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F4W~!#579 - LIVER ENZYMES ELEVATED - JULY 31, 2006
BY OBSERVER STAFF | STAFF@WRESTLINGOBSERVER.COM | @WONF4W
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WELLNESS~! struck with a vengeance this weekend, throwing two pay-per-views from two different companies into disarray.

While the WWE Great American Bash PPV was the more high-profile of the two, without question the World Fighting Alliance debut show took the biggest hit. The main event, which had been promoted for months, was scheduled to be Kimo versus the returning Bas Rutten. Rutten, one of the pioneers of MMA, retired in 1999 due to a number of serious injuries. After a three-year layoff in which his training consisted nearly entirely of drinking, he was approached by Jeremy Lappen about doing commentary for the debut WFA show. During the press conference, Kimo made a number of unflattering comments (specifically that he felt Bas should have lost the decision to Kevin Randleman in the May 7, 1999 fight where Bas won the UFC Heavyweight Title) and Bas apparently figured that if he could come out of retirement and beat anyone’s ass, that person would be Kimo. There were legitimate bitter feelings between the two and they spoke out against each other in a number of media interviews. And then, two days before the PPV, word broke that Kimo had failed a steroid test and was off the show (he also failed a test following his last UFC fight with Ken Shamrock, so he’s got few bridges left to burn). It wasn’t until last Friday night, less than 12 hours before the PPV went on the air, that Reuben Villareal was announced as the replacement (they waited until all of his tests had cleared; he was first approached immediately after Kimo’s failure got out, so basically he was fighting on two days’ notice) (and it showed).

“Every guy who uses steroids to fight is a fucking pussy,” Bas said. “For him to do this shit after all the promotion he did, all the shit he talked about me — taking me out in minutes and all that bullshit — apparently that was the steroids talking, right?”

As this was going down, word broke that Smackdown’s Bobby Lashley was being taken off the show after tests discovered elevated liver enzymes. According to the Mayo Clinic website: “A laboratory report of elevated liver enzymes is common. It doesn’t indicate a specific disease. However, it may be due to a liver disorder, even if you don’t have any symptoms of liver problems. To determine the underlying cause of elevated liver enzymes, your doctor may recommend further testing. Liver enzymes help maintain a variety of chemical and metabolic processes that occur in the liver. Normally, only very small amounts of these enzymes are present in your blood. Common causes of elevated liver enzymes include: Medications, such as certain nonsteroidal anti-inflammatory drugs, cholesterol-lowering medications, antibiotics and anti-seizure medications; Drinking too much alcohol; Obesity; Diabetes; Elevated triglycerides; Infection, such as viral hepatitis and mononucleosis; Autoimmune disorders of the liver and bile ducts, such as autoimmune hepatitis and primary sclerosing cholangitis and primary biliary cirrhosis; Metabolic liver disease, such as hemochromatosis and Wilson’s disease; Excessive use of vitamin supplements and certain herbal supplements; Tumors of the liver or bile ducts.”

In the bodybuilding world, it’s common knowledge that liver issues are often a side effect of oral steroid use (which is why as much as some people hate needles, injectable steroids are considered safer). Lashley has not failed a steroid test, though the fact that he’s put on nearly 100 pounds of solid muscle in the past few years (he wrestled at 177 in college) seems to strongly indicate his liver enzymes issues are related to heavy steroid use (not to mention the fact that most doctors would tell you that putting 100 pounds of solid muscle and no bodyfat on in a few years is completely impossible naturally).

Things got worse. On Saturday, Great Khali was also pulled from the show due to a diseased liver. Before coming to WWE, Khali also had a completely unnatural physique (far less natural than even today), looking like pretty much the tallest competition bodybuilder there has even been.

Again, neither man has been suspended and both will be allowed to return to action once the situation is cleared up. In one of the most surreal PPV moments ever, Teddy Long called out Lashley on the PPV and addressed the situation pretty much in carny, saying Lashley had some issues to deal with, they needed to look at the long-term health of their performers, and that when the problems were addressed he could come back.

A few weeks ago the Wellness Policy looked like a joke. This week, things are much different. The full list of Wellness Victims at press time follows.

For Smackdown: Lashley, Khali, Kid Kash, Super Crazy, Joey Mercury and Matt Hardy. Lashley and Khali are out with the liver issues. Kid Kash and Jamie Noble are both out, and while some sources are saying it’s attitude-related, one WWE source stated that only Noble did not deserve to be included on the Wellness List. Kash, therefore, appears to be out due to issues related to the last round of medical testing (liver enzymes, etc.). Crazy was pulled due to elevated liver enzymes. Hardy is being pulled, and while we don’t have confirmation as to why, the WWE source did not say he was placed on the Wellness List unfairly. Hardy claims his blood test found traces of staph. Mercury was sent to rehab several months back.

For ECW: Kurt Angle and Rob Van Dam. Angle was pulled from the road due to serious issues with pain medication. Theoretically he could be back next week, but with his past I strongly suspect he’ll need to pass a test first, then continue to pass regular tests from that point forward. Because of the issues that have caused him to rely on the pills for so many years, there is at least a chance that he won’t ever be able to return. RVD failed a test, but it was an IQ test and not a drug test. He should be back within a couple of weeks. WWE has the right to test him regularly for marijuana, but my gut feeling is that they will not.

For Raw: Chris Masters and Rene Dupre. Masters was sent to rehab for non-steroid-related issues. There is no timetable listed for his return. Dupre failed a steroid test in June and was suspended. He ended up with a lot of heat because during his suspension he went on tour for his father Emil Dupre in the Maritimes.

For developmental: Ryan Reynolds. Formerly of Tough Enough and now under developmental, he failed a drug test in June.

The Smackdown list is the biggest of all because Smackdown was tested independently of Raw and ECW. Privately, WWE officials are expecting several more guys to go down within the next few weeks, and some are saying that by WrestleMania 2007 the full impact of the new policy will be very apparent. According to the source, there is actually a sense of relief about all of this because if any of the guys end up having hepatitis C a potential major disaster could be avoided. Bob Orton Jr. was fired last year after it was discovered that he’d had hepatitis since he was a teenager and bled all over Undertaker during Taker’s Hell in the Cell match this past fall with Randy Orton. Thankfully, Taker ended up testing clean, but it was a major issue (Undertaker was as mad as some people have ever seen him), and there was major heat on John Lauranitis since he apparently knew Bob had hepatitis before the match and never said anything about it.

I don’t know if there is heat on Lauranitis at this point, but there should be. Nearly every single person I’ve ever talked to has praised Jim Ross for the job he did as Head of Talent Relations, adding that Lauranitis is completely incompetent in comparison. Ross had a reputation for seeking out guys that might become something down the road, and coaching/counseling them on certain issues. Lauranitis has a reputation of hiring guys strictly on whether or not they’re the kinds of guys Vince would like (meaning BIG). Plenty of obvious neon signs have been signed (check the list), and the feeling is that Lauranitis figures it’s his job to hire them and their job to not fail any tests. Clearly, if WWE is going to continue taking this policy seriously (and it appears they are, as besides these suspensions, at least one Smackdown wrestler who was in a very prominent position at Great American Bash was told flat-out to get off steroids), that philosophy isn’t going to work.

Major changes are expected to be made to the Smackdown roster with so many guys out of action. There are plans to turn Fit Finlay babyface, which will be easy since he’s great and the fans are already into the midget. Once Raw wrestlers start dropping like flies, that roster will probably be shuffled around quite a bit as well. One of the biggest reasons there is a major drug issue in wrestling (at least in terms of steroids, as pain pill abuse exists for an entirely different reason) is that many guys have been brought up over the last two decades to understand that you have to look a certain way to get pushed to the top. There is still that feeling today, though if we continue to get weeks like this, and if guys like Fit Finlay end up getting better spots because they actually can pass drug tests, we may very slowly over the next few years see a positive shift in this business. Unfortunately, we’re a good decade away from being at the point where early deaths are a thing of the past, because even if everyone in WWE went cold turkey today, many of them have already done a lot of potentially irreversible damage. Plus, with no testing in TNA or the indies, it’ll take years of WWE promoting drug-free athletes before the trickle-down effect causes the rest of the wrestlers in this country to determine that they can make it big without the drugs.


Rey loses title at Bash
PUNJABI~!

The story of Great American Bash 2006 was **3/4. Give or take a 1/4*, and disregarding the women’s match and the Punjabi Prison Match (which was such that I am at a loss to try to rate it), this show was one pretty good match after another. Nothing horrible, nothing really great, just pretty good stuff. I cannot fault the in-ring. If I must fault anything, it’s the unapologetic false advertising as it regards Great Khali.

You could argue that WWE false-advertised both Khali and Bobby Lashley after the liver enzymes issue, and I guess they did, but at least with Lashley it was announced on the mobile system and on the WWE.com website. Realistically, though, Lashley not being there wasn’t going to affect the buyrate much at all. Undertaker vs. Khali, however, was pushed as a main event caliber feud and probably did sell some PPVs. It seems strange to say that, but when they announced that he was off the show the fans actually booed. They WANTED to see Khali vs. Taker in the Punjabi Prison. Granted, they booed when Lashley was taken off the show too, but to me that was more them being upset with a babyface being pulled from a three-way that they didn’t want turned into a two-way with two heels.

Regardless, Great Khali was all over the show-opening video package. Great Khali was involved in several skits. They basically told us that Great Khali was going to be there until they told us that he wasn’t, for really no good reason. Had this been a blow-away show it would have still been shitty, but not quite as shitty. On a **3/4 show that folks paid $40 for, it was really bad. Smackdown is suffering enough without pissing off fans and bullshitting them out of what they paid for. Very poor decision by WWE.

The other major news was that Rey Misterio finally dropped the World Title he won at WrestleMania. You could tell when he came out that he was finished, as he savored every moment of his last walk down the aisle and shook hands with every single person he could. In a way, it’s sad because he was never given a chance, not one single chance, and was without question the worst-booked longer-term champion (meaning, more than a few days) ever in the history of any major promotion. But on the other hand, it’s not so sad, because at 5-2 and 170 pounds he never should have even gotten the belt in the first place. He was never supposed to be in the main event at WrestleMania, then he was never supposed to win, then he was never supposed to hold the belt for more than a few weeks. He was scheduled to lose it to JBL, but then he got saved when JBL went down to a back injury. Strangely enough, he wasn’t initially going to lose it on this show, but this time plans changed for the worse. Still, Rey Misterio Jr., despite everything, ended up the World Champion for four straight months, and that’s a pretty cool thing.

Cole and JBL opened up the show. JBL said he couldn’t wait to see what kind of structure we’d get for the Punjabi Prison match. Never mind the fact that the bamboo cage was hanging from the ceiling.

1. London & Kendrick vs. Kid Kash & Jamie Noble for the WWE Tag Team Titles. JBL was talking about how Kash was trained by Ricky Morton (which is true, by the way), and actually got a reference about Kash and Morton being former NWA World Tag Team Champions. There has been a strange change of philosophy in WWE recently. Apparently, history is important now, though only the WWE-skewed version of it. In other words, you can acknowledge NWA history if it involves NWA footage WWE owns, but if it involves current TNA-related NWA footage, there is no such thing. Good guys ran wild on the Pitbulls early. The highlight of this match was when London and Kendrick jumped up in the air and clicked their heels together. Bad guys got the heat via cheating shenanigans. JBL said it was like being on the road without your wife, it was only cheating if you got caught. I hope Meredith wasn’t listening. London got the hot tag and ran wild. Crowd was mildly into this. He tossed Kash to the outside and then tried a skin the cat, but Noble dropkicked him in the gut in mid-move and London crashed and burned outside. What a fool. They cut him off forever. Instead of building heat the crowd got more and more quiet the longer this went on. It’s sad, because they were doing everything right, but it’s just a different generation. I often wonder if in 2006 WWE Ricky Morton could get the same kind of sympathy he did in 1986. We’d actually never know the answer because he and Robert Gibson would have worked exclusively on Velocity and then broken up within four months. Kendrick got the hot tag and threw a huge plancha to the outside. Broke down into a four-way and Spanky pinned Kash with a cradle following a London dropsault. Fun little opener. (**3/4)

Backstage, Khali was screaming something to Daivari in Great Khalese. Apparently he wanted to call out Undertaker right now. At least, that’s what Daivari said he said. Khali was yelling and screaming and it was SO GRAND. Then he grabbed Daivari by the throat and picked him up in chokeslam position, and that was the end of that. WHACKY. GREAT.

Teddy Long came out and explained that in his annual physical Bobby Lashley was found to have elevated liver enzyme levels, and therefore wouldn’t be able to compete tonight. Crowd booed. Lashley came out. Long wanted to know if there was something he wanted to say. Crowd chanted “LASHLEY!” Bobby grabbed the mic and said with all due respect to the doctors, he didn’t think there was a damn thing wrong with him. That’s the usual answer in situations like this. Crowd chanted “LET HIM FIGHT!” Long said he wanted him to compete tonight, but he owed it to Lashley and all the fans to ensure that this administration takes a long-term view of his personal health. He promised him that when he was medically cleared, he would get the opportunity to become the United States Champion yet again. Lashley just started at him for a long time, then walked out. This was so weird. Finlay and Regal suddenly came out. Both guys walked in a wide arc around Lashley as he was heading up the ramp. He’s being SHUNNED by the locker room. Finlay couldn’t believe this elevated enzymes bullshit. “GIVE ME A BREAK!” He said Bobby Lashley had a knot on the back of his head and a yellow streak down his back. He was SCARED, he said. Finlay said he wanted Long to raise his hand and declare him the winner via forfeit. Long took the mic and wanted to know why he should do such a thing. He said he promised the fans a match, so they were going to get a match, Regal vs. Finlay.

2. Finlay vs. Regal for the US Title. Regal made sure to check under the ring for the midget before the match. They did the long lock-up early and everyone booed. Uh oh. Crowd is going to hate this and not even give it a chance. Cole said this was the first time these two had wrestled each other in ten years. On paper, the idea of the midget getting involved in this match sounds horrible, but in execution it was frikkin great. I mean, I hadn’t really thought about it much but you had THE MIDGET and WILLIAM REGAL doing SPOTS and it was FUCKING GREAT. Regal is so awesome. Crowd chanted “WE WANT LASHLEY!” Finlay showed us the most creative ways to work over fingers. JBL was ranting about elevated enzymes throughout this match. He said he drank all the time and didn’t have an issue, but then noted he probably didn’t have a liver anymore. Crowd chanted “BORING!” Bastards. Regal got wrapped up in the ring apron and when he pulled his foot out his boot was missing. The little fellow took it. It took him forever to take it I might add. Regal grabbed the gimmick but the ref took it from him. As his back was turned, the midget gave Finlay the boot, which he used to clonk Regal for the pin. Match was a disappointment, but these guys had no chance. (**1/2)

Chavo had a meeting with Rey. He said everyone had been proud of him ever since he won the WWE Title at WrestleMania. Everyone, the fans, the Guerrero family, everyone. “I’ve been proud of you!” Chavo added. He said one of Eddy’s last dreams was to regain the World Championship, so in a sense Rey was living Eddy’s dream. God, not again. He said tonight he was there to make sure that dreams did come true.

3. Gregory Helms vs. Matt Hardy for the Cruiserweight Title. Matt hasn’t been a Cruiserweight in years. In fact, since he did that gimmick where he had to lose weight to qualify for the division. JBL said King Booker was the King Tut of the 21st century. I hope not, or he’s living on severely borrowed time. Hardy mocked the Hurricane gimmick early, then threw a plancha to the outside. Helms got the heat with a neckbreaker. JBL dropped a Jeff Hardy reference. Interesting. There has been talk of bringing him back recently. The word is he’d doing better, whatever that means. Whatever it really means, I should say. JBL claimed to have created the Great American Bash. That was a good one. It was the JBL show during this match, I should note. Matt made his big comeback. “His game is elevated,” JBL said. “His enzymes might not be, but his game is!” What a great man. Helms cut him off and hit a super neckbreaker off the top. “HARDY!” They traded nearfalls and the crowd was mildly into it. Helms hit the shining wizard – or something resembling it – but Matt kicked out. Another light “HARDY!” chant. This was going on a bit too long. Helms finally dropped him headfirst onto the turnbuckle and pinned him using the tights. What a weird finish. Just came out of nowhere. (**3/4)

MORE GREAT KHALI. He was ranting and raving about something as he lumbered down the hall. Daivari said the match was next, so why did they have to call out Undertaker right now? I am going to miss the Great Khali. Suddenly, Undertaker showed up and threw Daivari across the hall. “You looking for me?” he asked Khali. This was Big Show’s cue to rush in and ambush Taker. Khali threw a kick a kick to the head, then Show and Khali chopped each other, and that was that. This was corny.

They previewed the match, then they cut to backstage where Khali and Show were heading to the ring. They ran into Teddy Long. He said tonight only one man would be facing Undertaker and it would be Big Show. Khali went nuts, screaming “MY MATCH” over and over in Khalese. Show freaked out as well saying this wasn’t fair, he didn’t even know what a Punjabi Prison was. They cut back to the arena and people were booing. Well, that was as blatant an example of false advertising as I’ve ever seen, and Long didn’t even have a good reason for it.

4. Undertaker vs. Big Show in a Punjabi Prison match. The cage, made fully of bamboo, dropped from the ceiling as Indian music played. This at least looked really cool. Unfortunately, now the match has to take place. There was an inner and outer cage. Cole said there were four doors on the inside, and if a wrestler called for it then a door would be opened for 60 seconds. There were no doors on the outside cage, but the only way to escape was to get out of both of them. This should be a disaster of epic proportions. As Taker was entering the ring the announcers noted that there were WEAPONS all over the place. Not sure what kind of weapons, but weapons nonetheless. Show was selling it like he was going to cry. Hey, I would as well. Of course, I’m not the ECW Champion of the World. There was so much bamboo you could barely see a goddamn thing. Couldn’t they have shot this on location, and plopped the cage down in the middle of the blazing desert? That would have been fun. Crowd was inexplicably chanting “UNDERTAKER!” I cannot believe they get into this stuff. The top of the cage was laced with RAZOR SHARP BAMBOO, so Undertaker was unable to climb out on his first attempt. Um, there are doors in the inner cage you dumb shit. Crowd was now deathly silent. Cole noted that the ECW Title was not on the line here. “IT’S A PUNJABI PRISON MATCH, IT’S NOT AN ECW MATCH!” JBL screamed. Cole said there were these deals there that were like “torture devices in prison”. Crowd chanted for Undertaker again. “Can you IMAGINE this match with Great Khali?” my buddy Vince asked. I wish I could. At least that would have been comically bad. This is just badly bad. We got to talking about all the food we ate at the Bite of Seattle. To sum it all up, the answer is A LOT. Taker asked for the cage door to be opened. A clock appeared on the screen counting down 60 seconds. Cole now explained that if you didn’t escape within the 60 seconds, the door would NEVER OPEN AGAIN. This is TNA at its finest. The time limit expired, so we’ve only got THREE DOORS LEFT BEFORE THEY’RE TRAPPED IN THERE INTO PERPETUITY. I should note that when the 60 seconds expired, an Indian GONG~! sounded. This match is now officially fantastic. So there were all sorts of gimmicks and weapons available, but Show decided to undo a corner pad. Sweet Christ. They botched a spot, but thankfully the fans couldn’t see it with all that bamboo in the way. Show called for door two to be opened. Taker cut him off. NO. LET HIM GET OUT PLEASE. He failed. GONG. “SHIT!” Big Show said. I agree. Shit. Has a man ever been involved in so many great and terrible matches as the Undertaker? Both guys were bleeding. I feel like I’m in a Punjabi Prison right now. It’s insufferably hot, I’m sad, and I feel trapped and helpless. Show went up top and Undertaker superplexed him for a big pop. Terrifying. That got the people into it. Taker asked for a door to be opened and ESCAPED. YAY! Now he just had to escape the outer cage. GO TAKER GO. GO GO GO GO GO!!! Show escaped out of the fourth door and they started brawling on the side of the cage. I can’t believe it’s supporting Big Show’s weight. Show then had a brilliant idea. The fourth door was still open, so he took Taker over and threw him inside right before the 60 seconds elapsed. The door closed and Undertaker was TRAPPED INSIDE FOREVER. So Show started scaling the outside cage while Taker scaled the inside. Show, I should note, is a very slow man. They both ended up in the outside cage again. Suddenly, out came Daivari and Khali. As they were scaling the cage, Taker did a dive onto Show and both guys fell through the cage. Basically, the cage just swung open like a door with no latch on it and the referee decided Taker won because he fell farther away from the cage than Big Show did. This was one for the ages.

Sharmell gave Booker a pep talk backstage. He’s going to be the King of the WORLD~!, she said. This made him very happy, which made me very happy. It’s funny, I never want to vomit when I see Booker and Sharmell kiss like I do with nearly everyone else in this business.

“In all my years of wrestling I have never witnessed anything so brutal,” JBL said of Punjabi.

5. Ashley vs. Krystal vs. Michelle McCool vs. Jillian Hall in a four-way bra and panties match. The highlight of this match was Jillian pulling guard while brawling with McCool. Ashley and Jillian lost their tops. Cole said they were LITERALLY beating the HOLY HELL out of each other. That’s amazing. McCool and Krystal lost their bottoms. Finish saw Jillian go for a Boston crab on Krystal, then Ashley grabbed her top and pulled it off. Jillian was mad until Ashley whispered something to her. The something was that we should both strip. And they did. And no one cared.

