Elohemian

Unforeseen Consequences - A deal you can't refuse (pt. 1)

May 1st, 2016
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  1. >”Well my friend, what do you say? Will you take part on the greatest journey of your life? One that will give you adventures, knowledge and oh, who knows, fame and fortune? Or will you remain in this world, wallowing in your own misery?”
  2. >You are anon, and this has been one hell of a day, one that is sure to change your life for good.
  3. >During your lifetime you’ve seen some weird stuff, but this… This is on a whole new level. This creature… This Discord just appeared from what it seems nowhere and offered you a deal. To give up your life in favor of a new one, in what it could only be described as an alien world… his world.
  4. >And honestly? You were heavily considering the idea, after all you were about to blow your brains out a few moments ago, but…there was something about this creature that immediately set off a few alarms for you…
  5. >Something about how he talked and expressed himself made you think that there was something else going on, but on the other hand… you also felt that the real had some legitimacy if nothing because of the sole fact that this creature exists, and speaks… and could do things that just like his appearance, were a natural impossibility
  6. >”You are aware that we don’t have all day, right? Tick tock anon, your time is running out and my patience too” And this guy was also a mighty asshole too… hmmm… well, fuck it… you don’t lose nothing by asking more details about this deal
  7. “Ok Discord-“
  8. > The creature snapped his talons and made a Hawaiian shirt appear on you, along with those hay hats, and even a piña colada on your hand ”HA HA! I knew that you would say yes! Buckle up, boy because we’re traveling to…“ With another snap of his talons, a rift torn reality apart, creating what you assumed was a portal “Equestria!”
  9. >Jesus fucking Christ what was wrong with him?! Agh! You need to get every detail before this asshole drags you to wherever that portal leads to!
  10. “W-Wait a moment, you fucking asshole! I haven’t given an answer yet! You have to answer my questions first!”
  11. >”Oh, for the love of…” Discord slapped his face, rolled his eyes and replied you in an annoyed voice “Alright! But make it quick!”
  12. >Ok… Ok… the portal stopped… and he actually agreed to give you answers… now you have to make each question count
  13. “Okay, so Discord, you know that the human species is counted by the billions, right? What made you, an inter-dimensional visitor to decide to decide that I was the perfect candidate for this deal of yours, in other words: What were the parameters that you used to select me for this deal? “
  14. >Discord starts floating towards you, a shit eating grin being displayed across his face
  15. >”Oh, puh-lease! Do you honestly believe that I had some sort of reason to select you? That you are some kind of chosen one? Don’t be silly, I ended up in this office by pure coincidence, as for why I made you this amazing deal, well… the only thing that made you a perfect candidate is that you lack an evil heart, other than that… well, I think that lady luck really likes you Anon“
  16. “Uh-huh, a lack of evil heart you say? I call that bullshit, someone who fits that description wouldn’t had tried to blow his brains out with a revolver”
  17. >”We all do stupid mistakes Anon…” Discord shrugged “That doesn’t make you evil, you know?”
  18. >”So, is that all? Can we go now pleaaaase?” Discord was looking more impatient, but why? Why was there a time limit? Hmmm…
  19. “How long is this… trip going to last? And why are you even calling this a deal, I understand that if I agree then I get to know your alien world, but what do you win from it? What are you hiding from me, Discord?”
  20. >Discord approaches you even more, putting his face directly in front of you, never letting go of that shit eating grin of his.
  21. >”If you really want to know, then I will oblige…” Discord chuckled “This is a one way ticket, you will be there forever with no way back. As for what I win from this deal… That’s something that I have already established with our “benefactors” … And who those benefactors are, you may ask? Don’t worry your little human mind, you’ll meet them soon enough”
  22. “So I will be there…forever?”
  23. >Now that terrified you, so indeed have to give up this life of yours, and it wasn’t Discord but rather a third party who’s calling the shots… that’s worrying to say the least…
  24. >But the offer… You already fucked up everything here… you drove away everyone who ever cared about you, and of course… before this cunt waltzed into your office, you were about to kill yourself… the sad reality is that you had nothing to lose… but everything to win
  25. >”Ph.D. on quantum physics… Interesting… so that means you have a knack for researching stuff don’t ya?”
  26. >Discord interrupted your train of thought. You looked up and saw Discord inspecting every single thing that was hung on the wall
  27. “…Well… Yes… I do have a Ph.D. best of my class and best of the generation… heh, now you could even say that I’m the best on the country since I’m the first human to ever make contact with an alien species. ” You answered with a smug face…
  28. >”Oh ho ho ho, so we can be a little arrogant… but you can’t fool me, these titles mean nothing, your life is the biggest mess that I have ever seen, and I’m the lord of chaos. Come with me Anon, you already destroyed the current life that you have. Think about it, before I found you, you had already decided on ending your life by your own hand. The only option that is left for you is to come with me and have a fresh new start”
  29. >…Well… fuck… he’s right… you already were dead seat on killing yourself…you have no family, no friends… heh, the only things you have left are your material possessions and those can go fuck themselves for all you care.
  30. >Besides, you’re not going to miss anyone… except for Catherine… but she’ll get over it, she pretty much fucking hates you now… so, you guess that the only reasonable answer would be
  31. “Okay Discord… let’s go”
  32. >”Wonderful!” Discord clapped his paw and talon, he looked genuinely happy “But just so you know, you can’t back off now, we are in for the long run”.
  33. “That’s the only thing that worries… but I know how to handle assholes like you, so… whenever you want, mate”
  34. >”Humans are really some of the most curious and chaotic creatures that I’ve ever seen, you know that? That’s part of why I choose this world to begin with. It’s kind of a shame that we have to go now, but we’re on a schedule, with that said… Mind if I ask you a question of my own before the deal is sealed?”
  35. >Now this is odd, but you have to go along with this… The whole venturing into the unknown always gets you.
  36. “Alright Discord… shoot”
  37. >”Kinda funny considering that you were about to shoot yourself, but I digress. Tell me Anon, since you’re a scientist, I suppose that wouldn’t mind in telling little old me what is exactly the subject of your researches?”
  38. >Huh? Why would he ask such question… Heh! Maybe this prick actually got impressed by your curriculum? Whatever the case may be, you don’t see anything wrong with answering his question
  39. “Well since my work is very complex and involves a lot of scientific jargon, and given the fact that we don’t have time to go through the details, I suppose that it’ll be enough if I tell you that my field of research is about quantum chaos”
  40. >”Chaos?! Really?!”
  41. >He seemed kinda ecstatic for that response… weird
  42. “Yes, chaos, I’m an authority on chaos theory and applications of the correspondence principle on nuclea-”
  43. >”Oh don’t you try to lecture me on chaos, I’m the spirit of chaos after all! But I get it you’re good at chaos… that’s actually great! I can already tell that you and I are going to get along just nicely! … Anyways, ready to go?”
  44. “Just shut up and let’s fucking do this, mate…”
  45. >And then you felt a smack on the back of your head… making everything to go dark…
  46. “Fuck… you… Discord…”
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