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Plunger

a guest Feb 22nd, 2013 69 Never
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  1. [03/05/2012 8:52:06 PM] Queyntes: yes ben, try putting screwdrivers up your butt
  2. [03/05/2012 8:52:35 PM] Mr. T: Why?
  3. [03/05/2012 8:52:41 PM] Gamma Orionis: So that you can know what it feels like.
  4. [03/05/2012 8:53:12 PM] Mr. T: What kinda screwdriver? Flat-head or Phillips-Head?
  5. [03/05/2012 8:53:18 PM] Queyntes: philips
  6. [03/05/2012 8:53:22 PM] Gamma Orionis: It doesn't matter, you stick the rounded end in first.
  7. [03/05/2012 8:53:41 PM] Queyntes: he's new at this though, so he should start with the head
  8. [03/05/2012 8:53:57 PM] Gamma Orionis: But you can't feel the head :(
  9. [03/05/2012 8:54:32 PM] Queyntes: xD you should try it ben
  10. [03/05/2012 8:54:36 PM] Queyntes: get a screwdriver
  11. [03/05/2012 8:54:47 PM] Mr. T: Give me one good reason.
  12. [03/05/2012 8:54:47 PM] Gamma Orionis: You'll enjoy it.
  13. [03/05/2012 8:55:20 PM] Queyntes: ^ porn star talking. she knows what's good, bennie [03/05/2012 8:56:09 PM] Mr. T: I'm probably not going to do it.
  14. [03/05/2012 8:56:15 PM] Gamma Orionis: Why not?
  15. [03/05/2012 8:56:31 PM] Mr. T: Maybe I don't want to shove a screwdriver up my ass.
  16. [03/05/2012 8:56:35 PM] Gamma Orionis: Why not?
  17. [03/05/2012 8:56:43 PM] Queyntes: you'd like it
  18. [03/05/2012 8:56:53 PM] Mr. T: It doesn't seem like I'd enjoy it that much.
  19. [03/05/2012 8:57:01 PM] Queyntes: but how would you know? xDD
  20. [03/05/2012 8:57:04 PM] Queyntes: gamma knows
  21. [03/05/2012 8:57:07 PM] Gamma Orionis: Why wouldn't you enjoy it?
  22. [03/05/2012 8:57:20 PM] wilson the volleyball: oh my god
  23. [03/05/2012 8:57:23 PM] wilson the volleyball: let me count the ways
  24. [03/05/2012 8:57:23 PM] Gamma Orionis: You should enjoy it MORE than me.
  25. [03/05/2012 8:57:32 PM] Gamma Orionis: You have a prostate.
  26. [03/05/2012 8:57:42 PM] Gamma Orionis: Shut up Wilson, you don't know anything.
  27. [03/05/2012 8:57:53 PM] wilson the volleyball: i wasn't talking to you
  28. [03/05/2012 8:57:59 PM] Gamma Orionis: Oh, then never mind.
  29. [03/05/2012 8:58:03 PM] wilson the volleyball: i was saying how much i love you and quey
  30. [03/05/2012 8:58:11 PM] Queyntes: especially me, because i'm sexier
  31. [03/05/2012 8:58:16 PM] wilson the volleyball: yes
  32. [03/05/2012 8:58:19 PM] wilson the volleyball: forever
  33. [03/05/2012 8:58:41 PM] Gamma Orionis: Now answer, Ben.
  34. [03/05/2012 8:59:13 PM] Mr. T: Will I shove a screwdriver up my ass? Maybe.
  35. [03/05/2012 8:59:30 PM] Gamma Orionis: No, my question was why you don't think you would enjoy it.
  36. [03/05/2012 9:00:03 PM] Mr. T: Well, I'm not sure I enjoy shoving things up my ass because I think it would hurt. A lot.
  37. [03/05/2012 9:00:10 PM] wilson the volleyball: only at first
  38. [03/05/2012 9:00:34 PM] Gamma Orionis: Not if you stretch it out with your fingers a bit and use lube.
