Chronosanimosity

Twi VS The Forces of M.U.P.P.E.T.!

Aug 1st, 2015
989
Never
Not a member of Pastebin yet? Sign Up, it unlocks many cool features!
  1. Trip code: Chronos !!g8xpjZNsOzj
  2.  
  3. >Your consciousness fades in slowly, then all at once.
  4. >You don't remember how you got here, or where here even is.
  5. >Okay Twilight, let's identify your surroundings.
  6. >There's a vast field of grass, a hill with a large tree, and... that's it.
  7. >Not much to go off of, but at least there's a landmark.
  8. >You warily make your way forward towards the tree.
  9. >As you walk, it's clear the gravity is all wrong here. You can't feel any weight in your steps at all.
  10. "Where the hell am I? This place seems familiar, but life shouldn't even be possible on a planet with such low mass!"
  11. >It doesn't take long to reach your destination, only once you've arrived do you see what's waiting for you.
  12. >A ragged man with a beard is sitting patiently by the base of the tree.
  13. >Actually, patience may be the wrong word. The poor guy is sweating bullets.
  14. >"Twilight, no time to ask questions! Trust only the man with no face, they're after you and only you can fight them!"
  15. "There's so many things wrong with that sentence I don't even know what to question first! First of all YOU have a face, so why should I trust you? Second who's after me? And most importantly WHERE THE HECK AM I?"
  16. >"I said no time for-"
  17. "Oh yeah and who told you my name?"
  18. >"FINE! Trust SOME people with faces and if I told you their name it would raise more questions. The last two will become obvious soon."
  19. >Before you could continue your game of 20 questions, the gravity completely cuts out.
  20. "Whats going on?!"
  21. >"Keep your guard up Twilight! Don't forget to-"
  22. >Your body smacks against something hard.
  23.  
  24. >You awaken with a jolt as your face bounces off the floor.
  25. "Ow! What's going...on?"
  26. >Before you can get your bearings, you're greeted with a loving good morning kiss from you're favorite boy.
  27. "Spike! Did you push me out of bed you little ass hole?!"
  28. >"Woof woof!"
  29. >He's not even slightly sorry, he just wants food.
  30. >You pry yourself from the floor and begin your morning routine. Feed Spike, bathe, brush teeth.
  31. >You're not particularly obsessed with staying clean, but showers feel nice. Plus they help you think.
  32. >Mulling over the dream, you're pretty sure it was nothing. You recognize the grassy field/tree combo from one of your old N64 games, and the dialogue was laughable at best. Probably just your subconscious trying to prepare you for today.
  33. >After all, today was going to be the day. You were finally going to confront him!
  34. >You fix your hair into a neat bun using your mirror, noticing a tiny red waterfall coming out of your nose.
  35. "Figures, stupid Spike!"
  36. >Spike hears his name and rushes over as you stuff toilet paper in your nose to soak up the blood.
  37. "I swear, if I had any other friends you'd be on the street in an instant!"
  38. >"Bark!"
  39. "Yeah you're right, I'd come crawling back in an hour."
  40. >You carefully get dressed, doing your best to keep blood off of your clothes, and head out for school with some toast.
  41. >It's just like one of your Chinese cartoons!
  42. >Half ironic is still ironic right?
  43.  
  44. >Crystal Prep is in easy walking distance of your house. There's a bus that most students take, but screw busses.
  45. >You'll take exercise over that wild west harassment any day.
  46. >After a few minutes you make it to the gates, which are literally covered in crystals that serve no purpose.
  47. >Real crystals, like imported from caves and cost the school a fortune crystals.
  48. >You know it's supposed to be impressive, but it's really just a horrible waste of funds.
  49. >At least the rest of the "crystal" around the school was just the glass variety, still stupid but whatever.
  50. >The gate opens for you automatically when it detects your ID badge.
  51. >"Welcome to Crystal Prep! GOOOOOOO SHADOWBOLTS!"
  52. "All hail the jocks! God knows a private schools only pride should be sports!"
  53. >You roll your eyes and make your way into the school.
  54. >Your parents sent you here for the college level programs, but the athletes got a free ride as long as they kept winning.
  55. >Or as they spin it, "Donations go towards the teams education."
  56. >You've done the math, the schools making bank every game on tickets alone.
  57. >You rip a Shadowbolts flyer off your locker and grab your books.
  58. >You don't even care anymore, let those idiots skate by. You don't have time to worry about those jocks.
  59. >A warm body slams into you as you close your locker.
  60. >"Oh! Sorry, I'm late to track practice! Bye!"
  61. "U-UH, Y-YOU TOO!"
  62. >Okay you might be worried about ONE jock.
  63.  
  64. >You keep to yourself for the rest of the day, well more so than usual.
  65. >Seriously Twilight? 'YOU TOO!'? What kind of sperg actually says that?
  66. >Word must have gotten out too, because people have been staring at you all day.
  67. >Well too bad Sparkle, you decided today was the day and you'll be damned if you chicken out again!
  68. >Near the end of class you take a 'Bathroom break' so you beat the end of the day rush.
  69. >The only exit off school grounds is the gaudy front gate, you're going to intercept him there.
  70. >Your heart pounds as the bell rings, it's happening. You're doing this!
  71. >An ocean of students bursts out of the school, rushing the gate.
  72. >None of them are him though, he's hard to miss.
  73. >Fifteen minutes later you're still waiting, no one has exited the school in a while.
  74. "Guess I missed him? Well...I did my best! It isn't chickening out if I legitimately tried right?"
  75. >"This conversation sounds interesting, mind if I but in?"
  76. >Behind you is none other than Anon, coming back from the track field.
  77. "Oh! H-hi Anon, what are you still doing at school?"
  78. >Step one accomplished, a logical sentence. You're doing good Twilight!
  79. >"Uh, I was going to ask you that actually? You've just been standing here for like 20 minutes staring into space.
  80. "What? I'm... I mean, you answer first!"
  81. >"I was running, it's kind of my thing? You can see the gate from the track."
  82. >Of course, even when you plan it out you still spaghetti hard.
  83. "Also, nice look you have there. Upgrading from egghead to Eggman?"
  84. >What's that supposed to mean?
  85. >Oh god don't tell me.
  86. >You still have the fucking toilet paper sticking out of your nostrils.
  87.  
  88. >This is it, abandon mission.
  89. >You try to run away before you make an even bigger idiot out of yourself, but much to your surprise he grabs your arm.
  90. >"No no no! It was a joke Twilight, I swear I'm not actually an ass!"
  91. >Well, usually grabbing a girl who runs from you would prove otherwise.
  92. >You'll ignore that though. You pull out the bloody paper and throw it in a nearby trash can.
  93. "O-okay I guess. Um, so you actually know my name? I never really talked to you before."
  94. >"Yeah? We have English together, of course I know who you are."
  95. >Okay, maybe this is salvageable. Just keep it casual Twilight.
  96. "Uhhh, mmm... Anon? W-what are you doing after school?"
  97. >"You mean right now?"
  98. "Uh, yeah I guess that's right. Are you busy?"
  99. >He ponders for a moment, then shrugs.
  100. >"Not really. I could go for something to drink though."
  101. >This is it! He's putty in your hands! No level of sperg can stop you now!
  102. "In that case, would you like to... to come to my house and-"
  103. >A loud tearing noise bellows from the sky above you. There's some kind of portal forming.
  104. >Suddenly a masked figure lands solidly between Anon and you, and it looks like it's holding something?
  105. >Oh, that's definitely a gun. You can tell because it's being pointed at you.
  106. >"*Bzrt* SPARKLE, PREPARE TO BE PURGED!"
  107. >You close your eyes and wait for death. But death doesn't come.
  108. >Instead, you hear a loud clunking noise.
  109. >Opening your eyes, you see the person with the gun laying face down on the paved walkway, clearly alive but trying to get their breath back.
  110. "What the hell happened?"
  111. >"When a masked guy jumps out of a portal, you punch first and ask questions later!"
  112.  
  113. >Anon grapples the assassin while you wrestle the gun out of their hands. It's unmistakably a real weapon, but it doesn't look like any firearm you've ever seen before.
  114. >Before long he has them pinned with their arms behind their backs.
  115. >You try to look cool as you push the gun against what you think is their temple.
  116. "Tell us who you are or I blow your brains out."
  117. >Anon looks frightened, but he doesn't let up his grip.
  118. >"*Bzrt* Go ahead and try Sparkle! My suit is linked to my pulse, if I die the entire organization will be alerted!"
  119. >Shit, you don't know if they're bluffing or not.
  120. >You got lucky this time, but you can't beat more of these guys.
  121. >"So... All we have to do is keep you alive then?"
  122. >"...*Bzrt* I mean I'm calling them right now! Release me or my comrades will incinerate you like the trash you are!"
  123. >You knew there was a reason you chose Anon.
  124. "Can you keep them pinned for a few minutes? I'll grab some rope from the sports shed."
  125. >"Yes but make it quick, I'm exhausted!"
  126. >Returning with some jump ropes you tie up the assailant in an assortment of knots.
  127. >Who would have known that reading the big book of knots would actually come in handy?
  128. >Anon finally lets go, and luckily for both of you the ropes hold.
  129. >"Okay, lets see who this villain REALLY is?"
  130. >Wow, Anon is a dork. Who knew?
  131. >He pulls hard on the mask, but it doesn't come off.
  132. >"*Bzrt* Ha ha ha! Did you think i'd be demasked so easily? Not a chance, this thing can survive a bomb going off!"
  133. >You reel your foot back and land a firm kick to their ribs.
  134. >"*Bzrt* *Cough* *Hack* You bitch! I'll fucking kill you!"
  135. >They just squirm like a caterpillar stuck in a web.
  136.  
  137. >Whatever is going on here, it's clearly not something you can trust with the police. Your brother is a cop, you know how they operate.
  138. >But you can't stay here. You're lucky no one's noticed yet as it is.
  139. "Anon, do you have a car?"
  140. >"Of course, what kind of loser doesn't own a car?"
  141. >Ouch, that cuts deep.
  142. "We need to get this scene off school grounds, whatever this is you're a part of it now and-"
  143. >Anon throws the wriggling mass over his shoulder and starts walking.
  144. >"Skip it, you're wasting time lets just go."
  145. >That was... surprisingly easy?
  146. >You punch your address into his GPS as he begins driving. Looking back you still see no one, so hopefully no one called the cops.
  147. >"Okay now talk. What the hell happened back there? Whoever tried to kill you knows your name, is there anyone who wants you dead?"
  148. "Uh, besides the guy in the back seat? I don't think so? I really don't get out much!"
  149. >Now that you say it out loud, it's kind of pathetic. You have a trusty dog and your books but besides that... not much.
  150. >"So absolutely no idea who would go through the trouble to kill you, in public, and has access to high science?"
  151. >You try really hard to think of even one person, but honestly despite being antisocial you're really never mean to anyone.
  152. "Nope, I'm sorry. I'm just as confused as you are."
  153. >"*Bzrt* My kind will always hunt yours. It is our one true purpose!"
  154. "Okay, so throwing the obvious questions aside, what's with the voice modifier? I doubt I'd recognize your voice anyway."
  155. >"*Bzrt* It's critical to the mission Sparkle. Anything leading to my identity is to be concealed. I thought you were skipping obvious questions."
  156. "Okay, how about this one. What's your sex? Using generic pronouns is getting annoying"
  157. >"*Bzrt* I choose not to answer that."
  158. >"Then fuck it, the robotic ass hole is a dude. That work for you Twi?"
  159. "Yup."
  160.  
  161. >You arrive at your house in record time.
  162. >Imagine that, a car faster than your brisk walk. Alert the presses.
  163. >"Will we be fine bringing a tied up masked dude and a gun into your house? Won't your parents be freaked out?"
  164. "No parents, well I mean I HAVE parents, they aren't living here. I live on my own and they support me I guess."
  165. >"*Bzrt* I'd send you away too if I had the chance."
  166. >You ignore them and gesture Anon inside. Luckily the doorway is tall enough to accommodate them both.
  167. "We're heading down to the basement. Don't step on the dog, he will almost certainly try to be your friend but ignore him for now okay? This is life or death."
  168. >"Okay. But I reserve the right to play with your dog later."
  169. >"*Bzrt* I like dogs as well. I won't harm him."
  170. "That's nice, only really talking to my GUEST here but thanks for being a dog lover?"
  171. >"*Bzrt* You're welcome Sparkle. It is the only curtsy you will be getting from me!"
  172. >You lead him down to your room. As expected Spike flips his lid at new people but decides to spend most of his attention on the masked douche bag Anon throws on the bed.
  173. "Tell us why you want to kill me, or I'll break your knee caps."
  174. >Anon is starting to look uncomfortable again, so you give him a wink."
  175. >"*Bzrt* I am masked but not blind Sparkle. You wouldn't dare!"
  176. >You look to Anon.
  177. "Do you trust me?"
  178. >"Y-yes. I think so?"
  179. >You smile and dig around your desk until you produce a rather sturdy hammer.
  180. "One last chance, you can't appeal to my human side without a face. Either tell me or I'll assume your a robot."
  181. >Anon looks concerned at that last statement.
  182. "Oops, no offense Anon. I meant the mask, I'm not facist."
  183. >"*Bzrt* You're bluffing. You know I'm human! You don't have it in you Sparkle!"
  184. >You lift the hammer over your head and smash their left knee with all your might.
  185.  
  186. >"*Bzrt* YOU FUCKING PSYCHO, WHAT THE FUCKS WRONG WITH YOU?
  187. >Anon is also freaking out. You better not draw this out too long.
  188. "TELL ME WHO'S TRYING TO KILL ME OR IT'S YOUR OTHER KNEE!"
  189. >"Twilight this is going too far! We don't have to do this-"
  190. >"*Bzrt* That's it! Mission failure, self destruct activate!"
  191. >They roll out of the bed landing on their wrist. A light on their back activates.
  192. >...and instantly shorts out.
  193. >"*Bzrt* What the fuck?"
  194. "Did... Did you actually just try to suicide bomb us?"
  195. >"Wow, my punches are magic. I'm in the wrong sport."
  196. >Anon is rubber banding like a mother fucker, is it weird he's actually concerning you more than the masked menace?
  197. "Uh, anyway ready to talk yet?"
  198. >"*Bzrt* ...Yeah I really am. But I can't tell you my name, literally the mask doesn't let me. Just give me some fucking pain killers please."
  199. "Even better, I've wanted to test something I got a while ago... but I haven't exactly gotten hurt enough to waste it."
  200. >You pull out a Vial marked "T-17 'Miracle cure'" and put a dose into a syringe.
  201. "It was sitting in my mailbox one day with a note. It CLAIMS to heal any serious wound, lets see if it works!"
  202. >"*Bzrt* Wait is that 'Cure-All'? That shit is carcinogenic I don't want any!"
  203. "Too bad for you. For science Anon?"
  204. >He looks at the disgusting bend in their captives leg and nods.
  205. >"For science."
  206. >You plunge the syringe into their thigh, unsure if the needle will even puncture their suit.
  207. >Luckily for you, it seems to go through just fine. You're pretty sure the mask is the only real armor they're wearing.
  208. >After a few seconds, their leg regains it's shape.
  209. "Holy shit it worked!"
  210. >"How is that even possible, and who would give you that?"
  211. >"*Bzrt* I better not get fucking cancer I swear to god."
  212.  
  213. >Not wanting to lose your negotiation power, you get back into the heat of things.
  214. "Now, tell me everything you can or else."
  215. >"*Bzrt* Fine you monster. I am one of legion, a terrifying force dedicated to eradicating your filth from the multiverse."
  216. "Okay, that's something. Why me? I've never done anything to harm anyone... BEFORE breaking your knee cap."
  217. >"*Bzrt* I find that laughable, all Twilights must be purged. None are redeemable."
  218. >All Twilights? What the hell's that supposed to mean? The only other Twilight you've heard of was shitty fan fiction.
  219. >Actually you might be on to something.
  220. "Wait do you hate Twilight the person or all printed copies of Twilight the book? I didn't write the book."
  221. >"*Bzrt* NO! You, all of you specifically! Although under threat of having my legs broken I will admit your taste in literature is not under attack here."
  222. >Well thank god for that, I guess.
  223. >"What's the organizations name? Maybe they're famous or something?"
  224. >"*Bzrt* We are a proud, powerful organization. Our name strikes fear in your kind all across the multiverse! We are M.U.P.P.E.T!"
  225. >You raise the hammer over your head.
  226. >"*Bzrt* NO STOP I SWEAR WE'RE REALLY CALLED MUPPET!"
  227. >Anon stops you.
  228. >"Why would you call an organization Muppet?"
  229. >"*Bzrt* It wasn't my idea. Well, I mean, not really. I don't know it just stuck okay?"
  230. >You actually... feel kind of bad for them. They're pretty pathetic when their tech isn't working.
  231. "You know we can't let you go. We can't risk you calling your friends. But if you're willing to surrender I'm willing to talk."
  232. >"*Bzrt* What are your demands Sparkle?"
  233. "Not demands, conditions. I know a sure fire way to take you out of the equation either way. You either live here with me under my surveillance and live or..."
  234. >"*Bzrt* Or what?"
  235. >"I could just kill you."
  236. >Anon stays quiet.
  237. >"*Bzrt* You're bluffing, we've been over this!"
  238. "Do you REALLY want to see me 'Bluff' again?"
  239. >Their head turns slightly towards the hammer in your hand.
  240. >"*Bzrt* No thank you, I think I'll take prisoner over death. Prisoners can be rescued."
  241.  
  242. "Anon, can you lift them again?"
  243. >"Yeah, what are you going to do?"
  244. "I thought you trusted me Anon?"
  245. >"I... I do. I just have some reservations."
  246. "They surrendered, I'm not killing them, that's all you need to know. Now pick them up and follow me."
  247. >He does as he is told.
  248. >You lead them into a cold chamber with wires running through it.
  249. "Drop them in here and leave them. That's all you need to do.
  250. >"I'll still trust you after this, right Twi?"
  251. >He doesn't seem convinced.
  252. >"*Bzrt* Just do it you pansy. I'm fucked either way. I want to know what's up her sleeve."
  253. >He throws them in. A lot more violent than you intended but who are you to judge? You just broke their knee cap to prove a point.
  254. >You slam the door shut and pull the red lever.
  255. >You can both hear an audible scream for a couple seconds, more of an electronic wail than anything. Then silence.
  256. >"What the fuck was that?!"
  257. >You open the door and see them just lying there.
  258. >"I thought you said you wouldn't kill them! What are you going to do if they weren't bluffing?"
  259. >You bend down to the masked mans level and whisper to where you assume their ear to be.
  260. "Say. Your. Name."
  261. >"I can't, the helmet doesn't...let...me."
  262. >You smile ear to ear, pulling the gun off of your back and aiming at their head again.
  263. "LET'S TRY THIS AGAIN! Name! What's the organizations name short for? And take off your fucking mask!"
  264. >You pull the key rope and their binds loosen.
  265. >"N-name is Moondancer, member number M-888. I am rookie division in MUPPET..."
  266. >She pauses, surprised to be able to confess that much.
  267. "...Moondancers United in Persistent and Perpetual Eradication of Twilights!"
  268.  
  269. >She takes off her mask, revealing an face once forgotten.
  270. "WAIT! You're THAT Moondancer? I thought you-"
  271. >"Quiet Sparkle, how did you destroy my suit?"
  272. "Oh, that's simple. This chamber produces a self contained EMP burst. It wasn't it's intended purpose but... Not all of my experiments work as well as I'd hope."
  273. >Anon calls out from the chamber entrance.
  274. >"Okay, I am REALLY lost here."
  275. >"She's a genius you dip! They're all geniuses, even the stupid ones. They ALWAYS find a way."
  276. >You're not sure what's going on anymore, but you'll take that as a compliment.
  277. "Well, get up. I'm taking your mask and suit for analysis, you'll be borrowing my clothes until further notice. Welcome to your new home until I decide what to do with you."
  278. >"Wait that's it? What's even keeping me here when you're not around?"
  279. >You roll your eyes.
  280. "Oh no, I totally forgot that obvious hole in my plan! Tell you what, go on and run. You weren't blindfolded, go ahead and find your way out."
  281. >She hesitantly starts to walk, weary of her recently healed knee. After a little bit of testing it she bursts into a sprint out of the room.
  282. >"Should I stop her or?"
  283. "Nah we're good."
  284. >"How? You're not even doing anything!"
  285. "You'll see, or maybe you won't. Never dared to test the G.a.R.B.S.S on animals. I know it worked on fruit..."
  286. >After a few seconds of waiting, you both hear a thud in the next room followed by the door auto-locking from the outside.
  287. "Wait for it..."
  288. >"...REEEEEEEEEEEE!"
  289. "SHE LIVED! Spike you're getting a cube of steak tonight!"
  290. >"...Okay I'm stumped what the hell just happened?"
  291. "Garbss. Genes and Range Based Security System. All I need is a little bit of DNA and the system can lock on to their signature anywhere in the house. She tries to leave the house, she gets teleported back here. Spikes collar has a scanner built in for easy access. The syringe gave me all I needed."
  292. >Moondancer pounds on the door.
  293. >"WHY AM I NAKED?"
  294. "Oh! I'll put that in my notes! 'Doesn't teleport clothes.'"
  295.  
  296. >You walk with anon up to the front door, making extra sure to stop him before he exits.
  297. >After placing your hand on the wall next to the door, a basic menu shines through the wallpaper.
  298. "Anon, I want us to keep our trust built on mutual respect not fear. I'm removing you from the DNA system."
  299. >"Wait, you took MY DNA?"
  300. "No, SPIKE took your DNA. I mean, I fully intended for him to, but that was just in case you ran. I swear it was just so we could talk. I didn't know I'd have a murderer in my house when I left for school."
  301. >Anon glares at you. You're guessing he's not convinced of your motives.
  302. "Look, I'm trying to be transparent here. Now can you roll your tongue, or are you the one with an immunity to poison ivy?"
  303. >"What? Um... I don't know about poison ivy but yeah I can roll my tongue why?"
  304. "Got it, you're deleted from the system. You can leave if you want now... unless you wanna stay and chat?"
  305. >You grab the suit and helmet moon dancer was carrying from the doorway and step aside.
  306. >"Wait that's it? I help you kidnap and torture a girl and you're just letting me go?"
  307. "Yeah, i-isn't that the right thing to do? I-i've never really had visitors, am I supposed to insist you sleep over?"
  308. >"No, that's not... I meant what if I call the police?"
  309. "Then I'd probably go to jail? Either that or they'd think you were crazy."
  310. >You fiddle with your hands a bit. Now that the adrenaline has died down you're starting to get nervous again.
  311. >"Well... I have to reevaluate my life now. Maybe look into boxing. Have fun... doing whatever you do."
  312. "Wait!"
  313. >He pauses in place, most likely out of fear.
  314. >You grab a post-it note and scribble down your number.
  315. "I-in c-case you w-wanna chat? I have unlimited texting... but I don't use it much unless my parents need me. Please don't call the cops?"
  316. >He takes the number and leaves.
  317. >This is fine right? He took the number at least.
  318. >Now you just have Moondancer to deal with.
  319.  
  320. >You make your way back down to your basement. Honestly you should use the upper level of your house for more. Something just feels better about being underground.
  321. >You grab some old sweaters you haven't worn in ages and a few pairs of shorts. Equipping some trusty rubber gloves you also pluck the underwear out of the suit.
  322. >Holy shit, she's a D cup? Forget your experiments, this suit is the real science! She looked flat as a board before...
  323. >No, bad Twilight. No time for breast envy, this is your enemy!
  324. >Who looks just like... No.
  325. >You toss the suit and helmet in the closet and lock it, just in case.
  326. >She may have tried to kill you... but you tortured her and used her as a lab rat. Let's call that even?
  327. "Moondancer! I'm going to unlock the door and throw in some clothes okay? Don't do anything stupid or I'll have to kill you!"
  328. >"Yeah fine whatever! Just don't look!"
  329. >You press your hand on the door to trigger the auto-unlock. You should really install this feature on more doors, it's better than keys by a long shot.
  330. >You creep the door open and listen for sounds of movement. After a few seconds you throw the pile of clothes in and shut the door.
  331. "Okay go ahead and get dressed, then come on out. We have some talking to do!"
  332. >After a few minutes she opens the door and walks out. You pull out the gun as a precaution.
  333. >"Woah, calm your tits Sparkle I'm unarmed! What am I going to do to you?"
  334. >You suppose she has a point. You lower your gun and extend a hand.
  335. "Long time no see Moondancer."
  336. >"What the fucks wrong with you? Why would I want to shake your hand?"
  337. "I-I don't know! Isn't this normally what people do when they see an old friend?"
  338. >"F-Friend? I literally tried to kill you! You shattered my knee cap! That's not what friends do!"
  339. "Well... I didn't know who you were! It seemed like the right thing to do at the time..."
  340. >"If this is all you wanted I'd like to go back to my cell please."
  341. "No! I mean, I'm moving you to the upstairs. You'd get in my way down here."
  342.  
  343. >"So, let me clarify what your saying. You want me to just walk around, free range, in your house. The girl who's one and only purpose is to kill you. I just want to clarify how fucking retarded that is."
  344. "O-oh come on! Don't be like that. I'm sure we can work it out! Also... the GARBSS may or may not have self defense turrets as one of it's functions."
  345. >"...You're a fucking psycho!"
  346. "I am not! I just, I don't know. It's lonely living here by myself, talking to a dog all day and being shunned at school. Inventing stuff takes my mind off of it, but it's not good enough sometimes..."
  347. >You fiddle with your fingers again.
  348. "Plus.."
  349. >You limply raise the gun back up trying to appear threatening.
  350. "I wanted to ask you something, it might be stupid but... I really want to know. For my sake."
  351. >She looks at you with a tint of softness in her eyes.
  352. >"Yeah? What is it?"
  353. "Are... Are you MY Moondancer?"
  354. >She scoffs.
  355. >"I'm NOBODY'S Moondancer."
  356. "You know what I mean! You came from a portal, which universe are you from?! Are you the one from my universe?"
  357. >She clenches her teeth as she looks deep into your eyes.
  358. >"Yes. This is Universe 888, I am the Moondancer from this universe."
  359. >Tears form on your face as you drop your gun.
  360. >"Sparkle, what are you doing?"
  361. >"Twilight get away from me!"
  362. >"STOP!"
  363. >You wrap her in an embrace, letting yourself go.
  364. "I thought you were dead you bitch! How dare you! HOW FUCKING DARE YOU!"
  365. >She tries to struggle, but you hold her tighter.
  366. "I thought I killed you! You were going to let me try to kill you again! What the fucks wrong with you Moondancer!"
  367. >Her body shakes.
  368. >"You pushed me Sparkle! I had to... I thought we were friends! I trusted you! Why would you push me?!"
  369.  
  370. >You remember it like yesterday.
  371. >Both ten years old, it was Moondancers birthday party.
  372. >Your moms brought you to the science museum and let you explore together will all access passes.
  373. >All the exhibits where so cool. Dinosaurs, the bed of nails, water tornadoes, it was the best.
  374. >They even had a giant Tesla coil with a bridge over it, so you could get close without being hurt.
  375. >"Hey Twi! Look at it! Look at it! It's so pretty!"
  376. "It is! I love Nicholas Tesla, he was such a neat inventor!"
  377. >"He he, yeah!"
  378. >Moondancer shuffled closer to the railing and stared into the purplish pink lightning.
  379. >"You know... It kinda looks like your hair."
  380. "It does?"
  381. >You walked closer to her, staring into the glow.
  382. >"Yeah... But you're prettier."
