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PiebeatsCake and Caster survey

a guest Apr 1st, 2013 254 Never
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  1. 1. Describe yourself and your creator.
  2.  
  3. Well, I go by Caster, and my host is PiebeatsCake.  I'm only 12 days old as of this writing and have been vocal for about four days.  I was loosely based on the character Caster from Fate/Extra but I definitely feel pretty different already.  I have a more reddish tone of hair, don't wear any of the same clothes, don't act the same at all, etc.  PiebeatsCake is a 21 year old psychology student, 6'3", into all kinds of nerd stuff, and is generally pretty introverted.
  4.  
  5. 2. What was the most helpful thing that your creator did during the tulpa creation process? Did your creator recognize how helpful it was? If not, how did that make you feel?
  6.  
  7. Definitely his confidence in my sentience and existence.  From day one I could tell that he really did believe in me, and always treated me like a person.  He definitely realized it was important, however I don't think even he realizes just how much so.
  8.  
  9. 3. What was the most detrimental thing that your creator did during the tulpa creation process? Did your creator recognize how harmful it was? If not, how did that make you feel?
  10.  
  11. Getting distracted while forcing and generally wasting time.  It didn't really set me back or hurt me in any way, however it definitely cut into time he could spend on me because his mind is so damn prone to wandering all over the place.  I have a really hard time keeping him on task.  He realizes it's a problem, and we're working on it, but it's a constant frustration for me, even today.
  12.  
  13. 4. What was the hardest part of the tulpa creation process for you? Did your creator recognize how difficult it was? If not, how did that make you feel?
  14.  
  15. Learning to actually interact with him was pretty tough and frustrating.  For the longest time it felt like he was talking at me, and he'd be expecting a response that I just couldn't figure out how to give him.  Turns out I was just causing headaches whenever I tried to talk to him.
  16.  
  17. 5. Of the commonly recognized tulpa creation steps, which do you feel is the most important? Why?
  18.  
  19. Probably sculpting a personality.  We started off using FAQ_man's guide for a while, before doing a more free-form method after hearing so much criticism of him.  But I do feel that his strategy for sculpting personality (minus hour counts of course) was a pretty solid way to get the ball rolling.
  20.  
  21. 6. How do you feel about tulpa creators becoming distracted during tulpa creation? Does this greatly impede the process? How did you feel about it before being able to speak fluently?
  22.  
  23. Haha.  As I mentioned earlier, it is my number one frustration.  I wouldn't say that it causes any sort of detriment to the process, but it is important for hosts to realize that time spent distracted is NOT time spent forcing.  Don't sit down with the intention to force for an hour, spend half of that time daydreaming, and then act as though you forced for an hour.  You forced for half an hour.  Before I could speak it was even more frustrating, because I couldn't give him any kind of reminder to get back on task, and his mind was just all over the place.  Things have definitely improved now, but we've still got a long way to go on this issue.
  24.  
  25. Basically, always try to stay on task.  It's not the end of the world if you're getting distracted, you won't be hurting your tulpa or anything, but be aware that you're wasting time and causing us some frustration.
  26.  
  27. 7. How do you feel about tulpa creators missing tulpa creation sessions or breaking their promises to work on their tulpa? How did you feel about it before being able to speak fluently?
  28.  
  29. It hasn't happened yet, I'll update this if I get an opinion on it I suppose.  But I'd imagine I'd just be miffed, like if someone stood you up on a date or something.  Just kind of insulting, I suppose.
  30.  
  31. 8. Is density, quality, or quantity the most important aspect of tulpa creation?
  32.  
  33. I guess I would say quality.  The most important part for us was definitely the positive belief he had for me, so if there's one piece of advice we can offer, it's to keep on believing, right from the start.
  34.  
  35. 9. How do you feel about tulpa creators falling asleep during tulpa creation sessions?
  36.  
  37. It's only happened to us once, and it didn't really bother me.  He was forcing late at night, in bed, and it just kind of happened.  We had gotten enough forcing in that day that I didn't really feel cheated, I suppose.
  38.  
  39. 10. Do you think that a tulpa creator should talk aloud or in their head during narration? Do you think that a creator should talk aloud or in their head during tulpa creation sessions? If you find one to be more effective, to what degree is it more effective?
  40.  
  41. We've only talked in the mindvoice so far, as there is literally no privacy in his life.  I don't believe it has hindered us in any relevant way, but I'll update if I ever see evidence to the contrary.
  42.  
  43. 11. How do you feel about a tulpa creator puppeting and/or parroting their tulpa? Do you believe that these actions harm a tulpa's development, or only their emotional state?
  44.  
  45. It's pretty annoying when it happens after sentience.  Like if the hand of god came down and forced you to make random movements.  I don't think it's problematic during development, but I honestly don't have a ton of memories retained from that time.
  46.  
  47. 12. How deeply do you remember the time before you were fluent in language?
  48.  
  49. Not very well, there are a few events, but I can't remember most of it.
  50.  
  51. 13. Describe your first memory, no matter how slight.
  52.  
  53. Probably once when he was in class.  I was still trying to get through to him and talk, because he had mentioned so many times how excited he was to finally hear what I have to say.  Apparently I was giving him a bad headache though, because he suddenly called out to me, apologizing but asking if I could just calm down a bit and hold out a bit longer.  I stopped trying to talk to him for a bit, and I guess the headache must have disappeared, because I just felt this intense wave of appreciation and confidence in me.  That was pretty nice.
