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Say It's Only A Paper Moon

Chambyuskan Mar 4th, 2019 262 Never
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  1. “It’s easy! All ya gotta do is just take a deep breath and don’t think about your tail.” A short woman in a curve hugging black dress began. She gently patted her companion, a lanky blonde wearing a more modest red dress. The poor girl tried and failed to resist biting her long pretty nails every few minutes, looking disheveled, not helped by the fact that two large long fox ears would pop out of her head when her nervous got the best of her.
  2. “Easy enough for you to say, Babs! You can turn into just about anything “the girl pouted. ‘Babs’ mouth widened in not entirely sincere embarrassment
  3. “What? Babe, no. “she waved a gloved hand, as if to bat away the distasteful idea “I’m strictly from Dixie, all I can do is parlor tricks.” She laid a hand on her chest in performative humility as her eyes light up mischievously, with a song in them” You on the other hand, Dot, have gams for days and charm for miles” she smirked proudly.
  4. “Stop!!” Dot protested as she tried to cover as much of her shapely legs with her baggy dress as she could, turning red as a tomato.
  5. “No smoke” Babs continued “Old Tamamo Mae would look like a tired bobbysoxer next to you!” she bragged, getting into a bragging mood “You’d have all of Japan eatin’ out your hand! The emperor himself would be wrapped round that fluffy tail “she cooed, getting wrapped up herself in her own words “With a little help from me of course “she added slyly. Dot growing steadily redder with each second, kissed her friend impulsively on the cheek
  6. “Just a little help?” She whispered playfully. Babs grinned mischievously leaning closer and closer to Dot’s mouth “Your tail’s vanished “she muttered through puckered lips. Dot gasped turning around to check as Barbara chuckled “Told ya it would work  if you put your mind in a more... mmmm... profitable direction”. The mention of profit, made Dorothy pout cutely “Is that it? I’m just a meal ticket to you? A pretty young thing to dangle in front of the boys while the tawdry tanuki picks their pockets?” she sniffed.
  7. “That’s a bald-faced lie! “the tanuki in question objected, offended “Sometimes I dangle you in front of me for my own pleasure “she winked
  8. “It’s my fault for rewarding this bad behavior “she rolled her eyes sighing as her tail popped back into view “Damnit!” She cringed “not thinking about something is hard….” her face drooped
  9. “You just gotta get the knack for it!” Barbara encouraged, rolling her shoulders and seamlessly shifting from her current form to a spitting image of Lauren Bacall, a plucky little girl in a sundress and coonskin cap, before settling on a novelty raccoon shaped cuckoo clock with a wide painted grin and cartoon googly eyes that shifted with each tick.
  10. “Show off” Dot sniffed, genuinely put out this time.
  11.  
  12. Suddenly a car came slowly down the dirt road they were on. A mechanical bird popped out of the top of the clock squawking “Strudel’s here! Strudel’s here! Lover boy dead ahead!”
  13. “Oh, look at the time.” Dot noted dryly as the clock’s hands said it was “Pounce on clock” With a twirl Babs reverted back to her human form as she swiftly placed a stocking covered foot on the hood of the slow-moving car as it pushed up the rough road
  14. “Heya sugar! Are ya rationed?” She whistled giving a little salute
  15. “Christ, she could stare down a firing squad “Dot mumbled.
  16. It was dark enough to not see faces, but you could feel the driver’s scowl from a mile away. “I don’t have time for night women “he announced curtly.
  17.  “Aww “Babs cooed hopping on to the hood of the car and strutting back and forth across it” You’d let a poor girl walk home alone” she gestured passionately to Dot “have a heart mister “she frowned with heart wringing exaggeration.
