I really hate dealing with recruiters.

My wall of text regarding the Fun and Games with contract job recruiters. These are just the ones I remember....


***

Early 2001, I had a recruiter from Florida call me about a field service job. I don't remember the name of the company, except that it was "Get to Work" or "Go to Work Inc" or something sort of-silly. He emails me and we chat on the phone, he closes by asking me for a picture because he likes to know who he's dealing with. Fair enough, I tell him that I don't have a digital camera (they had just become cheap enough that you could get one with more than 640x480 resolution for a few hundred dollars, and I purchased one later in the year) but my folks had one for their business and I would use it in a couple weeks when I visited them.

I spoke with recruiter a lot over the next week while he waited for hiring guy to be free. Most of the stuff he talked to me about was not of use - he would send me this big long presentation for some other client he had in the past (not remembering that Word keeps personal information) and then try to quiz me on it - I wasn't interviewing for a sales job and none of it was helpful. He'd get a bit upset, ask me if I'd even read it, and then ask me for a picture. (You get that picture yet? No, what did I tell you before?) Every. Single. Time. The Picture. Towards the end it was getting creepy...

Well, finally I got to do a phone screen with the hiring guy. It went ok, and he told me he'd contact recruiter with the location and stuff. Turns out he wanted to interview at some coffee shop at 6AM in a rather weird part of town. Looking back, that's probably not an issue, he wouldn't have an office being a field rep that works out of his van, but at the time I was a bit worried (especially after creepy recruiter dude) so I called the guy's cellphone which he had given me in case of questions, told him that I just didn't think this was for me, and I wanted to cancel. He was cool with that and thanked me for letting him know in advance. Since it was later in the day, I figured I'd call recruiter the next day.

Recruiter calls me before I could call him, and says "So, you didn't go to the interview because you overslept!" "Uh, no... I called guy yesterday and told him I was no longer interested because this whole process has been a bit off-putting." "Well, I was told you were sleeping..." "Well, that's not the case, thank you, I'm sorry we couldn't work out something, goodbye."

I immediately called hiring guy back and explained to him what happened. He seemed a bit taken back, and said that he'd just told recruiter that I was no longer interested and was moving on to the next recruit. I thanked him and moved on. That job may have been ok, but the whole thing was just weird.

***

At this point I'm getting all kinds of recruiter contacts. The company that emails me "We were unable to contact you at your phone number, please email us your resume..." was ignored, as I didn't have a phone number on my resume. (I did contact them once, but they told me I needed to come in, and refused to tell me anything else. No thanks.) The company that requires you take their assessment test before they will even tell you why they called, nope. The "We were unable to download your resume, please email a copy to..." Really? You're that inept? The local that wants you to come in to discuss opportunities, then when you get there tells you they don't have anything right now, they just wanted to meet you, never again, please don't bother me. And finally, the idiots emailing me with Yahoo.com (Thanks Harvey, your email was hacked,) SBCGlobal.com, rr.com, or god forbid, that one in Pennsylvania trying to contact me about a $10/hr. job in Conshohocken (It's a great job!) using an AOL address... No, no, no!

***

Next in line was an internal recruiter for some contract manufacturer in southern Kentucky - near Paducah, I believe. They contacted me with what was the worst-written communication I've ever received, worse than the one from a lighting company I recently dealt with. This one came to me with terrible everything. This was a while ago, but I remember the line "Would you be interested in speaking with you?" and the fact that the lady writing it spelled her name wrong - not "Suzanne" and "Sue," but "Szuanne" and "Suzanne." Overlooking that, I did a quick phone screen and they wanted me to come in for an interview. I said sure, we need to set up a time. "Oh, how about 4PM?" (It's now 2PM) - "You do realize that I'm in $city and you're in Paducah and they are 6 hours apart by car? "Oh, we can stay late, how about 5PM?" "I don't think this will work, thank you for your time."

