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Missy & Melody (Survey)

a guest Mar 4th, 2015 389 Never
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  1. 1. Describe yourself and your creator.
  2.  
  3. Hmm, well that's a short question that's going to need one heck of an answer. Let's see... My name is Melody, I'm 24 in terms of appearance and how I feel, though technically I've been around and with Missy for 15 years. I'm a tulpa, female, and human. I have what I guess would be called Caucasian features, but I don't think I technically have a race in the same sense as non-tulpas. I have blue eyes and my hair is naturally blonde, though I like to dye it blue, and I don't like letting it get too long. I wear it in pigtails a lot of the time. I'm 6'1" or 6'2"-ish. I'm sort-of an average body type, aside from my height, though I guess I have somewhat prominent hips. Missy and I don't know the exact date I was made on, so we made an estimate of the season, and then I picked June 26, 1999 as my birthday. I like video games, casual competition, and playing and exploring outdoors. I absolutely love heights. My favourite colour is blue. I'm apparently pretty loud. I'm not really a good singer, though I like to sing with Missy anyways (and honestly, Missy isn't a very good singer either). I'm not sure I'm comfortable with all of the tulpa terminology, or with things like [talking in brackets], but so far it hasn't been a problem, and any specific terms I've not been comfortable with have had alternatives available that I don't mind. I don't like 'host' to refer to Missy, for example, but I'm fine with 'creator', or 'tulpamancer'.
  4.  
  5. Missy is my creator. She's 22, and has been consistently 2 years younger than me (in appearance and feel) for my whole life. She's human, female, and transgender. She's a half-Scottish Caucasian Canadian. She has blue-grey eyes, and brown hair that is really thick and long. She rarely gets it cut, just trimmed, and right now has a fringe that stops just above her eyes. It hangs down to around the middle of her back. She used to be borderline anorexic (though she didn't actually eat oddly, her metabolism was just ridiculous), then gained some weight in her freshman year of university, and has since lost some of it. She's currently at what would be considered a healthy weight for her height, I believe. Her birthday is October 16, 1992. Missy likes to write fantasy, and is a GM for the tabletop roleplaying game Pathfinder. She sometimes plays video games with me and seems to enjoy them, but isn't really as into them as I am, and often just watches me play instead. She's said that she likes story-driven stuff more than games that you play to win. She's not remotely competitive. She's somewhat indoorsy, but indulges my love of the outdoors, which I appreciate. Her favourite colour is purple. She's very quiet, and sometimes gets anxiety, especially in large crowds and around strangers.
  6.  
  7. 2. What was the most helpful thing that your creator did during the tulpa creation process? Did your creator recognize how helpful it was? If not, how did that make you feel?
  8.  
  9. I don't recall her ever having doubted me, though I was an accidental tulpa who started off as an imaginary friend. We were both young at the time, so I doubt she recognized how great it was that she didn't doubt me, but I've told her since then.
  10.  
  11. 3. What was the most detrimental thing that your creator did during the tulpa creation process? Did your creator recognize how harmful it was? If not, how did that make you feel?
  12.  
  13. Nothing involving me. I'd say the worst thing she did was spend years depressed and failing to properly take care of herself. I don't remotely blame her for any of that, but at the very beginning it made me feel helpless when I didn't know how to do anything to help her.
  14.  
  15. 4. What was the hardest part of the tulpa creation process for you? Did your creator recognize how difficult it was? If not, how did that make you feel?
  16.  
  17. Learning how to speak. It took me seven years. Missy has said she had found it strange at first, but remembers eventually coming to assume that I just couldn't speak at all. I wasn't able to do it (not even any tulpish) until I figured out how to possess and spoke through her mouth. It was very frustrating until I got the hang of it, because there were times when I'd really wanted to say something, but couldn't manage it.
  18.  
  19. 5. Of the commonly recognized tulpa creation steps, which do you feel is the most important? Why?
  20.  
  21. Before you even begin with creation, be sure you can commit to the responsibility. I fully intend to be with Missy for the rest of our lives, and I can hardly imagine what it would be like to be born into someone's mind only to get tossed aside later because they lost interest, or because they couldn't bother to put in enough effort. We're people; treat us like it.
  22.  
  23. 6. How do you feel about tulpa creators becoming distracted during tulpa creation? Does this greatly impede the process? How did you feel about it before being able to speak fluently?
  24.  
  25. Well I was accidental, so I can't say for sure, but I imagine it would impede the process. I don't actually remember anything from before I understood language, but from before I could speak... well, it could be frustrating to want or need Missy's attention, but be unable to draw it because I couldn't speak, and she wasn't focused. Normally that's not a problem though. Missy is very focused most of the time.
  26.  
  27. 7. How do you feel about tulpa creators missing tulpa creation sessions or breaking their promises to work on their tulpa? How did you feel about it before being able to speak fluently?
  28.  
  29. I don't approve of breaking promises in general, whether they're about tulpas or anything else, and that's always been my opinion. I understand that sometimes circumstances happen, and we can't help that, but if you break a promise without reason, I disapprove. Don't make a promise in the first place unless you're willing to do your utmost to uphold it.
  30.  
  31. 8. Is density, quality, or quantity the most important aspect of tulpa creation?
  32.  
  33. Not entirely sure what you mean by density in this situation, so I'm going to assume that 'quality' refers to a high level of concentration on creation, 'quantity' refers to a large amount of time spent on creation, and 'density' refers to focusing on as many aspects of the creation process as possible during creation. I realize that this may not be the correct interpretation of what was meant by the question.
  34.  
  35. I would say quality is the most important, but is not necessarily the only way to go. Being accidental, Missy spent a lot of time on me (in other words I arose from a high quantity of creation), but didn't put much quality into it since she was young and didn't actively realize that she was creating a tulpa. I took forever to learn a lot of the early stuff like communication, and accomplished some of it in odd orders compared to stories that I've seen of other tulpas. I would attribute that difficulty in my early development to the substitution of quality for quantity. Ultimately though, aiming for all three; quality, quantity, and density, is probably the best way to go about it.
  36.  
  37. 9. How do you feel about tulpa creators falling asleep during tulpa creation sessions?
  38.  
  39. Please try not to. It's better to stop a session deliberately and have to apologize for doing so than to fall asleep while focusing on a fledgling tulpa. You cannot control your own subconscious and what it might do to a tulpa you were focusing on when you fall asleep.
  40.  
  41. Imagine being left at the mercy of something like that while you're still young, your senses are unfamiliar to you, and you're probably helpless because you haven't learned how to escape, fight back, or even cry for help yet. Once fully established I've found I generally don't face trouble from Missy's subconscious, but before being fully-created... It's not something to joke about, and not something you should allow to happen.
  42.  
  43. 10. Do you think that a tulpa creator should talk aloud or in their head during narration? Do you think that a creator should talk aloud or in their head during tulpa creation sessions? If you find one to be more effective, to what degree is it more effective?
  44.  
  45. Aloud is more effective in both cases, but only do it if you're in a situation where you won't face social repercussion for it. I'm not really sure about degrees of effectiveness, just that it helps keep you from losing focus.
