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  1. Jun 23, 2019, 10:09 PM
  2. Me: I took some time to think before I wrote this over, and also because I went out a lot today to go eat for lunch and dinner lel
  3. I’m glad we’re done talking about this oof it escalated into something bad
  4. thanks for understanding/forgiving, but I still hope that you guys can be friends again. I just hope in the future you can trust me more when I’m trying to helpI also wanna be happy and I just don’t like arguing with you, but it was hard to give you a clarification when you assumed things oof
  5. 👍1
  6. Jun 25, 2019, 7:30 PM
  7. Me: New event 😮
  8. Jun 25, 2019, 9:35 PM
  9. Her: I have been feeling sad, disrespected, and undervalued for a while now. It seems as if I am the only one putting effort in. Even so, you had not remembered our plans for today despite being reminded. I believe I should not be responsible to remind you a second time, considering I initiated and arranged this before exams. It seems to me that you think this is okay, but I believe that I deserve to be told about any changes of plans. I want a relationship where we are able to respect and care for each other equally as much. I want to be treated as a priority, and I believe you would like the same. Most importantly I want the both of us to be happy being with each other, so what do you want/expect from this relationship? Are you happy with our relationship? Because I can assure you I am not. I don’t want to be taken for granted because I care too much, or more than you do. We have a lot to fix, but I am willing to make changes. This is my final shot, so I hope you are willing to as well.
  10. Jun 26, 2019, 1:31 AM
  11. Me: I am sorry that I made you feel sad, disrespected, and undervalued during this time, I know that once again it's because of miscommunication between the both of us. I kinda also see it the same way where I feel like i'm putting a lot more effort in like when I'm apologizing. I took a long time to think into that to try to be as clear as possible. I didn't forget about the plans to go see the movie, I won't justify myself for ditching since it wasn't the right thing to do. Honestly I was waiting for 2 days for a reply but all you sent was a "thumbs up reaction". I felt I needed more context or any reply of some sort but you didn't, so I assumed you were mad at me and didn't want me to come. Also you didn't mention it for a second time so it gave me the impression that you might have not cared about our plans either. That's something we can work on, after an arguement things aren't clear to me and I don't really fully know how you feel, it's helpful to bring it up again to show that you want to go, instead of leaving me on edge. Ignoring me won't help, I'm always here to talk but I don't know when you're not mad so it's hard to talk to you sometimes. Anyways, I'm sorry that i didn't communicate to you that i wasn't going to go to the movies, which is completely on me, but I hope you understand how I felt. Yeah, I also agree that I want a relationship where we can respect and care for each other equally, but I feel as if you just enjoy arguing with me, which makes me feel sad. Like there's a reason I don't like arguing and it's not just being "sad" it's actually feeling depressed. I do feel as though I treat you as a priority, but it's important to me that you understand that I have my own plans and schedules that I follow everyday, these plans and schedules are really non negotiable for example things such as family and my job schedule. t times, if I don't reply right away, it's not meant to ignore you. It's probably me eating, sleeping, or I was too busy/didn't see the message. Obviously, there are ups and downs to relationships and I hope we can get through this argument so that our relationship together is stronger for the future if we work through it. To answer your question about what I want/expect, I just want this relationship to last long and to be happy. I also would appreciate it if we trusted each other more and communicated, and honestly I just want to end arguments that were already resolved. Hopefully after this, things end on a good note. Anyways, despite this argument everything else about this relationship makes me happy. But I just need you to understand that sometimes when you bring up old problems from the past that it makes me feel bad and sad about myself; and sometimes it really does get blown out of proportion. Besides the arguments that we have had together, I do enjoy spending time talking, playing league, and small things like going to get iced coffee with you from tims/mcdonalds. But also for the priority question, I do focus on a lot of things, I try to balance out my work, love, and friend life, but I will try to put you on the top of my list and give you more attention from now on. So, I'm sorry that you feel this way about our relationship and I hope that you can be more open towards why you feel this way even though you said you are currently not satisfied with our relationship, I hope that we can fix that in the future so it doesn't happen again :smiley: Also, I'm sorry that I made you feel as though I took you for granted and for that I am really sorry for, and hope that you know I don't mean to especially not someone that cares a lot. Thanks for letting me know how you feel, and I hope our relationship doesn't end this way. I'll try to see when I can go to the movies to make up for that day, we can change the date to when we're both free hopefully. Thanks for taking the time to read and I hope you can take my feelings into consideration and I'll do the same for you. (omg i'm sorry that i may have made u wait a long time at the movies, and hope we can just talk it out with each other some more. also I promise that I will contact you earlier and ask, instead of not saying anything
  12. and ofc I will give a reason why I didn't go and such)
  13. Jun 26, 2019, 8:45 AM
  14. Her: I understand that there are unavoidable life circumstances that may be more important at times, but there is always time left over. I believe that I deserve to have a piece of the remaining time left, no matter how busy you are. I believe that I’m not at fault for showing an impression that I didn’t want to go to the movies because I believe it is not fair that I put all the effort in and remind you a second time. My intentions of my message were not geared to have a discussion about bringing up resolved problems; I believe it is just as bad on your part for mentioning it as it is a resolved issue on its own. However, regarding current issues and my feelings, you should be concerned no matter how many times I bring it up. I do not enjoy arguing with you and I’m sorry for making you depressed, but I think it is important to settle things than leave them hanging. I don’t think putting more effort apologizing is something to be proud of. I hope you are willing to make small lifestyle changes to make me feel loved, prioritized, and appreciated.