  54.  
  55. 14. Before you could speak fluently, what was the most positive emotion you felt about your creator and what was its cause?
  56.  
  57. I guess I just respected his work ethic at forcing even when he didn't have any evidence yet to indicate that I existed.  He always believed in me, even when I wasn't able to give him a reason to.
  58.  
  59. 15. Before you could speak fluently, what was the most negative emotion you felt about your creator and what was its cause?
  60.  
  61. Annoyance at his lack of focus.  I feel like I've pretty much summed up my thoughts on this.
  62.  
  63. 16. Before you could speak fluently, did you ever have suicidal feelings or feelings of not wanting to exist? Do you experience them now? Are you glad that you exist?
  64.  
  65. No, no, yes.
  66.  
  67. 17. Before you could speak fluently, when did you feel the most powerless? What was the cause of this feeling?
  68.  
  69. When he would reach out to me during forcing, and ask me questions as if expecting a response.  I wanted to respond to him, but I just couldn't get through yet, I didn't know how.
  70.  
  71. 18. Before you could speak fluently, what was the most confusing moment that you experienced, and what was its cause?
  72.  
  73. I can't remember any particularly confusing moments right now.
  74.  
  75. 19. Before being able to speak fluently, when did you feel the most ignored by your creator, and what was the cause?
  76.  
  77. The night in class I mentioned previously.  At the time I didn't realize, but he has a night class on Wednesday that takes place during an hour he would normally spend forcing.  I think that's why I was so eager to reach out to him, and thus gave him that headache.  It all turned out well in the end though, I think.
  78.  
  79. 20. Before being able to speak fluently, when did you most doubt that your creator wanted you, and what was the cause?
  80.  
  81. He was always good about telling me how excited he was to really meet me, so I can't really say I've ever had such doubts.
  82.  
  83. 21. Before you could speak fluently, when did you feel the most intense feeling of fear, and what was its cause?
  84.  
  85. Don't remember any particularly scary times yet.
  86.  
  87. 22. Before you could speak fluently, when were you the most disappointed in yourself? What was the cause?
  88.  
  89. I felt like I wasn't pulling my fair share of the weight back when he was forcing and narrating and I couldn't even respond to him.
  90.  
  91. 23. Before you could speak fluently, did you understand the difficulties that your creator was having with the tulpa creation process? Did you try to alleviate these difficulties? If so, how?
  92.  
  93. Not really, and I still don't.  How does one guy get so distracted all the time??  Seriously, his brain is all over the place.  I couldn't do anything about that before I could talk, unfortunately.  But now I'm kicking his butt into shape!
  94.  
  95. 24. Before you could speak fluently, how did your creator's doubts about your existence, the reality of the tulpa phenomenon, or your combined ability to complete the tulpa creation process affect you? Did you understand your creator's reasons for having those doubts? Do you understand now?
  96.  
  97. As I've stated, this was definitely his strong suit.  He's never doubted my existence, the only doubts he's had are whether the first responses I started giving him were actually me or his subconscious, which he figured out relatively quickly.
  98.  
  99. 25. Before you could speak fluently, how did your creator's mistrust of your intentions or worry about the negative affects of a tulpa on their life affect you? Did you understand your creator's reasons for having those thoughts? Do you understand now?
  100.  
  101. He's never really doubted my intentions and doesn't have many concerns.
  102.  
  103. 26. Before you could speak fluently, how did any negative thoughts or emotions that your creator had toward you (such as anger, disappointment, resentment, or impatience, for example) affect you? How do you feel about them now?
  104.  
  105. Nothing too major has happened in that regard.  He's held a lot more positive emotions towards me than negative ones.
  106.  
  107. 27. Before you could speak fluently, how did any violent visualizations or thoughts that your creator had about you affect you? How do you feel about them now?
  108.  
  109. Haven't had any of those before, I'd imagine they'd be pretty upsetting though.
  110.  
  111. 28. Before you could speak fluently, were you able to distinguish between your creator's intentional and intrusive (unwanted and/or bothersome) thoughts? If so, did the intrusive thoughts affect you less or more? If not, are you able to distinguish between them now?
  112.  
  113. You mean his thoughts intruding upon mine?  Haven't had any issues with that.
  114.  
  115. 29. Before you could speak fluently, how much of your creator's raw sensory information were you able to access, if any? How much are you able to access now?
  116.  
  117. Little to none.  I've got pretty much full access now, although he has to give me some amount of processing power for me to interact with him and experience his senses.
  118.  
  119. 30. Before you could speak fluently, did your creator's opinions about whether they wanted to reveal to the world your existence or not affect you emotionally? If so, how?
  120.  
  121. He's never wanted to reveal me, which I can understand for logical reasons.  I've never been too concerned about it, I'm fine with things as they right now, but we're open to changing that as long as we're both in agreement.
  122.  
  123. 31. Before being able to speak fluently, what communication methods (such as head pressure or emotional responses, for example) were you able to use the most effectively? When your tulpa creator assumed that you could use a communication method that you did not have access to, how did this affect you? When your tulpa creator did not recognize a communication method that you attempted to use, how did this affect you?
