Cinder Rellaa, as told by Tavros

-- CURRENT adiosToreadora [CAT] reads a book, sitting in her chair. --
PAT: /me reads over other AT's shoulder.
-- CURRENT adiosToreadora [CAT] is reading classic fairy tales!... only the troll versions --
PAT: 0th3r m3, wh4t'2 th3 b32t 2t0ry 1n 1t?
-- CURRENT nyanLeijon [CNL] peeks over tav's shoulder --
FSC: tav tav!
FSC: can you read for us`?
PAT: 4nd c4n y0u r34d 1t t0 u2?
CAT: i LIKE, tHE STORY ABOUT THE, uMM, eNSLAVED LOWBLOOD GIRL MEETING A HIGHBLOOD PRINCE, iN DISGUISE, aND, hE FALLS IN LOVE AND MAKER HER HIS MATESPRIT EVEN AFTER HE FINDS OUT HER BLOOD COLOR, eVEN IF, iT IS NOT A POPULAR STORY,,,
CAT: uH,
CAT: i GUESS, i COULD READ IT TO YOU, sOMETIME,,,
FSC: what about now?
CAT: ((dang i should find a simple version of Cinderella and rewrite it as a troll version))
FSC: all of us want to hear!
PAT: N0w 12 g00d.
CCG: GO FOR IT :V]]
CCG: YEAH I REMEMBER THAT ONE.
CNL: Me too! :3
CAT: uHHHH,
PAT: Y0u g0t th12, 0th3r m3!
CCG: I'LL NEVER GET WHY YOU'RE INTO ALL THAT FANTASY BULLSHIT NITRAM, BUT THEN AGAIN I NEVER WILL.
-- CURRENT adiosToreadora [CAT] 's face turns brown --
FSC: what is it tav?
CCS: Karkat, why you're so fuckass?
CCS: :/
FSC: youre face is turning peanut butter color!
CAT: sORRY, i GUESS i AM SORT OF, eMBARRASSED, sORRY,
CCG: IT'S "WHY ARE YOU SUCH A FUCKASS" AND THE ANSWER IS "I'M ONLY A GODDAMN FUCKASS WHEN IT'S NEEDED, WHICH IS NEAR FUCKING CONSTANTLY."
CCG: ACTUALLY I GUESS I CAN'T MOCK YOU SINCE YOU ACTUALLY *ARE* A FUCKING GIRL COMPARED TO THE NITRAM I AM.
CCG: KNOW*
CCG: FKL;ADJSFK;LADS
CCG: I'M TIRED.
CCG: THIS FUCKING METEOR.
CCG: BUT LIKE I WAS SAYING.
CNL: Karkat! >:/
CTT: [all troll fairytales end with a body count]
CCG: NITRAM IS ALWAYS PLAYING GAMES FOR GIRLS SO I GUESS IT'S FITTING FOR THIS NITRAM.
CCG: PRETTY MUCH]]
PAT: W3ll, 4nyw4y2, 1 h4ft4 g0 n0w.
CAT: oKAY, uMMMM,
CAT: oG,
PAT: Th4nk2 f0r th3 2t0ry!
CAT: oH*,
CTT: [same for all troll holidays]
PAT ceased responding to memo.
CAT ceased responding to memo.
CAT: i WAS ABOUT TO START READING,,,
CCG: GO AHEAD?
CNL: Go on, tav!
CTT: Yes, please do.
CAT: i GUESS, hE WILL MISS OUT,
CAT: oKAY, uMM,
FSC: ((brb))
-- CURRENT tentacoolTherapy [CTT] is quite intrigued[spelling is for chumps] by the idea of troll fairytales --
CEB: ((You got it right))
CEB: ((:V))
CCG: I AM A CHUMP :V]]
??? carcinoGenomes [?CG] ??:?? FROM ???? responded to memo.
?CG: HEY.
CCG: OH GOD DAMMIT.
FTW: Uhm... hi.
CEB: hey!
CCG: ARE YOU JUST IN HERE ALL THE GODDAMN TIME TO SPITE ME OR SOME SHIT?
?CG: NO.
?CG: I JUST COME IN HERE.
-- CURRENT ectoBiomechanicist [CEB] leans on Rose a bit. --
CAT: oNCE UPON A TIME, tHERE LIVED AN UNHAPPY TROLL,,, uNHAPPY SHE WAS, fOR HER LUSUS WAS DEAD, aND, sHE WAS PUT IN THE CARE OF A DIFFERENT LUSUS WHO HAD TWO TWIN TROLL GIRLS OF HER OWN, aND, dIDN'T LIKE THE LOWBLOOD GIRL ONE BIT, bUT, dID NOT CULL HER,
-- ??? carcinoGenomes [?CG] shrugs and listens to whatever this is Nitram is reading. He doesn't have much to do right now anyway. --
CCG: FUCK IT, I'LL BE BACK LATER.