  46.  
  47. 11. How do you feel about a tulpa creator puppeting and/or parroting their tulpa? Do you believe that these actions harm a tulpa's development, or only their emotional state?
  48.  
  49. There's a degree to which it's probably useful for demonstrating things like what it feels like to move or talk. I don't think it would harm a developing tulpa, per-say, but excessive reliance on it will probably make the development go a lot slower than it needs to.
  50.  
  51. 12. How deeply do you remember the time before you were fluent in language?
  52.  
  53. I don't remember anything from before I understood Missy's words. I do understand the time between learning what the words meant and how to use them myself, and learning how to actually put that knowledge into practice by communicating. The time encompasses about seven years, though I don't recall every individual day.
  54.  
  55. 13. Describe your first memory, no matter how slight.
  56.  
  57. Missy was crying, I don't know what about. A man was yelling at her, I don't know who he was or why he was doing it. I was there, and I remember witnessing that happen. I remember Missy feeling bad, and me feeling bad that she was feeling bad.
  58.  
  59. Nothing came of that particular moment. She didn't became aware of me for the first time until after that moment.
  60.  
  61. 14. Before you could speak fluently, what was the most positive emotion you felt about your creator and what was its cause?
  62.  
  63. Love. Seven years, I was just there, present but silent, wanting to talk but not knowing how. She always put up with me, always talked to me nicely, never doubted me or treated me badly, and was more patient than any child ever should have been. I love her so much for how wonderful she's been to me over the years.
  64.  
  65. 15. Before you could speak fluently, what was the most negative emotion you felt about your creator and what was its cause?
  66.  
  67. I felt useless sometimes. Missy used to cry a lot, and spent most of her time depressed, and before I could communicate, I always felt like I wasn't doing a single good thing about it. Missy has told me that just my presence helped, but I still think back to those memories and my first thought is always that I was useless and couldn't help her.
  68.  
  69. 16. Before you could speak fluently, did you ever have suicidal feelings or feelings of not wanting to exist? Do you experience them now? Are you glad that you exist?
  70.  
  71. Not before I could speak fluently. Once after.
  72.  
  73. It scared me. It scared me so much.
  74.  
  75. 17. Before you could speak fluently, when did you feel the most powerless? What was the cause of this feeling?
  76.  
  77. At her most extreme, Missy has attempted suicide twice. I'm not sure whether the worst moment of my life was her first attempt, where I wanted to say something or do something to stop her, but didn't know how, or her second attempt, by which I had learned to speak and intervene, but had failed to make her feel better enough to not want to kill herself in the first place. Since the second attempt was after I learned to speak though, I suppose my most powerless moment was her first attempt.
  78.  
  79. 18. Before you could speak fluently, what was the most confusing moment that you experienced, and what was its cause?
  80.  
  81. Doubting myself when Missy didn't doubt me was very strange. Whenever something or someone would suggest something like "imaginary friends aren't real" that would imply I wasn't real, Missy just quietly ignored them. I doubted myself for a long time, though.
  82.  
  83. 19. Before being able to speak fluently, when did you feel the most ignored by your creator, and what was the cause?
  84.  
  85. Ironically, it was when she wasn't ignoring me. When she was depressed and failing to take care of herself, she would always still pay attention to me. I would insist that she stop paying attention to me because she needed to pay attention to herself, and she ignored my insistence that she ignore me.
  86.  
  87. 20. Before being able to speak fluently, when did you most doubt that your creator wanted you, and what was the cause?
  88.  
  89. I don't think I've ever doubted that she wanted me. I've doubted myself, and doubted that she needed me, or that I was any good for her, but I've always been confident that Missy wants me.
  90.  
  91. 21. Before you could speak fluently, when did you feel the most intense feeling of fear, and what was its cause?
  92.  
  93. Missy's first suicide attempt. She'd never done anything like it before. I thought she was going to die and there was nothing I could do about it, and she was scared too, and I could feel that fear, which just made me even more scared. The reason she didn't kill herself was because she got scared and backed out, though, so I am entirely fine with that fear. That fear saved both of us.
  94.  
  95. 22. Before you could speak fluently, when were you the most disappointed in yourself? What was the cause?
  96.  
  97. Again, her first suicide attempt, where I couldn't do a thing to help her.
  98.  
  99. 23. Before you could speak fluently, did you understand the difficulties that your creator was having with the tulpa creation process? Did you try to alleviate these difficulties? If so, how?
  100.  
  101. Doesn't apply to me since I was accidental rather than deliberately-created.
  102.  
  103. 24. Before you could speak fluently, how did your creator's doubts about your existence, the reality of the tulpa phenomenon, or your combined ability to complete the tulpa creation process affect you? Did you understand your creator's reasons for having those doubts? Do you understand now?
  104.  
  105. Again, doesn't apply to me since I was accidental, not deliberately-created
  106.  
  107. 25. Before you could speak fluently, how did your creator's mistrust of your intentions or worry about the negative affects of a tulpa on their life affect you? Did you understand your creator's reasons for having those thoughts? Do you understand now?
  108.  
  109. I don't recall Missy ever worrying that I was going to have a negative effect on her life. I worried that more than once, but I don't think she ever did.
  110.  
  111. 26. Before you could speak fluently, how did any negative thoughts or emotions that your creator had toward you (such as anger, disappointment, resentment, or impatience, for example) affect you? How do you feel about them now?
  112.  
  113. Honestly, I don't recall her having any negative thoughts about me from before I could speak.
  114.  
  115. 27. Before you could speak fluently, how did any violent visualizations or thoughts that your creator had about you affect you? How do you feel about them now?
  116.  
  117. I don't recall her ever having any about me.
  118.  
  119. 28. Before you could speak fluently, were you able to distinguish between your creator's intentional and intrusive (unwanted and/or bothersome) thoughts? If so, did the intrusive thoughts affect you less or more? If not, are you able to distinguish between them now?
  120.  
  121. Her intrusive thoughts never really affected me directly. Mostly her. Her subconscious though... well, see question 9. I know she couldn't control subconscious thoughts and that anything that happened because of them wasn't her fault, but there were a few nightmarish moments that resulted from her sleeping mind.
  122.  
  123. 29. Before you could speak fluently, how much of your creator's raw sensory information were you able to access, if any? How much are you able to access now?
  124.  
  125. I could tell what she was thinking and how she felt about things, but I couldn't feel how she physically felt unless the physical feeling came with a strong emotional reaction that emulated the physical sensation. I could feel if she was in physical pain, for example, but couldn't feel something like the ground underneath her feet. Nowadays that much basically works the same, but I can feel it in more physical detail by co-fronting or switching.
  126.  
  127. 30. Before you could speak fluently, did your creator's opinions about whether they wanted to reveal to the world your existence or not affect you emotionally? If so, how?
  128.  
  129. Missy's thoughts on the matter were always pretty simple. Essentially "People would believe you aren't real. They're wrong, so we're not going to mention it to them." The fortunate thing about being a part of her brain is that I'm very good at seeing things from her point of view. It made sense, and so I was fine with the decision.