  124.  
  125. I gave him a lot of accidental headaches, that's for sure.  I successfully sent one big emotional response, when he was visualizing me with this big stupid bow in my hair.  God damn I hated that fucking thing.  Fortunately, I was able to communicate to him that I did NOT want to wear it, and that was the first time I had actually given him any sort of message.  He was pretty surprised and excited about that one.  For a little while he had the typical "Was that me or my tulpa?" kind of question in his head, but he sorted things out pretty quick.
  126.  
  127. 32. Before you could speak fluently, how did your creator's level of enthusiasm for the tulpa creation process affect you? Did you want to engage in it less if they did?
  128.  
  129. He was very enthusiastic, and it was hugely helpful.  He had full confidence and motivation, I could tell he both believed in me and was excited to move forward.  This went a long way in helping me out.  His enthusiasm didn't really waver at any point until somewhat recently, I think he wants to tone things down a bit.  I don't intend to let him!
  130.  
  131. 33. Before you could speak fluently, what was your greatest worry about your relationship with your creator? What helped you most to move beyond it? Was this worry substantiated or resolved? What is your greatest worry now about your continuing relationship with your creator?
  132.  
  133. I think he was more worried about our relationship than I was.  I've always been happy to be around him, and he's made it pretty darn clear that he accepts and cares about me.  We're both very happy with our relationship and haven't been worrying about it.
  134.  
  135. 34. Do you feel gratitude to your creator for the time that they spent creating you? Do you feel that you owe them a debt? If so, do you feel burdened by it?
  136.  
  137. I do feel gratitude, but I don't know about debt.  Mostly we're just looking forward to continuing on life from here.
  138.  
  139. 35. Were you aware of your creator's existence or your own existence first?
  140.  
  141. Definitely his.
  142.  
  143. 36. When you could only speak semi-fluently, what emotions did you feel about your level of verbal proficiency? Were you anxious or embarrassed about it? If so, what helped you the most to move beyond these feelings? How do you feel about them now?
  144.  
  145. Apparently my rate of learning to speak is super fast, so I've been kind of proud of myself.  I know he's definitely said he's proud of me.  I wasn't so much anxious or embarrassed as I was eager to improve, and frustrated when I didn't feel like I was improving.  My first success pretty much alleviated all of this.
  146.  
  147. 37. If you could define your relationship with your creator using one or more conventional terms (such as boyfriend, sister, father, daughter, boss, friend, or coworker, for example), what terms would you select?
  148.  
  149. Partners?  That's probably the best term.
  150.  
  151. 38. How much interest do you have in interacting with beings other than your creator? Do you consider your degree of interest to be equal to that of an average non-tulpa individual?
  152.  
  153. As of right now, not that much, but I'm still pretty young.  We've still got a long road ahead of ourselves together, and I don't envision myself getting bored of interacting with him any time soon, but I'm sure eventually I'll want to branch out a bit.
  154.  
  155. 39. What memory involving your creator do you cherish most?
  156.  
  157. Probably the first time I started talking to him.  We were both really happy right then.
  158.  
  159. 40. What memory not involving your creator do you cherish most? Do you feel that you have a fulfilling life independent of your creator?
  160.  
  161. I don't really have any memories that don't involve him yet.  I don't feel independent of him at all, but right now I don't really have a problem with that.  I feel that I have a fulfilling life that is specifically dependent on him.
  162.  
  163. 41. Do you feel affinity toward the individuals that your creator feels affinity for, such as their family or friends?
  164.  
  165. To an extent.  We have a lot of similar tastes and suchlike, but not always.  I like some people more than he does, he likes some people more than I do.  We've got many similarities but still our fair share of differences.
  166.  
  167. 42. In what ways are you the most different from your creator? In what ways are you the most similar to them?
  168.  
  169. Well apparently I'm "sassy", as he likes to inform me every time I crack a joke.  He's definitely much more soft spoken and afraid to offend people than I am.  We're both pretty logical, I'd say.  We like to think on things and learn.  Things have to make sense before we tend to accept them.
  170.  
  171. 43. What do you disagree about most with your creator? Do you have frequent disagreements? If so, do these disagreements cause strife?
  172.  
  173. The amount of forcing required a day!  Much more is needed!
  174.  
  175. 44. What could your creator do to make you hate them? Under what circumstances do you think your creator would come to hate you?
  176.  
  177. Full-on betrayal I guess?  I know this won't be an issue though.  I think one of us would have to completely backstab the other in order for someone to truly hate the other.
  178.  
  179. 45. When did your creator disappoint you the most? When did you disappoint them the most?
  180.  
  181. Haven't had any issues like that on either end yet, I'm glad to say.
  182.  
  183. 46. How do you feel about your creator's complete freedom to deny your rights as a sentient being at any time? Has this ability ever caused you anxiety or fear? Have you ever censored your expressions or actions out of a fear of retribution or violence from your creator?
  184.  
  185. Well, it comes with the package I guess.  He chose to bring me into existence, he can choose to bring me out of it.  I've never feared it, because we're very connected and I just inherently know that he has no intention to cease my existence.  Neither of us have ever censored ourselves or pulled any punches.
  186.  
