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Jan 14th, 2012
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  1. ~Coming off an earlier convo~
  2.  
  3. <Dark_Sage> "Again, why?!" is not really a line. It'd be phrased "Again? Why?!"
  4. <Rem> No, no
  5. <Rem> I know it's awkward
  6. <Rem> But hear me out.
  7. <Dark_Sage> Sure
  8. <Rem> dakara dande doesn't not mean Again? Why?!
  9. <Rem> It basically means "As I've said/as I was saying, why?!"
  10. <Rem> Something along those lines.
  11. <Rem> it's basically her fukou da moment
  12. <Dark_Sage> "Oh, come on!" would suffice with a character that speaks like that? (not her, obv)
  13. <Rem> Yeah, something like that.
  14. <Rem> That's the idea.
  15. <Dark_Sage> so would "This again?!" work?
  16. <Rem> You point makes sense, as in
  17. <Rem> Again? (These weird orders again)
  18. <Rem> Why?!
  19. <Rem> But that's not obvious right away.
  20. <Rem> And yeah
  21. <Rem> That's work, but
  22. <Rem> I guess they wanted to keep the "why" in there.
  23. <Rem> Since she repeats it all the time.
  24. <Rem> Like, what
  25. <Rem> four times in the episode
  26. <Dark_Sage> "Why this again?!"
  27. <Dark_Sage> But perhaps I'm missing something. It's split up, right?
  28. [<Rem> Nah
  29. <Rem> There's just a pause.
  30. <Rem> dakara is literally "therefore"
  31. <Rem> but it's part of the same line
  32. <Dark_Sage> So would "Why this again?!" be the ideal phrasing?
  33. <Rem> I just noticed that you got the wrong idea about the line and made three paragraphs unrelated.
  34. <Rem> I suppose
  35. <Rem> That line isn't all that crash hot either.
  36. [<Rem> heh
  37. <Rem> It's a fairly awkward line to handle.
  38. <Dark_Sage> If it still sounds bad, I'll revamp it.
  39. <Dark_Sage> Basically I just need to include "why" and "again" in the same line, right?
  40. <Rem> The "why" is crucial, in this case.
  41. <Rem> But she doesn't refer to any actual event repeating.
  42. <Dark_Sage> "Why me?!"
  43. <Rem> She's just repeating her concern.
  44. <Rem> Hm, that could work.
  45. <Rem> Their main goal was to split the lines up.
  46. <Rem> So that's why they handled the line as they did.
  47. <Dark_Sage> "Why is this..." "happening to me?!"
  48. <Rem> Hm
  49. <Rem> That makes sense, sure.
  50. <Rem> That's about right.
  51. <Dark_Sage> I can make it shorter with "Why..." "is this happening?!" with the 'is this' being placed on either line, depending on the timing.
  52. <Dark_Sage> Or I can keep it with the slightly longer one.
  53. <Dark_Sage> Which is best?
  54. <Rem> I like both, but perhaps splitting the lines up into even word count would be best.
  55. <Rem> She says two short words, so one long line and one short one would raise eyebrows.
  56. <Dark_Sage> "Why is..." "this happening?!"
  57. <Rem> Yeah, that could work.
  58. <Rem> That's probably ideal.
  59. <Dark_Sage> All right, cool. I'll go edit my review. Thanks for setting me down the right path.
  60. <Rem> it's coo
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