<Kaeru> Nova is in their lab-- well, a lab they use often enough to have basically taken it over. They have two large projects set out on separate desks, one taking the form of complex machinery linked to a sleeping monitor and several vaguely piled stacks of paper and files. The other is only documents-- printouts scribbled over in messily-written notes of varying ink colors and pages worth of increasingly frustrated brainstorming. They wear
<Kaeru> sweatpants and a sleeveless hoodie, hair tied tightly with a length of red cord. They sit at one of the desks (2nd), concentrating and biting idle at the end of a red pen. A cup half full of bluish liquid sits nearby and at least a dozen wires connect to the inside of their left arm where it sits idle on the table.
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<Odocoileus> Eliza pokes her head in, and knocks on the door frame.
<Kaeru> They're facing to the side relative to her, focus down on their task. They don't look up, but they do react-- before she's even knocked, they're holding up the pen for her to wait, finishing whatever thought they're in the middle of.
<Odocoileus> She just stares and waits quietly
<Kaeru> There's a few moments before they huff lightly and click the pen, scribbling out one note and writing a new one. Then they look over enough to meet her eyes for a few seconds. "Sup," they say flatly, eyes going back to their notes.
<Odocoileus> She raises an eyebrow as she wanders over to them. "Nothing much." She pauses and looks over their shoulder. "How are you?"
<Kaeru> Their notes aren't in english-- all she gets is messy handwriting and frustrated-looking cross-outs, a few little diagrams. "Doin' fine." An idle response, flat.
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<Odocoileus> She mkves next to them and leans on the edge of thier desk, "what's bothering you? You seem distant.."
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<Kaeru> They glance over at where she leans on the desk, eyes staying for a moment too long to just be an automatic reaction to seeing movement. Then they look back at their notes. "Just workin' on somethin', sugar. Ain't made much progress is all."
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<Odocoileus> She tilts her head and leans in a little close to their face. "Is that all?"
<Kaeru> They lean away a fraction and give her an odd look. "What's got ya so sure it ain't?"
<Odocoileus> She shrugs and leans back, "i was just making sure."
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<Kaeru> They give a little huff and shift, rolling their shoulders stiffly. "Aight, yeah. Sure," they say idly, dropping their pen to down some of the blue drink before setting it back down.
<Odocoileus> She just sits there silently, staring at them.
<Kaeru> They seem tense, irritable as they slide a new paper over the one in front of them to look it over.
<Odocoileus> "did i do something to make you upset? Like, you seem pretty....i dunno." She rubs the back of her neck as she stares at the floor
<Kaeru> They shift, stretching a bit. They seem conflicted, uncertain. "Nah, nah. Just--" they stand up halfway and pull the wires from their arm in little bundles and without much care, flicking closed the panels and reattaching discarded armor before straightening up. "Just lots on my mind."
<Odocoileus> "you wanna talk bout it?"
<Kaeru> They turn and shift their attention to their other project, taking their drink with them and stretching their neck out as they walk. They move more smoothly, mechanically than usual, but don't seem to notice. "Nah. Not really."
<Odocoileus> She watches them closely. "should i just go?"
<Kaeru> They consider that, conflicted for a moment. "Uh. No," they say eventually, straightening up papers on the desk. "Not unless ya want to, 'course."
<Odocoileus> She walks up behind them and puts a hand on their back gently. "i wont go, unless you want me to, but.. i know something is up. You gonna be okay?"
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<Kaeru> They, strangely enough, don't startle at her touch-- they're usually on-edge enough that they would. They slump a fraction, sighing. "I, uh." They take a breath. "Saw someone again. The other day." A pause. "Someone I hadn't thought about in a while."
<Odocoileus> "it didnt go well?" She frowns a little
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<Kaeru> "No, no, it--" they chuckle a bit-- "It went fine. I just--" they lower their head a bit, hands on the edge of the desk. "I'd come to terms with one thing-- somethin' shitty, yea, but better, in the end. N' turns out..."
<Odocoileus> She tilts her head, "come to terms with what exactly?"
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<Kaeru> They shift, stiffening somewhat. "I don't-- fuck, somethin' stupid, aight?" Tension makes their tone snippy. "N' I thought I didn't want t' believe it, n' that's why I didn't for a while, but-- nah, I just fuckin /knew better/ n' convinced myself a' somethin' else 'cause I was scared." A half-pause. "'Cause I was fuckin' scared-- a goddamn coward."