?CG: LATER.
CCG ceased responding to memo.
CAT: aLL THE NICE THINGS, sUCH AS, kIND THOUGHTS AND LOVING TOUCHES, wERE FOR THE LUSUS' OWN WARDS, aND NOT JUST LOVE, bUT, pAMPERING WITH GIFTS AND GOOD FOOD, aND, aDEQUATE RECUPERACOONS AND COMFORT,
CCS: hello SC
CAT: aLL THIS WAS LAID, fOR HER ORIGINAL WARDS,
FSC: hello CS
CAT: bUT FOR THE POOR, uNHAPPY TROLL, tHERE WAS NOTHING AT ALL,
CNL: Listen!
-- FUTURE shayanaCapricorn [FSC] listens to tav reading --
CAT: nO DRESSES, oNLY THE TWINS' HAND-ME-DOWNS,
CAT: nO GOOD FOOD, oNLY SCRAPS,
CAT: nO NICE REST, aND COMFORT,
?CG: SOUNDS LIKE AMPORA'S LIFE.
CAT: fOR SHE HAD TO WORK HARD, aLL NIGHT,
CAT: aND ONLY WHEN THE SUN ROSE, wAS SHE ALLOWED TO SIT FOR A WHILE, bY THE FIRE, nEAR THE CINDERS,
CNE: I 11K3 7H15 5t0Ry
CDP ceased responding to memo.
CAT: tHAT IS HOW, sHE GOT HER NAME, fOR EVERYONE CALLED HER, cINDER RELLAA,
CAT: ((This just in, Cinder Rellaa is a valid troll name)
FTW: (( ... :O ))
CNE: O_O
-- CURRENT chaoticSinger [CCS] listened to the story of Tavros, begins to sleep on the floor --
?CG: THAT WORKS]]
CTT: [yup :Y]
-- FUTURE shayanaCapricorn [FSC] listens to tav exiting to the ending --
CNL: 0_0
CCS: zzzz
CAT: cINDER RELLAA USED TO, uH, sPEND LONG HOURS ALL ALONE, tALKING TO A SQUEAKBEAST,
CDP: ♫ oh i know this story ♫
?CG: ...
-- CURRENT djPon3 [CDP] sits and listens --
CAT: thE SQUEAKBEAST SAID, "sQUEAK", wHICH REALLY MEANT, "cHEER UP! yOU HAVE SOMETHING THE TWIN WARDS DO NOT HAVE, aND, tHAT IS BEAUTY,"
-- CURRENT tentacoolTherapy [CTT] listening intently, taking mental notes while she leans on John --
CAT: eXCEPT, tHAT IS NOT ACTUALLY WHAT THE SQUEAKBEAST SAID, cINDER RELLAA WAS JUST USING HER IMAGINATION, tO ASSIST HER POOR SELF ESTEEM,
CAT: bUT NONETHELESS, iT WAS QUITE TRUE,
CAT: cINDER RELLAA, eVEN DRESSED IN RAGS, wITH A DUSTY FACE FROM THE CINDERS, wAS A LOVELY GIRL,
CTT: [would Cinder Rellaa not have sopor slime to sleep in?]
CAT: ((yes))
?CG: SO SHE PROBABLY HAD PRETTY VIOLENT DREAMS AND STUFF]]
CTT: [If I remeber correctly the human Cinderella had to sleep in the cinder ashes]
CTT: [Yep]
CAT: wHILE THE TWIN WARDS, nO MATTER HOW SPLENDID, aND ELEGANT THEIR CLOTHES, wERE STILL CLUMSY, lUMPY, aND UGLY, aND ALWAYS WOULD BE,
CDP: ♫ haha ♫
FSC: ((brb im going to eat dinner C:))
?CG: TWIN SERKETS.
?CG: ...
