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Greentext bucket

A_Smiling_Face Oct 15th, 2019 (edited) 502 Never
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  1. Greentext Bucket (Starting at thread 801) ft. tagging
  2. Tag a request with GTXT for me to easily ctrl+f it.
  3. Bonus points if it has birds.
  4. SMILEY WROTE NONE OF THIS ALL CREDIT GOES THE VARIOUS ANONS (If I write one it goes in the prompt bucket Seen here>)
  5.  
  6. Collected Greentext from Thread 801 [Roo][ROOmmate]
  7. >"Look. I need this, okay?"
  8. >Anon's kangaroo roommate lays half-naked on his bed, absolutely radiating with pent-up need.
  9. >But Anon was tired. Too much work, too little breaks, and an upcoming presentation the following day.
  10. >Nope, too tired.
  11. >"Shiela, I've haven't slept in 20 hou--"
  12. >"And I've been in heat for two weeks, my vibrator's been broken for three, while a replacement won't be here for another four!"
  13. >She's on her knees, grasping Anon by the arms as if begging to be saved.
  14. >Her eyes start tearing-up.
  15. >"Anon, please..."
  16. >A breif pause. Anon remains stoic.
  17. >Then slowly, he takes her arm... and gently brushes it off.
  18. >Anon makes a step to the right, then collapses face-first onto the bed. Just beside the needy 'roo.
  19. >Shiela stays there; kneeling, defeated. A pang of dredd in her gut and a bush fire somewhere lower.
  20. >She was about to burst. Whether with tears, rage, or something else; she didn't know.
  21. >But before hell or high-water a metalic jingle catches her ear.
  22. >Anon was fiddling with his belt, undoing his pants.
  23. >Failing at that, he rolls over onto his back and calls out to the doe.
  24. >"You're doing all the work. No sass if I fall asleep."
  25. >She practically jumps on his dick, the sudden weight crushing him.
  26. >"...UGH!...dammit..."
  27. >"Sorry! Sorry... but you're gonna have to get used to that~"
  28. >Sultry 'roo eyes stares into Anon's tired ones.
  29. >"If I can't walk tomorrow, you're driving me to work."
  30. >Despite his protests Shiela could feel the growing tent rubbing against her.
  31. >"Deal."
  32. >She closes it off with a deep, long kiss. Anon returns the favor.
  33. >Suprisingly eager for a man half-asleep.
  34. -------------------------------------
  35. Summertime Shotas
  36. From 817
  37. >Be a horny 13 year old
  38. >Chillin at the public pool, rubbin your meat against the Jets looking at the college shork in the red one-piece
  39. >Braincells that haven't been used in 3 years fire up once again to enact a terrible plan
  40. >Play dead while blowing bubbles in the deep end for about a minute
  41. >A few seconds later you're on dry land with the gal breathing down your throat
  42. >Verge of nutting
  43. >Go for the kiss
  44. >It lasts for a whole 2 seconds before she yelps in surprise
  45. >Next thing you feel are sharp teeth around your face
  46. >N U T
  47. >She instantly pulls back, hands on her mouth in shock and embarrassment at her reflex
  48. >There's a crowd of onlookers all around
  49. >Mission Complete
  50. ---------------------
  51.  
  52.  
  53. >From Thread 821
  54. Kitty Katchers
  55. > “Martin’s Lynx Removal Service.”
  56. > “Yeah, I got one. You gotta help me.”
  57. > “Right. Leeme get a pad and your address.”
  58. > You hear the sound of paper in the background, and tell him where.
  59. > The pen scratches over the phone, and you look over your shoulder.
  60. > “Got it. Can you describe her?”
  61. > “What the hell? I’ve got a fucking lynx in my house.”
  62. > “Listen, buddy. There’s all kinds of paperwork here.”
  63. > You don’t hear anything from the other room.
  64. > “...and if this isn’t straight my ass is grass. Being smug isn’t a crime...”
  65. > You can’t walk outside and let her out of earshot, she’d hear the door anyway.
  66. > “...but some smug B&E is what we don’t want to get the cops involved in.”
  67. > “Fine. About four foot three, tan and black. This isn’t garden smug.”
  68. > “Now that wasn’t that hard.”
  69. > You cup the phone closer as a long segment of traffic rumbles past.
  70. > He guides you through the rest of the description.
  71. > “OK. Let’s get the situation. She’s still there, right?”