  15. Jun 27, 2019, 12:51 AM
  16. Me: Yeah, as I said, no matter how busy I am, I always try to reply whenever I can. You could have just said anything instead of ignoring me which wasn't fair to me too. That's just not communicating with me and then getting mad for it. I wish you could try to understand how I felt, I put in the effort to try to make things better before we went to the movies so it's selfish to say that you're putting in all the effort. I knew that we had plans but you can't just not reply to me. That indicated to me that you didn't want to go. I was waiting for a response of any sort as I said, and not a thumbs up. You know I would have replied if you talked but you chose not to. After my response, you had the full opportunity to say something.  All you needed to do was to show that you still wanted to go, but when the time came you said nothing. Saying nothing leaves me to expect that you were still mad and needed some time alone. I wish I could be a mind reader, but I’m not. It's not the issue about "reminding me for a second time" it's leaving me hanging and making me assume that you were mad still and ignoring me. So, as I said before you need to tell me what you want because like I sent in the past (that Reddit post), people don't know what's in your mind unless you say it. It's happened multiple times when you repress things inside and then decide to bring it up out of nowhere, to anyone it just seems really confusing, especially after everything was normal. And that's just how I feel.
  17. I'm here to listen about your issues and feelings but to me, it's really unnecessary to do it for things that were already resolved as we talked it over and I thought we moved on from it. I don’t know if you realize but often times, you use things from the past as ammunition when you're arguing with me which is not fair. It's not just talking about it because it's honestly just to argue and make me apologize when we already talked it about it. Like, you can’t keep bringing up resolved problems because we already talked it over and moved on such as that time in December. It’s not healthy to keep bringing it up and then getting mad about it because how can you grow and move on if you do that.  I mentioned bringing up problems because that’s something that really bothers me and you need to know. It's not that I don't want to listen but everytime you bring something up it always just starts with you getting mad and arguing, regardless of when it is. Even last week I pleaded with you to talk after exams, but you said that was an "excuse" like, that was not necessary.  If I’m in a relationship I don’t want to constantly have to apologize and feel extremely bad for things I did from the past. Constantly feeling bad for just being myself really hurts a lot. Yes, it’s important that you feel the need to bring it up but honestly, sometimes it just feels toxic when you turn it into an argument. You may think it's just me being mad for "petty things" but it's more than that. I don't think you realize this is how you may come off as. But, I've already told you in the past I don't enjoy arguing so I try to avoid it whenever we can. I want to be able to talk freely without the tension between us being hostile.  That's my whole point, at times, we already settled things and we didn't leave it hanging but you get mad about it and bring it up again. So, yeah I get it’s important to settle things but hopefully, we can move on from it after. Like with the whole Oshone situation, the way you asked for a clarification was not genuine. It felt like you attacked me for not taking sides and for me defending myself, then you got mad because of me explaining. It turned into an argument when it shouldn't have been. I'm mentioning my efforts for apologizing because it's important that you try to understand that I spend a lot of time and effort into them because no matter how much I apologize, you're never satisfied and there's always something from the past that you bring up.
  18. Obviously, I am willing to make changes and I expect you to at least try to understand too. I need you to understand a lot happens in my life and I follow a schedule daily and things around my life impact me. For example my job, I have things like training now and I also have the JOB which is dealing with kids and yeah, it's for the whole month of July which is going to be tiring for me and I hope you can understand if I sometimes get too tired to hang out. Also, if you had a job I would be more supportive than what you said to me when I told you I had an interview. You said that "I hope you don't get it" which I get why you said that since I also wanted to spend time with you but that just felt a bit selfish. But regardless, I will do my best to always reply and talk to you whenever I can but please understand that there are times when I can't prioritize you all the time.
  19. I don't get how I don't make you feel loved/appreciated.. which really hurts. To me I show my appreciation in different ways, I don't do things like that for people I don't love. For example, I buy you drinks, I send you every test, I even gave you my bro's physic's binder and his assignment for English so I really don't get why you don't appreciate that. To me now it feels like you don't appreciate when I do things like that and I don't know why you take it for granted.
  20. With all that being said, I do appreciate you trying to work this out, as every relationship has their ups and downs hopefully we can move past this. In the future, I hope we don't make false assumptions and jump to unneccesary conclusions. We can continue talking it out and hopefully, we can go back to when we weren't arguing.
  21.  
