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- I had a Hippopotamus, I kept him in a shed
- And fed him upon vitamins and vegetable bread
- I made him my companion on many cheery walks
- And had his portrait done by a celebrity in chalk
- His charming eccentricities were known on every side
- The creatures' popularity was wonderfully wide
- He frolocked with the Rector in a dozen friendly tussles
- Who could not but remark on his hippopotamuscles
- If he should be affected by depression or the dumps
- By hippopotameasles or the hippopotamumps
- I never knew a particle of peace 'till it was plain
- He was hippopotamasticating properly again
- I had a Hippopotamus, I loved him as a friend
- But beautiful relationships are bound to have an end
- Time takes alas! our joys from us and rids us of our blisses
- My hippopotamus turned out to be a hippopotamisses
- My house keeper regarded him with jaundice in her eye
- She did not want a colony of hippotami
- She borrowed a machine gun from from her soldier nephew, Percy
- And showed my hippopotamus no hippopotamercy
- My house now lacks that glamour that the charming creature gave
- The garage where I kept him is now as silent as the grave
- No longer he displays among the motor tyres and spanners
- His hippopomastery of hippopotamanners
- No longer now he gambols in the orchards in the spring
- No longer do I lead him through the village on a string
- No longer in the morning does the neighbourhood rejoice
- To his hippopotamusically-modulated voice.
- I had a hippopotamus but nothing upon earth
- Is constant in its happines or lasting in its mirth
- No joy that life can give me can be strong enough to smother
- My sorrow for that might-have-been-a-hippopota-mother
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