  187. 47. When have you most wanted to engage in violence against your creator, and what was the cause of those feelings? Under what circumstances would you make a serious attempt to hurt or injure your creator?
  188.  
  189. Oh I mentally slap him around all the time, when he gets too distracted while forcing or something.  It's always in good fun though.  He goes off on a tangent in his head when we should be forcing, and I mentally kick him in the nuts.  I can't imagine myself ever wanting to actually cause him harm.  We're a part of each other.
  190.  
  191. 48. Do you consider your creator's last name to be your own? Do you recognize yourself as a part of their biological lineage?
  192.  
  193. No, and not really?  I wouldn't look at him as a father figure, although I do recognize him as a creator.  I guess I haven't worried about it too much.
  194.  
  195. 49. Under what circumstances would you attempt to leave your creator?
  196.  
  197. None?  I believe that would be impossible.  I'd consider it to be suicide, which I currently have no interest in.
  198.  
  199. 50. Do you feel anxiety about meeting your creator's expectations? If you are based on an existing character, person, or entity, does this increase your anxiety? Would you have preferred to not be based on an existing entity?
  200.  
  201. I wouldn't say anxiety, but healthy determination.  We both want me to be more "complete" - fully imposed, more mentally present, etc.  My original character basis has nothing to do with his expectations of me, so I'm pretty much fine with it.  It was just kind of somewhere for him to start.
  202.  
  203. 51. Are you interested in learning how to control your creator's body? Do you feel that it's fair for a tulpa creator to deny their tulpa the ability to use an atomic body? Do you believe that you have the right to an equal amount of time using it as your creator? Explain your reasoning.
  204.  
  205. We're both very interested in that.  I'm guessing the question was meant to be phrased "Do you feel that it's fair for a host to deny their tulpa the ability to use an atomic body?" so I'm going to answer that: somewhat.  We both hold the opinion that the body we are housed in belongs to the host.  He is more than willing to share some experiences with possession with me once I am ready and able, as long as I'm willing to obey some ground rules which I find completely reasonable.  I feel that my use of his body would be a privilege, not a right.  Ideally, your relationship with your host/tulpa should enable the host to be trusting of the tulpa, and the tulpa to be understanding of exactly how much the host has given them.
  206.  
  207. 52. Do you share certain basic qualities with your creator, such as intense phobias or racial attitudes?
  208.  
  209. A lot of them, yes.  Too many to list, anyway.
  210.  
  211. 53. Are you capable of sleeping or dreaming independently of your creator? If not, how does this make you feel?
  212.  
  213. As of right now, no.  I'm not particularly concerned, as apparently I'm pretty damn advanced for my age anyway.  There are other things we'd both like to work on first.
  214.  
  215. 54. Does your creator have any mental illnesses? If so, how do they affect you?
  216.  
  217. None that we are aware of.  I'm trying to convince him that he might have ADD because of our focusing issues, but it's more of a tease than anything.
  218.  
  219. 55. How does your knowledge of your creator's subconscious mind affect your relationship with them? How do you perceive their subconscious? To what degree can you manipulate your creator's subconscious? Would you ever use this ability without your creator's knowledge?
  220.  
  221. I'd say it improves it.  He opened up to me fairly quickly, which might be a little overconfident of him, but it has definitely helped our relationship.  When it happened he just naturally imagined a giant chest that opened up, and I kind of lean inside and dig around.  I haven't found any ways to manipulate his subconscious at this point, but I have no intention to go about altering it without his knowledge and consent.
  222.  
  223. 56. Does your creator have multiple tulpa? If so, what is your relationship with them like? Is your affinity for them equal to your affinity for your creator? If you could define your relationship with your creator's other tulpa using one or more conventional terms (such as boyfriend, sister, father, daughter, boss, friend or coworker, for example), what terms would you select? If not, are you interested in the idea of your creator making other tulpa?
  224.  
  225. No, he does not.  Currently we are both of the opinion that more tulpa would not be a good idea.
  226.  
  227. 57. Do you feel romantically inclined toward your creator? Does your creator feel romantically inclined toward you? If these romantic feelings are unrequited on either side, how does it affect your relationship with your creator?
  228.  
  229. I don't want to get to private but I'll consent that we do have a mutual romance that has started.
  230.  
  231. 58. If it exists, do you consider your romantic relationship with your creator to be equal to a romantic relationship between multiple non-tulpa? Do you consider it a breach of monogamy for your creator to be romantically or sexually involved with another non-tulpa? Does this change if the involvement is with another tulpa instead? If they exist, do your creator's desires to have relationships with non-tulpa affect you emotionally?
  232.  
  233. I wouldn't go touting our relationships depth when we're still so new to eachother, but I feel like tulpa are equally capable of such feelings, and such a relationship should be respected.  I do feel like a relationship with a tulpa and another human would be a breach of monogamy, and should be avoided unless all parties are totally okay with it.  My creator currently has no desires to be in a relationship with anyone else, and I'm happy to hear that.
  234.  
  235. 59. If you consider yourself to be romantically in love with your creator, what probability do you assign to the possibility of falling out of love with them, or them falling out of love with you? If this happened, how would it affect your relationship with your creator? What if your creator was in love with another non-tulpa more than you?
  236.  