  383. "What? T-thats silly! Don't joke like that!"
  384. >You swear you only meant to nudge her.
  385. >You didn't think she'd lose her footing!
  386. >She plummeted into the glass safety casing, and straight through to the coil."
  387. >The staff shut it down as fast as they could but... that was the last you saw of Moondancer or her family.
  388.  
  389. >Moondancer digs her nails into your back.
  390. >"I couldn't walk for a year! Even after that I was lucky if I could stay standing long enough to try! You put me through HELL Sparkle!"
  391. >You sob uncontrollably into her sweater. Tears and snot staining the collar.
  392. "I didn't mean to! I'm so sorry... Oh god I'm sorry!"
  393. >"Shut up! This isn't what I came here for! I... You can't reverse my suffering by apologizing! That's not how it works!"
  394. "I-I know! But I missed you so much! I never dared to make friends again after that!"
  395. >Moondancers legs go weak as her tears pool up.
  396. >"SHUT UP! It isn't fair! It's not fucking fair! You were supposed to be a bitch! I was supposed to kill you and get on with my life! WHY ARE YOU TORMENTING ME!?"
  397. >You both fall to your knees in a disgusting weeping mess.
  398. >Spike curls up with you both, licking the tears off of Moondancer's face.
  399. "Can you ever forgive me Moondancer? I swear I it was all an accident!"
  400. >She sniffles and trys to clear room for air.
  401. >"Yes I forgive you, you dumb cunt! Stupid bitch..."
  402. "That really doesn't sound like forgiveness."
  403. >"You forgive your way, I forgive mine Sparkle! "
  404. >You laugh painfully through your raspy throat.
  405. >Catching up on years of lost information in one night is hard, but you're willing to try.
  406. >After about one AM you decide that it's safe to sleep. Anon probably didn't call the cops, which is good.
  407. >You show your guest to her bed upstairs. You're pretty sure she won't kill you in your sleep?
  408. >Just going to lock the basement door to be safe.
  409. >What the hell are you even going to do tomorrow?
  410. >Ah fuck it. You've been through too much today. You'll just wing it tomorrow.
  411. >End of Day One.
  412.  
  413. >You wake up unceremoniously in the morning.
  414. >Spike's still sleeping by your face. A small part of you wants to push him off the bed to get even.
  415. >No... That would be cruel.
  416. >You get up carefully and go about your daily routine. Food in Spikes bowl, wash, brush.
  417. >Stomach rumbling, you decide to get something from the kitchen.
  418. >Upon getting upstairs, you're greeted by Moondancer in an apron.
  419. >Oh how the mighty have fallen.
  420. >"Your kitchen is filthy, what kind of scientist are you? If you don't keep yourself tidy you'll contaminate your tests."
  421. "So your...Cleaning my kitchen?"
  422. >"Fuck no, I'm not your maid. I'm making myself some pancakes."
  423. >Who uses an apron to make pancakes?
  424. >Whatever. You grab some left over steak from the fridge and take a seat.
  425. >Was eating steak cold weird? You know it TASTES better that way, but the jury is out on if it's normal.
  426. >You realize you never actually gave Spike that piece of steak you promised him, so you save the last bit with the fat for him and toss it in his bowl.
  427. >"So... Uh. How'd you sleep?"
  428. "Fine."
  429. >Master of conversation.
  430. >"Look Twilight, I know we got off to a rough reunion and everything... but I think this is a really good opportunity for us."
  431. "What's that supposed to mean?"
  432. >She sits down with a stack of pancakes about five high.
  433. >"You have a lab, at least I'm assuming you do. Some of your stuff works, but some of it doesn't right? Kind of a technology patch work across your house?"
  434. >Yeah, basically hit the nail on the head.
  435. >"Well I don't have anything anymore. I can't go back to MUPPET alive without your head, or at very least some kind of evidence I killed specifically "T-888". They really like the head thing though..."
  436. "Yeah well that's not happening, move on."
  437. >"I was getting there! Look, I just want to do something with my life. If I can't go back, why not move forward here? Share a lab, be partners?"
  438. "And what's stopping you from making a beacon to summon the rest of MUPPET?"
  439. >"The power of friendship?"
  440.  
  441. >You stare at her silently.
  442. >"I'm just shitting you. You have a radio in your left most room upstairs. I could have tinkered with it, called them any time, and they would have destroyed the entire house. You'll note the house is still standing."
  443. >Fuck, you are not the most careful planner are you?
  444. >"Look, once you've seen new planets you can't go back. I NEED to earn some freedom here, you have to understand that. I figure... If I help you maybe we can travel the stars together? Build a new friendship? What do you say?"
  445. "It sounds great, it's just, like REALLY sudden."
  446. >"Fine, whatever. Think it over though."
  447. https://youtu.be/tm_KnrP3iCI
  448. >Who's calling you? The numbers coming up Anonymous.
  449. >...
  450. >You are literally retarded oh my god.
  451. "Hey Anon, whats up?"
  452. >"Twi! Are you home?"
  453. "Uh yeah, why?"
  454. >"I'm coming in!"
  455. >You're pretty sure that's rude but whatever.
  456. >Anon nearly breaks your door when he comes in. The poor guy is pooling sweat under him.
  457. >"TWI! They're here! I saw some Muppets in town showing your picture around!"
  458. >Moondancer stops in mid chew.
  459. >"*mmf* WHAT?"
  460. "Moondancer? I know I shouldn't be surprised but... You betrayed me!"
  461. >"No, I swear I didn't! They must have taken the lack of signal as a flat line!"
  462. "Likely fucking story! Anon, grab her. We're going to my lab."
  463. >Anon nabs her and follows you down the stairs.
  464.  
  465. >You've never let anyone see your lab before... You were planning for Anon to be the first if everything had gone right yesterday.
  466. >Now he has to share that honor with Moondancer.
  467. "Here's my lab, yadda yadda, i'm not really feeling it today."
  468. >"Twilight I'm telling you I'm reformed! We had a fucking sobbing session and everything!"
  469. >"You guys had a what?"
  470. "Never mind Anon! Moondancer, if you're lying I'm fucked either way. If your telling the truth we have a solid chance. If we get caught I'm shooting you first. We have a deal?"
  471. >"You got it. Anon, let me go I think I can help!"
  472. >"No way! You're literally evil!"
  473. "ANON WE DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THIS! Let the girl go, tell me how much time we have until they find me!"
  474. >He sighs and lets her go. Moondancer runs rampant through your lab grabbing things from shelves you forgot you had.
  475. >"I'm guessing you have a while? No one seemed to know who you were, and I don't think I was followed?"
  476. >A loud crash comes from outside.
  477. "Yeah that's not much time."
  478. >"We won't need much time if you HELP ME!"
  479. >You rush over and help direct her to different compounds and tools.
  480. >She seems to be making some kind of bulb? You're not sure what it's for but she's putting all her time into it.
  481. >"Give me my gun."
  482. "What? Fuck no!"
  483. >She stares into your eyes, only about an inch away from your face.
  484. >"Mutual trust or we both die."
  485. "I'm calling the shots! Just get us out of here!"
  486. >"THIS IS NOT. FUCKING. NEGOTIABLE! Give me the gun!"
  487. >"(GaRBSS: FAILURE! BREACH!"
  488. >The ceiling starts to crack above you.
  489. >Moondancer isn't budging.
  490. >Anon puts his back to yours with his fists up.
  491. "Don't screw me Moony."
  492. >You hand over your gun.
  493. >Moondancer rips the core out of the gun and throws it at the wall, replacing it with the bulb she built.
  494. >"EVERYONE HOLD ON!"
  495. >"*Bzrt* I think I heard M-888!"
  496. >You and Anon grab hold of each other, and she grabs on to you and pulls you in close.
  497. >She aims the gun at her feet and fires, opening a portal.
  498.  
  499. >The trip through the portal wasn't quite instantaneous, but it almost was. You were conscious long enough to see billions of images flash before your eyes, then nothing.
  500. >When you blink, your in a forest surrounded by moss and frogs.
  501. >Anon and Moondancer are still clinging to you, no portal in sight.
  502. >She stands up silently and brushes herself off before offering you a hand.
  503. "What the hell just happened?"
  504. >"I told you, I was saving our lives. They won't find us here, I only know where 'Here' is by chance."
  505. >"How did you know that would work?"
  506. >Moondancer rolls her eyes.
  507. >"It's a PORTAL gun you idiot. Why do you think I aimed it at her head yesterday?"
  508. >"To kill her?"
  509. >"No! Well... Yes but to deliver her head to the MUPPETS as a sign of my success! Why would I waste a perfectly good Twilight head? Those things sell for billions to the right buyer!"
  510. "Is this really the best conversation to be having right now?"
  511. >"Yes actually, it really is! Do you know what I could have bought with that many credits? I gave that up for you!"
  512. >She pulls Anon up too.
  513. >"Don't you bastards forget that."
  514. >You wrap your arms around her.
  515. "I won't, I promise."
  516. >"Anyone mind if I just pretend to know whats going on in the future to just save time?"
  517. "Only when it comes to Moondancer. We're a team, that's all you need to know!"
  518. >Anon points to a frog.
  519. >"Are those poisonous?"
  520. >"Only if you eat them. I hear they literally taste orgasmic though."
  521. "Who told you?"
  522. >"My sister. You can use your imagination to fill in what happened next."
  523. >You and Anon look down in shame.
  524. >You only met her sister once, during your entire friendship with Moondancer. She just popped in at the party and said hi.
  525. >Still sad though.
  526. >"Uh, much more important question? Where's Spike?"
  527.  
  528. >Your heart sinks.
  529. "Moondancer, we have to go back!"
  530. >"Twi we can't! They'll kill us on the spot!"
  531. "You don't understand! He's all I have, he's practically my baby! I WONT leave without SPIKE!"
  532. >"Woof!"
  533. >That fucking bastard!
  534. >You turn around and see Spike cornering a tree frog several feet back.
  535. "SPIIIIIIIIKE! I'll fucking kill you if you scare me like that again!"
  536. >Anon snatches Spike up before he can bite the tree frog.
  537. >"I got Spike covered. lets get back to survival."
  538. >Moondancer shakes her head as she gestures you both forward.
  539. >"They wouldn't have hurt him anyway, We have- I mean THEY have a Spike adoption center back on home world. We aren't monsters."
  540. >You walk for what seems like hours in near silence, only ever speaking up to break awkward tension.
  541. >Moondancer eventually ushers Anon and Spike up beside her.
  542. >"Okay, so I know a lot about you. Maybe even a little bit more than I need to know."
  543. >She fucking winks at you. Way to be discreet you bitch!
  544. >"You do? How?"
  545. >"MUPPET basic training. Anons are a universal constant in every Twilight bearing universe, even the ones who never meet their Twilight have some kind of impact on their Twilight. You two are quantum entangled."
  546. >"So I'm like, the chosen one or something?"
  547. >"No, it's more likely a complete coincidence it was Anons at all. What I'm getting at is that you MIGHT see a different you on our adventure, and if you do it's fine to high five or whatever. On the opposite side of things... some might be our enemy."
  548. >Anon stops dead in his tracks, pausing the hike.
  549. >"What's that supposed to mean?
  550. >"It means, while we shouldn't have to kill any Twilights, you and I might have to fight ourselves. Better you find out now than in a raid."
  551. >"So, what? Am I supposed to be okay with killing myself? I'm not okay with killing ANYONE!"
  552. >Moondancer sighs and continues walking.
  553. >"Then let them kill you or torture you for information about your Twilight. Either way you'll be used for bait, then executed anyway.
  554.  
  555. >You remain silent, just following Moondancer through the brush.
  556. >Anon is keeping up, but he doesn't seem too happy about it.
  557. >"Look Anon, if we're lucky we won't run into any enemy Anons. They're the rarest threat we could run into really. I'm just trying to prepare you for the worst."
  558. >"Okay, then whats the current plan? Assuming everything goes as expected what are we walking into right now?"
  559. >"Another friend from U-888, Twilight might remember her. She's not a high constant, so the MUPPETS shouldn't check here."
  560. "Wait, who? You were my only friend..."
  561. >"She was that girl who was always obsessed with ponies. You know, the one who was WAY too obsessed with ponies? Turns out she was actually a magical anomaly. Switched at birth with U-888's sister dimension's Lyra Heartstrings. It's a long story, but basically she's a wizard or something."
  562. "Since when is magic real? Isn't 'magic' just unexplained science?"
  563. >"Only in some universes. Until U-889 leaked Lyra into ours that was the case, but once a hole opens between universes it's wild west rules. She used her magic to make a portal and moved here to U-649 where magic is at it's most potent."
  564. >Anon perks up.
  565. >"Wait, so are talking like Gandalf wizard here or like Maleficent sorceress shit?"
  566. >"Uh... honestly neither. More like fetishistic lesbian with a power trip wizard. She's a bit much at times but she can help us."
  567. >You have so many questions about that last sentence.
  568. >However when you turn the next corner your greeted by a large house in the middle of the woods.
  569. >"This is her place. Try not to touch anything, you don't know what it does or where it's been."
  570. >Fucking gross, but okay.
  571. >After a few knocks the doors glow teal and open on their own. Inside is surprisingly rustic and tidy.
  572. >You were expecting it to look like a witches sex dungeon the way Moondancer was talking about it.
  573. >"WHO DARES ENTER MY DOMAIN, MORTALS?"
  574. >"Just me bitch tits, calm down!"
  575. >"Oh, Hi Moondancer!~"
  576.  
  577. >The same teal glow from before envelops all of you, then in an instant you're in some kind of potions room.
  578. >In the center is a slender girl in what appears to be the biggest wizard hat in the known universe.
  579. >"Ooooooh you brought friends!~ Come to take up one of my... offers?"
  580. >Moondancer turns up her chin.
  581. >"Not a chance!"
  582. >You can't tell for sure from your position, but you're pretty sure shes blushing.
  583. >"Well that's a shame. I've had many dreams about you Twilight!"
  584. >Okay, now you're blushing too.
  585. "W-what? Don't talk to me like I'm some sex object!"
  586. >Lyra starts cackling.
  587. >"No no no! Like WIZARDY dreams! I'm all for a little fun Twilight, but you're not exactly wet dream material."
  588. >Everyone joins you in an awkward silence.
  589. "T-thanks I guess... who needs self esteem anyway?"
  590. >"Eh, don't listen to her Sparkle. She just has a twisted view on whats attractive."
  591. >"Hey! I assume you didn't come here to mock my tastes! Now what can I do for my favorite Moony pop!
  592. >Anon starts cracking up.
  593. >"Moony pop? Seriously?"
  594. >"Oh don't worry, you have a name too Nonny!"
  595. "Ooooh can I steal that?"
  596. >"Go for it Twi. But seriously either ask for a real favor or get out guys. I don't live out here for kicks, I have wizardy things to do!"
  597. >"We need a unicorn horn."
  598. >You and Anon look quizzically at Moondancer. Lyra however looks pissed as hell.
  599. >"ARE YOU KIDDING ME? A unicorn horn is worth almost as much as a Twilight head! Unless that's why you brought her here you can get the fuck out!"
  600. >Her eyes start glowing under her giant floppy hat.
  601. >This isn't good, this bitch clearly isn't stable.
  602. "Why do we even need a unicorn horn?"
  603. >"Honestly its just a convenience thing. This is a trade of sorts though Lyra!"
  604. >"What could you POSSIBLY trade me? Hell one of you is still in pajamas!"
  605. "I WAS IN A HURRY OKAY?"
  606. ndancer holds up her gun.
  607. >"I learned the quardinents of U-001 from MUPPET.
  608. >Lyra's wrath melts to overwhelming joy.
  609. >"DEAL!"
  610.  
  611. >Anon taps Moondancer on the shoulder.
  612. >"Which one's U-001?"
  613. >"The last known pony-verse thats still standing. Most were destroyed by a villain somewhere along the way."
  614. >Lyra is litterally floating on air and spinning around the room.
  615. >"It may not be U-889 but it's still a proper Equestria! I can finally live among my kind, AS my kind!"
  616. >She comes to an abrupt stop.
  617. >"Wait, if you know where U-001 is, why do you even NEED my prized unicorn horn?"
  618. >Anon raises his hand.
  619. >"I don't want to murder a Unicorn!"
  620. "I agree, that just sounds sad. I'll dissect a dead unicorn if the chance comes up though..."
  621. >Moondancer nods.
  622. >"Thats how I see it, unicorns never did anything to me. Although... the bigger picture is the gun only had enough power for one portal with what Twi had laying around. With a horn we can power it with magic."
  623. >Lyra zooms in inches of Moondancer's nose and stares her in the eyes.
  624. >"Pinkie promise?"
  625. >Moondancer swallows, then trys to gain her composure.
  626. >"C-cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!"
  627. >Lyra doesn't break eye contact for several seconds. Seemingly at random she gives her a peck on the lips then spins around again.
  628. >"Then what are we waiting for you big tease?! Take my horn, fuck it take my house! Just open that fucking portal already!"
  629. >She tosses Moondancer a greenish teal spiraled horn and a ring of keys.
  630. >Moondancer whipes her lips off with the back of her hand.
  631. >"I didn't say you could kiss me you cunt..."
  632. >Moondancer swaps some things around in her home made bulb and locks the horn into place.
  633. >"Everyone move back, unless you want to be a pretty pony!"
  634. >She shoots the portal into the floor below Lyra. Looking into it you can see its vibrant and full of horses.
  635. >Lyra sheds a tear, and lets herself fall through the portal big hat and all.
  636.  
  637. Silence falls across your group, except Spike. Spike is running around like the ball of energy he is.
  638. "S-so, we have a forest house now! That's, cool right? Did we need a magical forset house?"
  639. >"Thats up to you now Sparkle, here."
  640. >She tosses the gun to you.
  641. >"All I asked for was to be able to live my life of science. You can abandon me, or ask me to come with you, or go to the fucking orgy planet for all I care. The point is its your choice."
  642. "Why the sudden change of attitude? I trust you with the gun..."
  643. >"No, I won't carry it anymore. This isn't my mission to lead from here out. I feel safe here, I can do science, I can live a happy life. If you want me to help you it will be as a friend, doing a favor for a friend."
  644. >You have no idea why she's acting so nitpicky about this, but you guess its some Moondancer thing.
  645. "Uh... Okay then! As a friend, will you please tell me where would be the smartest place to go? A nice uh, friendly suggestion?"
  646. >She rolls her eyes.
  647. >"I set it to what I think is the society of Twilights. I'm assuming the note on the table back in U-888 was the one that came with the cure all right?"
  648. "The only actual letter I've ever gotten? Yes that was it."
  649. >"Then we'll either end up in "Scitwi" world, or the High society of Twilights. Either way you should probably hold me Anon."
  650. >"We're pretending you're captive?"
  651. >"Honestly, I don't know what the society does with my kind. They could offer me donuts for all I know. I'm just saying holding me captive might save me a laser to the skull."
  652. "Fair enough. But what do we do once we're there?"
  653. >"How should I know? They wanted you enough to give you a calling card you never bothered responding to. Maybe they throw welcome parties or something?"
  654. >"I wouldn't be against Orgy planet."
  655. >You both give Anon a look.
  656. >"She said it was an option!"
  657. "NO ORGY PLANET!"
  658. >"Fine, but don't look at me when the high society of Twilights is super boring."
  659.  
  660. >The high society of Twilights wasn't boring at all.
  661. >For Anon that is.
  662. >While he was hanging out with hundreds of local home world Anons and Twilights, getting compliments on his strong sleek physique, you were going through Twilight registration.
  663. >The lower council basically just asked Moondancer a few questions and gave her a guest bracelet.
  664. >You should have choosen Orgy planet.
  665. >>"Name?"
  666. "Twilight."
  667. >>"Sex?"
  668. "Female."
  669. >>"Preference on Universe code?"
  670. "Uh isn't it U-888?"
  671. >>"It is now T-888. Welcome to the home world, hope you enjoy your stay.
  672. >Stupid fucking Twilight asking you your name, they know damn well your name is Twilight.
  673. >When you meet back up with Anon, he's surrounded by five Twilights and one Moondancer.
  674. >"Oh, hey Twi! Look, they have a sexy librarian version of you!"
  675. "That's nice Anon."
  676. >Looking her over, she's litterally identical to you except her librarian clothes.
  677. >You blush a little bit. Even if it wasn't directed at you, you'll take the compliment anyway.
  678. >Fucking other Twilights though are drooling all over him. Their Anons are just sitting on a bench talking about whatever Anons talk about.
  679. >Moondancer is eating a lollipop shaped like your face, and holding an Anon balloon.
  680. "Having fun Moondancer?"
  681. >"The whiplash is starting to get to me, I think it didn't hit me until right now how fast I went from trying to kill you to litterally sucking on your face on a planet covered by thousands of you. I DON'T KNOW HOW I FEEL TWILIGHT! I think its good? I could get used to it."
  682. >You're not sure if she's going crazy, or becoming sane.
  683. "Well, I've been clued in on the current events of being Twilight. I think I saw a Twilight that looked kinda like Donald Trump doing a meet and greet. Not sure what thats about but I told her she had my vote.
  684. >>"You guys should rest in the Twilight resort, first times free!"
  685. >You spend the night getting pampered by Anons.
  686. >It's a good night.
  687. End of day 2
  688.  
  689. >Small crusts fall from your eyes as you awaken.
  690. >Man, yesterday was shit. Minus the ending when you all got pampered by masseuse Anons.
  691. >You could get used to this place if you could afford to come here every night. Is it possible to live without a head? Is that something Twilight science can do?
  692. >The only real downside was the room deal, apparently it's really rare to have a non-anon with you. You and Moondancer had to share a bed.
  693. >Speaking of which, she snores worse than Spike with a cold.
  694. >She's currently wrapped around you and snoring into your boobs. You would move her, but Spikes curled up right behind her back.
  695. >To be honest though, it's kind of nostalgic. The two of you used to cuddle all the time at sleep overs and stuff.
  696. >You guess all things considered, you'd actually rather be avoiding a deadly organization with friends than going back to your old life without friends.
  697. >You're parents will probably think your dead though... That's going to suck.
  698. >A knock rings out from the door.
  699. >>"Hello, this is your morning wake up call. I'm sliding your complimentary Spike food through the Spike door."
  700. >Spike springs awake and rampages over to his food bowl.
  701. >Anon and Moondancer spring awake next.
  702. >"*Yaaaaaaawn* I had the best dream... The beds at Muppet weren't even half this comfy."
  703. >"Eh, it's smaller than my bed at home. At least I didn't have to share though."
  704. >Moondancer crawls out of bed, breasts swaying back and forth under her only tank top as she moves.
  705. "Oh, I know what we can do today! Lets try to earn some money so we can get supplies!"
  706. >Moondancer raises a bushy eyebrow as she ties up her hair.
  707. >"Or I could just pull some credits out of the atm and we do something interesting instead."
  708. "But what about Anon and I? We don't have any credits!"
  709. >"Actually I got all my money switched over yesterday."
  710. >You literally have nothing to your name besides your pajamas.
  711. >The Twilife isn't easy.
  712.  
  713. >Anon comes up with the obvious idea of raiding the new forest house for valuables.
  714. >Luckily the MUPPETS didn't find the place over night.
  715. >Merchant Twilights were more than happy to pay top dollar for the magic shit you had no use for, and Lyra actually had some normal clothes that fit you.
  716. >Anon even discovered a real bag of holding in the mess of enchanted items.
  717. >By noon you were swimming in credits! Well, peanuts in comparison to the rich Twilights. For your ragamuffin group though it was LIKE being rich.
  718. >Besides stocking up on new clothes, you and Moondancer stock up on lab equipment and general supplies. Anon stocks up on weapons.
  719. >In the end you basically turned the forest house into an incognito fortress of death.
  720. >You decide to spend the rest of the day with Moondancer in the lab while Anon borrows the portal gun.
  721. -----------------
  722. >Be Anon
  723. >You appreciate the girls want science time, but honestly you'd be a third wheel.
  724. >Twilight seemed disappointed, but what could you even help with while she has Moondancer there...
  725. >Whatever, who needs them? You have Twilight world to explore!
  726. >>"Hey A-888! Welcome back!"
  727. "Hey Anon...?"
  728. >>"A-307."
  729. >How am I supposed to know that?
  730. >You decide to head to Twiley World, the inter-dimensional biggest Twilight themed park.
  731. >Why does everything need to be Twilight themed?
  732. >Would a six flags or a McDonalds be too much to ask?
  733. >Whatever, you guess you're just nitpicking. After all it is really cool to see stuff themed after you as if you were some movie star.
  734. >Oh, well actually several of you are movie stars. You remind yourself to see a movie in the Twilight dome while you're in Twiley World.
  735. >You feel bad for the girls actually. This place is literally like Disney world only bigger.
  736. >Maybe you should bring Twi here sometime...
  737. >Actually that settles it. You're heading in for the night, theme parks alone are lame anyway.
  738. >You grab one of those hats with the fuzzy balls on the top and shoot a portal.
  739.  
  740. >Be Twilight
  741. >You and Moondancer have just finished installing some of your better ideas, along with many of hers, in your new house.
  742. >You've also learned through Bio-analysis that the frogs in the woods are pretty much only toxic to humans, and from a book on the native life you feel pretty safe letting Spike be an out door dog for once in his life.
  743. >Things are really looking up!
  744. >A portal opens up in the middle of the entry way, spitting out Anon.
  745. >Oh my god he's wearing a cute hat. What a fucking dork.
  746. "Heeeeey Anon! Nice hat!"
  747. >"Thanks, what have you girls done with the place?"
  748. >"G.a.R.B.S.S. 2, Electric Scootaloo edition. Got rid of the flaw where coming from above literally destroys it."
  749. "And fancy hand scan doors! They still look all wood, but they don't suck!"
  750. >"Actually... HEY ANON!"
  751. >"What?"
  752. >"Can we use you for an experiment?"
  753. >You giggle, he looks very concerned.
  754. >"What do I need to do?"
  755. "It's super easy Nonny, just say... Wait, no one second I'll throw you a note!"
  756. >You scribble it down and toss it down to him.
  757. >"Uh... G.a.R.B.S.S Lab please?"
  758. >Anon blips out of existence and reappears in the lab.
  759. >With all his clothes on.
  760. >"IT WORKS! Do you know how hard it is to code a variable like clothing in? I'm a fucking wizard!"
  761. "Would have been funnier if it didn't work..."
  762. >"Hey!"
  763. "What? It would have! You would be thinking the same thing if it were either of us so shut up!"
  764. >"Fair enough. I better not be part sock or something now though."
  765. "You won't be."
  766. >Moondancer finishes tweaking what she's working on and looks up.
  767. >"Anyway, would you guys like to see something really cool tomorrow? I know a place where the day never changes!"
  768. End of Day 3.
  769.  
  770. >The next day you all pack your winter/summer gear and head to Gelida Infernum.
  771. >When Moondancer explained what it was like here, you thought it would be hellish. In actuality though it's quite nice.
  772. >Half frozen wonderland, half sunny beach, all fun.
  773. "Anyone want to go ice skating under the stars?"
  774. >"Sure! I'm actually pretty pro at it!"
  775. >Moondancer looks at you nervously.
  776. >"I'm not exactly graceful on ice. I kinda thought we'd do something easy like a snowball fight."
  777. "No way! I haven't been ice skating in years, I'm going. You can play with those alien kids if you want!"
  778. >You and Anon run away from her playfully through the heavy snow.
  779. >"N-no! Wait up you guys I can't see well in the dark!"
  780. >She wasn't lying, she trips on an fuzzy alien child's face. Poor thing just wanted to make a snow yeti.
  781. >"Shit, sorry! Don't tell your mom, bye!"
