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- [03/05/2012 8:52:06 PM] Queyntes: yes ben, try putting screwdrivers up your butt
- [03/05/2012 8:52:35 PM] Mr. T: Why?
- [03/05/2012 8:52:41 PM] Gamma Orionis: So that you can know what it feels like.
- [03/05/2012 8:53:12 PM] Mr. T: What kinda screwdriver? Flat-head or Phillips-Head?
- [03/05/2012 8:53:18 PM] Queyntes: philips
- [03/05/2012 8:53:22 PM] Gamma Orionis: It doesn't matter, you stick the rounded end in first.
- [03/05/2012 8:53:41 PM] Queyntes: he's new at this though, so he should start with the head
- [03/05/2012 8:53:57 PM] Gamma Orionis: But you can't feel the head :(
- [03/05/2012 8:54:32 PM] Queyntes: xD you should try it ben
- [03/05/2012 8:54:36 PM] Queyntes: get a screwdriver
- [03/05/2012 8:54:47 PM] Mr. T: Give me one good reason.
- [03/05/2012 8:54:47 PM] Gamma Orionis: You'll enjoy it.
- [03/05/2012 8:55:20 PM] Queyntes: ^ porn star talking. she knows what's good, bennie [03/05/2012 8:56:09 PM] Mr. T: I'm probably not going to do it.
- [03/05/2012 8:56:15 PM] Gamma Orionis: Why not?
- [03/05/2012 8:56:31 PM] Mr. T: Maybe I don't want to shove a screwdriver up my ass.
- [03/05/2012 8:56:35 PM] Gamma Orionis: Why not?
- [03/05/2012 8:56:43 PM] Queyntes: you'd like it
- [03/05/2012 8:56:53 PM] Mr. T: It doesn't seem like I'd enjoy it that much.
- [03/05/2012 8:57:01 PM] Queyntes: but how would you know? xDD
- [03/05/2012 8:57:04 PM] Queyntes: gamma knows
- [03/05/2012 8:57:07 PM] Gamma Orionis: Why wouldn't you enjoy it?
- [03/05/2012 8:57:20 PM] wilson the volleyball: oh my god
- [03/05/2012 8:57:23 PM] wilson the volleyball: let me count the ways
- [03/05/2012 8:57:23 PM] Gamma Orionis: You should enjoy it MORE than me.
- [03/05/2012 8:57:32 PM] Gamma Orionis: You have a prostate.
- [03/05/2012 8:57:42 PM] Gamma Orionis: Shut up Wilson, you don't know anything.
- [03/05/2012 8:57:53 PM] wilson the volleyball: i wasn't talking to you
- [03/05/2012 8:57:59 PM] Gamma Orionis: Oh, then never mind.
- [03/05/2012 8:58:03 PM] wilson the volleyball: i was saying how much i love you and quey
- [03/05/2012 8:58:11 PM] Queyntes: especially me, because i'm sexier
- [03/05/2012 8:58:16 PM] wilson the volleyball: yes
- [03/05/2012 8:58:19 PM] wilson the volleyball: forever
- [03/05/2012 8:58:41 PM] Gamma Orionis: Now answer, Ben.
- [03/05/2012 8:59:13 PM] Mr. T: Will I shove a screwdriver up my ass? Maybe.
- [03/05/2012 8:59:30 PM] Gamma Orionis: No, my question was why you don't think you would enjoy it.
- [03/05/2012 9:00:03 PM] Mr. T: Well, I'm not sure I enjoy shoving things up my ass because I think it would hurt. A lot.
- [03/05/2012 9:00:10 PM] wilson the volleyball: only at first
- [03/05/2012 9:00:34 PM] Gamma Orionis: Not if you stretch it out with your fingers a bit and use lube.
- [03/05/2012 9:01:08 PM] Mr. T: I'm sorry if I'm not replying at first. The Chat Thread is coming back to life.
- [03/05/2012 9:01:26 PM] Mr. T: I might do it.
- [03/05/2012 9:01:54 PM] Gamma Orionis: You're missing the point of my question.
- [03/05/2012 9:02:10 PM] Mr. T: I guess I'm nervous. That's all.
- [03/05/2012 9:02:21 PM] Gamma Orionis: You shouldn't be.
- [03/05/2012 9:02:29 PM] Mr. T: Why not?
- [03/05/2012 9:02:38 PM] Gamma Orionis: Because it's just a screwdriver.
- [03/05/2012 9:02:45 PM] wilson the volleyball: yeah it's not like
- [03/05/2012 9:02:47 PM] wilson the volleyball: a baseball bat
- [03/05/2012 9:02:50 PM] wilson the volleyball: or a human fist
- [03/05/2012 9:02:54 PM] wilson the volleyball: or a python
- [03/05/2012 9:03:00 PM] Gamma Orionis: or a disease-ridden penis.