  72. > “In the damned bedroom, asleep for now.”
  73. > “So what’s the motherfucking problem?”
  74. > “She’s a dirty street lynx, only has rags on, and is on expensive sheets.”
  75. > “Fuck her brains out.”
  76. > You get the equivalent of brain freeze without ice cream and scream quietly.
  77. > “The little thing stinks to high heaven!”
  78. > “Right. Toss her in the shower first.”
  79. > “What the hell? You’re supposed to be getting rid of her!”
  80. > “Nothing wrong with some fun before I come and get her.”
  81. > “And I’ve already tried tossing her out. She’s slippery.”
  82. > “That’s what bondage gear is for, numbnuts.”
  83. > You swear sotto voce.
  84. > “I heard that asshole. So let’s finish up. You were out...”
  85. > “Yeah, went to get groceries.”
  86. > “...and you get back, and there she is.”
  87. > “That’s it. Smug and sprawled on my couch. Smell less if it’d been skunked.”
  88. > “About standard if they’re close to heat.”
  89. > “So when will you be out here?”
  90. > “A few more things. Any signs of forced entry?”
  91. > “Nothing out of place.”
  92. > “That’s good. Clear B&E is dealing with the cops, and they’re not even.”
  93. > “What else?”
  94. > “So how long has she been there? An hour or two?”
  95. > “Three days.”
  96. > “Whoa, buddy. That’s a bit long to wait calling me.”
  97. > “I thought she’d leave on her own.”
  98. > “You’re more delusional than I thought. They’re worse than cockroaches.”
  99. > “Like I said, slippery. I don’t know what to do.”
  100. > “Calm down. One last thing. Did you feed her?”
  101. > While you wonder what that has to do with it, a voice is behind him.
  102. > “Honey, who’s on the phone?”
  103. > Her voices purrs, and you can hear him smack her ass.
  104. > “Just work, shortstack.”
  105. > Your voice can’t stay low and calm.
  106. > “Is this some sick fucking joke?”
  107. > “Buddy, you fed her. Wash her and tie her down. I ain’t helping.”
  108. > The phone clicks off.
  109. > You turn around.
  110. > The lynx is lounging against the doorway, a wide and clever grin on her face.
  111. > “I’ve never thought of that. Let’s go, big boy. Bathe me.”
  112. > The bathroom door closes, and she’s good at getting your clothes off.
  113. -------------------------------------------------------------------
  114.  
  115. From thread 826- A flock of Anon's wish to fornicate with a feathered raptor gf.
  116. >You fall over one another, clumsily groping and discarding clothing in the attempt to distract yourself from the awkwardness
  117. >You're a bit tipsy by the time she comes to your side, her eyes glued to your face as you lay on the floor
  118. >You look down at the floor, trying to remember the last time you ever tried to be intimate with a chick, but it feels as if you're standing in a morgue
  119. >Your dick aches and you know she's staring at you as much as she's eyeing you
  120. >She's not looking away from your dick, and you can hear her breathing heavily
  121. >The adrenaline of the moment is giving you an erection, and
  122. >and...she feels it through her clothes
  123. >She's sitting on your legs now, her legs wrapped around your thighs, and her hands are tangled in your hair, her fingers sliding under your ear, brushing your cheek
  124. >Her tail is wagging, the same one she used to wrap around you the night before
  125. >You
  126. >You ...
  127. like the feel of her tail around your waist, the pressure on your chest, the way her weight settles on you
  128. >She's not quite ready to come out yet, but her tail is pushing against your body, pressing you in, pushing you closer together
  129. >She kisses you like this
  130. >Your cock throbs and throbs
  131. >Her teeth nibble and bite on your neck
  132. >Your heart is pounding
  133. >She's so close, her pussy clenches around
  134. >around ... you, her tail pushing into you
  135. >You feel her tongue on your neck, her claws digging into your back
  136. >She comes, a stream of fluid erupting from her vagina, your cock pulsing with each wave
  137. >You have the most amazing time
  138. >You hold her tightly, her tail gently rubbing over
  139. >... gently rubbing over your cock
  140. >You hold her tight, her tongue licking and rubbing over your dick
  141. >You feel her tongue on your shaft
  142. >Her tail gently stroking your cock
  143. >She licks your cock, her tongue running along your shaft, her teeth digging deep into your back, sucking at your penis.