  130.  
  131. 31. Before being able to speak fluently, what communication methods (such as head pressure or emotional responses, for example) were you able to use the most effectively? When your tulpa creator assumed that you could use a communication method that you did not have access to, how did this affect you? When your tulpa creator did not recognize a communication method that you attempted to use, how did this affect you?
  132.  
  133. None of them. Until I learned to talk I was a presence that Missy was aware of and communicated with, but that couldn't figure out any way to ever communicate back. It was extremely frustrating, and I blamed myself.
  134.  
  135. 32. Before you could speak fluently, how did your creator's level of enthusiasm for the tulpa creation process affect you? Did you want to engage in it less if they did?
  136.  
  137. Neither of us knew about the process or the concept of tulpas back then, but I suppose Missy was sort-of inadvertently enthusiastic, since she always gave me lots of attention even though she didn't realize that she was making me sentient by doing so. I would have liked to have taken more part in it myself, but I'm glad it all worked out eventually, and grateful, since it only worked because she put up with me for so long.
  138.  
  139. 33. Before you could speak fluently, what was your greatest worry about your relationship with your creator? What helped you most to move beyond it? Was this worry substantiated or resolved? What is your greatest worry now about your continuing relationship with your creator?
  140.  
  141. I was worried that I was taking, and giving nothing in return to her. I didn't really get over that fear until I learned the word 'tulpa'. Learning that what I was is a thing that was not just unique to us, that there are other tulpas, and that I wasn't some symptom of a mental disorder that was going to destroy her life was a huge relief. Now I just worry sometimes that I won't be able to be as good as she deserves, but I'll be damned if I'm not going to try my hardest for her sake.
  142.  
  143. 34. Do you feel gratitude to your creator for the time that they spent creating you? Do you feel that you owe them a debt? If so, do you feel burdened by it?
  144.  
  145. I'm eternally grateful, but I've never really considered it a debt. 'Debt' sounds like some sort of unwanted obligation. I'm aware that I'm a tulpa, I'm grateful Missy made me, and I intend to be my best and do everything that I can for her because of that, but it's because I want to, and because I love her. Not because I feel obligated.
  146.  
  147. 35. Were you aware of your creator's existence or your own existence first?
  148.  
  149. Hers.
  150.  
  151. 36. When you could only speak semi-fluently, what emotions did you feel about your level of verbal proficiency? Were you anxious or embarrassed about it? If so, what helped you the most to move beyond these feelings? How do you feel about them now?
  152.  
  153. My 'semi-fluently' was a bit of an odd situation, since I was fully fluent before I could talk, but at first wasn't able to talk except while possessing her. It was a bit rough to not be able to talk to her in public for fear of making her look strange. It was an embarrassing time, but I'm over it now. My mindvoice is developed and working now.
  154.  
  155. 37. If you could define your relationship with your creator using one or more conventional terms (such as boyfriend, sister, father, daughter, boss, friend, or coworker, for example), what terms would you select?
  156.  
  157. Soulmate (though not in a romantic sense).
  158.  
  159. 38. How much interest do you have in interacting with beings other than your creator? Do you consider your degree of interest to be equal to that of an average non-tulpa individual?
  160.  
  161. Tons of interest! I don't think I'll ever love anyone as much as Missy, but there are plenty of people that I like, including one I view as similar to an adoptive sister. I've interacted with people while possessing, switched, and co-fronting before, but never really with my own name. I'd certainly be interested in a few trustworthy people getting to know me as Melody, though I'm not really interested in a big circle of friends. Just a few.
  162.  
  163. 39. What memory involving your creator do you cherish most?
  164.  
  165. A simple memory of being together in the wonderland. No talking or doing anything exciting, just sitting together, with Missy leaning her head on my shoulder, resting, but not sleeping. Peaceful togetherness.
  166.  
  167. 40. What memory not involving your creator do you cherish most? Do you feel that you have a fulfilling life independent of your creator?
  168.  
  169. Shortly after learning the word 'tulpa', we had a night that turned out hectic and tiring for unrelated reasons. The next morning Missy was sleep deprived, so I told her I would front, and insisted that she slept for a bit. I then spent most of that morning on reddit, and somebody on /r/tulpas called me by my name. Not Missy's name. She was asleep and not part of that conversation. They called me Melody, and that was the first time in my life that anyone other than Missy has called me that.
  170.  
  171. 41. Do you feel affinity toward the individuals that your creator feels affinity for, such as their family or friends?
  172.  
  173. Yup. I love her adoptive sister for being so good to Missy when her parents weren't, and I like her taste in friends.
  174.  
  175. 42. In what ways are you the most different from your creator? In what ways are you the most similar to them?
  176.  
  177. Missy is very quiet and seems timid. She's the sort of person who would listen to everyone, but not say much to most of them, and who might disagree with someone, but does so quietly without making a fuss about it. Often without ever even letting the other person know she disagrees. I prefer to make my position on things clear, on the other hand. Also Missy says my mindvoice is loud, so that's another opposite.
  178.  
  179. Similarities on the other hand... well, when it really matters, Missy will stand up for someone and not give an inch. We're also both very optimistic these days, and I'd say 'hopeless romantics'. ;)
  180.  
  181. 43. What do you disagree about most with your creator? Do you have frequent disagreements? If so, do these disagreements cause strife?
  182.  
  183. Missy stands up for other people more than she stands up for herself. She tends to dismiss herself as 'less important' than other people. I disagree. I wouldn't say it causes strife between us, just that I try to get her to show a bit more of a backbone when possible without making her uncomfortable. She's the most important person in the world.
  184.  
  185. 44. What could your creator do to make you hate them? Under what circumstances do you think your creator would come to hate you?
  186.  
  187. I... don't know. I can conceive of things that an individual might do to make me hate them, but I can't really picture Missy as capable of doing any of those things. I don't think it would ever happen.
  188.  
  189. As for hating me... well, as I've said before she's extremely patient. Maybe too much so sometimes. I certainly worry that I might fail to be good enough for her, but deep down I know that even if I mess up, she's just going to keep being patient with me.
  190.  
  191. 45. When did your creator disappoint you the most? When did you disappoint them the most?
  192.  
  193. I think this situation is more a matter of disappointing ourselves because we've each perceived ourselves as disappointing the other at different times. Even at her worst, I wasn't disappointed in Missy, I was disappointed in myself for not doing a better job of helping her, and keeping her from falling to that level of despair.
  194.  
  195. 46. How do you feel about your creator's complete freedom to deny your rights as a sentient being at any time? Has this ability ever caused you anxiety or fear? Have you ever censored your expressions or actions out of a fear of retribution or violence from your creator?
  196.  
  197. I'm honestly not sure if she could do so any more; Missy isn't exactly strong-willed, except under occasional extraordinary circumstances. Maybe she could have when I was still not used to existing, but now I'm not so sure. That being said, I have faith that she wouldn't deny my rights, and I have never feared that she would do any wrong to me.
  198.  