CAT: oNE DAY, bEAUTIFUL NEW DRESSES ARRIVED AT THE HIVE,
CDP: ♫ pffft haha ♫
CAT: a BALL WAS TO BE HELD AT THE HIGHBLOOD COURT, aND THE TWINS WERE GETTING READY TO GO TO IT,
CAT: cINDER RELLAA DIDN'T EVEN DARE ASK, "wHAT ABOUT ME," fOR SHE KNEW VERY WELL WHAT THE ANSWER WOULD BE,
CAT: "yOU? mY DEAR LOWBLOOD, yOU'RE STAYING AT THE HIVE TO WASH THE DISHES, sCRUB THE FLOOR, aND CHANGE THE SLIME IN THE RECUPERACOON'S FOR YOUR BETTERS, tHEY WILL COME HOME VERY TIRED AND VERY SLEEPY,"
CAT: cINDER RELLAA SIGHED AT THE SQUEAKBEAST, "oH DEAR, i'M SO UNHAPPY," sHE SAID, aND THE SQUEAKBEAST ONLY REPLIED, "sQUEAK,"
?CG: REALLY FUCKING GLAD LOWBLOODS AREN'T SLAVES ANYMORE LIKE IN THE OLD DAYS.
-- CURRENT ectoBiomechanicist [CEB] isn't paying quite as much attention as Rose. But is indeed listening, while leaning back on her. --
CAT: sUDDENLY, sOMETHING AMAZING HAPPENED,
CCS: zzzzz bluh bluh zzzz
CDP: ♫ magic ♫
CAT: iN THE KITCHEN, wHERE THE LOWBLOOD WAS SITTING ALL BY HERSELF, tHERE WAS A BURST OF LIGHT AND A FAIRY APPEARED!
-- CURRENT djPon3 [CDP] gasp --
-- CURRENT djPon3 [CDP] B| --
-- ??? carcinoGenomes [?CG] rolls his eyes. --
-- ??? carcinoGenomes [?CG] is still listening however. --
CNL: Omfg!
CDP: ♫ whatwhat ♫
CAT: "dON'T BE ALARMED, cINDER RELLA," sAID THE FAIRY, "tHE WIND BLEW ME TO YOUR SIGHS, i KNOW YOU WOULD LOVE TO GO TO THE HIGHBLOOD BALL, aND SO YOU SHALL,"
CAT: "hOW CAN i, dRESSED IN RAGS, aND WITH MY BLOOD SO LOW?" cINDER RELLAA REPLIED, "tHE SERVANTS WILL TURN ME AWAY,"
?CG: THIS IS A MASTERFUL RETELLING BTW AT :V]]
CDP: ♫ ((its amazing :3)) ♫
CAT: tHE FAIRY SMILED,,, wITH A FLICK OF HER MAGIC WAND, cINER RELLAA FOUND HERSELF IN, tHE MOST BEAUTIFUL DRESS, tHE LOVELIEST EVER SEEN IN THE RHEALM, aND NOT A HINT TO HER TRUE CASTE IN SIGHT,
FTW: (( FUCKIN BE▲UTIFUL ))
?CG: AS LONG AS SHE DIDNT' FUCKING BLUSH OR SOMETHING.
CAT: "nOW THAT WE HAVE SETTLED THE MATTER OF THE DRESS AND BLOOD," sAID THE DAIRY, "wE WILL NEED TO, gET YOU A COACH,,, a REAL HIGHBLOOD WOULD NEVER GO TO A BALL ON FOOT,"
CNL: God fuckin damn!
CAT: aLSO, KARKAT, i ASSUME THAT IT WAS IMPLIED THAT SHE WAS GIVEN COPIOUS MAKEUP, lIKE, foUNDATION AND ROUGE, tO HIDE HER CASTE,
CCS: zzzzz bluh bluh zzz
?CG: YEAH I GUESS THAT MAKES SENSE.
CAD ceased responding to memo.
CNE: DP, AD, y0u'R3 b07H 14t3
CAT: "qUICK, gET ME A PUMPKIN," tHE FAIRY ORDERED, aND CINDER RELLAA REPLIED, "wHAT PUMPKIN?" fOR SHE HAD NONE, bUT THEN SHE RECALLED THAT, bEYOND THE HEDGE OF THE LAWN RING WAS A SMALL, wILD PUMPKIN PATCH, sO SHE BROUGHT ONE OF THOSE,
CDP: ♫ late? ♫
CTT: [oh gog]
CTT: [you are the best]
CNE: (( lol nice reference to the "what pumpkin" joke ))
CAT: tHEN THE FAIRY TURNED TO THE SQUEAKBEAST AND SAID, "qUICK, bRING ME SEVEN OF YOUR FELLOWS," aND HE SCURRIED AWAY, rETURNING WITH SEVEN SQUEAKBEASTS,
CAT: "gOOD," eXCLAIMED THE FAIRY, aND, wITH A FLICK OF HER MAGIC WAND,,, wONDER, oF WONDERS! tHE PUMPKIN TURNED INTO, a SPARKLING COACH AND THE MICE BECAME BEAUTIFUL WHITE HOOFBEASTS, eXCEPT FOR THE LAST, wHICH BECAUSE THE COACHMAN, iN A SMART UNIFORM, aND CARRYING A WHIP,,, cINDER RELLAA COULD HARDLY BELIEVE HER EYES,
CNL: This story is furry good! :3
CAT: "i SHALL PRESENT YOU AT COURT,, yOU WILL SOON SEE THAT HIGHBLOOD IN WHOSE HONOR THE BALL IS BEING HELD, wILL BE ENCHANTED BY YOUR LOVELINESS,,, bUT REMEMBER! yOU MUST LEAVE THE BALL BEFORE SUNRISE AND COME HOME, fOR THAT IS WHEN THE SPELL ENDS,,, yOUR COACH WILL TURN BACK INTO A PUMPKIN, tHE HOOFBEASTS AND THE COACHMAN BACK INTO SQUAKBEASTS, aND YOU WILL BE DRESSED AGAIN IN RAGS AND BE BAREFOOT INSTEAD OF IN THESE DAINTY LITTLE SLIPPERS! dO YOU UNDERSTAND?"