  144. >She releases your dick, pulling away from your cock, letting you relax
  145. >She sits up, and your cock twitches in your pants
  146. >You look up at her and smile
  147. >She leans into you, her tongue lightly licking you again.
  148. >You feel her tongue lapping at your cock, her head resting on top of your cock
  149. >She slowly starts to slowly lick you, her mouth wrapped around your shaft
  150. >Your breathing deepens, and she whispers in your ear "I want you so bad... I wanna see you cum"
  151. >She begins to suck your cock faster and faster
  152. >You feel her soft lips around your cock
  153. >You feel a little bit of wetness start to seep out of her mouth and onto your cock
  154. >She lets out a small whimper of pleasure and starts to slowly suck you harder and harder
  155. >You smile again, as she lifts up a claw and slides it over your cock head, stroking it with her other hand, which she uses to stroke her tail.
  156. >It's hard to keep your eyes open, so you just nod your head to show that you're enjoying it, but your heart is racing and you're about to blow your load when the raptor lifts her feathered head, kissing your cock head again.
  157. >Your eyes open slowly, and you can't help but stare in awe at her beautiful eyes and beautiful long tail.
  158. >She reaches down and begins to stroke the tip of your cock with her clawed hand. She lets out another small whimper of pleasure and takes you in her mouth again.
  159. >Your...
  160. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  161.  
  162. From 830 Anon fucks up
  163. >Had to go to family gathering for an early thanksgiving
  164. >Hey anon why dont you play some music!
  165. >Thought about this beforehand so I downloaded a holiday album
  166. >Play Jingle Bells and set my phone down to go to the restroom
  167. >Taking a huge dump when suddenly I hear the Tem shop background music
  168. >Sudden dread hits me
  169. >I forgot to delete the "Tem sucks dik for colleg" track
  170. >Began playing where I last came to it
  171. >Sitting in the restroom panicking what to do while I hear my family scrambling for my phone to shut it off through the slurping and chiptunes
  172. >Nobody would look me in the eyes when I grabbed my phone and left
  173. >Its been a week since theyve talked to me
  174. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  175. From 832 - Why are Human Males so Easy?
  176. >Panda: Like seriously, I can look my worst and humies will still say yes if I ask to fuck
  177. >Blondie: Haha, yeah... it's like all they're after are one night stands
  178. >Red: Says the girl who's still with Anon!
  179. >B: Red!
  180. >P: Anon... that humie you took home a month ago? You're still hanging with him?
  181. >R: He practically lives with her
  182. >B: RED! Really?!
  183. >P: AND you're keeping me in the dark? Biiitch, you better spill before I come barging through your door, and you know I have a spare key
  184. >B: Alright, I'll talk. Jeez... It started out like, well that. It was late, I was drunk and horny, so I grabbed the nearest, cutest humie and asked if he wanted to take me home
  185. >P: Bet he though real hard about that
  186. >R: Hush, girl. Let her finish
  187. >B: Anyway... we got to my apartment and I kinda, sorta, pretty much ripped his clothes off. He was a bit more delicate, slipping out my dress, even taking off my jewelry. And despite me being okay with doing it on the floor, he picked my drunk ass up and carried me to bed
  188. >R: Adorable
  189. >B: And look, maybe it was the alcohol, but that was the best sex I had in a long time. So I kinda just dropped after letting one out. I think he was still going when I lost it
  190. >P: Ouch. Harsh move, B
  191. >B: Ya think? When I woke up, his clothes were gone and it was quiet. It looked like he left. I couldn't blame him, not after a shitty night like that. So I hauled my naked ass out the bedroom and what do I see? Him. Anon. In the kitchen with two sets of toast and water. And you know what he said? "Morning, beautiful. Breakfast? You look like you need it." I didn't answer. Just went and drank a glass of water, grabbed some toast, and saddled up next to him by the counter. When he asked if I wanted to put on a shirt, I told him, 'I'm good'
  192. >Anon: Hope you still feel that way, beautiful
  193. >B: Anon?! The hell are you doing here?!
  194. >A: Red thought it was time I met your other friend. How's it going?
  195. >P: One question, Anon
  196. >A: Shoot
  197. >P: Why are human guys so easy?
