s2

I remember that day when I had to leave them behind.

 The way everyone glared at me, the mix of sadness and anger and the faces of concerned and shock burned into my memory forever, knowing that they won't forgive me for this. The trust and love that they gave me, the respect that we thought would never dwindle away and the promise of a future full of beauty and tranquility all lasted into a disgusting smush of dust and despair. One of my children held on my leg tightly, trying to keep me from leaving, but I had to push them away. I had to push them all away, including... her.

I didn't want to leave them behind, I couldn't, I didn't want to, but after what I did, do they really want to see their father like this? I don't want my loved ones to be attached to the same path I led myself to. Especially her. When she stared at my eyes, with the glowing green eyes desecrating at my blue ones, it crunched mines up. I knew she was mad, angry, infuriated, disappointed, and abhorred in me. But even in all that mass amount of hatred, I could see the pity in her eyes. She didn't want me to go, but she knew I deserved it.

Everyone knew I deserved it.  I can still remember the names they've cursed at me;

"Traitor!"

"Deceiver!"

"Blasphemer!"

The words, they repeated. They kept on repeating to remind me of what I was, and what they all saw me as.

I'm so sorry, Orchoon. I wished I was able to do something, something to make it up, to change the way I am, but, no. No, I'm far from what everyone originally knew me as. I have to leave! I have to let go, I can't let anyone see me like this! Never will I let the actions of mines get in the way of peace that we were so blessed with.

...

Oh, no.

The light. It's calling me. It's flashing at me, looking at me in the eyes again! I can't let it get to me again, I won't let it! No, no, don't you get in my head again! I won't let you defeat me this time, your battle shan't be won! Depart from me, depart!

I lost my family, I lost theirs and everyone's trust, the grey-hatters are now trying to come for us, humans have been desperate for our forest- and it was all because of me! If I didn't blurt that thing out to everyone, things would've still gone out right! I wouldn't have to leave everyone behind, mothers wouldn't have to hold their children closely, birds wouldn't have been harmed, everything would've turned out right!

The light's too bright! The light's too bright! What have you done to me? When are you going to leave me alone for good?

Haven't you caused enough damage to me!?

--

"Is he okay? His eyes are twitching uncontrollably. Should we inform the other vets?" A vet suddenly asks, their voice grew with worry.

Their co-workers shook their heads. One of them puts on their gloves. "No, maybe there's something in its eye. Let me see." They grabbed a small flashlight and flared it on the cockatoo's eyes, navigating carefully.

"It's possibly another one of those little parasitic worms again." The vet assumed.

"We haven't had that kind of epidemic since the summer of 2007. No one wants to remember that." They exclaimed before clicking the flashlight off. "Nope, nothing inside of their eye. Probably just exhausted."

"It slept for like, five hours, Mary."

Mary turns at them, confused. "When?"

"Today." They reminded her.

"Well, it's old. It's going to sleep most often."

"That's good, then. The darn cockatoo has been the most troubling one these past few years, like, seriously! I'm tired of getting stitches because he bites me everywhere! Glad the bird's now getting old, at least it's not attacking us anymore." He ranted out, rubbing the parts of his body that were attacked by the temperate cockatoo.

"Means that we can take care of it easier." She optimistically says.

Luis sighed, rubbing his eyes. "If only that poor thing didn't lose its abilities to fly, we would've sent it back to its native place, or at least take it to a reserve."

"Coming from you, you'd grab it and take it to its place - or a reserve - in a flash." Mary dejectedly retorts.

"Mary, shush, don't say that in front of him." detested Luis, walking away from them.

"Oh, I will, so he can scratch you up again!" Mary yelled, following along with him.

"I swear, if he does, you're paying for my medical bills!"

-

Another vision. Darn it, that's the second one this week. Where is it coming from, and what is it telling me? I don't know, but whatever it is, it's got to stop. I'm too old to be having traumatic nightmares.

"Hey, Nigel! Feeling alright? I saw those two vets come to check on you."

"It's nothing, Garcia. I'm fine. Just another vision."

"A vision? You mean that vision you told me yesterday? It happened again?"

"Yes, of course, it did."

"Strange. How long has this been happening?"

"Don't know, but usually when my thoughts are completely silent."

"Well, the other birds and I are having a little discussion together, and we wouldn't mind if you joined- well if I wouldn't mind."

"I don't care and want to know what you guys are discussing about, so unless it's about me, leave me out of it."

"Garcia, stop bothering Nigel already!"

"Mom, he promised another story!"

"He'll do one later, now leave him be."

"Thank you. She was quite a bother."

"You're welcome. Slept well?"

"Like always, of course. Everytime I sleep, I'm always dreaming of... myself."

"What do you mean? Everyone does that."

"But mines far different. It's about my past. The past I never wanted to remember."

"What happened in the past?"

"A lot of things."

"You need to give me those reasons."