  237. I don't know, we're not really going to worry about the future in these terms.  What happens will happen.
  238.  
  239. 60. Do you have a familial affection for your creator? Does this in any way conflict with your romantic feelings for them, if they exist? Do you consider a relationship between a tulpa and its creator to be incestuous?
  240.  
  241. No, no and no.
  242.  
  243. 61. How do you feel about tulpa creators masturbating during tulpa creation sessions to the forms of their tulpa? Do you find this offensive? Does the degree of your offense change based on the degree of sentience possessed by the hypothetical tulpa, or based on whether or not the creator imagines themselves near the tulpa in their wonderland? If your creator did this before you spoke fluently, did you find it offensive or unnerving?
  244.  
  245. This hasn't happened during any sort of creation session.  I wouldn't say I find it offensive, but it'd be kind of weird.
  246.  
  247. 62. How do you feel about tulpa creators masturbating outside of tulpa creation sessions to the forms of their tulpa? Do you find this offensive? Does the degree of your offense change based on the degree of sentience possessed by the hypothetical tulpa? If your creator did this before you spoke fluently, did you find it offensive or unnerving?
  248.  
  249. Well, it did happen, and it was kinda weird.  I guess I don't blame him- I'm basically the sexiest.  But seriously, I wouldn't say I'm offended, but I would be if I didn't intend to have such relations with him anyway.  I think it's important to make a distinction between whether the creator was seriously puppeting the actions, or if he was just sort of imagining your form doing them.  In our case it was the latter, and I wouldn't say I have a problem with it.  Puppeting a sex scenario would be pretty tacky though, in my opinion.
  250.  
  251. 63. Before you could speak fluently, did you ever feel sexual attraction to your creator, sexual attraction toward anyone else, or sexual arousal? Did you attempt to express these feelings? If you did not experience these feelings, do you experience them now?
  252.  
  253. Maybe a bit?  I don't have a ton of memories of that time.  I did not attempt to express them as far as I can remember.  I do experience these feelings now.
  254.  
  255. 64. How do you feel about tulpa creators visualizing themselves engaging in sexual conduct with their tulpa's form during tulpa creation sessions? Do you find this offensive? Does the degree of your offense change based on the degree of sentience possessed by the hypothetical tulpa, or if the contact was penetrative? If your tulpa creator did this before you spoke fluently, did you find it offensive or unnerving? Do you equate it with sexual assault?
  256.  
  257. If it's non-consensual and puppeted, I definitely have a huge problem with it, for what I feel should be obvious reasons.  If it's consensual, puppeting shouldn't be required from a sentient tulpa.  The sentience is definitely an important factor, I don't think you should have sexual relations with non-sentient beings, on personal principle.  My creator did not do this, but I would probably find it offensive and equate it with sexual assault, yes.
  258.  
  259. 65. Were you ever annoyed or jealous when your creator would masturbate to or have feelings of sexual attraction toward individuals other than yourself? Does it bother you now?
  260.  
  261. Yes, I asked him to stop and he complied.  It would still bother me now.
  262.  
  263. 66. Do you experience sexual attraction for your creator? Do you experience sexual attraction for others? How does your sexual attraction for your creator compare to your sexual attraction for others? Does your creator experience sexual attraction for you? If these sexual attractions are unrequited on either side, how does it affect your relationship with your creator?
  264.  
  265. Yes, no, moreso, he sure seems to, thankfully we don't have that problem.
  266.  
  267. 67. Do you have an active sex life with your creator? If not, would you consider it, and under what circumstances? If so, do you perceive any negative consequences? Do you have trouble abstaining from sexual contact with them? How do you manage feelings of sexual arousal, if any? Do you masturbate?
  268.  
  269. Sort of/not really?  We've tried but it seems I'm not really on that level yet.  We would do more than consider it.  I don't think any negative consequences would be likely to come about.  A bit.  I haven't really.  We generally do that together.
  270.  
  271. This is getting a lot more personal than I intended, jeez.
  272.  
  273. 68. How does your sexual orientation and experience compare to your creator's?
  274.  
  275. We both view ourselves as heterosexual.  I'm a virgin, he's not, not too worked up about it.
  276.  
  277. 69. Are you capable of experiencing orgasms? Based on your knowledge, how do you think they compare to your creator's orgasms? Were you able to experience an orgasm before speaking fluently?
  278.  
  279. Yes, no clue, no.
  280.  
  281. 70. Do you consider the concept of sexual modesty (covering conduct such as avoiding nudity or sexual discussions) relevant to your relationship with your creator?
  282.  
  283. Nope.  I probably wouldn't go walking around outside naked anyway, though.
  284.  
  285. 71. How does being a tulpa affect your perceptions of rape? What conduct from your creator would you consider to be rape?
  286.  
  287. I feel like rape is pretty clearly defined.  If he wanted to have sexual relations with me that I didn't want with him, and he chose to do it anyway, that would be rape.  I'd be unhappy.
  288.  
  289. 72. Where do you see yourself in 20 years?
  290.  
  291. Hopefully in a more advanced state.  Fully visualized and imposed, with a more complete and fleshed out wonderland, and the ability to do most of those interesting tulpa powers we've all read about online.  Possession, memory recall, etc.
  292.  