6. Batista vs. Ken Kennedy. Kennedy was bleeding within a minute, almost certainly hardway. It was a gross one. Big Dave is still big, really big. Kennedy got the heat kicking him as he was coming through the ropes. It was boring. Batista made a comeback and it was only slightly less boring. Dave started choking him on the ropes and the ref counted to five. Dave refused to break, and when the ref demanded it he shoved him aside for the DQ. I am not making this up. They replaced Matt Henry with Ken Kennedy and didn’t even give the people a clean finish. If this was supposed to “protect” Kennedy than no one knows what protection is, because Batista destroyed him afterwards, completely and utterly, and made him look like a geek.

7. Rey Misterio vs. Booker T for the WWE Title. Apparently they had some time to kill as Booker took approximately nine hours to get to the ring. Then Rey came out and may have slapped hands with every single fan in the first three rows. It was like he was walking to his execution. We’ll see if that’s the case. They did the fancy ring intros and it was awesome. Booker was billed at 256 pounds. I wonder if that includes the cape. They seriously blew through like 12 minutes between ring intros, entrances and the like. Rey ran wild early and it was good stuff. Cole and JBL were arguing about what America was all about, then Cole started ranting and raving about how Rey wasn’t a cheater and how cheaters never won. This match, of course, was built around Rey living the legacy of Eddy Guerrero. Rey hit a diving silla off the post. Booker finally got the heat with the superkick. Booker hit the rolling German suplexes. Fans did not like that one bit. The Children chanted “619!” Rey made a comeback and went for it, but Sharmell tripped him up. Ref caught her and ejected her. I like how if you don’t break on five in a semi-main event it’s a DQ, but if you trip up the World Champion in the main event you only get ejected. Rey went for his lucha wheelbarrow dealy-a-bob into a bulldog, but Booker caught him in mid-move and back suplexed him. That was AWESOME. The kids were going nuts. Well, except for the kid who saw the camera pointed at him and screamed “YOU CAN’T SEE ME!” They at least did a creative ref bump. Rey went for a headstand into a headscissors in the corner, and Booker rotated him into the ref. Rey finally hit the 619 and went up top for a frog splash. He hit it, but no ref. Booker hit a low blow and a uranage, but still no ref. He grabbed a chair from ringside. Cue everyone looking towards the back for Chavo. He hit the ring and FUCKING WAFFLED young Rey Misterio with a chairshot right to the face. He hit him so hard that Rey’s mask ended up turned halfway around. That was horrifying. Booker got the pin and the ref slid in to count the pin. And there’s your new champion. ALL HAIL KING BOOKER~! (***)


WFA debuts
The first-ever WFA PPV was fine.

I seem to be writing that a lot lately, that shows are just FINE. We’re oversaturated with OK programming and there is a glut of great stuff. But that’s a different rant for a different day.

The show reminded me of the last PRIDE as the production values were way down from anything you’d see pretty much anywhere else. No light shows, lasers, pyro or anything like that. It was all about what happened in the cage, which is fine if your audience is the 10,000 hardcore MMA fans that are going to buy any live show from any promotion, but not fine if you’re hoping to grow into something bigger. The question is whether 10,000 fans was enough to make this show worthwhile. The simple answer is no, particularly with some of the major names the company signed on for this event. We don’t have any sort of buyrate numbers yet, but the 10,000 noted above is the best I can hope for. They claimed they’d be running a second show this fall. Therefore, the real question is what kind of backing they’ve got, and whether they’ve got the finances to continue running money-losing shows. I could break this down further, or I could just simplistically say that in 2006 you need strong national television (special on Showtime are not nearly strong enough) and something beyond Internet advertising in order to make any money off a PPV, and without that it’s just a game of how long you can hold on and how much money you can drain from an investor before the plug gets pulled.

But again, fight-wise it was fine. There were only a couple of boring fights, and Bas Rutten really brought something special to this show. Quinton Jackson vs. Matt Lindland wouldn’t mean a damn thing to a casual fan, but they had a great fight that some were saying had to be in the running for fight of the year. I’d love to see WFA succeed and run more shows, but unless they’ve got some very deep pockets they’re going to need a better business model.

They drew about 3,500 to 4,000 in the 17,000-seat LA Forum. Shaquille O’Neal, Bruce Willis, Jenna Jameson, Tito Ortiz, Ken Shamrock, Josh Barnett, Dan Henderson and Tank Abbott were all in attendance.

Barry Tompkins (a famous boxing commentator), Stephen Quadros (formerly of PRIDE) and Bill Goldberg (football star — actually, the one refreshing thing about this show was that they didn’t run from the pro-wrestling tie-in, and actually embraced it) were the commentators this evening. I’ve seen FAR worse announce crews. Phil Baroni of all people was one of the hosts. Very interesting. I wonder if that means no more fight for UFC.

1. Rob McCullough vs. Harris Sarmiento. Referee was Herb Dean, and when they introduced him everyone booed. Sucks to be that poor guy. Very boring first round. Apparently there isn’t a $10,000 bonus for best fight of the night or anything like that. Arena was very, very dark, which means, suffice to say, they did not sell out. Loud boos with 1:30 left, and they were not for Herb Dean this time. Boring first round. Tito Ortiz of all people was in McCullough’s corner. Dana had to be flipping his lid. McCullough was laying in a bunch of leg kicks early, but that was the only thing that happened. “Sarmiento isn’t doing very much,” Tompkins said. The crowd went nuts every time it almost went to the ground. Round two was slightly more exciting than the first. Tony described this best as “an oddly boring fight that flew by”. They did three five-minute rounds, by the way, so at least it wasn’t the PRIDE ten, five and five. Fight went the limit. “Entertaining fight,” Goldberg said as the fans booed. Judges gave it to McCullough. I’ll take his word for it. So did Sarmiento. Hey, at least we all agree.

May it be recorded that the first fight in the history of the WFA was really boring.

Ron Waterman and Ricco Rodriguez both talked shit. That’s the best way I can describe what they did here. Ricco looked gargantuan. He was 298 pounds. Hey, that’s 298 DIETED DOWN. “I don’t know if that’s good weight,” Tompkins said. There’s some analysis for you.

2. Ron Waterman vs. Ricco Rodriguez. Ron Waterman was under WWE developmental for a long time. He always looked like a younger Scott Steiner, and coincidentally they canned him shortly after signing the real Steiner. It’s funny, because the real Steiner is only like four years older than Waterman, but he looks at least 15 years older. Ricco looked Super Porkyrrific. Both Vince and Tony look better than Ricco Rodriguez, which is a statement the likes of which has never been made before in this publication. They cut to Bruce Willis in the crowd. Sitting next to him was Ken Shamrock. They didn’t even say his name. We got to talking about whether a Super Porky vs. Scott Steiner fight would be any good. We generally agreed that it would be. Porky has trained some MMA and actually did a shoot fight, a shoot fight that he came goddamn close to winning before getting caught in a choke. Steiner obviously has the wrestling background, but he’s also very old with very questionable cardio (not that Porky’s cardio is anything great). Waterman tried to take him down but it was like trying to take down the Great Pyramid. Goldberg was chuckling about how Ricco had “SERIOUS PIMP” on his trunks. Waterman got stunned by a shot and drove Ricco into the fence. The one thing about Ricco is that he has a lot of weight behind his shots. Waterman was hurt and wobbly. He wasn’t exactly in the best fighting shape either, because he looked like he was training for a WWE 2003 return, and that’s not the kind of physique that behooves you in real combat. Waterman survived the round but the doctor stopped it during the break. YOU GOT BEAT BY FAT RICCO. In the parlance of the kids today, PWNED~!

Ricco dropped down after the match and crossed himself. Ironically, he looked like Buddha.

3. Art Santore vs. Ivan Salaverry. Art came out in a pimp suit. He looked way more like a pimp than Ricco Rodriguez. The funny thing is once he took off the outfit, he was the most un-pimp dude you ever saw. A white guy with a normal physique, a little bit of a gut, and a thick old head of pot-smoker hair. I admit I have had a drink or two. I cannot lie. Particularly right now. But I watched all of Great American Bash, including the PUNJABI PRISON MATCH~!, and now I’m onto my fourth or fifth straight hour of programming with this here WFA. And it’s a Sunday, and a hot one at that, and I ate at the Bite of Seattle earlier, thousands upon thousands of calories, and figured if I was going to fall off the wagon I might as well do it with GUSTO. Back to more serious matters, Goldberg did a really good job on this show. The ref may have been BB King. “That’s Cecil Peoples,” Tony said. This was at least better than the last Ivan Salaverry match that we saw, at Ultimate Fight Night. During the break between the first and second, a mystery woman who might have been Loretta Hunt interviewed Ricco. He channeled Ric Flair by putting over Waterman like a million bucks before noting that he whipped his ass. Salaverry ended up on his ass in the second and quickly pulled guard. Salaverry was landing some hard shots, both to the legs and to the body. Announcers even wanted to know where Bas was at one point to scream “LIVER KICK!” Salaverry was just taking him apart. Santore finally went down and Salaverry pounced, landing shot after shot after shot until Peoples stopped it. Salaverry looked very good here. Art was caked with blood, and as they zoomed in close he smiled and wiggled his tongue around and the place went nuts.
4. Jason Mayhem Miller vs. Lodune Sincaid. Miller said there were “Mayhem Monkeys” in the world and he was going to win this fight for them. Maybe he’s been drinking. His fighting discipline was Jiu-Jitsu and “pro-wrestling”. Oh boy, here we go. Sincaid, of course, if from Ultimate Fighter I. He’s also been trained by JUDO FUCKING GENE LEBELLE. Shaq was there. “SHAQ IS THE GUY GOLDBERG SHOULD FIGHT!” my buddy Vince screamed. That would sell some PPVs. Miller did have an awesome entrance. He had some buddies of his, brothers, dancing and bebopping around, and DOLLA BILLS fell from the sky around him. He had a yellow streak on his head. In his corner was Josh Barnett, so there’s the pro-wrestling tie-in. Jimmy Lennon Jr. was the announcer this evening. Miller was billed as being from, no shit, “PARTS UNKNOWN”. He better try a HURACANRANA in this match. He took Lodune down and quickly got his back. That’s usually trouble. Apparently Lodune in his first pro fight beat a “Jason Miller”, but it wasn’t this Jason Miller. This is not as weird as it sounds as we went to high school with at least two Jason Millers. “They were losers,” my buddy Vince added. Well, that Jason Miller was as well. Lodune managed to switch. WE’VE GOT A FIGHT HERE. The Mayhem Monkeys were going, coincidentally, APE SHIT. Miller got his back again and sunk in the choke for the submission. He was so excited afterwards that he did a spinerooni. Goldberg got a Booker T reference in there. This is the best show ever.


5. Vernon White vs. Lyoto Machida. Machida is the latest final protégé of Mr. Antonio Inoki. He’s undefeated in fighting, and I’ve actually never seen him fight. All I need to tell you about the first round is that with 1 minute left there were people booing. Lyoto has a very weird stance, similar to Sakuraba. His hands are low and open and you think he’s destined to be tagged at any time. During the break the chick was interviewing Mayhem. Turns out her name is Shannon Knapp. “Big ups to all the Mayhem Monkeys out there!” Mayhem said. This was an ROH promo if I ever saw one. And so we went into round two and with 2:30 left everyone was booing again. It was like they all agreed to give them a chance for a couple of minutes, but only a couple. Machida’s claim to fame, besides being Inoki’s PROTÉGÉ, is that he’s the only guy ever to beat Rich Franklin. Announcers made the usual statement in a match like this: “Styles make fights.” I HATE that statement. FIGHTERS MAKE FIGHTS. And these two fighters were making for a boring fight. This fight was such that we decided to go to YouTube and watch David Schultz slap John Stossell. I’d actually never seen this before. Schultz slapped the SHIT out of him. The first one was shocking enough, but then he slapped him again and that one was BRUTAL. Probably more brutal than anything we saw in this particularly fight so far. Lyoto got him down and ended up in the mount, then got his back and tried to sink in a choke. I’d love to see a choke at this point. We’ve got 1:15 left. Last five seconds was, no shit, Lyoto hugging him. “That was not what I expected from this match,” said Tompkins. Lyoto got the win via decision and the crowd didn’t give a shit.

6. Bas Rutten vs. Rueben Villareal. Bas ran down his record, King of Pancrase, blah blah blah, then added, “And I’m very handsome.” HE RULES THE WORLD. Reuben’s corner man was TANK ABBOTT. I was devastated when Bas did not come out to My Name is El Guapo, but what can you do? Bas was in great shape, I’ll give him that. He’s 41. Crowd went totally nuts for him. Josh Rosenthal was the referee. I’m very disappointed, I wanted HERB DEAN to ref Bas’s first fight back. Bas just started laying into him early. He hit him so hard, in fact, that he was apologizing. Bas doesn’t have the quickness he used to have, but he hits REALLY hard. Bas started taking him apart with leg kicks. Villareal was noticeably limping. Bas then fucking WAYLAID him with a leg kick and Villareal went down, and that was the end of that. It’s tough to say whether or not he’d hang with the world class workers because Villareal is not, in fact, at that level (nor would Kimo have been), but for a 41 year old guy that just came out of retirement, my God he was scary.

Bas took us through the fight afterwards and it was great. Stephen Quadros asked him what was next. Bas said he tore his groin muscle and ACL, and also had torn rib cartilage, so what was next for him was surgery. He said after the surgery if he still felt good he might fight again.

7. Quinton Jackson vs. Matt Lindland. Commentators were Quadros and Goldberg. Where the hell has Quadros been all night? Jackson slammed him hard within the first minute and Lindland tried to hook in a guillotine. He failed. This was a full body slam, I might add. Lindland got to his feet and they brawled up by the fence, then HE picked up Jackson and slammed him. They ended up by the fence with 40 seconds left and Lindland got his back and sank in a choke. I mean, this was a deep choke and it looked like bad news, but Jackson switched and ended up in his guard as the round ended. That was some good stuff there. Crowd was on their feet. We’re on to round two. Both guys looked very good this evening. Goldberg said Lindland never got the credit he deserved and was working his ass off this evening. He does have a reputation for being boring that is undeserved, at least at the level he accused of being. They brawled near the fence for about two minutes. Jackson had a crotch, which is an old-school term for hooking him between the legs in position for something scary. At least, that’s my definition. And sure enough, he CROTCHED HIM and delivered a NORTHERN LIGHTS BOMB. That was frikkin terrifying. Lindland survived and ended up his feet quickly. Sometimes I watch these fights, particularly with Jackson, and I feel the slams should be outlawed. They’re just too dangerous and somebody is going to land right on their head and break their neck one of these days. I cannot believe I’m this drunk and this lucid. Literally the only thing I can do write now is type, I can’t even walk right. And we’re on to round three. These guys were working their asses off. Goldberg finally noted that Quinton had HUMBLED Chuck Liddell in PRIDE. I figured they’d be talking about that all night long. Lindland hooked him in what looked to be a tight guillotine with 1:45 left. Jackson escaped, took him down and was pummeling him as the round ended. Lindland was bleeding all over, and Jackson threw a flying knee right as the time limit expired. Perfect example of a three-rounder that needs five. Very, very close. They announced that they’d be back for show number two in October. Quinton got the win via split decision. Lindland was angry, but with a fight that close you can’t be that upset. Very good main event.

After the match Lindland said he wanted a rematch, but Quinton said they had to up his pay baby~! The old Quinton was back, sorta.


In House Notes
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F4W~! Store
Figure Four Weekly offers the following ancillary products, which can be purchased the same way you order the newsletter.

Death of WCW: Myself and co-author RD Reynolds run down the life and death of WCW, with a heavy emphasis on the final years of the Monday Night Wars. The 330-page book has more detail on the subject than any book currently on the market, and the comedy totally wrote itself (as you’ll recall if you lived through the era). Purchase your copy at a local retailer such as Barnes and Noble or Borders, or order online today at www.deathofwcw.com.

Super Chico DVDs: Super Chico Volume V and VI are currently available on DVD. Chico V feature six matches, and includes some special features. There is an alternate audio track in which I do commentary on all the matches, giving details on how they were put together and background information on everyone involved, and there is also a bonus match from my backyard wrestling days in the Youth Wrestling Federation. The DVD sells for $25, which includes free shipping and handling. Chico VI is a two-disc set featuring 12 matches and several special features, including two whacky skits (the Tour of Figure Four Headquarters and How Shoulders Torelli Became Vinny V), a bloopers reel, and a commentary track with some special guests, including Vinny and Buddy Wayne. This set sells for $30, which also includes shipping and handling. Chico V and VI are currently available together for $50, a savings of five dollars.

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WWE
WWE was a madhouse this week for a number of reasons. Great Khali and Blaster being pulled off the PPV required a number of rewrites, plus with Show replacing Khali they made the move to cancel the planned ECW house show that night. Raw was even more insane as Stephanie went into labor that afternoon, causing the show to be re-written after Hunter and Vince flew out to be with her. She ended up giving birth to 8 pound 7 ounce Aurora Rose Levesque, described by WWE in a press release as the new heir apparent to WWE. If it wasn’t obvious before that Shane McMahon’s being left out in the cold, it sure was here. Shane’s wife Marissa gave birth to Vince’s first grandchild a few years back, and it didn’t get nearly the press this did, nor did WWE claim that child was the next heir apparent. For those unaware, the real next heir apparents are HHH and Steph, and most everyone within WWE has known that for awhile. The last time something appeared on WWE.com breaking kayfabe and linking Hunter and Steph, the dude who wrote it got “reassigned”. Apparently, WWE has since decided everybody already knows, because besides the stuff they did on Raw they flat-out wrote in the press release: “On screen, this couple, a force to be reckoned with, called it quits with a bitter divorce after two years of marriage. Off screen, they couldn’t be happier and more excited to be the new parents to the future heir to the throne.” WWE.com also listed them as “Stephanie McMahon and her husband Triple H”. Vince was already back on the job Tuesday night, running things backstage at the Smackdown tapings.

Some notes from Raw. They taped some stuff for Hogan Knows Best backstage at the show. Victoria suffered some sort of knee injury during a Heat match with Torrie Wilson. She had to be helped out of the ring and we didn’t get an update other than that. She’s had knee injuries for a long time and has avoided surgery, which is why she’s always wearing the gigantic knee brace. At some point, it’s inevitable that she’ll have to get it. Although the cell phone stuff was storyline on the show, Vince was in contact with the writers and such all night.

Batista and Booker T, despite having a very legit fight several months back at a photo shoot, are said to be fine with doing a match together.

Video and audio of RVD and Sabu getting pulled over is on the Internet. You can’t see anything but the tail lights of the car, but you can hear about a minute of the conversation. RVD was going 73 in a 55. He claimed he thought it was 65. The cop didn’t follow wrestling and asked who they were, and when told said he’d heard of Rob. “World Champion,” RVD added. The cop wanted to know if RVD always drove without a shirt on. “It was very hot leaving the arena,” Rob explained. The cop asked if they had any marijuana, drugs, etc. in the car. There was a pause. Then the cop said: “Well can you explain to me why your car smells like dope?” FUCKED!.

Henry’s knee surgery was performed last Thursday. Turns out his patella tendon had been torn completely off the bone, and he split his kneecap completely in half. He’ll be out a minimum eight months.

ECW last Tuesday at the special 11:00 PM start time did a 2.09 rating with a 1.73 in males 18-49, a 1.67 in males 18-34, and an average audience of 2.5 million viewers.

Raw last week did a 4.0 off hours of 3.6 and 4.3. That’s a big jump in the second hour. The final rating for Saturday Night’s Main Event ended up being a 2.6, which is still horrible. It finished dead last of everything on any network.

The DX vs. NWO poster floating around the Internet is fake.

Looks like Mike Mondo and Johnny Jeter may be heading back to OVW for the time being as they shot an angle at the last TV tapings where they laid out Danny Davis and gave him a vicious beating. I figure Ken Doane is safe because he’s young and tall, though I though Mondo and Jeter would at least be given a shot on Raw (or ECW) as a singles tag team. Nick and Mitch may not be long for the WWE wrestling world.

