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- Dear Zach W.
- I took your comment at face value and took my time to write all of this. I wish the best and I am confident that you will be a great father! Best of luck to you! These are only opinions. Make of them what you will. They are directed at Zach W. I do not care from responses or opinions from any other commenters.
- I am not a professional all of these are only opinions I have gathered, these are not advises and you should not take them as advises. If you are looking for advice you should consult with a professional. You should not take advises from YouTube Comments
- I formed my opinions based on traditions in my family, and my people these may or may not alight with what will follow. These were handed down through generations. All of these describe opinions of healthy children when absolute perfect conditions are met. Everyone's situation may be different. Consult with professionals. You are solely responsible of what you do and how you raise your children. Do your own research.
- Here are some opinions:
- 1. Natural birth is the best birth. The babies body gets squished through the birth canal and that will help the babies organs to activate so to speak. Doctors usually try to convince the mother that there is some risk involved and last minute they always decide to do a cesarean.. well they usually make more money doing that. Get a doctor or a Midwife that you trust. Meet them before the birth and establish trust or think about home birth many providers in the Nashville area. Let them know you do not want a cesarean unless the babies or the mothers life/health is in actual risk. The father should be at birth in the same room, and preferably even "catch" the baby, this bond will never be broken by anything in life. The baby should be placed immediately on the mothers chest, so he can hear the heartbeat and the mother acknowledges that it is a live birth. The umbilical cord should only be cut after it stopped pulsating, it is still pumping stem cells into the little ones body. It is important to place the little one on the chest of the mother immediately for at least a couple of minutes. If the baby is not put on the mothers chest immediately after birth this will cause "post birth depression" in the mother and trauma in the child. Let them know about this upfront! Absolutely and forcefully if necessary insist that they or you do this. they can weigh and do the checks and all the rest after a couple of minutes.
- 2. Research circumcision, from medical perspective and without religious bias. It is the most sensitive part with the most nerve ending, having it removed will not only cause trauma but also has the effect of making harder for the baby to form trustworthy relationships in life, since he will eventually not be able to physically (missing nerves) feel its life partner the way an uncircumcised person will. This is not a religious question. Let them children and you practice any religion of your choosing. Removing body parts is humans rights issue. If he chooses to be circumcised later that is of his choosing to honor a religion or heritage. However children who are circumcised become more ruthless in life, this may prove to advantage in some careers!, but will lack the higher levels of empathy. Don't call names, don't get angry, research and research a lot! a good start is "Sex & Circumcision: An American Love Story by Eric Clopper" on youtube. You have the right to disagree.
- 3. Breastfed babies are the strongest babies and healthiest babies. No formula can replace breast milk, they were invented for and during war times only. Babies on formula are usually chubby and unhealthy. Breast milk contains a lot of fat which their bodies can process and not store as FAT, the babies need breast-milk for brain development. If you are having problems breastfeeding hire a lactation consultant. Worth the money if you are having your first baby. Breastfeeding DOES NOT HURT! if it does you are doing it wrong, they and you have to be trained on this. the whole areola goes in the mouth etc. Again ask a lactation consultant.
- 4. Ideally you want breast milk exclusively until 6 months old. the babies gut is not sealed completely before that, giving them other types of food before 6 months may cause allergies in life later. Watch for cues/signs, when the baby is capable of sitting upright and pinching with 2 fingers and is trying to imitate you when you are eating etc. he or she may be ready but take it slowly. Read the book on baby lead weaning. stay away from nuts, eggs allergy types of foods until baby is 1 year old, and he will not form an allergy and will be able to eat anything for the rest of his live.
- 5. Solid foods. Keep breastfeeding but introduce solid foods after 6 months or the cues/signs. Make it fun. Sit baby to the table when you are eating, keep choking hazard foods away from baby, only soft foods. Watch out for anything that does not dissolve in mouth they may be a choking hazzard. Read the book on "baby led weaning" well before time so you are ready. Do not give them pures or baby food from supermarkets. If you make them its better but they enjoy eating what you do, like soft cooked broccoli etc. read the book has many useful tips on eating. solid foods will help in teething as well. no need for
- 6. Breast feed as long as possible. Studies have shown that babies who were breastfeed longer will have a higher IQ that those who were not accounting for all other factors. Min of 1 year is recommended Clear papers written on it, it's not a myth. Know that you are unlikely to get pregnant again while breastfeeding.
- 7. Baby should sleep in the same room as you, he needs to hear and feel parents near by all the time, no baby monitor will do that. Remember these little angels are 100% dependent on you. They need to know all the time they you are there.
- 8. Watch out for flat head. Rotate the baby all the time. Their head is soft and if they are on one side for a long time flattening may occur. no pillows or anything soft in crib, all can be chocking hazard. buy a good baby mattress and pea-pod type of clothes. no loose clothes no pillows etc. Read up on "SIDS" and how to avoid it. Flip them on the belly daytime and play with them in that way too, it's good for their backs. Consult with your doctor about these as well.
- 9. Play classical music or music that is pleasant to the soft ear. There is no clear cause and effect proof but it is known that classical music and music played on classical instruments help brain development in children.
- 10. Breast feeding as long as possible is the best for the immune system. That and playing in dirt a little is not always that bad. Research hours and hours and hours on vaccines and what is in them. Make up your own informed decision on each and every vaccine. Consult with other parents who have done what you are looking to do.