  18. The man tilted his head annoyed “Yeah? How much is it to be a chaperone?”
  19. “For a gem like her?” Babs answered with ease “$150”The man gave Dot a look up and down
  20. “You inflate the worth of the merchandise, madam” he retorted, with a small grin.Babs scowled, raising her hand quickly, ready to strike but then stopped short, looking over the man’s heavy brown uniform coat
  21. ” You’re lucky soldier boy!” She grumbled “I can’t hit an enlisted man.” The driver suddenly shrinks back looking down at his feet
  22. “I’m not a soldier “he admitted as his cheeks heated up, well aware of the impression his outfit gave “I was too young to serve in the Pacific” he explained haltingly, under his breath.
  23. Babs smirked threateningly “Oh really! Take his coat Dot. We’ll teach him to commit fraudulent advertising!” The man stiffened as Dot suddenly appeared behind him, slipping off his coat
  24. “It’s only right sir, you can’t go around hoodwinking innocent girls “she chided
  25. “B-But!” The man stammered pulling his coat back as the  glint of a brass badge pinned to his coat caught Babs’ eye. She caught it up her in her hand. “Yoyodyne: Research and Development “she read aloud, snickering “Hey Dot! We got us a yoyo! All wound up from playing with Von Braun’s old toys eh,” she read the name on the ID badge” Paul? “Dot giggled rubbing his shoulders
  26. “No wonder he’s so cranky, tinkering with old Nazi junk could make anyone go nuts!” Paul frowned, cross at the mention of “Von Braun “and “Nazi” in the same breath
  27. “Yoyodyne is NOT a haven for ex Nazis “he murmured curtly
  28. “No one said it was, Herr commander” Babs purred in his ear, running her hands down his thick coat, as a small, round, green stone fell out of the inside pocket and hit the floor. He quickly bent over and scooped it up defensively, but then paused, cocking an eyebrow and looked through it at Babs and smiled excited
  29. “Say how much for a night with you?” He tried to ask casually “This “he showed the stone “says you have magical potential “he added nervously. Dot’s eyes widened but Babs just giggled
  30. “Oh yeah? 200.” She answered cockily. She had handed her the amount in crisp twenty-five-dollar bills. Babs rubbed her hands in glee “Alright!” She offered a handshake eagerly as Dot shook her head furiously, trying to dissuade her friend from such a rash bargain “It’s a deal!” She grinned wide.
  31. “Where’d you get a gadget like that “Dot asked gently, trying to change the subject
  32. “The head of Yoyodyne, General Growes,” he bragged.
  33. “Retired general, doll” she corrected, her polite tone tinged with enough contempt to distract him from viewing her through the stone.
  34. “Retired? She was practically court marshaled for being a commie. The great “human computer“ was being fed red punch cards “Babs brayed as Paul turned red himself
  35. “Russia was our ally! “he exploded “She can’t be faulted for working closely with an ally! The government revoked her clearance because they feared her. If she was a man things would’ve gone different...” he grumbled.
  36. “Careful hunny.” Dot kissed his cheek “Anger leads to wrinkles “Paul went from red to a gentle pink
  37. “Are you gonna tease me all night or can we go and start the tests” Paul said quickly, instantly regretting his particular choice of words.
  38. “Then I shouldn’t let you alone with Babs, “Tease” is her middle name!” The young woman giggled with her hands to her lips “Like letting a fox chaperone the hens” she winked knowingly, her fox ears almost popping out with self-satisfaction before she carefully pulled them back in, forcing the transformation to stabilize.
  39. “I can’t help it if you two make it so easy~” Babs murmured with a wolfish grin sizing Dot up.” Maybe the chickens shouldn’t deliver themselves fried ala king on a silver platter, hm? “she leaned closer “What else is a poor fox to do?” She cooed against Dot’s soft cheek, eyes sparkling.” I can’t help it if the fish keep biting “she told Paul flashing sympathetic puppy dog eyes
  40. “They bite alright, where they end up biting most of the time you, I’m too polite to say.” Dot muttered coolly, trying to remain composed. Babs promptly turned around, wiggling her large, shapely rear on her companion
  41. “You know exactly where they like to bite. “She chuckled conspiratorially. Heat radiated off Paul’s ears
  42. “Sh-Should I call the vice squad? “what started out as another implied threat turned into a nervous offer as it came out of his mouth
  43. “That might be the best thing for her, sugar” Dot muttered in agreement as Babs bounded into the passenger seat of the open top car
  44. ” Come on, you drip! We’re wasting time being all moony eyed. “with a sudden jerk of attention Paul frowned and started the car, mumbling under his breath.
