Hi there. How are you? This is so much cooler than messaging you over steam, because I got this like super neat hand writing stuff. So anyways, how are you? I, myself, am doing quite well to be honest, I have not slept in a while but that's fine I can manage. I broke my chair so I have been using this exercise ball, and it's like super bouncy and stuff. I read somewhere that it's suppose to be better for your posture or something, but I don't know, it's different and cool I guess. I really wish I had a hobby in times like this where I could be doing something productive, like in middle school I used to play trombone, but I never really liked the trombone s it's like, "why didn't I pick something cool like saxophone? I could be playing some sick sexy saxophone music at six am". But no, I picked the stupid trombone then got kicked out three years later because I never actually learned how to play it. Actually, it was like two years, but still the fact that I made it that far by just blowing and moving the slide is kinda amazing. I think I read somewhere that you went to a ghetto middle school or something? That must be rough, I dunno. Where I live there is only one public middle school so the entire town who wasn't rich and snooty was there, and it was like whoah, people everywhere. But, that was the past and now onto high school. In high school there was still only that one school, but like there were no private schools, so the snooty preppy kids got shoved in here with people like me who wanted to eat them. So, 9th grade was scary, I was a freshman and like, my middle school group all moved away so it was only like three of us left, but I made it through with some friends, pretty much uneventful although this was the year when I announced to myself that I was a lesbian, not a bisexual, up until then it seems that the only reason I was dating guys was because I just felt as if it was something that was normal and everyone should do? Apparently, it isn't normal for someone to harbor no sexual feelings towards people of the opposite gender. Moving on to the 10th grade. 10th grade was pretty slamming too, met this one girl and we went out, she dumped me for some guy, then we got back together, then she cheated on me with him, then we got back together, then she cheated on me again so I dumped her. Nothing else happened much during this year, except where apparently kissing another girl in the Agriculture Department is considered offensive, so some girls in cowboy hats and boots talked to me after school and told me I was going to hell and whatnot, with all the slapping and bashing to the ground and kicking. The usual. 11th grade was pretty much the same, dating girls to have them cheat on me with some guys, except one girl she cheated on me with some bald girl, which was refreshingly different, but stung nonetheless. This was also the year where my parents found at that those girls I was hanging out with weren't just friends, they flipped their literal shit and it was pretty emotionally draining, but at least my dad got over it, when he's not drinking  at least. Well, by that standard I guess he's not over it at all. 12th grade wasn't too bad, I didn't date much and when I did I wasn't cheated on, we just had issues with "oh I'm sorry, it turns out I'm not attracted to girls" then jumps on every dick she sees. It's really hard to find a girl in deep Texas who is actually willing to touch another girl like that? Like seriously, I'm the only lesbian I know, all these girls I dated were bisexuals and it's kinda bad. Oh well. After 12th grade I got into college, I started to get close with this one girl who as the same name as me, just spelled different. I really like her, and I think she likes me? She just won't admit it because I don't know if she's okay with being attracted to a girl? She was raised in a strong catholic family, and I know it was hard for me to announce to myself that I liked girls like that. That being said,  don't even know if she's attracted to me, or if she just likes the attention, like that other girl who won't be named, we will just use the name "slutface" from now on. Anyways, another problem with dating her is that I am really close with her sister, pretty much best friends status, and whenever we hang out it's in threes, her her sister and me. So if we do become a thing, I don't want it to be overbearing on her so that's just horrible. Anyways, college was horrible, without my license I missed a lot of days when I couldn't get a ride, and when I did I was so lost and behind that I wasn't able to catch up so I failed out, and was banned from attending the spring semester, so my dad is pretty much forcing job applications down my throat, but that's fine. I need to get off my lazy ass and do something with my life, I'm kinda pathetic. Also, the driver license people are assholes. I don't need to look over my right shoulder when I'm pulling out from a one-way parking lot exit, if I looked over my right shoulder I would be like "oh grass. neat" So fucking pointless, why would you do that you crazy broad? Counted off so many points for not looking over my right shoulder even though I was using every goddamn mirror. So I failed the first time, but I can take it two more so I plan on correcting it eventually. Reminiscing on the old days makes me miss middle school, I had such a good thing going. My friends and I had a little group thing together called the "Rejects", stolen from Gorillaz's Reject False Icons campaign, we were really obsessed with that band back then. Well, our group was accounted for somewhere around twenty people? It was less of a group and more of a miniature gang with the amount of graffiti some of the members did, but we were close, kinda like a family. Which was nice, because none of us really had a family back home. The majority of us had divorced parents, or had to deal with fighting of the like when we arrived home. It was nice, but we were broken a part sadly. People moved away, some were forced due to the drug scandal at the school. Oh the drug scandal, someone apparently brought this huge fucking bag of weed to school the second day of the three day drug search. And they needed a place to store it, so one of the member's had the bright idea to store in his fucking locker, so guess who was caught with drugs in his locker? That dumbass, and the principal knew a few of us were associated with him so we were called up there as well. Oh well, he was shipped off north somewhere, and a few others were sent off to other places, our numbers dwindled that day but we stayed together until the 9th grade killed us. I'm still close with most of them though, the 'leader' or the queen of the group as she liked to be called is still one of my good friends, and the overly-religious kid we called "God-boy" is now my best friend, and he labels himself as an atheist now. Times change people I guess? Can't say it's always bad though. I think I'm done with this the I guess, just kinda felt like I should tell a story to someone and I picked you I guess. I kinda felt bad because I always wanted to be closer with you, but conversations are sometimes awkward and short-lived or something, and it made me feel guilty because I feel like Karkat and I are close as an e-friendship could go, although that's just how I feel. And, if he's in future marriagenessess with you, then you must be a super-amazing-fantastic person, and I believe you are, it's just, we aren't that close even though we are. I don't know, you dealt with my shitty art things and you wasn't a complete ass, which I appreciate even though I wouldn't think less of you even if you was, those drawings were shit and I even knew it at the time, just felt nice for some kind words, even though when I got them I saw them as hollow and they didn't really help. I guess drawing just isn't my thing, but that's fine I'm still happy, I guess. Relatively speaking, I could always be worse off. Anyways, I think this has dragged on far enough, and you don't have to read this far, but thank you for listening even though you might not have, I just felt this urge to spill my life all over someone's facial area. So, thank you. <3