Oddly enough, the next day the plant manager or some high-up guy emailed me, and we started the same conversation over. They wanted me to come in for an interview that evening, but I couldn't convince them that I was hours away from them and it would be an overnight trip for me. I had a few MORE email conversations with them, same thing, before I finally just said plainly, "I'm not interested. Please don't contact me again." I had suggested that I could come down Friday, do a late interview, and drive home Saturday if there was a way we could work out a motel or something, but that didn't seem to make any sense to them. (I see that manufacturer was eaten by a larger rival several years ago.)

***

A small recruiter that contacted me about a job with a Japanese automotive support company. Nothing was out of the ordinary, we discussed the job and pay and stuff. The pay he gave me was fine, I stressed that was the minimum I would take and anything less I would simply walk away. That was no problem, so we set up an interview. I went to it; it was a couple hours and very subdued in a Japanese way. I evidently passed, the recruiter called me the next day and was pleased to offer me the job at a pay that was $5k less than my minimum. When I asked "What happened here? You told me otherwise," his answer was "Things change, you know?" Sure do, but one thing didn't - I told him no and walked away.

***

A small recruiter shop contacts me about a position in a very rural part of the state. While the pay is good, I have no desire to move to an area where there are more cows than people, so I decline to even proceed. Recruiter calls me back a few hours later with the story that they talked to the company (I don't remember authorizing this) and said that they like what they see in my resume, and that if they do make me an offer it's going to be about $3k higher than the first number. Well...That's past the comfort zone and into the "Nice!" zone, so I take the interview. It goes well, it's a cool little place, and we all get along well, but I notice my resume has been edited heavily, and when I present them with a fresh copy they seem a bit concerned. That made me wonder, but everything else was excellent.

Recruiter contacts me the next day and says that they like me and want to talk about a position. Great! I ask "Well, sure. I'd like to work with them for a day so we can make sure it's all good. This is on my dime." Company and recruiter both agree, and company is excited to have me in for the day. Well, it all goes excellent, and I even get a nice lunch out of the deal. Recruiter calls me back after a few days, says they want me to come in and talk about a job.

I tell the recruiter that you can just give me the offer over the phone. They refuse to do so, and insist that I come in. As I hang up, a co-worker (who was also looking to get out) looks at me and says "They wouldn't talk to you on the phone, would they? They're going to low-ball you." Hmmm...

The recruiter office was literally on the next cross street from my residence, so I stop by on my way home and talk to them. Sure enough, the offer came in $2k lower than what they offered the first time I turned it down. When I mentioned this, they got kind of upset and insisted that it was a good job, the real deal, etc., etc., etc. and that they would help me get moved and sell anything I needed to dispose of and so on and so forth. I told them I simply wasn't interested but they kept trying to get me to take the job. I finally managed to get out of their office, leaving two very PO'd people behind.

The next day, I called the company and spoke with the owner, who had told me to call him with ANY concerns. When I discussed the previous day's events with him, he was rather surprised that I had even been given an offer beforehand. He explained that he and the people at the shop had come with him from a larger corporation to start a small business, and that I would have been his first outside hire. He didn't have a clue on salary, so did some research and gave the recruiter a range - the top end having been the number I was given. He also explained that recruiter had contacted him looking to hire him away as a salesperson, since he was both the owner and primary salesperson. He understood why I didn't accept it at the time and we parted ways on good terms.

Within a half hour, the recruiter was calling me, hopping mad. I never heard so many euphemisms for "you messed up" (you really upset the apple cart here! is one I remember...) as I did that day. They were just as upset as you could be, and told me the company was mad as hell too, and that they withdrew the offer and that we were finished and they would NOT be calling me again. Hour later, I'm getting called by recruiter who was a bit calmer and explained that the company had re-instated the offer because they wanted me for this position. At this point, I'm just going "yah yah sure, thanks for your time, g'bye." Recruiter talked to me a few more times trying to get me to take the job, all the while explaining how good it was and crap, and I basically just ignored them until they stopped and went away.

Company did eventually offer me a similar position 6 months later, but there was simply too much baggage attached to the job at that point. Company owner did tell me that the recruiters had been real shysters in the whole process. I think it soured him on the whole contract thing because they now only hire direct.