  22. Jun 27, 2019, 3:35 PM
  23. Her: I tried to keep things short, calm, and straight to the point, but it seems as if you didn’t get the memo. The most important part of this discussion is to reach a CONSENSUS and find exactly what WE BOTH WANT and how we can ACHIEVE that, but you decided to pick on every fault I did and go into the specifics as well, which wouldn’t have wanted either. I was guilty of doing that myself in the past, but I learned from my mistakes. I guess it’s your way on telling me WHAT I SHOULD CHANGE, but you should not have to repeat some things I did and go into detail of what I have done AGAIN. This discussion was NOT intended to turn into an argument, but now it seems like it has. I hope you realize that I was trying to work through situation with you together, rather than against each other. If you think that going back and forth blaming each other would solve this issue, then you are completely wrong; but if that is what you like, I will explain my side again as we clearly have VERY DIFFERENT VIEWS on each other’s actions. I hope that you noticed that I gave you words of advice and the things you should change instead of pointing out every specific thing you did wrong this time, because I felt guilty for doing that in the past. I have changed the way I approach a problem to seek for agreeable solutions, but if you prefer the old ways of blaming each other back and forth then fine.
  24.  
  25. I am WILLING to make changes, and I have been TRYING to make them, I hope you are doing the same. I hope you understand that I have been TRYING MY BEST to NOT bring up past issues, and I hope you have noticed. I hope you realized that I had NOT brought up any past issues UNTIL THIS MONTH. Meaning, you did not have to exaggerate on how I kept doing so… Like you said, not everyone is perfect, it is hard for me to not bring up “past resolved” issues especially when there are still parts of it that have been UNSPOKEN; I have been bottling those emotions up for months and I felt like they needed to be heard. There is a point where I can no longer hold them in anymore.  I don’t recall ever telling you about how I was so hurt in December too, until last Thursday. I only expressed my feelings of that past resolved issue, I did not go into specifics and specify what you had done wrong again. I DID NOT blame you again, I only STATED MY MENTAL STATE. I did NOT want to start an argument because of it.  However, it may have turned into one, but that was only because I believed that it was worth me mentioning how you REACTED and how you did not ACKNOWLEDGE MY FEELINGS (I felt like my feelings were nonexistent), instead you ONLY acknowledged the fact that it was a “past” issue and only blamed me for mentioning it.  I already talked about this, but it seemed to me the point did not cross your mind the first time.
  26.  
  27. I know it important for your feelings to be heard. I am FINE with you needing to EXPRESS HOW YOU FELT AGAIN, but I did NOT think it was necessary for you to blame me AGAIN. You don’t like it when I talk about past resolved issues again and blame you again, SO WHY WOULD YOU DO THE SAME TO ME?  Especially if that is something you wanted me to change!? I thought the Oshone situation was already a “resolved” issue and we agreed that we were FINISHED TALKING ABOUT IT last week. Was it really necessary to blame me for what I did again? For the section you wrote about the Oshone situation, that’s how I much I wrote as well and I was only expressing my feelings before and i got was “why do you keep bring up past issues?” It seems to me that you think it is OKAY for you to bring up past resolved issues and blame me for it again though. I would also consider you using that past argument as “ammunition” for this issue, if you give it some thought. That only leaves me feeling oppressed. I already apologized about the Oshone issue on Friday, and I thought we were finished talking about each other’s actions. The times when it turns into an argument is when I bring up a part of a past argument that I did not speak about because it took me time to think and put how I feel into words. It only makes the situation worse if you shut someone out, especially if they are angry. And said “we already talked about this” WHICH was not entirely true. FOR EXAMPLE: I did not talk about how you kept making excuses to avoid my question in December cuz you thought it was awkward. OH IT'S CHRISTMAS, “can’t talk about it on Christmas” I spoke to you about this last week. It is only turns into an argument if you think that behaviour and shutting someone out is correct just because it is an issue from the past. that part, I did not speak to you about, ever. Until last week.
  28. For this reason, I think we are both guilty of the act of bringing up past issues, but the only difference is that I did not SHUT OUT YOUR FEELINGS.  I understand that you do not like it when I bring up past “resolved” problems, but feelings still matter. Yes, I do want to move on from the “past resolved” issues, but it’s impossible when it is still happening. For those six months of waiting for you to get “ready,” I thought to myself that it was okay that I was not being prioritized. I soon realized that I deserved to be treated as a priority, instead of an option. Excuses, always initiating, etc.
  29.  
  30. About the movie.. I INITIATED, and I ASKED you about the movie AGAIN. I did not ignore you as your reply to my message was a summary and your agreement of what I said.
  31.  
  32. I get how you thought that I may have been still mad. Because that was what I exactly felt on Friday after that Oshone argument, so yes I GET IT HOW YOU FEEL. I asked you after the argument, if you still wanted to go because I also wanted to know if you were still MAD at me and if you still wanted to go to the movies with me. However, I did not ask again on Sunday & Monday and you didn’t either. That only shows me that if I don’t mention it again, you won’t either, making it my RESPONSIBILITY to initiate it again. But really, it should both of our responsibilities to find out if the plans still stands, and I did my part.
  33.  
  34. THE POINT IS I went to ask you if we are still going to the movies with me to make sure you were not still mad at me on Friday after an argument; I did NOT wait for you to tell me if you still wanted to go. You were capable of doing the same, but you left that as MY responsibility to do so on Sunday & Monday again. You said you won’t justify for what you did, and you said it was completely on you, but you just attempted to.