Billy Graham on Between the Ropes talked about his past issues with WWE, and how a couple of guys were very upset that he was asked back and inducted into the Hall of Fame: “The two guys dissenting were Pat Patterson and Blackjack Lanza. I had personal issues with Pat that were my fault going all the way back to the Phil Donahue show some years ago when Bruno [Sammartino] and I and Dave Meltzer and some other guys were on. Lanza, being an old school hard liner, felt that the steroid damage that I did during the steroid era of ’92, he thought I was attacking the business, but I was really attacking Vince personally and Hulk personally. Of course it rolled over throughout the business and caused Vince quite a bit in financial returns. About that time Hulk went down to Atlanta as you guys know. So really, everybody was wonderful. I felt like I was Willie Mays coming back to a baseball reunion with the way everybody treated me. Lanza and Patterson didn’t want to sit down and rehash things. Lanza, I could care less about to be honest with you folks. Patterson, it did hurt me a lot because I did say some very unscrupulous things to him and about him that were simply not true.” He also talked about Eddy Guerrero (the two were very close, and Graham presided over the funeral), saying it took six months for him to get over the death. He noted that Eddy had been having problems in the week leading up to his death, passing out at the table and getting dizzy and such. He said if he’d have gone to the doctor at the first sign of these symptoms, they might have been able to do something. It’s tough in this business because a lot of guys are brought up with the mindset that they need to be tough and not go to the doctor unless absolutely necessary. That’s why I worried so much about Kenta Kobashi and his kidney cancer, because my thought was that if he finally complained to the doctor it must be in the very late, serious stages. Thankfully, that was not the case. Graham also talked about how when he won the WWWF Title, Vince McMahon Sr. already knew over a year in advance the exact time and place when he’d lose it to Bob Backlund. He was upset at the time because he felt he was really on a roll as heel champion and that it was too early to take the belt off him (and it probably was), but Vince Sr. had the date all planned out and wasn’t changing his mind. Compare that to Vince McMahon Jr. today. Graham also noted that despite disc degeneration that has caused him to shrink three inches, bone and joint problems due to years of steroid abuse, a hip replacement, bone deterioration, a liver transplant and an ankle fuse, he still works out every day. So the rest of you have no fucking excuse.

VH1 is running a contest looking for the world’s biggest Hulk Hogan fan. Where’s that dude that tattooed Hogan on his back? The winner gets a free trip to Miami to hang out with the Hogans, and a guest spot on an upcoming Hogan Knows Best. My God what a show that could be.

The Israel tour that was cancelled may be rescheduled for September. They’ve sold over 20,000 tickets for three shows thus far.

The Vince McMahon “Stand Back” performance from the Slammys will be an extra on his upcoming DVD.

Lots of Smackdown preemptions coming up in August. As most of you are aware, UPN is being replaced by the new CW network this September. However, not every affiliate that had UPN is going to be getting CW, and some of those that aren’t are basically killing the UPN programming since it’s lame duck stuff that they have no reason to promote or support. In many markets, Smackdown is regularly being bumped to Saturday afternoons or late Friday nights. That’s one of the reasons the ratings have been so bad, but certainly not the only reason. Of course, in WWE it’s considered the only reason, which is why things aren’t getting any better.

WWE ratings notes from the UK. The July 4th ECW show, which aired Saturday July 9th, only did 38,000 viewers for both of its replay shows. That’s way less than Heat and Velocity used to do. The replay of the June 27th show didn’t even register on the charts. The July 6th Raw did 126,000 viewers. Smackdown’s first run actually beat them, doing 134,000. Bottom Line, a nothing show, destroyed ECW with 56,000 viewers (even the replay did 40,000).

The Roddy Piper DVD, entitled Born To Controversy: The Roddy Piper Story, is expected to be released November 7th. He’s working on a new film called Sin-Jim Symth. It’s a horror film so it’ll probably be out around October. He also just shot a TV commercial with Cyndi Lauper for the 80s edition of Trivial Pursuit.

Krystal got banged up in her match at the Great American Bash. She was hospitalized afterwards, but we’re told she will be fine.

Mr. Kennedy also needed nearly two dozen stitches after being busted open hardway on the steps in his match with Big Dave.

The next WWE Magazine has a headline story on Randy Orton’s suspension, trip to rehab, and $17,000 fine.

The Marine, a novel based on the upcoming WWE Films project starring John Cena, is now out in paperback.

The ECW show at the Dow Event Center in Saginaw, MI has been moved to November 5th from July 23rd. The WWE Divas TV special has also been moved to August 16th at 10:00 PM from August 15th at 9.

Speaking of ECW and TV, WWE finally announced a Canadian TV deal. The show will be debuting on the Global Television Network (12.2 million homes) on Friday, August 11th at midnight. They’ll also be getting replays on (coincidentally enough) Xtreme on Saturdays at 1:00 PM and 9:00 PM, and Sundays at 4:00 AM EST.

Oleg Prudius, the former Johnny Geo Basco that Jim Cornette bitch-slapped to get himself fired, is now working on the road with WWE. That is intriguing. Last time I saw him in OVW, which was like two months ago, he was SO not ready.

Starting August 1st, Jim Ross will be writing columns for OU Insider and Sooners Illustrated.

Every day off the top of my head with no effort I think of something better for Orton/Hogan than what they’ve done. My latest idea was Orton would ask Brooke out on a date and Hogan and Knobs would hide the GPS in the car, and discover they went to a LOVER’S LOOKOUT or something like that, and Hogan storms out there under the light of the full moon and Orton RKO’s him off the cliff into the sea. Then Hogan could show up at Raw DRIPPING WET and looking for revenge. So much wasted potential.


TNA
Tickets for the Detroit show should go on sale this week. It is believed the show will be promoted by Insane Clown Posse, and there will be a fan fest the day before. The Clowns are killer promoters and packed a ton of people into the building the last time they promoted a TNA event.

The other guy in the planned X-Division three-way at the PPV (which ended up being just Senshi vs. Frankie Kazarian) may have been, ironically enough, Incognito. I know he was scheduled to be there but no-showed.

Notes from a Kevin Nash interview with nzpwi.com. The funniest thing was actually the introduction: “On Tuesday July 18, NZPWI’s Kirsty Quested had the privilege of speaking to TNA mainstay and all-round pro-wrestling legend, Kevin Nash. An integral part of the TNA roster since 2004, Kevin brings a wealth of experience to the promotion, having been a major star in WWE and WCW. He has been one of the most influential figures in modern wrestling history. He was elevated to the top of the WWE roster in record time, becoming one of the most popular champions of the 1990’s. He co-founded one of the most famous stables in wrestling history, the nWo. He has branched out into the film industry, starring in the 2005 blockbuster, The Longest Yard. He is now a veteran of TNA’s roster, he is Kevin Nash.” Regarding his health problems: “I was lucky that it wasn’t anything too severe. It was something that could be taken care of with a little bit of medication so.

now I’m not even on the medication.” He added: “Old age.” He was told he looked to be in the best shape of his career. “I do a lot more cardio work. And I don’t have as many of the ‘malted beverages’ every night as I used to. I’ve really cut down my beer, wine and stuff like that. So I’ve just kind of cleaned my life up a little bit, because I’ve got a little 10-year old boy I’d like to — at least watch him get married, if not more than that, but I’d like to be around for a while.” He said he hadn’t seen much of the new DX because his son isn’t much of a wrestling fan (insert joke here). “I saw a couple of the earlier ones, and I thought they were funny. But to me, that’s the real Paul Levesque, or the real Triple H, is that guy. That’s the Paul that I drove up and down the road with. He’s got a really dry, good sense of humour, and so does Shawn, so I think you have to have a really wide spectrum of things. The comedy’s one thing you have to have, given comedy like they do, it’s very entertaining for the fans.” He was asked about going back to WWE, and he said maybe for a short run, three or four months, but the days of being there long-term and living on the road were over. Regarding Hall: “I mean, the last time I talked to him he was fine, but when he doesn’t return calls it’s usually not a good sign. I pray he’s doing good.” He said the best thing he’s ever done, in or out of wrestling was Longest Yard. “I was probably the proudest of that. When I pass on, hopefully that’ll continue to be seen.” And regarding his legacy: “I don’t know. People that knew me, I’m sure they had a laugh if nothing else”.

TNA on July 20th did an 0.81 rating with a 1.07 in males 18-49, a 1.21 in males 18-34, and 1 million viewers. The bloom is off the rose.

Full TNA Hard Justice line-up for August 13th: Jeff Jarrett vs. Sting, perhaps in a cage match, for the NWA Title; Daniels & Styles vs. LAX for the World Tag Titles; Chris Sabin vs. Kevin Nash with the winner getting an X-Title shot (oh God); Gail Kim vs. Sirelda; Brother Runt vs. Abyss; and Monty Brown vs. Samoa Joe vs. Rhino.

Monty’s deal is up this fall and he may not re-sign. They certainly haven’t been using him in the manner you’d expect if they had big plans for him. WWE hasn’t ever shown much interest in the past, but God knows they need bodies these days. He would have to pass all the Wellness tests and such.

A Sting: Return of an Icon DVD will be out in October. Only TNA footage, of course.

TNA ran a house show in Jacksonville, NC on the 22nd with AJ Styles & Chris Daniels beating the James Gang in the main event. Lots of comedy, but not great wrestling. Said to be a good show. The official number is 1,824 in the building, but someone there claimed 600.

They also ran in Williamston, NC on the 21st with Samoa Joe beating AJ Styles in the main event. Didn’t hear how they drew, but probably similar.


Indies
Kanyon got a lot of press this week including a big article in the Southern Voice newspaper. He also got a gig dropping the puck at the finals of the Gay Games (a real thing) Hockey tournament. He wrote in his Myspace that he’s attempting to sell his Clearwater condo so he can move to Midtown Atlanta, and that he’s undergoing “mental therapy”. He claimed in one article that he battled depression and had attempted suicide twice. “Positive he was gay at age 11, Klucsarits lived a fearful life in the closet that led him down a path of depression. At one point, he suffered so badly that he says he was bedridden six days a week. On Sept. 14, 2003, after moving to a beach home in Clearwater, Fla., the wrestler took 50 sleeping pills. He says he woke up three hours later, vomited the toxic dosage and immediately started psychological therapy, in which he was diagnosed as bipolar.” The article also claimed: “Just last month, he says he again attempted suicide, this time preparing to jump from the top of a building before his roommate and brother saved his life.” Regarding his announcement that he was gay, he said: “The theory was to get publicity grown, get signed and make a real announcement by going on Howard Stern, or going on the Today Show or Oprah or wherever.” Yes, Oprah.

Chris Jericho’s wife gave birth to twins this week. Both girls, Cheyenne Lee and Sierra Loretta, were very premature, weighing 2 pounds 7 ounces and 2 pounds 5 ounces respectively. Jericho went from his play in Toronto to the hospital in Florida, then back to the play, then back to Florida when the play ended Sunday.

Stacy Kiebler’s WWE deal expired and she signed with Disney’s Touchstone TV studio. They’re working on some sort of TV project for her.


Japan
In a correction from last week, there were legit visa issues with Brock Lesnar, but the fallout was due to a number of issues. New Japan has basically told Lesnar to just go ahead and keep the title belt because they don’t want to deal with him anymore. New IWGP Champion Hiroshi Tanahashi said if he can win the G-1 tournament this year, he’ll take the money and buy a new belt.

Takashi Sugiura retained his GHC Jr. Title in a match in Germany this week, beating some dude named Murat Bosporus. Sounds like a great movie villain. Yoshinobu Kanemaru also worked the show, dropping a match to Emil Sitoci.

NOAH will be releasing an English version deluxe DVD of the July 16th Budokan show.

Main event of the final WAR show on July 27th at Korakuen Hall will be Genichiro Tenryu & Kouki Kitahara & Masao Orihara & Don Fuji vs. Shiro Koshinaka & Akitoshi Saito & Michiyoshi Ohara & Masahi Aoyagi.

The Hiroshi Hase retirement show on August 27th is still on. There was some talk that the whole thing would be axed due to the Arashi drug scandal (Hase is a member of the Japanese Diet and some felt it would be bad news if he associated with a company that had employed a pot smoker) (Japan is weird). They aired Hase’s July 23rd match on the GAORA TV show, but have yet to air the Taiyo Kea Triple Crown win over Satoshi Kojima.

Jumbo Tsuruta’s wife has stated that she’d like to do a tribute show of some sort next summer using talent from all the major companies. Well, it’ll be easier today to do that than at any other time in the past. One of Tsuruta’s five sons wants to get into the business, so this might be a good way to break him in. That’s quite the set of shoes to fill, though.

Toshiaki Kawada returns to All Japan on July 30th to face D-Lo Brown. August 27th he’ll be facing Kea for the Triple Crown.

Tiger Mask IV was married recently.

New Japan and Dragon Gate have discussed a talent exchange down the road. I suspect Dragon Gate will get the worst end of that bargain.

Yoshihiro Takayama is rumored to be working the August 13th New Japan Sumo Hall show.

Shinsuke Nakamura should be returning from his latest learning excursion to America soon.


Mexico
Scary situation on Friday at Arena Mexico before about 15,500 fans. During the main event (Los Perros vs. Rey Bucanero & Dr. Wagner Jr. & Negro Casas), Wagner clotheslined Hector right in the neck and Hector went down and didn’t move. There was initially concern that he was going to die in the ring or end up paralyzed. He was rushed to Hospital Alverno Obregon and admitted in stable condition. He was actually the second guy to end up in the hospital that night as Arkangel, who also works as a trainer at the Toryumon dojo, broke his ankle on the undercard. Thankfully, Garza will be fine. He was temporarily paralyzed from the neck down when he hit the mat on the back of his head, and everyone freaked out and overreacted. They kept him in the hospital over the weekend to run more tests, but it’s believed he’ll be back in action fairly soon. This is not the first person Wagner has hurt, and he did himself no favors with a lot of people by no-showing two shows at the Orange County Fair over the weekend (first night drew 10,000). To his credit, the instant the injury occurred he totally broke kayfabe, stopping the match and dropping down to tend to Garza until they got him out of the ring. Back in the day, such a thing would never have happened. After Garza was gone, the match continued. Aguayo pinned Bucanero with a foul, then immediately left for the hospital.

Mistico’s second match back at Arena Coliseo on July 18th drew 3,500. Crowds had been in the 1,500 range without him. On one hand, it’s impressive that he bumped the crowds up that high, but on the other hand that’s still only a 2/3 house. He teamed with Rey Bucaerno & Heavy Metal to beat Tarzan Boy & Averno & Mephisto.

AAA ran July 15th in Torreon before 7,000 with Octagon beating Zumbido two falls to one to retain the Mexican National Middleweight Title.

Hirooki Goto is headed to CMLL for an indefinite learning excursion.

Arena Puebla ran their 53rd Anniversary Show on July 17th which featured Los Perros del Mal beating Dos Caras Jr. & Mistico & Rey Bucanero, and MR. MEXICO BEATING KRAKEN IN A HAIR MATCH. KRAKEN~!~!!~~!~!~!~!~! Kraken was not the only movie villain to work the show as Lestat was on the undercard. Imagining Tom Cruise doing lucha in 1993 would have been funny, imagining it today is infinitely better.

El Brazo and Pirata Morgan are heading for a hair match.

July 23rd Arena Coliseo was headlined by Dos Caras Jr. beating Ultimo Guerrero in a singles match using the ropes (revenge for Guerrero doing it earlier).

Mark Jindrak, Johnny the Bull and Kenzo Suzuki are now teaming up (imagine such a thing) as La Legion Extranjera (the FOREIGN LEGION~!).

New best name of the week: KRIMINAL.

IWRG has a four-way match on Sunday. Veneno is putting his IWRG Intercontinental title on the line (most likely finish is a title change), Mr. Niebla is putting up his mask (as if) (and isn’t he out with a shoulder injury?), Misterioso II is putting up his mask (ditto) and Pantera is putting up his hair (possibility).

The cubsfan posted highlights from the Tijuana Box y Lucha regulations. They’re great. For example, there is the list of allowed match types that is sometimes very specific. For example, in a Battlas Campales Cibernetico match, you can have no less than 10 wrestlers but no more than 16. For a tournament of death, you can have no less than 8 and no more than 12. All promotions must have an EXPERT haircutter on the premises for hair matches, otherwise it’s a fine. Too bad the Washington State Commission didn’t have that rule or I might still be wrestling. If you lose your mask you must show your face to the crowd or both you and the promotion will get in TROUBLE. If you lose a mask, you can not put a new one on for at least two years. If you change your name the promotion must list your old name in the program. Wrestlers must pass a medical test and a WRESTLER COMPETENCY TEST. God damn I’d love to see folks like Pierroth trying to pass that test. The promotion must pay the medical costs for any wrestler injured in their ring. If someone no-shows, they must be replaced by “an equal or greater wrestler”. Outside the ring countout is 20, inside the ring countout is ten, you must break by THREE and not five in the ropes, a closed fist is illegal, the DREADED MARTINETE~! is illegal, a foule is illegal, a blow “to the nape of the neck” is illegal, and minis cannot face full-sized opponents. No draws allowed in any sort of stip matches. Title match opponents cannot have a weight difference in excess of 10 KG. State Champions must defend the belt every 45 days.


MMA
The original opponent for Bas Rutten after Kimo pulled out was Wes Sims, though that fell through. Sims is scheduled to main event the WEC tribute show for Ryan Bennett on July 28th and WFA didn’t want to screw that show up (the commission won’t allow a person to fight twice in seven days).

Kid Yamamoto is going back into training for the 2008 Olympics in amateur wrestling. Doing amateur and MMA training at the same time is historically bad news, so he’s done with MMA for the time being. This is potentially a huge blow to Heroes. He has to qualify in the All Japan Championships in November, though, so if he doesn’t do well he could be back fighting by New Year’s Eve.

Mirko Crocop in an interview somewhere reportedly said: “I will fight [in America] soon, maybe even this year in October. However, not in PRIDE or UFC but in another organization that has just started. Their offer is excellent and I’ll very likely accept it”.

Notes from a Bill Goldberg interview with Alex Marvez. Regarding whether he’d ever fight: “The thing that kept me from doing MMA fights, I’ve got more to lose that anybody who would step in the ring because of the persona I’ve built through wrestling. I’ve got nothing to prove to anyone on the planet. I don’t want to say I’m onto bigger and better things, but I’m doing a movie in L.A. right now and I signed a deal with Spike for another TV show. Being properly prepared and smart about it, I’d have to train for an extended period of time. It’s not a part-time business. I would say most of the guys who you step in the ring with have done just that for their entire life or the bulk of it. I’ve been hit in the head a lot, but I’m not stupid. I don’t want to enter into the ring as a pro as an amateur. I always took martial arts as a supplement to everything else I was doing, whether it would be football or wrestling. I’m just a big fan and enjoy it. I’m 39 and I’ve got a nine-week old boy at home. If I can make five times the amount of money to step into the ring to wrestle one night compared to getting into the MMA world and the Octagon or cage or whatever, the logical person is going to look at it and say it’s a no-brainer.” He said maybe if he was 21 he’d do this, but he’s 39. “I still think about it, so who knows? I’ve been a pro and would like to put another sport on my list. But I had to retire from football because of an injury. I think to do what I did in wrestling was a pretty tall feat. But I’ve got a reconstructed shoulder and have had two knee surgeries - and those are just the things that I’ve taken care of. God knows what I really need right now.” He said he was considering doing something with TNA because of the Spike tie-in. “I would love to help (TNA) out at the right time and right place, but it sure as hell would have to be for the right amount of money.” And that right there is the major issue, because he wants WCW Goldberg money, and they’re not paying that.

Kenny Florian posted the following message in response to rumors that he declined a fight with Sean Sherk. It’s so great I’m posting the entire thing: “First let me say, it saddens me that I don’t get a chance to come on here that often anymore. I hear the discussions have definitely evolved over the years and there is no longer trash talk or conspiracy theories about the major MMA organizations or fighters. I also hear there are a tremendous amount of UFC and fighter insiders here. The respect here for fighters that put there lives on the line and train so hard for all of us when they fight is also amazing. I was on this forum when it first started and I feel bad that one of my last posts here has to be this one but here it goes. Well, it looks like I screwed up. I lost my chance at a title because I was scared to fight Sherk. I apologize to Sherk for being scared but I have to be honest with myself. Like you guys, I am very impressed with Sherk’s physique and I am pretty scared about what Sherk supporters have been saying. When I was talking to Sherk’s guys the other day (they personally handle my fight decisions with the UFC) they were telling me how quickly Sherk will destroy me. I gotta admit, I was scared and I had to come up with some excuses to not fight him. I told the UFC I could not fight and now, not only am I out of the title shot, but I probably can’t fight at all in the UFC anymore. I have to apologize to the good fans of this sport and hopefully, I will find my competitive spirit again. To the real fighters out there like Nick Thompson (aka, kidpresentable) I admire your courage and hope to one day follow in your mighty footsteps. I guess it is back to the minor leagues for now. I will work hard and find my way back in the UFC. I just did not want my record to be tarnished. I care about my record too much. I do not like challenges and I really just do this to have a good record, look semi-cool and have something to brag to the chicks about. Quite frankly, I never really had any type of passion for doing this and I never took any risks in my life to do what I am doing now. I am hoping I will find the strength and skills to come back and fight in the UFC and not be afraid to fight a guy like Sherk. I am going to go watch some John Wayne movies and subscribe to Muscle & Fitness in an attempt to get more courage and possibly get some more fans. What guys don’t like John Wayne and muscles right??!! I want to thank the best MMA organization in the world, the UFC for all they have done for the sport and hopefully, I can come back and fight for them again one day. I thank you all for the support and good training to all of you”.

I should note that a couple of days after this was posted, there was a huge thread on Sherdog about how the Bas Rutten fight on the WFA show HAD to be a work because the two guys exchanged words during the fight. Bas actually got involved in the thread (he’ll eventually learn not to bother), and explained that Villareal told him early on that he hit really, really hard, so Bas told him, “Not hard enough.” He also wrote: “I will never EVER, do a work, never did either, please don’t start saying things like that. Like I exactly timed my punches so that I didn’t KO him, mmmm, now THAT sounds fishy”.