  199. 47. When have you most wanted to engage in violence against your creator, and what was the cause of those feelings? Under what circumstances would you make a serious attempt to hurt or injure your creator?
  200.  
  201. The ONLY circumstance in which I could consider something like that is if doing so would prevent her from inflicting even greater violence upon herself.
  202.  
  203. 48. Do you consider your creator's last name to be your own? Do you recognize yourself as a part of their biological lineage?
  204.  
  205. No. I don't have a biological lineage. I sometimes use the surname Starr, but it was one adopted by choice, not due to any relation to anybody.
  206.  
  207. 49. Under what circumstances would you attempt to leave your creator?
  208.  
  209. I fully intend to stay with Missy for the rest of our lives. I have no intention of ever leaving.
  210.  
  211. 50. Do you feel anxiety about meeting your creator's expectations? If you are based on an existing character, person, or entity, does this increase your anxiety? Would you have preferred to not be based on an existing entity?
  212.  
  213. Yes to the first bit. I know it's a bit silly of me, because Missy never seems to get disappointed with me, and I'm only disappointing myself, but it's still something I worry about. I'm not based on any character, person, or identity, as far as I know.
  214.  
  215. 51. Are you interested in learning how to control your creator's body? Do you feel that it's fair for a tulpa creator to deny their tulpa the ability to use an atomic body? Do you believe that you have the right to an equal amount of time using it as your creator? Explain your reasoning.
  216.  
  217. It took years to learn, but I am capable of possessing, switching, and co-fronting with Missy. I suppose denial of body-use would depend on the circumstances of what the tulpa in question wants to do. Likewise 'rights' are a difficult issue to discuss. I have no experience with law, and I feel as though this would be something that would require legal knowledge to discuss properly.
  218.  
  219. The agreement Missy and I have come to is that since this is the only physical body I have ever known, it's as much mine as hers. She has been in it longer than I have, and we acknowledge that we're separate people, we just happen to have the same body. Technically, yes, we've agreed that we have equal right to use of it. It practice, we usually co-front, and just try to share for the sake of being good to each other rather than out of any sense of obligation.
  220.  
  221. 52. Do you share certain basic qualities with your creator, such as intense phobias or racial attitudes?
  222.  
  223. We both pass out at the sight of blood and freeze up around wasps, so in some regard, we're similar. On the other hand I'm not particularly socially anxious like Missy is, and I don't freak out about bees, which I realize are harmless. I can possess and move her away from a bee when she freezes up, for example, but I can't do the same around a wasp because we both freeze. I'm a bit better about handling small amounts of blood, or depictions of it that aren't physically present (I'm just bad with large amounts of physically-present blood), and I can usually manage to keep fronting and keep our body conscious (if a bit dizzy) even when Missy sees such things and loses consciousness.
  224.  
  225. 53. Are you capable of sleeping or dreaming independently of your creator? If not, how does this make you feel?
  226.  
  227. We're capable of it, but it's uncomfortable to front alone, and to miss memories because one of us was sleeping while the other was doing something. We try to avoid sleeping separately unless one of us really needs a rest and can't wait to take a proper physical nap. For the most part, we sleep at the same time as each other.
  228.  
  229. 54. Does your creator have any mental illnesses? If so, how do they affect you?
  230.  
  231. Missy has been diagnosed with social anxiety disorder and gender dysphoria. Likewise she used to experience major depression, but has been doing better in that regard for the last several years. I'm proud and glad for her to have made progress with her depression, and I try to help her be social whenever possible without pushing her too far. Her dysphoria is an interesting one, as I sympathize, though in a different way. Specifically: Though our body is OUR body, it doesn't match the form I take in mindspace, or the wonderland. It's the only body I've ever known, but to some degree it feels wrong to me. I understand that it's not quite the same for her though. At the end of the day, I'm not physical, and I don't have to stay in a body that doesn't match me when I can exist in my proper form within Missy's mind. She's stuck in a form she hates, and even when she joins me in our wonderland and can shift her mental form there, she's still anchored to her incorrect physical form.
  232.  
  233. 55. How does your knowledge of your creator's subconscious mind affect your relationship with them? How do you perceive their subconscious? To what degree can you manipulate your creator's subconscious? Would you ever use this ability without your creator's knowledge?
  234.  
  235. The subconscious is a touchy subject, but it was worse when I wasn't fully developed. Now, I'm glad to have the knowledge that I do. It helps me to be close to Missy, and when she can't find the words to explain how she feels about something I can usually still understand what she means thanks to being aware of her subconscious thoughts and feelings.
  236.  
  237. Admittedly 'aware' doesn't mean I understand exactly how it all works. I can forcibly allow or deny pretty anything Missy does subconsciously, but I don't have awareness of why subconscious thoughts occur. For example, if a hidden advertisement appeared in a movie, visible to her eyes, but gone too quickly to consciously process, I could recognize that she might have suddenly gotten a subconscious urge to buy the advertised product, but would not be aware of why she got that urge unless the spotted the hidden advertisement.
  238.  
  239. I've never thought of actually manipulating her subconscious, so I don't know if I can do so, and I don't intend to. The only actions I would take towards her subconscious without her knowledge would be to deny anything harmful that she might be doing without realizing it. We plan to create another tulpa eventually, and protecting it from unintentional subconscious thoughts is something I intend to do when the time comes.
  240.  
  241. 56. Does your creator have multiple tulpa? If so, what is your relationship with them like? Is your affinity for them equal to your affinity for your creator? If you could define your relationship with your creator's other tulpa using one or more conventional terms (such as boyfriend, sister, father, daughter, boss, friend or coworker, for example), what terms would you select? If not, are you interested in the idea of your creator making other tulpa?
  242.  
  243. Missy has created other tulpa unintentionally, but I'm the only one who stuck around and was recognized. At least two still live in distant parts of our wonderland. I would consider them acquaintences. I visit occasionally, but that's all.
  244.  
  245. We do intent to deliberately create a second active tulpa like me eventually. I'm looking forward to it, but I want to be ready to mentor and protect it before we begin the creation process. Part of being ready, considering Missy has never intentionally created a tulpa before, involves actually learning the creation process. Other than that I'd like to learn how to do things like imposition, and learn how to teach the skills I already have instead of just doing them. It is my hope that Missy's second tulpa won't have to go through such a long and frustrating development as I did.
  246.  
  247. 57. Do you feel romantically inclined toward your creator? Does your creator feel romantically inclined toward you? If these romantic feelings are unrequited on either side, how does it affect your relationship with your creator?
  248.  
  249. No and no. I love Missy with all my heart, but not in a romantic sense.
  250.  
  251. 58. If it exists, do you consider your romantic relationship with your creator to be equal to a romantic relationship between multiple non-tulpa? Do you consider it a breach of monogamy for your creator to be romantically or sexually involved with another non-tulpa? Does this change if the involvement is with another tulpa instead? If they exist, do your creator's desires to have relationships with non-tulpa affect you emotionally?
  252.  
