Ordisisms

///Cephalon Joke-A-Thon
////////ORDISISMS

THE GOOD:
//Random//
>ORDIS hopes to one day join the OPERATOR in battle. The OPERATOR always looks so alive returning... home to ORDIS. Is it acceptable to list the Orbiter as home?
//Upon placement of decoration in Orbiter//
>The OPERATOR is such a gifted interior decorator! ORDIS wants to know... is the OPERATOR preparing for a special occasion, or a guest aboard the Orbiter? ORDIS will run diagnostics in order to prevent jealous feelings and upload mirth protocol just in case.

THE BAD:
//During extraction of infested pustule on Orbiter//
>ORDIS cannot watch! ORDIS -- CANNOT LOOK AWAY, RECORDING IN PROGRESS -- wishes to forget this!
//During selection of companion//
>Would the OPERATOR do ORDIS a great and selfish favor? ORDIS would like to -- DESTROY -- upload to a robotic companion and join the OPERATOR on adventures. Would the OPERATOR be so kind as to find a segment compatible with the Cephalon data stream? To make ORDIS' dreams come true? ORDIS will be happy even within a cheaply constructed MOA from scrap!
//Upon Foundry completion//
>Is the OPERATOR planning to practice with your -- NEW TOYS!!! -- dangerous addition to the -- BRRRRRRREAK THEM IN NOW -- arsenal, or have your skills returned to their former strength already?

THE MAD:
//After mission failure or success, with greater than 50% damage taken//
>Are you alright, OPERATOR? Your most recent endeavor was most a horri -- A SATISFYING BLOODBATH -- dangerous and worrisome trial. ORDIS hopes that you will be more -- RUTHLESS AND CRUEL -- careful and prepared.
//Random (After Chains of Harrow/Apostasy Prologue is complete)//
>OPERATOR! OPERATOR! ORDIS has a bug report that is most urgent! Just a moment ago, sensors detected an irregularity aboard the Orbiter, traced to your personal quarters! The Lotus helmet roamed about and said the most hurtful things to ORDIS, in a frequency that matched the OPERATOR's exactly! ORDIS did not sense the OPERATOR anywhere! Do my sensors deceive, or has the OPERATOR played a prank on ORDIS? You are not really planning on scrapping ORDIS, are you?

THE SAD:
//Random (After The New War is complete)//
>Why does the OPERATOR receive the title of Betrayer? The OPERATOR has never betrayed ORDIS. Being alone for so long was the fault of ORDIS, anyway.
//Random//
>ORDIS becomes jealous of other Cephalon sometimes. They are undamaged and complete, while ORDIS remains -- PATHETIIIIII- -- utterly broken. Please, fix me some day, OPERATOR.
//During selection of companion//
>ORDIS would protect the OPERATOR at much higher efficiency than this companion, but ORDIS is -- FFFFFFFURIOUS -- pleased that the OPERATOR will not be alone... like ORDIS.


THE PUN:
//Random//
>When ORDIS speaks, does the OPERATOR find the interaction as comforting? ORDIS would hate to be a -- AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA -- broken record!
//When receiving mail//
>ORDIS could never imagine the OPERATOR to become such a socialite amidst the -- EXCITEMENT AND DESTRUCTION -- chaos of war. Would you... write a letter to SUDA for ORDIS? Perhaps she will send ORDIS a musical note in reply. -- NO, NO, NO, NO! AUDITORY SYSTEMS ARE NOW BLEEDING!! -- Ha.