Recruiter, on the other hand, told me that they would not be speaking with me again. Less than a year later, I'm getting calls from them, pumping me for information about my current position, asking me what software packages we use, and then all but calling me a liar when I said I didn't know, wasn't my division. Last contact I had with them was on LinkedIn where they were trying to sell me (generically, as in a blast-out message) on a position, closing with "How about it?" They still appear to be around, finally abandoning their cheesy slogan-laden website for something that looks a bit more professional.

***

There's a rather large recruiter here that is very good at putting butts in seats for technical positions, because they are very aggressive in their tactics (and tend to get people way under budget.) I had dealt with them a few times in the past, usually with a "You're great for this opening, we are setting up an interview with the company now, just hold tight!" and you never hear from them again until next time, lather, rinse, repeat.

The first time I had any real inkling of their lies was when I had an interview with a manufacturer of temperature control products. This was a satellite office, so there was one HR guy that handled everything. This was a direct interview, but a co-worker had been dealing with large-recruiter who, as you could probably guess, told him that he had an interview with this company and they were simply waiting on confirmation. I did my interview with a bunch of people and it went great. At the end, I wound up back in the HR office, and we chatted for a while. One of the questions he asked was "Is anyone else at your current company looking?" "Yes," I told him very confidently. "Well, how do you know?" I pointed to my friend's resume on his desk, with large-recruiter's logo on it. "This is my co-worker. He's really excited to have an interview up-coming with you." HR guy looks at it, frowns, and says "I'm not taking any recruiter offered resumes right now..." Oh, really. We conclude after a while, I leave, and the next day I tell my friend what happened. He's pissed, but large-recruiter won't return calls (surprise!) I didn't get the job, probably a good thing as company closed that location soon after. HR guy called me, apologized, and said that while everyone liked me and I was THE choice, large-recruiter had convinced higher-ups to take their candidate because he was cheaper than my already bare-minimum offer. The guy was a fresh grad, and was in over his head quickly in this position, and mutually left the company within a year.

Next was a company that made electrical control products. Initially, they contacted me in October, and of course after the "We're just confirming things now," they clammed up. January rolls around, and I somehow get connected with them again, we discuss the position from October, and they are asking me if I'm interested. Sure...

This one I thought I had all the bases covered. I was told it was contract to hire, gave them my desired (and the minimum, would think about this job on some snowy Tuesday in July 20 years from now wage which they insisted on, would not take the same as the desired) pay, and what I expected from this offering. Turns out they did have an interview for me, which I passed easily. Normally, they give a simple electrical test, but the hiring manager basically pushed that aside and told me I had already demonstrated what he needed to know. I had a second interview, more in depth, and that also went well (and allowed me to get the umbrella I had left there before!)

So... all the while, the recruiter is telling me that I need to give my current employer my two weeks’ notice, before anything is signed. That gets real old, quick, so I figure something is up. I thought I had everything checked, but when the offer comes in, it's a plain contract, and the pay is the absolute minimum to the penny. When I called the recruiter on this, there was already someone on the way to collect my papers. I questioned them about the contract terms and pay, they got a bit upset. Well, they USUALLY hire after nine months or so, and the pay is what you told us you'd accept. No, this was contract to hire, not contract to maybe, and I told you what I expected. After seeing the position, I expect more. Well, this didn't set well with them, they got very angry and told me that we were done and that they did not plan on contacting me again for any positions, as I was now blacklisted with them. Guy that was coming to get my paperwork called me too, he was mad and didn't understand why I didn't call him first. Well, is there negotiation on this? No? Well, then sure thing dude, thanks for nothing. (I can understand why paperwork guy was mad, it was a long drive. But I don't feel too terrible because what they offered me was basically a lie.)