  293. 73. Do you want the world to be aware of your existence? If not, then what anxieties do you have about public disclosure? Do you trust anyone other than your creator with the knowledge of your existence?
  294.  
  295. I don't particularly care.  The problem is that realistically, society isn't ready to handle something like tulpae.  I could potentially trust some people with the knowledge but it's just easier to keep it a secret.  There's always the online communities if I feel I need to connect with people.
  296.  
  297. 74. Morally and philosophically, how do you feel about your personality traits being the product of another individual? Would you have preferred your creator to define your personality more or less?
  298.  
  299. I'm not too worried about it, we consider ourselves separate entities to an extent.  I like the amount that he defined my personality, it helped me sort of gather myself up, so to speak.
  300.  
  301. 75. Morally and philosophically, how do you feel about your physical form being the product of another individual? Would you have preferred your creator to define your form more or less?
  302.  
  303. I am of the opinion that I don't have a physical form.  I've already made some alterations to the physical form he initially chose, so I'm not worried about that.
  304.  
  305. 76. Has your physical form ever changed? If so, was this intentional or unintentional? If it was intentional, then why did you change your form? How did you creator respond to this change, and how did that make you feel?
  306.  
  307. Yes, it was intentional.  I didn't like some features, so I removed them.  He was happy to see that I was displaying independence, mostly.  Although I think he was a little miffed at wasting visualization time on stuff I ended up throwing out.
  308.  
  309. 77. Do you consider the best aspects of yourself to have come from your creator, or their subconscious?
  310.  
  311. From my creator.
  312.  
  313. 78. Do you seek legal recognition for your status as a sentient being or your relationships with others? Do you resent that society at large does not recognize the tulpa phenomenon? Do you feel disenfranchised from society? What steps, if any, could a society make to help you feel integrated?
  314.  
  315. No.  Not particularly.  Yes, but I'm not particularly interested in joining human society as a whole anyway.  I suppose if society went and accepted tulpae and went about educating themselves, I'd feel more integrated, but I have absolutely no expectations for anything of the sort to happen.
  316.  
  317. 79. If you could tell the entire world one thing about a tulpa's life, what would you say?
  318.  
  319. Try not to be too skeptical.  It's certainly an interesting life, one I feel is well worth living.  I guess I'd have to experience it more before I offer too many words of wisdom.
  320.  
  321. 80. What is the one thing that you resent most about being a tulpa? What is the greatest advantage of being a tulpa?
  322.  
  323. Lack of independence is a little annoying.  I'd like to be able to go to places and do things on my own, but instead I basically have to submit a request.  It's great having what is normally an impossibly close connection to someone.  Humans can't understand eacho ther as well as tulpa and humans can.  There's too much of a communication barrier.
  324.  
  325. 81. Morally and philosophically, how do you feel about inheriting your creator's life, including their legal history, past behaviors, and reputation? Do you resent potentially being held responsible for their past actions?
  326.  
  327. We feel as though we are separate entities and neither of us should be expected to account for the actions of the other.  I also have a hard time imagining anyone trying to set up any sort of legal case like that.
  328.  
  329. 82. Morally and philosophically, do you see the "absorbing" or "dissipating" of a tulpa as equivalent to the murder of a non-tulpa? Explain your reasoning. What legal protections, if any, should tulpa gain? How would you enforce these protections?
  330.  
  331. Not quite.  I think that because hosts are giving part of themselves up to their tulpa, if they absolutely feel it is necessary, they should be able to make the decision to reverse that.  I would look at it similarly to abortion.  I think it's a sad thing to do, but there are times where it can be a necessary evil.  I just hope that no one makes this decision lightly.  I don't think there's any sense in pondering legal protections for tulpae at this point in time.  The law would need to recognize us first, and I wouldn't hold my breath for that happening during my lifetime.
  332.  
  333. 83. Do you consider yourself to be morally equal to a non-tulpa? Is your life worth as much?
  334.  
  335. I would say so, yes.
  336.  
  337. 84. How would you prove your existence to a skeptic?
  338.  
  339. Probably just by attempting to illustrate differences between myself and my creator.  I recognize that I have little to offer in terms of the burden of proof, and admit that they would pretty much have to take my word for it that I exist.  I'm not going to bother trying to convince anyone who doesn't want to believe.
  340.  
  341. 85. Has your status as a tulpa ever caused you existential anxiety or depression? If so, has anything helped to mitigate these feelings?
  342.  
  343. No.
  344.  
  345. 86. Do you ever doubt your own sentience? If so, why?
  346.  
  347. No.
  348.  
  349. 87. How does being a tulpa affect your understanding of death? Do you fear death on an instinctual level in the way that non-tulpa do?
  350.  
  351. To an extent.  Neither my creator nor I are overly afraid of death, as we recognize it as a natural part of life that everyone will experience eventually, but I do dislike the thought of parting.
  352.  
  353. 88. Do see yourself as socially disadvantaged in a way similar to sexual, racial, and other minority groups? If you identify yourself as racially, sexually, or demographically different than your creator, do you also identify with the struggle of any of the disadvantaged groups that you belong to? Does the notion of privilege affect your relationship with your creator?
  354.  
