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  1. Authors Note;
  2.  
  3. I am writing this novel because I am a fan of . However its become clear to me that the creators of it have got some things wrong and clearly don't care about making it good. I am talking mostly of "the problem" with Jiufu and Alex.Also a lot of the sex is censored with many of the intercourse's that happened edited out completely.(ie, Nyaruko and Jiufu having furgling, that time with Nyaruko doing it with Dennis Do and Ben watching, etc.)
  4. This fic is my attempt to correct that.
  5. By supporting this fic I hope to get a group of elite writers working with this new canon and to establish this as the truth of what actually happened. Hopefully the original creators will see the demand and make this official. Perhaps even pay us because we are fixing their mistakes.
  6. If you wish to join my new canon, feel free to write your own story but you must submit it to me for approval. You can use my email ;
  7. theRealwriter@gattormail.com
  8. You can also send constructive reviews there, but no petty criticisms. If I get motivations muddled,its because my cat distracted me.
  9. Also, if you don't like my story you don't have to have read it.
  10.  
  11. Anyway, and now on with my superior story of how things actually happened;
  12. ---
  13. Ben stopped and gazed into space.
  14. Oh no.
  15. It was happening; He couldn't help thinking about Dennis Do again. He tried not too. Desperate to avoid the thoughts that could not be, no, - would not be- held back.
  16. But like dozens of unstoppable horses they came creeping forward till they filled His brain;
  17.  
  18. Dennis Dos smile shined like diamonds, as impressive as a diplodocus, it filled the cave network and Ben was helplessly but willingly absorbed into them.
  19.  
  20. Dennis Dos eyes were like baseballs.If you rolled them they would go quite far.
  21. (Almost as lovely as mine. lol!/AN)
  22. Dennis Dos legs were like a diplodocus. Straight and tight.
  23. (Mine are best though. Lol!/AN)
  24. Dennis Dos chest was like a Mercenaryss. Powerful and impossible to ignore.
  25. (For the purposes of this story, I am going to pretend that Dennis Dos arnt as good as mine/AN)
  26.  
  27. How could Ben not be helpless in the face of that?.
  28. I mean, sure, Ben and Dennis Do had sex with eachother before, when they met at a club once, but it was just a casual thing. One of many that night.
  29. Before things got too messy Ben snapped out of it. But the thoughts of Dennis Do would be back. Would He be able to resist next time?
  30. ---
  31. It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...it was sexy times!
  32. ---
  33. Interlude:
  34. Ben was finding it really hard to concentrate at this movement his thoughts kept trying to think of Dennis Do. Despite what was happening, it was hard to focus!
  35. ----
  36. My name is Ben.
  37.  
  38. From the moment I was born, I remembered I was trained as an assassin.
  39.  
  40. It was tough, but my master was a stern but just master.
  41.  
  42. Still, sometimes I would lay awake in bed and hope that one day, I would find my parents and that we could be a family together again. My master told me that if I survive my first mission, he would help me find my parents.
  43.  
  44. And so I did my first mission (it was easily, it only required me to kill a family of two with a carbomb). And so my master tried to find my parents. But they were already dead.
  45.  
  46. I realized I was all alone in the world.
  47. I was all alone now, I thought back to happier times...
  48. ...but it didn't change the fact I was now alone. All alone.
  49. All alone except me and my master.
  50.  
  51. My master's organisation was employed by an illustrious person: Nyaruko. And one day I came back from school.
  52. I came into the assassin's iggloo
  53. "Master," I said, "I'm sooo tired of having to go to school. Everyone's a poser there."
  54. "Hush, little child," he said, "I have a new mission for you!"
  55. "Oooh great!" I said with joy, "I'll get right on it!"
  56.  
  57. "It is very simple," the master said as he showed me the map of the cave I had to infiltrate.
  58. "First, you need to say a passphrase to a guard there. When he says Genesis, you say Dropping Like Flies."
  59. "Alright I can do that," I said as I wrote it down.
  60. "And then you need to sneak through the hallways, into the kitchen where a maid has prepared a poisonous Ethonol.
  61. "Right, easy," I said.
  62. "And then you need to give it to the President, and then it will kill him."
  63. "The President?! I said surprised.
  64. "Yes, we are contracted to kill the President."
  65. "But President Dennis Do is a great president!"
  66. "Hush little boy. You have been trained as an assassin to kill people. This must be done."
  67. "Ok Master," I said in great turmoil. Because the Master didnt know that... in fact.... I was in love with Dennis Do
  68. And so I prepared my mission. I felt really bad. Dennis Do and I had only met each other once. It was at prom-night. I was dressed maginicently. And Dennis Do... gosh, now that I think of Dennis Do my heart starts beating more rapidly.
  69. But anyway, so I met Dennis Do there.
  70. "Hello," I said.
  71. "You look nice," Dennis Do said.
  72. "THank you, you look great too," I said.
  73. "Oh, I don't mean your clothes," Dennis Do said, "I mean your soul. I can look into your soul. That's my power. And I see you are unlike anyone else here."
