KC Event Vid Script:

Video Title: THE HYPE IS REAL | Kantai Collection: Kancolle

Those of you who know me outside of YouTube will probably know that I am a massive weeb...and it all started with this game right here...

*slap/punch sound, Kancolle logo pops up, short segment from the "Weeaboo Song" plays*

Now for those of you who aren't anime freaks living in your parents' basement and/or have never heard of Kancolle, the basic gist is some freaky monsters called the Abyssals, who are equipped with weapons based on naval equipment the US used in WW2, are trying to take over the world; apparently, the only thing that can stop them is a bunch of teenage girls who somehow have the spirits of mostly Japanese WW2 ships, but there are a few German, Italian, US, and French ships thrown in the mix; these girls basically have handheld versions of fucking battleship guns...

*show picture of Kiyoshimo with Yamato's turrets*

The game is a little bit hard to get into if you're not from Japan, but I won't get into that today because that's not what this video is about.

Every season, Kancolle has an Event which introduces new mechanics, new "shipgirls", as they're called, and on top of that makes a strong attempt to crush the life from your soul.

*Dark Souls boss fight death, but the DS boss is replaced with a picture of Wo Kai and your character is replaced with a generic TTK art*

This event coming up is the Spring event, and with it comes some massive hype on my part.

For those of you that don't know, the ship that I've been interested in the most since I started studying WW2 some ten+ years ago is the German battleship Scharnhorst. Thanks to Kancolle, that interest now borders on an unhealthy obsession, and she isn't even in the damn game yet. Recent news has suggested the Spring event may include a "new abroad battleship" and the event has been hinted at as "a northern operation" which gets me excited for several reasons.

"Abroad battleship" means not Japanese, which means it could be German, like Scharnhorst. Scharnhorst operated in the North Sea, in the far northern reaches of Europe, for almost her entire lifetime. Even without these hints, however, Scharnhorst is mentioned in Bismarck's lines, and Bismarck has been in the game for almost two years now. In the last event of Winter 2017, the German submarine U-511 was also available as a drop, and before that in Fall 2016 the German cruiser Prinz Eugen was a key component and drop in the E-5 map; both of these could hint that a German ship is coming soon.

However, the new battleship could just as easily be South Dakota or Washington, American battleships. Also in the news was mentioned that the new battleship "does not have glasses". Kirishima is currently the only battleship in the game with glasses, and she was sunk in an engagement with South Dakota and Washington. Honestly, I would not be opposed to their introduction into the game either because I joined the game too late to get Iowa and they could be nice, cheaper alternatives.

I'm not quite sure what to expect out of this event. I've only participated in Fall 2016 so far. In that event we had FilthyFrank...I mean, Submarine Hime...

*show Submarine Hime, play FF's "ITAI YAMATE YO" soundbite from his "WEEABOOS" vid*

Yeah...you didn't want to have your volume turned up for that one...

Then there was the first French ship in the game which you got for clearing the third map...

*show Commandant Teste, play "omelette du fromage" soundbite*

And finally, for clearing the fifth and final map, US carrier CV-3 Saratoga, along with her massive rear end...

*damaged Saratoga art, slowly zoom in while playing "Bubble Butt"*

Unfortunately, I never got past the fourth map because I simply didn't have the resources and levels on my ships to keep going

This time is going to be different. I'll still only be doing Easy mode, but now my girls and resources I feel are close to being in a solid enough state to where I'm confident in clearing the entire map this time

*play Bee Movie clip "THIS TIME THIS TIME THIS TIME"*

What will the Kancolle Spring 2017 event bring us? Well, we've got a few weeks to find out, so those of you that play...

*start to play "LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLE" soundbite, randomly cut it out*

Shit that's copyrighted...anyways, join me next time when we discuss why some people love it when girls call them shitty...

*play Akebono's "KUSO TEITOKU" soundbite*