Odds for the WFA show courtesy Pinnacle Sports were Jackson -220 vs. Lindland +200; Salaverry -400 vs. Santore +360; Machida -800 vs. White +720 (long odds there); Rutten -600 vs. Kimo +540 (I don’t remember the final odds for Villareal, but on the day of the show Bas was -1000, which is crazy); McCullough -500 vs. Sarmiento +500; and Miller -600 vs. Sincaid +540.

UFC Ultimate Fight Night on August 17th from Red Rock Casino (yes, they got out of the goddamn Hard Rock) has Diego Sanchez vs. Karo Parysian and Chris Leben vs. Jorge Santiago.

Full line-up for the PRIDE Bushido show on August 26th from Nagoya has Kazuo Misaki vs. Dan Henderson, Akihiro Gono vs. Gegard Mousasi, Ryo Chonan vs. Paulo Filho, and Denis Kang vs. Amar Suloev in tourney matches, plus Tatsuya Kawajiri vs. Chris Brennan, Nobuhiro Obiya vs. Gilbert Melendez, Shinya Aoki vs. Jason Black, and Hatsu Hioki vs. Jeff Curran. Takanori Gomi and Ikuhisa Minowa also have fights against as-yet-unnamed opponents. The show airs the next day on Fox Sports Net as opposed to PPV. It’s also just a two-hour show, meaning a ton of matches will be cut or edited or both.

Read an interesting article by Thom Loverro in the Washington Post. It’s interesting because Loverro wrote the WWE-published ECW book and this article was about UFC. His conclusion was that UFC was on a roll, and boxing was on a role towards the grave. The usual Dana White timeline bullshit: “The first thing we knew we had to do was to get it sanctioned by all the major athletic commissions. We sat down with officials from Nevada and New Jersey in 2002, and we got that done. We felt we could go back to the cable industry then. The big problem the old UFC had was that Senator [John] McCain went after them because they refused to be sanctioned. We took the opposite approach and embraced sanctioning.” I should note that the New Jersey State Athletic Commission is now having their legal counsel send out letters to several major journalists making it abundantly clear that their was plenty of sanctioning before the Fertittas ever thought of buying the company.

Buckley Acosta, 27, a Newberry Springs MMA fighter, was booked last Tuesday and charged with illegal transport and possession of steroids (injectable testosterone in this case — NO ELEVATED LIVER ENZYMES HERE~!). US Customs officials tracked a package containing 12 syringes to a motorcycle shop in Barstow, where Acosta was arrested.

Line-up for the August 5th Heroes Light Heavyweight Tournament looks to be Kazushi Sakuraba vs. Kestutis Smirnovas (RINGS Lithuania) (seriously); Yoshihiro Akiyama vs. Kin Tai Ei (Seido Kaikan); Shungo Oyama vs. Rodrigo Gracie; and Carlos Newton vs. Melvin Manhoef. The Middleweight Tourney has Hideo Tokoro vs. Ivan Menjivar; Hiroyuki Takaya vs. J.Z. Calvan; Kazuya Yasuhiro vs. Rani Yahira; and Kaoru Uno vs. Black Mamba.

Chuck Norris was in Austin, TX last week to help promote the World Combat League, which will run its second show at the Erwin Center on September 22nd. He’s heavily involved with the group and helped get it started. He talked about the storyline where he worked as a bodyguard for Undertaker. “The reality was that Undertaker’s wife was pregnant, and he wanted four months off,” Norris said. “So, he got ‘beat up’ by 10 guys, and he was supposed to be injured. When he came back, he had a revenge match, and they hired me to be his bodyguard. The Undertaker was supposed to beat those guys up himself, and I had to have my back turned to the ring. So, I’m standing there, and there are 15,000 people in the arena screaming ‘Chuck! The ring!’ I didn’t care, I just didn’t want to get in that ring.” Granny loves Chuck Norris, I should note, and after reading that, who wouldn’t? WCL does a team format with penalties for passivity and three-minute rounds. Norris also talked about CHUCK NORRIS FACTS (do a Google search) and said his favorite one was “They tried to carve Chuck Norris’ face into Mount Rushmore, but the granite wasn’t strong enough for his beard”. What a great man.

Ricco was pulled from the WFA show Friday night and then put back on. Not sure what the story was. I asked someone from WFA and they didn’t know, but said it might have something to do with him recently having a kid. I figured this meant he’d weigh in the next day at 260, but I was wrong.


Bryan’s Friend Vince’s Tape Review and Karaoke Showcase

Vinny watches TV
I have no desire to watch pro wrestling right now. I mean, none. So I’m just going to flip channels for an hour and describe what I see. If you want wrestling content, skip to the next section. It is 1 a.m. Monday morning, and here’s what’s on.

First thing I turned on was ESPNEWS. The top story here is Tiger Woods’ victory in the British Open. I already watched this story at Bryan’s waiting for the Great American Bash to start, so I’m going to flip to something else.

Actually, before we begin, I have to say something. I’ve been a DirecTV customer for years and years, but I can not get DirecTV in my new apartment. You need a view of the southern sky to pick up the satellite signal. My porch actually faces due south, but it faces due south directly into a giant wall of trees. So no DirecTV for Vinny. This is TRAGIC news, because it means I can’t get the NFL Sunday Ticket package. This means I will be spending my Sundays all fall at crappy sports bars across the region. So that fucking sucks. Also, what I was going to say before I got on that rant, DirecTV has a feature where you can set up a channel list where only the channels you want to watch will show up when you’re flipping stations. I will never watch, for example, the Encore love movie channel, “RPLEX,” “BLKFAM,” or most of the other several hundred channels available to me. Actually, some of these aren’t even available to me. I don’t subscribe to the baseball package, and I never will, but there are still a dozen channels devoted to it taking up space in my channel list. Meanwhile, there are about two dozen stations that I will ever actually watch, and finding those is a ROYAL pain in the ass.

Oh, and we just got the bill for getting cable “installed” and it’s OUTRAGEOUS. “Installing” cable means connecting a small box to an outlet on the wall and the television via simple coaxial cables. Installing DirecTV meant an engineer had to come to my house (I just killed a bug on my computer screen) and risk his life climbing a big ladder to erect a satellite dish on the second story of my house. The cable installation fee was north of $100; the dish installation was free. So yeah, fuck cable.

Anyway, that rant filled 10 minutes. ESPNEWS covered golf, then moved on to an American, something Landis, winning the Tour de France. Yay. Cycling is still boring.

Come to think of it, what’s on “BLKFAM?” It’s the First Baptist Church of Sterling. The logo on the screen says this is, of course, the Black Family channel. This may not be my network. I have no family. I am not black. (Although, I fucking LOVE the Boondocks.) Anyway, this was a black preacher and his wife talking about how you can overcome any obstacle if you turn to Jesus. Yeah, great, moving on.

OH MY GOD! Discovery Channel is showing “Grizzly Man!” I’ve heard of this. This is a documentary about a guy who went off into the woods and hung out in very close contact with grizzly bears, until one day a bear killed and ate him and his girlfriend live on tape. (The lenscap was left on the camera). This is a true case of natural selection in action. The coroner is discussing how the remains of these two human beings were brought to him in plastic bags, and how on the tape he can clearly hear the cries and moans of the couple as they tried to fight off the bear with fryingpans. Someday I’ll sit down and watch this whole thing, but not right now.

Food Network is showing some cake baking competitions. Lame. I was hoping for Iron Chef or Emeril.

We’re at 1:18 a.m. right now. History Channel has a show on meteors that sounded exciting, but it’s all scientists digging in soil for clues. OK, they just redeemed themselves with a horrible CGI depiction of a giant meteor hitting the earth and eradicating the dinosaurs. Now an old German woman is talking about gradual species extinction. She does have a Tyrannosauras Rex skeleton over her shoulder, but I’m still turning the channel.

Nickelodeon has a Roseanne rerun. Darlene is in a fight with her boyfriend. Sweet God almighty, this show is awful. What happened? It was funny in 1992. I bet it’ll be funny when John Goodman shows up, but I can’t make it that long.

BOONDOCKS IS ON!!!.

BOONDOCKS IS OVER!!! Crap. And it was one I hadn’t seen before, where Granddad opened his own soul food restaurant. Well, maybe next week.

MSNBC is discussing the Israeli-Hezbollah conflict. To steal from Adam Carolla, hey everyone, trouble in the Middle East. All I have to say is that any Americans stupid enough to go to LEBANON and then be SHOCKED when a war breaks out, well, I don’t care too much whether or not they get rescued.

FX is showing “Secret Window.” Johnny Depp’s in it, so it’s got to be good. It’s a horror movie. Depp is playing an author who in this scene is being harassed by an old guy who may actually be Andy Griffith. Remember on Married: With Children when they went to Florida and ran into the Man Who Met Andy Griffith? That was a great episode. This movie actually seems kinda cool, but I see no need to jump in halfway through.

TBS is showing SWINGERS~!, a GREAT film. Sadly, I just missed the scene at the blackjack table. This is the part where Jon Favreau has to interrupt his friend, who is hooking up with a Vegas nightclub waitress, so he can use her phone to call his ex-girlfriend. This movie is NINE LEVELS OF AWESOME. But I’ve already seen it.

Comedy Central is showing Chappelle’s Show. I’ve only seen this show once or twice. There’s a skit going on where Frankenstein and the Mummy are upset with the Wolfman because he’s dating a white girl. OK, the part where Frankenstein loses his job due to his violent outbursts, then blames the whole thing on racism and tears a white dude’s arm off, is pretty funny. Actually, the longer this goes, the funnier it gets. I particularly like the line “Nigger, you’re Frankenstein.” The part where the mummy can’t hail a cab is less funny. Moving on.

Jewelry Television wants me to buy 10-karat 2-tone dangle earrings for $79.99. I’ll pass.

Something called Sprout is showing Barney & Friends. At 1:39 a.m. Somewhere in this city, someone has just finished another blunt and is singing along.

Nicktoons has a show called – this is true – “The Angry Beavers.” I don’t have enough room for all the jokes I could make here, so we’ll just move ahead.

G4 is doing a show live from the San Diego Comic Con, interviewing Joe Quesada, who is Editor-In-Chief or something at Marvel Comics these days. He says he’s more excited for the Iron Man movie than any of the movies they’ve ever done. Sounds like what an executive who wanted lots of people to see his movie would say. In the background, there were fans dressed as Spider-Man, Capt. Jack Sparrow, THE PHANTOM~! and Blue Beetle. Yes, there’s a Blue Beetle fan in San Diego. Oh, and there’s the world’s fattest Wolverine. Jesus, are the hosts of this show ever annoying. Hey, they’re talking Snakes On A Plane! And there’s SAMUEL L. JACKSON~! He encourages people watching his movie to grab fellow moviegoers at the scariest points of the film: “It’s dark in the theater. Nobody will know.” He also confirmed that the movie includes gratuitous nudity. I LOVE SAMUEL L. JACKSON. I may never watch this channel again.

Something called “LOGOP” is showing something called “U.S. of ANT.” The write-up: “Alabama; construction worker; gay minister; transgender woman.” (Dead bug on the monitor number two.) I just watched a black woman who used to be a black man but is now married to a white man discuss prejudice in the heterosexual and homosexual communities. Apparently “Ant” is an annoying gay male who has his own talk show. Whatever.

I can’t believe it took me 51 minutes to get to NFL Network. They’re doing a show on Jaguars’ training camp, followed by a Game Of The Week between Jacksonville and Pittsburgh. The GOW shows are SO SO AWESOME. But that’s not on yet.

DHC (Discovery Home?) is showing “Plastic Surgery: Before And After.” None of the plastic surgeries being discussed are breast implants. Next channel.

Hey, it’s a commercial for Dr. Drew’s show!.

Something called “ZEETV” is showing “Kashmir Ki Kali.” Maybe it’s Great Khali singing Led Zeppelin’s “Kashmir.” Ah, I’m not even subscribed to this channel! Why is it showing up on my channel list? So annoying.

We are in the middle of many foreign language channels I do not get.

National Geographic Channel is showing “Ultimate Enemies,” the story of the lion vs. elephant feud. This right here makes me wish I had HDTV. The lions, including their adorable new cubs, were minding their own business at the watering hole until this dickhead (fitting name, actually) elephant ran through and chased them all away. He even kicked dirt at them. What a great heel.

Speaking of channels I will never watch, here is Fox Soccer Channel, showing Sky Sports News. Oh wait, it just ended. Well, that was a fun little hour. We’ll be back next week with more fake fighting.

OK, I went to back the lion-elephant show while I revised this, and I saw something HORRIBLE. So this old elephant is going to the watering hole. But he’s too old, and finally just collapses. He lays there all day. At night, the lions come to investigate, and then proceeded to bite chunks out of his flesh, although he was NOT DEAD YET. He made feeble, futile attempts to fight them off, but they bit away a significant portion of his ass and left him. The next day, the elephant lay out in the boiling African sun, as insects crawled all over him, and he was STILL ALIVE. The lions returned for more. The elephant just moved his trunk back and forth as they, you know, ATE HIM. Another elephant showed up. It looked like he was going to make the save before he thought better of it and – I am not making this up – SLOWLY BACKED AWAY. So anyway, the real lesson here is that MOTHER NATURE IS A COLD-HEARTED BITCH.


Television Reviews

ECW on Sci-Fi
Show opened with Kelly’s striptease. She’s improving, at least. Mike Knox came out as usual, but this time he dragged her to the ring. She was delighted to be in front of the people. He told her he wanted to show her what happened to him last week all because of HER. Footage aired of Sandman caning the shit out of him. He said just because of that, she’d never take her clothes off in public again. Jesus, what will she do with her life otherwise? He sent her to the corner and told her to watch what he was going to do to Sandman. Knox vs. Sandman. Styles said this was an Extreme Rules match. I love how it’s absolutely, completely random what is an Extreme Rules match and what is not. They brawled for awhile and ended up outside by Kelly. Sandman wound up and swung, and Knox pulled Kelly in front. Sandman was actually very easy on her, thank God. Crowd chanted, “HOLY SHIT!” In the ring, Knox kicked Sandman in the nuts twice, which Styles noted was totally legal, and got the pin. Kelly sold it literally like she was dead, and they didn’t bother sending anyone out for her until long after the match was over. They loaded her on the stretcher, copped a feel or two, and that was that.

Paul came out flanked by the riot cops. WHOO-HOO!~! Looks like one of them will unmask as RVD in a few weeks. Paul was cutting a promo about his superior intellect when suddenly out came Tommy Dreamer. The riot guys were ready to take him out, but Paul told them to calm down. Dreamer said Paul owed the locker room an explanation, “and most importantly, you owe each and every one of these people who supported you and ECW an explanation.” I could have sworn he gave an explanation. So Paul calmly listened to his request, then suddenly lunged at him and kissed him right on the lips. Crowd freaked out. Test then hit the ring and laid out Dreamer with a big boot and the TKO. Heyman calmly left the ring and that was the end of that. The whole idea here was a spoof on the Godfather or Judas’ kiss to Jesus, the Kiss of Death. I think the other part of the idea is that Heyman figured out lesbian kisses aren’t shocking in 2006 like they were in 1996, whereas two dudes kissing will still draw shocked gasps.

Another whacky Balls Mahoney promo aired. Every time I watch one of those I feel like I’ve been sucked into a parallel dimension or something. So I guess he is a perfect fit for Sci-Fi.

Sabu vs. Stevie Richards. This was a rematch from their classic last week at Saturday Night’s Main Event. Stevie at least has a tan and is in good shape. This was not, in fact, an Extreme Rules match. So the crowd chanted for tables and got arm bars. Sabu won with the springboard tornado DDT and the camel clutch. There were some boos for the finish since the crowd didn’t get the Sabu match they wanted.

CM Punk is now an MMA fighter who focuses on wrestling.

The Vampire and the Fortune Teller are now going steady.

Big Show vs. Undertaker for the ECW Title. Tazz was going nuts about how this was by far the biggest ECW match since coming to Sci-Fi, and Joey said it was WrestleMania caliber. How quickly everyone forgot the Nature Boy. Crowd was into Undertaker and chanted his name. Match wasn’t much, though. They did every Undertaker vs. Big Show match you’ve ever seen. And I mean EVERY, because even though this was the main event of the ECW TV show, it was not, in fact, contested under Extreme Rules. Undertaker busted out all of his UFC-related offense which nobody in this crowd bought as a finish. Show hit a superplex, but Taker just sat up and hooked him for the chokeslam. They fought over and Show broke free. They ended up outside and that was the cue for THE GREAT KHALI to stumble out. Actually, it was the cue for Daivari to drag Khali down there. Khali couldn’t do a thing but had a hilarious strut. Both giants beat up Taker and double chokeslammed him through the announce table. I would presume that was a DQ but it was never made clear. Very lackluster show.


TNA Impact
Borash was outside Sting’s dressing room trying to get an update on his health. Didn’t we sort of get an update Sunday when he returned to finish the match? Jay Lethal walked out of the dressing room and Borash wanted to know if he was ready for his X-Division title match tonight. Lethal basically said that Sting had advised him to go for it all, therefore he’d be facing Jeff Jarrett for the World Title in the main event tonight. Borash said that would be news to Jeff.

Shane Douglas came out and introduced the newly franchised Naturals. Maverick Matt & Kazarian vs. Naturals. Matt wrote and performed their new theme song. It is as generic as any theme song you’ve ever heard. He has also cut his hair and it is not an improvement. In fact, it’s the old haircut Chris Sabin had before he decided to get a makeover. Matt has also put on some pudge since the last time we saw him. Crowd inexplicably chanted “LET’S GO BENTLEY!” The gimmick is that Douglas does not hang around ringside with his guys, he goes to the back and lets them fend for themselves. Naturals got the pin with their combo powerbomb/missile dropkick finish. I like how they couldn’t give the new team a victory because they needed to feed another team to the new Naturals. Douglas came out afterwards and chewed them out, saying their backs should never, ever have touched the canvas even once. This was a fine little opener.

Borash was in the back again trying to get info from Sting. Up walked Eric Young who wanted some sort of plan to get him not fired, or whatever the hell the deal is. Borash said he’d give him an idea, but then screamed that they needed to cut back to ringside. Jarrett and Steiner were at the announce table screaming at the announcers. Jarrett said this thing with Jay Lethal was ridiculous as the guy was trying to get into a “division he doesn’t even deserve to be in”. Someone is either intent on killing the X-Division or they’re just really damn stupid. Go ahead and take your pick.

The latest wacky Nash/Shelley deal aired. They were showing Big Kev tapes from around the world. Shelley said he was flying someone in from Madagascar next week – business class in fact – and Nash would have the opportunity to train with him. Nash was so happy he hugged and squeezed young Shelley really hard. This was fine entertainment.

Rhino, still super over, squashed an unnamed jobber in something like ten seconds. The place was going batshit. He said he’d thrown out an Extreme Challenge last week, and this jobber wasn’t the kind of competition he was looking for. Out came Samoa Joe. Rhino said he was ready to fight and wanted to know when Joe was ready for it. Crowd chanted “JOE IS GONNA KILL YOU!” Joe said he didn’t need to wait until the PPV, they could do it next week on Impact. Rhino said he didn’t even want to wait until next week. So Joe ran down towards him, but security jumped in and broke it up. Good, simple little angle, though a bit rushed. Case in point, they immediately cut backstage to an interview with Spike Dudley. I can’t tell if he’s more or less presentable in street clothes. Bubba said they hated losing, and they lost last week because of Spike. Bubba said they were leaving the company for awhile to regroup. He said they’d had a goal when they first came here and suffice to say it hadn’t come to fruition. Things just weren’t going right, he said. “We’ve been going real hard for twelve years like machines,” he said. Well, except for that year or so off that WWE gave them in 2004 and 2005. They said they were going to regroup and return to win the NWA Tag Titles. They told Spike to be careful, not get in trouble, and hey, maybe go for a shot at that X-Division title. Then they left. Interesting little segment.

Borash tried to interview AMW after commercial. They were bitching at each other. So Gail Kim of all people grabbed the mic. She said everyone’s problems boiled down to Sirelda. “If there’s one thing I hate, it’s a cheater!” she said. This was supposed to be a funny line, but it was funny for entirely different reasons. Apparently it’s Gail vs. Sirelda at the PPV. What a barn-burner that one will be.

AJ and Daniels came out. They cut a relatively boring promo about how they needed to prove the critics wrong and find a contender. They had a bunch of envelopes with team names on them. Konnan stood up and said he hadn’t heard LAX’s name in the mix. “Are you ducking us?” He said the two of them were overrated, had no balls and no heart. AJ told him to shut the hell up because there WAS an envelope for LAX. Konnan said everyone knew there was no contract in there. Daniels said he had proof, and pulled the contract out. Konnan said he couldn’t read it from there. So Daniels went to hand-deliver the contract to him. “You got a pen?” Konnan asked. This was LAX’s cue to come out and stomp a mudhole in Daniels and Styles. YAY! THIS IS A FEUD I’M EXCITED TO SEE!!! Daniels gigged. In the ring, Homicide KILLED AJ STYLES with the cop killa, now called the gringo killa. I mean, AJ landed right on his head and his body folded over. Outside the ring, Konnan used the blood from Daniels’ head to sign the contract. That was one awesome angle.

Larry showed up with a wig on. AWESOME. I love this show tonight. The best part was he didn’t acknowledge it nor did Borash. No sooner should I speak than Slick Johnson showed up and ruined the whole gimmick by doing this exaggerated, awful laughing.