CAT: cINDER RELLAA SMILED AND SAID, "yES, i UNDERSTAND,"
-- CURRENT tentacoolTherapy [CTT] nods rather than agreeing vocally, so she does not miss anything --
CAT: wHEN CINDER RELLAA ENTERED THE BALLROOM AT THE HIGHBLOOD'S CASTLE, a HUSH FELL,
-- ??? carcinoGenomes [?CG] is listening half-intently. She's not a bad storytller. --
-- ??? carcinoGenomes [?CG] teller* --
CAT: eVERYONE STOPPED MID-SENTENCE TO ADMIRE THE SECRET LOWBLOOD'S ELEGANCE, hER BEAUTY, aND GRACE,
CAT: "wHO CAN THAT BE?" tHE HIGHBLOODS ASKED EACH OTHER,
CAT: tHE TWINS ALSO WONDERED WHO THE NEWCOMER WAS, fOR NEVER IN ALL THESE PERIGEES, wOULD THEY EVER HAVE GUESSED THAT, tHE BEAUTIFUL TROLL WAS REALLY POOR CINDER RELLAA, wHO TALKED TO SQUEAKBEASTS,
-- CURRENT djPon3 [CDP] is listening intently, sat near to where AT is --
CAT: wHEN THE HIGHBLOOD WHOM THE BALL WAS BEING HELD IN HONOR OF SET HIS EYES ON CINDER RELLAA, hE WAS STRUCK FLUSHED BY HER BEAUTY,
CAT: wALKING OVER TO HER, hE BOWED DEEPLY, aND, aSKED HER TO DANCE,
CNL: Woo!
CAT: aND TO THE DISAPPOINTMENT OF ALL THE TROLLS WISHING TO SHARE A QUADRANT WITH HIM, hE DANCED WITH CINDER RELLAA THE ENTIRE TIME,
CAT: "wHO ARE YOU, fAIR MAIDEN," tHE HIGHBLOOD KEPT ASKING HER, bUT SHE ONLY REPLIED, "wHAT DOES IT MATTER WHO i AM! yOU WILL, nEVER SEE ME AGAIN ANYWAY,"
CAT: "oH, bUT i SHALL, i'M QUITE CERTAIN," hE REPLIED,
CNL: Too bad for the other highbloods
CURRENT deviousSerpent [CDS] RIGHT NOW responded to memo.
-- CURRENT deviousSerpent [CDS] wanders in. --
CDB: hi kataki!!!!
CDS: Oh? Someone telling a story?
FTW: Oh...
?CG: WELL THERE'S STILL THE BLACK QUADRANTS BUT WHATEVER.
CNE: 5hh!
?CG: QUADRANT*
CDS: Hi, Rebecca. :D
CAT: cINDER RELLAA HAD A WONDERFUL TIME AT THE BALL,,, bUT ALL OF A SUDDEN, sHE HEARD THE SOUND OF A CLOCK: tHE FIRST STROKE OF DAWN! oUTSIDE THE CURTAINED WINDOWS, sHE COULD ALMOST SEE A TRICKLE OF LIGHT UPON THE HORIZON,
CNL: :0
CAT: sHE REMEMBERED WHAT THE FAIRY SAID, aND WITHOUT A WORD OF GOODBYE, sHE SLIPPED FROM THE HIGHBLOOD'S ARMS AND RAN DOWN THE STEPS, aS SHE RAN, sHE LOST ON OF HER SLIPPERS, bUT NOT FOR A MOMENT DID SHE STOP TO PICK IT UP,
CEB: yeah, tavros is telling troll cinderella!
