You’re woken by sunlight streaming through the curtains you didn’t close properly – beams of gold and white peering through and dotting the room in a gentle glow. Everyone else is still asleep – curled up together in dishevelled sheets and a tangle of limbs. Honoka makes gestures in her sleep.
It feels peaceful, watching them. You sit for a little while, watching the dust-motes float in the air. Everyone has different sleeping habits – Eli rolls over every few minutes, looks troubled, Umi is dead still on her back, Rin splays her limbs in every direction, and Kotori is draped over her two best friends. Nozomi is – missing, you notice. You wonder if she’s gone to the bathroom, but there’s a draft from the front door, so you stand up and look outside and oh – there she is, standing out by herself on the beach at seven in the morning.
It doesn’t surprise you, because everything Nozomi does or says is inherently inexplicable anyway, but you can sort of get it, staring into the sunrise. There’s all kinds of colours – purples and golds and oranges and reds, the sky reflecting onto the sea like a living mosaic, waves crashing colours together. You take the steps down to the beach, across the road and onto the beach, sand pressing between your toes.
Nozomi notices immediately – not that you were trying to sneak up on her or anything, but it wasn’t like you’d been that loud, either.
“Oh! You’re up early, Maki-chan,” she says, face softening when she realises the intruder is you. “The sun’s sure to give us a lot of power today.”
There’s a weird twist in her face, like she’s lying or something, but it’s not like there was anything she said that could really have been interpreted as a lie.
“What were – are – you trying to do?” you say – and there’s no venom in your voice this time, to your surprise.
“It’s not like I was doing this for you, or anything,” Nozomi says, looking at you over her shoulder. You frown, raise your eyebrows – really? You’re dense, but you’re not that dense. Even if she did have suspicious motives, it was clear that she’d been trying to help you, in some way.
“Okay, maybe a little,” she admits, and you roll your eyes. She scratches at her neck uncomfortably, draws circles with her toe in the sand. The waves roll up and down, leaving behind sea foam as high as they can reach.
“I’ve been watching over Muse since the beginning,” Nozomi says, staring at her feet. “Each and every one of us – we all needed something.”
You’re prepared to roll yours eyes again, but she doesn’t stop, so you hold your tongue.
“For me, I needed – all of you. All of us. I don’t want anyone to feel left out or left behind,” she looks away from you, out towards the ocean. Her hands, clasped behind her back, squeeze at each other. “I ended up giving advice to them when I thought they needed it – and maybe I stuck my nose into other people’s business a little too much, but – I can’t help it.”
She looks back at you, and the look in her eyes catches you – there’s no playful glint, nothing sly about them. She looks, for the first time, just a little honest. It almost throws you, but you swallow – accept it. Your feet move on their own, walking forwards so you’re shoulder to shoulder.
“The ocean is really peaceful to look at, y’know?” she says, looking at you bashfully, and oh – this, this is different. You look away. “Whenever I get nervous, I look out here, and it’s so big – it helps me put things in perspective, and realise that I’m gonna be okay. And I will be.”
You look out into the ocean, following her gaze out into the horizon. Maybe there is some sort of peace to be found out there, staring into the sea. The sound of the waves and the gulls is much more pleasant to you, though. Regardless, if helps her, then, well – that’s good enough for you.
“You really do meddle too much, you know?” you say, realising you’re talking a little bit like her and not finding it in yourself to really care.
“Right?” she says, grinning at you, hunching her shoulders.