I feel bad because I'm frustrated with myself.
I've been living day to day and not working on the backlog of things that need done - sorting and filing clothes, discarding overstock, finding a full-time job I can move out on - and everything I've wanted, I feel like I've had to initialize a request for or nag about. This is especially the case with RP, which as a result of the ol' hedonism treadmill, I've been relying more on as an escape.
This increases my feelings of disappointment with myself, as I feel that I'm being needy, selfish, unproductive, and just generally worthless. And that feeds back into the loop.

So I feel like I'm a nuisance making a feeble attempt to get nowhere, there's nothing to do about it, and I don't know a way out. It was especially painful last night to see Chan, Liam, and Leonard in PF just being silly in pub (and horny in NSFW) because I like RPing with all of them, but I have no plots to suggest, and I feel like they're all very busy and I'm not worth their time.

Plus the couple RPs I have going on are all in a waiting phase right now and as previously stated, I already feel like a nag.