CDS: Oh, that's nice.
-- CURRENT tentacoolTherapy [CTT] shushes everyone --
CAT: iF THE SUN WERE TO RISE, nOT ONLY WOULD THE SPELL END AND REVEAL HERSELF AS THE LOWBLOOD SHE IS, bUT, bEING OUTSIDE, sHE WOULD SUFFER THE EFFECTS OF THE SUN,
CAT: oH, wHAT A DISASTER THAT WOULD BE! tO HER COACH SHE FLED, aND, vANISHED INTO THE TWILIGHT,
CDS: The best story I know is the myth of the Yamata-no-Orochi...
CDP: ♫ the hell is that ♫
-- CURRENT neoEcologist [CNE] shushes everyone --
-- CURRENT tentacoolTherapy [CTT] shush shush shushhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh --
-- CURRENT deviousSerpent [CDS] is quiet. --
-- ??? carcinoGenomes [?CG] listening intently as well, with crossed arms. --
CAT: tHE HIGHBLOOD, wHO WAS NOW HORNS-OVER-HEELS FLUSHED FOR CINDER RELLAA, pICKED UP HER SLIPPER AND SAID TO HIS SERVANTS, "gO AND SEARCH EVERYWHERE FOR THE GIRL WHOSE FOOT THIS SLIPPER FITS, i WILL NEVER BE CONTENT UNTIL i FIND HER,"
CNL: Epic win!
-- CURRENT tentacoolTherapy [CTT] shushhhh --
CAT: sO THE SERVANTS TRIED THE SLIPPER ON THE FOOT OF ALL THE GIRLS IN THE AREA, iNCLUDING CINDER RELLAA'S WHEN THEY ARRIVED AT THE HIVE SHE RESIDED IN, aND,,, sURPRISE! tHE SLIPPER FIT PERFECTLY,
CNL: :3
CDP: ♫ whoo ♫
CAT: "tHAT AWFUL, uNTIDY LOWBLOOD SIMPLY COULD NOT HAVE BEEN AT THE BALL," hISSED THE CRUEL LUSUS,
-- CURRENT ectoBiomechanicist [CEB] is quietly listening, leaning on rose. --
?CG: WHAT A SHITTY LUSUS.
CCS: lol
CEB: shhh!
-- CURRENT djPon3 [CDP] shockin devvellopment --
CAT: "tELL THE HIGHBLOOD HE OUGHT TO SHARE HIS FLUSHED QUADRANT WITH ONE OF MY TWO WARDS,,, cAN'T YOU SEE HOW UGLY AND LOWBLOODED CINDER RELLAA IS? cAN'T YOU SEE?"
CDP: ♫ haha ♫
CAT: sUDDENLY, sHE BROKE OFF, fOR THE FAIRY HAD APPEARED,
CAT: "tHAT'S ENOUGH," sHE EXCLAIMED, rAISING HER MAGIC WAND,
-- CURRENT tentacoolTherapy [CTT] commiting everything to memory, and comparing it to the human Cinderella story as Tavros tells it --
-- CURRENT nyanLeijon [CNL] purrs quietly --
CAT: iN A FLASH, cINDER RELLAA APPEARED IN A SPLENDID DRESS, sHINING WITH BEAUTY, aND THE LUSUS AND HER WARDS GAPED AT HER IN AMAZEMENT, aND THE SERVANTS SAID, "cOME WITH US, fAIR MAIDEN, tHE HIGHBLOOD AWAITS YOU AS HIS MATESPRIT, nO MATTER YOUR BLOOD CASTE,"
-- CURRENT neoEcologist [CNE] hush --
-- FUTURE shayanaCapricorn [FSC] is still listening to tav --
CAT: sO, cINDER RELLAA JOYFULLY WENT WITH THEM, aND THE CRUEL LUSUS AND HER TWIN WARDS WERE BRUTALLY CULLED BY THE HIGHBLOOD'S SERVANTS, aND CINDER RELLAA LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER WITH THE HANDSOME HIGHBLOOD,,, aND AS FOR THE SQUEAKBEAST, iT JUST SAID, "sQUEAK,"
CAT: tHE END, }:)
FSC: yaay!
-- CURRENT ectoBiomechanicist [CEB] claps for tavros --
CDP: ♫ cool story bro ♫
-- CURRENT deviousSerpent [CDS] applauds. --
?CG: NOT NORMALLY A FAN OF THAT SHIT BUT YOU DID WELL.
-- FUTURE shayanaCapricorn [FSC] claps --
CEB: yay! bravo!
-- ??? carcinoGenomes [?CG] claps. --
CNE: 4w350m3!