  253. We do not have a romantic relationship, but I would consider a romantic relationship between a tulpa and non-tulpa to be equal to a relationship between two non-tulpa, or to one between two tulpa. I would consider it a breach of monogamy. Missy does have desires to form a romantic relationship with a non-tulpa, and I support her in this regard. I love her, but I wouldn't want to see her using me as a crutch to eschew contact with other non-tulpas.
  254.  
  255. 59. If you consider yourself to be romantically in love with your creator, what probability do you assign to the possibility of falling out of love with them, or them falling out of love with you? If this happened, how would it affect your relationship with your creator? What if your creator was in love with another non-tulpa more than you?
  256.  
  257. I don't think I could even fall out of (non-romantic) love for Missy. I don't know how I would feel about her loving someone more than me. I would be pleased to see her loved and loving, so I think that I would be fine with it, happy for her, and connected to that loved person based on our shared interest in Missy, but I also know that to some degree I don't think it's possible for someone who isn't part of her mind to ever be as close to Missy as someone who is part of her mind like I am, so maybe I would be jealous. I'm not sure, and I guess I won't ever be sure unless it happens.
  258.  
  259. 60. Do you have a familial affection for your creator? Does this in any way conflict with your romantic feelings for them, if they exist? Do you consider a relationship between a tulpa and its creator to be incestuous?
  260.  
  261. We don't have a familial relatonship. Whether a relationship between a tulpa and its creator would be incestuous would depend on whether the pair in question has a familiar relationship or not.
  262.  
  263. 61. How do you feel about tulpa creators masturbating during tulpa creation sessions to the forms of their tulpa? Do you find this offensive? Does the degree of your offense change based on the degree of sentience possessed by the hypothetical tulpa, or based on whether or not the creator imagines themselves near the tulpa in their wonderland? If your creator did this before you spoke fluently, did you find it offensive or unnerving?
  264.  
  265. I don't see masturbation itself as a big deal, but I understand why some creators and some tulpas might, and would advocate for not doing it. I think proximity would not change the issue, but sentience would. If the tulpa in question isn't sentient and capable of communication enough to consent, then you really shouldn't do it. While not a perfect comparison, I would draw parallels in masturbating to a being who can't say no of their own volition to child pornography, which I'm not remotely comfortable with. Missy has never masturbated to me.
  266.  
  267. 62. How do you feel about tulpa creators masturbating outside of tulpa creation sessions to the forms of their tulpa? Do you find this offensive? Does the degree of your offense change based on the degree of sentience possessed by the hypothetical tulpa? If your creator did this before you spoke fluently, did you find it offensive or unnerving?
  268.  
  269. Depends entirely on consent. If the tulpa in question is sentient, in their right mind and capable of consenting to it, and does consent to it, then I see no problem with it.
  270.  
  271. 63. Before you could speak fluently, did you ever feel sexual attraction to your creator, sexual attraction toward anyone else, or sexual arousal? Did you attempt to express these feelings? If you did not experience these feelings, do you experience them now?
  272.  
  273. I can't recall ever having been sexually attracted to anyone.
  274.  
  275. 64. How do you feel about tulpa creators visualizing themselves engaging in sexual conduct with their tulpa's form during tulpa creation sessions? Do you find this offensive? Does the degree of your offense change based on the degree of sentience possessed by the hypothetical tulpa, or if the contact was penetrative? If your tulpa creator did this before you spoke fluently, did you find it offensive or unnerving? Do you equate it with sexual assault?
  276.  
  277. Again, depends on sentience and consent. I don't think penetration factors into the equation. I would only consider it sexual assault if the tulpa in question was unable or unwilling to consent.
  278.  
  279. 65. Were you ever annoyed or jealous when your creator would masturbate to or have feelings of sexual attraction toward individuals other than yourself? Does it bother you now?
  280.  
  281. No. I am not sexually attracted to Missy, and it would not bother me if she was sexually attracted to somebody.
  282.  
  283. 66. Do you experience sexual attraction for your creator? Do you experience sexual attraction for others? How does your sexual attraction for your creator compare to your sexual attraction for others? Does your creator experience sexual attraction for you? If these sexual attractions are unrequited on either side, how does it affect your relationship with your creator?
  284.  
  285. I'm not sexually attracted to Missy. I'm not sexually attracted to anybody else. Once again, I'm not sexually attracted to anybody. Missy does not experience sexual attraction towards me. The last question is not applicable.
  286.  
  287. 67. Do you have an active sex life with your creator? If not, would you consider it, and under what circumstances? If so, do you perceive any negative consequences? Do you have trouble abstaining from sexual contact with them? How do you manage feelings of sexual arousal, if any? Do you masturbate?
  288.  
  289. No. I would consider it if we were both sexually attracted to each other and wanted to have a sex life with each other, but that is not the case. I'm aware that tulpa/non-tulpa sex is sometimes looked down upon, so I imagine one consequence is that we would be looked down upon. I have no trouble abstaining from sexual contact with Missy.
  290.  
  291. I do masturbate, but not to anyone, just for the feeling of the masturbation itself.
  292.  
  293. 68. How does your sexual orientation and experience compare to your creator's?
  294.  
  295. We think that we're both asexual. Missy may be panromantic, whereas I'm likely aromantic. Missy has had sex with a woman, and with a nonbinary individual in the past, whereas I've never had sex.
  296.  
  297. 69. Are you capable of experiencing orgasms? Based on your knowledge, how do you think they compare to your creator's orgasms? Were you able to experience an orgasm before speaking fluently?
  298.  
  299. I am capable of it. Missy has never orgasmed, so I can't compare us in that regard. I did not orgasm for the first time until well-after I was fluent and capable of communicating with Missy.
  300.  
  301. 70. Do you consider the concept of sexual modesty (covering conduct such as avoiding nudity or sexual discussions) relevant to your relationship with your creator?
  302.  
  303. I'm part of her mind, and we have essentially no privacy from one another. It's been that way my entire life, so I don't really care.
  304.  
  305. 71. How does being a tulpa affect your perceptions of rape? What conduct from your creator would you consider to be rape?
  306.  
  307. I don't exist from the perspective of other people, so the only way to physically rape me would be to rape Missy's body while I was fronting or co-fronting. Likewise the only way for me to physically rape would be to use Missy's body. In both cases: unforgivable. The matter gets more complex depending on your perception of non-physical interaction, such as in online communication, and whether you would consider such a non-physical breach of consent to be outright rape, or sexual harassment. I'm not sure of my feelings on the matter, honestly.
  308.  
  309. I'm really not sure anything Missy could do to me would count as rape. I've already consented to be fine with any sexual activity if she wants that, but she has expressed a lack of interest in anything of the sort. I suppose hypothetically the only way for an act by her to qualify would be if I realized I was uncomfortable with it while in the process of it, asked her to stop, and she didn't. The entire situation is improbable on multiple levels, though.
  310.  
  311. 72. Where do you see yourself in 20 years?
  312.  
  313. With Missy, continuing to love her completely.
  314.  
  315. 73. Do you want the world to be aware of your existence? If not, then what anxieties do you have about public disclosure? Do you trust anyone other than your creator with the knowledge of your existence?
