I love the feeling of forgetting of your body and the concrete world around you (not the aesthetic world though)
becoming immersed in thought and feeling
having those experiences become the world and everything there is to you

I hate regaining awareness
of feeling alert again
of feeling my body in the spare around myself



why did I break so easily
why did I react so drastically when it happened
why was I always so quick to give up
I became that depression
I never had anything truly concrete before it
I did have that care for experience before but it was never something I was able to actualize, to put into real words
I never had anything else