yeah ofc it does
like every other disappointment in life i guess
it's not different
it's like getting mad for not passing a test

yea
but i kinda turn that into selfhate didnt excapt that again

why would u turn that into selfhate lol

so prolly that kinda why i "blamed" it on u - im sorry
bc im bad and fucked up

yeah maybe try to work on that? idk

not a very long time a ago life was really rough

yeah i kinda got a glimpse of it when u talked about it

y y ik i got a coach and talk to ppl like challenger and master tier ppl and friend of mine but in the end its up to me
mhm dont wanna go into details rn

but like
honestly
if i can be honest
i would've never asked to join a team or some other kind of project in life as well on which i didn't meet the prerequisites of
like u shouldn't even be mad because u shouldn't have been there in the first place
i guess i would've been grateful for the chance and that's all

mhm i get it or at least i understood it
im not sure but i think its kinda like thingy between me and myself
i mean its not over you know
and i can improve - i already did - so i just gotta play hard work hard and climb the ledder

yeah i guess?
tbh if i were u, i'd focus on myself first
because u don't seem to be in the right place rn

im in the wrong body
prolly thats what fucks me up rn
hmm but tbh i had a few thoughts to go back to a therapist

you should
it's always nice to talk to someone
even if nothing's wrong with u
it's always nice to do that

hmm i mean i dont think im depressed anymore but even tho just bc im trans and need assicents could be enough to talk n talk about feelin n stuff

yeah ofc u don't have to quit league
it's just that
i'd take it more slowly
it's not like this is your only chance in life
chill
breathe
and go on