https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XhcyeIEBT4I
Instrumental: no fucking idea

Gabe: What the hell?

Tim:
Welcome to my software,
Welcome to my store,
Welcome to the launcher
That China also owns...

Epicopolis, my metropolis!
My favorite place to be,
Epicopolis, my metropolis!
Where it's all for one and that one is me
From Epic's own engine to Epic's very store,
All features, service and support
Are here for devs, not you!

You know, until Sergey came along, this was just a Fortnite launcher but now it's...

Epicopolis, my metropolis!
The region that I rule,
Epicopolis, my metropolis!
Now welcome to shill school

Chorus:
E-P-I-C! Epic, Epic! On PC!

Tim:
Epicopolis, my metropolis!
A wondrous place to be,

Devs who sold out:
It's glorious,
Victorious,
Steam users are notorious
Free money are euphorious

Tim:
And here is what you'll see:
Fortnite movies starring me,
My name in lights on the E3,
Epic books and magazines,
Epic actions, RPGs,
Epic shooters, strategies,
Add plastformers to all these
All the dogs are remote eaters,
Exclusives help the industry,
Just you watch how I shitpost on my own Twitter:

Epicopolis, my metropolis!
With games and sales, whatever,
Our sales are all backed up,
And now a look at Trello.

Tim: I can't wait to show you my new project: EpicGOG! There's a non-DRM shop on the spot right now, but you can't stop progress. Epicopolis is growing, and soon, soon, soon it will become...

Chorus: Epicopolis Megalopolis!
Tim: My evil legacy
Chorus: Epicopolis! (Tim: I buy out finished games!)
Customer: That's not how you do business!
Tim: It is to me!

Some have tried to run and hide,
But they just can't get free!
'Cause when Steam's dead, you'll bow your head,
To Epic Store of me!
(Ha ha ha ha ha!)

Chorus: Welcome to his city,
Welcome to his land

Tim and chorus:
Welcome to the empire
That Tencent rules with iron hand!
Epicopolis!