  35.  
  36. This may or may not be true but my gut tells me you weren’t going to reply to my last message because you also put a thumbs up reaction then replied 5 hours later. I had a feeling you only replied so you wouldn’t have to ask me about the movie afterwards and continue a normal conversation. You said you took time to think it over, but it seems to me you summarized what I exactly said, so I don’t think much thought was put into it. Therefore, that message did require 24 hours to be sent. Solution? never use emoji reactions as a reply from now on.  
  37.  
  38. It is very ironic how you mentioned how WE SHOULD NOT make assumptions and JUMP TO unnecessary conclusions because you concluded that I did not want to go to the movies because you assumed that I was still mad. You said you are not a mind reader, If you were not sure, how come you didn’t ask? The thought that I may still be mad crossed your mind, it was not as if you were clueless. But I hope we change that for the better.
  39.  
  40. It is important that we both communicate with each other. In the future, it is both our responsibilities to communicate rather than assume. <which was what you did this time>  I spoke up for the first time, and I decided not to the second time, to see if you would mention anything about our plans, but you did not. It only shows that it is my responsibility. I went crying home that day because I felt like I had to be responsible for asking you about it again or you would not. My mom even gave me a sleeping pill that day because I couldn’t stop crying and fall asleep. I still firmly believe that I put all the initiative and effort into making that plan and no, I believe it was not a selfish act on my part. You also had the full opportunity to say something too, but you chose not to and decided to blame it on me and left to as my responsibility to tell you if I was still mad. You expected me to be RESPONSIBLE to say something and be initiative, are you saying that is not selfish as well? I think we were both are to blame for not talking about the movie again on Sunday and Monday, but the only difference between us was that I asked if you still wanted to go to the movies on Friday. And you failed to do the same on Sunday and Monday to find out if I was still mad.
  41.  
  42. About you pleading to talk after exams.. We were already in the middle of the argument, wouldn’t it be strange to leave it hanging like that, especially if it’s in the middle of it? It is not good going into exams with an unresolved argument. It wasn’t that hard to finish the argument. I understand that you don’t enjoy arguing, nobody does. The thing is, I haven’t argued with you for six months straight, so you can’t say we weren’t able to talk to each other freely during that huge amount of time. So I can’t be blamed for being stuff up from the past ALL THE TIME because I have not been doing so for MONTHS. Even now, I barely touched on the specific things you did to me in the past.
  43. I don’t know how I was not clear about how I understood that I can’t always be prioritized at times. “I understand that there are unavoidable life circumstances that may be more important at times, but there is always time left over. I believe that I deserve to have a piece of the remaining time left, no matter how busy you are.” I said I deserve a “piece” of that time. I did not say you had to go out with me OFTEN during the month of July. I meant once a week or so. Why would I even expect you to even if it is so hard to get you to go out with me now in June?? I asked you on Friday if you want to go out with me before you went to Paint Night and you said no. You said no because we were already going to see a movie on Tuesday already. That is not a valid reason, in my opinion, unless you were busy on Friday, which you weren’t in the afternoon. The fact that we were supposedly going to the movies on Tuesday should not interfere with Friday, and interfere if we go out or not on Friday. The only impression to give off by doing so is GOING OUT WITH me is a CHORE. You said you would make up for it, I hope you do.
  44.  
  45. I was supportive towards you after, and before your interview. I said, “I know you are going to get accepted!” I only said what I said because I wanted you to know I really want to go out more with you in the summer. It was more of a joke and you knew it was a joke, so you should not have taken that personally. I was also laughing while I said it and you were too.
  46.  
  47. Thank you for making me feel loved and appreciated in different ways, but I did not ever feel like a priority. I still feel friends & league still sit higher on your priority list than I am. I don’t think it would hurt too much to spend some time trying to talk to me and sacrificing some “gaming” time.
  48.  
  49. I’m sorry that I came off as unsupportive toward you getting that job. I promise I won’t do that again. I’m sorry that you felt like I attacked you for not taking any sides. I’m sorry for creating unnecessary arguments of past issues. I’m trying my best to not bring them up again, but I do think my feelings still matter.
  50.  
  51. .
  52. Jun 28, 2019, 12:37 AM
  53. Me : Hey, I’ll be finished with my reply tomorrow just to let you know. If I take too long to reply just know tomorrow I have to wake up early to get my visa passport. And also, the job training is tomorrow at 1-6. So don’t worry, it’s not me ignoring you and taking a long time to reply. I’ll give you a response when I can, thanks.
  54. thx for letting me know early
  55. Jun 29, 2019, 9:42 PM
  56. After reading and thinking it over,  it's clear we have different POV's/values/ideas on things. But I really hope this will be the long reply oof.
  57.  
