I'm using a friend's account to protect my identity. The horrors which I am about to describe are not for the faint of heart. Please keep that in mind before you continue reading this review.

It was a few months ago when I purchased these delicious treats. I thought the reviews that people on here were posting were just a hoax. But don't let their cute shape or amazing taste fool you. These things are straight from hell.

I'm a gamer, and as a gamer I like to snack while I play (I mean, who doesn't?). I had just started a nice week long vacation that I'd been looking forward to, and booted up my computer getting ready to participate in my guilds raid that evening. While loading, I thought I'd help myself to a few of these gummy bears. But as with most treats, a few often turns into self loathing when you consume more than you should.

Everything was fine up until about an hour later. We were in the middle of a large battle when I started to feel it... the ache in my stomach. I immediately knew a pound of these gummies was just too much for any mere mortal to consume (even if he was a fully geared and max leveled wizard). I put it off, though, as I had a more pressing concern. We had our boss down to 30% health. He began to go into the final phase of the fight and as he did, the bass on my computer speakers let out a very low tone, causing me to feel the vibrations not only with my feet, but also my rectum.

"No.. not now!" I thought to myself. This was the first time it looked like we would win this fight, and I wasn't going to let the rest of my guild down... although in hindsight I may still have a guild if I had just gotten up. Those vibrations had started a chain reaction that would not stop. First came the smell... oh god was it bad. When someone tells me they smell something bad, I'm the type of person that wants to go smell it just to see how bad it is. Let me say, the smell that came from me should have been classified as a military grade biological weapon. If governments knew just how deadly the fumes coming from me were, there'd be no need for them to have a military. I'd be their one and only deterrent, like Iron Man.

Somehow I managed to stay conscious despite the smell. The only explanation I have is divine intervention... although I wish whichever deity it was had not intervened. Shortly after the smell subsided and I thought I was in the clear (about 10% of the boss's health later), I felt my sphincter muscles spasm... I knew at that instant it was too late. There's no way I'd make it to the bathroom even if I tried. I was down to 1 hit point and an unavoidable attack was coming out of my anus.

"Oh god.... no... no... no..." it was all I could say before I clenched my eyes shut and let out a scream like that of a unicorn being raped with its own horn. But it was drown out by the sounds coming from my rectum. I wish I could say no one else was able to hear it, but not only were the windows to my living room open for the poor older woman walking her dog in front of my house to hear... I had also left my mic on unknowingly. The one person from my old guild who will still talk to me described the sounds as such: "I thought I was listening to someone being tortured on a Rack in the middle ages."

I spent the next few moments recovering from what I would compare to giving birth, only messier. When my eyes finally opened and my ears stopped ringing, I could hear the *drip* *drip* of the vile substance that had come from me, dribbling from my chair to the floor. The silence was broken by the sound of my character being ejected from our guild. They didn't need to say it... I didn't need to hear it. They didn't want that memory to stay with them.

I spent the next few days trying to recover, but ended up spending the rest of my vacation in bed. After my vacation ended, I needed to take FMLA leave, from which I never returned. I lost my job. I can only imagine what that poor lady and her dog saw, heard and smelled. I hope they're okay. My therapist has said this detailed description of what occurred could help me come to terms with what happened and give me another chance at a normal life.

Come to think of it... I'm not even sure what happened to the underwear I had on... when I got the courage to change, they were just gone.