  39. [03/05/2012 9:01:08 PM] Mr. T: I'm sorry if I'm not replying at first. The Chat Thread is coming back to life.
  40. [03/05/2012 9:01:26 PM] Mr. T: I might do it.
  41. [03/05/2012 9:01:54 PM] Gamma Orionis: You're missing the point of my question.
  42. [03/05/2012 9:02:10 PM] Mr. T: I guess I'm nervous. That's all.
  43. [03/05/2012 9:02:21 PM] Gamma Orionis: You shouldn't be.
  44. [03/05/2012 9:02:29 PM] Mr. T: Why not?
  45. [03/05/2012 9:02:38 PM] Gamma Orionis: Because it's just a screwdriver.
  46. [03/05/2012 9:02:45 PM] wilson the volleyball: yeah it's not like
  47. [03/05/2012 9:02:47 PM] wilson the volleyball: a baseball bat
  48. [03/05/2012 9:02:50 PM] wilson the volleyball: or a human fist
  49. [03/05/2012 9:02:54 PM] wilson the volleyball: or a python
  50. [03/05/2012 9:03:00 PM] Gamma Orionis: or a disease-ridden penis.
  51. [03/05/2012 9:03:02 PM] wilson the volleyball: all of which i have seen in pornography
  52. [03/05/2012 9:03:18 PM] Mr. T: I'll think about it.
  53. [03/05/2012 9:03:54 PM] Gamma Orionis: You don't THINK about this kind of thing.
  54. [03/05/2012 9:03:57 PM] Gamma Orionis: You just do it.
  55. [03/05/2012 9:04:00 PM] Gamma Orionis: Go get a screwdriver.
  56. [03/05/2012 9:04:20 PM] Mr. T: And shove it up my ass?
  57. [03/05/2012 9:04:27 PM] Gamma Orionis: NO, AND EAT IT.
  58. [03/05/2012 9:04:35 PM] Gamma Orionis: WHAT HAVE WE BEEN TALKING ABOUT FOR THE LAST TWENTY MINUTES?
  59. [03/05/2012 9:04:43 PM] Mr. T: Alright. I'll go do it.
  60. [03/05/2012 9:04:50 PM] Gamma Orionis: Good for you!
  61. [03/05/2012 9:04:59 PM] Queyntes: yay! you'll love it ben :3
  62. [03/05/2012 9:05:00 PM] Mr. T: BRB
  63. [03/05/2012 9:06:33 PM] Mr. T: btw, my cat says hi
  64. [03/05/2012 9:06:46 PM] wilson the volleyball: HI KITTY
  65. [03/05/2012 9:06:50 PM] Queyntes: the amazing underwear licking speaking cat
  66. [03/05/2012 9:06:51 PM] wilson the volleyball: MEOW MEOW HURP DURP
  67. [03/05/2012 9:07:00 PM] wilson the volleyball: i'm high
  68. [03/05/2012 9:07:15 PM] Mr. T: Really?
  69. [03/05/2012 9:07:27 PM] wilson the volleyball: just shove it
  70. [03/05/2012 9:08:06 PM] Mr. T: Got the screwdriver.
  71. [03/05/2012 9:08:14 PM] Gamma Orionis: Fantastic!
  72. [03/05/2012 9:08:19 PM] Gamma Orionis: Now take off your pants...
  73. [03/05/2012 9:08:27 PM] Mr. T: 1 sec
  74. [03/05/2012 9:09:34 PM] Mr. T: got it.
  75. [03/05/2012 9:09:59 PM] Queyntes: are you...?
  76. [03/05/2012 9:10:14 PM] Gamma Orionis: Have you ever put anything in your ass before?
  77. [03/05/2012 9:10:20 PM] Mr. T: Once.
  78. [03/05/2012 9:10:25 PM] Gamma Orionis: What?