  782. >Yeah that was really smooth.
  783. >She catches up eventually without punting any more native children.
  784. >The ice rink is shaped like a huge crescent moon, hairy alien children and couples alike gliding across its mirrored surface.
  785. >Renting skates is easier than expected, no swapping of words just pictures. Must be a popular tourist spot.
  786. >Anon promises to teach Moondancer the basics, which you guess leaves you alone to loosen up from the years at rest.
  787. >You glide around the rink gracefully like a swan, at least you think you do.
  788. >You might just look like a sperg who's going really fast.
  789. >Who's going to judge though? Everyone's having a good time.
  790. >Hey, you think you see Moondancer! She looks like she's getting the hang of things.
  791. >Wonder where Anon went though.
  792.  
  793. >Be Moondancer
  794. >You wish Twilight would have waited for you while Anon taught you how to use these damned things.
  795. >"Keep your ankles parallel, and your knees prepped. Don't worry about falling down, but when you do just get right back up."
  796. >Yeah yeah, you know what ice skating's supposed to be. You just suck at it.
  797. >He holds your hand though, which your not going to lie, is sorta nice.
  798. >You never had a boy hold your hand before. It's warm even through your gloves, very comforting.
  799. >Really, he is a pretty good teacher. You think you might be getting the hang of this after all.
  800. >You can see Twi off in the distance gliding around without a care in the world.
  801. >Maybe one day you'll be able to do that... Wait.
  802. >Something is wrong.
  803. >Who is she waving at? We're the only people she knows here.
  804. >Oh shit!
  805. "TWILIGHT, YOUR GUN! THAT'S NOT ME!"
  806. >Be Twilight.
  807. "Hey Moondancer! You're doing great!"
  808. >>"Sparkle? I'm on vacation damn it! Why must you vermin infect my life!"
  809. >You hear your Moondancer calling to you.
  810. >Oh god why in front of the fuzzy alien children of all times!?
  811. >Maybe she'll just shrug you off? Oh, no that's definitely a gun.
  812. >The ice is a double edge sword, it makes you faster to dodge but more sloppy. You manage to swing around the first few plasma rounds.
  813. >You can faintly make out as you turn that one of the fuzzy aliens has been hit.
  814. >You can't let her shoot up the entire rink trying to kill you. She has to be taken out quickly.
  815. >Against your better judgement, you accelerate towards her.
  816. >She follows suit, shooting at you the whole time.
  817. >Some of them graze you as you weave back and forth. You almost stumble but you manage to get within hand to hand range.
  818. >It's the only way.
  819. >>"Prepare to die Spar-"
  820. >You jam your gun into her mouth and shoot.
  821. >Her body falls to the floor, the back of her head smoking.
  822.  
  823. >You want to vomit, but you hold back.
  824. >It wasn't your Moondancer. It wasn't your Moondancer Twilight. She was trying to kill you and you had to defend yourself.
  825. >Anon and your Moondancer skate up to you and try to pull you off the ice.
  826. >"Twilight, we need to get out of here!"
  827. >"He's right, if she was here there might be others."
  828. "No, she said she was on vacation. I ruined her vacation."
  829. >Moondancer stops you.
  830. >"She actually said she was on vacation? Twilight they don't give rookies vacation! That was a fully fledged Muppet operative! Do you know what that means?"
  831. "W-were fucked?"
  832. >"No! You did good, really good! She's killed at least her Twilight, maybe more! You took down a cold killer."
  833. >It doesn't feel good no matter how much she plays it up.
  834. >Anon puts his hand on your shoulder as you exit the ice.
  835. >"Twi, that's the reason we bought the guns. We knew this would happen, it was just sooner than we hoped. What matters is you saved lives by taking hers okay?"
  836. >You nod. You know they're right.
  837. >That face though, it haunts you.
  838. >It wasn't your Moondancer, but it looked just like her.
  839. >Same disdain for you she had.
  840. >Same intention she had.
  841. >You swallow down your vomit again. Anon shoots a portal back to the forest base.
  842. "N-no!"
  843. >"What?"
  844. >You shake them off.
  845. "I-I have to be strong. I want to continue adventuring, close the portal."
  846. >Moondancer looks into your eyes.
  847. >"Are your sure Twi? There's no shame in breaking down-"
  848. "No. I'm fine. I mourned you once, I got closure. I can't do this again, we're pushing forward!"
  849. >"...Anon close the portal. We're taking the bullet tube to the sunny side, my treat."
  850. >He nods, the portal home dissipates as you rush off the scene.
  851.  
  852. >Soon after getting on the bullet, which was a poor choice of transit given recent events, you start to calm down a bit more.
  853. >You're still a mess. But not because you killed somebody, it's just the WHO you killed.
  854. >You know logically it should be the other way around, but honestly knowing you have the resolve to pull the trigger is invigorating. If these were mooks you'd probably be gloating right now.
  855. >And that kind of concerns you.
  856. >"Twi, look at the view!"
  857. >Anon and Moondancer direct you to a gorgeous display. The sky on this part of the planet looks like it's cut between day and night right down the middle. In between both is a violet overlap with stars twinkling as the atmosphere spirals around itself. The land below looks like a fairy-tale backdrop with melting snow and tufts of grass speckled about.
  858. "It's... Magnificent. Is this why you wanted us to come here?
  859. >"Yeah. I wanted to show you what different planets could be like. The beauty in visiting places you can't explain, the thrill of seeing things that shouldn't exist. It's not all just Twilights and Wookiee rip offs, it's the very life you know being ripped apart every time you turn around.
  860. >Anon grasps your hand, smiling at the sights.
  861. >Your heart starts beating faster. His hand is really strong, and kind of clammy.
  862. >"I'm glad I helped you, I wouldn't want to miss this sight for the world."
  863. >Me either Anon.
  864. >Me either.
  865. >Moondancer holds your other hand and smiles at you.
  866. >You're so lucky to have these goof balls.
  867. >You hug them both close as you enjoy the rest of the ride.
  868.  
  869. >The bullet finally arrives at it's destination.
  870. >You're all a little hesitant to break up the cuddle pile, but there are 'people' waiting.
  871. >The aliens on this side of the planet look more like evolved squid humanoids. Slimy yet colorful.
  872. >As soon as the pod doors open you immediately get hit with a heat wave.
  873. >"Fuck, we need to get to a bathroom and change! Nonny give us the bag of holding!"
  874. >He grabs his shorts and passes the bag.
  875. >You and Moondancer run to the changing rooms placed mercifully close to the exit.
  876. >The Twilight swimwear was pretty bland, which you guess fits your tastes just fine. Go figure.
  877. >You elected to go with a bikini with the "Twilight symbol" print. It's basically just star print.
  878. >Moondancer went more modest, electing for a one piece swimsuit in straight up purple.
  879. >The biggest bust size they carried was a C cup though, so it wasn't quite as modest as intended...
  880. >"U-um, Twi? D-do I look okay?"
  881. "Yeah, you look great. Let's go enjoy some sun!"
  882. >When you get outside, Anon is already waiting for you. He throws his snow clothes in the bag and you set off for some fun in the sun!
  883. >The ocean is a brilliant shade of orange, almost like someone filled the sea with orange soda.
  884. >Anon splashes you violently in the face, you retaliate, Moondancer joins in the fun.
  885. >Before you know it, there's a water wrestling match of the century. The Squid children even join in.
  886. >Anon lifts you over his head like fucking Simba.
  887. >"ARE YOU NOT ENTERTAINED SQUID CHILDREN?"
  888. >A choir of 'Do it's' ring out as he throws to into the water.
  889. >"*Pffft* Anon you dick, that's not fair! You have like, twice as much muscle mass as we do!"
  890. >"Oh you KNOW that was funny."
  891. >You take his legs from underwater, bringing him down.
  892. "Gotta watch your knees around me son!"
  893. >"Twi, way too soon. That was a traumatic experience."
  894. "S-sorry..."
  895.  
  896. >You all play and frolic for the rest of the day, getting weird alien hot dogs, trying alien candies on the boardwalk.
  897. >After a while though you start seeing some police asking the locals some questions and decide you should get out of dodge.
  898. >You regroup at forest base, local time about 6pm. Spike looks like he ate his fill of frogs while you were gone, no need to feed him I guess?
  899. >Honestly after a busy day like today you just want to lay down and rest for a while.
  900. >You're pretty sure you've earned it, right?
  901. >Luckily you didn't sell Lyra's old books, which she had hundreds of.
  902. >Most of them were about Magic, or Equestrian culture. You don't care much about horse stuff but learning about real life magic is important and interesting right?
  903. >Anon and Moondancer go about their business, which is fine by you.
  904. >Spike and Anon really hit it off, it's nice seeing Spike have a buddy as energetic as him. He was never meant to be an indoor dog.
  905. >Moondancer is up in the lab working on who knows what. Maybe if you have a eureka moment or something you'll join her.
  906. >In the mean time, some nice relaxing magic studies sounds wonderful.
  907. >Or wait! Even better!
  908. "Moondancer, this place has working hot water right?"
  909. >"Yup, bathroom's down the-"
  910. "G.a.R.B.S.S., Bathroom please."
  911. >You haven't read in the bath in far too long, and you're covered in orange sea salt.
  912. >The tub is gigantic, the entire bathroom for that matter is completely modern. You guess she drew the line somewhere for the old wooden look.
  913. >You draw a bath and set up a nice accessible stack of books to read.
  914. >Removing your bikini you slip into the water and relax your muscles.
  915. >After a little while of acclimating to the water, you notice the tub has some buttons.
  916. >Being curious, you decide to push one. Something moves in the tub floor.
  917. "...Huh? ...Ahhhhhh!~"
  918. >You swear you didn't know this is what the button did when you pushed it.
  919. >But... Maybe you'll put off the reading for a bit?
  920.  
  921. >Time for some real adventure!
  922. >In the morning you regroup and come up with a fun plan to pick a random planet and go.
  923. >Given a few built in variables, safe habitable planets only. Wouldn't want to open a portal to lava planet.
  924. >You're told many planets are basically lava planet.
  925. >Just to be safe though, you open the portal outside.
  926. "Let's see what we get!"
  927. >The gun shoots a portal to... U-001
  928. >You look at each other and make a silent agreement this never happened.
  929. >Trying again, you next come up with a futuristic city with some ye old England like vibes.
  930. >"Ooh, this would be a good one! It looks like a Technomancy Universe!"
  931. >"Ah, one of the Twilights mentioned that stuff! That's the 'Magic is science' type stuff right? "
  932. >Sounds really interesting to you, guess we have a winner!
  933. >Stepping through, no one seems surprised at the hole in space time.
  934. >Must be normal here you guess?
  935. >The city is odd, but fascinating. Buildings are tall and modern in structure, but are almost steam punk in design. Cars drive the streets but they have no steering wheels.
  936. "Moondancer, have you ever been here before?"
  937. >"Nope, I recognize some of the tech but this is mostly new to me."
  938. >"Twi this place is so cool! I read a book set in a place like this once, stuff was powered by rainbows or something."
  939. "Wait, since when do you read Anon?"
  940. >He looks at you visually confused.
  941. >"What, did you think all I did was exercise? Of course I read books! I'm mostly into fantasy and Sci-fi."
  942. >The more you know I guess?
  943. >You proceed down the street, the open markets here seem to sell some interesting stuff.
  944. >Anon stops at one and picks up some metal gloves. Not super high tech gloves mind you, just nerdy metal punching gloves.
  945. >"I saw an Anon in Twilight world with a cool robo-arm, this is the closest I can do at the moment!"
  946. >"We could always cut off one of your arms if you're that interested.
  947. >"Hm... I think I'll keep my arms as long as I can. Hopefully forever."
  948. >"Suit yourself."
  949.  
  950. >You see a giant old timey clock, similar to Big Ben but a lot less charming. It's sitting in the middle of the square and decked out in bronze and shit.
  951. >Unlike most of the architecture here it wasn't so much magic punk as literally steam punk. It's almost gaudy really.
  952. >Whatever, you figure you can see the whole city from there. You decide to climb it like the tourist you are.
  953. >It takes a while to climb all the creaky wooden steps, but with a little bit of resolve you all make it to the top.
  954. >The view is astounding, millions of different colored lights speckle the entire city. Every techomagical device giving off it's own source of light. This view would be even better at night, but you'll take it as it is.
  955. >Ah, you see a big library in the distance. You didn't do much reading last night because...reasons. Maybe you could rent some there to add to the pile though.
  956. >"Hey Moondancer, are jet packs common in universes like this?"
  957. >"Not to my knowledge, they don't really need them. Why do you ask?"
  958. >Anon points to a masked figure flying towards the translucent glass plate of the clock.
  959. "Shit get down guys!"
  960. >Shards of glass go flying over your backs as the masked figure crashes through the pane.
  961. >They look different than Moondancer did, this one's sporting a star shaped mask and what can only be a fireproof cape.
  962. >You pull out your gun and try to shoot them down, but they dodge gracefully around each one.
  963. "How did you even find us here? What the fuck is wrong with you?"
  964. >"I am the greatest, most powerful bounty hunter in the land! Your head will belong to me Sparkle!"
  965. >Moondancer perks up and examines your attacker.
  966. >"Oh great, it's a fucking PEANUT. Don't worry guys, these girls are a joke-"
  967. >A plasma shot just misses Moondancers foot.
  968. >"I am NOT a member of PEANUT! The great and powerful Tri- I mean... I'm a respectable bounty hunter! Not some pitiful illusionist! Watch your tongue around me scum!"
  969.  
  970. >"Lot of pride for a hired gun!"
  971. >You give Anon a death glare.
  972. >"The great and powerful Tri- God damn it! I mean-"
  973. >"Look her name is Trixie. There, mystery over, now you can talk 'normally'."
  974. >Moondancer doesn't seem very worried.
  975. >"Fine! The great and powerful Trixie hates hiding her perfection anyway!"
  976. >Trixie takes off her ornate mask and reveals... wow.
  977. "Oh my god, you're the most adorable bounty hunter I've ever seen!"
  978. >Trixie actually blushes.
  979. >"H-how many bounty hunters have you seen S-Sparkle? The great and powerful Trixie assumes all of them?"
  980. >You're about to correct her, but Moondancer shakes her head.
  981. >"Yes, we've seen thousands, possibly millions. You are by far the fairest of them all."
  982. >Trixies eyes widen, your assuming she's not used to compliments.
  983. >"W-w-well of course! The great and powerful Trixie is so wonderful and great! A-as a matter of fact, I'm so great that I don't even NEED your head Sparkle!"
  984. >She turns her head up to you.
  985. >"...But Trixie would not decline a bribe!"
  986. >You have to be kidding me, who the hell does she think she is!
  987. "How about 50 credits, uh, great and powerful Trixie?"
  988. >She rolls her eyes and holds out her hand.
  989. >"The great and powerful Trixie accepts this bribe. She is hungry and doesn't wish to bother killing you."
  990. >Trixie just takes the money and flies away. What the fuck was that all about?
  991. >"What the hell was that about?"
  992. >At least Anon has your back.
  993. >"Trixies are usually all about money, pride, or getting friends. Clearly she wasn't really in it for the money or she wouldn't have bothered with the speech. If she wasn't so annoying I would have recommended trying friendship."
  994. >"I don't know, she was pretty cute. Maybe we could still- ow!"
  995. >You elbow him hard.
  996. "I agree with Moondancer, I hope we never see that bitch again."
  997. >"Glad we agree. Now lets portal our way to a different part of town. Don't feel like paying to fix the clock."
  998.  
  999. >You decide to try that Library you saw. You guesstimate the coordinates from where the first portal brought you and keep dialing in numbers until you get the green light. Don't want to pop inside a wall or something.
  1000. >It ends up a short walk away, but much closer than you were before.
  1001. >The stairs cascade out of the entrance like an ornate waterfall. There's a magical blue liquid running just underneath the surface. If you had to guess, you'd say they were going for a 'Fountain of Knowledge' type of aesthetic.
  1002. >A little bit cheesy, but you still think it's pretty cool.
  1003. >Inside is like most libraries, just with neat fluid lamps instead of lights.
  1004. >All of you split up and go looking for some books to read later. Magic is really interesting to read about, but variety is even better!
  1005. >luckily for you, the library proves itself safe for the duration of your visit. You'd be heartbroken if innocent books were destroyed in cross fire.
  1006. >Everyone enjoys a relaxing time at the library and meets up with a pile of books for the bag of holding at the entrance.
  1007. >By time you're all out of there its already sunset.
  1008. "Guess we should go home?"
  1009. >Anon thinks for a moment, then stops a local.
  1010. >"Sir, whats the drinking age on this planet?"
  1011. >"Uh... well here specifically its 18?"
  1012. >Ahhhhhh, that could be fun.
  1013. >Moondancer looks excited too.
  1014. "Guess we're going to the tavern!"
  1015. >Marching in to an old timey tavern felt like the nerdiest thing to you. It's like D&D in real life.
  1016. >Maybe you'll get a quest or something.
  1017. >Grasping on the old wooden door you fling it open like the excited sperg you are and barge in!
  1018. >"-So the GREAT and POWERFUL TRIXIE spared their puny lives, because she is the kindest and smartest bounty hunter in the multiverse!"
  1019. "Oh for fucks sake!"
  1020. >"Ah, the great and powerful Trixie was just talking about you! Come to Trixie friends, she will allow you to be her drinking buddies for the night!"
  1021.  
  1022. "Maybe we'll just go to a different tavern."
  1023. >Before you can finish turning around she calls out for you.
  1024. >"No, wait! First round is on Trixie, okay?"
  1025. >Well, you guess it can't hurt right?
  1026. "Deal."
  1027. >You've never really drank before, so you just order something fruity. Moondancer and Anon both order something called a 'Dark and stormy'
  1028. >They don't even bother to ID you, which is good because you're not sure a Twilight license would be accepted.
  1029. >"Trixie was just telling the whole bar that she is the most beautiful bounty hunter you've laid eyes on!"
  1030. "Well, actually I've never seen a real bounty hunter before."
  1031. >Before Trixie can react, Moondancer speaks up again.
  1032. "I've seen an entire football stadium full."
  1033. "Why are you still inflating her ego?"
  1034. >"She's annoying, not unattractive."
  1035. >She turns to Trixie.
  1036. >"Are you okay with being beautiful but annoying?"
  1037. >Trixie looks completely stumped.
  1038. >"T-Trixie isn't sure! S-she would prefer to be perfect, but maybe you're right."
  1039. >Poor Trixie chugs a good amount of beer down, most likely to drown out her insecurities.
  1040. >"...Trixie will buy the next round too. Please stay with me for a while longer."
  1041. >Wow, her ego dropped fast.
  1042. >Anon gives her a pat on the back.
  1043. >"Sure thing Trix, what are buddies for? Right guys?"
  1044. "Yeah, don't worry about it. Drinks will be on me this time okay?"
  1045. >Things continue on like that. You buy the next round, Anon buys the one after that. Then Moondancer feels obligated to buy one.
  1046. >It doesn't take a genius to know you're all drunk as shit.
  1047. >Trixie is really fun drunk though. Turns out she's a magician, but the lame kind who does tricks not like a wizard.
  1048. >She's also a fairly competent singer, or at least you thought so. Man you don't know what's what anymore.
  1049. >You're holding down your lunch though, which from what you've heard is all that matters.
  1050. >At the end you manage to portal back home, and it's fuzzy from there.
  1051.  
  1052. >Ow, man your head hurts.
  1053. >You guess this is what a hang over feels like. For science you guess?
  1054. >The bed's a lot warmer than usual... Wait is there someone in the bed with you?
  1055. >Oh shit!
  1056. "Wake up!"
  1057. >You pull the blanket up above your naked chest as your friends wake up.
  1058. "Guys, please tell me there's a reason we're all naked and sleeping in the same bed!"
  1059. >"Uh... Isn't the reason sex?"
  1060. >Moondancer nods.
  1061. >"Yeah, that was the reason..."
  1062. >Why are you the only one freaking out about this!
  1063. "What happened!?"
  1064. >Anon rubs his head, clearly fighting off a hang over as well.
  1065. >"If I remember properly, you started stripping in the middle of the entrance way when we got home..."
  1066. >"And then you chased me around the house naked. When you eventually caught me you shoved your hands up my shirt and started playing with my breasts."
  1067. >"Then I tried to pull you off of her and get you to bed, but you said you were horny as fuck and wanted to 'Do it for science'.
  1068. >Moondancer nods in agreement.
  1069. >"You literally dragged us in here and..."
  1070. >She finally blushes.
  1071. >"I don't think either one of us really WANTED to say no..."
  1072. >"Yeah, kinda a dream come true. Threesome where I'm the only guy."
  1073. >"And honestly, you got me pretty horny when you played with my breasts. It's kinda my fetish."
  1074. >You can't believe this is happening.
  1075. >Bits and pieces are coming back to you...
  1076. >Oh god you guys REALLY went at it last night.
  1077. "I-I'm not a virgin anymore. I lost my virginity in a fucking three way?"
  1078. >Anon tries to calm you down.
  1079. >"It's okay Twi, we were all really drunk and it kind of just happened."
  1080. >"I-if it makes you feel better, that was my first time too. And I think you were really good!"
  1081. >You both look at Anon.
  1082. >"Uh, sorry not my first time... Best time by far though!"
  1083. "I... guess that's comforting? I'm good at three-ways."
  1084. >You all stay quiet for a while. Just sitting there unsure what to do.
  1085. >Moondancer stands up, and your heart drops into your stomach.
  1086. "What happened?!"
  1087.  
  1088. >Moondancer has an almost spider web shaped pattern of scars running around her stomach and a good portion of her breasts. It fades out around the edges, but now that you're looking for them you notice they continue a little further as well.
  1089. >She doesn't seem to understand the question until she looks down.
  1090. >"O-oh, you don't remember that conversation? That's from... well you know what that's from."
  1091. >Shit, you did this to her? And she still talks to you?
  1092. "Are you okay? That looks, I mean you look amazing, but medically it looks bad!"
  1093. >Shes...laughing at you?
  1094. >"*Pfffft* You think THIS is bad? Oh my god you do NOT want to know what I looked like before the cure all. Honestly if I knew it would repair damage that old I would have begged for that shot."
  1095. >"Out of morbid curiosity, how bad was it?"
  1096. "Anon!"
  1097. >"No no, it's really fine. I looked like a fucking burn victim. I mean, I had it lucky because I had like 8 years to heal and kids heal way faster than adults. All in all though... let's say I'm refusing to pluck my eyebrows on mere principle of loving having eyebrows."
  1098. "I'm... I'm so sorry! I-"
  1099. >"NO! No more crying! We did this, I forgave you before I even saw my reflection. You're good."
  1100. "But..."
  1101. >"If you want to make it up to me, there is one thing you can say..."
  1102. "What is it? I'll do anything!"
  1103. >She blushes and poses, still bare naked.
  1104. >"T-tell... Tell me honestly, how do you think I look?"
  1105. >You're not entirely sure how to answer that... You guess you'll just have to improv it?
  1106. "W-well, I'm not sure how I feel about women sober... I kinda only thought about men before... But I'm really jealous of your breasts, and I think you give off a sexy assassin vibe?"
  1107. >She rubs her hands through her hair, shaking her breasts slightly.
  1108. >"Then we're all good. Now if you're done gawking I'm going to get dressed and eat breakfast. You guys do what you want."
  1109.  
  1110. >Somehow, it's only more awkward with just the two of you.
  1111. "So... That wasn't how I expected that to happen."
  1112. >"What? Forgiveness? Like she said, you pretty much gave her back the body she lost."
  1113. "No jack ass. I meant the sex. I kinda thought I'd date you-"
  1114. >"Date me specifically?"
  1115. >Oh shit.
  1116. "I meant whoever I gave my virginity to! Anyway I thought we'd date, go steady for a while, kiss. All that stuff..."
  1117. >"Go steady? What is this the 50's?"
  1118. "Stop making fun of me! This isn't... I just don't know how to feel okay?"
  1119. >He puts his arm around you, which honestly isn't as comforting naked.
  1120. >"Look, I don't think romance is the best thing when we're on the run from a murderous organization."
  1121. "I... I guess your right."
  1122. >"But... I'll admit I was interested in you back in class."
  1123. >What.png
  1124. "But I never even spoke to you!"
  1125. >"Yeah, but you always answered questions right in class. You were pretty and smart, and I don't know... I was in to that."
  1126. "...Was?"
  1127. >"Still am.
  1128. "O-okay..."
  1129. >You're fairly sure all available blood is in your face right now.
  1130. >"But, I don't think now is the best time to start something. Once we're pretty sure we've settled into our permanent life, hopefully in a way our families know we're alive we can try that out."
  1131. "O-okay... What if I wanted to though? Maybe I've had a crush on you since freshman year...?"
  1132. >Anon rubs his head.
  1133. >"Don't tempt me Twilight, I'm pretty close to snatching you off your feet!"
  1134. >He kisses you on the lips, just briefly.
  1135. >"I just think it wouldn't be fair to Moondancer Twilight. Until further notice we're kind of all living together. I don't want her to feel like a 3rd wheel."
  1136. >You know he's right.
  1137. >"Let's all just be friends until this is all over."
  1138. >He embraces you and holds you tight in his strong arms.
  1139. >"Preferably friends with benefits"
  1140. >You shove him out of bed violently.
  1141. "You jerk-"
  1142. >Wow. Well damn, so that's why your so sore...
  1143. "I-I think that could be arranged."
  1144.  
  1145. >When you finally get dressed and out your door, you find Moondancer dressed and making waffles.
  1146. >By the amount of batter she's made you're guessing she's planning to share.
  1147. "Making post-sex waffles?"
  1148. >"No, just normal kind."
  1149. >She's actually kinda bouncy as she stacks the waffles, almost like a normal teenage girl.
  1150. >It's weirdly refreshing to see her happy for no real reason.
  1151. >You decide to feed Spike some real food instead of letting him scavenge for more frogs.
  1152. >The little guy clearly missed his bed last night, he had to settle for Anons.
  1153. "Hey Spikey! Get over here and give me my morning kisses!"
  1154. >He nearly knocks you over with love.
  1155. >Anon spectates with a cup of "Anons Special Blend #102" coffee.
  1156. >"I heard that in some universes Spike can talk, and in others he's a fucking dragon!"
  1157. "Well I like my Spike the way he is!"
  1158. >Moondancer finishes up the waffles and plates them in 3 piles.
  1159. >"I wouldn't mind a talking dragon Spike, we learned they're actually really helpful and just as loyal. Sadly they won't accept a Moondancer if they're Twilight is killed by one... catch 22 of Muppet."
  1160. >Going to ignore that and just eat, you're starving.
  1161. "Thanks Moons!"
  1162. >"What happened to Moony?"
  1163. "Too similar to Nonny, you're Moons now."
  1164. >She shrugs and puts a forkfull of waffle in her mouth.
  1165. >"So you girls got to pick the last few adventures, how about this time I choose?
  1166. "Sounds fun. Just don't get us killed, and no orgy planet."
  1167. >"Deal."
  1168. >After breakfast you all gear up and decide to play portal roulette again.
  1169. >"Come on, daddy's looking for some real adventure!"
  1170. >The portal opens to a white room of some sort. The gun suggests its safe to portal to but it doesn't know what planet its on.
  1171. >"Adventure?"
  1172. >"Unregistered planet?"
  1173. >You grin.
  1174. "FOR SCIENCE!"
  1175.  
  1176. >Upon entering the portal you get a better look at the room. It's almost spotless with the only marks being speckles of surface rust on the 'SAFETY ZONE' signs.
  1177. >Each door has a manual override, which seems to also function as the close switch. All doors are closed shut.
