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Jul 31st, 2017
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  1. Chance hummed to himself, happily checking the personal ads in a…certain website within the hangar. As he continued his search, he stole a glance behind him at Jake, who was busy tinkering with some new thingamajig. As if he felt Chance’s stare, Jake looked up and stared back.
  2.  
  3. Jake frowned as he noticed what Chance was doing. “You know you shouldn’t be using that computer for something like that. What if there’s some news about something bad going on in the city and we can’t hear about it because you’re too busy netsurfing?”
  4.  
  5. Chance shrugged nonchalantly and pointed to his left. “I brought down the TV fer that. And besides, Callie would prolly call us if anything bad’s happenin’.” Having said that, he ignored Jake’s exasperated sigh and turned back to continued his search.
  6.  
  7. Jake looked to the direction Chance was pointing; sure enough, the TV that was usually in their living room was placed not too far away. But Jake recovered and quickly rallied at once. “But we need to use it to analyze something or check on the Turbokat’s blueprints.”
  8.  
  9. Chance didn’t even turn back and answered, “Not like we use it that much anyway.”
  10.  
  11. Jake rolled his eyes and decided to cut Chance some slack. Admittedly, he had watched some DVDs in the hangar’s computer and found it a thoroughly enjoyable experience (not that he’d ever tell Chance that). He turned back towards his prototype and began working on it again.
  12.  
  13. Chance, who was busy netsurfing again, asked, “What’cha working on there anyway?”
  14.  
  15. “It’s a new defensive mechanism for the Turbokat. It’s supposed to absorb laser attacks and then fire back he absorbed laser with five times the original force.” Jake explained, turning a screw here, twisting a wire there.
  16.  
  17. Grunting at Jake’s explanation, Chance scrolled down a list of personal ads. He then stopped as he noticed a familiar name. “No way…” He said softly.
  18.  
  19. “Of course, the problem is that we can’t try this without sending a really strong beam of laser somewhere and risk hitting something or someone,” Jake droned on.
  20. Still gaping in disbelief, Chance looked at the grinning picture of Dark Kat and read the short description:
  21.  
  22. “Yes, my name is Dark Kat. I’m a shy tomcat looking for that certain someone out there. I have no particular tastes, though an evil laugh or cackle is an extreme turn-on. I like plotting world domination, making other people miserable, cute little bunnies and long walks in the beach. I dislike those pesky SWAT Kats, goody-two-shoes, those pesky SWAT Kats, justice, porcelain items, Swiss cheese and those pesky SWAT Kats……”
  23.  
  24. “I just wish we could get the chance to try it out…” Jake said petulantly
  25.  
  26. Chance scrolled down and noticed an e-mail address. Was this just a hoax? It had to be. It just wasn’t possible. Chance heard Jake’s wish for them to try out his new defense mechanism and decided to try something out. Opening his e-mail account (thank god he avoided using his real name for his account name), he quickly typed:
  27.  
  28. From: Half of your friendly nemesis, T-Bone <romantico_bandito@katmail.com>
  29. To: The one whose e-mail I just found <the_ebilone@katmail.com>
  30. Subject: Disbelief and request
  31.  
  32. Dear Dork Kat,
  33.  
  34. Nice personal ad you’ve got. I didn’t know you were the typed who liked “cute little bunnies”. *smirk*
  35.  
  36. Anyway, I’m mailing you to ask a nice little request. My partner has recently added a load of defensive mechanisms to the Turbokat. However, its fatal flaw is that it can’t handle laser attacks and the resulting explosion might blow up half of Megakat City. So please, don’t use any lasers in your next attack. Just the thought of a badly damaged MKC (upon something we did) might be enough to crush my spirit.
  37.  
  38. Your bane (at least half of it),
  39. T-Bone
  40.  
  41. P.S. Hope you don’t mind calling myself your bane
  42.  
  43. Pressing the send button, Chance couldn’t help but smile. Yes, that would do nicely.
  44.  
  45.  
  46. Reading the e-mail, Dark Kat paused first in disbelief before cackling evilly, scaring a few Creeplings away. So it would crush that poor fool’s spirit, eh? Lasers would cause them to explode and they’d be the cause of more damage, eh?
  47.  
