Pain

😞
Im sorry
Please
😞
Kira • 2:20 PM
I want to say less because you say less but I can't hold it in
That's the difference between us
I care more and have more to say
But you make it look like you don't really care in some way
So I will say less
You stopped talking to me for some reason long ago
Now you have put me in a depression that I cannot climb out of
2:21 PM
Kira Murcia (kiramurcia6@gmail.com)
I dont say less baby I say the same amount
Im sorry im doing this to you 😞
I never ever meant for you to be put into this
I meant to make you happy but I will fix everything that I have done
And make things better for you
Kira • 2:23 PM
The only way you can fix this is give me love
I don't know why you stopped giving me love
2:23 PM
Kira Murcia (kiramurcia6@gmail.com)
I never ever stopped giving you love and I never will
Kira • 2:24 PM
You did long ago
You don't talk to me about your things anymore you just give me short responses of what I say or you talk about what your mom is doing or we just argue
You don't speak to me anymore as love should grant
You made it look like you're bored of me you made it look like you're used to me
Now, you will either cry or you will deny what I said
If we are meant to be don't modify your true self
I fell in love with the Kira that God revealed to me and granted me
Not a wall
2:27 PM
Kira Murcia (kiramurcia6@gmail.com)
I*m just saying I feel like I didnt change and im sorry you feel like I talk less but I really dont. I love hearing the things you tell me cause everything you tell me is very interesting. I will never ever be bored of you baby you dont need to worry about that cause everything you do entertains me and you always will entertain me no matter what you do. I will never ever be bored of you. We are meant to be and I will never ever modify myself. That Kira you fell in love with is still me. It makes me sad when you say " That Kira "
It makes me feel like youre not in love with Me
Kira • 2:28 PM
But you're not in love with me anymore
When I gave you like five paragraphs over the iPod or Instagram
Or long emails
You gave me the same amount
But now you just summarize and narrow down your words and leave huge ditches between them
It makes it look like you're too tired to deal with my bs
2:30 PM
Kira Murcia (kiramurcia6@gmail.com)
I will try to fix everything baby. I will talk to you more I will no longer summarize things I will give you full responses I will no longer eave ditches I will make sure I dont leave anything out while being carefull about what I say cause I dont want to hurt you like I have been doing
Kira • 2:32 PM
No don't change anything
Because I'm gonna be talking less
2:33 PM
Kira Murcia (kiramurcia6@gmail.com)
Im not going to change anything
Im just simply slacking off now so Im going to bring everything backto the way it was
Kira • 2:33 PM
See even you admit it and that breaks my heart
2:34 PM
Kira Murcia (kiramurcia6@gmail.com)
You will not talk less cause then thats going to destroy me just as me talking less destroys you
So please dont change anything
Kira • 2:34 PM
I don't believe you love me
2:34 PM
Kira Murcia (kiramurcia6@gmail.com)
Well I do and you need to believe that
If Ididnt love you I would let you change everything
vut im not
Kira • 2:35 PM
No you keep changing what you said
2:35 PM
Kira Murcia (kiramurcia6@gmail.com)
Cause I fell in love with who you are not who you want to be
Kira • 2:35 PM
You say you do and don't in what I say
And finally you admit it
You broke my heart just now
Good luck fixing it
"I will try to fix everything baby. I will talk to you more I will no longer summarize things I will give you full responses I will no longer eave ditches I will make sure I dont leave anything out while being carefull about what I say cause I dont want to hurt you like I have been doing"
And you said you were just slacking off
Why would you ever slack off on me - that shows you don't care
You have thrown off my emotions to a new level of hurt
2:37 PM
Kira Murcia (kiramurcia6@gmail.com)
No I told you why I slacked off
I said I have been getting worried about myself
My health
And now something else
When Im worried about things I talk less
I dont know why
thats just who I am
Kira • 2:38 PM
I told you that if you would just listen to me a lot would be solved
But you kept going in your own way which isn't mine
Thank you for crumbling my heart
2:39 PM
Kira Murcia (kiramurcia6@gmail.com)
I do listen to you but you will just say that I dont so I dont know why I say things anymore cause you will always say the opposite
😢
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Kira • 2:39 PM
Great here comes the crying
2:39 PM
Kira Murcia (kiramurcia6@gmail.com)
😢
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Kira • 2:39 PM
I told you
Oh well I'll never find healing
2:40 PM
Kira Murcia (kiramurcia6@gmail.com)
Neither will I
Kira • 2:40 PM
Sooner I go to God the better
2:40 PM
Kira Murcia (kiramurcia6@gmail.com)
Wow okay
😢
😢
You do aomething to your self youre also doing it to me
So if you dont want to do anything to me then dont do anything
😢
Kira • 2:41 PM
I'm becoming a privatized monk
2:41 PM
Kira Murcia (kiramurcia6@gmail.com)
And I will die
Come save me if you care
Im going to die
Kira • 2:41 PM
Stop testing me
2:41 PM
Kira Murcia (kiramurcia6@gmail.com)
Im not
Kira • 2:41 PM
Stop doing this to me you already
2:41 PM
Kira Murcia (kiramurcia6@gmail.com)
youre the ne testing me
Kira • 2:41 PM
Hurt me
2:41 PM
Kira Murcia (kiramurcia6@gmail.com)
All we do is fight
I hate this
😢
😢
Kira • 2:42 PM
Wow I can't believe you just said that
2:42 PM
Kira Murcia (kiramurcia6@gmail.com)
Are you home?