  45. “I’ll be around to watch your back.” Dot whispered solemnly
  46. “As if you could tear your eyes away from it.” retorted Babs as the car sped back up the road, leaving the stammering kitsune in its dust.
  47.  
  48. As they drove Paul pulled up a strange Yoyodyne made “radio phone “out of the front of the car. It was a small speaker attached to the floor of the car with a thick black wire. “Tell miss Growes I’ve discovered someone with superhuman potential.” he informed the other line. Babs took this opportunity to cuddle up resting her head on his shoulder
  49. “This isn’t a matinee date. “he moved his shoulder away
  50. “But it’s cold.” She said gently
  51. “Oh... take my heavy coat than “he said embarrassed he misinterpreted her gesture
  52. “I’d love to take your coat!” Her eyes sparkled avariciously. He tugged his coat back onto his shoulders quickly
  53. “As you were.” Paul muttered. Babs smirked victoriously
  54. “So what kinda tests you running here”
  55. “Well first we’ll measure your heartrate, then your reflexes.” Babs nodded along
  56. “Then we neck.” She interjected casually
  57. “Ahem.” Paul coughed “We run some memory tests ...”
  58. “Then, I paint your face dark red “she added, popping her lipstick covered lips for emphasis
  59. “Lastly a stamina exam.” He continued flustered
  60. “Oh great, so we move up to screwing “
  61. “Absolutely not!” Paul seethed.
  62. She grinned
  63. “Not to contradict ya, ace, but how’s this supposed to prove I’m magic? At least if you screwed me, you’d definitely believe I’m magic”
  64. Paul sighed “I don’t know... there’s no scientific test for it. at least any one with scholarly weight “But I believe magic and magical creatures exist!” He shook his head “When I was little I slipped after a heavy rain and fell into a pond. I hit my head on a rock near the lake’s edge and plummeted in. I couldn’t swim and thought “Welp this is where I die ““his frown deepened at the painful memory “A fine career. A whole five years before it’s through” he joked feebly trying to smile “But then ... this lady helped push me to the surface. She had blue scaly skin and long dark violet hair and, and the most beautiful brown eyes you’ve ever seen! “
  65. “A river spirit “Babs nodded knowingly
  66. “Exactly! “his face lit up with a genuine smile “People I tell either think I’m crazy or are cracked themselves... If I’m honest, being with her was the one time I really felt at ease” he dropped his voice as if admitting a dark secret as Babs began to drum on her belly while keeping one careful eye on her conflicted little client “ and I feel like if Yoyodyne captures that nice safe feeling “ his foot began to ease off the gas as his eyes glazed over, giving over to her steady drumming “ we can use it to take away the Soviet’s power. Because communism is driven by panic, you know. Mass hysteria.” he looked around the straight dirt road, seemingly confused about where to go as Babs drumming became more and more insistent
  67. “Hunny? This question is very important. Were you ever attracted to the spirit that rescued you?” She asked in a soothing voice. Paul blinked seemingly waking up from his trance but gave a quick sheepish nod
  68. “Good.” Babs grinned wide “I have a plan that might help. Listen... listen.” She chanted, drumming on her belly harder and harder
  69.  