<Odocoileus> She hugs them, "are you still scared?"
<Kaeru> They're stiff, little forced movements slow and a tiny shaky. She can feel the low hum of their core, slightly elevated and irregular. "No," they hiss, "No, I--" they cut themselves off and ball a metal fist, raising it a fraction and slamming it back into the desk, as if at war with themselves. A moment of silence. "Yes," they manage through their teeth. "Fuckin' terrified."
<Odocoileus> She rubs their back as she keeps hugging them, "its okay to be afraid...but.. you cant let it take over your life."
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<Kaeru> They swear under their breath and shake their head. "No, it's not," they reply stiffly. "It's not /okay/. Not for me. I don't-- /get/ to be afraid. I don't-- and I was /fine/ I was /managing/ and now she's back and she's real and she knows everything-- god, she knows /everything/." Their hands are balled up, pressed into the desk.
<Odocoileus> "whos is she?"
<Kaeru> "Nobody," they hiss, snappish. "She's /nobody./ She shouldn't even /exist/ she isn't fucking /real/ everything was fine before she--" they swear under their breath. "God /dammit/--!" They've hunched forward further, fingers digging into their palm and expression a twisted mask of conflict and anger over a long-buried terror that threatens to surface.
<Odocoileus> She backs off a little and looks at Nova with deep concern. "Nova...talk to me. What's going on?" She says quietly
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<Kaeru> They press their eyes closed and take a slow, deliberate breath, carefully uncurling their hands. "It's nothing," they say, tone softer and calmer, flat. "I'm fine. I just need a minute."
<Odocoileus> She nods quietly.
<Kaeru> They take a few moments to steady themselves, and when they open their eyes and look at her, they're normal; neutral, unphased. They attempt a casual sort of smirk, and manage, to a degree. But it's a thin neutrality-- not really calming themselves at all so much as pulling a rug over a hole in the floor and daring to stand on it because they don't see another choice.
<Odocoileus> She puts a hand over theirs, "whatever you are going through. You can always talk to me about that. You'd never let me get away with putting up more walls like that. But i won't pry."
<Kaeru> Conflict and hesitancy show in their eyes. "Yeah, I, uh--" they force their smile to return. "Yeah." A slight pause, and they seem to remember something. "Actually, there was something I wanted to show you. Something I've been working on."
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<Odocoileus> She raises an eyebrow. "Huh?"
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<Kaeru> They straighten up, seeming calmer now, glad to focus on something they understand, something they know how to talk about. They turn to the desk nearby and hit a few buttons on the keyboard there to wake the monitor. "I've been doin' some diggin'," they say as they begin initiating systems on the computer. It's linked up by dozens of wires to a large, complex device, a sensor of some sort-- which, in turn, has more connections that run
<Kaeru> away behind the table or sit idle, not plugged into anything else. "You're med-- you know enough t' know that biological signals-- senses-- are hard as hell t' screw with. Track, record, analyze, recreate."
<Kaeru> "Thing is, those signals ain't the same in me." A pause. "So do the same rules apply?"
<Odocoileus> She blinks a couple of times as she shifts her thoughts. "What do you mean?"
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<Kaeru> "I mean, if I figured out how," they reply, reaching over and flipping a switch on the sensor to turn it on and then going back to the monitor, "Could I record what I see like a video? Or what I hear, or feel? Could I get a computer to read it all, to study, to analyze and understand? Maybe even to fully recreate an experience-- not just for me, but for someone else?" A pause-- and then, slower, more deliberate: "Could I create a
<Kaeru> system that allowed somebody else to feel what I feel? To stand in my shoes?"
<Odocoileus> She crosses her arms, "that is possible." She thinks for a moment. " In theory, the electrical signals from the nerves could possibly be broken down in to a simple binary code."
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<Kaeru> "But see, that's the thing-- /they don't have to be/," they reply, a subtle excitement finding its way into their tone. "For me, the signals are already digitized, designed to be received and responded to. It's just a matter of figuring out how to read them-- and I think I did."
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<Odocoileus> She raises an eyebrow, "really now?"
