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Sep 23rd, 2019
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  1. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XhcyeIEBT4I
  2. Instrumental: no fucking idea
  3.  
  4. Gabe: What the hell?
  5.  
  6. Tim:
  7. Welcome to my software,
  8. Welcome to my store,
  9. Welcome to the launcher
  10. That China also owns...
  11.  
  12. Epicopolis, my metropolis!
  13. My favorite place to be,
  14. Epicopolis, my metropolis!
  15. Where it's all for one and that one is me
  16. From Epic's own engine to Epic's very store,
  17. All features, service and support
  18. Are here for devs, not you!
  19.  
  20. You know, until Sergey came along, this was just a Fortnite launcher but now it's...
  21.  
  22. Epicopolis, my metropolis!
  23. The region that I rule,
  24. Epicopolis, my metropolis!
  25. Now welcome to shill school
  26.  
  27. Chorus:
  28. E-P-I-C! Epic, Epic! On PC!
  29.  
  30. Tim:
  31. Epicopolis, my metropolis!
  32. A wondrous place to be,
  33.  
  34. Devs who sold out:
  35. It's glorious,
  36. Victorious,
  37. Steam users are notorious,
  38. Free money is euphorious.
  39.  
  40. Tim:
  41. And here is what you'll see:
  42. Fortnite movies starring me,
  43. My name in lights on the E3,
  44. Acticles in magazines,
  45. Exclusive actions, RPGs,
  46. As well as shooters, strategies,
  47. Add plastformers to all these
  48. All the dogs are remote eaters,
  49. Exclusives help the industry,
  50. Take a look how I shitpost on my own Twitter.
  51.  
  52. Epicopolis, my metropolis!
  53. With games and sales, whatever,
  54. Our sales are all backed up,
  55. And now a look at Trello.
  56.  
  57. Tim: I can't wait to show you my new project: EpicGOG! There's a non-DRM store on the spot right now, but you can't stop progress. Epicopolis is growing, and soon, soon, soon it will become...
  58.  
  59. Chorus: Epicopolis Megalopolis!
  60. Tim: My evil legacy
  61. Chorus: Epicopolis! (Tim: I buy out finished games!)
  62. Customer: That's not how you do business!
  63. Tim: It is to me!
  64.  
  65. Some people tried to rant and hate,
  66. But they just can't get free!
  67. 'Cause when Steam's dead, you gonna buy
  68. From Epic Store of me!
  69. (Ha ha ha ha ha!)
  70.  
  71. Chorus: Welcome to his domain,
  72. To Chinese botnet
  73.  
  74. Tim and chorus:
  75. Welcome to the empire
  76. That Tencent rules with iron hand!
  77. Epicopolis!
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