  198. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  199. From 835 - Dammit Todd Howard
  200. >Anon is on his deathbed
  201. >He never gave up his dreams about his waifur
  202. >believes that after his death, he'll be together with her
  203. >the end is finally here
  204. >he closes his eyes
  205. >everything fades to black
  206. >and... nothing
  207. >absolute silence in a endless black void
  208. >that must be it
  209. >he's gone
  210. >death
  211. >no afterlife
  212. >no heaven
  213. >no hell
  214. >and no waifur
  215. >he then starts to hear something
  216. >the noises of a horse driven cart
  217. >suddenly he's blinded by a bright white light
  218. >a voice says "Hey, you. You're finally awake"
  219. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  220. Also from 835 Nightime Nothings~
  221. >"No you don't, you're a normie."
  222. >A fuzzy tail playfully baps you across the face, blocking your phone and the Tibetan Bone Carving forum that you like to frequent.
  223. >"Why else do we bang with the lights off?"
  224. >Removing the obstruction, you see your waifur sitting on the edge of the bed, wearing her favorite nightee -- a short silken dress that's see-through in just the right light.
  225. >Speaking of lights...
  226. >"Too much lighting makes me think of porn."
  227. >"Then stop visiting the red boards every night." She pipes, back still turned as she smoothes down her fur. "Honestly, I thought you'd at least tone it down after scoring this piece of tail."
  228. >"I dunno..." sitting up, you move behind to nip at her neck. She coos at the touch.
  229. >Then your hand finds her thigh, the hem of her dress, then the fur of her waist. She's naked underneath. "It reminds me of how good I got it."
  230. >"Don't go buttering me up, honey... not tonight anyway."
  231. >You throw her a grin before landing a peck on the cheek, then lay back on the bed.
  232. >She turns off the lights and follows suit.
  233. >"G'night."
  234. >It's cold. It's dark. But there's a warm body close to yours. It's enough.
  235. >"G'night."
  236. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  237. From 838 - Interesting Idea #3371
  238. >Skull Face is a radical human supremacist thanks to >muh war trauma
  239. >Believes that if there's just humans there will be true peace
  240. >Outer Heaven is a place that lets in anyone from around the world
  241. >Humans and anthros live in peace as warmongers on an oil rig
  242. >Boneboy has an autistic fit of rage and sucks off a certain cuck to blow up Mother Base
  243. >Venom goes into a coma to grow his harem once again
  244. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  245. From 838- Ideas of Flirty Lizard Ladies.
  246. >Your parents were wealthy nobles, major players in the kingdom you lived in.
  247. >However a revolution happened in the kingdom you lived in.
  248. >While it only lasted for about 3 weeks before the rebels were all killed, your mother was killed while trying to protect you.
  249. >After the failed revolution, your father moves to a small manor outside on a mountain outside of the city.
  250. >it usually very cold there but you loved it there as a child.
  251. >Your Father also got an Argonian maid to live up there to keep the place clean and to watch you.
  252. >She brought along her daughter who was your best friend growing up.
  253. >You both enjoyed playing together in the in the forest that was nearby and in the snow despite her being Argonian.
  254. >In your teenage years your father sent you to a boarding academy, however you got to see your father and your friend during holidays.
  255. >However your father never got to see you graduate as he passed away from an illness during your final year at the school.
  256. >After graduation you inherited you father wealth and manor.
  257. >you then notice your old childhood friend has become the new maid.
  258. >and she has grown up to be very attractive.
  259. >And she won't stop flirting with you
  260. >oh dear
  261. feat. Other Anon's expansion
  262. >Tired of her constant flirting you eventually decide to give her a taste of her own medicine.
  263. >She's flustered at first, but then begins to double down on it.
  264. >You secretly enjoy it.
  265. >The sexual tension runs high between you two.
  266. >Eventually one evening you return home from a meeting of Nobels.
  267. >You lay down in your study, stressed out about the meeting.
  268. >This may not be the life for you,
  269. >Your Childhood friend/maid comes in with a drink for you.
  270. >She flirts with you and you flirt back, you know the usual.
  271. >And then, she offers to help you "relive some stress."
  272. >The next morning you discover that despite being cold blooded, Argonians are warm in all the right places.
  273. >The two of you start to go steady after that.