  79. [03/05/2012 9:10:28 PM] wilson the volleyball: what was it
  80. [03/05/2012 9:10:37 PM] Mr. T: I'm not telling you two.
  81. [03/05/2012 9:10:42 PM] Gamma Orionis: Why not?
  82. [03/05/2012 9:10:45 PM] Gamma Orionis: Believe me, I've heard everything.
  83. [03/05/2012 9:10:47 PM] Queyntes: will you tell your bestie? =)
  84. [03/05/2012 9:10:53 PM] Mr. T: Alright.
  85. [03/05/2012 9:11:00 PM] Mr. T: It was a plunger. Excuse me.
  86. [03/05/2012 9:11:26 PM] Gamma Orionis: Like, for a toilet? That kind?
  87. [03/05/2012 9:13:10 PM] wilson the volleyball: wat
  88. [03/05/2012 9:13:14 PM] Mr. T: I'm back.
  89. [03/05/2012 9:13:23 PM] Gamma Orionis: A toilet plunger?
  90. [03/05/2012 9:13:32 PM] Mr. T: It was brand new and it was clean.
  91. [03/05/2012 9:13:39 PM] Queyntes: the handle, of course?
  92. [03/05/2012 9:13:50 PM] Mr. T: Yes.
  93. [03/05/2012 9:13:53 PM] Queyntes: why?
  94. [03/05/2012 9:14:04 PM] Gamma Orionis: The screwdriver will be NOTHING compared to that.
  95. [03/05/2012 9:14:08 PM] Mr. T: I don't know. I was curious, I guess.
  96. [03/05/2012 9:14:14 PM] Mr. T: And you're right. It wasn't.
  97. [03/05/2012 9:14:22 PM] Mr. T: brb
  98. [03/05/2012 9:14:29 PM] wilson the volleyball: when did you do it
  99. [03/05/2012 9:14:38 PM] wilson the volleyball: and what made you do it
  100. [03/05/2012 9:16:58 PM] Queyntes: [temporary pause in conversation because ben is fapping to screwdrivers]
  101. [03/05/2012 9:17:30 PM] Mr. T: I did it a while back.
  102. [03/05/2012 9:17:41 PM] Mr. T: I don't know what made me do it.
  103. [03/05/2012 9:17:49 PM] Queyntes: did you like it?
  104. [03/05/2012 9:17:52 PM] wilson the volleyball: did you just see the toilet plunger and go 'i think i shall shove this into my anus.'
  105. [03/05/2012 9:18:10 PM] Mr. T: Naw. It was nothing like that.
  106. [03/05/2012 9:18:34 PM] Mr. T: Well, Q, I only did it once. I don't think I enjoyed it.
  107. [03/05/2012 9:18:46 PM] wilson the volleyball: you don't think?
  108. [03/05/2012 9:18:55 PM] Mr. T: I didn't enjoy it.
  109. [03/05/2012 9:18:58 PM] Gamma Orionis: That's because toilet plungers are big and unweildly. Screwdrivers are much more convenient.
  110. [03/05/2012 9:20:03 PM] wilson the volleyball: i heard about some guy who decided to fuck himself on an upright broomstick by doing pullups on his shower curtain bar, and the bar broke off and the broomstick came out his mouth, but he actually survived long enough to drive over to the hospital with it still impaled through him before he died. that's pretty cool.
  111. [03/05/2012 9:20:45 PM] Gamma Orionis: Oh, I knew a guy who did that. Only he used a more stable bar, so he didn't get impaled.
  112. [03/05/2012 9:21:00 PM] Queyntes: well only in the pleasant way
  113. [03/05/2012 9:21:01 PM] wilson the volleyball: awww, what fun is that
  114. [03/05/2012 9:21:30 PM] Queyntes: so ben, how was the screwdriver?
  115. [03/05/2012 9:22:13 PM] Mr. T: Well, it's not something I want to do every day.
  116. [03/05/2012 9:22:24 PM] Queyntes: but did you like it?
  117. [03/05/2012 9:22:47 PM] Mr. T: A little. But that's it.