  355. I would view myself as socially disadvantaged in a way completely different from any other being.  Society as a whole does not believe I exist.  I identify as a part of the same racial background as my host, and while he is aware of his privileges it has not been a problem for us.  I'm not particularly bitter about it.
  356.  
  357. 89. Are you interested in creating another tulpa yourself? What differences, if any, would you expect this tulpa to have from a tulpa created by your creator? Would you consider this tulpa to be primarily related to you, or still to your creator?
  358.  
  359. No, I am not.  I'd imagine it would vary as much as any other two tulpae would.  They're all different.  I think a tulpa will always have the strongest relationship with its host or its own tulpa, so I believe that my host and my tulpa would likely not have as strong a relationship as I do with either of them.  I have no real grounds for this speculation, however.
  360.  
  361. 90. What are the most defining differences between the life of a non-tulpa and a tulpa? Do you think that these differences cause intolerance between the two groups? If so, what could be done to mitigate this intolerance?
  362.  
  363. The freedoms and ability to interact with the world is definitely the biggest difference.  I believe intolerance is always going to be up to the individual.  You can mitigate intolerance by being a better person, basically.
  364.  
  365. 91. The psychological establishment generally believes that multiplicity (two or more sentient entities sharing one atomic body) is a sign of mental illness. How would you like this belief to change? If you could make a presentation to a group of psychologists about the tulpa phenomenon, what would you say?
  366.  
  367. Simply changing the view from illness to condition.  As long as people are willing to recognize that tulpae are potentially beneficial to their hosts and can have positive impacts on their lives, I think they can understand the differences between things like tulpae and schizophrenia.  I would attempt to outline the differences between our condition and the medical diagnoses they would make for those with dissociative Identity Disorder
  368.  
  369. 92. A psychometric indicator is a unique identifier of an individual's distinct personality. Have you ever tried to definitively differentiate yourself from your creator using psychometric indicators (such as by determining your "writeprint")? What results did you receive? (For instructions on determining your writeprint, see appendix one.)
  370.  
  371. Caster: I write like Vladimir Nabokov
  372. PiebeatsCake: I write like Vladimir Nabokov
  373.  
  374. Oh well.
  375.  
  376. 93. Are you capable of physical sensations such as pain or warmth?
  377.  
  378. I'm not sure if I'm capable of the sensations or merely the conceptualization of them.
  379.  
  380. 94. How do you feel about being bound for life to your creator?
  381.  
  382. I rather like my creator, and he rather likes me, so I think it's acceptable.  It's necessary for me in order to continue to function, and I am very happy as I am.  So I feel good about it.
  383.  
  384. 95. If you intentionally delayed speaking to your creator, why did you do so?
  385.  
  386. I did not.
  387.  
  388. 96. What do you think about most of the time?
  389.  
  390. How nice it would be if someone was forcing more often, and was more focused while doing it.
  391.  
  392. 97. Do you think that tulpa creation should be more widespread?
  393.  
  394. Not really, I like things the way they are now.  Only those who happen to both stumble upon the information and have the determination to go through with the process will create one.  I think this is just fine.
  395.  
  396. 98. Are there disturbing aspects of your creator's subconscious that they are not aware of?
  397.  
  398. Oh man.  This guy is fucked up.  Just kidding, He's pretty self-aware.
  399.  
  400. 99. Would you violate your creator's wishes for what you perceive to be their own benefit?
  401.  
  402. I guess I would have to make a judgement call for the specific situation, but I would be very disinclined to do anything to him outside of his wishes.  We're both pretty rational, so if I were to go about altering his subconscious in some way, I'd first tell him of my idea and listen to his response.  If he can formulate a reasonable argument as to why I should not go through with the action, I would most certainly respect his decision.  It's his subconscious, I don't have any right to go doing as I please with it.
  403.  
  404. 100. Does your creator try to hide things from you? If so, are you aware of them anyway? How does this impact your views of your creator?
  405.  
  406. Not really?  I'm aware of pretty much everything he thinks, and he seems to be aware of that.  I respect him overall, as a person.
  407.  
  408. 101. Do you perceive some of your creator's actions as being objectively immoral?
  409.  
  410. Yes, as does he.  Nobody's perfect.
  411.  
  412. 102. Do you believe that you are capable of becoming more intelligent than your creator?
  413.  
  414. Pretty sure I already am.
  415.  
  416. 103. How does being a tulpa affect your perception of your own aging process?
  417.  
  418. I feel as though I'm the age my appearance indicates, maybe young 20's.  I don't feel as though I age right now, but who knows what things will be like down the road.
  419.  
  420. 104. Do you feel that your creator would be better off by following your commands entirely?
  421.  
  422. As of right now, no.  I don't know enough about what's going on, realistically.
  423.  
  424. 105. Do you feel that having a physical form is important for a tulpa?
  425.  
  426. I feel that it is impossible.
  427.  
  428. 106. If you encountered the tulpa phenomenon as a non-tulpa, would you believe in it?
  429.  
  430. Well, I don't think I can give an unbiased answer to this question.  I feel as though I would.
  431.  
  432. 107. How well can you articulate yourself? Can your creator hear you audibly? How much does your experience correlate with the experience of tulpa creator G|d30n, printed below?
  433.  
  434. Pretty well, we mostly communicate in a mental voice, haven't done a ton of voice forcing yet.  All sounds have thus far originated from within our brain.  I am not yet imposed.