  274. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  275. From Thread 838, Horny Horned Rat
  276. >the great horned rat figures out an easier way to take over the surface world
  277. >sends out word that skaven females are to stop being warp fucked
  278. >to start using them like regular and special units
  279. >but keep them just as horny
  280. >then when you have enough send them to human towns and wait for horny human men/boys to get grabbed by horny skaven females or the reverse happens
  281. >then just wait a couple days before the whole place has been converted to rat pussy
  282. >but then it backfires when the skaven females like the human men better since they won't backstab them at any moment and didn't turn them into warp abominations
  283. >so now you got a bunch of humans and skaven working together has a sort of small army
  284. >then to muck it up even more the female skaven keep worshiping the great horned rat, but change some interpretations and cause the god to split so there's a female and male version
  285. >she's a goddess of fertility, female rats, and breeding with human males
  286. >sigmar laughs in the divine plane until he starts getting hit on by the great horned mother
  287. >the slann rrrreeeee at the new wave of rats soon to be born
  288. >gork and mork don't understand and need to be taught what sex is
  289. >khorne is still mad so no change, nurgle is happy people are getting along, tzeentch pretends it was all "just as planned", and slaanesh is fapping furiously
  290. >the elves are pissed since elves are always tsundere for humans
  291. >and the dwarves aren't even surprised
  292. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  293. From 839 Raptor Family Life
  294. >Early Saturday morning
  295. >Cuddled up with your raptor wife
  296. >You are pulled out of slumber by the sounds of claws tick tacking on the floor, and the sudden weight of 3 raptor chicks jumping into the bed, and hopping up and down on you
  297. >It's pancake day, and they aren't going to let daddy forget like he did last weekend
  298. >You catch your wife looking at you out of a barely open eye, failing to hide the beginnings of a smirk as you give your kids a good morning kiss, and usher them off the bed
  299. >All except the biggest one, who demands you complete the odd morning ritual you two have
  300. >With a smile and a small laugh, you pick him up, take aim at a pile of pillows set up across the room for this specific purpose, and hurl him into them
  301. >He immediately hops up, spins in circles squawking and sprints out toward the kitchen where his siblings wait
  302. >You'll never forget the day you found out he likes to fly, when you flopped on the bed after a long days work, not knowing your son was hiding in the bed to surprise you, and nearly sent him into high orbit
  303. >After prying your wife's sickle claw away from your throat, you showed her that not only was the chick ok, he had loved the ride, and thus began the morning ritual
  304. >You give your wife a kiss, and leave her to freshen up in the bathroom while you go and start breakfast
  305. >You walk into the kitchen, your arrival punctuated by a Cretaceous cacophony
  306. >The kids are running circuits throughout the kitchen, over and under chairs, the table, and slaloming through cupboards
  307. >You make your way to the counter and prepare to make some mofuggin pancakes
  308. >You get out the pancake mix, two bowls and the syrup
  309. >Maple for you and the chicks, blueberry for your wife
  310. >You get to work mixing, listening to the chicks play behind you, sometimes having to turn around and give a stern "HEY" when the playing gets too rough
  311. >Your wife has come downstairs, the sunlight streaming through the window illuminating her in the most beautiful fashion
  312. >She sees you've got the pancakes handled, and starts setting the table
  313. > You prepare to add the special ingredient to the kids mix
  314. >As you reach down to the cabinet where they are hidden, you suddenly hear the commotion behind you stop
  315. >Turning around, you see 3 tiny raptors, staring at you in rapt attention.
