I've been working as a graphic design apprentice for the past 10 months. According to the national apprentice standard for junior content producers (in the UK) I am supposed to get 20% off to do my own training (i have access to training sites that I am supposed to use and I have weekly tasks to do). When I first started they asked me if I could work for a bit and not take time off because they really needed me there, I agreed. Time went by and I asked about my 20% off and was told I could possibly get a half day but they still need me around, again I agreed. I then asked about it again and was told I have to do the training at work, but I am always loaded with work so I can't do it while there and end up having to do my mandatory apprenticeship work at home and I simply havnt had enough time to use the training sites in my own time and would like some semblance of a work-life balance.
I asked about my training again and my line-manager complained to me that I have not been using the training sites and told me I need to start doing it during my lunch breaks (pretty sure thats illegal but whatever), she has also complained about me not meeting some deadlines and told me I need to work during my lunch break if im not going to meet a deadline. She often overloads me, I usually have almost double if not triple the amount of tasks she has (we use JIRA to assign tasks so I can she hers and she can see mine)
I have monthly meetings with a learning coach from the apprenticeship provider (who is actually my employer as well), I have been complaining about not getting my 20% off to do training to him and he has said that he would push my line manager about it, but of course nothing changed. I had a mandatory class (all apprentices have to do it) as well with a teacher who is employed by the apprenticeship provider, and we were discussing how our apprenticeships were going and he asked us if we were all getting our training, I of course made a remark about how I haven't gotten a single day off for it and he seemed pretty shocked about it and said he would speak to my learning coach, I then had a meeting with my learning coach about it and he said he would speak to my line-manager about it. So now since then my line-manager has been getting even more aggressive to me, complaining in-front of other colleagues about how I'm apparently not doing well and how she "can't rely on me" (??). We have weekly one to one meetings and I asked again about my training and she has basically told me I'm not getting it and how apparently she has been complaining to our team head and he has apparently said to "get rid of me" and that everyone on our team thinks that i "don't contribute enough" & "don't care about the company" and the only reason I am still working there is because she has been protecting me to give me a chance (sure doesnt seem like it with her attitude towards me though).
I would also like to point out that I'm almost certain she is gas lighting me, we had to move all our files to a new system and apparently I was supposed to move EVERYTHING (I had moved the files I primarily am tasked with and some others), well the other files didnt get moved and she starts complaining to me about how I should have done it etc even though I was never tasked with it in JIRA. There are also other times im sure she has tried to gaslight me before but I can't give every example here.
As well as this I would like to point out there was a web designer (who i think had joined only recently) on our team who shes managed who quit just 1.5 months after I worked and people made some remarks about how he looked like he hated the job (i'm starting to hate it too). There was also another graphic designer who joined who quit after just 3 weeks who was the link between our graphic design team (me and my manager) and another graphic design team (idk if she was actually managed by my line-manager though).
I feel I can't go to our team head as he seems to love my manager and is always talking about how great she is and has literally told me that if I didnt have my line-manager I would be useless (very encouraging as an apprentice) even though I taught my manager how to use InDesign properly, yes I as an apprentice had to teach my line-manager how to use a widely used print production program. All the previous InDesign files before I joined didnt make use of grids and generally had very bad practices like not using paragraph styling and not correctly making bullet points, instead they were all done "manually" using dashes, line breaks and spaces to align everything.... I feel like my line-manager isn't even qualified to work there let alone teach me.
I feel like my manager and team generally don't care about training me, she will sometimes send me random links to articles (the same ones I'm subscribed to so I know she isnt putting any effort towards training me because they are emailed to me as well as her) and then complains that I apparently don't use them, I think she feels that's my "training". We also have random training events company wide where we have people come in and give talks, I had signed up for just one class and she came and told me that I "have to go to all the rest of the classes today", so I ended up being forced to go to classes on "the current financial climate" and "how to interview" (interviewing people to join the company, not general interviewing) which are pretty useless for me.
There are multiple more things I can mention but this post has already gotten very long, my work has stated taking a serious toll on my mental health, my anxiety has gotten worse and I've started developing what I think is depression (i don't think I had it before). It has also taken a physical toll on me as I've started grinding and clenching my teeth from all the stress while working there. I don't really know what to do, after yesterday when she told me i'm not getting the 20% off (which I need to pass the apprenticeship) and told me the only reason I'm still there because of her I almost had a break-down and started crying on the train home and did have a break down once I got home explaining everything to my mother. The worst part is that they seem to be pretending to care about me but do less than the minimum to help me. I feel very lost and angry at them and really need some advice.