  58. This did start off as talking short, calm, and straight to the point. But, If I had kept things short, you wouldn't have understood so I have to take a long time to explain. I always tried to think and explain the best I could and try to work this through. I also agree that the point of this discussion was to reach a consensus and I know that. However, it always seems like I have to be the one who apologizes for things which can be really unfair. I pointed out the things that bothered me, that I never talked about until now, this month of June. In fact, this is really the FIRST time where you see how I truly feel. I never bring up anything you do ever so it's just strange to me that I always do something wrong and you have to talk about it.  I don't wake up in the morning and think to myself, "What can I do to make Connie mad today". There are times when I said or did something that wasn't meant for any harm or to hurt you but you sometimes take it in a completely different meaning; things that I feel were just innocent. I was just being myself which I don't want to argue about. Honestly, those incidents were just misunderstandings, we shouldn't argue about things like that and I know that you know the things I do are never meant to hurt people on purpose. I learn from those things which were honest mistakes and I hope you can see that too. Just know, I find small things such as that are not worth arguing about and it's not good to always read too deep into what I say or do because you always seem to get upset about what I do. Not going to point out anything from the past to blame you, but just so you know what I think "those incidents" would be like me going to the library with David that time.
  59.  
  60. Yeah, it's clear we shouldn't be blaming each other. So we should not talk about our flaws in the future. I think that "Words of advice" rubbed me that wrong way, it honestly felt kinda harsh. I get that you felt that way, but in this case, it was necessary to bring up why you felt that way and not generalize it; of course, that's not just pointing out everything that I did wrong. So I think what we should do is just talk nicely and try not to come off as mad. I won't get mad and I'll understand why you feel that way but only by having both of us talking calmly with reasons, and having a nicer tone so we don't get the wrong ideas.
  61.  
  62. I also did do try my best to change and it seems like you didn't notice but I am trying too. I try to talk to you more (whenever I can, I talk when there's something interesting, and we already talked about that so I won't elaborate), and if you didn't notice we hung out more after school. I'm glad you're not bringing up things but it just felt like this month, there were too many issues that came up all at once. I know that you have to express it/be heard, but I just felt that the timing was just not good for both of us. I don't know but through my eyes it just makes me really confused when the whole convo can be going so good, and then it just happens when you say something out of nowhere; as you said you can't hold it in and I get that, but it can come off to me as showing to me that you always want to argue at weird times. I asked if there's anything else that was bothering you so I don't understand why you bottle it up and save it for later, I ask you at the moment "is there anything else" so I don't get why you don't tell me then but choose to do it later. It really only turned into an argument when I had to apologize for that again even after December (even when we talked about it and it was "resolved"). It was uneasy on my mental state too because prior to that we had already talked about the Oshone thing. I hope you can see that bringing up all the issues at once was not healthy for either of us. Again I mentioned before how it's not healthy to keep onto things from the past because you can't move on from that, but it just feels to me you're holding a grudge no matter how much I apologized. Too much arguing is really toxic for me and I hope you know that it does drain my energy a lot. We should talk about things when appropriate and really Con, I don't like it when you're sad and I'm always here to listen but this was a stressful and busy month and I know you understand that.
  63.  
  64. What I did was just talking about my own problems, something that I only did just this month so it's not a constant reoccurrence. That's the whole issue with this, it seems like it's very hypocritical because I also don't think it's necessary for you to keep blaming me for things. The problems weren't resolved if I never talked about them before except for the Oshone situation, I really only mentioned that again to show to you how it can be unfair. Yeah, I was hypocritical there for bringing that up and I apologize. But honestly seeing what you said is what I felt before all the time which I know you're trying to change. "Was it really necessary to blame me for what I did again?" is how I feel all the time especially after I apologized. So a solution would be that we should both not do that. Sometimes we can both be contradictory and hypocritical. "The times when it turns into an argument is when I bring up a part of a past argument that I did not speak about because it took me time to think and put how I feel into words." again, I don't get that especially if you dug that up from December which was a long time ago. I don't like it when you blame me for that again, because it's unfair too? It's basically what you said before how it's not necessary to blame for what someone did before. It seems to me like you reread arguments from so long ago if you're saying that which is not healthy? I know that it really hurt you but is it really okay to bring it up again after so long but with something different that I did. It does turn into an argument because I would like to move on and again, holding grudges and resentment like that won't help. You knew that June was a hectic month, I did not want to argue because of that but as I said, it just seemed like a lot of arguments happened in a short amount of weeks let alone days.
  65. A solution to all of this: Both of us should not use the past in our arguments if there are things we already talked about (we SHOULD try to move on and not talk about it again), and honestly talking when the time is less hectic and stressful.
  66.  
  67. It seems to me when I try to talk about my feelings you always shoot me down by bringing up something that I did or even act annoyed for talking about them. "Feelings still matter" is true but try to take into consideration like if it is something that is really worth talking about and not a small thing to mention again. And yeah, you do deserve to be treated as a priority and I have been TRYING more to do that when you tell me something like try to talk more. It's not fair that you think everything I do is an "excuse" and that really bothers me so aside from that, I don't think a priority includes disregarding all of my current problems or situations just so I can only focus on you because that's not fair to me and I do try my best. And I hope you understand that now.
  68. All I am saying is that if you asked me after the argument that we had argued on Sat/Sun it would've been better and not the one prior because you asked me before all of that. The argument lasted from Sat-Sunday and (you can prove me if I'm wrong but you didn't ask me after the argument) which is why I didn't ask. But the real problem with that was that we said nothing after so really I do get it too, my only regret is not saying anything because I thought you were still mad at me and I was too and that we both needed some time alone on Monday. So yes, I admit that I should have asked you to see if things were okay.