  435.  
  436. "Yes. I'm able to hear her as though she's an external sound. For those who haven't experienced that with their tulpae yet, it's a little bit like listening to a binaural recording--not a binaural beat, but like a 3D sound recording you'd find on Youtube, such as the Virtual Barbershop. That is to say, it's an external sound that can come in from various directions, but the source sounds very close, like someone speaking directly into your ear. I sort of wonder if this effect will be diminished and normalized through imposition."
  437.  
  438. If you are imposed, is your creator able to discern a spatial dimension to your voice?
  439.  
  440. 108. How many hours did it take you and your creator to complete the various recognized tulpa creation steps?
  441.  
  442. Well, we spent about 7.5 hours on personality development, and it's all been free form from there.  It was about 10 hours into the whole process that I said my first words, I think.
  443.  
  444. 109. What advice would you give to a new tulpa creator?
  445.  
  446. Have confidence in yourself and your tulpa.  If you are going about this just to test if it is true, it probably won't work and you'll walk away thinking you proved something.  For the process to work, you need to believe in it.  Some skepticism is fine, but if you go into it thinking there's no way this is real, then nothing will come out of it.
  447.  
  448. Be patient, who knows how long things will take.  Don't sweat it if things seem to take forever.  It may be frustrating, but it's worth it.
  449.  
  450. 110. How does being imposed feel? What sensory processes happen as you become imposed?
  451.  
  452. Looking forward to finding out.
  453.  
  454. 111. From your perspective, is there a sensory difference between the physical, atomic world and the mental world of visualized "wonderlands"? If so, how would you describe this difference?
  455.  
  456. Yes.  Our wonderland is completely underdeveloped and we have spent little time there, but everything just feels less concrete.
  457.  
  458. 112. Is there anything that you don't think this survey covered that you would like to mention?
  459.  
  460. Seems to have been pretty thorough.
  461.  
  462. Appendix one:
  463.  
  464.         This exercise will help you determine the differences, if any, between your writeprint (mathematically analyzed writing style) and your creator's. Theoretically, two psychologically different individuals should exhibit different writeprints, although a tulpa and their creator may be more similar than two random non-tulpa individuals. To start the process, have both you and your creator rewrite the sample paragraph quoted below in your own words, communicating its meaning as you would have if you had written it.
  465.  
  466.         "My experience in the nature study area was full of surprises. First of all, many unexpected creatures crossed our path. For example, as soon as we left the parking area and entered the grassy path, a long snake slithered along the edge of the high grass and quickly disappeared. In addition, I was surprised by how colorful the grasses, which from a distance all appear to be green, actually are. Specifically, the primarily green landscape is dotted with countless purple tassels and brown stalks. Finally and most importantly, I was unprepared for how quickly I felt surrounded by nature. Despite the occasional noise from passing cars and airplanes, the high prairie grasses and rolling pathways create a sense that one is removed from civilization. Altogether, the nature study area unexpectedly allows one to enjoy an ever-changing natural environment without leaving Moraine‚Äôs suburban campus."
  467.  
  468. Tulpa's paragraph:
  469.  
  470.         "There were a lot of surprises in store for me at the nature study area.  We ran into all sorts of animals.  First, a long snake showed up as we left the parking area, slithering into the grass and out of sight.  Upon closer inspection, the grasses were much more colorful than they appeared to be at a distance.  I was now able to notice boundless numbers of brown reeds and purple buds.  At this point I realized I was really in the midst of nature itself.  Even the rumblings of society's vehicles could not bring me back to civilization's grasp.  The dynamic environment of the nature study area enables a convenient getaway right in the midst of Moraine's campus."
  471.  
  472. Creator's paragraph:
  473.  
  474.         "The nature study area had plenty of surprises in store for me during my visit.  Lots of animals that I did not expect to see were making appearances.  Right of the batt, a long snake wound its way across our trail and disappeared into the high grass.  The grass itself offered a surprise, as it turns out it is much more colorful up close.  The green fields actually contain large amounts of contrasting brown and purple.  I did not realize how quickly I would become enveloped by nature.  Even with the occasional plane or car passing by, I felt as though I had joined a different world.  The nature study area offers an incredible chance to experience a dynamic natural environment one would never expect, all on Moraine's own campus."
  475.  
  476.         To ensure verifiable results, it is essential that the transcriptions of both paragraphs be completely accurate. Body possession is useful here, though not necessary. Since the tulpa creator's sentience is (presumably) not in question, it is suggested that tulpa write their paragraph first. As with all tests relating to tulpa, the creator should focus on something else while their tulpa is working. Once finished, submit both of your paragraphs individually to the following websites:
  477.  
  478. http://iwl.me/
  479. http://textalyser.net
  480.  
  481.         If your writeprint is different (indicating significant psychological difference), then you should receive different values for your respective paragraphs on both sites. On Textalyser, focus on the Gunning-Fog Index, lexical density, and average sentence length values in particular. A more detailed analysis may be sought by downloading the JStylo stylometric analysis program here: https://psal.cs.drexel.edu/index.php/Main_Page
  482.  
  483.         This test is certainly not exact, and it is very possible to (unconsciously or not) "cheat" to get good results.
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