortable with the idea of kissing her (i.e., I generally have a strong physical attraction to most good looking women, but need an emotional attraction before I feel any sexual attraction). Finally, making myself more insecure about dating, I'm a 27 year old virgin who's never managed to get a date before; and yes, I am entirely aware of how pathetic this makes me. It's a result of the social anxiety, libido problem, past rejections when I've overcome those issues, and so on, but I know entirely how big of a loser this makes me, so I'm not trying to excuse this fact.
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  21. Basically, I just want someone else's perspective on this. I'm aware of how crappy I am as far as date material goes, and completely stumped on why some girl seems to be so into me; I have my good qualities but can't imagine them outweighing even the bad she could see; I'm not completely ugly but I'm certainly not attractive, and I'm overdue for a haircut and hadn't had time to shave in two days so I assume that should be a major turn off for a girl. I just want to know if there's some polite way to let her down that won't make the next meeting awkward and not particularly fun, and if not if there's any way outside of ignoring her that I can take at the next meeting. I really enjoy these meetings and was just completely unprepared for a situation like this.
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  23. Or alternately, if I should take a chance and meet her anyway. I was picking up what seemed to be warning signs to me about her, but for all I know that could just be my own fear and anxiety. And yes, I'm completely aware of how pathetic I am and this thread makes me, but I am really trying to recognize and overcome my problems as best I can. Posting this is pathetic, but I'm too embarrassed to mention these kinds of things to my friends, so all I've got are a bunch of Internet strangers that are certainly going to rip me a new one. Have at it I guess, but if some people could at least post some constructive advice, I would really appreciate it.
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