  1178. "What is this place?"
  1179. >"No clue, should we open a door?"
  1180. >Moondancer nods. You decide dead ahead is a good start and pull the manual override.
  1181. >The door creaks open, lifting up like some kind of blast door.
  1182. >Outside is a dank hallway, almost moist air wafts from it. Lights come on automatically and reveal the corridor to be very decrepit.
  1183. "What the hell is this place?"
  1184. >"Looks like an abandoned space station... maybe a ship?"
  1185. >"That would make sense right? No planet if we're in the middle of space."
  1186. "Should we go back?"
  1187. >"But then we'd never know what happened here. I say we keep going."
  1188. >Anon nods. You guess the guns aren't for show after all, might as well.
  1189. "Okay, Anon I'll hold the portal gun you keep your plasma rifle prepped at all times. If we're lucky this place is just old, but we want to be prepared for anything."
  1190. >You trust Anon to know when to portal out of danger, but you trust him more with a weapon. You're not exactly the best shot after all.
  1191. >Pushing forward in triangle formation, back to back, you notice the damage is certainly battle based. There are holes in the steel walls that could only be made with plasma bolts. It's clearly not fresh damage, but at some point this ship was overtaken.
  1192. >Another blast door lays at the end of the corridor, but this one still has an active camera. The manual override is locked out from the other side.
  1193. >"Twilight, knock on the door. Anon and I will cover you. If you sense danger portal straight down you hear?"
  1194. >You nod.
  1195. >*Knock knock*
  1196. >>"*Kssssh* Who's there- Open the doors guys."
  1197. >The door slides open, three guns are pointed at you.
  1198.  
  1199. >You point the portal gun at the ground.
  1200. >>"NO STOP! We're not the enemy, at least if you can prove you're not the enemy."
  1201. >Getting a closer look, the one calling the shots is a Twilight! The other 2 you don't really know, just some girl soldiers or something.
  1202. >>"Pull out your Twilight card and slide it over to me. If you don't comply we'll have to shoot, then you'll shoot, and we'll all end up dead."
  1203. >She's got a point. You pull out your card and do what she says. Anon and Moondancer are aiming at the soldiers to keep the Mexican triangle stable.
  1204. >As soon as other Twilight picks up the card, she glances at it and throws it back.
  1205. >>"They're real, get in guys we're on the same team."
  1206. >The guns lower and you come inside, door closing behind you.
  1207. >>"Sorry about that T-888, had to be safe. We weren't able to send a rescue beacon so your arrival was rather unexpected."
  1208. "Yeah, what happened here Twi-"
  1209. >>"It's T-379"
  1210. "Okay fine, what attacked this place T-379?"
  1211. >>"Ever heard of "The Thing"? Basically that situation with a few differences. Alien can take over bodies and shape shift, but can't produce false objects. Aka, if it's not attached it's real."
  1212. >She points at the card.
  1213. >>"Card's real, and if that portal gun is real too the alien wouldn't even bother assimilating us. Tell me, has your Anon or your... Moondancer? Have either of them left your sight, even once?"
  1214. "No, it was a straight shot from where we entered. I give you my word we're all clean."
  1215. >She looks you all over and smiles.
  1216. >>"That's good enough for me. Please, if you have enough energy set the gun to U-379 X:732k Y:485k Z:60k. These two helped me get this far, they deserve to live."
  1217. >Moondancer interrupts.
  1218. >"How the hell do we know you aren't the alien? You said it yourself, it wouldn't bother assimilating the remaining crew if it could escape to new planets. Prove to us you're not the alien!"
  1219. >T-379 shakes her head.
  1220. >>"If you're going to be that way just kill us and leave now."
  1221.  
  1222. "Wait, why? That's a really valid point!"
  1223. >>"Exactly. We can't prove it, we could just tell you anything and say the alien can't do it so we could live. There's no proof anything we say isn't designed to make us look innocent. If you believe us take the risk, if you don't then you should eliminate us like we would you. It's only logical."
  1224. >They all drop their guns.
  1225. "What do you guys think? Should we risk it?"
  1226. >Anon lowers his gun.
  1227. >"It's a risk we should take. They wouldn't have bothered telling us about the alien at all if they were the alien, right?"
  1228. >"Agreed. If this was a ploy one of the soldiers would have been an Anon, the odds are stacked in our favor."
  1229. >You take a deep breath and punch in the coordinates. After a few seconds you shoot the portal and step back.
  1230. >>"Thank you. Rainbow, Applejack, this is goodbye soldiers!"
  1231. "Wait, what?"
  1232. >The soldiers seem actively distressed, tears streaming down their face as they take their orders and enter the portal.
  1233. >>"Close the damn portal before they change their minds!"
  1234. >Confused, you take the order and close the portal.
  1235. >T-379 inhales deeply and lets out a heavy sigh.
  1236. >>"Thank you, you made the right choice. Get the hell out of here and don't look back!"
  1237. "Wait, why didn't you go with them? Didn't you want to be rescued?"
  1238. >>"I have unfinished business, mark this area unsafe for portaling to and get out."
  1239. "I'm not leaving a Twilight behind! Either let us save you, or let us help you!"
  1240. >She turns to you.
  1241. >>"I have to take this monster down T-888! If it gets its hands on that gun, every universe is in danger. Do you really think I'd let you risk everyone in the multiverse just so you could help?"
  1242. >You gesture for Anon and slide the portal gun into the bag of holding, exchanging it for your plasma gun.
  1243. "Just try and stop us!"
  1244.  
  1245. >She stares daggers at you.
  1246. >>"You're one of THOSE Twilights. Fine, do what you want. I'm going straight to this things den and taking the fucker out."
  1247. >Everyone preps their guns and follows T-379. Before opening the door she hands out mini oxygen masks.
  1248. >>"Poisonous amounts of oxygen from here on out. Those will keep your intake at the proper levels, but they're useless in a vacuum like space or under water."
  1249. >The next corridor is rusted to hell. Pipes are fractured and let small streams of water drip everywhere.
  1250. >The walk is uneventful, but nerve racking. The next set of blast doors aren't even closed, leaving a splitting path of corridors to follow.
  1251. >>"Was your Moondancer in MUPPET?"
  1252. "Uh, what? I have no idea what your talking about!"
  1253. >>"This isn't a time for games. She isn't trying to kill us so just tell me, was she or was she not in Muppet?"
  1254. >"Yes, I'm EX Muppet. Rookie."
  1255. >>"Then you walk back to and make sure nothing gets us from behind. Unless your Anon was in the military that is, whoever is the better shot."
  1256. >Moondancer takes the back as T-379 leads you down the left path.
  1257. >Anon stays in between you and T-379
  1258. >"Are you sure there are no survivors?"
  1259. >>"Yes, if you see anyone, and I mean ANYONE outside of this square, you shoot to kill. I don't care if it's your mother with a plate of fucking cookies, shoot to kill."
  1260. >That's awfully dark, but you guess that's the way it has to be...
  1261. >Luckily you can distance yourself to do that, after all, how could your parents even get here?
  1262. >As long as no one breaks formation, 'Kill everything that moves' shouldn't be too hard, right?
  1263. >Moondancer suddenly speaks up.
  1264. >"SOMETHING IS COMING FROM THE REAR!"
  1265. >You turn your head to see the enemy.
  1266. >"BARK BARK!"
  1267.  
  1268. "Oh god no, no no no no no no no!"
  1269. >Spike runs closer and closer, tongue gingerly bouncing out of his mouth as he barrels towards you.
  1270. >The little goof ball almost trips on his own little legs.
  1271. >"Twi I'm so sorry!"
  1272. "What if he's real?!"
  1273. >"He's not! I'm taking the shot!"
  1274. "Wait-"
  1275. >A plasma bolt burns through Spikes skull.
  1276. >He falls down like a limp rag.
  1277. >Oh god please be fake, please be fake!
  1278. >The flesh folds out and reveals a toothy mess of garbled animal parts, not all of them dog. Anon and Moondancer keep firing until the mass is a charred mess.
  1279. >T-379 keeps walking.
  1280. >>"Your slowing down your team T-888. Get your shit together."
  1281. "Well how was I supposed to know for sure! He's snuck in before!"
  1282. >>"You don't! That's the point..."
  1283. >She turns to you, face dripping with tears.
  1284. >>"But after enough Spikes, you get used to it!"
  1285. >Right... No survivors.
  1286. "We'll take this sack of shit down together, for Spike"
  1287. >>"Yeah, whatever you say."
  1288. >Fucking bitch. All you want to do is help.
  1289. >More and more of them keep coming, but mostly as humans. 90% are people you don't recognize, but they try to reason with you anyway.
  1290. >After a while you get pretty good at hitting them. The zero recoil on plasma guns helps your sure, but hitting a moving target is still impressive right?
  1291. >It's actually kind of fun honestly, like what you'd imagine a zombie apocalypse to be.
  1292. >Before you know it, your in front of the control room. T-379 gestures for you to all go first while she takes the rear.
  1293. >Selfish bitch probably wants to use us for-
  1294. >The door slams behind you, leaving you in the dark.
  1295. "GOD DAMN IT WE TRUSTED YOU!"
  1296. >The lights come on and... reveal a spotless control room. No T-379 in sight.
  1297.  
  1298. >Be Twilight number 379
  1299. >The others got you this far, honestly you didn't know how much of that you could have taken on your own.
  1300. >But this was different.
  1301. >The Control Deck only had the one entrance, and you had both keys. If anythings in there, it's small time.
  1302. >You're going for patient zero.
  1303. >The medical bay wasn't far, you can fight your way to it.
  1304. >Crew member after crew member, all crying out for help.
  1305. >Pleading for your mercy.
  1306. >You can do this Twilight!
  1307. >You could tell the copies from the infected.
  1308. >There was something in their eyes.
  1309. >You knew they were still in there.
  1310. >Twilight, focus. It's getting closer.
  1311. >It was mercy killing. There is no cure, they had to be killed.
  1312. >You pass through the bay doors.
  1313. >There's heaps of flesh everywhere.
  1314. >No more creatures come after you.
  1315. >It's eye of the storm.
  1316. >>"Hey Twilight! I'm over here!"
  1317. >You drop your gun and keep moving forward.
  1318. >The bed is close, flesh sprouting off of it like tubes.
  1319. >>"I knew you'd come back for me Twilight, you always do!"
  1320. >You bend down on your knees so they can look into your eyes.
  1321. "Of course I do, I wouldn't dream of leaving without you!"
  1322. >You reach into your combat bag.
  1323. >>"I love you Bookworm."
  1324. >You clutch the detonator in your hand.
  1325. "I love you too Nonny."
  1326. >*Click*
  1327.  
  1328. >Be Twilight number 888
  1329. >You've spent enough time locked in here with Anon and Moons to know it's safe.
  1330. >T-379 probably just wanted to lone wolf it.
  1331. >Anon pulls out the portal gun and sets in the coordinates for forest base.
  1332. >If she want's to fight aliens by herself, you'll just let her.
  1333. >*KABOOOOOOOOOOOM*
  1334. "Shit what was that?!"
  1335. >"No time to find out, lets go!"
  1336. >A sequence of several more explosions go off one after another as you enter the portal.
  1337. >The last thing you can see in the portal before it closes is fire engulfing the control room.
  1338. >Silence falls over your group.
  1339. >"..."
  1340. >"..."
  1341. "..."
  1342. >"Bark?"
  1343. "Spike! Get your little butt over here. You're sleeping in my bed tonight, and forever."
  1344. >"Bark Bark!"
  1345. >"Twilight... you do realize what just happened right?"
  1346. "Yep, not going to think about it. I'm going to go be alone with my Spike and appreciate life for a while."
  1347. >Be Anon
  1348. "Do you think she'll be okay?"
  1349. >"Yeah, she'll be fine. She just needs some time to reflect."
  1350. "I picked a pretty shitty adventure, didn't I?"
  1351. >"Nonny, don't look at it like that. We saved two lives, and helped that Twilight save her universe from an alien menace."
  1352. "But we couldn't save HER!"
  1353. >Moondancer places her hand on your shoulder.
  1354. >"We can't always save everyone, hell sometimes we won't be able to save a single person. What's important is we did everything we could."
  1355. "That's bullshit and you know it."
  1356. >Moondancer sighs.
  1357. >"Well it's bullshit I believe. T-379 was on a suicide mission and saved us the suicide part. Just be thankful she didn't take us down with her."
  1358. >Moondancer goes to her room, leaving you all alone.
  1359. >You take a small walk outside and grab some branches.
  1360. >Wrapping some grass around the branches you make a small memorial.
  1361. "Rest in peace T-379"
  1362.  
  1363. >Be Twilight.
  1364. >You didn't get any sleep last night, too busy working in the lab.
  1365. >Spike helped you like old times while you tried to test the science of magic.
  1366. >Of course all tests were inconclusive, but it took your mind off things.
  1367. >You didn't want to worry anyone, so you went back to your room before anyone woke up.
  1368. >Hopefully they're up for today's adventure, it will be a risky one.
  1369. >After breakfast you decide to pose the question.
  1370. "I want to visit U-888, at this point Muppet must have started looking elsewhere right?"
  1371. >"It's possible, but its just as possible they're monitoring the place remotely."
  1372. >"That's a possibility I'm willing to risk. I want my family to know im alive."
  1373. >Moondancers eyes drift to the floor.
  1374. >"I suppose you're right. Pack enough guns to last you though, we have to be prepared for anything."
  1375. >After some planning you're all prepped to go.
  1376. >The portal opens up and reveals a terrible sight.
  1377. >Your house is a pile of burned rubble, including the closet you had the suit in.
  1378. >There goes researching the suit you guess.
  1379. "It looks like the coast is clear, lets split up and go take care of business."
  1380. >"Actually you fried my cellphone so I'm going to have to use yours."
  1381. >"I only have credits and my car isn't here anymore..."
  1382. "My cell is dead, I didn't bother getting a charger since I had no service anyway..."
  1383. >Well fuck, you guess this will be a whole operation.
  1384. "Anon, you know the area better than I do. Is there anyone you know that we can walk to from here?"
  1385. >"Well... I know one place. It might be a bit awkward though.
  1386. "I'm sure it won't be that bad Anon."
  1387. >He leads you to a cake shop near the rival high school, Canterlot High.
  1388. >The sign reads 'SUGAR CUBE CORNER' in all caps.
  1389. >Anon hesitantly pushes open the door before being pounced on by a pink mass of hair.
  1390. >"NONNYPUSS! YOU'RE ALIVE?!"
  1391. >"Not for much longer if you dont get off Pinkie!"
  1392. >"Oh, I intend to!~"
  1393. >What.gif
  1394.  
  1395. >Pinkie looks up and spots you, eyes adjusting like a cat staring down prey.
  1396. >"Oh! You brought friends! You're alive AND I get new friends? BEST DAY EVER!"
  1397. >Anon mouths 'I'm sorry' to both of you as Pinkie jumps up.
  1398. >"My name is Pinkamena Diane Pie, but you can call me Pinkie! I'm friends with everybody, and I do mean EVERYBODY! That means we're friends now too! What's your names new friends?"
  1399. "T-Twilight Sparkle?"
  1400. >"Moondancer, pleasure to meet you."
  1401. >"No no no, you don't need to pleasure me to meet me! That would be silly, but I'm always up for some fun!~"
  1402. >Anon actually does a legitimate face palm.
  1403. >"We just need to use your phone Pinkie, calm your tits."
  1404. >Pinkie gropes her breasts, which are bigger than Moondancers. Pinkie is clearly braless under her pink shirt.
  1405. >"They aren't THAT out of control Nonny! But sure, the phones on the counter inside!"
  1406. >You proceed inside and make a line for the phone.
  1407. >You call first, your brother is so relieved to hear you're okay and you're with friends. You decide to tell him everything honestly and let him decide what he believes. He promises to tell your parents when you hang up.
  1408. >Moondancer does the same, from what you over hear they didn't even know she was missing. Pretty harsh.
  1409. >Finally Anon gets his turn.
  1410. >"Hey Mom! It's me Anon!... Yes really... it's a long story Mom. Can you see me?..."
  1411. >He glances down at the two of you.
  1412. >"Uh, no. Sorry I'm in uh... witness protection! Yeah and uh... staying on the phone is dangerous. I love you too mom, assume no news is good news. Bye."
  1413. >*Click*
  1414. "Anon, you didn't have to do that."
  1415. >"Yeah, Muppet wont bother hunting you if you leave now."
  1416. >He shakes his head.
  1417. >"They know I'm safe, but if they see me they won't let me go again. The multiverse is our playground, I have my likeness on merchandise, this is the life I want."
  1418.  
  1419. >You can't argue that, and Moondancer seems almost proud of his decision.
  1420. >Selfish bastard, but you know damn well you're doing this for the same reasons.
  1421. >Maybe that's what makes you 3 a good team. Mutual unapologetic selfishness.
  1422. >"Are you sillies done? I want to throw a party for you! I even made special punch!"
  1423. >You and Moondancer smile and head over, but Anon stops you.
  1424. >"Pinkie, we're not here for 'A good time' alright. Keep your Ecstacy punch to yourself."
  1425. >"Nonny stop being a party poop! I haven't gotten any since I last saw you!"
  1426. >You and Moondancer stare daggers at Anon.
  1427. >"Hey, I told you I wasn't a virgin! She's just a friend who's really into sex is all..."
  1428. "Yeah... well tell your FRIEND we're leaving."
  1429. >"Drugging us for sex? You're disgusting!"
  1430. >Moondancer stomps on Pinkies foot on her way out, dragging anon with her by the hand.
  1431. >"Ow ow owwwwwwww! You meanie! Give my Nonnypuss back!"
  1432. >Anon whispers under his breath.
  1433. >"Keep going, we never look back."
  1434. >Once you get out of sight, you decide its about time to leave this universe.
  1435. "Nonny, portal gun please."
  1436. >He tries to free his hand from Moondancers grasp, but ultimately fails.
  1437. >"Uh... You okay Moons? I kinda need two hands at the moment."
  1438. >Moondancer blushes and loosens her grip.
  1439. >"I-I don't like that Pinkie Pie, too much like Lyra! At least Lyra understood no means no. Stupid rapist bitch."
  1440. >He tosses you the portal gun.
  1441. >"She was cool once, I swear. She used to be obsessed with cupcakes and shit before she lost her virginity."
  1442. "Yeah, well she isn't cool now that it's gone."
  1443. >Anon nods.
  1444. >"Lets get the fuck out of this universe. I say we go to the tavern and see if we can meet Trixie for some drinks. No sex, just drunken fun!"
  1445. >"Make it so Sparkle!"
  1446. >You suppose why not, you still have plenty of credits.
  1447. "Good riddance U-888!"
  1448.  
  1449. >"...THEN Trixie holds the idiot off the highest building, and he pisses himself!"
  1450. "Ewwww, I'm trying to drink here! Tell a different story."
  1451. >Trixie leans her head on Moondancer's shoulder.
  1452. >"Diiiiiiid Trixie tell you guys about the super cool friends she made a couple days ago?"
  1453. >"That's us Trixie, but no, no you haven't."
  1454. >Moondancer doesn't bother to move Trixies head.
  1455. >"You guys are Trixies BEST friends. You, you're all really nice to Trixie. If you need someone dead, call the GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE and it will be done!"
  1456. "Oh really, anyone at all?"
  1457. >"Except the bartender! Trixie has you're back. You, you never water down Trixies drinks."
  1458. >Anon laughs.
  1459. >"Hopefully he's not a villain in disguise then!"
  1460. >Moondancer strokes Trixies hair, still draped over her shoulder.
  1461. >"If you ever have to kill me, smother me to death in your hair. Its so sooooooft."
  1462. >"Trixie will never kill you guys! You're officially off the list forever. No amount of credits can sway Trixie!"
  1463. >You join in on the drunken hair adventure, rubbing your face in Trixies soft locks.
  1464. "NOOOOOOONNY! Join the hair pile! Its soooo warm~"
  1465. >"No thanks girls, looks pretty full over there in hair town."
  1466. >"The Great and Powerful Trixies hair is enough for all Anon! Onwards to assimilate the non believer!"
  1467. >You all tackle Anon as a mass and shove hair in his face.
  1468. >Trixie hugs you all close as a smile over takes her face.
  1469. >"I love you guys. Seriously, not the beer talking. Find me if you need me alright? Free of charge."
  1470. "We'll keep in contact, is there some kind of device to communicate between universes?"
  1471. >"If there is, Trixie has never heard of it."
  1472. >You and Moondancer catch glances.
  1473. "You thinking what I'm thinking?"
  1474. >"Drunken science?"
  1475. "DRUNKEN SCIENCE!"
  1476.  
  1477. >You and Moondancer spend another sleepless night in the lab.
  1478. >Well, mostly sleepless for you. It's hard to stay up for 48 hours straight.
  1479. >The idea is loosely based around the same science that the portal gun is, only it has to be constant.
  1480. >It's both harder and easier than it sounds. You have to punch a hole through ALL universes, and keep it open forever, but it only needs enough energy to support a signal.
  1481. >Still, even with only a fraction of the energy needed per rip, the energy needed would be massive.
  1482. >"We'd need an Alicorn horn, or something equal in energy that doesn't die out."
  1483. "I assume that won't be easy to get?"
  1484. >"We couldn't afford an Alicorn horn even if we sold a hundred of your heads. Unless one of them was one WITH an alicorn horn attached, but then we'd be retarded."
  1485. "What if we went to U-001?"
  1486. >"And what, kill royalty? It's really not worth that much hassle, and we really shouldn't fuck over one of the last remaining ponyverses. It's like killing an endangered species."
  1487. >You lay your head on the desk.
  1488. "Then what are our options?"
  1489. >"We could... I mean if we really think it's WORTH it... We could make a deal with Discord."
  1490. "Who?"
  1491. >"Think deal with the devil, literally. He's omnipotent, but he's fucking insane. He could give us literally anything, but who can tell what the price will be?"
  1492. >You think hard, this would be huge! But... something about omnipotent god figure sounds like a bad thing to fuck with.
  1493. "How about we work with the hypothetical theory that we HAVE the energy, and we find out where to get it when we're sober."
  1494. >"Sounds good to me."
  1495.  
  1496. >In the morning you have a hang over like no one's business, and a blue print of a device.
  1497. >It looks sound in theory, from what you've learned about sustainable portal technology it should work.
  1498. >The device will sync up wireless with the gun, ripping a hole in every registered universe right above each portal.
  1499. >It's almost too cool to imagine, literally a multiverse communication network! It will be like internet two!
  1500. >You... you have to make this work. This would be revolutionary!
  1501. >Sacrifices have to be made, you shake Moondancer awake.
  1502. "We have to do it! I won't take no for an answer!"
  1503. >"W-what? I mean, okay? Good morning to you too? Should we bring Anon in on this too or...?"
  1504. "Of course! We're a team aren't we?"
  1505. >Moondancer blushes.
  1506. >"Y-you're right! Anon is a big part of this, we can't do it without him!"
  1507. >You run over to the banister and spot Anon drinking his morning coffee down below.
  1508. "ANON, WE'RE MEETING A GOD TODAY! WEAR YOUR GOOD CLOTHES!"
  1509. >"What? ...OH! Uh, yeah! Discord, we're going through with that? Okay, that's... horrible. But I guess... Fuck it I'll grab my coat."
  1510. >Anon looks up confused.
  1511. >"Uh, kinda a big leap from multiverse tourist to visiting god. I guess cool though? Not like I'm going to walk away from that."
  1512. >"Technically he's more powerful than a god. At least gods have rules they generally have to follow."
  1513. >"That... sounds pretty dangerous."
  1514. >"Oh don't worry, it is. I was really drunk when I considered it, and even then it was a bad idea."
  1515. "Too late, this is happening! We need power and he has it, get your shit!"
  1516. >You all hurry off and get dressed in proper clothes.
  1517. >Moondancer shoots the portal, opening it into U-001.
  1518. >"No matter what you do, don't let anyone know you're not a pony."
  1519.  
  1520. >Entering the portal feels wrong. Unlike the other universes, this one is transformative.
  1521. >You can feel your body change from human to equine, and it really isn't pleasant.
  1522. >When you get to the other side, the three of you look very different. You and Moondancer have horns, but Anon is some sort of normal green pony.
  1523. >"Oh that's not fair! Why can't I have a horn or wings or something cool!?"
  1524. >"Preach it brother! Fight the system!"
  1525. >Moondancer coughs.
  1526. >"Remember everypony, don't drop you're cover. I have an idea where we can find who we're looking for. Follow me."
  1527. >Everypony? Seriously? Whatever, you guess it could be weirder.
  1528. >Walking on all fours is weird as hell, it takes most of your concentration just to look somewhat normal.
  1529. >Ponies are staring at you like you're drunk. I mean, they're close but that's beside the point.
  1530. >Moondancer leads you to a cottage on a little hill. When she gets to the door she stops.
  1531. >"I'm going to need you to improv here Twilight. Just remember, we're looking for Discord."
  1532. "Wait why me?"
  1533. >She knocks her hoof on the door, a few seconds later a yellow mare with pink hair answers the door.
  1534. >"Oh. Hi Twilight. I wasn't expecting you... Oh my! What happened to your wings?"
  1535. "Uh... They flew away?'
  1536. >Smooth Twilight.
  1537. >"Oh no! That's terrible, was it a spell gone wrong?"
  1538. "Uh, yes? I um, I need Discord to help me get them back! Do you know how I could find him?"
  1539. >"Oh, um, I-I'm sure he'd love to see YOU Twilight... But he's not very good with new ponies."
  1540. >She shyly waves at Anon and Moondancer.
  1541. >Anon steps up.
  1542. >"Uh, we'll be cool. We've heard so much about him, we thought he could use more...friends?"
  1543. >Moondancer nods.
  1544. >"What he said, Discord would love more friends I'm sure. You won't regret this...Fluttershy?"
  1545. >"Oh... I guess your right."
  1546.  
  1547. >Fluttershy gestures you to wait, and after a few seconds a monstrous chimera opens the door. He's almost serpentine, and has a mishmash of animal parts strewn about everywhere.
  1548. >"Why hello...Twilight?"
  1549. >He looks you over and rolls his eyes.
  1550. >"'Twilight', will this be business or pleasure?"
  1551. >Pretty sure he's on to you.
  1552. "Business please, the 3 of us."
  1553. >"Fluttershy, you'll have to excuse me for leaving you so soon after I just arrived. I promise to come back right after and hang out okay?"
  1554. >He snaps his claws, suddenly you're in some kind of floating house in negative space.
  1555. >"Alright I've had your kind here before, some genius from another universe who needs something they can't achieve with science alone right? Thought old Discord would surely help you out of the kindness of his heart right?"
  1556. "I think we were going for some kind of deal actually? Unless your feeling generous..."
  1557. >"I'm not. What do you think you have that I'd want."
  1558. >Anon steps forward.
  1559. >"Would friendship be a dumb answer?"
  1560. >"It would be a waste of my time, my Fluttershy time to be precise. You don't want to waste my Fluttershy time!"
  1561. >"Okay then, let's be brief. My name is Moondancer, and these two are Twilight and Anon from U-888-"
  1562. >"Yadda yadda yadda! I don't care about all your science stuff, what do you want?"
  1563. "A power source as powerful as an alicorn horn!"
  1564. >"Oh is THAT all? Why didn't you say so?"
  1565. >"So you'll help us?"
  1566. >"Oh Celestia no, you might as well be asking me to make you a god! But now I know this is SURELY wasting my time! You'll be leaving now!"
  1567. "No! Wait, how about... uh... a game?"
  1568. >Discord looks the three of you over.
  1569. >"The three of you, beat ME at anything? That's a laugh!"