  70. “Hey! Are you listening?” A voice asked him.  Paul snapped to life. He found himself in a kitchen with blue and white wallpaper, before a table piled with soft green jello salads, a huge bowl of tomato basil soup, a platter of mouth-watering pork roast and trays of decoratively piled sweet rolls. In front of him, frowning impatiently, was his beautiful wife, Barbara, dressed in a checkered dress with her hair in a bun.
  71. “Are you trying to feed an army, Babs ?!” He muttered shocked at the sheer volume of food before him
  72. “Welcome back to the land of the living, sweetheart “she muttered dryly kissing his forehead “and since your idea of lunch is a black coffee, I have to make sure you get your nutrients somehow “she fed him a spoonful of the vegetable flavored gelatin. He chewed on it carefully “I’ve just been so busy. We’re about to make a breakthrough in the magic project.” he began
  73. “Doll.” She interrupted sharply “am I gonna have to use the magic paw?”
  74. Paul blinked confused “The what?” the world began to blur.
  75. Fuzzy round ears popped out of his wife’s lovely head. Her arms and legs developed raccoon fur. A tail blossomed naturally from her curvy bottom. Her hands morphed into soft squishy paws. Paul’s eyes widened
  76. “ The magic paw that takes all your troubles away” she sighed as she eased his shoulders “ Feel it sopping up all that stress?” she rested his head against her warm breasts “ All those stresses disappearing, huh?” she kissed the top of his head” I know you find my true form scary and unsexy ..” she began
  77. “I don’t find it scary. You know that” he leaned back and kissed under her “mask” “or do I have to strip down give you another thorough demonstration “he offered his voice full of implication.” Alert the papers!” he teased as a blush formed under her mask and she went quiet “Local Ringtail Struck Speechless - public suggests it’s a taste of her own medicine.” He winked, donning a newsreel voice. “We just can’t have sex because we can’t have kids because- “he began apologetically
  78. “- I just had to show your stupid puppy dog face magic” she grumbled “You know my cousins are very wealthy. You don’t HAVE to work... I’ve pulled more money than your paycheck playing the stocks alone some weeks.” She frowned
  79. “It’s not about the money, it’s about doing my part to keep America safe and on top. Yoyodyne makes the hardware to make that happen “he explained patiently “the Soviets have us surrounded. “a mischievous glint went off in Babs’ eye
  80. “You know what else helps beat the Reds? Babies. “she said seriously, straddling his lap, spinning around to face him” Babies to be the soldiers.” She kissed his neck persuasively” Babies to work in the factories.  Babies to make steel “she kissed all over his face, rocking back and forth on his lap
  81. “Babies can’t do labor, love, they’re babies” he kissed her nose
  82. “SHUT UP AND BE PATRIOTIC “she kissed him wildly, staining whatever skin she could find
  83. “You goof!” He moaned gently “Are you getting hot and bothered by the thought of economic prosperity?” her skills of logic and persuasion went right out the window when she got turned on. She said the most absurd things during these heavy petting sessions.
  84. “You’re damn straight angel face!!” Her voice cracked as she let out a squeaky gasp
  85.  
  86. And the illusion popped like a soap bubble leaving them both back in the car
  87. “... Christ!” Babs muttered as Paul snapped out his trance “You know “she said, placing a paw on his shoulder, still in her tanuki form “you need to be less distracting “she winked sheepishly.
  88. “You little sneak! “Paul fumed “you hypnotized me!” he quickly bound her paws in the cord of the car’s radio phone, before speaking into the phone “Alert General Growes! I found a nonhuman creature! And will be delivering her for examination” he barked to the confused operator
  89. Babs chuckled” You think this will hold me?” She tried to shift the size of her hands to escape, each time not quite managing to maintain the right size. She realized with horror that what Dot said was true. It WAS difficult not to think about something. The color drained from her face “They’re gonna toss me in a cage... and I’ll never get out” she murmured tonelessly “I’ll be alone” her breathing sped up as she began to hyperventilate. As he looked over Paul’s expression began to soften.