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<Kaeru> (sorry) They nod. "Not everything, mind you-- sight alone's gonna be one hell of a hurdle. But nervous signals, that's relatively simple, really."
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<Odocoileus> "yeah, maybe i can help you test this out "
<Kaeru> They pause, turning to look at her. "How'dya mean?"
<Odocoileus> "i help Stephen out as a lab rat and im decent at tech."
<Odocoileus> *technical stuff
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<Kaeru> They blink. "Ya do realize whatcha offerin' here, right?" They raise an eyebrow.
<Odocoileus> She nods
<Kaeru> A pause. "Assumin' it works, you'd feel-- what I feel." A moment where they just search her expression. "After what you've seen've it, you'd--" --a confused little huff, questioning and almost baffled.
<Odocoileus> "i will be fine." She give them a soft smile. "Plus...i am a little curious."
<Kaeru> They just consider that for a long moment. "O-kay," they say finally. "Guess you could help me see 'f any a' this shit actually works."
<Odocoileus> "really?"
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<Kaeru> They shift, stretching their arms a bit. "I mean-- yeah, sure. 'S all got charge caps, so in theory it ain't gonna be able t' actually hurtcha-- or me, f' that matter, so. If you'd really want t', can't see why not."
<Odocoileus> "alright, just tell me what I need to do."
<Kaeru> They nod for a moment before snapping out of it and finishing a few small bits of setup, double-checking and cross-referencing against notes and documents nearby but eventually seeming satisfied. They grab the idle wires to the sensor and put their left arm face-up on the desk, flipping up thin armor panels to plug the new wires in. "Your arm, if you'd kindly," they say as they do so, nodding towards the area of the desk next to where
<Kaeru> they've put their own.
<Odocoileus> She rests her arm next to theirs.
<Kaeru> They glance at it for a quick second, registering the action but not commenting. They lean away to grab the back of a chair with their free hand, rolling it over to her before pulling out and plopping down on a stool themselves so they don't have to be constantly leaning down and forward to access the keyboard. They grab a few spare wires and plug them into free ports in their arm on one end and small black rubber patches on the other.
<Kaeru> They pick up the rubber squares-- and hesitate. They look at her. "N' you're sure 'bout this? 'Cause even if you are, these things--" they hold up the squares and wave them slightly-- "Ain't even got stick, really. Any time ya like, any reason, they'll come right off."
<Odocoileus> She nods, and gives em a thumbs up, "let do this!"
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<Kaeru> They chuckle lightly. "Aight then." They make a small change on the computer and add an extra window to the many displayed, all slowing numbers and measurements in real time that, without much context to go on, don't mean anything to her. But it's a safe bet the new window is, on some level, monitoring the patches-- especially considering that the only thing currently displayed brightly is 'OFFLINE'. They place one of the squares just
<Kaeru> below the base of her palm and the other a few inches below that. They make some small adjustment inside the paneling of their arm-- and that 'offline' changes to 'idle', along with some options and zeroed-out readings. Their hand hovers above the enter key-- they glance at her. "Last chance t' back out," they say, half joking.
<Odocoileus> "dooo it!"
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<Kaeru> They snrk and shake their head a little, grinning and turning back to the monitor. They hit the enter key.
<Kaeru>  The readouts on the monitor begin changing, and they watch them closely-- after a few moments, she feels something change. At first, it's nothing: not no change, but a lack of a sensation so constant it isn't registered as anything at all. But from that moment, in the lower half of one arm, she can't feel life-- the tiny feeling of one's pulse, the movement of bloodflow, the constant tension of ready muscles. Nothing at all, except
<Kaeru> the pure and unfiltered feeling of the desk against the back of his arm, strangely inconstant as if the feeling were mixed with pins and needles. Almost painful, like the signals can only be sent in terms of pain response, but not enough to cause more than discomfort and interest. It's cold, too, and aches in a dull, odd way. It feels as though she's aware of every tiny component-- every nerve, every tendon, every fiber of muscle. But
<Kaeru> what tips her off most that it's working is being able to feel-- actually /feel/-- where the wires connect to Nova's arm. It registers that not only have they found a way to transfer their own signals to a biological outsider-- but those signals /completely override/ her own. Replacing them, not mingling or mixing.
