a guest Jun 16th, 2019 62 Never
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- Removed Review on Orange: MAJOR FUCKING SPOILERS ALSO FUCK MAL
- Going into the season I didn't expect Orange (aptly titled I might add) to soon become what I believe to be the greatest work ever created by man. I myself was unworthy of experiencing this masterpiece and I would go so far to say that my human intelligence limits me in truly understanding this amazing anime.
- ((This will include spoilers so don't read it if you somehow give a fuck about Orange))
- ((I also didn't edit this it's basically a stream of my consciousness, not that it matters it'll still probably be decent by mal standards))
- Story - 10 :DDDDD (it's actually a 2)
- The basic story of Orange is that this girl named Naho gets a letter from her future self (I can't think of a single time where time travel was executed poorly what's the worse that could happen???) telling her that she can NOT hang out with the new kid Kakeru after school, for that day only. The letter doesn't explain why she can't hang out with him but it doesn't matter because it's spooky and mysterious so w/e. Unfortunately for letter-kun Kakeru is a hottie so obviously she falls head over heels for him, despite the fact that he's an insipid, lifeless, irksome cunt. So basically at the end of the day all of Naho's friends invite Kakeru to go with them to hang out and eat bread, Kakeru seems hesitant but decides to go anyways. Naho considers the letter she got but decides that she would look crazy if she tried to explain it. At the time all of this made enough sense to me, Naho's friends don't know about the letter so they wouldn't know that they shouldn't invite him right? FUCK NO LATER ON IN THE SHOW IT'S REVEALED THAT THEY ALL GOT THE SAME FUCKING LETTERS YET THEY INVITED HIM ANYWAYS. It also might be worth mentioning that Kakeru's mom was in the hospital and wanted him to visit her that day but he's a shitty fucking person and a milquetoast little bitch so he gave into peer pressure and flaked on his hospitalized mother. Now this is just the first episode, mind you, and it's already gotten this retarded.
- The next episode reveals that Kakeru's mother killed herself because he didn't go to the hospital with her. I honestly have to scratch my head and wonder, why the fuck did the letter not mention that crucial detail? I see no reason why it couldn't have, and it certainly would have made Naho and her friends, y'know, actually pay attention to it. We also learn that Kakeru would come to blame himself for his mothers death and eventually kill himself because of it. And stopping Kakeru from killing himself (and also letting Naho get some of that hot edgy dick) became the main point of Orange. At some point in these earlier episodes we also learn that future Naho was already happily married to Suwa (a superior person in literally every way) and had children with him but all of her friends (including Suwa) decide that they need to change that shitty ass future so that Naho can get dicked down by Kakeru instead. Needless to say, my NTR boner was at full throttle. It also introduces some ugly mean girl shoujo trope bitch goes out with Kakeru for a few episodes but that ends when she's too mean to Naho and she's never really relevant again.
- They eventually make enough progress to where Naho and Kakeru both like each other and everyone knows it but they don't do anything about it basically so that the show can be longer. A lot of pointless shit happens that I won't give the play by play on all of it but it's stupid and I can assure you that. One thing I will talk about just because the scene was really funny (not in a good way it was ironically a great scene) Kakeru blames Naho for his mothers death and storms off and when someone tries to reach him he grabs his phone and slams it on the ground, breaking it. I mention this because it is the most tragic scene in the entire show.
- Skipping to the final episode Naho and Kakeru seem to really be on decent terms, they confess and things are going well. Until that is, Kakeru looks at a picture book and gets triggered to kill himself I need to remind you Orange takes itself completely seriously here. So basically he steps in the way of a truck but jumps away at the last second bc he decides he cares about life or something (AKA he's a pussy).
- That was a bit of a mess and I probably missed some details but I think I got some points across. (I forgot to mention they sent the letters back in time via black hole bc I didn't mention it above. My thoughts on this are that it's fucking stupid, not much more to say really.)
- Art - 4
- Now I would have gladly given Orange a 7 in Art earlier on, but the budget falls off somewhere and half the shots become alienesque it's so fucking bad lmao. I'll let the art speak for itself.
- Sound - 6
- There was nothing notable about the soundtrack at all. It might sound weird to say this but it was strikingly unnoticeable. The OP and ED were very pleasant though I will give it that. The voice acting was the same as it is in almost every anime, Kanahana (god bless her I want to have sex with her voice) played Naho but she wasn't even especially glorious, as if even based kanahana couldn't save this train-wreck. Still the sound was sadly probably the best aspect of this series.
- Characterz - 2
- Oh jesus where do I even begin. I already gave an idea of how the characters behave in ways that don't make any sense in my story section so I'll just add details on the major characters.
- Naho: Naho is a complete air-headed retard, nothing she does ever makes sense, she doesn't grow and she is such a skank she sent letters back through a black hole in order to fuck the hot guy from her class in highschool.
- Kakeru: Literally the worst generic shoujo guy ever because he's also edgy and just fucks everything up because he is so full of self-pity and just honestly should have stayed dead.
- Suwa: One of the more likable characters in the show, I suspect that behind his smile lies darkness. One example of this darkness is his NTR fetish, he literally helped his wife dump him.
- Ponytail girl: She was relevant a tiny bit I guess but uh not really. She doesn't have much of a character other than that her dad makes bread. Uhhh next.
- Hagita: The standard 2016 model of glasses-kun, comes with every feature you'd expect to come with your glasses-kun. Literally miles ahead of every character in the show.
- Black haired girl: uh yeah she was there.
- Enjoyment - 1
- Man this show was really fucking dumb and boring, my only enjoyment from it was the fact that I was simulcasting it.
- Overall - 2
- It was fucking shit.
- Thank you for reading if you made it this far. Feel free to disagree and feel free to love Orange, I just thought I'd get a contrasting opinion out there.
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