Jeff Jarrett vs. Jay Lethal for the NWA Title. The fancy ring intros are always extra cool when the challenger is a young guy getting his first ever World Title shot. Amazingly, there was a dueling “LET’S GO LETHAL!” “LET’S GO JARRETT!” chant. Yes, let’s go JARRETT. For some reason, this reminded me of every ICW Title match I ever had with Tim Flowers. Young high-flying babyface going after the oldschool mat-based heel for the belt and the fans are clapping and chanting along and you know the young guy ain’t ever winning in a million years. At least, that’s the way I always looked at it. Scott Steiner came out to watch and interfere behind the ref’s back. Jarrett LAUNCHED him with a backdrop. Lethal did a dive onto Steiner and Steiner’s catch consisted of him allowing Lethal to land on him on the dive. Lethal did a dive off the top onto Jarrett and the fans totally bought it as a finish. Jarrett finally whacked Lethal with a pipe behind the ref’s back and hit a middle rope stroke for the pin. This was fine, FINE entertainment. YAY TNA! GREAT SHOW FOR ONCE THIS WEEK! Steiner HUMBLED Lethal afterwards, then Sting appeared in mid-ring to make the save. Security finally ran out to break it up. THUMBS UP! YEAH!!!


Smackdown
Show opened with Teddy Long explaining the deal with Mark Henry. When he said that Henry was hurt and would be unable to compete at the PPV, there were people who booed. He said he was going to announce the replacement, and suddenly out came Mr. Kennedy. You know, the same Mr. Kennedy that lost to Matt Hardy last week? Granted, they didn’t know Henry was going down, but still. He said Batista may be a former World Champion, but he wasn’t the one everyone was talking about. He said everyone was talking about him, Mr. Kennedy, and therefore he was challenging Batista for the PPV. Out came Big Dave looking dapper. Crowd chanted “BATISTA!” Big Dave told Teddy to go ahead and book that match. He said he had six months of hatred and anger built up, and since Mark Henry “hurt his knee”, he had no one to take it out on. “So I think Mr. Kennedy will do just fine.” I expect that match to be short and dominant, by the way. Mr. Kennedy wanted a handshake. Batista was going to give it to him, but then Kennedy pulled it away and bailed. There’s your build kids. Very lackluster. This was Kennedy’s big chance and he blew it.

Brian Kendrick vs. Kid Kash. Lots of indy whackiness early. JBL dropped a ZERO-One reference here, believe it or not (Kendrick was the junior champion at one point). Kash went to work on his knee. Someone chanted “BORING!” I can’t get upset with him because it was, in fact, boring in spots. JBL said this wasn’t a five star match, it wasn’t something you would remember, but it was effective. That sounds completely ineffective to me. He then said the ropes in WWE were not rope, but rather hard cable. What the fuck? Kendrick finally got a short comeback, as in, about 1% of the total time of this match, but the bad guys cut him off and Kash brainbustered him for the pin. Sucks to be London and Kendrick.

Teddy was trying to talk Chavo into coming out of retirement. Just then King Booker walked in. He was upset that Rey had hit him with the 619 at Saturday Night’s Main Event and wanted him in the ring tonight. Teddy, a promoter at heart, said no way, that match is on PPV. Booker said Sunday was Sunday, but this was all about respect. Long said he’d think about it. Chavo flipped out and couldn’t believe Teddy was even going to consider this. Booker told him to shut up or he’d beat him out of retirement. Chavo stormed off. DRAMA.

After commercial, Teddy met with Chavo and Rey about the Booker deal. Chavo was telling Rey he didn’t have to do this. Rey thought about it, then said of course he’d take the match. Chavo couldn’t believe this. Cole at the desk described this as intriguing. That is not the first word I’d use to describe this.

Torrie & Ashley vs. Michelle McCool & Krystal. I should note that Friday afternoon, WWE sent out a text saying, and I quote: “Kristal promises that she and Michelle will unveil the hottest wrestling gear in Smackdown history in their tag team match tonight on Smackdown.” Yes, IN HISTORY. Michelle was wearing a red top and black spandex shorts. Krystal was wearing a pink top and black hotpants with the ass cut out to reveal her underwear. OK, it pains me to say this but Kristal actually did look super hot in that outfit. So anyway, the match was horrifying. JBL appeared to have fallen asleep at one point because he didn’t say anything for about ten seconds. Ashley tore up Krystal’s shirt, then pinned her with a schoolgirl. For historical purposes, today, July 21st, 2006, is the day I totally turned the corner on Young Krystal. WHAT A FUCKING BABE.

After commercial we returned to reality with the GREAT KHALI standing there in the ring. Daivari hyped up the Punjabi Prison match. “The most brutal encounter ever seen in the Western World!” he proclaimed. That may very well be true. He said the only way to win was to escape. Then they showed a long Khali vs. Undertaker video package. Yee haw.

Miz interviewed Bobby Lashley, who said Finlay wasn’t the only one who liked to fight.

Finlay vs. Lashley for the US Title in a rematch from last week. Lashley went all amateur on him early. This was one of those rare moments where it strikes you that this man could kill you if he wanted to. He needs WAY more moments like this. Crowd chanted “LET’S GO LASHLEY~!” Finlay suddenly went down and claimed he had an elbow injury. He teased this forever before finally jumping Lashley and revealing that he was playing possum. The ref yelled at him. This reminds me of another one of my favorite wrestling stories, once again lucha related. One day many years ago I was watching a match with Los Infiernos, the captain of which was the evil Satanico. They were having a match with three geeks, I don’t remember who, and it was split one fall apiece. Suddenly, as the ref’s back was turned, Satanico fell down on his back, grabbed his balls and started kicking his feet. The ref turned around, assumed he’d been FOULED, and was about to ring the bell. I’m not sure if the second ref revealed the ruse or what, but the point is that it was determined that Satanico hadn’t actually been fouled, so the ref, outraged, DQ’d him. Satanico was, in fact, disqualified FOR LYING. Don’t fuck around south of the border. So anyway, these guys had a pretty good match. It was slow in parts and should have been better, but with that said a lackluster Finlay match is still better than 90% of the stuff you’re going to see anywhere. Crowd chanted something, either “ECW!”, “FINLAY SUCKS!” or “VINNY SUCKS!” Take your pick. Lashley made his big comeback, but then Regal hit the ring. Lashley dragged him into the ring and Regal was there right in front of the referee, and somehow this was not a DQ. Finlay unleashed the Little Bastard on young Lashley, and somehow the ref, who was still dealing with Regal, didn’t see or hear anything. Lashley made his big comeback and there was this black lady in the crowd who was VERY excited. Finlay took off a corner pad, and as the ref was putting it back Regal threw in a chair. Lashley punched it into his face, but then Regal hit the ring with another chair and the referee finally called for the bell. Gotta love the cheap finishes. Lil’ Bastard gave Lashley a low-blow, then Finlay clonked him with his gimmick and left him laying. Finlay’s face was busted up hardway, I should note, and that really added a lot to this angle.

YAY! DIVA SEARCH TIME!!! I can tell you right now it’s coming down to Rebecca or Maryse. Without question. Otherwise this is all rigged. They all had 30 seconds to dance to stripper music. Jen went first. She was better than Kelly, but not much better. Folks booed. Layla was next. She booed before she even got started. This girl can dance like no one’s business since that’s what she does for a living. Less people booed when she was done. Erica, the most generic blonde left, was next. She was, no shit, significantly worse than Kelly. Crowd booed vociferously. Maryse was next. She did a lot of strutting and mat humping. She looks too much like an Ashley clone. In other words, she’s in trouble. Malena was next. She took her top off and danced around in her bra, so the crowd cheered her afterwards. I liked how they played a doorbell song when the 30 seconds was up. Rebecca was next. She was wearing a cowboy outfit that she proceeded to take off. He bra read “WANT MILK”. JT TITTY~! was last. I’m disappointed to know that we don’t have one legit stripper in this whole group. Oh well. So the fans got to choose the winner and they chose Malena of all people. Welcome to the Hispanic show. This Diva Search is so boring this year. We need fuckups and strippers.

A meeting occurred backstage with Sylvan the Frenchman, Funaki the Asian, Tatanka the Indian, and Matt Hardy the Jobber. This was so whacky and so great.

Super Crazy vs. Psicosis. Gregory Helms, who is apparently still the Cruiserweight Champion, was out there doing commentary. Remember when the idea of Psicosis facing Super Crazy would have been exciting? Now it’s a match nobody cares about and isn’t even very good. It’s really sad because didn’t we just see a show like two weeks ago where these guys were in three segments each? JBL said both of these men had been “Lucha Champions”. Both guys turned it up in the last minute or so. Helms on commentary was something else, let me tell you. Like a guy on an indy show that had never been behind a mic in his life. Crazy won, then Helms stood up and said neither of them could beat him for the belt. So I guess it’ll be a three-way at the PPV and Psicosis will pin Crazy to win the belt.

Another deal of Vito shopping aired. Yay.

Rey vs. Booker. For the second week in a row, Rey Misterio got less time for his main event than Big Fucking Show did on a show half as long. Crowd chanted “EDDY!” as Booker got the heat. Sharmell and Booker are the greatest team in the world. Booker’s wrist tape read “KING”. Indeed. Rey finally hit a bulldog and made his big comeback. JBL was putting Rey over like a million bucks. Too little too late, buddy. Crowd was into the finish. Rey went for the 619 but Sharmell tripped him up. Tons of heat for that. Booker hit the uranage but Rey got his foot on the bottom rope. Chavo then tripped up Booker, allowing Rey to hit the 619 and springboard legdrop for the pin. Place went nuts. I’m afraid to think what’s going to happen to the Smackdown rating once Booker wins the belt on Sunday. May not be pretty. Good, albeit confusing finish to the show.


Guerreros del Ring
Ultimo Guerrero & Pierroth & Olimpico vs. Wagner & Dos Caras Jr. & Lizmark Jr. Guerrero ripped off Caras’ mask early. I mean, he took his whole mask off and there was his face right there for an instant. If I cared enough, I could have rewound and paused it and seen what Dos Caras Jr. looked like, but I didn’t care enough. He’d be just as mysterious to me without the mask as with it. I mean, it’s not like I’d yell, “Hey, I KNOW that guy!” Pierroth is reaching Super Porky levels of fatness these days. Since losing his last hair match he’s bleached his hair blonde. He’s utterly immobile. Bad guys took the first fall after making Caras submit. Second fall featured tons of fantastically slow wrestling, and it didn’t all involve Pierroth (though much of it did). Lizmark took the worst bump into the corner that I ever saw, and keep in mind I watched PUNJABI PRISON~! last night. Pierroth followed it up with the worst going head-first into a chair I’ve ever seen in 11 years of doing this newsletter. None of these things are exaggerations. Pierroth actually took a powerbomb to drop the second fall. How about that? Olimpico looked like an Olympian from the 1956 Summer Games. It picked up as usually happens in fall three, but there were too many shitty guys for it to become truly great. Caras went for his press slam into a German suplex (actually a really cool spot), but Guerrero FOULED~! him behind the ref’s back and got the pin. VIVA LOS RUDOS~!.

Rey Bucanero vs. Atlantis. Bucanero pinned him with a horizontal cradle within seconds. Atlantis took the second fall with the Atlantida. I suspect this match has been heavily edited because there’s no way the first two falls zoomed by that fast. Crowd was going crazy for the nearfalls. It’s funny because in America, during the nearfall segments the referee will be moving a million miles per hour in a very dramatic manner, whereas in Mexico the refs are six thousand years old and very slowly meander into position, drop down to a knee, and then nonchalantly start counting. There is an utter lack of drama, but the people go insane for it. Bucanero hit a brutal piledriver-type spot (not a piledriver, though, as that would be a DQ), and Ultimo Guerrero pulled the referee out of the ring. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that in Mexico. Amazingly, this was not a DQ. I figured Olimpico would be DQ’d and Guerrero would be fined and suspended by the Commission. That was so weird. Atlantis then took advantage of the distraction and got the pin with a powerbomb using the ropes. That was too Americanized for me.


Raw
Show opened with Shawn coming out alone to the DX music. He said a few weeks ago he and HHH pulled a bit of a prank on the McMahons. He said they told him that one Stephanie McMahon had gone into labor. Well, he said, that was a lie. Life often imitates art, though, because at this very moment Stephanie McMahon was in a hospital in Connecticut giving birth to her first child. There were scattered screams. At her side were her father Vincent Kennedy McMahon and her brother Shane McMahon. But unbeknownst to them, he said, his partner in crime, HHH, was at this very moment in that same hospital. Somehow, he said, Hunter had an inside scoop into this whole pregnancy thing. People laughed. He said between him and everyone else, “I think he knows who the father is.” He said even though only half of DX was here, he promised to deliver twice the fun. Out came Coach, who tragically has new music. He said Shawn wasn’t going to run amok tonight because Mr. McMahon had put him, Coach, in charge. He said he was the only person in the world who had Vince on speed dial. Shawn grabbed the phone and was supposedly being all whacky with Vince. More hijinx ensued. Coach took the phone back and after a short conversation revealed that Shawn would be having a match tonight on Raw. “Let me guess,” Shawn said. “Me against the Spirit Squad five on one, right?” Coach said no, it was actually going to be Shawn vs. Coach. Shawn responded with a completely blank look, which was the best possible response he could have given. The man is a born actor. Then he erupted into hysterics. I take back what I said. He laughed for too long. This was whacky.

Spirit Squad vs. Highlanders for the WWE Tag Team Titles. Kenny and Mikey defended the belts this evening. I wonder if Vince and the crew were watching this show from the hospital? Someone held up a thumbs up sign. I knew Foley would get over as a babyface with those promos. Highlanders made their big comeback and went for their finish, but the rest of the crew hit the ring behind the ref’s back and broke it up. Kenny then hit his finish for the pin. Looks like the Squad got a short stay of execution. I give them three weeks.

FOLEY WAS BACK IN THE WWE STUDIOS!!! You know, Foley’s promos since the beginning of this feud were always good, but I felt they were missing something. No more. The missing piece was a thumbs up and a YEAH~! This was one of his best yet. He said he’d see Ric Flair next week on Raw. FIVE STAR SHOW SO FAR. YEAH~!!.

This Week in History was Flair vs. Funk from 1989 with Gary Hart making a special appearance. This was historic, Flair won CLEAN. He was FORTY when this happened, kids, and people (well, a couple of stupid people) thought he was over the hill then.

Flair came out live. “Oh my God Mick Foley did you see what I just did to your hero Terry Funk?” He said this wasn’t about his age or how fat Foley was, it was about being the man. He said he wanted Foley in a match anywhere, anytime. He said he wanted him to be half the man he (Flair) was every day of his life. He’d have to lose 200 pounds to do that. Edge and Lita came out to distract Flair, allowing Johnny Nitro to hit the ring and ambush him. While watching this, I had totally forgotten that Edge was champion and I also didn’t even recognize Nitro. Cena hit the ring to make the save. That would be a fun tag match.

Carlito was hitting on Trish backstage. He whispered sweet Spanish nothings in her ear. The man is smooth. Well, until Trish said, “I don’t speak Spanish.” BURN~! He asked if they could hang out after his match.

Coach was on the phone with Vince, and sure enough the main event was signed, Edge & Nitro vs. Flair & Cena. Edge hated this idea.

Todd Grisham came out. He’d just been given word that Steph had given birth to a baby girl, Aurora Rose, 8 pounds, 7 ounces. There was a mild pop. I like how Coach was supposedly just on the phone with Vince, literally seconds prior, and wasn’t given this news.

Lillian is back. She said the following match would be to determine the number-one contender to the Intercontinental title. Shelton Benjamin vs. Carlito. NO. FUCK YOU GUYS. They had the same shitty match I’ve seen seriously 15 times in the last four weeks. No one in the crowd gave a shit either. The highlight of this match was actually when a fan in the crowd held up a child, as if to display it to the World. I actually fast-forwarded through about three minutes of this match. I gladly admit it. Carlito hit the back cracker and Ross said that was the second week in a row Benjamin had tasted that move. Second? Try fifth, MINIMUM. Shelton undid the corner pad, then Carlito backdropped him and totally removed it. Shelton won after intense botchery. I refuse to speak any more of this fucking feud.

The Hulkster came out and got one of his insane ten minute reactions. Lawler said this was the biggest ovation he’d ever witnessed. Yeah, ever, in his life. Ross didn’t even acknowledge that statement. Hogan finally spoke, saying Orton came out on SNME and talked about respect, but the truth was that he didn’t respect anyone. He said back in the day he had a lot of runarounds with Bob Orton Jr., but at the end of the day, after their battles were over, the two guys respected each other. Randy, however, was a different story. Therefore, at SummerSlam, he’d have to be HUMBLED~! Orton came out to interrupt. He said he didn’t come out to talk about respect, he came out to talk about Brooke. Hogan didn’t want to hear this. Orton said he met her at SNME and there was clearly a large amount of chemistry there. Crowd was loudly chanting “HOGAN!” This was straight out of 1985. He said Brooke talked about how handsome Randy was and what pretty eyes he had, and that it was too bad he was going to have to kill her father. Hogan said he had his gear on, so they could just do it right now. Orton walked down the ramp, and teased getting into the ring for a long time. He shoved Lawler at one point, so Lawler grabbed him and tossed him into the ring. Hogan punched him twice and went for the big boot, but Orton grabbed the ropes and slid outside. I can’t believe they touched before the PPV. At least Orton didn’t take the boot like Shawn did last year the week before SummerSlam. Still, this is so ass-backwards.

Mickie James vs. Candace. Mickie actually applied a long chinlock early. A CHIN LOCK, IN THIS MATCH. No heat. Candace even did her dance and no one cared. She went for a high cross off the top – seriously – and Mickie rolled through and grabbed a handful (I accidentally wrote “handfuck” initially, but felt the standards of this publication were such that this word must not appear herein) of tights for the pin. Candace was distraught afterwards. That makes two of us.

Shawn Michaels came out and cut a promo. What’s he doing back? Oh, he’s doing the DX ring intro. Coach’s music cut him off. Here we go. HBK vs. Coach. Shawn went outside before the match and found a leather hat. Lawler and Ross were both utterly confused as to what this hat was or why he was wearing it. Well, I don’t know either. Shawn pantsed Coach, took a thumb to the eye, switched into the flying forearm, and made his usual comeback. Spirit Squad hit the ring after the flying elbow. This was not a DQ. Shawn cleared the ring of all of them, but then Umaga hit the ring and basically threw Shawn into a Samoan drop. This, in fact, was a DQ. Umaga thumb’d him afterwards and Shawn sold it like a king. I’m fine with this. I think they’ll have a pretty damn good match.

The lovely Maria interviewed Cena. This was a fun promo. Cena basically said without saying so that Hunter was the father, they were running this fucking show on the fly and it was total chaos (he even used that word, and also “ballyhoo”). He talked about all the whacky segments and cornball goofballs we’d seen so far, and it was grand. The point of this, after literally like four minutes, was that he was teaming with Ric Flair in a few minutes. The only thing he didn’t acknowledge was that he needed to burn some time.

DIVA SEARCH IDIOCY~! Maryse was eliminated. Didn’t think she’d go this early. The other generic blonde who is so generic that I have no idea what her name is and probably never will was terrified that it was going to be her. She’s the one that danced worse than Kelly Kelly on Smackdown. Miz said this Friday on Smackdown it would be DIVA MUSICAL CHAIRS~! Here’s something we need to get on Youtube, or at the very least on a WWE DVD release: That one segment on Raw where they did musical chairs and Ric Flair fucking stole the show. God damn that was awesome.

Flair & Cena vs. Edge & Nitro. First minute or two of this match was tons of fun with Flair chopping the crap out of everyone, then the good guys tossing the bad guys outside. After commercial, they were working over Cena. Lita and Melina were both at ringside. Flair got the hot tag and put Nitro in the figure four. Edge made the save, then tagged in and speared Flair. Cena broke it up and they went to work on the Nature Boy. For being his age and having lived his life and having worked so many matches and taken so many backdrops, Ric Flair is freakin amazing. Cena got the hot tag and ran wild. This may have been the biggest babyface response Cena has gotten in ages. Almost no boos whatsoever. Lita and Melina took the ref and Edge clonked Cena with a chairshot. Nitro covered but Cena kicked out. He put Nitro in the STFU right in the center of the ring. Edge tried to make the save but Flair grabbed his foot and prevented it. Nitro tapped and the place went haywire. That was a great main event right there. Good show overall.


FRANK A GOTCH'S FLYING MARE WREFTLING NEWS-LETTER
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Wrestler concerned that cod liver oil may affect his enzymes
MUSCLE BEACH — Indy wrestler Stan Burkowski expressed concerned Monday that his intake of cod liver oil might adversely affect his liver enzyme count and thus prevent him from ever getting his dream job with WWE. “I’ve been taking cod liver oil ever since I read the dieting advice in Gene Lebelle’s Big Book of Finishing Holds,” Burkowski said. “It’s really helped my workouts, but with all this news about elevated liver counts and suspensions in WWE, I don’t know if I should keep taking it.” Burkowski said he’d try taking powdered desiccated Argentine beef liver for awhile instead. “The powdered form may be safer,” he noted. “I don’t want to take any chances.”