- [03/05/2012 9:03:02 PM] wilson the volleyball: all of which i have seen in pornography
- [03/05/2012 9:03:18 PM] Mr. T: I'll think about it.
- [03/05/2012 9:03:54 PM] Gamma Orionis: You don't THINK about this kind of thing.
- [03/05/2012 9:03:57 PM] Gamma Orionis: You just do it.
- [03/05/2012 9:04:00 PM] Gamma Orionis: Go get a screwdriver.
- [03/05/2012 9:04:20 PM] Mr. T: And shove it up my ass?
- [03/05/2012 9:04:27 PM] Gamma Orionis: NO, AND EAT IT.
- [03/05/2012 9:04:35 PM] Gamma Orionis: WHAT HAVE WE BEEN TALKING ABOUT FOR THE LAST TWENTY MINUTES?
- [03/05/2012 9:04:43 PM] Mr. T: Alright. I'll go do it.
- [03/05/2012 9:04:50 PM] Gamma Orionis: Good for you!
- [03/05/2012 9:04:59 PM] Queyntes: yay! you'll love it ben :3
- [03/05/2012 9:05:00 PM] Mr. T: BRB
- [03/05/2012 9:06:33 PM] Mr. T: btw, my cat says hi
- [03/05/2012 9:06:46 PM] wilson the volleyball: HI KITTY
- [03/05/2012 9:06:50 PM] Queyntes: the amazing underwear licking speaking cat
- [03/05/2012 9:06:51 PM] wilson the volleyball: MEOW MEOW HURP DURP
- [03/05/2012 9:07:00 PM] wilson the volleyball: i'm high
- [03/05/2012 9:07:15 PM] Mr. T: Really?
- [03/05/2012 9:07:27 PM] wilson the volleyball: just shove it
- [03/05/2012 9:08:06 PM] Mr. T: Got the screwdriver.
- [03/05/2012 9:08:14 PM] Gamma Orionis: Fantastic!
- [03/05/2012 9:08:19 PM] Gamma Orionis: Now take off your pants...
- [03/05/2012 9:08:27 PM] Mr. T: 1 sec
- [03/05/2012 9:09:34 PM] Mr. T: got it.
- [03/05/2012 9:09:59 PM] Queyntes: are you...?
- [03/05/2012 9:10:14 PM] Gamma Orionis: Have you ever put anything in your ass before?
- [03/05/2012 9:10:20 PM] Mr. T: Once.
- [03/05/2012 9:10:25 PM] Gamma Orionis: What?
- [03/05/2012 9:10:28 PM] wilson the volleyball: what was it
- [03/05/2012 9:10:37 PM] Mr. T: I'm not telling you two.
- [03/05/2012 9:10:42 PM] Gamma Orionis: Why not?
- [03/05/2012 9:10:45 PM] Gamma Orionis: Believe me, I've heard everything.
- [03/05/2012 9:10:47 PM] Queyntes: will you tell your bestie? =)
- [03/05/2012 9:10:53 PM] Mr. T: Alright.
- [03/05/2012 9:11:00 PM] Mr. T: It was a plunger. Excuse me.
- [03/05/2012 9:11:26 PM] Gamma Orionis: Like, for a toilet? That kind?
- [03/05/2012 9:13:10 PM] wilson the volleyball: wat
- [03/05/2012 9:13:14 PM] Mr. T: I'm back.
- [03/05/2012 9:13:23 PM] Gamma Orionis: A toilet plunger?
- [03/05/2012 9:13:32 PM] Mr. T: It was brand new and it was clean.
- [03/05/2012 9:13:39 PM] Queyntes: the handle, of course?
- [03/05/2012 9:13:50 PM] Mr. T: Yes.
- [03/05/2012 9:13:53 PM] Queyntes: why?
- [03/05/2012 9:14:04 PM] Gamma Orionis: The screwdriver will be NOTHING compared to that.
- [03/05/2012 9:14:08 PM] Mr. T: I don't know. I was curious, I guess.
- [03/05/2012 9:14:14 PM] Mr. T: And you're right. It wasn't.
- [03/05/2012 9:14:22 PM] Mr. T: brb
- [03/05/2012 9:14:29 PM] wilson the volleyball: when did you do it
- [03/05/2012 9:14:38 PM] wilson the volleyball: and what made you do it
- [03/05/2012 9:16:58 PM] Queyntes: [temporary pause in conversation because ben is fapping to screwdrivers]
- [03/05/2012 9:17:30 PM] Mr. T: I did it a while back.