- 11. Walking. Do not "teach" them to walk. They already know how to walk, it's just their muscle or bones do not support that yet. We have evolved to walk. You do not need to teach them, the only thing you will do is to forcefully hasten something that they are not yet ready for. There is no healthy child on earth that didn't learn to walk because their parents didn't teach them how to. There are however kids with bowed or Knock-kneed legs because parents wanted to tech them too early how to walk. Know that babies are somewhat bow legged from birth this is so they can hold moms hip better when they are being carried. this however will go away, but if forced on legs too early a different type of bowed legs may occur that will not go away. Encourage them to stand up by helping them hold the side of the bed etc. but to not help them or support them, do not support their weight. When they can move their own weight they will be ready and will learn to walk super fast. They will have much better balance for the rest of their life than kids who were "thought" to walk and much better self esteem later in life.
- 12. No toys that go Beep or Boop on push of button. This is fun for them but not good for them. Toys that give instant reactions to instant actions "like slot machines in casinos" are not good for a child's brain. It's like drugs. The same goes for mobile phones it's not for them, never let them play with mobile phones, not just the radiation but also the instant reward system. All addiction is the same addiction, the object of the addiction is different. All addiction is just the dopamine release in the brain due to the neuro path shortcuts in the front lobe of the brain. Instant action, instant reward. Sets them up for failure in life. They should spend time with the toy learn how to enjoy the toy and use their imagination instead of images made for them to consume.
- 13. No TV. Just get rid of it completely. Flashing colorful images like an LSD trip, nobody learns anything, it's just a drug really. If you want you can set up a cartoon time once or twice a week for 30 min do it on the computer. play them classical cartoons with nice music in it.
- 14. Buy/receive wooden toys instead of plastic . Certain plastic toys may contain plastic molecules that are close to estrogen, female hormone. It causes effeminization in boys and worse throwing fits in girls. Don't get too scared of plastic toys but try to avoid them as much as possible ESPECIALLY while in the age that they put everything in their mouths.
- 15. Play time should be active. active active active! Once they can move they need to move all day every day. preferably have a backyard let them run bare foot etc. they will sleep better. let them play in the dirt a little. Parents who complain about babies not sleeping a. don't let them move (car, car-seat, shopping cart babies with phones etc.) b. don't give them solid foods and they have hard time with teething.
- 16. Talk to them, all the time about anything: weather, toys, cars, boats, babies, dolls what you see what you smell, doesn't matter. Talk to them in adult voice not with goofy or baby voice or they will be infants for the rest of their lives. Demand everyone in your family and friends to talk with them "not on their baby voice". Treat them as little intelligent beings and they will become intelligent beings. Call them on their name or "my son" or "my daughter" "my beloved child" "my sunshine" etc. not "buddy", "mr", "little miss" etc. what you call them will effect your relationship for the rest of your lives. you call them "mr." and then you wonder why are they estranged when they turn
- 17. Call them something that they know that you have a blood relationship that is stronger than anything and will never change. Use adjectives that empower them in the area they feel they are missing. Even while they are babies! Call them ans speak to them in this manner "thank you my beautiful boy/girl" "come here, my strong son" "my courageous daughter" "my smart boy" whatever you feel they lack, call them the positive of that, it will help them build on it. VERY IMPORTANT: Call your children beautiful or they will seek other older men or women who will call them that.
- 18. Never embarrass them in front of others NEVER! it doesn't matter if its about poopie diapers or peeing in bed or dropping something. They will loose trust in you and there will be no coming back. They think you and they have little secrets and the family is a holy place. You have to make sure that is true. Remember just because they cant talk yet don't think they don't understand OR can feel whats going on from non verbal language.
- 19. Never Ever EVER lie to them! I see many kids coming up with lies or made up stories. This is a learned pattern. They caught their parent lieing once now there is no turning back. Say, no, not now, i will tel you when you grow up, etc. but never lie. Always be truthful with them and you will have the most upright kids in the world. In my culture there is a saying. "An honest man is honored even by it's enemies, (even over their own kind) because they know these are the people you can build a country on."
- 20. Above All spend time with your children. There is nothing more important than this. Children with both working parents who are missing at or more than 8h a day from the children life develop the same syndrome that children who were abandoned at birth. "Abandoned child syndrome" There is nothing more important in this life than to be with those who you case for. There is no material wealth that will buy your children back if they have a feeling of abandonment. get new skills, work more, make the money work, make the budget work, send grandma back to work not the mom. from year 1-3 mom is a bit more important from 3 they are equally important.
- 21. Do what feels natural. Just as a child is born with the knowledge how to walk, he only needs the bones and muscle to be strong enough to carry him, so are we born with the knowledge of being parents, but you have to bring up old instincts passed down through generations. Listen to all advises, but you are not obligated to take all advises, take your time and listen to your own Natural Instincts use it as a filter.
- Teach them anything and everything you know. Be strong with them when they need that and be kind with them when they need that. They are your continuation on this world. You can fail at school or at your career, you can fail at money, at anything in life as long as you raised good honest and honorable children you have contributed more to this world than all the inventors, scientist and leaders combined. Because you continued life itself and sewn the seed of better ages to come.
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