Khali comments on being pulled from Bash
STAMFORD, CT — WWE.com today caught up with the Great Khali to get his thoughts on Teddy Long pulling him from his match at the Great American Bash Sunday. “Undertaker,” Khali began. “Das talla mente ari bawoom! Ayah! Chasla lagoss adjuring forasan! Chaya tu Takah!” Khali added that lu lest on piss, and concluded: “YAAAAAAAAH”

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WWE SmackDown Tag Team Championship
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
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This article is about the current male championship on the SmackDown brand. For WWE's other tag team championships, see WWE Tag Team Championship.
WWE SmackDown Tag Team Championship
WWE SmackDown Tag Team Championship.png
The SmackDown Tag Team Championship belt
Details
Promotion	WWE
Brand	SmackDown
Date established	August 23, 2016
Current champion(s)	The Hardy Boyz
(Jeff Hardy and Matt Hardy)
Date won	April 9, 2019
Statistics
The WWE SmackDown Tag Team Championship[1] is a professional wrestling world tag team championship created and promoted by the American professional wrestling promotion WWE on the SmackDown brand. It is the eighth overall male tag team championship to have existed in the WWE. The title is one of two male tag team championships for WWE's main roster, along with the Raw Tag Team Championship on the Raw brand. The current champions are The Hardy Boyz (Jeff Hardy and Matt Hardy), who are in their first reign.

Unveiled on the August 23, 2016 episode of SmackDown Live, it was created to be the counterpart title to the then-WWE Tag Team Championship, which became exclusive to Raw as a result of the 2016 WWE draft.[2] That title was subsequently renamed after the crowning of the inaugural SmackDown Tag Team Champions, Heath Slater and Rhyno.


Contents
1	History
1.1	Inaugural tournament
2	Reigns
3	References
4	External links
History

The inaugural SmackDown Tag Team Champions Rhyno (left) and Heath Slater (right)
Following the reintroduction of the WWE brand extension and subsequent draft on July 19, 2016, then-WWE Tag Team Champions The New Day were drafted to Raw, leaving SmackDown without a tag team championship. Over the course of the following month, SmackDown general manager Daniel Bryan stated that he wanted to build up the tag team division before introducing a championship. Immediately following SummerSlam on the August 23, 2016 episode of SmackDown Live, Bryan and SmackDown commissioner Shane McMahon introduced the SmackDown Tag Team Championship (Raw's title was subsequently renamed). An eight-team tournament was then scheduled to determine the inaugural champions, culminating in a final match at Backlash on September 11, 2016.[3][4][5] The team of Heath Slater and Rhyno defeated The Usos (Jey Uso and Jimmy Uso) in the tournament final to become the inaugural champions.[6]

When unveiled, the championship belt design was nearly identical to the Raw Tag Team Championship, with the differences being that the leather straps were blue as opposed to the former's original black with a different stitching pattern, and the plates were silver as opposed to the former's original bronze. The Raw Tag Team Championship belt design was updated on December 19, 2016, with silver plates on red straps to bring both sets of titles more in line with each other.

Inaugural tournament
Quarterfinals
SmackDown (8/23, 8/30)[3][4]			Semifinals
SmackDown (9/6)[5]			Final
Backlash (9/11)

American Alpha
(Chad Gable and Jason Jordan)	Pin
Breezango
(Fandango and Tyler Breeze)	10:13
American Alpha†	Pin
The Usos	0:28
The Usos
(Jey and Jimmy Uso)	Pin
The Ascension
(Konnor and Viktor)	3:49
The Usos	10:02
Heath Slater and Rhyno	Pin
The Hype Bros
(Mojo Rawley and Zack Ryder)	Pin
The Vaudevillains
(Aiden English and Simon Gotch)	2:50
The Hype Bros	7:03
Heath Slater and Rhyno	Pin
The Headbangers
(Mosh and Thrasher)	2:54
Heath Slater and Rhyno	Pin
† After Chad Gable suffered a storyline injury after defeating The Usos, American Alpha were removed from the final. The Usos then defeated The Hype Bros at Backlash in a second chance tag team match to replace American Alpha in the final.

Reigns
Main article: List of WWE SmackDown Tag Team Champions
As of April 20, 2019, overall there have been 14 reigns between 8 teams, and 17 individual champions. The team of Heath Slater and Rhyno were the inaugural champions. The Usos (Jey Uso and Jimmy Uso) hold multiple records with the championship: they have the most reigns at four (both as a team and individually), they are the longest-reigning champions at 182 days for their third reign, and they have the longest combined reign at 381 days (380 days as recognized by WWE). The Miz and Shane McMahon have the shortest reign at 21 days. The oldest champion is Shane McMahon, winning the title at 49 years old, while the youngest is Jason Jordan when he won it at 28.

The Hardy Boyz (Jeff Hardy and Matt Hardy) are the current champions, in their first reign both individually and as a team. They won the titles by defeating The Usos (Jey Uso and Jimmy Uso) on April 9, 2019 in Brooklyn, New York on SmackDown Live.

References
 "SmackDown Tag Team Championship". WWE. Retrieved December 24, 2017.
 Martin, Adam. "Daniel Bryan to reveal two new championships exclusive to Smackdown tonight from Connecticut". wrestleview.com. Retrieved August 23, 2016.
 Parks, Greg. "8/23 WWE Smackdown LIVE – Parks's Complete, Real-Time Report". Pro Wrestling Torch. Retrieved August 23, 2016.
 Caldwell, James. "8/30 WWE Smackdown Live Results – CALDWELL'S Complete Live TV Report & Talking Smack-cap". Pro Wrestling Torch. Retrieved August 30, 2016.
 Caldwell, James. "9/6 WWE Smackdown LIVE – Parks's Ongoing, Real-Time Report". Pro Wrestling Torch. Retrieved September 6, 2016.
 Caldwell, James. "9/11 WWE Backlash Results – CALDWELL'S Complete PPV Report". Pro Wrestling Torch. Retrieved September 11, 2016.
External links
Official SmackDown Tag Team Title History
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Current championships in WWE
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WWE SmackDown Tag Team Champions
Categories: WWE championshipsTag team wrestling championshipsWWE SmackDown
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~~


List of WWE SmackDown Tag Team Champions
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Jump to navigationJump to search
This article is about the list of WWE's tag team champions with the current championship on the SmackDown brand. For other championships, see WWE Tag Team Championship.

Current champions The Hardy Boyz
The WWE SmackDown Tag Team Championship is a professional wrestling world tag team championship contested in WWE on the SmackDown brand. Unveiled on the August 23, 2016 episode of SmackDown Live, it was created to be the counterpart title to the then-WWE Tag Team Championship, which became exclusive to Raw as a result of the 2016 WWE draft and was renamed to Raw Tag Team Championship.[1]

The championship is generally contested in professional wrestling matches, in which participants execute scripted finishes rather than contend in direct competition. The inaugural champions were Heath Slater and Rhyno, who won the title in a tournament final at Backlash on September 11, 2016. The Hardy Boyz (Jeff Hardy and Matt Hardy) are the current champions in their first reign. They won the titles by defeating The Usos (Jey Uso and Jimmy Uso) on April 9, 2019 in Brooklyn, New York on SmackDown Live.

Overall, there have been 14 reigns between 9 teams, and 18 individual champions. The Usos (Jey and Jimmy) hold multiple records with the championship: they have the most reigns at four (as a team and individually), they are the longest-reigning champions at 182 days for their third reign, and they have the longest combined reign at 381 days (380 days as recognized by WWE). The team of The Miz and Shane McMahon have the shortest reign at 21 days. The oldest champion is Shane McMahon, winning the title at 49 years old, while the youngest is Jason Jordan when he won it at 28.


Contents
1	Reigns
2	Combined reigns
2.1	By team
2.2	By wrestler
3	See also
4	References
5	External links
Reigns
Key
No.	Overall reign number
Reign	Reign number for the specific champion
Days	Number of days held
Days
recog.	Number of days held recognized by the promotion
+	Current reign is changing daily
No.	Champion	Championship change	Reign statistics	Notes	Ref.
Date	Event	Location	Reign	Days	Days recog.
1	Heath Slater and Rhyno	September 11, 2016	Backlash	Richmond, VA	1	84	83	As a result of the 2016 WWE draft, the WWE Tag Team Championship became exclusive to Raw. In response, SmackDown established the SmackDown Tag Team Championship; Raw's title was subsequently renamed.
Slater and Rhyno defeated The Usos (Jey and Jimmy Uso) in the tournament final to become the inaugural champions.	[2]
2	The Wyatt Family
(Bray Wyatt, Luke Harper, and Randy Orton)	December 4, 2016	TLC: Tables, Ladders & Chairs	Dallas, TX	1	23	23	Wyatt and Orton won the match, but Harper was also recognized as champion under the Freebird Rule.	[3][4]
3	American Alpha
(Chad Gable and Jason Jordan)	December 27, 2016	SmackDown	Rosemont, IL	1	84	83	This was a fatal four-way tag team elimination match, also involving Heath Slater and Rhyno, and The Usos (Jey and Jimmy Uso).
Luke Harper and Randy Orton represented The Wyatt Family and were last to be pinned.	[5]
4	The Usos
(Jey and Jimmy Uso)	March 21, 2017	SmackDown	Uncasville, CT	1	124	123		[6]
5	The New Day
(Big E, Kofi Kingston, and Xavier Woods)	July 23, 2017	Battleground	Philadelphia, PA	1	28	27	Kingston and Woods won the match, but Big E was also recognized as champion under the Freebird Rule.	[7]
6	The Usos
(Jey and Jimmy Uso)	August 20, 2017	SummerSlam	Brooklyn, NY	2	23	23	Match aired live on WWE Network and YouTube as part of the SummerSlam Kickoff show.
Big E and Xavier Woods represented The New Day.	[8]
7	The New Day
(Big E, Kofi Kingston, and Xavier Woods)	September 12, 2017	SmackDown	Las Vegas, NV	2	26	25	This was a Sin City Street Fight.
Big E and Kingston won the match, but Woods was also recognized as champion under the Freebird Rule.	[9]
8	The Usos
(Jey and Jimmy Uso)	October 8, 2017	Hell in a Cell	Detroit, MI	3	182	182	This was a Hell in a Cell match.
Big E and Xavier Woods represented The New Day.	[10]
9	The Bludgeon Brothers
(Harper (2) and Rowan)	April 8, 2018	WrestleMania 34	New Orleans, LA	1	135	135	This was a triple threat tag team match, also involving The New Day (represented by Big E and Kofi Kingston).
Harper was previously known as Luke Harper.	[11]
10	The New Day
(Big E, Kofi Kingston, and Xavier Woods)	August 21, 2018	SmackDown	Brooklyn, NY	3	56	55	This was a No Disqualification match.
Kingston and Woods won the match, but Big E was also recognized as champion under the Freebird Rule.	[12]
11	The Bar
(Cesaro and Sheamus)	October 16, 2018	SmackDown 1000	Washington, D.C.	1	103	102	Big E and Xavier Woods represented The New Day.	[13]
12	The Miz and Shane McMahon	January 27, 2019	Royal Rumble	Phoenix, AZ	1	21	21		[14]
13	The Usos
(Jey and Jimmy Uso)	February 17, 2019	Elimination Chamber	Houston, TX	4	51	51		[15]
14	The Hardy Boyz
(Jeff Hardy and Matt Hardy)	April 9, 2019	SmackDown	Brooklyn, NY	1	11+	11+		[16]
Combined reigns

Record four-time champions The Usos, who are also the longest single and combined reigning SmackDown Tag Team Champions

Three-time champions The New Day (Big E (center), Kofi Kingston (right), and Xavier Woods (left)), who defended the titles under the Freebird Rule
As of April 20, 2019.

By team
†	Indicates the current champion
Rank	Wrestler	No. of
reigns	Combined days	Combined days
recognized by WWE
1	The Usos
(Jey and Jimmy Uso)	4	380	379
2	The Bludgeon Brothers
(Harper and Rowan)	1	135
3	The New Day
(Big E, Kofi Kingston, and Xavier Woods)	3	110	107
4	The Bar
(Cesaro and Sheamus)	1	103	102
5	American Alpha
(Chad Gable and Jason Jordan)	1	84	83
Heath Slater and Rhyno	1	84	83
7	The Wyatt Family
(Bray Wyatt, Luke Harper, and Randy Orton)	1	23
8	The Miz and Shane McMahon	1	21
9	The Hardy Boyz †
(Jeff Hardy and Matt Hardy)	1	11+
By wrestler
Rank	Wrestler	No. of
reigns	Combined days	Combined days
recognized by WWE
1	Jey Uso	4	380	379
Jimmy Uso	4	380	379
3	(Luke) Harper	2	158
4	Rowan	1	135
5	Big E	3	110	107
Kofi Kingston	3	110	107
Xavier Woods	3	110	107
8	Cesaro	1	103	102
Sheamus	1	103	102
10	Chad Gable	1	84	83
Heath Slater	1	84	83
Jason Jordan	1	84	83
Rhyno	1	84	83
14	Bray Wyatt	1	23
Randy Orton	1	23
16	Shane McMahon	1	21
The Miz	1	21
18	Jeff Hardy †	1	11+
Matt Hardy †	1	11+
See also
icon	Professional wrestling portal
List of World Tag Team Champions (WWE)
List of WWE Raw Tag Team Champions
List of NXT Tag Team Champions
List of current champions in WWE
References
 Martin, Adam. "Daniel Bryan to reveal two new championships exclusive to Smackdown tonight from Connecticut". wrestleview.com. Retrieved August 23, 2016.
 Caldwell, James. "9/11 WWE Backlash Results – CALDWELL'S Complete PPV Report". Pro Wrestling Torch. Retrieved September 11, 2016.
 WWE.com Staff (December 7, 2016). "The Wyatt Family to defend SmackDown Tag Team Titles under the Freebird Rule". WWE. Retrieved December 8, 2016.
 Powell, Jason. "Powell's WWE TLC 2016 live review: AJ Styles vs. Dean Ambrose in a TLC match for the WWE Championship, The Miz vs. Dolph Ziggler in a ladder match for the Intercontinental Championship". Pro Wreslting Dot Net. Retrieved December 4, 2016.
 Parks, Greg. "12/27 WWE Smackdown LIVE – Parks's Ongoing, Real-Time Report, including three title matches, John Cena's return". Pro Wrestling Torch. Retrieved December 27, 2016.
 Keller, Wade. "KELLER'S WWE SMACKDOWN REPORT 3/21: Shane reacts to Shane challenging him to a WrestleMania match, more hype for WrestleMania 33". Pro Wrestling Torch. Retrieved March 21, 2017.
 Powell, Jason. "7/23 Powell's WWE Battleground Live Review: Jinder Mahal vs. Randy Orton in a Punjabi Prison match for the WWE Championship, AJ Styles vs. Kevin Owens for the U.S. Championship, John Cena vs. Rusev in a flag match". Pro Wrestling Dot Net. Retrieved July 23, 2017.
 Powell, Jason. "08/20 Powell's WWE SummerSlam Kickoff Show coverage: New Day vs. The Usos for the Smackdown Tag Titles, Akira Tozawa vs. Neville for the WWE Cruiserweight Championship, Matt Hardy, Jeff Hardy, and Jason Jordan vs. Miz, Bo Dallas, and Curtis Axel". Pro Wrestling Dot Net. Retrieved August 20, 2017.
 Keller, Wade. "KELLER'S WWE SMACKDOWN REPORT 9/12: Vince McMahon appears to address Shane being suspended and Owens threatening to sue". Pro Wrestling Torch. Retrieved September 12, 2017.
 Powell, Jason. "Powell's WWE Hell in a Cell 2017 live review: Kevin Owens vs. Shane McMahon in a Falls Count Anywhere HIAC match, New Day vs. The Usos in an HIAC match for the Smackdown Tag Titles, Jinder Mahal vs. Shinsuke Nakamura for the WWE Championship". Pro Wrestling Dot Net. Retrieved October 8, 2017.
 Powell, Jason. "Powell's WrestleMania 34 live review: AJ Styles vs. Shinsuke Nakamura for the WWE Championship, Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns for the WWE Universal Championship, Charlotte Flair vs. Asuka for the Smackdown Women's Championship, Ronda Rousey and Kurt Angle vs. Triple H and Stephanie McMahon". Pro Wreslting Dot Net. Retrieved April 8, 2018.
 Barnett, Jake. "8/21 Barnett's WWE Smackdown Live TV Review: Bludgeon Brothers vs. New Day in a No DQ match for the Smackdown Tag Titles, Randy Orton vs. Jeff Hardy, Becky Lynch explains her actions at SummerSlam, AJ Styles interview". Pro Wrestling Dot Net. Retrieved August 21, 2018.
 Barnett, Jake (October 16, 2018). "10/16 Barnett's WWE Smackdown 1000 TV Review: Evolution, Undertaker, and other legends return for the milestone show, Rey Mysterio vs. Shinsuke Nakamura and Rusev vs. The Miz in World Cup tournament qualifiers". Pro Wrestling Torch. Retrieved October 17, 2018.
 Powell, Jason. "Powell's WWE Royal Rumble 2019 live review: Men's and Women's Royal Rumble matches, Brock Lesnar vs. Finn Balor for the WWE Universal Championship, Daniel Bryan vs. AJ Styles for the WWE Championship, Ronda Rousey vs. Sasha Banks for the Raw Women's Championship". Pro Wrestling Dot Net. Retrieved January 27, 2019.
 Powell, Jason. "Powell's WWE Elimination Chamber 2019 live review: Daniel Bryan vs. AJ Styles vs. Jeff Hardy vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Randy Orton vs. Samoa Joe in an Elimination Chamber match for the WWE Championship, new WWE Women's Tag Champions, Ronda Rousey vs. Ruby Riott for the Raw Women's Championship". Pro Wrestling Dot Net. Retrieved February 17, 2019.
 Barnett, Jake (April 9, 2019). "4/9 Barnett's WWE Smackdown Live TV Review: New Day's celebration for Kofi Kingston winning the WWE Championship, Jimmy Uso and Jey Uso vs. Matt Hardy and Jeff Hardy for the Smackdown Tag Titles, first Smackdown after WrestleMania 35". Pro Wrestling Dot Net. Retrieved April 10, 2019.
External links
Official WWE SmackDown Tag Team Championship Title History
vte
Current championships in WWE
vte
WWE SmackDown Tag Team Champions
Categories: WWE championships lists
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~~~


WWE Raw Tag Team Championship
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Jump to navigationJump to search
This article is about the current championship for male wrestlers on the Raw brand. For WWE's other tag team championships, see WWE Tag Team Championship.
Raw Tag Team Championship
WWE Raw Tag Team Championship.png
The current Raw Tag Team Championship belt
(2016–present)
Details
Promotion	WWE
Brand	Raw
Date established	October 20, 2002
Current champion(s)	Curt Hawkins and Zack Ryder
Date won	April 7, 2019
Past design(s)	WWE Tag Team Championship.png
Other name(s)
WWE Tag Team Championship
(2002–2009, 2010–2016)
Unified WWE Tag Team Championship
(2009–2010)
WWE Raw Tag Team Championship
(2016–present)
Statistics
The WWE Raw Tag Team Championship[1] is a professional wrestling world tag team championship created and promoted by the American professional wrestling promotion WWE on the Raw brand. It is the sixth overall male tag team championship to have existed in the WWE. The title is one of two male tag team championships for WWE's main roster, along with the SmackDown Tag Team Championship on the SmackDown brand. The current champions are Curt Hawkins and Zack Ryder, who are in their second reign.

The championship was originally established as the WWE Tag Team Championship on October 20, 2002, and the team of Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit were the inaugural champions. It was introduced for the SmackDown brand as a second title for tag teams in the promotion to complement WWE's original World Tag Team Championship, which became exclusive to Raw. Both titles were unified in 2009 and were collectively referred to as the "Unified WWE Tag Team Championship" while officially remaining independently active until the World Tag Team Championship was formally decommissioned in 2010. As a result of the 2016 draft, the championship became exclusive to Raw with a subsequent rename, and SmackDown created the SmackDown Tag Team Championship as a counterpart title.


Contents
1	History
1.1	Brand designation
2	Reigns
3	References
4	External links
History


The inaugural champions Kurt Angle (top) and Chris Benoit (bottom)
After the company's initial brand extension in the spring of 2002, the original World Tag Team Championship was reassigned that following summer to appear and be defended exclusively on the Raw brand, leaving the SmackDown brand without a tag team title. As a result, then-SmackDown General Manager Stephanie McMahon introduced the WWE Tag Team Championship and commissioned it to be the tag team title for the SmackDown brand on October 3, 2002. She stated that the inaugural champions would be determined from an eight-team tournament. On October 20, 2002, the team of Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit defeated Rey Mysterio and Edge at No Mercy in the tournament final to become the inaugural WWE Tag Team Champions.[2]

On October 17, 2007, SmackDown and ECW announced a talent sharing agreement that enabled talent from either brand's roster to compete on both brands. As a result, the title became eligible to be contended and defended on both brands. In late 2008 through early 2009, then-WWE Tag Team Champions The Colóns (Carlito and Primo) engaged in rivalry with then-World Tag Team Champions John Morrison and The Miz, which resulted in the announcement on the March 17 episode of ECW that at WrestleMania XXV, both teams would defend their titles against each other and the winning team would hold both titles.[3] The Colóns defeated Morrison and Miz, and thus unified the titles into what became known as the Unified WWE Tag Team Championship, the umbrella term for what officially remained two active championships that were now collectively defended.[4]

The championships would be defended as the Unified WWE Tag Team Championship on any brand until August 2010. That month, the Anonymous Raw General Manager announced that the World Tag Team Championship would be decommissioned in favor of continuing the WWE Tag Team Championship, which received a new, single set of championship belts, which were presented to then-champions The Hart Dynasty by Bret Hart. The belts featured a centerpiece dominated by two Spartan helmets, with two side plates on either side; the inner side plates feature the WWE logo and the outer side plates feature Spartan helmets. The plates were bronze colored and the straps were black. The WWE Tag Team Championship became the sole tag team championship in WWE and was defended on any brand. The first brand extension ended in August 2011.[5] In August 2014, the WWE Tag Team Championship belts, along with all other pre-existing championship belts in WWE at the time, received a minor update, replacing the long-standing scratch logo with WWE's new logo originally used for the WWE Network.