- [03/05/2012 9:17:41 PM] Mr. T: I don't know what made me do it.
- [03/05/2012 9:17:49 PM] Queyntes: did you like it?
- [03/05/2012 9:17:52 PM] wilson the volleyball: did you just see the toilet plunger and go 'i think i shall shove this into my anus.'
- [03/05/2012 9:18:10 PM] Mr. T: Naw. It was nothing like that.
- [03/05/2012 9:18:34 PM] Mr. T: Well, Q, I only did it once. I don't think I enjoyed it.
- [03/05/2012 9:18:46 PM] wilson the volleyball: you don't think?
- [03/05/2012 9:18:55 PM] Mr. T: I didn't enjoy it.
- [03/05/2012 9:18:58 PM] Gamma Orionis: That's because toilet plungers are big and unweildly. Screwdrivers are much more convenient.
- [03/05/2012 9:20:03 PM] wilson the volleyball: i heard about some guy who decided to fuck himself on an upright broomstick by doing pullups on his shower curtain bar, and the bar broke off and the broomstick came out his mouth, but he actually survived long enough to drive over to the hospital with it still impaled through him before he died. that's pretty cool.
- [03/05/2012 9:20:45 PM] Gamma Orionis: Oh, I knew a guy who did that. Only he used a more stable bar, so he didn't get impaled.
- [03/05/2012 9:21:00 PM] Queyntes: well only in the pleasant way
- [03/05/2012 9:21:01 PM] wilson the volleyball: awww, what fun is that
- [03/05/2012 9:21:30 PM] Queyntes: so ben, how was the screwdriver?
- [03/05/2012 9:22:13 PM] Mr. T: Well, it's not something I want to do every day.
- [03/05/2012 9:22:24 PM] Queyntes: but did you like it?
- [03/05/2012 9:22:47 PM] Mr. T: A little. But that's it.
- [03/05/2012 9:22:58 PM] Gamma Orionis: How long did you do it for?
- [03/05/2012 9:23:04 PM] Queyntes: you have to move it around, too
- [03/05/2012 9:23:16 PM] wilson the volleyball: did you fap
- [03/05/2012 9:23:19 PM] wilson the volleyball: you have to fap while you do it
- [03/05/2012 9:23:24 PM] Mr. T: I did it for about a minute, maybe two. And no. I didn't fap.
- [03/05/2012 9:23:28 PM] wilson the volleyball: wtf
- [03/05/2012 9:23:33 PM] wilson the volleyball: you just shoved it up your ass and moved it around?
- [03/05/2012 9:23:36 PM] Gamma Orionis: Well, no wonder you didn't like it more.
- [03/05/2012 9:23:43 PM] wilson the volleyball: bo-ring.
- [03/05/2012 9:23:59 PM] Mr. T: Well I'm not as wild as you three obviously are.
- [03/05/2012 9:24:08 PM] Gamma Orionis: Screwdrivers aren't that wild.
- [03/05/2012 9:24:23 PM] wilson the volleyball: yeah it's kind of normal in sexual relationships to have a screwdriver on hand.
- [03/05/2012 9:26:07 PM] Mr. T: Well I'm sorry if I don't know these things. I've never been in a sexual relationship before.
- [03/05/2012 9:26:14 PM] wilson the volleyball: ben it's like instrinctual
- [03/05/2012 9:26:22 PM] wilson the volleyball: *instinctual
- [03/05/2012 9:26:29 PM] Mr. T: Really?
- [03/05/2012 9:26:34 PM] wilson the volleyball: yes
- [03/05/2012 9:26:44 PM] wilson the volleyball: you automatically know what should go in asses and what should not
- [03/05/2012 9:26:53 PM] wilson the volleyball: screwdrivers are one of the thoughts that should
- [03/05/2012 9:26:58 PM] wilson the volleyball: *things
- [03/05/2012 9:26:58 PM] wilson the volleyball: wtf i can't type today
- [03/05/2012 9:27:26 PM] Mr. T: Obviously.
- [03/05/2012 9:27:40 PM] Mr. T: What shouldn't go in asses?
- [03/05/2012 9:27:46 PM] wilson the volleyball: toilet plungers
- [03/05/2012 9:27:49 PM] Gamma Orionis: Steak knives.
- [03/05/2012 9:28:00 PM] Gamma Orionis: At least, blade-first steak knives.
- [03/05/2012 9:28:13 PM] wilson the volleyball: rotten meat covered with maggots
- [03/05/2012 9:28:19 PM] Queyntes: that's for vaginas
- [03/05/2012 9:28:27 PM] wilson the volleyball: oh right
- [03/05/2012 9:29:21 PM] wilson the volleyball: you could just put your fingers in your ass ben, one by one. and eventually if you do it for long enough you could put your whole hand in and touch your prostate and that would feel really good
- [03/05/2012 9:30:35 PM] Mr. T: No thank you.