  69. "This may or may not be true but my gut tells me you weren’t going to reply to my last message because you also put a thumbs up reaction then replied 5 hours later." Connie that's just making assumptions again because I was honestly busy on Sunday (I told you that I had to go out because people came over for dinner). And also "I had a feeling you only replied so you wouldn’t have to ask me about the movie afterwards and continue a normal conversation" which was not true because I was only waiting on you to say something because I wanted to know if we were good, which is why I mentioned you only reacted with the "thumbs up".  
  70.  
  71.  
  72. Anyways, I know now that it was honestly a very bad misunderstanding with the movie thing, I hope that never happens again. So I am really sorry that I mad you upset and cry; as always I never try to do things like that on purpose and I hope you understand. In the future we both should talk more and make fewer assumptions; I will also talk and ask how you feel but I hope you can understand it was hard to talk to you after an argument like that.
  73.  
  74. Yeah, I only pleaded because I really needed to study for my exams? I think that even before that it was not necessary to bring it up prior to a stressful time like that. I didn't want to argue because I was trying to pass my course. I think next time, doing it at better times would be better and not during exams. At that time I'm extremely stressed and I don't want to argue, which will make me mad when I respond so I hope you get that although it was in the middle of it, I asked you to not because it wasn't a good time. As I said before, bringing up everything in this month was really just chaotic. It was just constant arguments after arguments like we could be resolved one, then another one started and it had a mental toll on me. I still always talked to you and it might have not been as much as you would have liked but I did try to talk more especially during the last few weeks which I want to point out. I get that it's been months but really, it's only about the issues about you holding resentments over things that we have already been through. I just don't enjoy that and you already know. I mean just for me, I just do not like talking about the past as I learned from my own experience that it's not healthy for you. It really took me like 4 years to try to move on and not think about what happened to me (It's the thing I mentioned of why I'm sad) Soo yeah, that experienced changed me and honestly it affected who I am today so I'm trying to do better as a human/friend/bf. But my point is um it's not really good to focus on specific things people did because it's really not going to help you live/move on with life. So again from my last reply, I apologize for bringing up what you did from before. Okay, I get that, you do deserve a piece of that time and I'm not saying that you don't I just don't what you to get mad at me if I tell you I'm too tired. On Friday I just was looking forward to going to paint night with you oof, but even before that, we played league together. I recall before that I was trying to work things out with you before we went to paint night but even so it was unfortunate that you couldn't go. Going out with you isn't a chore, at least in my eyes so don't get the wrong idea and think that. Again, after all of this being said I hope we can move past this.
  75.  
  76. I get that you were joking too, but oof I only said it to you because I wanted you to be proud of my first job ;-; It was a really big deal to me and I spent a lot of time prior to that preparing for it. Anyways, I also like spending time with you but yeah, I understand I shouldn't take taken it personally it just came off the wrong way a bit after arguing.
  77.  
  78. Oof, I get that you never felt like a priority but trust me I always tried to make you feel happy and loved. I'll try my best to make you feel that. I just like playing league and talking to you with my friends, it's like combining all of my favourite things into one. I can spend more time talking but sometimes I just play games to blow off steam and relax so don't take it personally.
  79.  
  80. I'm really sorry for the movie thing, I promise that I will take the initiative to ask how you feel instead of assuming next time. I'm sorry for making you feel like you're not a priority or how you feel like you may not be loved. I'm sorry for getting mad and I'll listen if you have to talk about something and I'll explain. I'm also trying my best but this is just who I am as a person and I hope I can be less shy as I know that's one of my problems in life. After all of this, I just need you to know I'm not blaming you, rather it's just explaining and I hope you can get that. Also after this, I think we should take some time for a break until we feel better.
  81. + I think that we explained it enough and after this reply I hope we can understand and move on, (meaning there's no need for you to also type a long reply if you don't feel the need too and we can focus on other things)
  82.  
  83. Jun 30, 2019, 7:46 PM
  84. HER: I don’t think the incident about going to the library with David was a small thing
  85. 1. I think you should tell me your excuses as early as possible so i dont get the wrong idea then get frustrated. I wouldn't have gotten mad when you were walking to the library with David if I knew you had to get picked up early that day, but you told me that later in the evening
  86. 2. I cried the entire way home that day for the first time, obviously wasn't a small thing. The second time was because of the movie. I hope there isn’t a third time.
  87. 3. I also felt like you wanted to keep this relationship a secret to the point where you don’t want to be seen walking in public with me, especially when David was there. You told me after that it wasnt true but that was what i felt at that very moment and it made me rlly sad, but im glad its not true though. If i didnt talk about it with u then i will probably still believe what i felt at first
  88.  
  89.  
  90. I felt like we only hung out more after school because I kept asking you. If I didn’t , we probably would have hung out that much after school. so I think in the future, you should ask me too
  91.  