<Odocoileus> She goes wide eyed, and looks up at them. "....holy..shit."
<Kaeru> They tear their eyes away from the readings to look at her in vague concern. "Uh. That a good 'holy shit', or...?"
<Odocoileus> "its ../definitely/ working..its not bad..its just.."
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<Kaeru> They blink, raising an eyebrow. "Just...?"
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<Odocoileus> "i feel it, the wires, the blood flow. Im really impressed." She just looks at them in awe
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<Kaeru> Their concern fades. "Oh." A pause. "Guess I didn't think 'bout how weird it'd be t' you. It was--" they chuckle-- "Yea, was sure's hell a fuckin' trip f' me at first. Sorry I didn't warn ya, didn't really think of it."
<Odocoileus> She blinks and stares at her arm "weird..."
<Kaeru> They look at her arm, then up at her, over at the readings, back at her-- "What? Somethin' wrong, or just-- regular weird? 'Cause if it's just a 'weird' because it's bonk as hell t' go straight from full bio t' me right away that's hella justified."
<Odocoileus> "no just regular weird."
<Kaeru> They nod. "Yea, that's fair." A pause. "More I think 'bout it, fairer that gets. I never act'lly went straight from all t' nothin like that. Hell as it was, 'least I got some kinda in-between. N' I mean it's just ya arm but-- still. Gotta throw a person for a serious loop, that." They seem a bit-- awkward, maybe, or just unsure what to say?
<Odocoileus> "sorry." She blushes a little. "its just absolutely incredible."
<Kaeru> They look at her for a moment before a smile creeps across their face and they chuckle a bit. "Uuh. Not gonna lie, wasn't really expectin' that."
<Odocoileus> "yeah?"
<Kaeru> They shake their head, shrugging a bit. "I mean, nah, no," they admit. "Not in th' slightest, t' be honest. 'S. Not exactly somethin' I take particular pride in, whatcha gettin' a bit of there."
<Odocoileus> She rubs the back of her neck with her free hand. " Noo i get it sorry."
<Kaeru> They chuckle-- "Shit, no," they say, grinning at her. "Don't be sorry, sugar. Just caught me off guard a bit there is all." A pause, and a realization-- "Shit, I should prolly--" they look at the monitor, quickly surveying the various collections of ever-changing data. "Should prolly try n' act'lly test this a bit, huh."
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<Odocoileus> She nods
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<Kaeru> They glance at her when she nods, and then back to the readings, a smile creeping onto their face. "Aight-- okay. Okay, levels're lookin' picture perfect here, so that's good. 'S bloody great, 's what it is." A bit of excitement creeps into their tone at the acknowledgement of their success thus far. They grin at the screen, and she finds herself aware of-- not a pulse, no, but something. A whisper, soft and slow, wave-like in its
<Kaeru> constant rhythm. And like waves, it promises a visceral sort of power, restrained in this almost harmless-seeming feeling. But similar to a pulse it seems to draw from their excitement, rising to the point of power where she can perceive it. She knows immediately what it is, and it's a bit of a stun to realize-- she isn't sure of the real potential of the thing, but just the /suggestion/ it gives is enough to be awe-striking in an
<Kaeru> almost horrifying way. Anything that feels like that is something instinct says you should be /very afraid of/-- but it's potential, and not just for destruction. It's-- sheer /power/ is the only word that comes to mind.
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<Odocoileus> She narrows her eyes a little as she stare at her arm. She doesn't say anything right away
<Kaeru> They're busy glancing over notes for the best next move-- so it takes them a second to notice, but when they glance over at her, they do a bit of a double-take. "Uh- ey, you good? We can stop."
<Odocoileus> She waves them off and looks deep in thought, "nah you're good."
<Kaeru> They turn their head a bit back towards the computer, but they still look at her for a moment, a doubtful side-eye. "... You sure? Look like ya got somethin' on ya mind."
<Odocoileus> She smiles up at them a little, "its just an odd sensation."
<Kaeru> They look at her for another moment before seeming to shrug it off. "Yea, aight, fair. Fair." They glance back at the computer. "Aight-- I'm gonna have ya close your eyes here f' a minute, if ya don't mind-- or jus' look at me, whichever. Long's ya can't see my arm 'r yours, whatever works." They look over at her and smile a bit.