  48. Cackling evilly once more, he beckoned one of the ninja kats under his employ. “You! Have the evil minions prepare a device that will shoot powerful lasers! Post haste!” Yes, soon, those two fools will pay. Now, to reply to that foolish T-Bone.
  49.  
  50.  
  51. A few days later, Chance raised his eyebrows as he looked at the reply to his e-mail. This he did not expect.
  52.  
  53. From: I like crushing things <the_ebilone@katmail.com>
  54. To: The one who’s getting crushed <romantico_bandito@katmail.com>
  55. Subject: MWUAHAHAHAHA
  56.  
  57. Oh shut up, at least I’m not named after a piece of steak!
  58.  
  59. I’m about to hold MKC ransom with my new laser device and interfering will only damage it more and rush your spirit more. I win, SWAT Kat, I always win!!
  60.  
  61. Yours winningly,
  62. DK
  63.  
  64. P.S. I don’t mind you calling yourself my bane (at least half of it)
  65.  
  66. And soon enough, the klaxon for the alarm rang through the air. Chance turned around from the hangar’s computer to look at Jake who was busy changing into his uniform. “Hey Jake! You got that laser defense thingy all fixed?”
  67.  
  68. Jake zipped up his g-suit and looked back at the sitting form of Chance. “Yeah! It’s bound to fire back lasers with ten times more power now! Why?”
  69.  
  70. “Ah, nothing,” said Chance, barely hiding a smile as he donned his uniform.
  71.  
  72.  
  73. Both SWAT Kats looked down from the Turbokat at the latest robotic menace Dark Kat released into MKC, now blasted to smithereens.
  74.  
  75. “Wow. Who knew our defense mechanism packed a lotta punch?” Razor said in awe.
  76.  
  77. “Yeah,” T-Bone nodded fervently. “Lucky you had that defense mechanism installed, eh buddy?” He looked at Razor’s still confused expression and could barely suppress his laughter.
  78.  
  79. “About that, don’t you think it was really weird how ol’ DK attacked Megakat City just after we got that defense – “
  80.  
  81. Just then, the pair heard a very familiar voice sreeching from a megaphone. “You hotshot vigilantes!”
  82.  
  83. T-Bone and Razor looked to their left and saw Commander Feral standing outside the door of a hovering Enforcer chopper. Even from this distance there was no mistaking that scowl on his face which seems reserved just for the two SWAT Kats.
  84.  
  85. “Hey, commander!” T-Bone waved from his seat.
  86.  
  87. “You reckless miscreants! Look at the damage you caused!”
  88.  
  89. Inspiration struck T-Bone. Grinning widely, he said, “I know! And we feel really horrible! And thanks a lot! We couldn’t have made it through this crisis without your support!” Laughing at the look of incredulity on Commander Feral’s face, T-Bone pushed the throttle and headed back the hangar.
  90.  
  91. Behind him, Razor frowned. “What was that about?”
  92.  
  93. T-Bone shrugged, still chuckling to himself. “Eh, it’s nothing.”
  94.  
  95.  
  96. Dark Kat was fuming. All those resources spent on making that laser-shooting robot and it was destroyed by those SWAT Kats. He had just vented his feelings by punishing several unlucky minions, when he received a new e-mail
  97.  
  98. From: Guess Who Got Lucky? <romantico_bandito@katmail.com>
  99. To: You Really Should Try To Get Insurance For Your Death Machines <the_ebilone@katmail.com>
  100.  
  101.  
  102. Hey, what’s wrong with steak?!
  103.  
  104. Anyway, just writing to say how surprised I was that we got lucky this time. And by lucky, I meant avoiding damaging too much of MKC. There we were, dumbfounded at the carnage we helped cause, Razor looking at me with shock in his eyes when who should come than good ol’ Commander Feral? I gotta admit that without his pep talk, the two of us would’ve been totally crushed! Don’t ya just love having the emotional support coming from MKC’s incorruptible Commander? The only thing that could go wrong if he were to… Nah, I can’t say it! It’s too horrible to consider.
  105.  
  106. Well, I hate to cut this letter short but I have to run and practice. Vigilantes in shape have a higher chance kicking evil’s tail and all that.
  107.  
  108. Your “T-Bane”,
  109. T-Bone
  110.  
  111. P.S. You better not be getting any ideas about the Commander…and definitely not adjust his attitude to us to the complete opposite via brainwashing nanomachines.
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