  1570. >"Then prove it Discord! If we win, you give us what we want. If you win..."
  1571. >"I turn you to stone so you'll never bug me again!"
  1572. "Deal."
  1573.  
  1574. >"Uh, Twi are we really sure about this?"
  1575. "Shut up Nonny, we're getting that horn if it's the last thing we do!"
  1576. >Discord bends down to your level and looks you in the eyes.
  1577. >"Name the game, and the rules."
  1578. "Easy, we take turns posing riddles back and forth. First one to answer incorrectly loses! Only rule is no cheating, if you cheat you lose!"
  1579. >Discord looks blankly at you, as does Moons and Anon.
  1580. >"Are you sure THAT'S the game you choose? I mean I'm going to win anyway but that's just sad Twilight!"
  1581. >"Yeah, that's seriously a bad idea Twilight, you don't know who you're messing with..."
  1582. "I'm sure, unless Discord is afraid we can outsmart him?"
  1583. >"You're on Sparkle!"
  1584. "What has a tongue, cannot walk, but gets around a lot?"
  1585. >"Shoe, my turn! What invention lets you look right through a wall?"
  1586. "A Window. What has feet and legs, and nothing else?"
  1587. >"*Yaaaaaawn* Socks. What has four legs, but can't walk?"
  1588. >(anon)"A table. What has holes but holds water?"
  1589. >"A sponge. What has many keys, but can't even open a single door?"
  1590. >(Moon)"A piano. What has only two words, but thousands of letters?"
  1591. >"Post Office. What is gray, has a tail, and a trunk?"
  1592. >Anon rolls his eyes.
  1593. >(Anon) "A mouse on vacation! What is the beginning of eternity, the end of time and the beginning of every ending?"
  1594. >"Me of course! There are 5 houses in 5 different colors-"
  1595. >You high hoof the shit out of Anon.
  1596. "The answer was the letter 'E', we win Discord!"
  1597. >Discord looks you in the eyes again.
  1598. >"Ah, I guess you do. Well what kind of FRIEND would I be if I didn't fulfill my end of the bargain!?"
  1599. >He snaps his claws, and you turn into an Alicorn.
  1600. >"There, you wanted it so bad, I gave you the FULL PACKAGE! Have fun, good bye forever!"
  1601. >With the next snap of his claws, you're in the middle of the woods in Equestria.
  1602.  
  1603. >Moondancer and Anon are just staring at you.
  1604. "So... We got the horn I guess."
  1605. >Moondancer walks up to you.
  1606. >"Twilight, as soon as you cross the portal you'll lose the horn and wings. As long as their attached they're useless to us."
  1607. "I figured as much."
  1608. >"I guess on to plan B?"
  1609. >You look at Anon.
  1610. "No, you and Moondancer get some anesthesia and scalpels."
  1611. >Moondancer looks shocked.
  1612. >"You can't be serious Twilight! That's crazy, that isn't as easy as it sounds!"
  1613. "Look, we have this chance and I'm going for it okay? We need the horn, and I can only assume the wings of an Alicorn is worth a lot of credits. Just don't kill me and we'll be fine!"
  1614. >They look at each other concerned.
  1615. >"We'll be right back..."
  1616. >Moondancer manages to use some basic magic to lift the portal gun out of Anon's bag and use it. After about ten minutes they come back as ponies again with some equine medical books and supplies for surgery.
  1617. >"Are you absolutely certain Twilight? You're not taking no for an answer?"
  1618. >You nod.
  1619. "I trust you guys with my life."
  1620. >Anon somehow manages to use his hoof to hold the needle, injecting you into a deep sleep.
  1621. --------------------------------
  1622. >You feel woozy.
  1623. >The feeling in you're entire body is gone.
  1624. >What body are you even in?
  1625. >Are you even alive?
  1626. >You're fairly sure you wouldn't be sentient if you were dead, but you've been surprised before.
  1627. >No, wait, there's the pain.
  1628. >Oh god that's way more pain then you should be feeling on pain killers.
  1629. >Your eyes open, after they adjust to the light you can make out your surroundings.
  1630. >The lights in the hospital are almost blinding, but you can see you are human again.
  1631.  
  1632. >A doctor Twilight and a nurse Anon tend to you.
  1633. >>"Doctor, she's woken up!"
  1634. >>"Well well well, looks like you're finally coming around! That's why they pay me the big bucks!"
  1635. "What...What am I doing here?"
  1636. >>"You were missing a chunk of your skull, and some sizable chunks out of your back. When you came in you could almost see your brain through all the blood!"
  1637. "W-What about now?"
  1638. >>"For now we've patched you up. It's up to you, we can do this the expensive way and use robotics. On the other hand if your hasty we could go the cheap road and use cure all."
  1639. "The cure all please, as soon as possible."
  1640. >>"Now you understand the cure all has a-"
  1641. "Yes, can cause cancer. I'll risk it."
  1642. >Nurse Anon shrugs and hands Doctor Twilight the needle, which she plunges into your arm. She promptly starts to remove the medical equipment.
  1643. >You can feel your body bridge the gaps where the tissue and bone went missing, it's both warm and painful. A little like having the worse Charlie horse of your life three places on your body at once.
  1644. >>"Okay, you're free to go U-888. Your friends said they'd cover your medical bill when they brought you in."
  1645. >Really wish they had just given you the shot when you were asleep, but whatever.
  1646. >When you get to the waiting room Moondancer and Anon flock to you.
  1647. >"Are you doing okay Twi? Does it still hurt?"
  1648. >You shake your head at Anon.
  1649. "I'm fine, tell me what happened!"
  1650. >Moondancer opens the bag of holding and shows you the horn and wings.
  1651. >"I had to take my time, but I did the best job possible. These are top tier Twilight, these are worth more than you can even imagine."
  1652. "What are we waiting for then! Let's get this stuff back to the lab and get to work!"
  1653. >After paying the bill (and making a quick stop for phones and chargers) you all make it back to forest base and get down to some science!
  1654.  
  1655. >As weird as it was handling disembodied pieces of yourself, you had to admit it was really cool.
  1656. >When Moondancer said they took their time, you didn't know they went down to the roots! These are flawless specimens.
  1657. >You and Moondancer store the wings in an air tight container for later, don't want them to decompose before you find a buyer or proper use for them.
  1658. >The only question now is if your device will function.
  1659. >It takes hours, but you finally put the finishing touches on the machine.
  1660. >The two of you decide on the name 'R.O.S.E.' Receiver and Omnipresent Signal Expander. The machine is built in the likeness of a rose after all, with petalling satellite adjusters spiraling around the Alicorn Core.
  1661. >"You're absolutely sure this is what you want right? This horn is the most valuable object probably ever to be held by humanity."
  1662. "I want to be the Twilight who made this happen. What's wealth when you can go down in multiverse history?"
  1663. >"You're crazy, but it's the kind of crazy that gets things done."
  1664. >You share a laugh as you hobble the thing outside. If it works you don't want to punch a hole in your roof.
  1665. >Together you check the settings and confirm the count down.
  1666. "5...4...3...2...1...Blast off!"
  1667. >With a burst of magical energy it lifts into the sky at astronomical speeds. After a few minutes of watching it sparkle in the distant sky, a giant inter-dimensional Twilight symbol appears in the sky before vanishing.
  1668. >"Check your phone, check your phone!"
  1669. "..."
  1670. >"W-Well? Did it work? It's not too late to call it back..."
  1671. "Full fucking bars! WE DID IT!"
  1672. >You're so excited you give Moondancer a kiss and start spinning her around.
  1673. >"W-What are you doing?"
  1674. "Celebrating you idiot! We need to get Nonny in on this!"
  1675. >"Uh...Yeah okay! I'll get him, don't kiss anything else in celebration while i'm gone, especially frogs."
  1676.  
  1677. >Okay maybe that wasn't the right way to celebrate... but in your defense that was comparatively straight compared to the OTHER things you did with her.
  1678. >She hurries Anon outside to you.
  1679. >"Why didn't you bring me out for the test run! I wanted to see it too!"
  1680. "I thought it wouldn't work! What kind of experiment works the first time flawlessly?"
  1681. >Moondancer grips you both by the shoulder grinning ear to ear.
  1682. >"Clearly this one! Holy shit, do you guys know what kind of boundaries this opens up? We can access information from ALL UNIVERSES AT ONCE! I mean we'll have to program something to harness that but it's there!"
  1683. >The two of you bounce and giggle like school girls, which you guess is what you are actually.
  1684. >Anon's just happy that his phone works now.
  1685. >"We should celebrate!"
  1686. "You said it! Let's go drinking again!"
  1687. >"W-wait!"
  1688. >Moondancer looks flushed.
  1689. >"I think we should celebrate in another way..."
  1690. >You and Anon look at each other, then back to her.
  1691. "Completely sober you mean?"
  1692. >She shuffles her hands about.
  1693. >"Yeah, if... if thats not a problem. I don't know... I think it would be nice?"
  1694. >You're not exactly used to turning down advances... and it would be nice to figure out how you feel about women.
  1695. >"I'm in if Twilight's in."
  1696. "Yeah, fuck it! Let's go release some steam!"
  1697. >You hope this goes okay.
  1698.  
  1699. >That went more than okay, it went great!
  1700. >Well, great for science you guess.
  1701. >Turns out while you're GOOD at pleasuring Moondancer, it doesn't really do anything for you.
  1702. >Playing with her boobs is a lot of fun though, not sexy, but entertaining.
  1703. >Anon however... that's where the money is. You definitely like the strong athletic type.
  1704. >You've decided you're all for the occasional three way... but honestly you'd like some one on one time with him.
  1705. >The two of them however seemed very satisfied with the results.
  1706. >You're pretty sure Moondancer never thought she'd have a body anyone would want to look at, you're really happy this has been so good for her self esteem.
  1707. >As for Anon, he's a guy who's been getting hot nerd pussy on a whim. No reason to write an essay on his benefits.
  1708. >Turning to make pillow talk you see them just lying there.
  1709. >They're... cuddling in their sleep?
  1710. >You guess it took a lot out of them...
  1711. "..."
  1712. >Slinking off to your room you curl up in bed with Spike.
  1713. >You're favorite boy will always be here for you, at least as long as you have a say in the matter.
  1714. >He's more than happy to snuggle you to sleep.
  1715.  
  1716. >The next morning you awake to a naked Moondancer clasping her hand over your mouth.
  1717. >"Twi, we have a problem. Only speak in whispers okay?"
  1718. >You nod, confused as hell.
  1719. "Why are you naked?"
  1720. >She rolls her eyes.
  1721. >"You know damn well WHY i'm naked. That's not the problem, Muppet must have traced the energy from ROSE to this planet. I heard a squad flying over head a few minutes ago!"
  1722. "Shit! What do we do?"
  1723. >"Well we have two options, fight to the death and summon an entire army... Which is a bad move trust me. Or we can figure out a way to trick them into thinking we're not here anymore."
  1724. >You think your options over. Pretty sure you could reprogram ROSE from the ground to be some kind of magical orbital cannon... That would be really cool. Nah, you'd still probably die. Looks like it's option two.
  1725. "I have an idea, do you have the portal gun with you?"
  1726. >She points to the corner of your room where it's leaning against the wall.
  1727. "Okay, I'll be back as soon as I can. You might want to put on some clothes before I get back though."
  1728. >Still in your PJ's you set the gun to your destination and shoot.
  1729. ------------
  1730. >Be MUPPET
  1731. >They should have sent more than three Rookies to search the planet, how are you expected to find a Twilight through all these trees.
  1732. >Thus far you haven't seen anything that looks like Twilight tech, no fancy bases or flags depicting that this is a conquered planet.
  1733. >You did spot a wooden cabin a while back, not quite a typical Twilight dwelling but you should probably check it out.
  1734. >Once you've arrived the 3 of you march up to the door and knock loudly, guns ready.
  1735. "*BZRT* We are with MUPPET, open the door or we will break it down!"
  1736. >The door surprisingly springs open, showing off a familiar figure in the doorway.
  1737. >"Who DARES disturb the GREAT and POWERFUL TRIIIIIIIIXIE this early in the morning?!"
  1738.  
  1739. >Be the GREAT and POWERFUL TRIXIE!
  1740. >You really hope this works, you've never been to this dimension before.
  1741. >"*Bzrt* Oh, it's a Trixie's house? That would make sense... Trixie, we received a huge reading of Twilight related energy from this planet, have you seen any Twilights? Even one?"
  1742. "Trixie saw a group of.... uh, 8 Twilights come through a portal yesterday? They threatened Trixie with guns but the GREAT and POWERFUL TRIXIE doesn't fear guns! They said... uh... That the magical energy of this planet was the ideal launching grounds for their machine. They left shortly afterwards."
  1743. >The Muppet operatives mumble among themselves before turning back to you.
  1744. >"*Bzrt* That would make sense, sorry for bothering you. While we're here, were you aware that MUPPET also takes non-Moondancers?"
  1745. >You roll your eyes.
  1746. "No thank you. Good bye and please never come back to my home."
  1747. >You slam the door and wait for them to depart.
  1748. >After you see their chopper go through the portal you signal to your friends.
  1749. "The coast is clear friends! Trixie has saved you all!"
  1750. >Be Twilight
  1751. >You all come out of your rooms, armed to the teeth.
  1752. "That was too close, do you know how hard it is to keep Spike quiet?"
  1753. >Anon pats Trixie on the back.
  1754. >"Thanks for helping Trixie, you did great!"
  1755. >"Obviously! Trixie does EVERYTHING great!"
  1756. >She hand flutters her cape.
  1757. >"Although Trixie was hoping you had some action for her when Sparkle found her. Trixie has gone too long without a good fire fight."
  1758. >"Oh, if I know Muppet like I think I do we'll be calling you soon enough Trixie. Speaking of which..."
  1759. >Moondancer takes out her cell and goes into her contacts.
  1760. >"What's your number? We should have you on speed dial."
  1761.  
  1762. >You give Trixie the details of what and why just happened, and get her number. She's more than thrilled thrilled to hear the news.
  1763. >"Trixie must tell all her customers about this! My life just got streamlined considerably."
  1764. >Moondancer taps you on the back.
  1765. >"I want to stay here and work on programming. Why don't you and Anon hang with Trixie for the day?"
  1766. "Sure you don't want help?"
  1767. >"I'm not social when I program, I'd prefer some alone time if that's okay."
  1768. >You shrug.
  1769. "If you insist. I had a neat idea about a orbital cannon though."
  1770. >She punches your arm playfully.
  1771. >"Hopefully that's not a function we'd ever need."
  1772. >"Trixie would like to go on an adventure Sparkle! The great and powerful Trixie only gets to travel for business..."
  1773. >"OOOH I know the perfect place!"
  1774. >One portal trip later, Anon has brought you to...
  1775. >"Twiley World! I came here by myself a few days ago, but it's really more of a group thing."
  1776. "Uh... Anon I'm not sure this is really an 'Adventure'."
  1777. >Trixie seems to disagree, her eyes trace all the moving rides and gizmos.
  1778. >She flings her arm up and points at massive green coaster.
  1779. >"THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE DEMANDS TO RIDE THE ANON!"
  1780. >You wait for the snarky remark, but it never comes.
  1781. >"Come on Twi, it will be really fun! A day of no danger with pals, think of it as celebration number two."
  1782. "Okay, fine. I'll try anything once. Just don't make me ride the Anon, I'd hate to ride that huge green Anon."
  1783. >"Okay, I won't make you ride the coaster. Now lets get some day passes!"
  1784. >Fucking seriously? Are you doing this wrong?
  1785. >You bet he'd laugh if Moondancer said it...
  1786. >Screw it, you're not about to let yourself become an entitled bitch.
  1787. >Before him you had no friends, now you have 3. That's more than enough for you.
  1788. "Let's all get funny hats!"
  1789.  
  1790. >The hat shop is run by some girl with hair like mustard and ketchup. You've never seen her before, but she must be important because there's tons of them running rides and carts in the park.
  1791. >Trixie is thrilled to find a hat in her likeness, you guess she's a half way normal companion because they have a tiny section for her.
  1792. >In the end you walk out with a trio of hats with cartoon versions of your faces.
  1793. >Well, Anon's is just a green hat with a question mark. It's the thought that counts though right?
  1794. >You pass by some scuffle between Twilights. Looks like a Redneck Twi vs an amputee Twi? She has a pretty sweet robo arm.
  1795. >You decide to go the long way to avoid them, don't want to get involved.
  1796. >"Trixie wants to ride all the biggest rides in the park!"
  1797. "Okay, let's start with the Anon since it's the longest line. We'll work our way down the list so we get all the best rides in!"
  1798. >"Or, we could just run around like idiots and say fuck it!"
  1799. >"Trixie likes that idea! Let's still start with the Anon though."
  1800. >Trixie runs off and gets in line.
  1801. "She's such a kid..."
  1802. >"We're at a theme park, we're supposed to act like kids."
  1803. "In that case... FIRST IN LINE RIDES WITH TRIXIE!"
  1804. >You shove him and make a B-line for the coaster line.
  1805. >"Not fair Twi! Not fair!"
  1806. >Sadly, you forgot Anon was the star of the track team.
  1807. >In the end you find out it seats 3 to a row, so it was a pointless race anyway.
  1808. >"Trixie is so nervous! She's never rode a ride before..."
  1809. "You fly around with a jet pack and kill people!"
  1810. >"That's different! Flying is freeing, soaring like bird. This is a death trap with bars and rails..."
  1811. >"Why'd you insist we ride it then?"
  1812. >"Trixie must face her fears if she is to be the bravest bounty hunter in the multiverse!"
  1813. >The bars auto lock, pinning Trixie between you.
  1814. >"Wait, Trixie changed her mind! Trixie doesn't need to be brave! Help!"
  1815.  
  1816. >The ride keeps chugging along, the click clack of metal and rails grinding follows you the length of the track leading up to the dissent.
  1817. >With all of the commotion, you almost forgot you've never ridden a roller coaster before.
  1818. >Shit.
  1819. >Trixie holds a tuft of her hair to her mouth as she hyperventilates.
  1820. >You decide this is a good plan of action and grab some for yourself. It's kind of comforting.
  1821. >Right before the plunge you let go of her mane, terrified you'll rip out her hair if you cling any longer.
  1822. >"If you feel like you're going to throw up, just scream! It helps!"
  1823. >Here we go.
  1824. >"*Click click...click...VOOOOOOOSH!*"
  1825. "AHHHHHHHHHHHH!
  1826. >"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH"
  1827. >"WOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
  1828. >The cart rushes around the park at incredible speeds. If you know Twilights as well as you should, this thing was designed with maximum intensity in mind.
  1829. >The twists and turns almost pull the wheels off the track, but you feel the cart auto adjust magnetically.
  1830. >For a full minute you all wizz around the park, and even through the center at one point, into the ground as attractions flash by your face through glass piping.
  1831. >Finally ending the torture, the ride ramps back outside into a spiral that crashes through water and into a giant Anon mouth.
  1832. "Holy shit... That was more intense than being shot at. Are you guys okay?"
  1833. >Anon looks like he has the time of his life. Trixie is just staring into space with eyes the size of dinner plates.
  1834. >"Trixie likes rides. Can Trixie live here? Trixie wants to live here."
  1835. >Guess you're the only sane one here...
  1836. >"Come on girls, let's go ride the S.S. Dykeshit next!"
  1837. >"Is it some kind of shipping vessel?
  1838. >"If the legends are true, it's the most controversial ride in the park!"
  1839. >You sincerely hope you're not the only Twilight that finds this park stupid as hell.
  1840.  
  1841. >Despite you're reluctance, the S.S. Dykeshit is actually really fun. It's like the traditional pirate ship ride they have some places, only huge and floated by some sort of levitation technology instead of poles.
  1842. >The technology in this park is probably the most interesting thing to you really, but thrills and funny hats aren't too bad you guess.
  1843. >Is this what your life would have been if you never pushed Moondancer? Would you have even gotten this far?
  1844. >Anon snaps you out of it with a cotton candy shaped like your unicorn face.
  1845. >"I'm telling you Twi, this place is the happiest place on homeworld! Where else can you get candy this cool?"
  1846. >Trixie is eating a caramel apple with a food color question mark stamped on it. Hair tied back in a massive pony tail.
  1847. >You swear to Tesla you aren't gay, but you want to be smothered in that hair. If it wasn't so dangerous in the lab you'd grow hair that big.
  1848. >"*Mmmmph* The apples here aren't as good as in U-1317, but Trixie will live."
  1849. >You decide to get some Sparkle fudge from the stand and tip the condiment haired girl. Anyone who has to deal with this many Twilights deserves it.
  1850. >"You are very kind, if you ever need some construction done I know some Shimmers who'd do it real cheap!"
  1851. "T-that's fine. Have a good day."
  1852. >Something tells you those girls are treated like second rate citizens.
  1853. >She makes damn good fudge though, this shit literally tastes like magic. Well, what you think magic tasted like I guess?
  1854. >The rest of the day at the park you all frolicked and acted like the teenagers you were.
  1855. >Anon was right, you were being too up tight. This place is a lot of fun.
  1856. >At the end of the night they held a fireworks show with fireworks shaped like Twilight related things.
  1857. >There were a lot that you couldn't identify, but one looked like that Pinkie bitch. Another was definitely Moondancer scowling.
  1858. >Probably supposed to be a joke, but you liked seeing her a part of the festivities.
  1859.  
  1860. >After a long night of fun, you bid Trixie farewell and promise to call her sometime.
  1861. >Upon returning home you find that Moondancer hasn't even missed you. She's constructed her own pile of monitors and note pads in which she's barricaded herself in.
  1862. >"Hey guys, made some basic changes to the R.O.S.E. that makes it easier to use. It separates data using magic to get you connected to your intended digital destination. Shit's really complicated, but it works."
  1863. "That's amazing! Any other features?"
  1864. >"You say that as if this wasn't enough! Do you even know how much coding it takes to make sure INFINITY is covered?"
  1865. >You put your hands on your hips like a sitcom mother.
  1866. >"...Okay yes FINE I did work on some other features. But that should be surprising, magic is unpredictable."
  1867. "So what else did you manage?"
  1868. >"The R.O.S.E. is self defensive, it's programmed to stay invisible and even teleport away from any danger. Alicorn magic is seriously incredible."
  1869. "Annnnnnnnd?"
  1870. >She looks at you with hatred in her eyes.
  1871. >"...I added in an optional orbital cannon function in case of emergency. It would take down the entire system for a while though, it takes a lot of magic to shoot lasers from orbit!"
  1872. "YES! I've always wanted a space laser!"
  1873. >Anon rolls his eyes.
  1874. >"What are you, a mad scientist?"
  1875. >You stare him dead in the eyes.
  1876. "Yes, yes I am. You live with TWO mad scientists and you bone them like rabbits. This is your life now."
  1877. >He thinks it over.
  1878. >"It's a good life, beats running in circles as a life."
  1879. >Spike runs up to Anon and scratches at his legs.
  1880. >"Plus I get plenty of that too with this little guy. Let's go for a late night walk Spike!"
  1881.  
  1882. >Anon leaves with Spike, those two never run out of energy do they?
  1883. >"So... How was your day with Anon?"
  1884. "You mean how was my day with Anon AND Trixie right?"
  1885. >She blushes and steps out of her programming fortress.
  1886. >"Yeah, how was your day?"
  1887. "It was a lot of fun, wish you could have been there."
  1888. >She half smiles at the response.
  1889. >"So, uh, when I woke up this morning you were in your room. Did you miss Spike or something?"
  1890. >You sigh and half smile back. You should get this girl shit out of the way before it becomes a 'thing'.
  1891. "Look, I know you're falling for Anon. It's cool, I'm fine with it. I just... I don't want to be a PART of that. I don't want to share a guy, I want my own."
  1892. >Moondancers face almost glows with redness at the accusation.
  1893. >"N-No! I-I mean I am, but... I don't have claim on anyone! I don't want to compete with you..."
  1894. >You pull her in for a hug.
  1895. "It's fine Moons, let's not make this a high school drama thing. I want you to be happy, and I'm happy just having friends and Spike."
  1896. >She buries her head in your shoulder.
  1897. >"Why did I ever try to kill you? What kind of monster was I that I actually thought you were a bad person...?"
  1898. >You roll your eyes.
  1899. "I broke your knee caps with a hammer because you were being slightly resistant. Lets face it, I was a monster waiting to happen."
  1900. >She giggles and hugs you tighter.
  1901. >"Promise you don't mind me taking Anon?"
  1902. "As long as you don't take Spike, I draw the line at Spike."
  1903. >She shoves you.
  1904. >"Like I'd want that drool ball anyway! Call me when you have a dragon Spike."
  1905. >It's nice to see her smiling again.
  1906. >You've got to protect that smile.
  1907.  
  1908. >The next day you arise with a mission.
  1909. >You're tired of being the nobody Twilight. You rely on Moondancer too much, you need to be your own Twilight.
  1910. >Whatever that Twilight is, you're going to find out.
  1911. >You heft up Spike and carry him like the baby he is, little guy is getting a little heavier but you think it's mostly muscle.
  1912. >Taking extra precaution you set Spike up with some food in the bathroom and close the door. You don't want him wandering out while you do this.
  1913. >Grabbing one of the plasma guns, you make your way outside into the morning mist.
  1914. >Frogs leap from tree, to leaf, to puddle. Most wild life on this planet is some sort of amphibian.
  1915. >Surely no one will miss a few.
  1916. >You keep track of which one's which by their color, only aiming for those you can keep track of.
  1917. >Shot after shot you blow them away, at least the ones you hit.
  1918. >You have to improve your aim.
  1919. >When it comes down to it, being a bad shot could get you killed.
  1920. >Or worse, them killed.
  1921. >You spend hours finding hoards of frogs and blasting them, until you finally manage to kill 20 in a row.
  1922. >It felt wonderful, it really did.
  1923. >If you could hit something that small reliably, you could shoot anything.
  1924. >You're plasma pack is getting low though, and you're pretty sure the froggy genocide has maxed out its usefulness.
  1925. >Sneaking back inside you keep your eyes out for Moons and Anon.
  1926. >They shouldn't have to worry about you.
  1927. >Placing the gun back in its resting place, you throw the ammo in the charger and head to the kitchen for some breakfast.
  1928. >One bowl of Sparkle-o's and some Sunset brand orange juice later and you're ready to face the day.
  1929.  
  1930. >When Anon eventually makes it out of his room you see he's carrying Moondancer. She's playfully thrashing and trying to break his grip.
  1931. >"You're going to eat the eggs and like it!"
  1932. >"Noooooo not the eggs!"
  1933. >They both crack up, it takes them a few seconds to notice you.
  1934. >"Oh, morning Twi. Uh... This might be awkward but-"
  1935. >You walk over and mess up Moondancers hair.
  1936. "Skip it Nonny, we already had girl talk about it. You guys are fucking adorable, enjoy your breakfast."
  1937. >"Uh... Okay? Thanks."
  1938. >You smile and head upstairs to check on your Alicorn wings. You want to figure out what to do with them while they're still in perfect condition.
  1939. >You briefly think about attaching them to ROSE, not for any functional purpose, just because then it would look like the final boss from Kirby and the Crystal Shards.
  1940. >Probably the stupidest idea you've ever had, but it's amusing none the less.
  1941. >The more that you look at these things, the more you wonder how they work.
  1942. >Even when you were a tiny horse, these things shouldn't have been able to lift you off the ground. You saw tons of ponies flying though.
  1943. >Maybe they're magic too?
  1944. >You decide to do some tests, being as careful as possible not to damage any of the sensitive tissues.
