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Sep 19th, 2018
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  1. Oh no, she's gonna realize what she's done, even if she doesn't want to.
  2.  
  3. Right after the breakup, Slash is in a really bad spot. To get over it, she starts
  4. distancing herself from Anarki every way she can. After all, it's his fault that
  5. she's stuck in the arena, and he was the one who convinced her that her nightmares
  6. were somehow worth chasing. He's an awful person, and she can't believe she ever
  7. listened to him.
  8.  
  9. As time goes on, this turns into blaming Anarki for all the bad things she's done,
  10. and convincing herself that before he came around, she was doing alright. She was
  11. finally getting to grips with the visions inside her head (so she thinks), she was
  12. fixing herself up, and if Anarki hadn't come around and spun his tall tale, it
  13. would've worked out. It's all his fault. All the corpses along the way? All the
  14. robberies, all the researchers silenced? That was him. He had the gun. He convinced
  15. her that it was justified. If she had her way, they'd still be alive.
  16.  
  17. This is a complete lie that she's trying her hardest to believe. The old ones
  18. notice this, and decide to take advantage of the situation.
  19.  
  20. One day, Slash starts hearing a voice in her head - her own, disgusted at how
  21. blatantly she's lying to herself, trying to convince herself she's somehow a
  22. good person. It starts tearing her apart for her past, grinding her into the
  23. dirt for every single last bad thing Slash has done, beating it into her head
  24. that it's all her fault. Not Anarki's. Her's. She's worthless, she's bottom of
  25. the barrel filth, the world would've been better without her, and she will never
  26. get the chance to forget it.
  27.  
  28. At first, Slash objects to this, telling the voice that it's wrong about everything
  29. (and it is lying to some extent, to make it hurt more). But the voice just keeps
  30. going, beating her sins into her head, until eventually her will is completely
  31. broken and all she can do is lie on the ground, curled up and weeping, bergging
  32. the voice to stop.
  33.  
  34. And as much as I'd like to see a happy ending, the story probably ends here.
  35. Either she shuts off her emotions entirely and becomes the perfect arena combatant,
  36. or gets so busted up that she can't muster the will to fight anymore, and is left
  37. to wander the Dreamlands forever, with only her guilt and madness to keep her company.
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