  90. “What? No! No!” Paul said quickly as she curled in a fluffy ball
  91. “Miss Growes would never do that!” He reassured her, anxious at how panicked she got. He hugged her soothingly petting her ears and tail trying to be comforting “We just need your help ...” She smiled sadly
  92. “I have cousins in freak shows you know” she chuckled nervously
  93. Paul looked down and then looked her in the eyes “I’ll protect you.” He said determinedly
  94. Babs felt her cheeks heat up” Th-that ain’t my style. ya know” they both stared at each other conflicted until a Jeep shone its headlights at them. A tall woman in a beige uniform slid her long legs out, strode over and yanked Babs out with a tug of her long powerful arms, before grabbing her by the ears and shaking her violently “Well I’ll be damned! “She grinned “I thought you’d given up and hired a whore to put on a raccoon get up!” She chuckled shaking her head. Paul stepped out mechanically into the middle of the road and had gone completely pale, barely able to shake his head “N-No! Miss Growes! I didn’t think you’d take such a personal interest in the project to drive down her yourself “He muttered stunned” I didn’t even think anyone outside of my immediate superiors knew about it”
  95. “I was about to cancel your funding” she announced casually, tossing Babs up like a ball before stowing her under her powerful arm. Babs turned red with shame but seemed calmer with the situation now” But I guess it’ll be another late-night meeting with the brass” she paused to spit, as Paul looked confused. He didn’t expect the Hero of the Pacific to sound like John Wayne. Maybe the newsreels distorted her voice? “Miss Growes? This fell out of your pocket after a meeting.” He handed back the odd green stone “I never got a chance to give it to you, because you were so busy” he said lying to try and find a way to describe how he acquired the stone that didn’t paint him as a weird fan boy. “It can help you see the presence of...” Growes took it and chucked it into the nearby brush
  96. “It was just a bottle cap!” She guffawed “You didn’t HAVE to hold onto it” Paul nodded quickly
  97. “Sure!” He grinned nervously, eager to have a way to get out of the awkward topic even if it meant losing a precious item
  98. “I’ll need to take your car, travels easier through dirt” Growes noted, tossing him her keys as she turned away to get in his car. Paul kept nodding mechanically until he noticed Growes suddenly sprout a fox tail and the car keys change to mud “The raccoons always have foxes to help them” he muttered realizing as he remembered an illustration of a fox and raccoon stealing a big wooden barrel of porridge from a book of folk legends. That accusation, vague as it was, was enough to spook Dot into her true form, her long fox ears poking straight up “It was you! You made me lose the stone, you bitch, for nothing!” He seethed
  99. “That’s none of my concern” Dot retorted haughtily
  100. “I’ll turn you into a pelt, Fox! “Paul roared, readying himself to lunge, but was distracted from that when his wallet hit him in the face
  101. “That ain’t the only thing ya lost there, slick “taunted Babs, greedily clutching the roll of bills that was inside. She had already scrambled back into the passenger seat of his car. Paul charged towards her but felt a poke on his shoulder. He turned only to find himself inches from a camera lens. Dot had swiped the high-powered camera Paul planned to use to document his findings from the car
  102. “Smile! “she sang, setting off the blinding flash right in his face. He staggered back dizzily until he felt something heavy slam into his face. Babs had used the long cord to sling the heavy radio phone at his head knocking him out cold.
  103. “... That might’ve been overdoing it” Dot frowned.
  104. “Oh yeah!” Babs said suddenly, remembering “I was totally faking crying back there” she told his knocked-out form in case he got the wrong impression.
  105.  
  106.  
  107. “Welp! Tonight, didn’t pan out but it did give us a VERY promising lead! The guy’s loaded and has the makings of a true monster fucker if we keep working on him!” Babs informed Dot as she drove Paul’s car back to the hotel they were staying at.