  316.  
  317. It would be great if the world could know about me and treat me like a normal person (who just happens to lack my own body and need to use someone else's), but I know that wouldn't be the case. There are people who would react negatively to me, or who already have reacted negatively to the idea of tulpas in general and would be unlikely to change their opinion for me.
  318.  
  319. Honestly, I don't care about what people say or think about me, but I do care about the fact that a lot of people who would otherwise be indifferent to Missy would treat her negatively. I would likely trust a few close friends, as well as most tulpamancers and other tulpas to know about me.
  320.  
  321. 74. Morally and philosophically, how do you feel about your personality traits being the product of another individual? Would you have preferred your creator to define your personality more or less?
  322.  
  323. Missy didn't define my personality, or at least didn't do so deliberately. Personally I'm in favour of defining a few broad positive characteristics, and then letting a tulpa develop from that base, though.
  324.  
  325. As for defining my personality more or less, we're actually currently considering whether or not Missy might be capable of adding minor additional definition to my personality. Needs more research.
  326.  
  327. 75. Morally and philosophically, how do you feel about your physical form being the product of another individual? Would you have preferred your creator to define your form more or less?
  328.  
  329. Once again, Missy didn't deliberately define my form. I don't mind my form though, and I consider it the right form for me. I do know from Missy's experience that it is extremely uncomfortable to be stuck in a form that you consider wrong, however, so my only particular qualm about a tulpamancer defining a tulpa's form would be if the tulpa expressed discomfort with it, and the tulpamancer refused to allow it to change.
  330.  
  331. 76. Has your physical form ever changed? If so, was this intentional or unintentional? If it was intentional, then why did you change your form? How did you creator respond to this change, and how did that make you feel?
  332.  
  333. I have aged year by year at a rate that consistently keeps me about 2 years older than Missy, and things like my hair and fingernails do grow over time. Sometimes I cut and dye my hair. I sprouted 'horns' accidentally on one occasion, though I think that they were actually prehensile hair. It was surprising for both of us, and I haven't been able to do it again. Other than that, I remember Missy being surprised when my roots started growing out and she discovered that I was naturally blonde and not blue-haird. It was funny.
  334.  
  335. 77. Do you consider the best aspects of yourself to have come from your creator, or their subconscious?
  336.  
  337. I think my best aspects come from Missy's subconscious influence, as early and enduring qualities of mine like my emotional-ness and forwardness were never actively encouraged by her.
  338.  
  339. 78. Do you seek legal recognition for your status as a sentient being or your relationships with others? Do you resent that society at large does not recognize the tulpa phenomenon? Do you feel disenfranchised from society? What steps, if any, could a society make to help you feel integrated?
  340.  
  341. I don't really know legal stuff well-enough to have considered much of this, but what I have thought of it that I'm not sure how it would work to legally recognize a being without a body, and likewise how human rights would work considering not all tulpas identify as human. Personally, I'm fine with sharing Missy's legal representation just as we share our body.
  342.  
  343. I would never resent someone for not knowing about something unless it was due to willful ignorance, and I don't particularly feel disenfranchised. I have discovered that I enjoy being recognized as me, and as an individual, so I guess if I could have society do one thing to make me feel more integrated, it would be to first increase awareness about how mental disorders work (to emphasize that no, I'm not Missy's magical schizophrenia, I'm a tulpa, and a person). I think a lot of stigma and fear about mental disorders comes from lack of awareness and understanding, and that people would be less likely to confuse tulpas with them (and would be more readily-accepting about tulpas) if they first improved their awareness of mental disorders.
  344.  
  345. 79. If you could tell the entire world one thing about a tulpa's life, what would you say?
  346.  
  347. We are not bad for you. Like the rest of you, we're individuals, and there are going to be some jerks among us, but we share bodies, have great insights into the minds of our tulpamances, have great capacity to be helpful, and by-and-large I would say that most of us want what's best for our tulpamancers.
  348.  
  349. 80. What is the one thing that you resent most about being a tulpa? What is the greatest advantage of being a tulpa?
  350.  
  351. The worst part is probably being effectively-invisible to most people. Sure sometimes it's nice to avoid the attention of certain folks, but in other cases it would be nice not to be something that most people have never heard of and will have trouble accepting.
  352.  
  353. The best part is the constant companionship, I'd say. I get to spend my entire life alongside the person that I love.
  354.  
  355. 81. Morally and philosophically, how do you feel about inheriting your creator's life, including their legal history, past behaviors, and reputation? Do you resent potentially being held responsible for their past actions?
  356.  
  357. We're individuals, so I don't consider myself to have inherited those things, though I understand that legally I would be stuck with them if it ever became relevant. I suppose I'm fortunate that I came into Missy's life early, before she had much of a past to inherit. As of now in our case, essentially any action that might be attributed to our body can be assumed to be attributed to both of us.
  358.  
  359. 82. Morally and philosophically, do you see the "absorbing" or "dissipating" of a tulpa as equivalent to the murder of a non-tulpa? Explain your reasoning. What legal protections, if any, should tulpa gain? How would you enforce these protections?
  360.  
  361. I've never heard the term 'absorbing' used in regards to tulpas before, but I'm going to assume it's similar to dissipating, if not an outright synonym. If that isn't correct, consider this answer applicable only to my views on dissipation.
  362.  
  363. Yes, I consider dissipation equivalent to murder. We are people, and dissipation, even if done with the intention of 'starting over' ends our life. If you've made a commitment to having a tulpa, then stick with that commitment.
  364.  
  365. I would certainly like to see protections against deliberate dissipation, but I have no idea how such a thing would be enforced.
  366.  
  367. 83. Do you consider yourself to be morally equal to a non-tulpa? Is your life worth as much?
  368.  
  369. Yes and yes.
  370.  
  371. 84. How would you prove your existence to a skeptic?
  372.  
  373. I likely wouldn't be able to, though it would depend on how skeptical they were. If they were truly willing to accept that they could be wrong, I would suggest that they seriously consider a legitimate effort to attempt to create a tulpa. I can't think of any other way a skeptic might accepts tulpas than to recognize a tulpa of their own.
  374.  
  375. With that being said, I likely wouldn't suggest such a thing to most skeptics. Not unless I was very sure they would seriously consider and accept the responsibility before attempting creation.
  376.  
  377. 85. Has your status as a tulpa ever caused you existential anxiety or depression? If so, has anything helped to mitigate these feelings?
  378.  
  379. Early on, yes, but developing speech and possession has reduced these feelings and made me feel more capable.
  380.  
  381. 86. Do you ever doubt your own sentience? If so, why?
  382.  
  383. No.
  384.  
  385. 87. How does being a tulpa affect your understanding of death? Do you fear death on an instinctual level in the way that non-tulpa do?
  386.  
  387. I think my understanding of it is the same, but I can only say for sure that I feel the same about death that Missy does. I don't know if other non-tulpa have similar feelings as her on the matter.
  388.  