  118. [03/05/2012 9:22:58 PM] Gamma Orionis: How long did you do it for?
  119. [03/05/2012 9:23:04 PM] Queyntes: you have to move it around, too
  120. [03/05/2012 9:23:16 PM] wilson the volleyball: did you fap
  121. [03/05/2012 9:23:19 PM] wilson the volleyball: you have to fap while you do it
  122. [03/05/2012 9:23:24 PM] Mr. T: I did it for about a minute, maybe two. And no. I didn't fap.
  123. [03/05/2012 9:23:28 PM] wilson the volleyball: wtf
  124. [03/05/2012 9:23:33 PM] wilson the volleyball: you just shoved it up your ass and moved it around?
  125. [03/05/2012 9:23:36 PM] Gamma Orionis: Well, no wonder you didn't like it more.
  126. [03/05/2012 9:23:43 PM] wilson the volleyball: bo-ring.
  127. [03/05/2012 9:23:59 PM] Mr. T: Well I'm not as wild as you three obviously are.
  128. [03/05/2012 9:24:08 PM] Gamma Orionis: Screwdrivers aren't that wild.
  129. [03/05/2012 9:24:23 PM] wilson the volleyball: yeah it's kind of normal in sexual relationships to have a screwdriver on hand.
  130. [03/05/2012 9:26:07 PM] Mr. T: Well I'm sorry if I don't know these things. I've never been in a sexual relationship before.
  131. [03/05/2012 9:26:14 PM] wilson the volleyball: ben it's like instrinctual
  132. [03/05/2012 9:26:22 PM] wilson the volleyball: *instinctual
  133. [03/05/2012 9:26:29 PM] Mr. T: Really?
  134. [03/05/2012 9:26:34 PM] wilson the volleyball: yes
  135. [03/05/2012 9:26:44 PM] wilson the volleyball: you automatically know what should go in asses and what should not
  136. [03/05/2012 9:26:53 PM] wilson the volleyball: screwdrivers are one of the thoughts that should
  137. [03/05/2012 9:26:58 PM] wilson the volleyball: *things
  138. [03/05/2012 9:26:58 PM] wilson the volleyball: wtf i can't type today
  139. [03/05/2012 9:27:26 PM] Mr. T: Obviously.
  140. [03/05/2012 9:27:40 PM] Mr. T: What shouldn't go in asses?
  141. [03/05/2012 9:27:46 PM] wilson the volleyball: toilet plungers
  142. [03/05/2012 9:27:49 PM] Gamma Orionis: Steak knives.
  143. [03/05/2012 9:28:00 PM] Gamma Orionis: At least, blade-first steak knives.
  144. [03/05/2012 9:28:13 PM] wilson the volleyball: rotten meat covered with maggots
  145. [03/05/2012 9:28:19 PM] Queyntes: that's for vaginas
  146. [03/05/2012 9:28:27 PM] wilson the volleyball: oh right
  147. [03/05/2012 9:29:21 PM] wilson the volleyball: you could just put your fingers in your ass ben, one by one. and eventually if you do it for long enough you could put your whole hand in and touch your prostate and that would feel really good
  148. [03/05/2012 9:30:35 PM] Mr. T: No thank you.
  149. [03/05/2012 9:30:40 PM] Gamma Orionis: Why not?
  150. [03/05/2012 9:30:42 PM] wilson the volleyball: gamma does it all the time
  151. [03/05/2012 9:30:45 PM] wilson the volleyball: for fun
  152. [03/05/2012 9:30:46 PM] wilson the volleyball: and profit
  153. [03/05/2012 9:30:53 PM] Gamma Orionis: Except with her vagina
  154. [03/05/2012 9:30:53 PM] Mr. T: Well I'm not Gamma.