Following the reintroduction of the brand extension in July 2016, then-champions The New Day were drafted to the Raw brand, making the championship exclusive to Raw. In response, SmackDown created the SmackDown Tag Team Championship on August 23, 2016. The WWE Tag Team Championship was subsequently renamed to reflect its exclusivity to Raw.[2] The championship's belt design was updated on December 19, 2016; the basic design is the same, but with silver plates on red straps, countering the silver plates on blue straps design of the SmackDown Tag Team Championship belts.

At WrestleMania 34 on April 8, 2018, then-Raw Tag Team Champions Cesaro and Sheamus were scheduled to defend the titles against Braun Strowman and a partner of his choosing. At the event, Strowman revealed that his partner would be a fan from the live audience. He then went out into the crowd and picked 10-year old Nicholas, and the two defeated Cesaro and Sheamus for the titles. This made Nicholas the youngest WWE champion in history. The following night on Raw, the two relinquished the titles.[6]

Brand designation
Following the events of the WWE brand extension, an annual WWE draft was established, in which select members of the WWE roster are reassigned to a different brand.[7] After the WWE Tag Team Championship was unified with the World Tag Team Championship as the Unified WWE Tag Team Championship, the champions could appear and defend the titles on any WWE brand.[8] The titles were combined as the WWE Tag Team Championship in August 2010 with a single set of belts, and continued to be defended on any brand.[9] The brand extension was discontinued on August 29, 2011, but it was revived on July 19, 2016. The following is a list of dates indicating the transitions of the WWE (Raw) Tag Team Championship between the Raw, SmackDown, and ECW brands.

Date of transition	Brand	Notes
October 20, 2002	SmackDown	Championship established as the WWE Tag Team Championship for SmackDown
November 13, 2007	ECW	John Morrison and The Miz were a part of the ECW brand, and as a result, the titles moved to the ECW brand. However, as part of the talent exchange between SmackDown and ECW, teams of either brand could challenge for the titles
July 20, 2008	SmackDown	The titles return to SmackDown following Curt Hawkins and Zack Ryder's title win
April 5, 2009	N/A	At WrestleMania XXV, The Colóns unified the WWE Tag Team Championship and World Tag Team Championship as the Unified WWE Tag Team Championship. Both titles remained active and were defended on any brand.
The World Tag Team Championship was decommissioned in August 2010, and "Unified" was dropped from the name
July 19, 2016	Raw	Reintroduction of brand extension
WWE Tag Team Champions The New Day were drafted to Raw in the 2016 WWE draft.
After the introduction of the SmackDown Tag Team Championship, the title was renamed to Raw Tag Team Championship[2]
Reigns
Main article: List of WWE Raw Tag Team Champions
The inaugural champions were Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit. John Cena and The Miz's 9-minute reign is the shortest in the title's history, while The New Day (Big E, Kofi Kingston, and Xavier Woods) have the longest single reign at 483 days, and the longest combined reign at 532 days (WWE recognizes their combined reign as 533 days).

Curt Hawkins and Zack Ryder are the current champions in their second reign both as a team and individually. They won the titles by defeating The Revival (Scott Dawson and Dash Wilder) on April 7, 2019 in East Rutherford, New Jersey at WrestleMania 35 as part of the pre-show.

References
General
"World Tag Team Championship title history". WWE. Retrieved 2010-09-19.
"Raw Tag Team Championship title history". WWE. Retrieved 2016-09-05.
Specific
 "Raw Tag Team Championship". WWE. Retrieved December 24, 2017.
 "Raw Tag Team Championship".
 Medalis, Kara (2009-03-17). "Extremely lucky night". WWE. Retrieved 2009-11-26.
 "WWE Tag Team Champions def. World Tag Team Champions (New Unified Tag Team Champions)". WWE. Retrieved May 16, 2012.
 Schadler, Kyle (February 12, 2012). "Abandoned: The History of WWE's World Tag Team Championship, Pt. 2". Bleacher Report. Retrieved September 13, 2016.
 Fiorvanti, Tim. "WrestleMania 34 recaps and results: Ronda shines in debut, Taker returns, Charlotte stops Asuka, new champs galore". ESPN. Retrieved 9 April 2018.
 Dee, Louie (2007-06-07). "Draft History". World Wrestling Entertainment. Retrieved 2008-12-21.
 Sitterson, Aubrey (2009-04-27). "Judgment is coming". WWE. Retrieved 2009-12-14.
 "History of the World Tag Team Championship: Carlito & Primo". WWE. Archived from the original on April 8, 2009. Retrieved 2009-04-06.
External links
Official Raw Tag Team Title History
icon	Professional wrestling portal
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WWE Raw Tag Team Champions
vte
Current championships in WWE
Categories: WWE championshipsTag team wrestling championshipsWWE Raw
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List of WWE Raw Tag Team Champions
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This article is about the list of WWE's tag team champions with the current championship on the Raw brand. For other championships, see WWE Tag Team Championship.

Two-time and current champions Curt Hawkins and Zack Ryder
The WWE Raw Tag Team Championship is a professional wrestling world tag team championship contested in WWE on the Raw brand. Introduced as the WWE Tag Team Championship, it was WWE's third world tag team title, and sixth tag team title overall. After WWE bought the promotions of Extreme Championship Wrestling (ECW) and World Championship Wrestling (WCW), and unified the WCW Tag Team Championship into its own title at Survivor Series 2001, it split its roster into two brands, Raw and SmackDown. As WWE's original World Tag Team Championship was designated exclusive to the Raw brand, SmackDown introduced the WWE Tag Team Championship as its own championship.[1][2]

In 2007, after the initiation of the ECW brand, the title was shared between the SmackDown and ECW brands, thus inter-brand matches could take place for the title.[3] In 2009, the title was unified with the World Tag Team Championship by The Colóns (Carlito and Primo) at WrestleMania XXV and became recognized as the "Unified WWE Tag Team Championship" until August 2010 when the World Tag Team Championship was decommissioned in favor of continuing the lineage of the WWE Tag Team Championship. In 2016, WWE reintroduced its brand split and the championship became exclusive to Raw. It was subsequently renamed to Raw Tag Team Championship after SmackDown introduced its SmackDown Tag Team Championship.

The championship is generally contested in professional wrestling matches, in which participants execute scripted finishes rather than contend in direct competition. The inaugural champions were Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit, who won the title in a tournament final at No Mercy on October 20, 2002. Curt Hawkins and Zack Ryder are the current champions in their second reign. They won the titles by defeating The Revival (Dash Wilder and Scott Dawson) in East Rutherford, New Jersey on April 7, 2019 during the pre–show of WrestleMania 35.

Overall, there have been 55 different championship teams, and 87 individual champions with the team of Cesaro and Sheamus holding the most reigns at 4; in addition, Cesaro holds the most reigns individually at five. The New Day have the longest reign at 483 days and are also the only team to hold the championship for over one consecutive year, while John Cena and The Miz have the shortest reign as a team at 9 minutes, due to The Corre invoking their rematch clause immediately after losing the title. Nicholas is the youngest champion at 10 years old, while Billy Gunn is the oldest champion at age 50.


Contents
1	Title history
1.1	Names
1.2	Reigns
2	Combined reigns
2.1	By team
2.2	By wrestler
3	See also
4	References
5	External links
Title history
Names
Name	Years
WWE Tag Team Championship	October 20, 2002 – April 5, 2009
Unified WWE Tag Team Championship	April 5, 2009 – August 16, 2010
WWE Tag Team Championship	August 16, 2010 – September 5, 2016
WWE Raw Tag Team Championship	September 5, 2016 – present
Reigns
As of April 20, 2019.

Key
No.	Overall reign number
Reign	Reign number for the specific champion
Days	Number of days held
Days
recog.	Number of days held recognized by the promotion
<1	Reign lasted less than a day
+	Current reign is changing daily
No.	Champion	Championship change	Reign statistics	Notes	Ref.
Date	Event	Location	Reign	Days	Days recog.
1	Chris Benoit and Kurt Angle	October 20, 2002	No Mercy	North Little Rock, AR	1	16	18	Title was established as the WWE Tag Team Championship for the SmackDown brand after the World Tag Team Championship became exclusive to the Raw brand. Angle and Benoit defeated the team of Edge and Rey Mysterio in the tournament final to become the inaugural champions.
WWE recognizes their reign as ending on November 7, 2002, when the following episode aired on tape delay.	[4]
2	Edge and Rey Mysterio	November 5, 2002	SmackDown!	Manchester, NH	1	12	10	This was a two out of three falls match.
WWE recognizes their reign as beginning on November 7, 2002, when the episode aired on tape delay.	[5]
3	Los Guerreros
(Chavo Guerrero and Eddie Guerrero)	November 17, 2002	Survivor Series	New York, NY	1	79	81	This was a triple threat tag team elimination match, also involving the team of Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit.
WWE recognizes their reign as ending on February 6, 2003, when the following episode aired on tape delay.	[6]
4	Team Angle
(Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin)	February 4, 2003[7]	SmackDown!	Philadelphia, PA	1	103	101	WWE recognizes their reign as beginning on February 6, 2003, when the episode aired on tape delay.	[8]
5	Eddie Guerrero (2) and Tajiri	May 18, 2003	Judgment Day	Charlotte, NC	1	44	46	This was a ladder match.
Los Guerreros had invoked their rematch clause, but Chavo Guerrero got injured prior to the match. Instead of forfeiting, Tajiri replaced Chavo.
WWE recognizes their reign as ending on July 3, 2003, when the following episode aired on tape delay.	[9]
6	The World's Greatest Tag Team
(Charlie Haas and Shelton Benjamin)	July 1, 2003[7]	SmackDown!	Rochester, NY	2	77	77	After Benjamin and Haas lost the titles to Eddie Guerrero and Tajiri, they were "fired" from Team Angle. They then became known as The World's Greatest Tag Team.
WWE recognizes their reign as beginning on July 3, 2003, and ending on September 18, 2003, both episodes of which aired on tape delay.	[10]
7	Los Guerreros
(Chavo Guerrero (2) and Eddie Guerrero (3))	September 16, 2003[7]	SmackDown!	Raleigh, NC	2	35	35	WWE recognizes their reign as beginning on September 18, 2003, and ending on October 23, 2003, both episodes of which aired on tape delay.	[11]
8	The Basham Brothers
(Danny Basham and Doug Basham)	October 21, 2003[7]	SmackDown!	Albany, NY	1	105	105	WWE recognizes their reign as beginning on October 23, 2003, and ending on February 5, 2004, both episodes of which aired on tape delay.	[12]
9	Rikishi and Scotty 2 Hotty	February 3, 2004[13]	SmackDown!	Cleveland, OH	1	77	77	WWE recognizes their reign as beginning on February 5, 2004, and ending on April 22, 2004, both episodes of which aired on tape delay.	[14]
10	Charlie Haas (3) and Rico	April 20, 2004[13]	SmackDown!	Kelowna, BC, Canada	1	56	56	WWE recognizes their reign as beginning on April 22, 2004, and ending on June 17, 2004, both episodes of which aired on tape delay.	[15]
11	The Dudley Boyz
(Bubba Ray Dudley and D-Von Dudley)	June 15, 2004[13]	SmackDown!	Rosemont, IL	1	21	21	WWE recognizes their reign as beginning on June 17, 2004, and ending on July 8, 2004, both episodes of which aired on tape delay.	[16]
12	Billy Kidman and Paul London	July 6, 2004[13]	SmackDown!	Winnipeg, MB, Canada	1	63	63	WWE recognizes their reign as beginning on July 8, 2004, and ending on September 9, 2004, both episodes of which aired on tape delay.	[17]
13	Kenzo Suzuki and René Duprée	September 7, 2004[13]	SmackDown!	Tulsa, OK	1	91	91	WWE recognizes their reign as beginning on September 9, 2004, and ending on December 9, 2004, both episodes of which aired on tape delay.	[18]
14	Rey Mysterio (2) and Rob Van Dam	December 7, 2004[13]	SmackDown!	Greenville, SC	1	35	35	WWE recognizes their reign as beginning on December 9, 2004, and ending on January 13, 2005, both episodes of which aired on tape delay.	[19]
15	The Basham Brothers
(Danny Basham and Doug Basham )	January 11, 2005[20]	SmackDown!	Tampa, FL	2	40	38	This was a fatal four-way tag team elimination match, also involving the teams of Mark Jindrak and Luther Reigns, and Booker T and Eddie Guerrero.
WWE recognizes their reign as beginning on January 13, 2005, when the episode aired on tape delay.	[21]
16	Eddie Guerrero (4) and Rey Mysterio (3)	February 20, 2005	No Way Out	Pittsburgh, PA	1	57	60	WWE recognizes their reign as ending on April 21, 2005, when the following episode aired on tape delay.	[22]
17	MNM
(Joey Mercury and Johnny Nitro)	April 18, 2005[20]	SmackDown!	New York, NY	1	97	95	WWE recognizes their reign as beginning on April 21, 2005, when the episode aired on tape delay, and ending on July 25, 2005.	[23]
18	The Legion of Doom
(Animal and Heidenreich)	July 24, 2005	The Great American Bash	Buffalo, NY	1	93	95	WWE recognizes their reign as beginning on July 25, 2005, and ending on October 28, 2005, when the following episode aired on tape delay.	[24]
19	MNM
(Joey Mercury and Johnny Nitro)	October 25, 2005[20]	SmackDown!	Daly City, CA	2	49	49	This was a fatal four-way tag team match, also involving The Mexicools, and the team of Paul Burchill and William Regal.
WWE recognizes their reign as beginning on October 28, 2005, and ending on December 16, 2005, both episodes of which aired on tape delay.	[25]
20	Batista and Rey Mysterio (4)	December 13, 2005[20]	SmackDown!	Springfield, MA	1	14	14	WWE recognizes their reign as beginning on December 16, 2005, and ending on December 30, 2005, both episodes of which aired on tape delay.	[26]
21	MNM
(Joey Mercury and Johnny Nitro)	December 27, 2005[20]	SmackDown!	Uncasville, CT	3	145	142	WWE recognizes their reign as beginning on December 30, 2005, when the episode aired on tape delay.	[27]
22	Brian Kendrick and Paul London (2)	May 21, 2006	Judgment Day	Phoenix, AZ	1	331	334	WWE recognizes their reign as ending on April 20, 2007, when the following episode aired on tape delay.	[28]
23	Deuce 'n Domino	April 17, 2007[29]	SmackDown!	Milan, Italy	1	133	133	WWE recognizes their reign as beginning on April 20, 2007, and ending on August 31, 2007, both episodes of which aired on tape delay.	[30]
24	Matt Hardy and Montel Vontavious Porter	August 28, 2007[29]	SmackDown!	Albany, NY	1	77	77	WWE recognizes their reign as beginning on August 31, 2007, and ending on November 16, 2007, both episodes of which aired on tape delay.	[31]
25	John Morrison (4) and The Miz	November 13, 2007[29]	SmackDown!	Wichita, KS	1	250	247	The title was shared with the ECW brand after SmackDown and ECW began a talent exchange agreement.
WWE recognizes their reign as beginning on November 16, 2007, when the episode aired on tape delay. John Morrison was formerly known as Johnny Nitro.	[32]
26	Curt Hawkins and Zack Ryder	July 20, 2008	The Great American Bash	Uniondale, NY	1	63	68	This was a fatal four-way tag team match, also involving Jesse and Festus, and the team of Finlay and Hornswoggle.
WWE recognizes their reign as ending on September 26, 2008, when the following episode aired on tape delay.	[33]
27	The Colóns
(Carlito and Primo)	September 21, 2008	SmackDown	Columbus, OH	1	280	275	On April 5, 2009, at WrestleMania XXV, The Colóns unified the WWE Tag Team Championship with the World Tag Team Championship. The titles remained independently active, but were collectively defended on any brand as the Unified WWE Tag Team Championship.
WWE recognizes their reign as beginning on September 26, 2008, when the episode aired on tape delay.	[34]
28	Chris Jericho and Edge (2)	June 28, 2009	The Bash	Sacramento, CA	1	28	28	This was a triple threat tag team match, also involving The Legacy (Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase).	[35]
29	Jeri-Show
(Big Show and Chris Jericho (2))	July 26, 2009	Night of Champions	Philadelphia, PA	1	140	140	Shortly after Edge and Chris Jericho won the title, Edge suffered a torn Achilles tendon, which required surgery and forced him to vacate his half of the championship. Jericho was allowed to keep his title and choose a new partner; he chose Big Show at Night of Champions. WWE recognizes this as a second reign for Jericho.	[36][37]
30	D-Generation X
(Shawn Michaels and Triple H)	December 13, 2009	TLC: Tables, Ladders & Chairs	San Antonio, TX	1	57	57	This was a Tables, Ladders, and Chairs match.	[38]
31	ShoMiz
(Big Show (2) and The Miz (2))	February 8, 2010	Raw	Lafayette, LA	1	77	77	This was a triple threat tag team elimination match, also involving The Straight Edge Society (CM Punk and Luke Gallows).	[39]
32	The Hart Dynasty
(David Hart Smith and Tyson Kidd)	April 26, 2010	Raw	Richmond, VA	1	146	146	The World Tag Team Championship was deactivated during their reign on August 16, 2010. "Unified" was dropped from the name, but the WWE Tag Team Championship continued to be defended on any brand.	[40]
33	Cody Rhodes and Drew McIntyre	September 19, 2010	Night of Champions	Rosemont, IL	1	35	35	This was a Tag Team Turmoil match, also involving the teams of The Usos, Santino Marella and Vladimir Kozlov, and Evan Bourne and Mark Henry.	[41]
34	The Nexus
(David Otunga and John Cena)	October 24, 2010	Bragging Rights	Minneapolis, MN	1	1	1		[42]
35	The Nexus
(Heath Slater and Justin Gabriel)	October 25, 2010	Raw	Green Bay, WI	1	42	42	Wade Barrett kept the title within Nexus, but took out John Cena by ordering David Otunga to lie down purposely for a pinfall.	[43]
36	Santino Marella and Vladimir Kozlov	December 6, 2010	Raw	Louisville, KY	1	76	76	This was a fatal four-way tag team elimination match, also involving the teams of Mark Henry and Yoshi Tatsu, and The Usos.	[44]
37	The Corre
(Heath Slater and Justin Gabriel)	February 20, 2011	Elimination Chamber	Oakland, CA	2	1	1		[45]
38	John Cena (2) and The Miz (3)	February 21, 2011	Raw	Fresno, CA	1	<1	<1		[46]
39	The Corre
(Heath Slater and Justin Gabriel)	February 21, 2011	Raw	Fresno, CA	3	57	59	WWE recognizes their reign as ending on April 22, 2011, when the following episode aired on tape delay.	[47]
40	Big Show (3) and Kane	April 19, 2011	SmackDown	London, England	1	34	31	WWE recognizes their reign as beginning on April 22, 2011, when the episode aired on tape delay.	[48]
41	The New Nexus
(David Otunga (2) and Michael McGillicutty)	May 23, 2011	Raw	Portland, OR	1	91	91	Otunga and McGillicutty won the title under the name of The New Nexus, but the stable disbanded during their reign.	[49]
42	Air Boom
(Evan Bourne and Kofi Kingston)	August 22, 2011	Raw	Edmonton, AB, Canada	1	146	146	On August 29, 2011, the brand extension ended.
On November 1, 2011, WWE suspended Bourne for 30 days.	[50]
43	Primo (2) and Epico	January 15, 2012	House show	Oakland, CA	1	106	107		[51]
44	Kofi Kingston (2) and R-Truth	April 30, 2012	Raw	Dayton, OH	1	139	139		[52]
45	Team Hell No
(Daniel Bryan and Kane (2))	September 16, 2012	Night of Champions	Boston, MA	1	245	246		[53]
46	The Shield
(Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins)	May 19, 2013	Extreme Rules	St. Louis, MO	1	148	149	This was a Tornado Tag Team match.	[54]
47	Cody Rhodes (2) and Goldust	October 14, 2013	Raw	St. Louis, MO	1	104	104	This was a No Disqualification match.	[55]
48	The New Age Outlaws
(Billy Gunn and Road Dogg)	January 26, 2014	Royal Rumble	Pittsburgh, PA	1	36	37	Match aired live on WWE.com and YouTube as part of the Royal Rumble Kickoff show.	[56]
49	The Usos
(Jey Uso and Jimmy Uso)	March 3, 2014	Raw	Rosemont, IL	1	202	202		[57]
50	Gold and Stardust (3)	September 21, 2014	Night of Champions	Nashville, TN	2	63	64	Gold and Stardust were formerly known as Cody Rhodes and Goldust.	[58]
51	Damien Mizdow and The Miz (4)	November 23, 2014	Survivor Series	St. Louis, MO	1	36	37	This was a fatal four-way tag team match, also involving Los Matadores and The Usos.	[59]
52	The Usos
(Jey Uso and Jimmy Uso)	December 29, 2014	Raw	Washington, D.C.	2	55	56		[60]
53	Cesaro and Tyson Kidd (2)	February 22, 2015	Fastlane	Memphis, TN	1	63	63		[61]
54	The New Day
(Big E, Kofi Kingston (3), and Xavier Woods)	April 26, 2015	Extreme Rules	Rosemont, IL	1	49	50	Big E and Kingston won the match, but Woods was also recognized as champion under the Freebird Rule.	[62][63]
55	The Prime Time Players
(Darren Young and Titus O'Neil)	June 14, 2015	Money in the Bank	Columbus, OH	1	70	70	Big E and Xavier Woods represented The New Day.	[64]
56	The New Day
(Big E, Kofi Kingston (4), and Xavier Woods)	August 23, 2015	SummerSlam	Brooklyn, NY	2	483	483	This was a fatal four-way tag team match, also involving The Lucha Dragons and Los Matadores.
Big E and Kingston won the match, but Woods was also recognized as champion under the Freebird Rule.
The brand extension returned and the title became exclusive to the Raw brand following the 2016 WWE draft.
The title was renamed the Raw Tag Team Championship on September 5, 2016, following the creation of the SmackDown Tag Team Championship.
57	Cesaro (2) and Sheamus	December 18, 2016	Roadblock: End of the Line	Pittsburgh, PA	1	42	42	Big E and Kofi Kingston represented The New Day.	[65]
58	Karl Anderson and Luke Gallows	January 29, 2017	Royal Rumble	San Antonio, TX	1	63	64	Match aired live on WWE Network and YouTube as part of the Royal Rumble Kickoff show.
Two referees were assigned to the match.	[66]
59	The Hardy Boyz
(Jeff Hardy and Matt Hardy (2))	April 2, 2017	WrestleMania 33	Orlando, FL	1	63	64	Gallows and Anderson were originally scheduled to defend the title in a triple threat ladder match against Enzo Amore and Big Cass, and Cesaro and Sheamus. Prior to the match, however, event hosts The New Day announced that the match would be a fatal four-way ladder match with the returning Hardy Boyz.	[67]
60	Cesaro (3) and Sheamus (2)	June 4, 2017	Extreme Rules	Baltimore, MD	2	77	77	This was a Steel Cage match.	[68]
61	Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins (2)	August 20, 2017	SummerSlam	Brooklyn, NY	1	78	79		[69]
62	Cesaro (4) and Sheamus (3)	November 6, 2017	Raw	Manchester, England	3	49	49		[70][71]
63	Jason Jordan and Seth Rollins (3)	December 25, 2017	Raw	Rosemont, IL	1	34	34		[72]
64	Cesaro (5) and Sheamus (4)	January 28, 2018	Royal Rumble	Philadelphia, PA	4	70	71		[73]
65	Braun Strowman and Nicholas	April 8, 2018	WrestleMania 34	New Orleans, LA	1	1	1	Strowman was obligated to find a partner for the match and chose Nicholas, a 10-year old boy from the live audience (and actual son of WWE Referee John Cone).	[74]
—	Vacated	April 9, 2018	Raw	New Orleans, LA	—	—	—	Braun Strowman and Nicholas voluntarily relinquished the title due to "scheduling conflicts" with Nicholas being a fourth-grader and needing to attend school.	[75]
66	Bray Wyatt and Matt Hardy (3)	April 27, 2018	Greatest Royal Rumble	Jeddah, Saudi Arabia	1	79	80	Defeated Cesaro and Sheamus to win the vacant title.	[76]
67	The B-Team
(Bo Dallas and Curtis Axel (2))	July 15, 2018	Extreme Rules	Pittsburgh, PA	1	50	50	Curtis Axel was formerly known as Michael McGillicutty.	[77]
68	Dolph Ziggler and Drew McIntyre (2)	September 3, 2018	Raw	Columbus, OH	1	49	49		[78]
69	Dean Ambrose (2) and Seth Rollins (4)	October 22, 2018	Raw	Providence, RI	2	14	14	Immediately after they won the title, Ambrose turned on Rollins, leaving Rollins to defend the title alone.	[79]
70	AOP
(Akam and Rezar)	November 5, 2018	Raw	Manchester, England	1	35	34	Defeated Seth Rollins in a 2-on-1 handicap match.	[80]
71	Bobby Roode and Chad Gable	December 10, 2018	Raw	San Diego, CA	1	63	63	This was a 2-on-3 handicap match also involving AOP's manager, Drake Maverick. Roode pinned Maverick to win AOP's title.	[81]
72	The Revival
(Dash Wilder and Scott Dawson)	February 11, 2019	Raw	Grand Rapids, MI	1	55	54		[82]
73	Curt Hawkins and Zack Ryder (2)
Curt Hawkins and Zack Ryder	April 7, 2019	WrestleMania 35	East Rutherford, NJ	2	13+	13+	The match was part of the WrestleMania pre–show.	[83]
Combined reigns
As of April 20, 2019.

