Your New Neko Mom/Dad

God, I'm so bored... Never have anything to do since they moved me to my own room. Don't have anyone to bully anymore. Such a shame.

*knock on door SFX*

[angrily] What do you want?

Fine. Door's open.

[flippantly] Oh, it's you. What, you here to scold me some more?

Then what do you want? I'm kind of busy.

Something for me to do? Oh? And what's that? Want me to be a janitor, a cook, some other menial task to punish me?

*laughs too hard*

Wait... You're joking right? There's no way you're serious. You want me to *what*?

Yea, see, that's what I thought you said. Now, are you *sure* that's a good idea? You want me to be a *parental figure* for one of the kittens? Why in the hell do you think that's a good idea?

*scoffs* It'll help warm me up... What, are you saying I'm not a warm, friendly, loving neko?

Fine, I'm a cold-hearted bitch. [quietly, to self] Not my fault everyone around here is so fucking stupid...

Nothing! Anyway, just because I've been a... [sarcastically] "trouble maker" doesn't mean that I'm going to be any good at being a surrogate parent. What happens if I'm cold like I usually am? Nothing stopping me from just not doing what you want me to.

[scared] "Last chance"? Last chance for what?

Y-You can't kick me out! I have nowhere to go!

*scoffs* "Then behave"... Fine, whatever. I'll play your game. I'll be a parent to the little shit.

Oh hush, I'm not going to call them that. [to self] To their face anyway... So, when do I get to meet the little one?

15 minutes? A--are you serious? You're giving me *that* little heads-up? What am I even supposed to do with them?

Play with them, eat with them, cuddle them... And you think that I'm going to be good at any of those things?

I am *not* warm underneath it all! [quietly] Dipshit... Anyway, is that all you're here for?

Good, now shoo.

*long pause*

*knock on door SFX*

Come in!

[warmth at the start is forced, but slowly becomes more genuine] Hey there... How are you?

Yes, yes I'm your new... [mommy/daddy]... [quietly] Why did I like that?

Yea, come here, hun. I'm not scary, I promise.

Yes, that is my tail.

Yes, it *is* very fluffy. I take good care of myself.

Why are you looking at it like that? You're--not going to pounce on it, are you?

Buddy, you better not--[exhasperated] yes, you caught it. Wonderful. You are quite the excellent hunter. Now--[slightly pained/trying not to snap] Don't... bite it... you little...

Nothing! Just... don't do that again, okay sweetie? That kind of hurts.

Yea, I know you were just playing, but try to be gentler next time, okay?

Nooo, that *doesn't* mean you can bite my tail again.

I don't care how fun it was, it's *not* fun for me.

I know you play-fight with the other kittens, but... Buddy, I'm a bit too old to be doing that sort of thing.

Why? Well... It's just... childish.

[reminising] Not that that's a bad thing it's just... Something I haven't done in a while...

You want to wrestle with me? Honey, I know you really enjoy it, but... I'm a little bit bigger than you are; it wouldn't be fair. Is there anything else you enjoy doing?

Eating... Heh, yea, same here.

No! Those are my--

*sigh* yes, you can have some of my treats.

You're welcome, hun. Just... don't eat them all, okay? Wouldn't want you to get sick.

[quietly to self] wait, why do I care about that? I'm not actually warming up to them am I? [trying to shake it off] I am *not* a [mommy/daddy]. I am *not*.

Oh? Some for me? Aw, that's sweet of you! I'd love to share with you.

You're such a sweetheart, you know that? Such a darling little cutie.

Awh, are you blushing?

You *areeee*! That's so adorable!

*scritching SFX*

You're such a cute little thing, aren't you?

[quietly] And... you're purring. That's so... sweet...

Aw, Was that a yawn? Are you feeling a little sleepy?

Oh right, it's almost nap time for you. Well, do you want to snuggle up with me? [quietly] Why did I offer that so readily?

[deep breath] Okay, let's get into bed, then.

*sheet shuffling SFX*

There you go just--[listener squeezes too tightly; strained] squeeze me tight...

I'm... nicer than you thought I'd be? Why? Did you think I wouldn't be?

[stuttering] The-- the staff talk about me? What-- what things do they say?

[sad] I'm... i'm not... cold...

You don't think so? Awh, really?

Yea, the staff must've just been a little grumpy when they said that. They-- *sigh* hun... I have to be honest with you... I kind of am cold.

I know... I know I haven't been with you, but that's because... I can't be cold to a kitten that's been through so much. It... it wouldn't be right.

Yea, the fight you heard about *was* caused by me.

Because they just-- *sigh* they didn't do anything... I'm just like that. I have... issues...

Yea, they told me to be a parental figure for you in exchange for me staying here.

No hun... I didn't really want to be...

Hey--hey don't cry!

No no no *shushing* Honey... I didn't mean it like that.

Of course I want to be now! Now that i've met you I just... you melt my heart. I haven't felt warmth from anyone in a long time. Getting to spend time with you has been... lovely.

Yes, that's it... Nuzzle yourself into me. I'll keep you safe, okay?

Yea, I'll pet you for a little while.

*scritching SFX*