  108. “That’s great sweetheart, really “Dot yawned, trying to patiently listen to her excitedly rambles” but no more playing night walkers, huh? Let’s play some classier roles next hustle. It’s not like you can’t afford to play roles that require you to throw around money and mix with a higher breed of company I mean, we’re far from broke.”
  109. “You can ALWAYS make more money “Babs said simply” and it ain’t that bad, Paul has to rate at least a little “Dot chuckled at how quickly she switched from her old favorite topic to her new favorite topic.” I can feel it in my bones, he’s a mark that’ll pay dividends “she rubbed her paws together.
  110. Dot grinned slyly “Hmmm if I recall correctly, that’s exactly what I overheard you say about me, when we first met. If you keep finding more marks like that all us dividends are gonna leave your bed pretty cramped “she warned laughing.
  111. For the second time that night Babs was left completely red and speechless
  112.  
  113. “.... And then they broke the radio phone over my head.” Paul continued sitting across the desk from miss Growes. The real one this time. When he stumbled back to Yoyodyne, disheveled and with a black eye and his wallet missing, it was all Growes could do to give him an audience.
  114. “Well, they must’ve felt bad for that, because they left all those photos for evidence “she added sympathetically leaning closer as she spread the photos of the girls appearing as five-foot-tall bipedal raccoons and foxes this time so no one could say they weren’t creatures of legend.
  115. “Or maybe they were just messing with me again” he grumbles blushing at all the suggestive poses they took.
  116. Growes folded her hands “I’ll unofficially pass on to your confidential information that was unofficially passed on to me. Creatures like these girls exist. Here and abroad. Soviet “Anti superstition leagues “round up such people and send them into exile. Similar leagues have popped up in China acting with even greater brutality. A few odd creatures milling about in the vast Eurasian wastes is one thing. China’s rural areas crawling with these types of people, so they’ve been dragged in to the guerrilla war. “she lectured.
  117. “That’s horrible! “Paul muttered stunned “What can we do?”
  118. “We can’t justify doing much. Poking our head in to save a few panda bears would lead to war. “she noted grimly “However since their existence points to a power far older than communism or even modern democracy, most anticommunist regimes look on those folks fondly. As I’m sure I don’t need to tell you America tends to materially support said regimes” She chuckled dryly “However America hasn’t been gung-ho about getting into bed with these creatures as some of our allies have, metaphorically speaking of course!” she said quickly. Paul listened enraptured, not catching her slip.” I’ll spare you the explanation of the history of witch burnings and demonic panics in this country and just leave it at this. The government isn’t giving funding to such research, so I can’t justify giving funding to such research.” Paul frowned “Now I’ll have my secretary drive you to the doctor to have a look at that knot on your head. “she finished concerned
  119. “Ma’am it’s fine.” Paul began as he stood up
  120. “They broke a twenty-pound phone on your head, you should see a doctor “She insisted seriously, shunting him into her secretary’s office with her tall muscular frame
  121. “Yes ma’am “he answered sheepishly shutting the door.
  122. The hakutaku returned to her desk, letting her horns show. It was troubling, seeing what was happening in her ancestral homeland, and frustrating, seeing America’s distaste for her kind. The crowned heads of Europe all had some degree of monster blood. But according to America, fluffy tails were a “snare of Satan”. She hated this position, a courtesy by some well-placed friends (all of whom met their wives or husbands thanks to her) to make sure she was secure. It was mind numbing. Fortunately, Paul gave her a project with a larger scope. Not his match making (the tanuki and kitsune will have hauled him off before his twentieth birthday) but match making on a much wider scale. Yoyodyne would make fertile ground to start, all she’d have to do is stop being subtle. Introduce some of the single men in the company to her “friends”. Those in inter species relationships were extremely evangelical about the benefits of those types of pairings. Soon their friends would all be married. Call her a subversive and force her to waste her talents on menial work? She was determined to make sure those that accused her all lived in a world where their grandchildren all had nice. Fluffy. Tails.
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