Well, it wasn't but a short time later they were calling me asking for references for a friend, calling me about positions with that same electrical manufacturer many many times (which I declined to even look at,) and calling me for positions with the temperature controls manufacturer - that one twice. Once for the position I had interviewed for originally, which I declined to peruse due to wages, drive time, and the obvious fact that the company was going under. When I declined, they immediately started telling me about how much overtime I could work, and that would help make up for things. Sure, guys, I interviewed there before, remember? I know they DON'T work overtime, that it's 9-5 shop, and they are VERY proud of that. This was confirmed by friends working at the place. Second one was for a mechanical engineering position, which I am not in any way qualified for, but took the interview just to get a contact and some practice. I mentioned my lack of skills to the recruiter, but they insisted that the company would understand if I didn't have all the skills they wanted. Interview was over in 5 minutes when screener read my resume, said "You're not mech, are you?" "Nope, but recruiter says...." I think that he had seen several that day by the tired sound in his voice.

They've called me many times about positions with the electrical manufacturer, in some cases about similar ones to the first time we had dealings. As the company is in a lot of turmoil and has been shedding people like crazy, I've declined any interviews with the place, much to their dismay. I need to stop taking their calls, as they've done some other shady things, like ferreting out my current employer and trying to pump them for contacts and contracts as well...

***

Small recruiter calls with a position with a components manufacturer. I look at the job and immediately can tell they are looking for managerial people and not technical people, to which the recruiter replies that it's more of a generic description for the job. So, I take the phone interview, which is over in 5 minutes - yes, the company is looking for a technical manager, not a technical associate. When I call the recruiter back and talk to him, he's excited and wants to know how it went. Well, I re-iterate that yes, they indeed wanted a manager, not a technician. Recruiter is glum and states "Well, I'm an economics major so I really don't know a lot about technical things..." Good-Bye.

***

A recruiter from New Jersey emails with a vaguely technically related position, but it's worded like someone saw the requisition and tried to re-write it from memory without understanding technical stuff - or even basic writing style. I emailed back, asking for more information, but never got a reply.

At that time, there was a website that you could post recruiter experiences on, so I posted my experience with this one. That opened a shitstorm of replies from different "people," all written in the same poor style. The did everything from criticize my analysis of the writing style, saying stupid things that modern technology like BlackBerries (which correct spelling) sometimes let people write poorly-composed messages, and getting angry that I thought I deserved a reply to my request for more information and that maybe I wasn't interesting to them (you called me, remember?) The best ones were where someone claimed to have used this recruiter and that because the recruiter had won awards from organizations (which didn't exist,) they were a great recruiter and I was unfairly calling them out. It got to the point where the site owner called out all the writers as the same person, told them that while the initial critique could have been presented better, the responses were nothing but childish and that they were now blocked.

The last reply in the thread was from yet another writer with the same poor style, a "Mr Tortelli" indicating that he would never use that website for any reason, ever. While the website for the recruiter is now gone, there is still a LinkedIn presence, and the email address is $company@aol.com....

***

A recruiter contacted me for a job at a radio components manufacturer. I'd been contacted about this position before, but as it required an entry test, I'd ignored it. The position I had was becoming terrible, so I decided what the heck, why not drive the two hours, take the test, and see what happens. I passed it with no issues, drove there again to interview, and was offered a job.

When I was touring their facility, the one thing I noticed was that everyone in the shop was new, like young fresh graduate new. Some of the engineering staff were older, but a lot of them were new looking as well. There was an alarming amount of empty offices looking as if they'd been recently abandoned. I noted all that and went on with my interview. Last person I spoke with was an HR person. We chatted about my expectations and the company's expectations, and I asked if there was any kind of relocation offered. She brightened, said "Yes, that would depend on where you're coming from and the position. I'll work on that and let you know Monday - if you don't hear from me please call!" Sure, thank you!

Monday rolls by and I hear nothing, so I leave a voice mail for the HR person which is never returned. By this time, the recruiter has called me and indicated that I was being offered the position, however, it came in at a lot lower than I thought it should. Low enough that there was no way I could pick up and move. I told the recruiter this and said that if the pay would increase at the hiring point, and benefits were good, I could consider. Well, that was a trigger point, because recruiter got mad and told me that I was on their contract, and that I would not get any of that stuff. They WOULD give me money pre-tax for a place to live, but it would have taken a lot of the pay offered to get even a mediocre apartment close to the job.

