Celestia Greentexts: Ambassador Anon Visits

Nov 18th, 2015
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  1. >You are Celestia, recently crowned princess of Equestria and also a nervous wreck.
  2. >Today you were going to speak to your first ambassador.
  3. >He was a mysterious figure named Anonymous, and he'd come here from a land unknown to you.
  4. >Or anypony else for that matter.
  5. >Pacing back and forth in your chambers, you were once again going over what you'd say.
  6. >"Greetings, and welcome to Equestria. We are Princess Celestia. Our sister is away, unfortunately, so she won't be joining us for our lunch."
  7. >Over and over and over again, you'd repeated it in your head.
  8. >You'd gotten it down, right?
  9. >Right.
  10. >Yes.
  11. >Right.
  12. >This would work out fine.
  13. >Everything would be fine.
  14. >You were going to make a good impression on this "Anonymous", and you'd be sure he spread word of your hospitality.
  15. >Then Equestria's reputation would get better.
  16. >And then you'd be ready for more ambassadors.
  17. >Yes.
  18. >Of course.
  19. >As long as you don't falter in this meeting.
  20. >You wouldn't.
  21. >Right?
  22. >Right.
  23. >There was a knock on your door.
  24. >"Princess, Anonymous has arrived."
  25. >You gulped.
  26. >"C-coming right out."
  27. >Everything will be fine.
  28. >Right?
  29. >...
  31. >"Sir Anonymous, a pleasure to meet you," a guard stationed by the front gate told you.
  32. >This was fancy, alright.
  33. >Not that you expected any less.
  34. >Your only deal was how you even got roped into this.
  35. >By no means were you actually an ambassador, but you got here somehow.
  36. >Someway.
  37. >And the assumptions went flying until you had tons of money and your own miniature castle to live in.
  38. >All because of your species and mysterious arrival.
  39. >Not that you were complaining.
  40. >Now you were seeing a princess of a brand new nation.
  41. >This new life thrust upon you was a dutiful, if easy one.
  42. "Right back at you," you told the guard.
  43. >He seemed bewildered that you didn't use any fancy language.
  44. >He cleared his throat, coughing into his hoof. "Yes, of course."
  45. >The entrance to the castle opened at that moment, a grinning (albeit a bit too hard) winged unicorn coming out to greet you.
  46. >"Greetings, Sir Anonymous, and welcome to Equestria. We are Princess Celestia. Our sister is away, unfortunately, so she will not be joining us for our lunch."
  47. >She holds out her hoof to you, almost as if waiting for you to do something.
  48. >All present stand awkwardly in their positions as they wait on you to do something.
  49. >So you do what comes naturally.
  50. "A pleasure to meet you, princess," you say, grabbing her hoof and shaking it.
  51. >She gives you a look that you would call a mixture of shock and disgust.
  52. >In fact, they all are.
  53. >"Uh...."
  54. "What?"
  55. >"N-nothing, nothing at all, Sir Anonymous!" Celestia spouts, sweat dripping down her forehead as she turns around. "Let us head for the dining room. Guards, if you would escort us."
  56. >The armored ponies do as they're told, leading you and the princess inside.
  57. >Looking around the castle, you're amazed at such regality in comparison to your own castle.
  58. >Large, ornate halls, the walls covered with paintings and other fine arts.
  59. >Servants hustling to get their jobs done, whether in the presence of royalty or not.
  60. >Truly, your home was nothing now that you'd seen this.
  61. >Walking through a small entrance, you reach the dining room, which is itself decorated with stained glass windows on either side.
  62. >"Please, take a seat next to m- us, Sir Anonymous," Celestia invites, pulling out a chair as she sat in the one on its left.
  63. >You took her up on the offer, sitting down and waiting for food as the guards stood nearby and watched.
  64. >The princess only kept up her now awkward grin, trying her hardest to appear friendly.
  65. >You were no politician, but even you knew she had a lot of work to do.
  66. >"So, Sir Anonymous, from what province do thou hail?"
  67. >You shrug.
  68. "Don't know. I don't think there's even a name for where I live."
  69. >"Not where thou lives, but where thy birthplace was."
  70. "You don't have to keep doing that ye olde speak, princess."
  71. >She's surprised at your bluntness, then frowns and turns away for a moment.
  72. >From what you can tell, she's sweating even more and gnawing on her hoof.
  73. >She faces you again with a forced smile.
  74. >"O-of course! I'll stop right away!"
  75. >What's got her so wound up?
  76. "Anyways, I was from this place called Earth. I don't think this is Earth, so I'd say it counts as a foreign land."
  77. >She's dumbfounded.
  78. >Man, you're really messing her up, and you're not even trying.
  79. >"'Earth'? I've never heard of such a place. Nowhere in this world is it found."
  80. "Makes me all the more mysterious then, doesn't it?"
  81. >"A good quality to be mysterious! It may follow untrustworthiness, independability, a-"
  82. >She catches herself.
  83. >"Never mind. I'm happy to make your acquaintance anyways."
  84. "Likewise."
  85. >"Perhaps a partnership between our territories isn't that far off?"
  86. "Uh...I guess?"
  87. >For a brief moment, her smile falters.
  88. >Is she okay?
  89. >The food comes out and arrives at the table: a green salad mixed with tomatoes, with two breadsticks as a side.
