BadWolf11/12/2019
Yea we will see
Dunno if she will even want to talk to me
I get scary when I’m mad
Not sure how scary I got tonight

Aovnick11/12/2019
she will
well
not future tense
she IS willing
trust me
believe what i'm telling you SHE IS NOT out of your reach whatsoever nor do you have to fight for it
man I have to like get her to NOT talk to people
rofl

BadWolf11/12/2019
What
But she’s never around

Aovnick11/12/2019
Dm her
she's scared to come around
she had already felt like people hated her
that wasn't new
or something you instigated with your actions
she's always felt that about hawthorne

BadWolf11/12/2019
People don’t though

Aovnick11/12/2019
I mean... you said this is fighting.
can you blame her for feeling like her bias was validated?

BadWolf11/12/2019
Fighting isn’t hating
People who are madly in love with each other have fights

Aovnick11/12/2019
I mean i can agree but can you see why that would be taken that way?

BadWolf11/12/2019
I could if I didn’t also say that it happens and we work through it
I can and I can’t understand
Idk if that makes sense
Like I get it but it’s also frustrating because I’m not being fully heard

Aovnick11/12/2019
As I said. It comes down to validating how she felt. Telling someone "Everyone fights. Loved ones fight." Is not the same as saying "Yeah I can see why you feel like people hate you, we're fighting but that doesn't mean I hate you"
does that make sense?
I mean you didn't stop to tell her that though. You said it yourself your empahty stopped working there
that cut her deep because it meant she knew you didn't want to validate how she felt
just how you felt
That's where the breakdown happens
So let me give you an example.

Wolf I feel like you were unfair to jen.

BadWolf11/12/2019
Yea I shouldn’t have worded it like that

Aovnick11/12/2019
What is your gut telling you to say to me?

BadWolf11/12/2019
I’m sorry
That’s not what I meant and I could have and should have said it differently
What I said was ultimately made worse by my anger

Aovnick11/12/2019
So you're only halfway there
I was using it as a hypothetical
this is a common thing people miss but telling me
"Yeah I can see why things felt unfair to jen for you. That's not what I meant and i'm sorry..... etc etc."
it's a way of pointing at them first, as a way to take resonposibility and saying "Youre interpretation is just as valid as the one i'm about to explain which is my own"
i'm not trying to lecture you here
but it probably is
bweh
i just wanna help you
i'm sorry if i gave advice unprovoked

BadWolf11/12/2019
When I’m not a ball of anger in fairly good at communicating
So I appreciate it but I also think I can handle that part of it

Aovnick11/12/2019
okay cool
Then consider that a me doing a will smith meme at you and going this is what makes jen feel heard.
that's all

BadWolf11/12/2019
Shit also. Gonna change topic before I forget. I told you about dims server? Did I get drunk and tell a bunch of people??

Aovnick11/12/2019
no
Dim told me himself

BadWolf11/12/2019
Ohhhh

Aovnick11/12/2019
I have... a lot to say on the subject

BadWolf11/12/2019
He told you he approached me?

Aovnick11/12/2019
yes

BadWolf11/12/2019
Oh?
A lot to say?

Aovnick11/12/2019
yes
we can get into that later but personallyI feel you should be.... very wary to take a staff position there
I can go into that later but
that is my personal feeling on the matter. Then compounded by Jen pointing out that you're staff on hawthorne, you're going through law scool
school
you'r ein a new relationship which also has it's OWN host of mental and emotional challenges

BadWolf11/12/2019
I’m not in law school

Aovnick11/12/2019
erm not law school but

BadWolf11/12/2019
Lol I’m a lawyer but yes yes

Aovnick11/12/2019
yeah you know what I mean
point is
you got so much you feel responsible for
and want to do right and good by it
I do not agree with how that server is trying to be run
for many reasons that I can back up with quite a bit of evidence
rofl
either way
that's where i'm at with it
that's my surface level summary of it
ROFL

BadWolf11/12/2019
Yea I took a staff position there tho
We will see if I keep it
I mostly wanna see how it goes during the beta and then decide from there

Aovnick11/12/2019
we can talk about it at length later
you gotta do a sleepies girl
is there anything I can do to help you sleep easier right now

BadWolf11/12/2019
Yea I’ll try

Aovnick11/12/2019
like remind you that i'm fine with you
you're fine

BadWolf11/12/2019
Thank you

Aovnick11/12/2019
and seriously it will be okay