  155. [03/05/2012 9:30:53 PM] Queyntes: gamma doesn't have a prostate
  156. [03/05/2012 9:31:00 PM] wilson the volleyball: in the vagina fool, you know what i mean
  157. [03/05/2012 9:31:12 PM] wilson the volleyball: ben why are you so bland and unadventurous
  158. [03/05/2012 9:31:51 PM] Mr. T: Because I just am not that way.
  159. [03/05/2012 9:32:00 PM] Gamma Orionis: You're asexual?
  160. [03/05/2012 9:32:03 PM] Queyntes: spice up your life, ben
  161. [03/05/2012 9:32:14 PM] Mr. T: Hell no I'm not asexual.
  162. [03/05/2012 9:32:18 PM] wilson the volleyball: girls don't like boring dudes who never do anything interesting ben.
  163. [03/05/2012 9:32:24 PM] Mr. T: How do I spice up my life, Q?
  164. [03/05/2012 9:32:27 PM] Gamma Orionis: Then what do you mean "I just am not that way"?
  165. [03/05/2012 9:32:35 PM] Gamma Orionis: By touching your prostate.
  166. [03/05/2012 9:32:38 PM] Mr. T: I'm not that adventurus.
  167. [03/05/2012 9:32:46 PM] Gamma Orionis: It's not that adventurous!
  168. [03/05/2012 9:32:51 PM] Queyntes: work your way up to it, if you want
  169. [03/05/2012 9:33:01 PM] Queyntes: start small
  170. [03/05/2012 9:33:13 PM] Queyntes: put one screwdriver, then another in
  171. [03/05/2012 9:33:23 PM] Queyntes: take pictures and send them to girls
  172. [03/05/2012 9:33:27 PM] Queyntes: seriously they love that shit
  173. [03/05/2012 9:33:44 PM] Mr. T: I'm not going to send that shit to anyone if I did that.
  174. [03/05/2012 9:33:54 PM] Queyntes: *shrugs* your loss
  175. [03/05/2012 9:33:54 PM] Gamma Orionis: Why not?
  176. [03/05/2012 9:33:59 PM] Gamma Orionis: Post it on the internet. I do it all the time.
  177. [03/05/2012 9:34:04 PM] Mr. T: It's sorta personal.
  178. [03/05/2012 9:34:08 PM] Gamma Orionis: Um
  179. [03/05/2012 9:34:10 PM] Gamma Orionis: no.
  180. [03/05/2012 9:34:15 PM] Mr. T: To me it is.
  181. [03/05/2012 9:34:26 PM] Gamma Orionis: Don't try to argue "It's personal" to a girl who does it publically for a living.
  182. [03/05/2012 9:34:36 PM] Queyntes: they don't have to see your face, if that's what you're concerned about
  183. [03/05/2012 9:34:39 PM] Mr. T: Fair enough. I can't really argue there.
  184. [03/05/2012 9:35:00 PM] Mr. T: But I'm not going to do it.
  185. [03/05/2012 9:35:09 PM] Queyntes: awww, why?
  186. [03/05/2012 9:35:21 PM] Mr. T: I don't want to. That's why.
  187. [03/05/2012 9:36:08 PM] wilson the volleyball: i make amateur porn of myself all the time and i get laid almost nonstop.
  188. [03/05/2012 9:36:15 PM] wilson the volleyball: it works man
  189. [03/05/2012 9:36:23 PM] Mr. T: Whatever.
  190. [03/05/2012 9:37:06 PM] Gamma Orionis: Don't you want to get laid?
  191. [03/05/2012 9:37:18 PM] Queyntes: not before marriage, gamma
  192. [03/05/2012 9:37:21 PM] wilson the volleyball: do you want to be a virgin forever?
  193. [03/05/2012 9:37:24 PM] wilson the volleyball: FOREVER, BEN
  194. [03/05/2012 9:37:29 PM] wilson the volleyball: FOREVER!!!!!!!!!
  195. [03/05/2012 9:37:29 PM] Queyntes: silly don't you people listen to him
  196. [03/05/2012 9:39:08 PM] Mr. T: Uhhuh.
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