  316. >You slowly, ever so slowly, produce a bag of chocolate chips from below the counter
  317. >Jurassicjamboree.wav
  318. >The kids can barely sit still, all barking in their own unique voices
  319. >The biggest one, your son, produces a healthy SQUAWK
  320. >the middle sibling, one of your daughters, always trying to be like her big bro, let's out an ARK
  321. >And the smallest chick, your youngest daughter, gathers her energy and goes OOGH
  322. >your wife doesn't like it when you laugh at her for that, but you can't help at least chuckling, such a small creature letting out such a large, funny sound
  323. >Fucking OOGH
  324. > you add the chocolate chips to their mix, take both bowls over to the stove, and pour them out into pans
  325. > A short while later, breakfast is ready
  326. >The kids immediately dig into their pancakes, voraciously tearing them asunder
  327. >Your oldest daughter likes to dip her chocolate chip, syrup soaked pancakes into her orange juice, a fact that, were she not a small child, you'd go on a huge rant about how disgusting that is
  328. >You slide the regular pancakes onto two plates, and bring one over to your wife
  329. >Her feathers lift up a bit as you set the plate in front of her, and she gives you a kiss
  330. >Or at the very least, bumps her snout against your lips and gives you a lick
  331. >She adds some fresh fruit to her pancakes and just a light layer of blueberry syrup, while you smear butter and drizzle maple over yours
  332. >Now that everyone's eating, you turn on the TV, and let the kids watch some cartoons
  333. >After the last few incidents, you have a strict rule about eating breakfast at the table, so they'll have to deal with watching it from there
  334. >As the chicks tear apart their breakfast, you turn to your wife
  335. >She's watching the kids with a dreamy smile on her face, and leans over and rests her long snout on your shoulder
  336. > You wipe a bit of blueberry syrup off of her muzzle, and tell her that it's her turn to wash the syrup out of the kids feathers
  337. >She flashes a sharp toothed grin at you, remembering the last time you had to try and get 3 hyperactive raptor chicks into a tub
  338. >It was all fun and games splashing around and throwing water everywhere until mom came in and put an end to that real quick with a snap of her jaws and a loud growl
  339. >The kids had calmed down after that
  340. >She says she believes she can manage them, and you start to clean up
  341. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  342. From 842 - FuckFur on twitter
  343. (Reposted from unknown thread)
  344. >Imagining furry women listening to this song and keeping it at the top of the charts for weeks
  345. >Human x furry women relationships rise drastically
  346. >A lot of furbois find their girlfriends asking for open relationships or just outright cheating
  347. >#FuckFur trends on twitter filled with pictures of furry women with human men
  348. >Lil Tygah retweets almost every pic and mocks furbois constantly on her twitter
  349. This is the world I want to live in
  350. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  351. From 842 Lil Tygah
  352.  
  353. Alright then, why not?
  354. >After the success of "Fuck Fur," Lil Tygah announces she'll be working on a new album that will go in even harder on furbois and how good humans are
  355. >The announcement keeps Fuck Fur at number 1 on the charts for even longer
  356. >Her new album becomes one of the fastest preordered of all time, earning over a million orders in just a few days
  357. >She posts the demographic breakdown for preorders on Twitter along with a video
  358. >67.8% furry women
  359. >18.2% furry men
  360. >14% human men
  361. >In the video she's laughing and mocking furbois
  362. >"Ahahaha, how many of you furbois are buying this at your girlfriend's request? How many of you are gonna insist in the replies that you just like how my music sounds, you don't really listen to the words? How many of you get off to knowing you can't compare to human cock and love hearing you talk about how much better they are? Don't lie now, I've seen you pathetic furbois slobbering over my lyrics on your fur only forums!"
  363. >She posts a followup tweet that says "Anyone who admits they're a pathetic furboi who can't compare to human cock, admit it and tag it with #PatheticFurboi and I'll retweet ya!"
  364. >#PatheticFurboi gets trending
  365. >Her Twitter is filled with retweeted selfies of furry men admitting their inadequacies
  366. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  367. Anon Meets the Locals (Honest, long neck ungulates will be the death of me) From thread 855
  368.  
  369. >well now you've gone and done it
  370. >they warned you this would happen
  371. >you wandered off from the tour group to snag some pictures of a herd of oryx
  372. >and when you got back the jeep was gone
  373. >all that was left was a cloud of dust slowly dissipating in the afternoon sun
  374. >leaving you in the shit you're in now
  375. >laying against some random tree, sipping your water and waiting for your emergency phone to charge
  376. >as you relaxed thinking of ways to blame someone else you saw something approaching
  377. >it wasn't human by a long shot, too big
  378. >as it got closer you could make out her, very obvious by this point, features
  379. >tan and mottled brown fur, massive fuckoff neck and tits the size of your head
  380. >the giraffe stood over you, looking down at this strange beast in her home
  381. >you were may have been a manlet, standing at a crisp 5'12", but she made you feel even smaller
  382. >"mmh? mwanadamu anafanya nini hapa peke yake"
  383. "what"
  384. >you never learned that monkey language, choosing the other monkey language, Spanish instead
  385. >"Anaonekana ana nguvu pia, labda raha"