  90. >Simple, but refined.
  91. >"Ah, I hope you enjoy the food, Sir Anonymous. Our finest chefs prepared it."
  92. >She gently grabs her fork with her magic, dipping it into the bowl and taking a very small portion out.
  93. >The fork delicately floats up to her mouth before she takes a slow bite, chewing and swallowing as quietly as she could.
  94. >"Delicious."
  95. >The display is graceful and ladylike.
  96. >You took your fork, grabbed a sizable portion, and stuffed it into your mouth without a care in the world.
  97. >You swallow as she stares again.
  98. "It's alright."
  99. >"Gyuh..."
  100. >As you keep eating, she looks as though she's trying to process what she's seeing.
  101. >And failing to do so.
  102. >Snapping out of it, she continues to eat in her careful manner, and before you know it, you're finished eating while she's not even halfway.
  103. "So why're you eating so slowly, princess?"
  104. >She freezes.
  105. >"W-would you rather I eat quickly?"
  106. >Before you can answer, she wolfs down the rest of her salad, making it disappear within seconds.
  107. >If you told her to jump off a cliff (without flying), would she do it?
  108. >"That was a fine meal, and I commend the chefs for working so hard to bring it to us."
  109. "Any dessert planned?"
  110. >"YES."
  111. >Her wide-eyed enthusiasm is followed by a pregnant pause, her gaze on you suddenly becoming more awkward then it already was.
  112. >She calmly sets herself back in her seat.
  113. >"I mean, yes, there will be."
  114. "Good. Cake sounds good right about now."
  115. >"I-" She stops herself from getting up again, also lowering the volume of her voice. "Would have to agree."
  116. >She settles back into her chair for good this time, then continues talking.
  117. >"What do you plan on doing with your territory, Anonymous? Thoughts on expanding, or perhaps in need of supplies?"
  118. "Not really. I think I'm fine with the nice place I've got."
  119. >"Humble. That's a quality I can appreciate. But you're certain you wouldn't need anything from Equestria?"
  120. "...no?"
  121. >"I mean, if you're happy with what you have, I suppose I shouldn't force anything on you."
  122. >She shifts in her seat, turning her attention elsewhere.
  123. >Then she's back to you.
  124. >"But are you sure Equestria can do nothing for you?"
  125. "Yes, princess. I'm positive."
  126. >She nods.
  127. >The dessert comes out at that moment, a large slice of cheesecake being placed in front of you and the princess on a silver platter.
  128. >From the look on Celestia's face, it would seem she's holding back from eating her slice as quickly as she could.
  129. >That is to say, she's overly-careful with her slice, cutting a smaller section with her fork very carefully, moreso then with her salad.
  130. >You take your fork, cut into the cake, and eat it in the amount of time she takes to cut her's.
  131. >As she eyes her portion and precise cutting, you clear your throat.
  132. "Just dig into it, princess. It's not like it's going to bother me."
  133. >The slice of cake is gone before you can even blink.
  134. >Her mouth is stuffed to the brim, her cheeks reminding you of a squirrel carrying nuts in its mouth.
  135. >Or was that chipmunks' thing?
  136. "Someone likes cake."
  137. >Guiltily, she nods, swallowing the slice down and giving a sheepish grin.
  138. "So why have you been trying to be all fancy with me, Celestia?"
  139. >"Fancy?"
  140. "The Ye Olde, the careful eating, business only conversation. I can tell this isn't how you actually are."
  141. >Her eyes dart downward, a frown forming on her face.
  142. >"I...I thought since you were the first public official I was speaking to, I'd have to do as a princess does."
  143. "Be boring and having overly polite table manners?"
  144. >The alicorn looks hurt at your comment for a moment, but knows you're right.
  145. >"I wanted to impress you. If I had done so, Equestria may be taken seriously as a nation."
  146. "Because of me?"
  147. >"Well, not completely. Word of your good visit would do wonders, though."
  148. >You cock your head to the side.
  149. "If I had to give this visit a rating, it'd be a six out of ten."
  150. >"Huh?"
  151. "I mean...I guess I should put this into words."
  152. >You take a deep breath.
  153. "Your constant attempt at making yourself seem official only made the visit more awkward then it should've been. The food was fine and when you talked normally, it was good, but the overall experience would've been better if you just let loose and had been yourself. Be sociable, princess."
  154. >Your words begin to sink in, the princess slowly smiling as she goes over what you said.
  155. >"You're...you're right."
  156. >She gets up from her seat.
  157. >"I was so worried about making a good impression that I ended up doing the opposite of what I wanted. I should act more like a pony then a high and mighty princess."
  158. "Exactly."
  159. >"Wow, I didn't think I'd be learning a lesson from this visit."
  160. >The alicorn chuckles genuinely.
  161. "I'd say you should remember this for future visits. Take things easy, y'know?"
  162. >"Of course. I'll remember this."
  163. >You get up from your seat as well.
  164. "And I'll be sure to spread some word about my fine visit with the princess of Equestria. Don't know how much my word is worth, but I'll talk to ponies."
  165. >"Even though the visit was less then stellar?"
  166. "Hey, I'd say this little lesson just took it up to an eight, maybe a nine."
  167. >"You're too kind," she teases.
  168. >Maybe a ten and you'd get a kiss.
  169. >Maybe.
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