Kira • 2:42 PM
No
Burning outside at nova
Been outside for two hours
In my black clothes
2:42 PM
Kira Murcia (kiramurcia6@gmail.com)
Well thats not my faul
Go inside
Fault**
Kira • 2:43 PM
No I accepted it
2:43 PM
Kira Murcia (kiramurcia6@gmail.com)
😢
Kira • 2:43 PM
Thanks for saying that it's not your fault
Shows how much you care
2:43 PM
Kira Murcia (kiramurcia6@gmail.com)
You arguing with me and getting mad at me for crying sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo hard shows how much you care
I dont think Iwill ever stop crying
Cause you said you will never be healed
All I do is hurt you
I have to punish myself
Kira • 2:44 PM
No stop
2:44 PM
Kira Murcia (kiramurcia6@gmail.com)
Harshly
You might see marks
Kira • 2:44 PM
Stop makingr it worse
2:44 PM
Kira Murcia (kiramurcia6@gmail.com)
See thats all I do
Kira • 2:44 PM
Why are you torturing me
You have no faith that's the problem
2:44 PM
Kira Murcia (kiramurcia6@gmail.com)
Cause apparently thats all I know how to do
Im litteraly screaming
Kira • 2:45 PM
I can't speak because you threw my spirit down below hell
2:45 PM
Kira Murcia (kiramurcia6@gmail.com)
And I cant do anything about it
Cause I caused it all
So ow am I gouing to fix it
Going
Im going to just kill the baby thats growing right now
Kira • 2:45 PM
No stop
2:46 PM
Kira Murcia (kiramurcia6@gmail.com)
I think I started spotting
So Im pregnant
Kira • 2:46 PM
Stop doing this Kira stop
I know I'm not the one
2:46 PM
Kira Murcia (kiramurcia6@gmail.com)
But this is how its going to be with the child
Kira • 2:46 PM
But please for your sake
2:46 PM
Kira Murcia (kiramurcia6@gmail.com)
I dont care about me or anything
All I care about is you
But you dont believe me
Kira • 2:46 PM
Then for my sake stop saying bad things
2:47 PM
Kira Murcia (kiramurcia6@gmail.com)
Thats all thats in my head right now
Kira • 2:47 PM
Then just remember all the good things I've told you
2:47 PM
Kira Murcia (kiramurcia6@gmail.com)
I have the biggest head ache and I have a lot of things I need to do that wont get done
😢
😢
I HATE LIFE!!!!!!!!!!