†	Indicates the current champion
By team

The New Day (Big E, Kofi Kingston, and Xavier Woods), the longest single and combined reigning Raw Tag Team Champions

Cesaro and Sheamus, who hold the most reigns as a team with 4
Rank	Team	No. of
reigns	Combined days	Combined days
recognized by WWE
1	The New Day
(Big E, Kofi Kingston, and Xavier Woods)	2	532	533
2	Paul London and Brian Kendrick	1	331	334
3	MNM
(Joey Mercury and Johnny Nitro)	3	291	286
4	The Colóns
(Carlito and Primo)	1	280	275
5	The Usos
(Jey Uso and Jimmy Uso)	2	257	258
6	John Morrison and The Miz	1	250	247
7	Team Hell No
(Kane and Daniel Bryan)	1	245	246
8	Cesaro and Sheamus	4	238	239
9	Team Angle/The World's Greatest Tag Team
(Shelton Benjamin and Charlie Haas)	2	180	178
10	Gold and Stardust/Cody Rhodes and Goldust	2	167	168
11	The Shield
(Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns)	1	148	149
12	Air Boom
(Evan Bourne and Kofi Kingston)	1	146
The Hart Dynasty
(David Hart Smith and Tyson Kidd)	1	146
14	The Basham Brothers
(Danny Basham and Doug Basham)	2	145	143
15	Jeri-Show
(Chris Jericho and Big Show)	1	140
16	Kofi Kingston and R-Truth	1	139
17	Deuce 'n Domino	1	133
18	Los Guerreros
(Eddie Guerrero and Chavo Guerrero)	2	114	116
19	Primo and Epico	1	106	107
20	The Nexus/The Corre
(Heath Slater and Justin Gabriel)	3	100	101
21	The Legion of Doom
(Animal and Heidenreich)	1	93	95
22	Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins	2	92	93
23	Kenzo Suzuki and René Duprée	1	91
The New Nexus
(David Otunga and Michael McGillicutty)	1	91
25	Matt Hardy and Bray Wyatt	1	79	80
26	Montel Vontavious Porter and Matt Hardy	1	77
Rikishi and Scotty 2 Hotty	1	77
ShoMiz
(Big Show and The Miz)	1	77
29	Curt Hawkins and Zack Ryder †	2	76+	81+
30	Santino Marella and Vladimir Kozlov	1	76
31	The Prime Time Players
(Darren Young and Titus O'Neil)	1	70
32	Billy Kidman and Paul London	1	63
Bobby Roode and Chad Gable	1	63
Luke Gallows and Karl Anderson	1	63	64
The Hardy Boyz
(Jeff and Matt Hardy)	1	63	64
Tyson Kidd and Cesaro	1	63
37	D-Generation X
(Triple H and Shawn Michaels)	1	57
Eddie Guerrero and Rey Mysterio	1	57	60
39	Charlie Haas and Rico	1	56
40	The Revival
(Dash Wilder and Scott Dawson)	1	55	54
41	The B-Team
(Bo Dallas and Curtis Axel)	1	50
42	Dolph Ziggler and Drew McIntyre	1	49
43	Eddie Guerrero and Tajiri	1	44	46
44	The Miz and Damien Mizdow	1	36	37
The New Age Outlaws
(Road Dogg and Billy Gunn)	1	36	37
46	AOP
(Akam and Rezar)	1	35	34
Cody Rhodes and Drew McIntyre	1	35
Rey Mysterio and Rob Van Dam	1	35
49	Big Show and Kane	1	34	31
Jason Jordan and Seth Rollins	1	34
51	Edge and Chris Jericho	1	28
52	The Dudley Boyz
(Bubba Ray Dudley and D-Von Dudley)	1	21
53	Kurt Angle and Chris Benoit	1	16	18
54	Batista and Rey Mysterio	1	14
55	Edge and Rey Mysterio	1	12	10
56	Braun Strowman and Nicholas	1	1
The Nexus
(John Cena and David Otunga)	1	1
58	John Cena and The Miz	1	<1
By wrestler

Kofi Kingston, the longest combined-reigning champion at 817 days; 818 as recognized by WWE

Cesaro, who holds the record for most championship reigns with 5 (with two different partners)
Rank	Wrestler	No. of
reigns	Combined days	Combined days
recognized by WWE
1	Kofi Kingston	4	817	818
2	John Morrison/Johnny Nitro	4	541	533
3	Big E	2	532	533
Xavier Woods	2	532	533
5	Paul London	2	394	397
6	Primo	2	386	382
7	The Miz	4	363	361
8	Brian Kendrick	1	331	334
9	Cesaro	5	301	302
10	Joey Mercury	3	291	286
11	Carlito	1	280	275
12	Kane	2	279	277
13	Seth Rollins	4	274	276
14	Jey Uso	2	257	258
Jimmy Uso	2	257	258
16	Big Show	3	251	248
17	Daniel Bryan	1	245	246
18	Sheamus	4	238	239
19	Charlie Haas	3	236	234
20	Matt Hardy	3	219
21	Eddie Guerrero	4	215	222
22	Tyson Kidd	2	209
23	Cody Rhodes/Stardust	3	202	203
24	Shelton Benjamin	2	180	178
25	Chris Jericho	2	168
26	Goldust	2	167	168
27	Roman Reigns	1	148	149
28	David Hart Smith	1	146
Evan Bourne	1	146
30	Danny Basham	2	145	143
Doug Basham	2	145	143
32	Curtis Axel/Michael McGillicutty	2	141
33	R-Truth	1	139
34	Deuce	1	133
Domino	1	133
36	Rey Mysterio	4	118	119
37	Chavo Guerrero	2	114	116
38	Epico	1	106	107
39	Heath Slater	3	100	101
Justin Gabriel	3	100	101
41	Animal	1	93	95
Heidenreich	1	93	95
43	Dean Ambrose	2	120	93
David Otunga	2	92
45	Kenzo Suzuki	1	91
René Duprée	1	91
47	Drew McIntyre	2	84
48	Bray Wyatt	1	79
49	Montel Vontavious Porter	1	77
Rikishi	1	77
Scotty 2 Hotty	1	77
52	Curt Hawkins †	2	76+	81+
Zack Ryder †	2	76+	81+
54	Santino Marella	1	76
Vladimir Kozlov	1	76
56	Darren Young	1	70
Titus O'Neil	1	70
58	Billy Kidman	1	63
Bobby Roode	1	63
Chad Gable	1	63
Jeff Hardy	1	63	64
Karl Anderson	1	63	64
Luke Gallows	1	63	64
64	Shawn Michaels	1	57
Triple H	1	57
66	Rico	1	56
67	Dash Wilder	1	55	54
Scott Dawson	1	55	54
69	Bo Dallas	1	50
70	Dolph Ziggler	1	49
71	Tajiri	1	44	46
72	Edge	2	40	38
73	Billy Gunn	1	36	37
Damien Mizdow	1	36	37
Road Dogg	1	36	37
76	Akam	1	35	34
Rezar	1	35	34
Rob Van Dam	1	35
79	Jason Jordan	1	34
80	Bubba Ray Dudley	1	21
D-Von Dudley	1	21
82	Chris Benoit	1	16	18
Kurt Angle	1	16	18
84	Batista	1	14
85	John Cena	2	1
Braun Strowman	1	1
Nicholas	1	1
See also
icon	Professional wrestling portal
List of World Tag Team Champions (WWE)
WWE SmackDown Tag Team Championship
NXT Tag Team Championship
List of current champions in WWE
References
General
"WWE Raw Tag Team Championship title history". Wrestling-Titles.com. Retrieved 2007-06-07.
Specific
 "WWE Entertainment, Inc. Acquires WCW from Turner Broadcasting". WWE. 2001-03-21. Archived from the original on 2005-04-08. Retrieved 2008-10-17.
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 "Slater & Gabriel's third reign". WWE. Archived from the original on 2011-02-28. Retrieved 2011-02-22.
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 "Otunga and McGillicutty's first reign". WWE. Archived from the original on 2011-05-30. Retrieved 2011-05-23.
 "Air Boom's first reign". WWE. Archived from the original on 2011-09-28. Retrieved 2011-12-01.
 "Primo and Epico's first reign". WWE. Archived from the original on 2012-01-19. Retrieved 2012-01-16.
 "Kingston and Truth's first reign". WWE. Archived from the original on 2012-06-01. Retrieved 2012-04-30.
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 "Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns' first reign". WWE. Archived from the original on 2013-06-07. Retrieved 2013-05-19.
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 "The New Age Outlaw's first reign". WWE. Archived from the original on 2014-05-02. Retrieved 2014-01-26.
 "The Usos' first reign". WWE. Archived from the original on June 1, 2014. Retrieved March 3, 2014.
 "Gold and Stardust's second reign". WWE. Archived from the original on September 24, 2014. Retrieved September 21, 2014.
 "The Miz and Damien Mizdow's first reign". WWE. Archived from the original on November 27, 2014. Retrieved November 23, 2014.
 "The Usos' second reign". WWE. Archived from the original on February 25, 2015. Retrieved December 29, 2014.
 "Tyson Kidd and Cesaro's first reign". WWE. Archived from the original on February 23, 2015. Retrieved February 22, 2015.
 "The New Day's first reign". WWE. Archived from the original on April 27, 2015. Retrieved April 26, 2015.
 "Superstars". WWE. Retrieved 2015-04-29.
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 Powell, Jason. "Powell's WWE Roadblock: End of the Line 2016 live review: Sasha Banks vs. Charlotte in an Iron Man match for the Raw Women's Championship, Kevin Owens vs. Roman Reigns for the WWE Universal Title". Pro Wreslting Dot Net. Retrieved December 18, 2016.
 Powell, Jason. "1/29 Powell's WWE Royal Rumble Kickoff Show coverage – Cesaro and Sheamus vs. Luke Gallows and Karl Anderson for the Raw Tag Titles, Sasha Banks vs. Nia Jax, six-woman tag match". Pro Wreslting Dot Net. Retrieved January 29, 2017.
 Powell, Jason. "Powell's WrestleMania 33 live review: Undertaker vs. Roman Reigns, Goldberg vs. Brock Lesnar for the WWE Universal Championship, AJ Styles vs. Shane McMahon, Seth Rollins vs. Triple H in an unsanctioned match". Pro Wreslting Dot Net. Retrieved April 2, 2017.
 Powell, Jason. "6/4 Powell's WWE Extreme Rules Live Review: Finn Balor vs. Samoa Joe vs. Bray Wyatt vs. Roman Reigns vs. Seth Rollins in a five-way to become No. 1 contender to the WWE Universal Championship, The Hardys vs. Sheamus and Cesaro in a cage match for the Raw Tag Titles". Pro Wreslting Dot Net. Retrieved June 4, 2017.
 Powell, Jason. "Powell's WWE SummerSlam 2017 live review: Brock Lesnar vs. Braun Strowman vs. Samoa Joe vs. Roman Reigns for the WWE Universal Championship, Jinder Mahal vs. Shinsuke Nakamura for the WWE Championship, Sheamus and Cesaro vs. Dean Ambrose and Seth Rollins for the Raw Tag Titles". Pro Wrestling Dot Net. Retrieved August 20, 2017.
 "Breaking: New champions crowned at Raw in U.K." WWE. Retrieved November 6, 2017.
 Keller, Wade. "KELLER'S WWE RAW REPORT 11/6: Miz TV with Kurt Angle, more Survivor Series developments, Under Siege continues, Tag Team Title match". Pro Wrestling Torch. Retrieved November 6, 2017.
 Powell, Jason. "12/25 Powell's WWE Raw Live TV Review: John Cena returns on the Christmas edition, Roman Reigns vs. Samoa Joe for the Intercontinental Title, Sheamus and Cesaro vs. Seth Rollins and Jason Jordan for the Raw Tag Titles". Pro Wrestling Dot Net. Retrieved December 25, 2017.
 Powell, Jason. "WWE Royal Rumble 2018 live review: Men's and Women's Royal Rumble matches, Brock Lesnar vs. Braun Strowman vs. Kane for the WWE Universal Championship, AJ Styles vs. Kevin Owens and Sami Zayn in a handicap match for the WWE Championship". Pro Wrestling Dot Net. Retrieved January 28, 2018.
 Powell, Jason. "Powell's WrestleMania 34 live review: AJ Styles vs. Shinsuke Nakamura for the WWE Championship, Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns for the WWE Universal Championship, Charlotte Flair vs. Asuka for the Smackdown Women's Championship, Ronda Rousey and Kurt Angle vs. Triple H and Stephanie McMahon". Pro Wreslting Dot Net. Retrieved April 8, 2018.
 Powell, Jason. "WWE Raw Live TV Review: The Night After WrestleMania 34 edition". Pro Wreslting Dot Net. Retrieved April 9, 2018.
 Powell, Jason. "Powell's WWE Greatest Royal Rumble live review: 50-man Royal Rumble match, Brock Lesnar vs. Roman Reigns in a cage match for the WWE Universal Championship, AJ Styles vs. Shinsuke Nakamura for the WWE Championship, John Cena vs. Triple H, Undertaker vs. Rusev in a casket match". Pro Wreslting Dot Net. Retrieved April 27, 2018.
 Powell, Jason. "Powell's WWE Extreme Rules live review: Roman Reigns vs. Bobby Lashley, AJ Styles vs. Rusev vs. for the WWE Championship, Dolph Ziggler vs. Seth Rollins in a 30-minute Iron Man match for the IC Title, Bludgeon Brothers vs. Team Hell No for the Smackdown Tag Titles". Pro Wreslting Dot Net. Retrieved July 15, 2017.
 Powell, Jason. "9/3 Powell's WWE Raw Live TV Review: Labor Day edition with Shawn Michaels on the last Undertaker vs. Triple H match, The Bellas vs. Riott Squad, B-Team vs. The Revival for the Raw Tag Titles". Pro Wreslting Dot Net. Retrieved September 3, 2018.
 Powell, Jason. "10/22 Powell's WWE Raw Live TV Review: Roman Reigns announces he has leukemia, forfeits the WWE Universal Championship, Drew McIntyre and Dolph Ziggler vs. Seth Rollins and Dean Ambrose for the Raw Tag Titles, Ronda Rousey and Nikki Bella contract signing for WWE Evolution, Triple H and Shawn Michaels appear". Pro Wreslting Dot Net. Retrieved October 22, 2018.
 Powell, Jason. "11/05 Powell's WWE Raw Live TV Review: Survivor Series developments, Raw Tag Title match, Riott Squad vs. Sasha Banks, Bayley, and Natalya, Dolph Ziggler vs. Elias, Nia Jax vs. Ember Moon, Bobby Lashley vs. Finn Balor". Pro Wreslting Dot Net. Retrieved November 5, 2018.
 Powell, Jason. "12/10 Powell's WWE Raw Live TV Review: Seth Rollins on Dean Ambrose and the state of Raw, Alexa Bliss hosts a Ronda Rousey and Nia Jax press conference, final hype for WWE TLC". Pro Wreslting Dot Net. Retrieved December 10, 2018.
 Powell, Jason (February 11, 2019). "2/11 Powell's WWE Raw TV Review: Becky Lynch invited by the McMahon family, Seth Rollins responds to Brock Lesnar's attack, Kurt Angle's future, final Raw hype for the Elimination Chamber". Pro Wrestling Dot Net. Retrieved February 12, 2019.
 Powell, Jason. "WrestleMania 35 Kickoff Show results: Powell's live review of the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal, WWE Women's Battle Royal, Buddy Murphy vs. Tony Nese for the WWE Cruiserweight Championship". Pro Wreslting Dot Net. Retrieved April 7, 2018.
External links
Official WWE Raw Tag Team Championship Title History
WWE Raw Tag Team Championship history at Wrestling-Titles.com
vte
Current championships in WWE
vte
WWE Raw Tag Team Champions
Categories: WWE championships lists
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