-you had to straight bitch slap your friend's brother for calling your john deer a 'john queer'.

-you ran over your friend's dog, but it's the inbred one that rolls over and pisses on itself when you try to pet it.

-seen the biggest fuckin' garter snake by the back door the other day. Fuck. You almost wanna let it in you got so much mouses.

-pretty big fuckin' meth problem for a little while there, eh?

-your friend's dog bit you then ran away so that sun of a bitch is still out there somewhere...

- ... (spits).

-you found some marijuana plants in the back bush and you can dry 'em out in the shed but you're already on probation and pot gives your gal the scoots.

-you got an impaired while driving out to bowling, then you find out they don't serve OV anymore.

-a skid from up-country called your sister a slut so you have to fight him, but he's so fuckin' greasy you almost don't want to.

-Eh I say about 90% of the residents have a don cherry bubba keg on prominent display somewhere in their home.

-there's a gal in the next township who got the stinker removed from a skunk and she keeps it as a pet. So that's pretty much par for the course there, eh?