  92. I only meant the Oshone situation was the past resolved issue, not the others. While I was replying to the other issues you mentioned, i didnt say they were past issues, only the oshone one. I know you talked about the Oshone situation to prove a point or something; believe me or not but I was doing the same with the past issues I brought up as well.
  93.  
  94. “It seems to me when I try to talk about my feelings you always shoot me down by bringing up something that I did or even act annoyed for talking about them. "
  95. -same with u tbh so lets both not do that
  96.  
  97. "The times when it turns into an argument is when I bring up a part of a past argument that I did not speak about because it took me time to think and put how I feel into words." again, I don't get that especially if you dug that up from December which was a long time ago. I don't like it when you blame me for that again, because it's unfair too?
  98. -I said it was unspoken so i’m not blaming u again if I never talked about it. No. Not entirely true of how I dug that up from December as that issue is still happening this month. For example, not being prioritized, always initiating and excuses. Those were some problems from December as well, if it were to be a resolved issue, then how are those things still a problem as I am typing this reply? It is an ongoing unresolved issue that id like to be fixed soon
  99.  
  100. “Connie that's just making assumptions again because I was honestly busy on Sunday (I told you that I had to go out because people came over for dinner).”
  101. -You told me in your reply that you went out for lunch and dinner, not prior to your response. I was left on edge for nearly 24 hours. you didn’t tell me about lunch and dinner first and I couldn’t ask you when you will reply either. Nothing for me to do other than sit and start to make more assumptions as every hour passes by with my msg still “unseen.” once again, tell me your excuses as early as possible so i dont start making assumptions
  102.  
  103. about the movie.. We ended the Oshone argument on Friday and I asked you about the movie. When we ended the other one on Sunday, I did not ask you about the movie. Yep i agree, it would have been better if I asked you after the argument on Sunday, but I don’t own a time machine. I did not know we would have another argument on Saturday. I also can’t swap asking about the movie on Friday with not asking about the movie on Monday. We should take turns initiating plans, now is ur turn now. I also would really appreciate it if you try to make the next plan before your job starts if possible or like soon idk. I forgive you for not asking about the movie and the other things too:) but u still have to show me that you will initiate plans in the future as well. I also did not mean to intentionally start that argument during exams but I’m sorry for making you more stressed. I also don't want to be an egirl lol and date on league. I don’t only want to only hang out on league, not my ideal “date.”
  104.  
  105.     “I understand that there are unavoidable life circumstances that may be more important at times, but there is always time left over. I believe that I deserve to have a piece of the remaining time left, no matter how busy you are.” i never said that making me a priority includes disregarding all of your current problems or situations to only focus on me. I am just saying after all those problems and situations, there will be at least some time left… and like if you loved me, I will get some of that time because i would use my remaining free time left to go out with you without having a second thought. can you give me examples on how you tried to make me a priority? Tbh, if someone goes into a relationship and they genuinely really liked and cared about that person, they would subconsciously prioritize them. And I subconsciously prioritized you.  I just sometimes feel like im more interested in you than you are interested in me and idk it just makes me depressed 😢 If u combine all ur fav things into one, how come i rarely see you ask me to play league with u:(
  106.  
  107. I appreciate that you are trying your best to be a good boyfriend and I hope we can move past these issues and go back to normal
  108.  
  109. Jul 1, 2019, 11:30 PM
  110. ME:
  111. (before you read, Ik I take a long time to reply so oof, but it really, I always have a hard time knowing how to put my feelings into words because I don't understand myself a lot so don't take it personally)
  112.  
  113. Okie, in the future if anything comes up i'll let ya know asap so you don't make assumptions
  114. Oof I'm sorry again for that but really, it was unintentional, I also hope there won't be a third time. Ofc, I'll ask ya to hang out more so you don't always have to initiate but I'll always usually be free if you ask unless there's something coming up
  115.  
  116. Ah I see about the Oshone thing, btw (IF you guys need any more help I'll be here)
  117. Agreed, let's not do that anymore, I hope that we can talk about things more reasonably going into the future.
  118.  
  119. I'll work on prioritizing you and initiating because you deserve that oof, I'll try my best but um it may take some time adjusting for that. For the excuses i'll try to be more straightforward and I won't beat around the bush so yeet, I hope I can fix that soon too. (And yeah, in the future i'll have to tell you what's up with me so you know, but just know I usually take a long time to reply oof if it's something serious because I have to really think it over and try my best to reply ;-;)
  120. Ik there are other issues to fix too but we can focus on these main ones for now
  121.  
  122. Same honestly, again I feel really bad about the whole movie thing, that was unlike me ;-; I don't know, I guess after arguing it just made me sad/mad so I hope that won't happen to me again and in the future we can talk through things even after an argument. If I had a time machine I honestly would go back too to make things right  (that's my one super power I would want to have in life, cough life is strange <----)
  123. I was actually thinking of watching a movie on rabb.it (a site to watch things together) we can talk about it more later soon hopefully
  124. Thanks for forgiving me oof, I also forgive you, because I understand more now so don't worry about it um it's okay about the exams I just can't do well under stress oof
  125. Oh, I don't think of you as an egirl but I get how you feel that way (it's just I usually just play games in my freetime for fun) we can do other stufff too if you'd like  😮
  126.  