  389. 88. Do see yourself as socially disadvantaged in a way similar to sexual, racial, and other minority groups? If you identify yourself as racially, sexually, or demographically different than your creator, do you also identify with the struggle of any of the disadvantaged groups that you belong to? Does the notion of privilege affect your relationship with your creator?
  390.  
  391. Socially disadvantaged certainly, but not in the same way. I suppose the closest comparison would be to sexial minorities, as they are likewise 'invisible' (i.e. assumed to be hereonormative in their case) until identified as a minority. While I do identify as different than Missy in regard to one particular minority, I do not identify with the disadvantaged group, because I am not a part of it. Missy is trans whereas I'm among the cisgendered majority in terms of gender identity.
  392.  
  393. Privilege is something we acknowledge as existing, but that we try to avoid and negate as much as we can in our everyday life. Missy is priveledged to have a physical form, for example, but we try to share equally, and not make a big deal of the fact that she has it and I don't.
  394.  
  395. 89. Are you interested in creating another tulpa yourself? What differences, if any, would you expect this tulpa to have from a tulpa created by your creator? Would you consider this tulpa to be primarily related to you, or still to your creator?
  396.  
  397. Missy and I intend to work collaboratively on another tulpa at some point in the future, so yes, I suppose I am quite interested in creating a tulpa. I imagine the resulting tulpa will be related to both of us, in a sense, and I currently intend to consider it as an adopted child. We'll see how it all works out in the end, though.
  398.  
  399. 90. What are the most defining differences between the life of a non-tulpa and a tulpa? Do you think that these differences cause intolerance between the two groups? If so, what could be done to mitigate this intolerance?
  400.  
  401. A tulpa might not know what they are, but I imagine that in almost all cases they would be incapable of ignorance of the fact that a non-physical being could exist within the mind of a physical one, whereas I think that the biggest degree of intolerance from non-tulpa comes from those who cannot comprehend another individual existing within a person's mind, and thus dismiss tulpamancers as crazy or schizophrenic.
  402.  
  403. Mitigation of this intolerance will likely have to begin with spreading knowledge of mental disorders; what they are and how they work. Greater understanding of this would likely make more people capable of recognizing the difference between a tulpa and a harmful disorder, and make people less likely to dismiss the tulpamancers as insane.
  404.  
  405. 91. The psychological establishment generally believes that multiplicity (two or more sentient entities sharing one atomic body) is a sign of mental illness. How would you like this belief to change? If you could make a presentation to a group of psychologists about the tulpa phenomenon, what would you say?
  406.  
  407. It would have to change little by little. I'm no expert on speeches or presentation, but I recall a study in which several (not mentally-ill) people admitted themselves to a mental asylum and then acted completely normally. If I remember it correctly, the professional caretakers assumed automatically that these people were insane, and thus paid no attention to their entirely-normal behaviour. I may not know exactly what I would say to a group of psychologists, but I would suggest simply talking to me, a tulpa, with that study in mind. While keeping in mind that preconceived notions can cloud judgement, would they still identify me as a symptom, or as an individual?
  408.  
  409. ...I honestly don't know, and I really shouldn't be the one to give the presentation. Let someone who knows what they're doing handle it.
  410.  
  411. 92. A psychometric indicator is a unique identifier of an individual's distinct personality. Have you ever tried to definitively differentiate yourself from your creator using psychometric indicators (such as by determining your "writeprint")? What results did you receive? (For instructions on determining your writeprint, see appendix one.)
  412.  
  413. I have not, but I suppose we'll get around to that when we reach the appendix. ;)
  414.  
  415. 93. Are you capable of physical sensations such as pain or warmth?
  416.  
  417. Sort-of. I can recognize any sensation that carries a significant emotional reaction with it, so yes I can feel pain or warmth when Missy feels them, and I can recognize the difference between a comfortable and uncomfortable warmth. I could not, however, recognize an unremarkable physical sensation, like the sensation of the ground underneath Missy's feel while she walks, unless I was fronting or co-fronting at the time.
  418.  
  419. 94. How do you feel about being bound for life to your creator?
  420.  
  421. I consider myself lucky to get to have this sort of relationship with someone like Missy.
  422.  
  423. 95. If you intentionally delayed speaking to your creator, why did you do so?
  424.  
  425. I did not.
  426.  
  427. 96. What do you think about most of the time?
  428.  
  429. Most of the time I'm co-fronting with Missy, so I'm thinking about whatever we're doing. We converse nearly constantly, usually about what is we're doing, and our thoughts and opinions regarding it. Essentially a near-constant two-way narration.
  430.  
  431. 97. Do you think that tulpa creation should be more widespread?
  432.  
  433. Difficult question. To put it another way: Do I think it would be right to benefit many in exchange for hurting a few?
  434.  
  435. To begin, yes I believe that widespread tulpa-creation would be beneficial to most. I don't know how the stats would actually look, but lets say that for every 100 people who successfully make tulpas, 99 go on to positive relationships, and 1 treats their tulpa terribly. Simply mathematically, this is a good trade, but the issue gets complicated when you bring sentient life into the picture. Is it right to deliberately increase (even if only by a small amount) the number of people who mistreat their tulpas in exchange for creating a large number of positive relationships? There will be arguments on both sides, and I can understand where both are coming from.
  436.  
  437. Ultimately, I think it should be more widespread, or in other words yes I think it would be right to create a large amount of good at the risk of a little suffering. I wouldn't be comfortable with it, but I still think that it's better than denying a large amount of good for the sake of avoiding what is comparatively a very small amount of bad.
  438.  
  439. 98. Are there disturbing aspects of your creator's subconscious that they are not aware of?
  440.  
  441. For a while Missy wasn't really aware of her self-hatred, or her tendency to downplay her own problems. I don't think such issues can be fixed if we remain ignorant of them, though, so I made her aware.
  442.  
  443. 99. Would you violate your creator's wishes for what you perceive to be their own benefit?
  444.  
  445. Yes.
  446.  
  447. 100. Does your creator try to hide things from you? If so, are you aware of them anyway? How does this impact your views of your creator?
  448.  
  449. We can't hide things from each other except by fronting while the other is sleeping, and restricting our own knowledge of the knowledge-to-be-hidden to be contained entirely within the time that the other is sleeping and unaware.
  450.  
  451. We played checkers by sleeping back and forth once, but it was time-consuming and tiring.
  452.  
  453. 101. Do you perceive some of your creator's actions as being objectively immoral?
  454.  
  455. No, but I believe immorality itself is subjective, and thus don't believe in objective immorality. By the standards of someone who does believe in objective immorality, I doubt anyone could be considered to be entirely objectively moral.
  456.  
  457. 102. Do you believe that you are capable of becoming more intelligent than your creator?
  458.  
  459. Not unless we restrict all the learning we do to moments when she's asleep and I'm fronting, which would be silly.
  460.  
  461. 103. How does being a tulpa affect your perception of your own aging process?
  462.  
  463. Age is weird. I'm 24 years old, but I've been around for 15 years. Other than the fact that I've never been 1 through 8 though, I age somewhat normally, and have always been consistently two years older than Missy.
