it's only a prank bro

const reduceToObj = (a,b) => {
  a[b[0]] = b[1]
  return a
}

const queryOnlyObj = (obj,query) => {
  return typeof obj === "object"?JOQL(obj, query):obj
}

const splitAtLast = (string,delim) => {
  const idx = string.lastIndexOf(delim)
  if (idx > 0){
    return [string.substring(0,idx),string.substring(idx+1)]
  } else {
    return [string]
  }
}

const JOQL = (obj, query) => {
  if(query === "" || !query) {
    return obj
  } else {
    let queryArray = query.split("/")
    let key = queryArray.splice(0,1)[0]
    let rest = queryArray.join("/")
    let type = key[0]
    let regex = key.substring(1)

    let lift, label ,output
    if (type === "}" || type === "{"){
      const entries = Object.entries(obj)
      const split = splitAtLast(regex,":")
      label = split[1]
      lift = label === "^"
      if (lift) label = false
      regex = split[0]
      regex = new RegExp(regex)
      output = entries.filter(([key]) => key.match(regex))
        .map(e => {
          if (label){
            return [e[1][label],queryOnlyObj(e[1],rest)]
          } else {
            return [e[0],queryOnlyObj(e[1],rest)]
          }
        })
        .filter(x=>x[1]!==undefined)
    }
    switch (type) {
      case "{" :
        //expand regex, need to use var here because there's only one scope per switch
        return output.reduce(reduceToObj, lift?[]:{})
        break
      case "}" :
        //collect regex
        //[[key,value],...]
        if (lift){
          return output.reduce((carry,obj) => {
            let entries = Object.entries(obj[1])
            entries.forEach(e => {
              if (!carry[e[0]]){
                carry[e[0]] = []
              }
              carry[e[0]].push(e[1])
            })
            return carry
          }, {})
        } else {
          return output.reduce((carry,obj) => {
            let entries = Object.entries(obj[1])
            entries.forEach(e => {
              if (!carry[e[0]]){
                carry[e[0]] = []
              }
              carry[e[0]].push({[obj[0]]:e[1]})
            })
            return carry
          }, {})
        }
        break
      default:
        return queryOnlyObj(obj[key],rest)
        break
    }
  }
}