  386. >she kneels down, her tits right in front of your face
  387. >she sniffs at your hair, and feels you up
  388. >her hooved fingers slipping into your clothing
  389. >you would normally stop her, but considering the nice view and your tiredness, you just sit back and let her explore
  390. >her hands find their way up your shorts landing on your growing erection
  391. >you hear her stifle a gasp
  392. >"yeye ni mkubwa pia"
  393. >her hands leave your shorts and she scoots herself closer, sitting her naked body on your crotch
  394. >gently she pulls your head to look up at her
  395. >her large brown eyes studying you intently, she uses a finger to pull your mouth open
  396. >she looks at your teeth, and pulls her hand back
  397. >"hii itafanya vizuri tu"
  398. >then drops her head to meet yours in a kiss
  399. >her heavy lips enveloping yours as her tongue slides forward, pressing for entrance
  400. >you take a moment to think this over
  401. >you're out in the middle of fuckoff nowhere
  402. >being 'molested' by a hot 200kg giraffe who wants your babies
  403. >with nobody coming to find you for another three or four hours
  404. >fuck it, not like you had anything better to do
  405. >you wrap your hands around her hips massaging the soft flesh of her ass
  406. >you open your mouth wondering if the legendary foot long giraffe tongue is real
  407. >she makes an excited squeak and her tongue pushes into your mouth
  408. >and keeps pushing
  409. >and keeps pushing
  410. >she tickles the back of your throat making you shudder from the suppressed reflex before backing up just a little
  411. >yup
  412. >yeah that's real alright
  413. >you in turn accept her gift and suckle on the long muscle violating your mouth
  414. >you're doing something right because your new best friend is moaning into your kiss
  415. >she redirects your hands from her ass to her breasts, then goes back down to undo your shorts
  416. >exposing your hard cock to the open air and her very warm body
  417. >massaging her folds with a hand she grinds on your dick, spreading her nectar on your shaft and body
  418. >she slides her hips all the way up, and slowly presses herself down
  419. >filling her giraffe pussy with your dick
  420. >it didn't fit well, just a tad small but that didn't seem to bother her
  421. >soon she was pounding her hips against yours
  422. >you grabbed her sides to hold on for dear life as she made love to you
  423. >she, was really getting into it, pressing her tongue back into your throat, going deeper while you were distracted by your dick and the hip shattering woman using you
  424. >her tongue pressed down your throat
  425. >pushing past your Adam's apple before stopping
  426. >she moaned as you felt her tongue wiggle around in your throat and her pussy clench around your dick
  427. >you couldn't breathe, but she didn't seem to care
  428. >being forced to weather the storm of her orgasm you grunt and slap her hips
  429. >she doesn't care but finally slides her tongue back as her clenching slows
  430. >you coughed and sputtered as that both demonic and heavenly tongue leaves your mouth
  431. >she was panting and making all sorts of lewd noises as her slamming slowed
  432. >but you weren't don't, you may not have minded being used but you'd be damned if you didn't get off
  433. >digging your fingers into her hips you thrust as best you can
  434. >the giraffe takes your hint and starts grinding her hips against yours again
  435. >soon you were feeling a build up in your balls
  436. >warnings of a coming storm
  437. >you tap her hip, trying to let her know you're about to blow
  438. >tapping is a universal symbol it seems
  439. >since she dove back down to fill your mouth with her tongue again and doubled her efforts
  440. >you held back as long as you could, but with this massive goddess using you like she was you didn't stand a chance
  441. >gasping, you pushed as deep as you could and exploded
  442. >your orgasm filling her hot insides white as your mind blanked
  443. >a rush of endorphins making you feel light headed and giddy as you filled her
  444. >your shots soon petered off
  445. >your softening dick sliding out of her, bringing with it a mix of fluids
  446. >your giraffe pulled back from your kiss and rolled to her side, viewing her handy, (hoofy?) work
  447. >then she placed her head on your belly, her long dark purple tongue sliding out to clean you up
  448. >as it reached your balls you realized how merciful she was
  449. >her tongue wrapped your cock and balls as her head slid down your body to engulf them in her warm mouth
  450. >suckling you like you suckled her
  451. >with a wet pop she pulled off your genitals, leaving them shiny and clean
  452. >she rubbed your chest, muttering
  453. >"lazima niwaonyeshe kwa wasichana wengine"
  454. >before dozing off, riding her high into a nap
  455. >you joined her, wondering you you'd even need your phone anymore
  456. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  457. The Bucketmaster writes
  458. >It is the year 2500
  459. >Humans are in space
  460. >Unfortunately the waifurs aren't there
  461. >:(
  462. >/hmofa/ is still here
  463. >well not really, it moved to boards.inspacechan.mar/trash2
  464. >Every single story written in the 21st century has been adapted into graphic novels or screenplays
  465. >Due to the literal trillions of humans its actually profitable with normies
  466. >Men like it but there is opposition
  467. >Particularity with the rising femcel demographic
  468. >However on 18.3.2501 something changed
  469. >A new being was born
  470. >The bloodlines hailing from all the OG writers or their relatives have made it
  471. >A master of genetics
  472. >By age 4 he made waifurs
  473. >By 5 he grew happy and made waifeathers
  474. >At 6 every waithro was able to be tailor made.