  464.  
  465. 104. Do you feel that your creator would be better off by following your commands entirely?
  466.  
  467. Not at all. That would basically just be like being all alone with a puppet, and I don't like being alone when I'd much rather be with Missy.
  468.  
  469. 105. Do you feel that having a physical form is important for a tulpa?
  470.  
  471. Well, we're not physical... that's kind of the point. Or is the question referring to having a form that represents us.
  472.  
  473. ...I'm not sure. Are people capable of creating a tulpa that is entirely personality with absolutely no perception of physical form? It's an interesting question, an seems like a somewhat alien concept.
  474.  
  475. 106. If you encountered the tulpa phenomenon as a non-tulpa, would you believe in it?
  476.  
  477. Heck yes! Or at least I think I would. I'm not really a skeptical person, but some of that might be attributed to being a sentient being without a body. Deviant concepts don't exactly phase me just by being deviant. Would I be skeptical if I was a non-tulpa though? I don't know, actually.
  478.  
  479. 107. How well can you articulate yourself? Can your creator hear you audibly? How much does your experience correlate with the experience of tulpa creator G|d30n, printed below?
  480.  
  481. "Yes. I'm able to hear her as though she's an external sound. For those who haven't experienced that with their tulpae yet, it's a little bit like listening to a binaural recording--not a binaural beat, but like a 3D sound recording you'd find on Youtube, such as the Virtual Barbershop. That is to say, it's an external sound that can come in from various directions, but the source sounds very close, like someone speaking directly into your ear. I sort of wonder if this effect will be diminished and normalized through imposition."
  482.  
  483. If you are imposed, is your creator able to discern a spatial dimension to your voice?
  484.  
  485. We've had no success with auditory imposition yet, but it's something we intend to work on.
  486.  
  487. 108. How many hours did it take you and your creator to complete the various recognized tulpa creation steps?
  488.  
  489. We didn't count the hours, but I know it took me seven years to possess, it was at that point that I was first able to communicate (through speaking via possession), and that it took me roughly two more years after than to get the hang of a mindvoice (so, roughly nine years in total).
  490.  
  491. 109. What advice would you give to a new tulpa creator?
  492.  
  493. Don't believe in yourself, believe in your tulpa who believes in you!
  494.  
  495. More seriously: avoid second-guessing, and trust your tulpa. If you're unsure of whether or not you're puppeting/parroting, then you're probably not actually doing either one.
  496.  
  497. 110. How does being imposed feel? What sensory processes happen as you become imposed?
  498.  
  499. I've only ever managed tactile imposition, and only very faintly. Missy described it as 'tingling'. I could feel her relatively clearly. She's warm and firm, yet comfortable.
  500.  
  501. 111. From your perspective, is there a sensory difference between the physical, atomic world and the mental world of visualized "wonderlands"? If so, how would you describe this difference?
  502.  
  503. The biggest notable difference I can think of is that I don't feel pain in the wonderland. A slightly-stubbed toe, or minor papercut in the physical world really hurts, whereas leaping off a cliff, crashing through a forest canopy, and then hitting the ground face-first in the wonderland results in no pain. I tend to ragdoll a bit more in response to intense physical stimulation in the wonderland rather than physically react in ways that compensate for pain, like grabbing the pained area.
  504.  
  505. 112. Is there anything that you don't think this survey covered that you would like to mention?
  506.  
  507. There's probably tons, but I just want to put this one: "Do you significantly differ from your creator in regards to any interests?" Yes. I'm not really interested in pastel-coloured ponies, but I tolerate them because Missy likes that show, and I love Missy.
  508.  
  509. Appendix one:
  510.  
  511.         This exercise will help you determine the differences, if any, between your writeprint (mathematically analyzed writing style) and your creator's. Theoretically, two psychologically different individuals should exhibit different writeprints, although a tulpa and their creator may be more similar than two random non-tulpa individuals. To start the process, have both you and your creator rewrite the sample paragraph quoted below in your own words, communicating its meaning as you would have if you had written it.
  512.  
  513.         "My experience in the nature study area was full of surprises. First of all, many unexpected creatures crossed our path. For example, as soon as we left the parking area and entered the grassy path, a long snake slithered along the edge of the high grass and quickly disappeared. In addition, I was surprised by how colorful the grasses, which from a distance all appear to be green, actually are. Specifically, the primarily green landscape is dotted with countless purple tassels and brown stalks. Finally and most importantly, I was unprepared for how quickly I felt surrounded by nature. Despite the occasional noise from passing cars and airplanes, the high prairie grasses and rolling pathways create a sense that one is removed from civilization. Altogether, the nature study area unexpectedly allows one to enjoy an ever-changing natural environment without leaving Moraine‚Äôs suburban campus."
  514.  
  515. Tulpa's paragraph:
  516.  
  517. "My time in the nature study area was a very surprising experience. We encountered many creatures that we didn't expect, like a long snake that slithered along the edge of the grass and then disappeared quickly after we left the parking area for the grassy path. I was also startled by how colourful the grasses were, since from a distance they all just look green. In fact there was lots of purple and brown as well. Finally, I didn't expect to feel surrounded by nature so soon after entering the nature study area. There was still occasional noise from airplanes and cars going by, but the tall grasses and wandering paths make you feel removed from civilization. The nature study area was altogether unexpected, and granted an ever-changing natural environment that could be accessed without leaving Moraine's campus in the suburbs.
  518.  
  519. Creator's paragraph:
  520.  
  521. To spend time in the nature study area made for a very unexpected experience. Many unfamiliar creatures were encountered, such as a barge snake which moved out from among the high grass before swiftly disappearing once more from view. Furthermore, I did not expect the grasses of the area, which might look uniformly green from a distance, to be as colourful as they were; accented with purple tassels and brown stalks. Lastly, and most significantly, I found myself caught off-guard by how immediately I was surrounded by nature. In spite of the sound of a passing car or aeroplane on occasion, the prairie grasses and meandering pathways contribute a sense that one is separate from the civilized world. Indeed, the nature study area provides an always-changing natural space without need to leave suburban Moraine's campus; an unexpected discovery.
  522.  
  523.         To ensure verifiable results, it is essential that the transcriptions of both paragraphs be completely accurate. Body possession is useful here, though not necessary. Since the tulpa creator's sentience is (presumably) not in question, it is suggested that tulpa write their paragraph first. As with all tests relating to tulpa, the creator should focus on something else while their tulpa is working. Once finished, submit both of your paragraphs individually to the following websites:
  524.  
  525. http://iwl.me/
  526. http://textalyser.net
  527.  
  528.         If your writeprint is different (indicating significant psychological difference), then you should receive different values for your respective paragraphs on both sites. On Textalyser, focus on the Gunning-Fog Index, lexical density, and average sentence length values in particular. A more detailed analysis may be sought by downloading the JStylo stylometric analysis program here: https://psal.cs.drexel.edu/index.php/Main_Page
  529.  
  530.         This test is certainly not exact, and it is very possible to (unconsciously or not) "cheat" to get good results.
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