it's understandable trying to manage your workload and stress levels. there isn't anything i can say about what happened at the server, because i wasn't there. that was before i was friends with ophelia, so i've only heard about it, but i understand that group chats can be hard to keep up with so stepping back was probably the right choice there

with regards to the things that happened with mari -- i'm not entirely sure why you brought her up? but i assume you did as a show of, "i'm not the only one who felt excluded." but i want to say that there was more shit going on with mari that you likely didn't see, ranging from her and kennedy plagiarising ophelia and amanda, to mari lying to amanda about things i'd said to her, so just... idk, be aware that more happened there. talk to amanda if you want to know more

about our discord group -- it's a private server for a closed verse. it originated when me and ace (a fallout player) were doing a modern verse, and i suggested we combine it with the one i had with amanda, and from there we also brought in ophelia and silas because they're connected to amanda's modern verse, and recently we added another fallout player for the same reason

the group of us have become pretty good friends (well, me and amanda and silas knew each other from before tumblr, but that's beside the point) and talk a lot, nearly every day though not everyone is talking 24/7, between amanda having classes, ophelia having a lot of irl projects, ace is working, emory and i have rl obligations, and silas is still on hiatus because she's so super busy with school and social stuff. the reason why we'd bring our joking to tumblr is because we found it too funny to keep to ourselves and we wanted to share it

about your concerns about amanda and ophelia -- there isn't anything i can say about that. i don't mean this rudely, but -- it doesn't have anything to do with me, i'm not gonna speak for them, etc. etc. i once spent a lot of time mediating between people and i didn't do anyone any favors and it was just bad for me all around. so, you should bring up to amanda how you feel, and bring up to ophelia if you feel she hasnt been treating you fairly

i'm sorry that you felt excluded, and i understand your feelings, and i understand how things can build up over time until something otherwise small feels bigger. from my end, though, i want you to understand that it was three, four posts at max, and i know i *did* consistently use my crack tag, and ophelia wasn't directly involved with the posting. so amanda was the one who didn't use the crack tag, but from what i've heard, you've been the most upset with me and ophelia, which i assume is because we're the ones who responded on tumblr

which, i want you to understand why we did that, too. it wasn't about attacking you or anything, it was about trying to defend ourselves. you're right that posting it publicly isn't the kind of thing we respond well to -- due to callout culture, and the way tumblr rpc handles drama in general, once something is made public, it is generally assumed that the issue is a big one. so, you posting it publicly like that made it look like you were either trying to shame us, or trying to corner us into doing what you wanted. which -- again, being asked to tag it didn't upset us. but the method used put us on the defensive, and concerned about how things might look from the outside. because, since it was made public, we felt we HAD to consider that

you're right that we'd been on good terms and we didn't think you'd do something like that -- which is why we were so shocked. and there have been so many times in the past when someone who had seemed alright and friendly would turn around and behave otherwise -- so while we were thrown off by you making the post, we didn't entirely know what was going on, and felt it was safest to defend ourselves

i hadn't thought i had been mean or especially hostile in my post, though. i was more blunt than i typically am, because i don't want to play games when it comes to things like this. the times i've dealt with drama in the past, i did not defend myself, and it's a really bad feeling. so since the switch to tumblr, i've decided to stand my ground about things more

i want to apologize for assuming the second post was about us, and i'm sorry that someone was being shitty about very serious matters. but since your post didn't mention *which* tags you were referring to, and we hadn't had contact since then, that particular miscommunication happened, which was just a whole mess, and i'm sorry about that. i will say though, as i mentioned on tumblr IM, i was afk for a large part of that night so when i was online again i caught up with ophelia and amanda, and i didn't think ophelia had opened the conversation by insulting you