I never knew I would say tha again
That**
😢
😢

Kira • 2:48 PM
I know not even I could stop you
That's how powerful I am
I couldn't remove your depression I couldn't stop you from saying you hate life
I can't believe it
You will leave me
2:48 PM
Kira Murcia (kiramurcia6@gmail.com)
No
Kira • 2:49 PM
From all that you said you might as well
2:49 PM
Kira Murcia (kiramurcia6@gmail.com)
But im never going to
Kira • 2:49 PM
Showing you don't care, admitting of less, submission snd declining of me and all these problems
2:49 PM
Kira Murcia (kiramurcia6@gmail.com)
So youre going to have to live with me sorry that Im in love with you
I cant help it
Kira • 2:49 PM
You're not in love with me Kira
It's not love what you have for me
2:49 PM
Kira Murcia (kiramurcia6@gmail.com)
Hope tha saved your phone
Kira • 2:56 PM
You were in a call with Kira
Kira Murcia2:56 PM
Kira Murcia (kiramurcia6@gmail.com)
That**
😢
😢
Kira • 2:56 PM
It frozed
2:57 PM
Kira Murcia (kiramurcia6@gmail.com)
Thats why I kept messaging you to but you werent paying attention to me
You were paying attention to who ever that was
Kira • 2:57 PM
I couldn't
2:57 PM
Kira Murcia (kiramurcia6@gmail.com)
Why
Kira • 2:57 PM
Missed call from Kira
Kira Murcia2:58 PM
My battery is dying
And I'm in the car
I feel so deprived of everything
And now we won't ever fix anything
2:59 PM
Kira Murcia (kiramurcia6@gmail.com)
I feel like im dead right now
Kira • 3:00 PM
I already died
3:00 PM
Kira Murcia (kiramurcia6@gmail.com)
So did i
Kira • 3:00 PM
My heart is stone again
3:00 PM
Kira Murcia (kiramurcia6@gmail.com)
So is mine
Kira • 3:00 PM
Then I guess we'll never get anywhere
3:00 PM
Kira Murcia (kiramurcia6@gmail.com)
I have been trying to fix you but nothing tha tI say fixes anything
Im going to go to bed crying
Kira • 3:01 PM
Leave me like you will
3:01 PM
Kira Murcia (kiramurcia6@gmail.com)
Why do you want me to leave so badly
??
Kira • 3:01 PM
I don't want you to leave but I know you will and you might as well from everything you told me
Leave me so that not only will I be nothing but I will have nothing
You will move on don't worry you're know for that remember
3:03 PM
Kira Murcia (kiramurcia6@gmail.com)
Im not leaving you. I told you I will never ever leave you no matter what. I told you the plans we have for each other is going to happen and I will make sure they will happen
What the hell Giovanni
Keep saying these things to me
They make me sooooooo happy
Kira • 3:03 PM
I'll just shut off my phone
3:03 PM
Kira Murcia (kiramurcia6@gmail.com)
Thats sarcasim btw
Kira • 3:03 PM
Save you the trouble before I hurt you even more
I can't do anything at all ever for you
You made me realize that
3:04 PM
Kira Murcia (kiramurcia6@gmail.com)
You do everything for me
Kira • 3:04 PM
No
Read every thing you just said to me that offended me
You make me feel like I already lost everything
If I've been hurt for months because I kept them from spilling out to you while you need my love and comfort
Obviously if you throw rocks at me like that I will collapse
Because I'm already holding a giant boulder on my shoulders
But your offenses are likes rocks thrown at me
3:06 PM
Kira Murcia (kiramurcia6@gmail.com)
I love hearing myself cry
Kira • 3:06 PM
Then as long as you're with me you'll cry
I won't be able to stop it because you made it be like that
You have made me seem powerless and you have made me powerless
3:07 PM
Kira Murcia (kiramurcia6@gmail.com)
No cause you are choosing to do nothing about it
Kira • 3:07 PM
I just told you everything
3:07 PM
Kira Murcia (kiramurcia6@gmail.com)
Im on the verge of killing myself
And I will do it
Im not scared
Kira • 3:07 PM
Tell this to the person who has power
I can't help you because I'm not that person
If you end yourself you end me
3:08 PM
Kira Murcia (kiramurcia6@gmail.com)
cause you dont want to*******
Kira • 3:08 PM
You don't want me to
I need to
I want to
I have to
3:09 PM
Kira Murcia (kiramurcia6@gmail.com)
Then do it
Kira • 3:09 PM
But I'm not enough
You have stripped me of everything
How can I fix when you don't love me anymore
But whatever I shouldn't have love anyway
Don't do anything Kira I love you
3:09 PM
Kira Murcia (kiramurcia6@gmail.com)
😢
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😭
Kira • 3:11 PM
Stop it please
Do you love pain or do you love truth
3:12 PM
Kira Murcia (kiramurcia6@gmail.com)
Neither
Im just used to pain
Kira • 3:12 PM
So therefore you seek pain and deny me
Because I only bring truth
And I understand that you don't need or want me except the feeling of love and emotion
So don't worry