- [03/05/2012 9:30:40 PM] Gamma Orionis: Why not?
- [03/05/2012 9:30:42 PM] wilson the volleyball: gamma does it all the time
- [03/05/2012 9:30:45 PM] wilson the volleyball: for fun
- [03/05/2012 9:30:46 PM] wilson the volleyball: and profit
- [03/05/2012 9:30:53 PM] Gamma Orionis: Except with her vagina
- [03/05/2012 9:30:53 PM] Mr. T: Well I'm not Gamma.
- [03/05/2012 9:30:53 PM] Queyntes: gamma doesn't have a prostate
- [03/05/2012 9:31:00 PM] wilson the volleyball: in the vagina fool, you know what i mean
- [03/05/2012 9:31:12 PM] wilson the volleyball: ben why are you so bland and unadventurous
- [03/05/2012 9:31:51 PM] Mr. T: Because I just am not that way.
- [03/05/2012 9:32:00 PM] Gamma Orionis: You're asexual?
- [03/05/2012 9:32:03 PM] Queyntes: spice up your life, ben
- [03/05/2012 9:32:14 PM] Mr. T: Hell no I'm not asexual.
- [03/05/2012 9:32:18 PM] wilson the volleyball: girls don't like boring dudes who never do anything interesting ben.
- [03/05/2012 9:32:24 PM] Mr. T: How do I spice up my life, Q?
- [03/05/2012 9:32:27 PM] Gamma Orionis: Then what do you mean "I just am not that way"?
- [03/05/2012 9:32:35 PM] Gamma Orionis: By touching your prostate.
- [03/05/2012 9:32:38 PM] Mr. T: I'm not that adventurus.
- [03/05/2012 9:32:46 PM] Gamma Orionis: It's not that adventurous!
- [03/05/2012 9:32:51 PM] Queyntes: work your way up to it, if you want
- [03/05/2012 9:33:01 PM] Queyntes: start small
- [03/05/2012 9:33:13 PM] Queyntes: put one screwdriver, then another in
- [03/05/2012 9:33:23 PM] Queyntes: take pictures and send them to girls
- [03/05/2012 9:33:27 PM] Queyntes: seriously they love that shit
- [03/05/2012 9:33:44 PM] Mr. T: I'm not going to send that shit to anyone if I did that.
- [03/05/2012 9:33:54 PM] Queyntes: *shrugs* your loss
- [03/05/2012 9:33:54 PM] Gamma Orionis: Why not?
- [03/05/2012 9:33:59 PM] Gamma Orionis: Post it on the internet. I do it all the time.
- [03/05/2012 9:34:04 PM] Mr. T: It's sorta personal.
- [03/05/2012 9:34:08 PM] Gamma Orionis: Um
- [03/05/2012 9:34:10 PM] Gamma Orionis: no.
- [03/05/2012 9:34:15 PM] Mr. T: To me it is.
- [03/05/2012 9:34:26 PM] Gamma Orionis: Don't try to argue "It's personal" to a girl who does it publically for a living.
- [03/05/2012 9:34:36 PM] Queyntes: they don't have to see your face, if that's what you're concerned about
- [03/05/2012 9:34:39 PM] Mr. T: Fair enough. I can't really argue there.
- [03/05/2012 9:35:00 PM] Mr. T: But I'm not going to do it.
- [03/05/2012 9:35:09 PM] Queyntes: awww, why?
- [03/05/2012 9:35:21 PM] Mr. T: I don't want to. That's why.
- [03/05/2012 9:36:08 PM] wilson the volleyball: i make amateur porn of myself all the time and i get laid almost nonstop.
- [03/05/2012 9:36:15 PM] wilson the volleyball: it works man
- [03/05/2012 9:36:23 PM] Mr. T: Whatever.
- [03/05/2012 9:37:06 PM] Gamma Orionis: Don't you want to get laid?
- [03/05/2012 9:37:18 PM] Queyntes: not before marriage, gamma
- [03/05/2012 9:37:21 PM] wilson the volleyball: do you want to be a virgin forever?
- [03/05/2012 9:37:24 PM] wilson the volleyball: FOREVER, BEN
- [03/05/2012 9:37:29 PM] wilson the volleyball: FOREVER!!!!!!!!!
- [03/05/2012 9:37:29 PM] Queyntes: silly don't you people listen to him
- [03/05/2012 9:39:08 PM] Mr. T: Uhhuh.
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