  1945. >Moondancer mostly leaves you alone over the next few hours. She tried to help after breakfast but you politely declined.
  1946. >Working together is fun, but you wanted this to be your own project.
  1947. >Once the clock strikes noon you have a basic rig set up. The base of the wings are attached to an artificial shoulder set. In theory it should keep them 'alive' in a sense, and you can remotely make them move in all the ways they originally did.
  1948. >You decide to stop there for the day and let them sit on the desk over night. Hopefully they don't decompose.
  1949. >Just as you're about to see what Anon's up to, you get a call.
  1950. Ringtone: https://youtu.be/OvonS2go-9E?list=PLZzKhgUfPukB9iaEDNy4YAO_KtkDwSFeA
  1951.  
  1952. >Didn't expect a call from Trixie so soon.
  1953. "Hello?"
  1954. >["Twilight! Trixie was wondering if you guys would like to help her on a bounty mission?"]
  1955. "You need help? Is it a really hard one?"
  1956. >["Please, Trixie has no problem with ANY bounty. She merely loves the company, bounty missions are very lonely."]
  1957. >You guess it would be exciting.
  1958. "Hey guys, Trixies inviting us on a bounty mission. You guys interested?"
  1959. >"Sure, I missed out yesterday. I could use the excitement.
  1960. >"So we're looking for trouble now? You girls are crazy."
  1961. "Are you in or out Anon?"
  1962. >"I'm in. If you guys got shot because I wasn't there i'd feel like shit."
  1963. "We're all in Trixie, let's meet up in front of the Tavern. It's one of the few places I know the coordinates of."
  1964. >["Sounds good. See you soon!"]
  1965. >It takes a few minutes for everyone to get ready, you have to split the supplies and weapons more evenly in case you split up.
  1966. >One portal later and you're there.
  1967. >"You kept Trixie waiting! What took you so long?"
  1968. >You look at your phone, it's been 12 minutes.
  1969. "Oh no, how hurt you must be! How can we ever make it up to you?"
  1970. >"Trixie takes bribes."
  1971. >Eyes locked you stare at her for a few seconds before she bursts out laughing.
  1972. >"Trixie had you good! Thanks for coming on such short notice friends!"
  1973. "No problem. So mind explaining who/what we're killing?"
  1974. >"Wait, Trixie didn't mention it on the phone?"
  1975. "Nope."
  1976. >"Who accepts a bounty without knowing who their killing? That's kind of important Sparkle..."
  1977. >You roll your eyes. Anon and Moondancer stand by tapping their shoes.
  1978. "That's why I'm asking now! So who is it?"
  1979. >"Oh, we're hunting Shimmigrants. Easy money really, 1000 credits per confirmed kill. We're only killing dangerous ones, but some... less morally inclined bounty hunters, they just take any they can find."
  1980.  
  1981. >Moondancer steps up.
  1982. >"We're hunting small time Sunsets? That's dirty and you know it!"
  1983. >Trixe turns up her nose.
  1984. >"Trixie already said, she only hunts DANGEROUS Shimmers! Trixie would hunt any dangerous criminals, including other Trixies!"
  1985. >Moondancer and Trixie share a knowing look, softening Moondancers anger.
  1986. >"Understood. Sorry, I shouldn't have questioned you like that."
  1987. >"Apology accepted. Now we should get to U-1919."
  1988. >Anon looks at her confused.
  1989. >"We're not hunting here?"
  1990. >"Oh god no, this is a very Sunset friendly universe. We've got to go somewhere much uglier!"
  1991. >"Well that's reassuring."
  1992. >"So, mind if we use your portal gun? The portal I usually use is kind of expensive..."
  1993. >So that's why she wanted you to come. Figures.
  1994. >U-1919 looks a lot like modern day Boston. Nothing specific, just a general over all feel.
  1995. >"Trixie will buy you guys hot dogs if you want. They don't take credits here."
  1996. >From the looks of it you're the only one willing to take her up on that.
  1997. >You and Trixie cruise like bad asses with Sunset Shimmer style hot dogs.
  1998. >"So... Where do you think we'll find these criminal Shimmers Trixie?"
  1999. >"*Mmph* That's easy, find dark areas away from cops. They're all over the place."
  2000. >Looking around you don't exactly see many shadowy areas.
  2001. "Such as?"
  2002. >Trixie finished off her dog and pops her finger tips in and out of her mouth.
  2003. >"Does Trixie have to point out everything to you? There!"
  2004. >She points to a building with a few broken windows. It looks rather abandoned and boarded up.
  2005. >Anon face palms, well not FACE palm... God damn it you know what you mean.
  2006.  
  2007. >Examining the building, you're fairly certain there's a hidden entrance on the back side.
  2008. >Trixie holds her finger to her lip as she gingerly pulls on some boards. They swing outwards in unison exposing the door they're nailed to.
  2009. >"Now remember, these girls are criminals. A little mercy at the wrong time can get you killed, so don't do anything stupid."
  2010. >Moondancer and Anon nod.
  2011. >Sneaking your way in you keep your eyes open for any movement.
  2012. >The inside is surprisingly well kept, not immaculate by any means, but basically clean.
  2013. >The further you get without seeing a Shimmer, the tenser you get.
  2014. >Eventually you hit an open area in the building. It looks like they took out a few floors and rooms, but for what reason you have no clue.
  2015. >You can faintly hear them above though, only a half floor staircase separating you.
  2016. >>"I'll give you... for..."
  2017. >>"That's crazy! This is very..."
  2018. >It's no good, you can't make it out. It definitely sounds like the girls at the park though.
  2019. >"On the count of three, we storm in guns blazing okay?"
  2020. >The three of you nod in unison.
  2021. >As she counts down her mask slides over her face from presumably behind her hair, and a mechanism on her back expands out into her jet pack.
  2022. >Guess she likes to hunt with flair?
  2023. >"One...Two...Three!"
  2024. >Her jets flare sending her into the air, the rest of you charge up the stairs.
  2025. >There you find that their are far more than a couple Shimmers.
  2026. >You'd say there's at minimum twenty spread across the room.
  2027. >>"FUCK IT'S A RAID!"
  2028.  
  2029. >The Shimmers immediately duck behind anything they can find as they scramble to get their guns out.
  2030. >Trixie uses her higher ground to shoot a few, and you assume from their reaction they hit.
  2031. >>"SHIT! Shoot them you cunts!"
  2032. >A few pop up and aim at Trixie. You take your first shot and...
  2033. >Right through one of their hearts! That's a damn good shot if you do say so yourself!
  2034. >Moondancer shoots one of the others guns out of their hands, and Anon skims the others shoulder leaving her injured.
  2035. "Yeah! I'm getting so much better at this!"
  2036. >The remaining Sunset out of cover makes a dash for you, probably hoping to make it harder for Trixie to hit her.
  2037. >It manages to work for the first part, Trixies plasma bolt singes through her hair but doesn't seem to hit any flesh.
  2038. >Moondancer and you however take her out with a shot to the leg and her neck.
  2039. >The unarmed Sunset cowers back behind a crate, you'll get her later.
  2040. >Trixie makes a few more well aimed shots while the rest of you give her cover fire.
  2041. >One of the injured Sunsets pounces up holding a lit Molotov.
  2042. >With a lucky shot, you manage to break it mid throw lighting the entire center row on fire.
  2043. >The screams were not pleasant, but Trixie puts them out of their misery as quickly as her gun allows.
  2044. >Moondancer and Anon don't look like their feeling alright. You're pretty sure they're not hit though.
  2045. >Trixie gestures you to rush as she flies into the remaining fray.
  2046. >It looks like they're down to 5, and none of them seem to have any of their own guns.
  2047. "Come on, I saw one hide over there earlier."
  2048. >They hesitantly follow as you make your way over to the crate.
  2049. >>"P-Please don't kill me! I'm just trying to make money I swear!"
  2050. "Likely story."
  2051. >You take aim, but Moondancer gets in your way.
  2052.  
  2053. >"Twilight, she's giving up! You can't just execute her!"
  2054. >Your eyes shift from her, to Sunset, to Anon.
  2055. >She starts to get up, hiding partially behind Moondancer.
  2056. >>"T-That's right! I-I give up s-so..."
  2057. >Poor girl looks terrified, and she doesn't even have a gun.
  2058. >Moondancer is right... You're going too far.
  2059. >Wait.
  2060. >A glint of metal swiftly makes it way in front of Moondancers throat.
  2061. >>"DIE BITCH!"
  2062. >You hope to god your aim isn't shit as you pull the trigger.
  2063. >The knife falls to the floor, following shortly by Sunset.
  2064. >It looks like she took a bolt to the eye,... and another to the forehead?
  2065. >You glance at Anon, who's holding his gun with both hands trying to keep it steady.
  2066. >"Moondancer, are you okay?"
  2067. >She feels her neck, it's bleeding but doesn't seem to be deep.
  2068. >"Y-yeah. Let's get Trixie and get the hell out of here."
  2069. >You make your way through the carnage and around the fire, keeping your eyes out for any survivors.
  2070. >As you make your way through the archway at the end of the room you see Trixie fire the last bolt through a sunset.
  2071. >"You guys all okay?"
  2072. "Yeah, we're alive."
  2073. >"Good. Usually this is where we'd have to gather trophies..."
  2074. >She throws the Sunset corpse to the floor.
  2075. >"But with that ROSE system we can just call in with our coordinates, really makes the job easier!"
  2076. >Her mask retracts as she lands.
  2077. >"You guys go back to the bar and order some drinks on my tab, tell the bartender I'm paying it off tonight."
  2078.  
  2079. >About an hour later Trixie shows up at the bar.
  2080. >She slams a pile of credits in front of you each, and tosses the bar keep a smaller bundle.
  2081. >"Whats this Trixie?"
  2082. >"Are you dense Anon? That's your cut! I had them divide it into 4."
  2083. >You all exchange looks before collectively sliding the bundles back to her.
  2084. >"What are you doing? You earned that money fair and square!"
  2085. "We don't want it. This was a favor, keep your money."
  2086. >Trixie furrows her brow.
  2087. >"Trixie doesn't accept that! You risked your life for Trixie, and you were a great help!"
  2088. >She slides the credits back over.
  2089. >Moondancer takes a swig of her drink.
  2090. >"Look, you don't owe us anything. You saved our lives yesterday, we just returned a favor."
  2091. >Trixie sits in her usual spot at the bar.
  2092. >"Trixie gets it, first blood right?"
  2093. "Second, third if you count aliens... are we counting a hoard of human shaped aliens as one person?"
  2094. >"I think that's fair, Moons and I are second blood too I guess."
  2095. >"Okay fine, Trixies point is you're all a little shaken. Killing a gang of Shimmers will do that...but..."
  2096. >She reaches into her side pouch and tosses out some pictures.
  2097. >"Those girls were apart of the Interdimensional Society of Illegal Shimmigrants, and not small time ones either."
  2098. >One of the photo's is a crate filled with a few Twilight heads. Another is full of assorted pony parts.
  2099. >"My god, even Muppet has higher standards than that! Who ships heads loose in a crate..."
  2100. >"Exactly. I told you, the Great and Powerful Trixie doesn't deal in small time Shimmers!"
  2101. >The barkeep comes back with Trixies usual.
  2102. >"Bet those credits don't look so dirty now, do they?"
  2103.  
  2104. "I thought we we're just taking down hardened crooks..."
  2105. >"Nope! Looks like this time it was terrorists. Win some lose some I guess."
  2106. >Anon finishes his drink.
  2107. >"So, did we summon another army to our door?"
  2108. >"Pshaw, they wouldn't even know which versions of you to find. Plus, no survivors."
  2109. >"Fair point..."
  2110. >You all make small talk for a while, eventually you decide to head home.
  2111. >"Sparkle, before you leave... There was something on the scene that...well it would make Trixie VERY rich... Oh whatever, it's not my right to keep it."
  2112. >She passes you a purple star shaped gem.
  2113. "What is this?"
  2114. >Moondancer seems stunned in it's presence.
  2115. >"They had an Element of Harmony!?"
  2116. >Trixie nods.
  2117. >"Not just any element, the element of Magic. Trixie doesn't know where they got it, but it sure as hell didn't belong to them."
  2118. >She makes eye contact with you.
  2119. >"If you sell this, Trixie will never forgive you. Keep it safe, it's your birthright Sparkle."
  2120. >You have no clue what she's talking about, but you agree anyway.
  2121. >"Call Trixie any time! She gets bored often."
  2122. >"We will Trixie."
  2123. >One portal later and you're home.
  2124. >Spike rushes up to you as usual, although seemingly concerned about Moondancers neck wound.
  2125. >Moondancer picks him up and lets him lick her face for a while.
  2126. >"Twi... I'm sorry for getting in your way back there."
  2127. "Moons, it's fine. I was getting out of control..."
  2128. >She shakes her head.
  2129. >"No, you were IN control. You saw a bunch of girls trying to kill us, I was trying to see a reason to spare them. If you two had been a second later on the draw I'd be dead."
  2130. >Anon winces at the thought.
  2131. >"I'm never going to let that happen."
  2132. "Neither will I."
  2133. >"Good. Twilight, I'm following your lead from now on."
  2134.  
  2135. >You and Moondancer agree its a drunken science night.
  2136. >Anon decides to sit in the corner and stay up with you guys, but really just out of curiosity.
  2137. "So Moons, I had an idea for something cool... but it might be a little wasteful."
  2138. >"What is it? Does it have to do with the creepy Alicorn wing holsters?"
  2139. >Looking them over, they look no worse for wear.
  2140. "Yes actually. I was thinking we could do something like Ironman, but if he was a pretty Pegasus princess."
  2141. >Anon perks up.
  2142. >"That's a comic I'd like to read."
  2143. >"You're right though. That's the stupidest, biggest waste of resources I could imagine."
  2144. "O-oh, yeah... I guess that's out then."
  2145. >She raises a brow.
  2146. >"What are you talking about? Anon, make us a pot of coffee. We're working through the night!"
  2147. >Honestly you saw that coming, but Moondancer looks like she's proud of the turn around so you go with it.
  2148. >It's going to take a lot more than one night to build, and probably longer until it works...
  2149. >But just think how cool it will be to fly like Trixie does.
  2150. >Plus, maybe you could do some research on plasma resistant metals? Not sure what is or isn't safe against plasma weapons.
  2151. >Working through the night, you only manage to build a neural transmitter and a proper set up for the wings.
  2152. >Turns out planning is easy drunk, but not fucking up with tools took much longer.
  2153. >Against your better judgement, you decide to see if they'll get you off the ground.
  2154. "3...2...1... flap!"
  2155. >It takes a few tries to figure out the mental signal for flapping wings, but it eventually works!
  2156. >But you still don't get off the ground really. At max flap you raise just enough to hover a centimeter, but it's really hard.
  2157. >Baby steps Twilight, baby steps.
  2158.  
  2159. >You spend the next few days working on the project with Moondancer.
  2160. >Anon doesn't provide much help technology wise, but he's good company. You're fairly sure most of his quips have been comic book jokes though.
  2161. >By the end of the project you have a suit that any magical girl Tony stark would be envious of.
  2162. >It's G.a.R.B.S.S. operated. It should be able to materialize around you magical girl style.
  2163. >However... You're not too keen on finding out what happens if it gets it wrong.
  2164. >Not only the 'What if it materializes partially inside of me' problem, but also the risk of it breaking in transit.
  2165. >In addition to all that, you weren't exactly exaggerating when you said it was magical girl style.
  2166. >The suit only really worked if it was being powered by that gem Trixie gave to you.
  2167. >From what you've been told, its powered by friendship or something? Too many factors for your taste.
  2168. >You decide for now the suit will remain in testing until you can work out some of the risks.
  2169. >The 'Element' is set in a pendant, similar to the mechanism on Spikes collar, so you just decide to wear it.
  2170. >A little gaudy, but when have you been into fashion?
  2171. Ringtone: https://youtu.be/OvonS2go-9E
  2172. >Trixie? Oh yeah you said you'd call her to chat sometime...
  2173. >You're still not used to the whole 'Using the phone as a phone' thing.
  2174. "Hey Trixie, sorry I haven't called in like 3 days... Been busy at home."
  2175. >["That's okay, Trixie is used to it."]
  2176. "So, what is it this time? Hopefully not another bounty..."
  2177. >["No, although I still don't see why you guys are so hung up on that."]
  2178. "So what is it then?"
  2179. >["Trixie met a new friend! She says she wants to meet you guys."
  2180. "She does? Why us?"
  2181. >["She's from U-888, that's what you said your universe code was right?"]
  2182.  
  2183. >You take turns showering and get dressed before you go.
  2184. >Whoever this person is, you feel they'd want to see you at your best.
  2185. >You throw on your pendant and pack a few guns just in case, then the three of you portal to the Library.
  2186. >Trixie waves to you from a few steps up the stairway.
  2187. >"Come with Trixie!"
  2188. >She hops playfully up the colorful glowing staircase up to the doors and pushes her way inside.
  2189. >Trying to keep up, you all follow her through the doors and around the maze of bookcases. Anon is the only one who can truly match her energy though.
  2190. >"Where exactly are you leading us?"
  2191. >"She has a room in the back, we're going to meet up in there."
  2192. >"Why does she have a room in a library? Does she work here?"
  2193. >"Sort of, you'll see."
  2194. >She approaches the door and knocks four times. After a few seconds a familiar face greets you.
  2195. >"Oh! Hey Trixie! I see you brought T-888 and friends, nice!"
  2196. >She walks out of the doorway and offers her hand.
  2197. >"Hey T-888, I'm S-888. I'm the Sunset Shimmer of your world!"
  2198. >You freeze in place.
  2199. >The last time you saw a Sunset she was trying to slit Moondancers throat.
  2200. >"...Oh. Uh, yeah that's okay. I was kind of hoping you weren't one of THOSE Twilights but... Whatever."
  2201. >Her hand starts to go down, but you snatch it.
  2202. "No, sorry I was just a little surprised was all..."
  2203. >She tilts her head.
  2204. >"Why? Didn't Trixie tell you I wanted to meet you?"
  2205. "Yeah, but I didn't know WHO we were meeting."
  2206. >She looks at you with the same look as before.
  2207. >"Is me being a Shimmer a problem?"
  2208. >Moondancer sees you flopping like a fish so she butts in.
  2209. >"She had to kill a bunch of ISIS members a few days ago, I think her brain is just a little frazzled at the moment."
  2210. >"Oh... Yeah that makes sense. Why don't you all come in."
  2211.  
  2212. >The room is pretty basic, just a matress and a drawer for her clothes with some pictures and trinkets scattered on top.
  2213. "Is this where you live?"
  2214. >She shrugs.
  2215. >"Kind of? It's where I sleep, the library is where I live."
  2216. >A:"You live in a Library? Why would you want to live in a public library?"
  2217. >"Are you kidding? I BEGGED to live here! I can read a book a day and still die before I run out!"
  2218. >A:"You could do that anyway, thats the point of a library..."
  2219. >She blushes.
  2220. >"W-well the point is I like it! I'm living the Shimmer dream."
  2221. "Oh, about that! Why are Shimmers treated so badly? You're the first Shimmer I've met that wasn't working a stand or shooting at us..."
  2222. >Moondancer butts in.
  2223. >M:"She's being litteral, she's new to the whole multiverse thing."
  2224. >Sunset waves it off.
  2225. >"Don't worry about offending me, you two care and that's enough."
  2226. >She then gestures to Anon
  2227. >"And you Mr. Emerald Savior, I've never met an Anon I didn't like... And by the look of those muscles you won't be the first."
  2228. >She winks at Anon, unapologetically.
  2229. >Moondancer stares daggers at Sunset.
  2230. >M:"AHEM, so about that systematic oppression?"
  2231. >"Oh, yeah sorry. Got a little distracted. I guess it's because most Shimmers are either forced out of their home universe, or become corrupt with power... I wasn't, but that's not important to most people. Hard to deny a reputation when most of you look identical."
  2232. "That... Seems like an odd coincidence? Why are so many Shimmers like that?"
  2233. >"Oh it's not coincidence, absolute power corrupts absolutely. Only difference is most Shimmers are born before Twilights, and thus prepare the world for you guys.
  2234. "I... Dont quite understand how that works."
  2235. >"That's okay, you'll find no one else does either."
  2236.  
  2237. >You're not sure what to think of all this.
  2238. "Um... I'm sorry I killed a bunch of you yesterday..."
  2239. >She rolls her eyes.
  2240. >"Don't be, those terrorists only make us look worse. I understand what they're TRYING to do but... fuck never mind. If it makes things less awkward, I was the informate who told Trixie about U-1919. You basically did me a favor."
  2241. >M:"Wait, whats special about U-1919?"
  2242. >"Wait, Trixie you didn't tell them?"
  2243. >T:"Trixie didn't think it mattered!"
  2244. >Sunset places her face in her hand.
  2245. >"19 19, As in S.S. It's where Interdimensional Shimmers do their dirty business. No Shimmer would be caught dead there unless they were breaking interdimensional law."
  2246. >Trixie puffs out her cheeks.
  2247. >T:"Trixie doesn't like sharing valuable information like this, bounty competition can be fierce."
  2248. >The four of you stare at Trixie disapprovingly.
  2249. >"ANYWAY as nice as this topic is, it isn't why I asked you guys to visit. I wanted to get to know my fellow U-888 dimension hoppers!"
  2250. >She plops herself on her bed and flashes a smile.
  2251. >"Tell me about you guys! Been anywhere exciting? How's life on earth going?"
  2252. >The three of you go over the basics of your life, how you all met, stuff you personally found boring to recap.
  2253. >She was loving every minute of it though.
  2254. >"Wait, so you guys met Lyra from our universe? That's crazy, I didn't even know ours was multidimensional! She beat you guys to space through magic of all things? That's nuts! What about Minuette?"
  2255. >M:"Nope, last I saw of her was a hospital visit... I mean she was visiting ME, I don't think she's in any danger."
  2256. >"Awww, too bad. That girl was full of spunk!"
  2257. >They laugh together, almost like old friends.
  2258. >"Hey, lets continue this at the bar. This room is starting to feel a little cramped."
  2259.  
  2260. >A few drinks in and some heavy flirting later, Moondancer and Anon decide to head in for the night.
  2261. >She winks at you about a thousand times, as if you didn't get the hint.
  2262. >You decide to stay with Trixie and Sunset for a while. It's less awkward that way.
  2263. "So, what do you girls wanna do? I figure I have at least an hour to kill."
  2264. >They both raise a brow.
  2265. >"An hour? Really?"
  2266. >You nod.
  2267. "If I'm lucky. I'll probably make it two just to be safe."
  2268. >"Trixie calls dibs if Moondancer dies."
  2269. "No dibs! Plus if anyone gets dibs its me!"
  2270. >Sunset laughs at both of you.
  2271. >"I know what we should do! Lets pick up guys!"
  2272. >You think it over, honestly its not the worst idea... but you're not really ready for a relationship yet.
  2273. "I think I'm out, not really feeling the whole dating thing."
  2274. >"Trixie agrees, she's not the best at picking up guys..."
  2275. >"Hmmm... well then. There is another option, all the fun none of the commitment~"
  2276. "Hm?"
  2277. >Her smile widens.
  2278. >"Girls, we're going to Orgy Planet!"
  2279. >You litterally do a spit take with your drink.
  2280. "WHAT? No, lets not and say we did."
  2281. >"T-T-Trixie's never gone before... But she's always w-wanted to..."
  2282. >"Come on Twi, don't be a buzz kill!"
  2283. >Are these bitches serious? Are you the only one who doesn't have some orgy fetish?
  2284. >Still... You did say that you'd try anything once...
  2285. >And it IS a Twilight run planet... maybe they know something you don't?
  2286. "Oh what the hell! Lets do it, but im only fucking dudes this time!"
  2287.  
  2288. >Orgy planet is suprisingly well organized. When you first imagined it you thought it would be a barren planet with millions of people fucking on the ground like animals. Turns out while that is an option, its not the main appeal. They have an entire economy based around fetish fulfillment. Pills that do this, lotions that do that, toys, litterally anything you can imagine they can help you achieve your dreams.
  2289. >They even have a Moon where you can do the real tabboo shit, like people genetically related to Twilights and animals.
  2290. >You honestly dont know where to start.
  2291. >Sunny and Trixie went running off right after you got there, something about secret fetishes staying secret.
  2292. >Why did they make you come if they're going to abandon you?
  2293. >You don't know if you even have a fetish, besides dicks that is.
  2294. >Pretty sure that's not even a fetish.
  2295. >Oh fuck it, I doubt any guy is going to care if you're boring as long as their getting sex.
  2296. >You do have one, fairly vanilla, sexual desire you'd like to try though...
  2297. "H-hey Twilight..."
  2298. >>"T-1000"
  2299. >How the fuck am I supposed to know that?
  2300. "T-1000, how much for a temporary breast enhancer?"
  2301. >>"Pill or fast acting lotion?"
  2302. "L-lotion sounds pleasant..."
  2303. >>"You know it sister! That will be 5 credits, added to your bill automatically."
  2304. "Shit that's cheap, yeah add that to my tab! Where would you recommend a boring Twilight go to unwind?"
  2305. >She hands you a small tube, then points towards a cozy looking building. You'd probably call it a log cabin?
  2306. >>"Thats the Anon Cabin, sex up as many Anons in whatever way you want. Just keep it basic, they're vollenteers."
  2307. >You bite your lip.
  2308. "Sounds perfect."
  2309. >You were actually really excited, you never considered multiple guys at once...
  2310. >Kicking open the door you see 3 Anons, and they definitely seem happy to see you.
  2311.  
  2312. CHOOSE YOUR ADVENTURE!
  2313. Twilight: http://pastebin.com/t0Wp2Wed
  2314. Trixie: http://pastebin.com/YqtB06Xf
  2315. Sunset: http://pastebin.com/HC3GxBRZ
  2316. Anon: http://pastebin.com/RZiZGZ5e
  2317.  
  2318. >Several hours later~
  2319. >That was litterally the best sex you've ever had.
  2320. >You're sore all over, but sweet fuck was that good.
  2321. >Fuck dignity and all that shit, you're coming back whenever you have an itch to scratch.
  2322. >It's getting kind of late though, better find the girls.
  2323. >A few texts later and you've found them.
  2324. >Trixies hair is a mess, but a happy mess. Sunset is covered in marks and bruises, but she's glowing with joy so you assume it's intentional.
  2325. "You look like you both had a good time."
  2326. >"Trixie wants to live here, please tell Trixie they have housing here"
  2327. >"They don't, only hotels."
  2328. >"Don't crush Trixies dreams!"
  2329. >You all share a laugh.
  2330. >Dropping off the girls in front of the library you say your good byes.
  2331. "We should hang out sometime Sunset! Want to come on our next adventure?"
  2332. >"Eh... I don't know. I'm pretty busy with the library..."
  2333. >A group of drunk... Anons? A whole group of them pass by.
  2334. >>"DO IIIIIIIT!"
  2335. >Sunset laughs.
  2336. >"Guess my hands are tied then! Call me anytime Twi."
  2337. >You have no idea what all those Anons were doing here, but you guess they were pretty helpful?
  2338. "Awesome, have a good night girls!"
  2339. >You share one of your few non-awkward hugs. Hugs feel really nice.
  2340. >I'd feel nicer if you're whole body wasn't throbbing though.
  2341. >Making your way back home, you take your pendant off and crawl into bed.
  2342.  
  2343. >The next morning, or I guess its noonish really, you crawl out of bed reluctantly.
  2344. >Your body is so sore, and covered in friction rashes on... sensitive areas.
  2345. >It's not a good adventure day, more a be boring and work on the suit day.