  475. >Human males acquired millions of them their sons human, daughter a random anthro
  476. >Colonization went apeshit
  477. >The birthrate tripled in four years
  478. >HappyAlfaBallAkellaSharkReyCashTrial_Face.exeCreations Hart did it.
  479. >Of course his name was several pages long in actually but this was his spacebucket.com username
  480. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  481. From Thread 964
  482. >Childhood friend waifur and Anon depart.
  483. >Anon never thought of friend as a lover
  484. >Waifur thought taking lovers would make him want her
  485. >Now its the eve of Anon's departure, his bags are packed, he's taking a long walk around his hometown, taking it in one last time for a long time.
  486. >He goes to the hill where he and Waifur used to play as kids, cracks a beer and drinks watching the sunset.
  487. >As orange fades to indigo the waifur approaches.
  488. >She approaches him cuddles up next to him like they did when they were kids.
  489. >Anon reaches into his pocket, grabbing a folded polariod, he and a group of buddies at a place some far off land.
  490. >"I'll be there soon." He says smiling.
  491. >"What about me?" the Waifur protests.
  492. >"You'll do fine." He says staring off into the distance.
  493. >"B-But I want you!" She cries.
  494. >He turns to her, a somber look in his eyes.
  495. >"Really? You never showed it."
  496. >He leaves the hill and towards his future, to a far off land.
  497. >She sits there on the hill, alone, tears in her eyes.
  498. >She won't see Anon for years.
  499. >She looks back on her past, crying to Anon after breakups, but never showing anything beyond that.
  500. >Tears soak into her furred face as she realizes her mistakes, her passive affection.
  501. >The years pass quickly for Anon, he returns a new man.
  502. >Waifur he so happy to see him, she offers to pick him up.
  503. >Tail wagging, ears standing straight up she searches for Anon at the airport.
  504. >He exits, a suitcase in hand.
  505. >She runs up to hug him
  506. >"Its been a while hasn't it?"
  507. >"Too long Anon."
  508. >"Sorry, here I'd like you to meet my wife..."
  509. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
  510. Bucketmaster writes again (most Anon's just make their own pastebins these days)
  511. >Be me
  512. >50 years old
  513. >Married Ravenfu mid twenties
  514. >made babies from late twenties to early thirties
  515. >Like nine kids
  516. >Thanksgiving day
  517. >Oldest son is back from college with fiance
  518. >Oldest daughter with the family next door's human son.
  519. >The twins are halfway through eighth grade.
  520. >Snotty little shits but fun to watch.
  521. >You've grown grey, and so has your wife to a lesser extent
  522. >Just grey on the tips of her feathers and base of her beak.
  523. >You aren't the up and coming engineering hotshot you once were.
  524. >She isn't the endlessly energetic nurse either.
  525. >As the turkey is cooking you grab the old pigskin and call out to the family.
  526. >Your dad insists he can still "throw like Earl Morrall in '72"
  527. >the grannys, the aunts, and the wife sit down in lawn chairs, except for Aunt Katie, she's "still got some flight in these feathers"
  528. >Your son stands across from you ready to hike the ball
  529. >He's like you in your prime but three inches taller
  530. >And he's engaged to a Mexican Jaguar
  531. >"I'm gonna get you this year pops!" He says with the same competitive and determined look in his eyes he's had since he was four.
  532. >You smile
  533. >You hike the ball to your brother
  534. >"Go Long"
  535. >You run
  536. >Your littlest nephew "tackles" you with all of sixty pounds
  537. >Your wife is narrating the game like an NFL announcer.
  538. >A Hour and a half passes.
  539. >The women return indoors
  540. >"Supper time Hun!" Your wife calls.
  541. >It's a feast.
  542. >Turkey, Ham, Sweet Potatoes, mashed potatoes, deviled eggs, salad, collard greens, fired okra just to list a few.
  543. >Prayers and thanks are shared before the conversation begins in full.
  544. >Starts of catching up, to the poking fun at the kids, to the annual political D(shouting match)ebat
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