  74. "Everyone else here are priks and posers," I said.
  75. "Yes, but you're even more special. Maybe... maybe..." Dennis Do said.
  76. "Maybe what?" I said. I remember my heart beating very rapidly then.
  77. "Maybe you fullfill the prophecy!"
  78. "The propecy?!" I said with anxienty.
  79. "Yes, the propecy. It states that I should mary the person who fulfills the prophecy."
  80. "Omygod," I said.
  81. "Iknoright!" Dennis Do said.
  82. "But how do you know who fulfills the prophecy?"
  83. "When they have the power of yakakai-ing."
  84. Oh gosh, I remember myself thking back then. Master told me never to tell anyone, but I did in fact have yakakai-ing!
  85. "I don't know anything about that," I said.
  86. "Oh well," said Dennis Do, "too bad. Because you, Ben, you look like exactly the sort of person I'd love to marry."
  87. And then the President left.
  88.  
  89. What will I do now? I thought when I did the things my master told me to.
  90. Shall I fulfill my master's obligation, or shall I show Dennis Do that I am the one they're destined to marry?
  91.  
  92. (A/N OMG sooooo romantic!)
  93. ---
  94. And then, at the worst possible moment. It happened. Again.
  95. Ben gazed at Dennis Do.
  96. It was impossible to resist this time. Like a stegosaurus Ben was pulled towards Dennis Do. It was a like ambush in a war. It was a like a slingshot piercing through His heart. (and other lower regions of the body) It was a like magnets.
  97. There was No resisting. No mercy. No Pants. No longer anything else mattered.
  98.  
  99. Dennis Do looked shocked and then...and then...not shocked. She had known all along.
  100. Of course. How could Ben have been so stupid? Those long looks at eachother,the times they gazed at the stars together, the candle lit dinners. The steamy showers.. The non stop sex.
  101. It wasn't just friendship. It never was. It was more and Dennis Do had known all along.
  102. "I knew" Dennis Do said.
  103. "oh" Ben said, realizing all this for the first time.
  104. But there was more...Dennis Do wasn't pulling away. She was pushing tighter. Holding Ben like a wild gorilla.
  105. At some point their clothes came off.
  106. They got ripped in the process of the pashioning
  107. He didn't care. This is what He had needed for so long. too long. May. maybe more.
  108. But this was now now.
  109. Ben and Dennis Do together at last!
  110. They canoddled like lovers and made love with their naughty bits.
  111. They took it in turns inserting their bits into eachother. Ben inserted his bit into Dennis Do. Then Dennis Do inserted her bit into Ben. They repeated this a few times.(Toys were used)
  112.  
  113.  
  114. Afterwards (when they had finished cleaning their bits)they looked at eachother longingly.
  115. But they knew they must leave.
  116. They didn't want anyone to see.
  117.  
  118. Ben took one last look at Dennis Do.
  119. "Goodbye my snuggly one"
  120. "Love you too, my one and only Ben"
  121.  
  122. And then they departed.
  123. ---
  124. So I sneaked in and did what the Master told me to do. It was easy.
  125.  
  126. But when I came to the room with the President, I hesitated. I could not put the poisonous gin & tonic down. Dennis Do was just too dear to me! I loved Dennis Do.
  127.  
  128. But that moment of doubt became my downfall. As the President turned around and looked me right in the eyes.
  129. Ben?, Dennis Do said.
  130.  
  131. My breath stopped, my heart was about to explode and my eyes welled up.
  132. "It's not what you think!" I said.
  133. But of course it was what Dennis Do thought. I was an assassin. I had to accept it.
  134.  
  135. "Oh my god, Ben, not you!" Dennis Do cried out. Taers welled up in her eyes and soon they came flooding down her cheek.
  136. "Nooooo," the President said, "I LOVED YOU!" (A/N ZOMG *swoon* Amirite?!)
  137. "I LOVE YOU TOO," I cried out while I threw the poisonous wine on the floor.
  138. "LET'S BE TOGETHER FOR ALWAYS."
  139. "OK!"
  140. "It is Nyaruko who is behind this assassination!
  141.  
  142.  
  143. And so the President told the army to arrest Nyaruko.
  144. "I love you so much," said President Dennis Do.
  145. "I love you too." I said.
  146. BLAM BLAM!
  147.  
  148. I looked down on my chest and saw blood welling up from my chest.
  149. "NOOOOOO," said the president!
  150. One of the guards had shot me!
  151.  
  152. Urgh," I said, "HhuuuuuI love you!"
  153. "I love you toooo!" said Dennis Do and rushed over to me. "I don't want to live without you!!!"
  154. "Don't worry, I'll get better..." I said as I felt the life leaving me.
  155. "Nooohoooohoooo," said Dennis Do
  156. "At least I'll die," I said with my last breath, "knowing that someone loved me."
  157. "HuhhHUHUHHUH," cried Dennis Do.
  158.  
  159. And that day became known in the country as the Day Of Love, remembering the death of President Dennis Do's one true love.Me.
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