I indicate to the recruiter that there's simply no way I can take this position without knowing everything about what will be offered (you don't get benefits, you're contract!) and the recruiter starts to get upset that I keep asking about that. They indicate that they're not sure why I want to know, and the company doesn't understand why you need to know, and the pay being offered is more than you make now, what's the deal? Your contract, you don't get that yet, we've never had anyone ask about this stuff...

Whoa whoa whoa, we've never discussed my current pay, so I'm not sure where that came from. It's actually less, and I'm still waiting on HR person to call me back. Well, apparently, Friday had been HR person's last day...no wonder she was so happy to tell me what I wanted to hear! There wasn't any relocation.

We traded a few more emails back and forth, but it degraded into an argument. I finally did get benefits info, but they were nothing special and I re-iterated that the pay sucked and I would not be taking this position. Recruiter insisted that it was more than I made now and they just could not understand why I needed to know all this stuff, no one had EVER asked them before.

Epilogue: Turns out that people had been leaving this company at a pace that left flames in the parking lot, which is why I had received so many contacts regarding it. Apparently, the higher-ups had hired a bad manager who was making the place miserable, and people were leaving - taking their knowledge with them and eating the company out from within. A year or two after I interviewed, said bad manager was fired.

The position I had been trying to leave finally laid me off, and then hired someone else a short time later when things picked up again. This person was one of the people that left company I had just interviewed with! Well, the manager I left was just as bad, and when new guy's old job called back and said bad manager was gone, please come back, he packed his stuff up, told bad manager "I quit, seeya." The manufacturer was acquired by a larger rival a few years later.

***

A government contract company contacted me via a recruiter for a test position. We got off to kind of a rocky start trying to coordinate everything (there was a lot of WTF on the recruiter's part,) but finally I managed to get an interview set up, after being blown off "Well, the team is out this week," "Well, they can't do it Friday because everyone is at a funeral," "Well, we wanted to do it last week but you d..." Sure, whatever. The interview was a panel of 3 people. After we introduced ourselves, the first thing out of one of the interviewer's mouths was "ha ha ha We don't have those $localsportsteam down here! ha ha ho" - I could only imagine some obese man barely sitting in a chair, laughing at everything he said. Anyway, the interview went ok, and the recruiter wanted to set me up with an in-person interview. We agreed on a time, and I arranged flight information with the understanding it would be reimbursed.

I knew some people in the city in question, so I figured I would visit them as well - even if the interview was a bust. I never heard back from the recruiter, and they never returned my calls, so I took my flight, visited my friend, and came home. Finally got hold of the recruiter, asked "What happened?" "Well, you were being difficult, so they decided not to interview." Excuse me? Well, they just decided not to interview you. "This is after you told me it was a go and I arranged a flight?"

Well, I had the number to the company's HR person, so I called her and asked "What?" She said that they had already found someone local, and were kind of confused as to why I was coming out. I mentioned that I was looking forward to this interview because the pay was $X and it seemed like a great position. She told me that no, the pay wasn't $X and the guy that was vacating the position had been in it for year was only making maybe 3/5 that. Ah. I thanked her and thought no more of it.

***

Last one is not a bad recruiter, they were honest with me. A local manufacturer of battery and power equipment had a position that opened 2-3 times a year. They wanted a person that was completely responsible for the product lines in-house, everything from test equipment programming and jig building, people managing, product management, shipping, test, troubleshooting, design validation, and so on - everything that wasn't engineering or HR was this person's responsibility. The pay? About $26k per year. The company was well known for underpaying people, even in higher-up positions.

Right before they were bought out and consolidated, a local recruiter called me about this position. I told her that I already knew about it, and that the pay was so low as to be an insult. She asked me what I would want for such a position. I told her that the shop manager here made at least $50k, so with all those duties it should be more than that.

She sighed and said that they (the recruiter) had been telling this company for a couple years that they needed to raise pay or change duties to get anyone worth a damn stay in the position. The company just outright refused. She thanked me, and I thanked her for being honest with me, and we went our ways.

I had a chance to review resumes for my current employer - a good portion of them had this position on them, the longest being 6 months.