  127. Oof true there is always some time left but I just hope this month won't be too tiring so that I can spend some of that time for you, I've really only been focusing mainly on this month because I think I would be exhausted after a day of kiddos oof (it starts tmr i'll let you know how it goes if you'd like)
  128.  
  129. But in August I don't have any plans so heh 🙂 We can still go to wonderland and do other things too before or after that 😮 I will have plenty of time then so yeet
  130.  
  131. Honestly I always tried to make you a priority in my own ways like:
  132. - Trying to make you happy at lunch w/ food and candy (ik it's lame but I always tried to make sure I have something at lunch for you always) I realized that's subconscious because I bascially did it as a routine to try to make lunch more enjoyable/something to look forward to as we didn't have any classes last sem
  133. - In the past month it's been more of an eye opener for me and I tried to spend more time with you after school and talk to you more
  134. - Again, I send tests and stuff mainly to you because I want you to do good if I don't 😮
  135. - Um I don't want to bring this up but really again I wanted you to be happy, I spent my time trying to talk with Oshone to help you guys be friends again because I know that friendship made you happy ;-; So I subconciously take your feelings into what I do
  136. ;-; I know you feel that way but I just have a hard time showing affection to people um it's really something that I have to fix because of... that "thing" it kinda made me idk have a hard time showing people how I really feel but just know that I am interested too and I appreciate all that you do ;-;
  137. I'll ask def you more to play league in the future 😮
  138. but yeah, um I want to take a second to really say thanks for talking through this and working it out with me, I'm glad we're both finally coming to a solution/conclusion and understanding. You're a really good girlfriend full of love lel but I'll try to reciprocate more of how I feel to you over time buT I hate myself for having a hard time showing emotions oof
  139. Anyways, ty for being patient with this reply ;-; I had to type it when I wasn't stressed and I guess when I knew what to really say, I hope too we can move past this because it feels like the end and things got resolved (I hope)
  140.  
  141. Jul 2, 2019, 6:56 PM
  142. HER:
  143. thanks for forgiving me and talking this through with me as well. thanks for reaching a compromise on the importance of prioritization, affection, initiation, and trust in a relationship. we can start slow and start to adjust to some of those things, but hopefully, in the near future, you’d be adjusted to them:). I appreciate how you prioritize me in your own ways, but I would also want to feel prioritized outside of school. I already mentioned it already it, but you can text me more; it doesn't always have to be when you have something interesting to say. you can say some simple things that show that you're thinking of me 😂.  I don't just want to get a text in the evenings or nights only or when you have something interesting to say. that was what I meant by texting more.  I also don’t need any help with oshone, she seems like she prefers things the way they are (check her ig bio) and I also don't want to deal with anything more for a while.  watching a movie on rabb.it would be nice, but I still would like to go with you to the movies after
  144.  
  145. lol yeah I know I am a girlfriend full of love, that's the main reason I got frustrated because I don't want this relationship to feel one-sided. hopefully in the future, showing affection would be easier for you as you get more comfortable. I also hope you can find some time this month to go out with me because I don't want to go with a month without seeing you 🙂
  146. Jul 3, 2019, 11:13 PM
  147. ME:
  148. 😮 Okiee I'm really glad we worked through this even though it took a long itme oof, glad we finally came to a solution too and I'll start adjusting to do better for those things from now on :3 (and for the future)
  149. Oof in the future i'll def prioritize you outside of school by talking more ;-; I just really usually talk to ppl when there's somethin interesting (It's a habit i have to break) but I'll try to talk about small things too ;3 I just didn't want the convo to be simple/boring but yeah 😮 i'll def talk more even if it's simple things
  150. Um, oof I see I think if you guys did talk about it again maybe you guys can try talking like we did but yeah I get how it's important to not want to deal with it rn
  151. yup for shore ;3 I'll hopefully be able to watch rabb.it soon and go to movies but recently i've just been napping as soon as I get home from cuz it's so tiring xD
  152. (this sat/sun im going to extra training for extra money hehe)
  153.  
  154. Um yeah, i see now how you get frustrated for that ;-; I may not show it through words always but I do it through actions xD
  155. "Actions speak louder than words" :3
  156.  
  157. Okiee i'll def try to hang out with you this month 😮 i'll think it over this weekend ;3
  158. (oof also i'll try to reply more quick/fast because recently I've just been going to work, sleeping, then relaxing for a bit xD) so yeet
  159. Jul 4, 2019, 7:06 AM
  160. HER:
  161. yea, hopefully this is the last time we talk about this as well
  162.  
  163. lol well, a simple/boring convo is better than none imo. u just have to initiate and try to keep the convo going because I think I have an ability to make any convo interesting:) at the same time, I don’t always want to initiate & keep the convo going myself all the time; there needs to be a balance  
  164.  
  165. have fun with the extra training and getting extra money. what do u even do for extra training?
  166.  
  167. we can hang out very often by napping TOGETHER! since you sleep after work anyway, you can come and sleep with me;) then relax for a bit 😉 anyway, how annoying r the kids? hopefully u don’t get one urself anytime soon
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