  2346. >In your idle drunken chat yesterday you mentioned the suits concept to Sunny, and she was pretty sure you could improve it by making it out of Mythril. Allegedly it's not only a real metal in this universe, but resistant to plasma bolt levels of heat. In the amount you'd be using, it would only be able to stop a few shots in any one area, but it would be way better than the risk you're taking now.
  2347. >In any case, you were going to do some boring planning and rest today. If you felt better tomorrow THEN maybe you could go on a crazy adventure.
  2348. >In the mean time...
  2349. "Spike, TO THE LAB!"
  2350. ----------
  2351. >Be Anon
  2352. >Last night was fucking amazing, holy shit.
  2353. >Moondancer cuddled up to you all last night afterwards, which was really pleasant you're not going to lie.
  2354. >You're so glad Twi is okay with this... Moondancer felt so natural in your arms.
  2355. >You really hope this lasts. You're previous girlfriends obviously didn't.
  2356. >She nuzzles into you, her pajamas rubbing softly against your arm.
  2357. >Now that you're more awake... when did she put on pajamas?
  2358. >Last you remember she was pretty nude. Did she get up in the middle of the night?
  2359. >Eh, whatever. They were adorable though, mascot print from Twilight homeworld.
  2360. >You opt to wake her up. As nice as it is to watch her sleep, it's past noon.
  2361. >A few pecks to the lips and she stirs to life.
  2362. >"Nooooooo... 5 more minutes."
  2363. "Not a chance Moonpie, get your ass up."
  2364. >She wiggles exclusively her butt in the air sassily.
  2365. >A few playful spanks later the wrestling ensues.
  2366. >"Pft, ha ha ha ha! I hope today never ends!"
  2367.  
  2368. >Be Twilight
  2369. >Thank god yesterday ended. Your body is much less tender today, and that means hands on adventure!
  2370. >It warmed your heart to see those two goof balls enjoying themselves at home, but waiting to get your hands on that Mythril was torture.
  2371. >As promised, you invite Sunset to the gathering quest. It's kind of a no brainier since she's the one who knows the coordinates, but it's the thought that counts.
  2372. >She texts you back with the coordinates and tells you to leave your weapons at home...
  2373. >Honestly you're not comfortable with that, but you're pretty sure you can trust this Sunset.
  2374. >You keep the pendant though, worse comes to worse the current suit SHOULD function after all. Better than going in defenseless.
  2375. >When you get there you spot Sunset immediately, but her appearance shocks you.
  2376. >She's wearing some sort of red leather short/boot/top combo that looks borderline hookerish.
  2377. >"Hey guys! Welcome to Ragol! I mean, technically we're in orbit AROUND Ragol at the moment, but that's just red tape.
  2378. "Uh, awesome. What's with the get up?"
  2379. >She looks herself over, almost not understanding the question, then it clicks.
  2380. >"OH! Yeah, this place is really strict on what can and cannot be brought to the planets surface. You have to go trade in your shit and get changed if we're going to gather anything."
  2381. >Anon looks astonished at everything he sees. Following his gaze, you realize that this is a space arc of some kind.
  2382. >Not only that, but it looks... familiar.
  2383. >A:"Sunny, isn't this Pioneer Two from PSO?"
  2384. >Your eyes widen.
  2385. >"Uh... Kinda? This came AFTER the game by hundreds of years in this universe but... yes."
  2386. "I knew this looked fucking familiar! Is this a society of fucking nerds?"
  2387. >"Yes, it really is. If you have a better way to legally obtain this super rare metal though I'd love to hear it!"
  2388. >You shake your head.
  2389. "Fuck that, I always loved PSO. I just think it's ridiculous for about a hundred reasons."
  2390.  
  2391. >She sighs and points you over to the check in desk.
  2392. >"You'll have to play along with their rules. They're like LARP dorks on cocaine so just pretend this is a normal space mission, because technically it is."
  2393. >All three of you nod.
  2394. >At the check in desk you all have to decide classes and 'races', which really just translates to what you get to dress as and what weapons they allow you to use.
  2395. >In layman's terms, you choose to be the mage because they're OP as shit. Moondancer opts to have a gun like usual, and Anon chooses to have a photon sword. They have their own fancy terms for it, but that's the general idea.
  2396. >Looks like Sunny has some sort of Photon Scythe? Kind of an impractical weapon but whatever.
  2397. >They let you keep a few things, like the bag of holding (After it's emptied) and things they deem harmless like the pendant and Nonny's stupid punching gloves he like to wear.
  2398. >They take your portal gun though. Sunny swears they're to be trusted, so you let it happen... but you really don't like it.
  2399. >"I swear they give everything back, they don't want any trouble. Just enjoy yourself Twi!"
  2400. >You mumble to yourself
  2401. "That's easy for you to say... You're Skyly master race! I got fucking Purplenum."
  2402. >"That literally doesn't even matter, it's just for fun."
  2403. "It matters in my heart!"
  2404. >She rolls her eyes.
  2405. >"Let's just go to the planets surface and gather some shit."
  2406. >M:"Sounds good to me."
  2407. >The four of you go to the warp pad and select the only currently available option, The Forest.
  2408. >Unlike true teleportation you were all still solid mass during the warp, so you decide to have a minor chat.
  2409. "So Sunny, are the monsters going to be anything like the game?"
  2410. >"Not really, except maybe a few."
  2411. >A:"No Hildebears right?"
  2412. >"Well..."
  2413. >The warp reaches its destination.
  2414.  
  2415. >You arrive in a grassy area with a lot of raised ledges. They seemed to have installed gates and hologram buttons to separate areas off.
  2416. >M"For a place called "The forest" there aren't many trees..."
  2417. >"Yeah, the place after this makes more sense really."
  2418. >You shrug.
  2419. "It's pretty close to what I remember when I was a kid. I'd say they picked a good planet to nerd out on."
  2420. >A:"Yeah... About that Hildebear question Sunset?"
  2421. >"Oh! Yeah thats... one of the similar species on this planet. Along with Rappies and Grass Assassins."
  2422. "Of fucking course, of all the things to evolve on this planet it had to be ogres and giant fucking praying mantises.
  2423. >M:"Don't forget the over grown chickens."
  2424. >A:"Oh, you've played PSO Moondancer?"
  2425. >M:"Nope."
  2426. >She points to a small gathering of peaceful yellow birds. They're almost penguin like.
  2427. >M:"Should I shoot them?" Are they even dangerous?"
  2428. >"Nope, I mean feel free if you really want to, but they're really just more of a pest."
  2429. "Are they like the Rappies in game?"
  2430. >She sighs.
  2431. >"If you mean 'Are they immortal' then no, a good shot will murder them. The animals may be named the same things, but they're just that, animals. We just have to stay alive and make our way through to the mines. Anything we find we can keep, that's the rules."
  2432. >You nod and proceed further into the area. Swiping your hand through the button triggers the gate to open.
  2433. >To your disappointment, there isn't much to fight as you proceed from gate to gate. You're fairly sure the wild life around here has learned humans are dangerous and to avoid them.
  2434. >You see some beasts here and there that look dangerous, but most of them leave you alone.
  2435. >Before long, you've made it to the caves entrance.
  2436. >"Okay, this is where shit gets real. We were lucky nothing bothered us thus far, but inside the caves is much more violent. Keep those weapons-"
  2437. >"*THUMP*"
  2438. "Shit!"
  2439.  
  2440. >Sunset instinctively reaches for her gun.
  2441. >Which she doesn't have.
  2442. >The behemoth of a monster swats her like a fly into a nearby wall.
  2443. >M:"SUNSET!"
  2444. >The three of you draw your weapons and try to make some kind of tactical formation. Anon goes in with his photon sword while you and Moondancer keep a distance and use range attacks.
  2445. >Anon gets a clean strike on its stomach, but the monster barely flinches.
  2446. >You're clearly doing damage to it, there's burn marks all over him. He's just not going down!
  2447. >Moondancer aims for his eyes, managing to sear one of them out with a good shot.
  2448. >The 'Hildebear' turns his attention to Moondancer, barreling right through Anons attacks.
  2449. >M:"Shit shit shit!"
  2450. >As the Goliath raises his fists, it lets loose a mighty roar!
  2451. >...That peters off into a light whine. The beast falls down, allowing Sunny to rip her Photon Scythe out of his skull.
  2452. >"Shit, that hurt. You guys okay?"
  2453. >A:"Yeah, we're fine. Do you have any broken bones? That looked really rough."
  2454. >"No, I'm fine. I'm going to have one fucking hell of a bruise, but i'll live."
  2455. >M:"Are you sure Sunny? They have a medical bay on Pioneer 2 right?"
  2456. >She frowns and waves her off.
  2457. >"Just, trust me. I've had worse. If we see some boxes we'll break them open and search for some monomates or something."
  2458. "Monomates are real?"
  2459. >"Eh, it's just REALLY shitty cure all. Won't fix a broken bone or anything, but its good for cuts and bruises."
  2460. >Works for you.
  2461. >The group proceeds inside the caves entrance.
  2462. >The floors and walls are all made of rock, as one would expect a cave to be.
  2463. >Until you make your way to the first gate, where the real fun begins.
  2464.  
  2465. >The stone is replaced with steel and open pits of lava.
  2466. >Pretty sure these 'caves' are part of a volcano.
  2467. "There isn't like, a scenic route to get to the mines? It has to be a volcano?"
  2468. >"This IS the scenic route."
  2469. >M:"Well that's reassuring."
  2470. >"Keep your weapons ready, the creatures in here are a lot more violent then the ones we've been seeing thus far."
  2471. >You take her warning to heart and prepare your rod.
  2472. >Wait, that sounded wrong. You meant... oh whatever.
  2473. >Using magic felt almost natural really. It may be technomagic but it's still kind of magic right?
  2474. >Most of the creatures your party runs into are low threats taken out easily, things like weird fire wolves and some sort of Drake? It looked like a young dragonish thing at least. Either way it's dead now.
  2475. >After a while of fighting you get to what you guess is 'The Arena'. At least that's what you always called it growing up.
  2476. >It was this huge open platform floating above a lake of lava. If a Grass Assassin was going to show up, ironically this is the place.
  2477. >A:"Twi, you thinking what I'm thinking?"
  2478. "Yup. Let's get this over with."
  2479. >Proceeding forward, almost like clockwork two giant insects leap from the rock face bordering the lava lake.
  2480. >Cutting off both exits, the giant mantis like monsters raise their scythes as a declaration of war and charge from either side.
  2481. >"Twi, you back me up! Anon and Moondancer take on the other one!"
  2482. >You all nod and take your battle stations.
  2483. >Raising your rod, you cast a fire ball spell and scorch it's face. You'd say you pissed it off, but it was already pissed off.
  2484. >Seeing Sunset cleave into it, leaving giant wounds in the beast, you're pretty sure you picked the least OP class...
  2485. >With a slick yank from the side, She cleaves the Grass Assassin in half.
  2486. >Turning to check up on Anon and Moondancer...
  2487. >Did he just punch it?
  2488.  
  2489. >Anons sword has been knocked out of his hand, and lays a good twenty feet behind him.
  2490. >Moondancer is supporting him with heavy fire, but it only seems to be pushing the beast back a bit.
  2491. >Just as you're about to rush in and assist, Anon throws a solid punch to its abdomen.
  2492. >The Grass Assassin tumbles backwards, and straight into the lava pit.
  2493. >A:"DID YOU GUYS SEE THAT?"
  2494. "Holy shit, how did that thing not stab you to death?"
  2495. >A:"I have no clue! Glad it didn't though."
  2496. >The auto unlock on the exit goes off, allowing you safe passage into the more peaceful parts of the caves.
  2497. >In an odd twist of nature, the rest of the caves have fresh water waterfalls and patches of grass. It's actually quite refreshing after several rooms full of fire and molten rock.
  2498. >Sunny even finds a Dimate and patches herself up good as new!
  2499. >A few minutes of marching through rooms literally filled with sunshine and rainbows, you finally make it to the Mines entrance.
  2500. >"Okay guys, before we go down there, this is important."
  2501. >You turn your attention to Sunny.
  2502. >"You're going to see robots, DON'T shoot them. They're just workers. In theory we should be able to just march down there and look for the materials we need."
  2503. >That seems a tad bit anticlimactic to you, but you guess that's good news?
  2504. >Stepping into the lift, you all descend into the depths of Ragol and arrive in the mines.
  2505.  
  2506. >Everywhere you look there are robots and metal walls.
  2507. >Not sure how this passes as a 'Mine' but you suppose they must do mining somewhere around here?
  2508. >Just as she said, none of them seem to bother you. Half of them wave at you as you pass.
  2509. >Sensing no danger, you decide to split up and gather materials individually.
  2510. >You have to admit, it was kind of neat being on an alien world. Despite everything trying to kill you, taking in the sights was pretty cool.
  2511. >Some of the rooms were just gaping holes with some kind of photon-glass flooring. Science is cool.
  2512. >Eventually you make your way into a room full of yellow boxes.
  2513. "Jackpot!"
  2514. >Out of ten boxes, nine contain a blue crystalline metal.
  2515. >From what you know of RPG's, this is probably Mythril.
  2516. >What you're more confused about it the tiny robot eating the contents of the tenth box.
  2517. >"*Chirp chirp beep beep boop bop boop*?"
  2518. >You decide to leave him and his meal alone.
  2519. >Pretty sure you have enough Mythril here anyway.
  2520. >You send a beacon out to the team that you're heading back and throw down a Telepipe.
  2521. >It takes some elbow grease, but you push the boxes into the circle and send it all up with you.
  2522. >You storm over to the check in desk first thing and get all your shit back. If you have to be dressed like some kind of fetish elf any longer you're going to shoot yourself.
  2523. >With... fire you guess?
  2524. >"Nice, looks like you got a pretty nice haul! So it's just the Mythril and the wild Mag right?"
  2525. >Wat.jpg
  2526. >Looking over your shoulder, you see the little shit from a few minutes ago.
  2527. "Uh... Yeah that will be it. Now give me my shit back."
  2528. >One change of clothes later, you find the rest of your party found some fairly good shit too.
  2529. >Nothing like your haul though.
  2530. >You open a wide portal to the lab so you don't have to carry anything upstairs, then say good bye to Sunny.
  2531. >Hopefully next time is less corny.
  2532.  
  2533. >Be Anon
  2534. >The girls, Sunset included, decided to work in the lab as soon as you got home.
  2535. >You think you hear them making Metal gear jokes up there... Not sure what they're doing with all that Mythril, but they seem to be having a good time.
  2536. "Hey! Do you girls mind if I borrow a portal gun?"
  2537. >Sunny chimes in.
  2538. >S:"Sure! Take mine it's fully charged!"
  2539. >T:"No, take ours dumb ass it runs off magic!"
  2540. "Oh yeah, well thanks!"
  2541. >M:"If you go somewhere cool bring me back something!"
  2542. "Okay! Have fun girls!"
  2543. >You whip up a portal and step through to the tavern.
  2544. >Way too early to drink, but its the only coordinates in this universe you know by heart.
  2545. >Pulling out your phone, you give Trixie a call.
  2546. >["*Riiiiiing... Riiiiiing-Beep!* Hello! This is the GREAT and POWERFUL TRIXIE! Who may I kill for you?"]
  2547. "No one Trix, at least not at the moment."
  2548. >["Anon? What a pleasant surprise! Usually when Trixie gets an Anonymous call it's business..."]
  2549. "Ha ha ha, very funny. You busy today? The girls are busy in the lab."
  2550. >["Wait, really? Y-you want to spend your day off... Alone with Trixie?"]
  2551. "Every day is my day off... I'm unemployed."
  2552. >Speaking of which, you never told your old boss you were alive, or the school. Pretty sure you're legally dead.
  2553. >["Trixie just thought, maybe she was only tolerable when accompanied by alcohol..."
  2554. "No way, you're like one of the coolest girls I know!"
  2555. >She giggles just a bit.
  2556. >["Well then, how can Trixie refuse? Let me guess, meet in front of the tavern?"]
  2557. "Yup! Already waiting."
  2558. >["Well aren't you presumptuous!"]
  2559. >She giggles again, jets can be heard over the phone.
  2560. >["Trixie will be there shortly."]
  2561.  
  2562. >Before long you are greeted by a flying mass of hair with a Trixie attached.
  2563. >"Greetings Anon!"
  2564. "How does your hair not catch on fire?"
  2565. >She blushes.
  2566. >"No 'Hello Trixie, you're looking magnificent today!'?"
  2567. >You roll your eyes.
  2568. "I'll remind you I'm a taken man."
  2569. >She looks almost offended.
  2570. >"Trixie knows that! Trixie has honor Anon!"
  2571. >You laugh at her as she puffs her cheeks.
  2572. "Well if that's the case, then yeah you're looking beautiful as always. Now for real this is bothering me, how is your hair not on fire when you fly?"
  2573. >She turns up her nose to you, but clearly flustered from your compliment.
  2574. >"I-if you MUST know... Salamander oil. My shampoo and conditioner has Salamander oil in it. My cape is made of Cobalt Salamander skin."
  2575. "So the secret is magic salamanders? Wouldn't have guessed that!"
  2576. >"Don't tell anyone! Trixie is trusting her trade secret to you. .."
  2577. >You zip your mouth closed sarcastically, then reverse the gesture.
  2578. "So, what should we do? I think I have all day to kill."
  2579. >"You invited me with no plans? What a careless thing to do!"
  2580. "I don't know, I just thought you'd know more places than I would."
  2581. >"Well, I suppose that's true..."
  2582. >She fiddles with the tip of her hair.
  2583. >"T-there was ONE thing Trixie was planning on going to today... She was going to skip it if you wanted to do something else but..."
  2584. "Thats perfect! I'm in."
  2585. >Her eyes drift down.
  2586. >"Okay... But you have to go along with whatever Trixie says! She has a reputation to keep!"
  2587. "Yeah, I'll be be cool. So what's the plan?"
  2588. >She shows you an invitation.
  2589. >"You get the honor of being my plus one to the ball!"
  2590.  
  2591. >A few trips between houses later and you're all set!
  2592. >Luckily, you owned a dapper suit. For some reason lots of Anon's owned suits apparently.
  2593. >Moondancer took a small break to help Trixie with her dress. She seemed fine with all this, so you guess it's cool?
  2594. >Still weird, but you guess as long as its just to keep her reputation up you don't mind a party.
  2595. >Eventually the door opens, Trixie carefully meanders into view.
  2596. >Her slender yet fit form suited her dress perfectly. You don't know much about dresses, but whatever this one was it seemed to follow every curve she had. The only loose part was the small tail trailing off the back.
  2597. >It seemed to be patterned after Van Goughs Stary Night.
  2598. >Looks like they touched up her hair with a little bit of curling too, just enough to give her mane that extra pep.
  2599. >"H-how does Trixie look?"
  2600. "You look pretty good!"
  2601. >M:"No way, she looks hot!"
  2602. "I mean... I guess?"
  2603. >M:"Don't listen to him, I'd fuck your brains out. You're gorgeous."
  2604. "OKAY FINE! You look fabulous, just don't steal my girlfriend!"
  2605. >Trixie stays silent playing with her fingers. You're pretty sure the two of you are overloading her with praise.
  2606. >M:"*Ahem* Well have fun you two, stay out of trouble okay?"
  2607. >Moondancer wraps you in a passionate kiss, laying on extra tongue to affirm her claim on you.
  2608. >After your lips break, Trixie scoots over and wraps Moondancer in a hug. She pecks her lovingly on the cheek as she does so.
  2609. >"Thank you Moonie Pop! Trixie promises to return Anon in mint condition!"
  2610. >If Moondancer had any doubts, they clearly melt away as she returns the hug.
  2611. >M:"You dorks get out of here! I have science to do!"
  2612. >Trixie sticks out her tongue as she nabs the portal gun and taps away on the interface.
  2613. >"Okay, now remember Nonny, this is going to be like an improv game. First rule of improv?"
  2614. "'Yes, and.'?"
  2615. >"Exactly."
  2616.  
  2617. >She takes up your arm and steps you through the portal.
  2618. >Everywhere you look intelligent life is dressed up and mingling. Unlike most of the planets you visit, this one doesn't seem to have a majority of any one species. At least if this party is a representation of the planet anyway.
  2619. >In what you assume to be the waiters best "Human" accent, he waves you down and asks if you would like a 'Condoy'
  2620. >Seeing as the plate he's carrying seems to be covered in some kind of gummy star, you'll assume he meant 'Candy.' and accept.
  2621. >Trixie smiles as she grabs one too and tosses it back.
  2622. >Once the waiter passes she elbows you lightly.
  2623. >"Smarter than I gave you credit for eh? Did Moondancer tell you about Babblegums?"
  2624. "Babblewhats?"
  2625. >Trixies smile fades.
  2626. >"What's with you guys and leaping before looking? What if those were deadly to humans? You literally asked him nothing about them."
  2627. "What happened to 'Yes, and'?"
  2628. >She goes to argue, but realizes this is a bad example to fight this on.
  2629. >"Whatever. They're a semi-universal translator. We're still speaking English, but they're HEARING their native tongue."
  2630. "Awesome! Kind of like a Babblefish?"
  2631. >"Oh, so your earth has a fish like that? Neat!"
  2632. >You would correct her, but honestly what's the point?
  2633. >"Come on, lets go mingle and hit the snack tables!"
  2634. >She grasps your hand and tuggs you along with her.
  2635. >The sun hasn't set yet, so the "Ball" is currently the worlds largest garden party.
  2636. >Seems like a really chill get together really.
  2637. >The snack tables are labeled with what species should eat what, so you feel safe pigging out a bit.
  2638. >Suddenly, mid bite, Trixie intertwines her fingers with yours.
  2639. >?:"O-oh... Hello Trixie. Glad you could make it..."
  2640. >Turning your attention to the new voice, you see a shy girl drapped in green. Her pink hair cascades from her head almost as far as Trixies does. Her dress masterfully shows off how huge her breasts are on her thin yet feminine frame.
  2641.  
  2642. >Trixie responds in a way you can only discribe as 'Intentionally fake'
  2643. >"Oh of COURSE Trixie made it! She wouldn't want to disappoint her FAVORITE customer would she?"
  2644. >The girl smiles shyly, writhing her fingers around. The way she positions her arms push her massive tits up just enough to show a bit of areola.
  2645. >?:"O-oh... I guess you're right. I'm sure the feeling is mutual."
  2646. >Trixie looks entirely unphased by all this.
  2647. >"Well then, I guess you should go tell the big lug Trixie is here! Wouldn't want to keep him waiting Fluttershow. ...Oh sorry Trixie meant Fluttershy."
  2648. >You sense a tinge of frustration as Fluttershy parts her arms and lets her breasts fall back into place.
  2649. >F:"Oh yes, right again Trixie. I'll go tell him right away."
  2650. >After Fluttershy is far enough away Trixie starts to giggle.
  2651. >"Can you believe her? Did she actually think Trixie would be jealous?"
  2652. "Is that what she was doing?"
  2653. >"Isn't it obvious? Unlike SOME girls, Trixie thinks her smaller breasts fit her quite well. Feminine but never a burden."
  2654. >She stands tall, clearly showing off her pride.
  2655. >Not too long after, a Sunset with an eyepatch comes over and starts eying you over.
  2656. >S:"Trixie, who's this tall drink of water?"
  2657. >"This is Anon 888, he's my boyfriend."
  2658. >She looks dubiously at you.
  2659. >S:"Tell me the truth big guy, she's paying you isn't she?"
  2660. >You've seen enough romcoms to know where this is going.
  2661. >Time to break out the corny shit.
  2662. "Of course she is! She's paying me in kisses~"
  2663. >Trixie fake gags.
  2664. >S:"Bullshit, I know Trixie. Why don't you put your money where you're mouth is lover boy!"
  2665. >"Trixie has nothing to prove to-"
  2666. >You clasp your hands around Trixies head as you bring her face to yours. She stands on her toes in an attempt to bridge the gap in hight.
  2667. >Her velvety lips tingle on your thumbs as you arch her backwards.
  2668. >She drapes her arms around you to complete the illusion.
  2669.  
  2670. >S:"OKAY, OKAY, get a fucking room!"
  2671. >You release her face before pulling back, a coy smile is shared between you.
  2672. >"Oh don't worry, we will S-266."
  2673. >All patrons in sight start laughing as she storms off.
  2674. >Trixie gives you a bone crushing hug as she whispers in your ear.
  2675. >"Bro's for life Anon, no Hetro."
  2676. "No Hetro."
  2677. >After that point no one really bothered you. People asked questions obviously, or were genuinely friendly, but besides that you were in the clear.
  2678. >The 'pre-party' was a lot of fun, aliens doing party tricks and games. You don't know who the guy running the party is but...
  2679. >Wait a minute.
  2680. >Didn't that girl with the massive tits seem... familiar?
  2681. "Oh for fucks sake Trixie! Is this a Discord party?"
  2682. >She looks at you with a purple shrimp popping out of her mouth.
  2683. >"*Mph* Of course it is! Who did you think was throwing such a rad 'Ball', Trump Twilight?"
  2684. >*"WELCOME ONE AND ALL TO MY PARTY! We will now be opening the doors to the ball room, but first, I'd like to welcome my guests of honor personally! Trixie and, Anonymous was it?"*
  2685. >Some chatter can be heard in the background of the speaker.
  2686. >*"A-888! Bingo! Ha ha ha, we like to have fun here. Please friends come to the doors so I may greet you first!"*
  2687. >She smiles and tugs you along.
  2688. >You really didn't think Discord was the best company to keep... but at this point not doing so would be dangerous.
  2689. >She leads you right up to the gates and, much to your surprise, literally kicks them open.
  2690. >Inside is... The hobo King?
  2691. >His clothes are a patchwork of different suits, and for some reason he's wearing a shit ton of gold chains?
  2692. >D:"Yoooooooooo! What's up playa? How you dig muh sweet bling!?"
  2693. "You look like you crashed a motorcycle into the projects."
  2694. >WHY WOULD YOU EVER SAY THAT?
  2695. >D:"Oh thank GOD Trixie brought someone with balls!"
  2696. >He throws the chains over his back and gestures to you.
  2697. >D:"Get this guy something to drink guys!"
  2698.  
  2699. >His staff quiz you on your favorite flavors, levels of preferred drunkenness, and if they should let you bring home sweet alien puss when drunk.
  2700. >At the end of the twenty questions, they've brought you a rolling keg of Bermudan Gingerbeer and Rum. Apparently you're just getting as drunk as you damn well please tonight.
  2701. >D:"Fluttershy said you brought a guy with you, but I certainly didn't think it would be someone this quality!"
  2702. >He gestures to you again.
  2703. >D:"No Homo, at least none for me thanks. I've such a hand full with all these women already!"
  2704. "None taken."
  2705. >D:"Good, if you took one I'd have to kill you!"
  2706. >He laughs a bit too hard at his own joke.
  2707. >D:"Anyway, nice to see you Trixie... Very nice."
  2708. >He fucking winks at her.
  2709. >Oh god, tell me she isn't.
  2710. >For Christ sake, she just winked back.
  2711. >Fluttershy, who's meekly standing behind him, seems to have the same 'what da fuck' face you have right now.
  2712. >D:"Let the rest in! Let's get this ball started!"
  2713. >And with that it's off. The night becomes a blur of people dancing and you getting fairly drunk on self served dark and stormies.
  2714. >You know that you got in a few dances with Trixie, most of it was just her chatting up old clients about people she's iced.
  2715. >After a while, it all starts to go blank.
  2716. ------------------
  2717. >Be the GREAT and POWERFUL Trixie!
  2718. >Anon is adorable when drunk.
  2719. >He's basically the most careful drunk you've seen. He looks like he's afraid to break literally everything.
  2720. >After several envious glances from Discord, he sends Fluttershit over.
  2721. >F:"Discord requests your presence."
  2722. "Oh my~ Let me just freshen my breath. <3"
  2723. >You take out a blue spritz bottle and squirt a hefty amount into your mouth, followed by applying your lipstick.
  2724.  
  2725. >You park Anon with some of the staff, you figure they'll keep him from doing anything stupid.
  2726. >Waltzing over to Discord, hips swaying to the music, you put on your best 'Who me?' face for him.
  2727. >"Ah, I see you got my message~. How about a dance for an old man?"
  2728. "T-Trixie isn't good at dancing..."
  2729. >"Nonsense! I watched you moments ago, you're great! Take a chance Trix rabbit!"
  2730. >You give him your hand, which he takes with gusto.
  2731. >Spinning you back onto the dance floor, he parts the sea of people with his presence.
  2732. >"Gents, play me something with pep!"
  2733. >The alien band whips up some dancing music. You have no idea what genre to call it, but its certainly music.
  2734. >Discord leads, swinging you here and there to the music.
  2735. >He skilfully avoids stepping on your dress the whole time, which is more than you can say for Anon.
  2736. >"So, have you decided to take my offer? A girl like you, as beautiful as you are deadly, we would make the perfect pair!"
  2737. >You smile a bit. Open compliments are still new to you.
  2738. "But Discord, what would I tell Anon? He's such a good guy, I wouldn't want him to get hurt!"
  2739. >He laughs, passing by Fluttershy you see she's flustered all to hell.
  2740. >If she didn't want you dead before, she certainly would after tonight.
  2741. >"Well we wouldn't want that... Tell you what, tonight Anon is a little... distracted isn't he? Certainly he wouldn't notice a little... preview?"
  2742. "W-what do you mean?"
  2743. >Discord dips you, in your surprise he seizes his chance to lay a passionate kiss on you.
  2744. >His tongue darts past your lips, and he holds just long enough to hear Fluttershy screech.
  2745. >You punch him, loosening his grip on you, then march away grabbing Anon on the way out.
  2746. >"Call me!"
  2747. >You hear him cackling as the doors slam shut.
  2748. "Portal us to my place, I've gotta wash this taste out of my mouth!"
  2749.  
  2750. >Be Anon
  2751. >Trixie just dragged you and two semi-full kegs out of the party.
  2752. >She hammers off some numbers and makes you portal out of there.
  2753. >It all happened a little fast, but you don't really mind. Had a fun night.
  2754. >You see Trixie over at her sink with some kind of tube? Honestly you're too drunk to see straight.
  2755. >You take a little nap.
  2756. --------
  2757. >When you come to your greeted by Trixies smiling face.
  2758. >A face covered half way with some kind of black paste?
  2759. >"About time drunky, Trixie was getting worried!"
  2760. >Whatever she has on her face, it's in her mouth too.
  2761. "What the fuck is all that shit?"
  2762. >"Charcoal paste."
  2763. "Is it... uh... good?"
  2764. >"It does the job."
  2765. "Uh, why did you eat charcoal paste?"
  2766. >"Trixie didn't swallow any, although if you see her convulsing or something totally shove some down her throat."
  2767. >You're too dizzy to think about all this.
  2768. "Okay, I'll be sure to do that?"
  2769. >She leans over a small trash can and wipes herself off. At the end she swishes with some water and spits out a torrent of black goo.
  2770. >Smile returning, and teeth still mostly black, she points to her mouth.
  2771. >"How does Trixie look?"
  2772. "Fucking adorable."
  2773. >She grins a toothy black smile.
  2774. >"Good! Trixie will see you home Anon, Moondancer will get worried if I keep you any longer"
  2775. "Woah woah woah, give me a minute before kicking me out okay? I want to get my bearings before i'm in a different timezone again."
  2776. >"Uh... I'm not so much kicking you out as... Lets just say we should get you home."
  2777. >Now that you think about it... her house is looking barren.
  2778. >Before you can question it, the couch falls through a portal and into your living room.
  2779. >"THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIIIIIIIIXIE IS MOVING IN!"
  2780. >Twi:"Okay, but you're buying your own food and shit! We're running out of sustainable Credits."
  2781.  
  2782. >Be Twilight
  2783. >You and the girls just finished putting the final touches on the suit, and you're feeling much better about it now.
  2784. >However you don't have long to think about that before Trixie and Anon come riding in on a couch into the middle of the living room.
  2785. "So what's going on? I'm too tired to play guessing games."
  2786. >Trixie smiles at you... with black teeth. Gross.
  2787. >T:"Trixie may or may not have assassinated a very powerful inter-dimensional mob boss."
  2788. >Her phone chimes. After checking it she nods and looks back up.
  2789. >T:"Yep, just got paid. So as Trixie was saying, Discord is dead and I'm retiring!"
  2790. >M:"Oh... Yeah that makes sense actually."
  2791. >A:"HOW DOES ANY OF THIS MAKE SENSE?"
  2792. >Moondancer comes around and kisses the confused Anon on the lips before continuing her conversation with Trixie.
  2793. >M:"I'm assuming by the black teeth that you went kiss of death on his ass?"
  2794. >T:"Trixie was PLANNING on it being an indirect kiss of death if possible... If she didn't spritz that salamander slime to be safe she'd be just as dead."
  2795. >A:"Is EVERYTHING salamanders with you?"
  2796. >T:"Shut up, it's a very useful animal on Trixies home planet!"
  2797. >Sunset laughs, wiping sweat from her brow.
  2798. >S:"Went with Charcoal over inducing vomiting eh? Smart move girl! Sadly though I don't have time to chat, I have to get back to the Library. See you later everyone!"
  2799. "Bye Sunny!"
  2800. >Sunny portals out, leaving the 4 of you to sort out living arrangements.
  2801. >A:"Did we seriously just have an amazing night socializing and dancing at a party with the SOLE intention of killing the host?"
  2802. >Trixie rolls her eyes.
  2803. >T:"Duh Anon, why else would I go to a ball? I'm a- okay I WAS a bounty hunter, I'm not exactly a princess!"
  2804. >A:"That's it, I'm going to bed."
  2805. >Anon stands up and lifts Moondancer off her feet.
  2806. >M:"Guess I'll see you girls tomorrow?"
  2807.  
  2808. >The next morning you all relocate to an isolated part of the woods to test the suit out.
  2809. >After all, if it doesn't work long distance then it's useless to you.
  2810. "Okay guys, if this kills or maims me it's been wonderful meeting you all!"
  2811. >M:"Don't be dramatic, we've run the numbers a thousand times it won't materialize inside of you!"
  2812. "Don't jynx it!"
  2813. >T:"Trixie didn't know Twilight was superstitious."
  2814. "I'm not! Just, you know, I'm nervous. Let's just get this over with so I can feel like a bad ass!"
  2815. >The 3 of them give you a thumbs up.
  2816. >You grasp the pendant on your neck and try hard to fill it with friendship or whatever.
  2817. >It starts to glow, but not nearly as much as it's supposed to.
  2818. "I need something to inspire me guys, someone do something friendly!"
  2819. >They look at each other then hesitantly back to you.
  2820. >M:"How was your morning Twilight?"
  2821. "Good."
  2822. >Obviously nothing spikes.
  2823. >T:"Trixie offers to make you waffles when we get back!"
  2824. >The pendant perks up a bit, you do love waffles.
  2825. "More! I need something stupid, Anon just say anything!"
  2826. >He looks disgusted that you chose him of all people.
  2827. >A:"I don't know, uh.... What's your suit made out of?"
  2828. >You're about to face palm, until it hits you.
  2829. >Oh god you've always wanted to unironically meme!
  2830. >THIS IS PERFECT!
  2831. >Your smile widens as the pendant glows like the sun in August, your eyes gleaming with it.
  2832. >The air around you starts to fill with particles, weaving bits of Mythril and microchips come together and encapsulate you.
  2833. >Your clothes teleport away, your wings teleport in, and the writhing mass of metal clings to you like spandex.
  2834. >Their eyes don't leave you for a second as the suit settles. You bat a gust of wind in their face as you strike a majestic pose in the air.
  2835. "NANOMACHINES SON!"
  2836.  
  2837. >You examine yourself while they gawk.
  2838. >The nanomachines are small and flexible enough to follow every tiny curve of your body, and you do mean every part.
  2839. >Note to self, get some pasties and program in panties.
  2840. >Just as you hypothesized, the elements magic makes flying effortless. You might as well be made of air.
  2841. >That's two tests down, two to go!
  2842. "Moondancer-"
  2843. >Woah, your voice sounds doubled somehow... you didn't notice that a second ago...
  2844. "Ehem, Moondancer. Shoot me in the shoulder."
  2845. >A:"Are you crazy?"
  2846. >M:"What good is armor if it doesn't work?"
  2847. >She takes aim and fires without hesitation.
  2848. >The plasma bolt stings like a mother fucker, but in the same way getting a solid punch would.
  2849. >In a matter of seconds the light damage fades away as they self repair themselves.
  2850. "I'd call that a success!"
  2851. >M:"SCIENCE! Fuck yeah!"
  2852. >She goes to high five you, but you dodge her.
  2853. "Hold up Moons, got one last feature to test. Wouldn't want to blow off your hand..."
  2854. >Her eyes widen as she clears a path.
  2855. >M:"Holy shit... Watch this guys, its my favorite part!"
  2856. >You thrust your palm forward and focus on your hand.
  2857. >Your MAG warps in front of your hand, then happily disassembles itself forming into the catalyst.
  2858. >Your eyes go super nova with pure power.
  2859. >Rainbow energy dances off of your fingers as it spirals into the floating mass of parts.
  2860. >You try to stay cool and bad ass, but your inner nerd wants to break free!
  2861. >As the energy reaches 100% purity, you give in to temptation.
  2862. >You grab your wrist in an attempt to steady yourself, then let go.
  2863. "PSI FRIENDSHIP!"
  2864.  
  2865. >A conical beam fires out of the MAG as it absorbs the shock.
  2866. >Good news and bad news come to mind as you see the torrent of energy burst forth.
  2867. >Good news: Weapon works and had no recoil.
  2868. >Bad news: You literally can't see where the cone stops. It seems you might have over charged.
  2869. >In a split second decision, you decide to try something risky on instinct.
  2870. "G.A.R.B.S.S. Teleport all registered life to U-888 Canterlot, Celestial Street. Teleport self to U-888 portal of origin! Use all power if needed!"
  2871. >A:"Twi, what's going-"
  2872. >Unlike most teleportations, this one takes a few seconds.
  2873. >Note to self, concept of time and self still possible when not actually in existence.
  2874. >A:"-on? Is everything... alright? Are we around the corner from Sugar Cube?"
  2875. >You fall to the ground as the suit vanishes around you...
  2876. >...And your clothes teleport back! G.A.R.B.S.S. is still online!
  2877. "We need to get back to my old house! Spike is-"
  2878. >"BARK!"
  2879. >The little bastard is right there behind you... along with a completely naked Sunset Shimmer.
  2880. >"S:"I don't care how or why I'm here, but portal me home NOW!"
  2881. >Moondancer takes care of her .
  2882. >T:"Trixie has no fucking idea what ANY of that was, or what's going on, or... Is this what you guys do when you're not drinking? Is this normal?"
  2883. >M:"No, this is pretty... Unusual."
  2884. "Let's get back to the house anyway and make sure everything is okay. We can talk after that."
  2885. >One brisk walk later, the 4 of you plus Spike arrive at your old address.
  2886. >It looks like most of the house made it in the jump.
  2887. >Most being the key word.
  2888.  
  2889. >The outer walls of the building seem to have been left behind, but everything inside including the inner walls and oddly the door.
  2890. >You guess G.A.R.B.S.S. only identified what was inside it's electrical grid as 'itself'.
  2891. "Eh, it's just aesthetics anyway! We'll patch her up before it rains!"
  2892. >After a thorough look through of the house, it looks like everything inside is in place.
  2893. >It's been about an hour since you arrived back in U-888... If your instinct was right then you should check the damage.
  2894. "Trixie, can I borrow your jet-pack?"
  2895. -------
  2896. >It's just like you feared.
  2897. >From the sky it looks like someone dragged a razor over the planet. The cone did stop expanding, eventually, but the energy is just traveling around the planet in a circle.
  2898. >That suit isn't just neat, semi lewd armor... it's a fucking weapon of mass destruction!
  2899. ------
  2900. >Returning 'home', you hand Trixie her jet pack and sit down.
  2901. >M:"So, willing to share what this freak out was all about?"
  2902. "Wanna be gods?"
  2903. >They look at you unsure how to respond.
  2904. >You grasp at your necklace, it glows again as if nothing happened.
  2905. >Within moments the suit is back on you.
  2906. "We can be fucking gods! We can move buildings on command, we can destroy planets if we need to!"
  2907. >M:"Twilight-"
  2908. "No, hear me out, we can be like the Avengers or something! Fighting evil, taking down Muppet..."
  2909. >M:"Save the persuasion techniques, i'm in."
  2910. >The 3 of you share a collective "What?!"
  2911. >M:"I promised I'd follow you till the end. If you want to do that, if you think that's what's best, I'm in."
  2912. >She hugs you.
  2913. >Anon doesn't look convinced, but he joins in on the hug.
  2914. >A:"Let's be honest, I have no fucking choice do I? At least I can be the voice of reason..."
  2915. >Trixie excitedly jumps into the hug circle.
  2916. >T"YOU HAD TRIXIE AT SUPER HEROS!"
  2917. >You let down the nanomachines around your head so you can feel their warmth.
  2918. >These are your friends Twilight.
  2919. >And you will make the Multiverse safe for them, no matter what the cost.
  2920. END!
  2921.  
  2922. DAWN OF A NEW DAY! (Takes place after the thread exclusive one shots.)
  2923.  
  2924. "Barkeep, another round!"
  2925. >You wave him over to your tiny party, his eyes rolling.
  2926. >"You could just whistle or something, it's not like I wouldn't hear you."
  2927. >He gestures across the barren tavern.
  2928. >T:"Oh shut up and get us something fruity this time! Trixie's feeling exceptionally happy tonight!"
  2929. >The bartender glances at Moons and Anon, both of which just tap on their empty glasses.
  2930. >"You jackasses are lucky you tip so well!"
  2931. >M:"Yeah yeah, you know you love us."
  2932. >As he stops away to prepare your poison, the four of you continue to chatter.
  2933. >A:"So, what should we do tomorrow? I'd recommend something but..."
  2934. "But you have no idea what the options are?"
  2935. >A:"Basically. With infinite options it gets sort of intimidating."
  2936. >T:"Trixie says we consult the SAUCY and FRIENDLY Sunset! She knows how to have a good time!"
  2937. >M:"I'm not against that, after the shit ideas SOMEONE at this bar has had it can only work in our favor!"
  2938. "Hey! I'll have you know that wrestling John Cena was a dream of mine since I got out of high school!"
  2939. >M:"You never even graduated!"
  2940. "I'm a fucking TWILIGHT! I was BORN with a graduation gown!"
  2941. >Moondancer narrows her eyes at you.
  2942. >M:"In any case, aside from Trixie she's the least sheltered when it comes to the multiverse. If Trixie is out of ideas, Sunset is our best bet!"
  2943. >As the bartender places your drinks, you whip out your phone and drunkenly text her.
  2944. ["Hey you Shimmigrant slut, what should we do tomorrow? <3"]
  2945.  
  2946. >You get a response, but before you can read it the door to the bar opens. Trixies old bounty gear starts to chirp wildly.
  2947. >?:"Hey girls! Can I buy you a drink-"
  2948. >Trixie shoots without looking up from her drink, instantly killing the new customer.
  2949. >A:"Trixie what the fuck!?"
  2950. >T:"Shit! Sorry... Old habits die hard!"
  2951. "Were they at least worth something?"
  2952. >Trixie taps her display a few times and shakes her head.
  2953. >T:"Eh, its comparable to a bottle deposit. Not worth dragging them to the bounty office."
  2954. >Moony lets out a low growl, shooting a portal beneath the corpse and closing it the second it's through.
  2955. >M:"Go clean up the blood, we'll call you over if we come up with something."
  2956. >Trix pouts, removing her cape and tossing it over Moondancers head in protest before marching over to the gore puddle.
  2957. >You return your attention to the phone, examining the message.
  2958. >S:["I told you to call me that ONLY on Orgy Planet, stupid fascist pig! ;^)"] ["Anyway, I heard Downtown Twilight Land is throwing some wild festival or something. Open bar and everything!"]
  2959. ["Damn it, we're already getting drunk down the road from you! ...Sorry for not inviting you actually, come on down to the tavern and we can just talk in person!"]
  2960. >S:["Yeah, thanks for the invite ;/. I'll be right over!"]
  2961. "Hey Trixie, Sunsets walking over so make sure she doesn't slip okay!"
  2962. >Trixie salutes, meanwhile you convey the news to the love birds to your right.
  2963. >A:"Twilight land? That sounds fun and all but... I don't know, you can only party it up in the same place so many times before it becomes bland."
  2964. >Moondancer nods, placing her palms on her cheeks.
  2965. >M:"I kind of miss the action we USED to get into honestly. Before you basically became tech Jesus."
  2966. >You grasp the Element of Magic pendant, sighing in agreement.
  2967. "Yeah, not that living an adventures life isn't great; but I could really go for a bit more challenge!"
  2968. >M:"...Well, we never took down MUPPET."
  2969.  
  2970. "You know what, you're right! They just kind of gave up on fighting us, but other Twilights are still being hunted!"
  2971. >A:"That's true, I guess it is kind of dickish of us to just frolic across the multiverse when our alternate selves are in danger."
  2972. >M:"Yeah, but only Twi has the fire power to stand up to them. If we just sent her to fight the entire M.U.P.P.E.T. base planet it would be suicide."
  2973. "What if I just rainbowed the entire planet like I did Frog land?"
  2974. >M:"Well you COULD do that, if you don't mind murdering all the innocent captives and anyone else who might be innocent on the entire planet."
  2975. "...Okay I see your point. We could work on making more suits?"
  2976. >A:"Wouldn't you need more elements, and Alicorn wings, and Mithril-"
  2977. "Okay fine so THAT'S out as well! What CAN we do then?"
  2978. >T:"We could pilot a giant robot and fight them like in Trixies Japanese Animes!"
  2979. >The three of you all turn to Trixie, who's bouncing excited next to the now clean hardwood.
  2980. >A:"Pffft. Trix I'm fairy sure building a giant mech would take just as long if not LONGER than finding the remaining elements!"
  2981. >S:"We don't have to build an entire mech, just the RIGHT one..."
  2982. >Sunset enters dramatically, marching forward confidently until Trixie slams an open palm into her breast to prevent her from walking in the fresh puddle.
  2983. >She blushes lightly, stepping around and continuing her explanation.
  2984. >S:"I've actually studied a lot of, um, exotic media? I think I know just the right short cut to make this feasible!"
  2985. "A-are you saying... We can actually MAKE a MECH?"
  2986. >Sunset offers a hand as she gazes into your velvet eyes.
  2987. >S:"I'm saying we can PILOT a fucking mech!"
  2988. >Moondancer chugs her drink, slamming the glass just light enough not to shatter it.
  2989. >M:"I'M IN!"
  2990. "Sign me the fuck up too! Anon, Trixie, pay the tab! We have to go to the laboratory!"
  2991. >Anon raises a hand to object, but acknowledging the badassery of what's to come decides not to.
  2992. >A:"God speed ladies, god speed!"
  2993.  
  2994. >Back at the lab Sunset explains the basics of what you have to build. It's basically a big ripoff of the Lagann from Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann only more Twilighty.
  2995. >S:"It may seem weebish as hell, but according to my research it should actually work! The spiral energy in the show works just like rainbow energy does in real life! We can pretend we came up with it on our own..."
  2996. >You place a hand on her shoulder, with Moony on the other.
  2997. "Sunset, no judgement, we're all fucking trash here."
  2998. >Moondancer nods in agreement.
  2999. >S:"T-thanks guys! In that case... there is ONE design I had in mind!"
  3000. >The three of you work tirelessly into the night, it takes a little longer than anticipated even with three genius brains at work, but after a few days you manage to finish and get your much required rest.
  3001. >The morning after, you unveil the new machine to an eager Trixie and Anon.
  3002. "Prepare yourselves, this is pretty much as nerdy as anything could ever get!"
  3003. >You pull back the sheet, revealing a five foot tall Alicorn Twilight head made of a mixture of different metals, including every little scrap of unused Mithril the five of you had combined.
  3004. >The design of the machine resembles what you'd get if you fused a unicorn and a digimon honestly, having sharp angles and armor like ridges. Beneath are four small cylindrical legs for maneuverability on land.
  3005. >A:"Uhhh... This isn't what I had in mind when you said 'Mech'."
  3006. >Trixie practically drools on it as she examines every detail.
  3007. >T:"Please tell Trixie this is what she thinks it is!"
  3008. >M:"Everything you can dream and more Trix! Hope you're all ready..."
  3009. "Because we're declaring WAR!"
  3010.  
  3011. >["ATTENTION: This is a message to all Twilights of combat class Alpha! You are requested to report to the S.S. Dykeshit immediately for a planetary scale battle! Feel free to bring friends and/or love ones with you."]
  3012. >The message plays on loop multiple times over while you wait on the ships roof.
  3013. >M:"I really doubt this part is going to work."
  3014. "Trust me, it will! We just have to time it right!"
  3015. >T:"Trixie isn't convinced either... won't they just leave once they figure it out?"
  3016. "Like I said, trust me!"
  3017. >From above the bridge you can see thousands of Twilights and assorted friends appearing in various space bending ways. You wait patiently listening to the broadcast.
  3018. >["-report to the S.S. Dykeshit immediately for- *Kssssssh* Who's on the high councils private channel?!"
  3019. "NOW!"
  3020. >You shove your medallion into the control console, activating the rainbow manipulator. The mini-mech shoves it's pony legs into the hull of the ship up to the base of the head, channeling pure rainbow energy into the massive space ark.
  3021. >Breaking all known laws of physics and the laws of conservation, the entire ship warps into a weird cross breed mech straight from fanfic hell! The only way to properly describe the autistic bastardization of science is visually! (Wont let me post it in here, I'll respond in a quote.)
  3022. >G.A.R.B.S.S. teleports the rest of your party each into their own control bay, giving each of them their own function.
  3023. >Setting up video transmission, you broadcast to everyone on the 'ship'
  3024. "Hello, this is T-888! You are all officially the crew and batteries of a giant ass mech powered by friendship! Please don't portal home and enjoy the ride!"
  3025. >You switch the channel back to G.A.R.B.S.S.
  3026. "Teleport party supplies to central cavity, and teleport first mate Spike into the main control bay! I want him to see this!"
  3027.  
  3028. >A:"Why do Moondancer and I get the legs?! Everyone knows legs is the shit job!"
  3029. "Because you dorks are the most in synch! Would you rather we trip in the middle of battle?"
  3030. >Anon rolls his eyes.
  3031. >T:"Trixie thinks you can do PLENTY with legs! I once killed five men with only my thighs!"
  3032. >M:"Easy for YOU to say, you get the fucking canon arm!"
  3033. "Hey, legs, time for lift off!"
  3034. >They sigh, igniting the boosters and rocketing into space.
  3035. >M:"You're sure we shouldn't just use the warp or something? Won't they see us coming from a lightyear away?"
  3036. >You shake your head condescendingly, turning up the rainbow energy in the legs.
  3037. "We WANT them to see us! This is a war not a genocide, we're only killing the people they send to battle us!"
  3038. >S:"Bet you wouldn't be so kind if it was I.S.I.S...."
  3039. "Oh shut it Sunset, we're all keen to your bait!"
  3040. >She sticks her tongue out at you as the mech reaches terminal friendship velocity, which you guess is basically faster than light because magic is total bullshit?
  3041. >The holo-display shows only twenty less lifeforms than when you took over the ship, which is right around what you predicted! No Twi worth having would miss out on an anime style mech fight!
  3042. >Once you've reached the Moony System, you lower the ships speed to less bullshit levels and keep an eye out for their attack force.
  3043. "Moons, do you know anything about their battle ships?"
  3044. >She cocks her head.
  3045. >M:"The Sperg Destroyers? Yeah I guess... but not anything you won't be able to gather from looking at them..."
  3046. >Huh... I wonder what that means- Oh shit.
  3047. >A dark cloud of hand shaped ships in the thousands close in around you from the surrounding planets.
  3048. "Those ones?"
  3049. >M:"No, the OTHER swarm of ships dipshit."
  3050. "Well... Lets hope these weapons work then!"
  3051.  
  3052. >The fingers on the ships move and dance into position, all glowing in a dull blue light.
  3053. "Let me guess, each finger is a plama canon?"
  3054. >M:"See? I told you it was self explanatory."
  3055. "Moons, Anon, focus on evasion! Trixie, suppressing fire!"
  3056. >M&A&T:"Yes captain!"
  3057. >You divert power from Sunsets arm to devide it equally among the other three and switch the communication channel to the captains quarters.
  3058. >?:"So YOU'RE the bitch who hijacked my ship! Stop this madness at once T-888!"
  3059. "Not happening. Now tell me, how many plasma bolts can the sheilds take before they collapse? This is REALLY important!"
  3060. >?:"Quite a few, but they're not impenetrable! If you think we can take out a solar systems entire armada with just this hunk of bolts you're fucking mad!"
  3061. "Then why are you still on board? Surely you have access to a portal or warp!"
  3062. >Her cheeks flush, shifting her face out of view.
  3063. >?:"It's MY ship! I'm obviously only here because it's my duty!"
  3064. "Whatever you say, just keep the shield generator online no matter what! We'll take care of the weaponry!"
  3065. >Before she can contest, you switch back to the main channel.
  3066. >On the display you can see Trixie has managed to make a small dent in the number of ships, but there's no way you're going to be able to keep up all this dodging.
  3067. >S:"Twi there's too many of them! Should we retreat?"
  3068. "Never retreat, NEVER SURRENDER!"
  3069. >A:"Well THIS isn't working! What do you expect us to do?!"
  3070. "Charge."
  3071. >M:"What is this, a mass suicide mission? No way!"
  3072. >A blast to the tip of the right leg shakes the mech.
  3073. "Did I fucking stutter? CHARGE!"
  3074. >Biting their lip, Moondancer signals Anon and ignite the thrusters.
  3075. >The robot nimbly jets forward, closing the gap between you and one of the closest Sperg Destroyers in a matter of seconds. Trixie blows a hole through it before it can fire, but the rest of its cluster swarms around you.
  3076.  
  3077. "G.A.R.B.S.S., return full power to Sunset Shimmer! Lets take it to them!"
  3078. >The right arm jumps to life as the destroyers close in on you. The orange unicorn head at the end opens its jaws, spitting out a long runed blade.
  3079. >S:"EAT MITHRIL YOU NEET FREAKS!"
  3080. >Sunset cleaves through the ships like butter, reducing them to rubble. They explode in tiny flames before the vacuum of space snuffs them out.
  3081. >T:"This thing has a fucking SWORD? Trixie wants to trade!"
  3082. "Too bad, you get the laser cannon!"
  3083. >Trixie pouts, firing another volley of blasts into the further ships.
  3084. >T:"Trixie ALWAYS has to use lasers! You're just typecasting Trixie, she can swordfight too!"
  3085. >Sunset locks eyes with Trixie over the holo display, still ripping ships yo shreads.
  3086. >S:"We are not! You're the best shot out of all of us, it only makes sense to put you on the gun!"
  3087. >Trixie rolls her eyes, shooting the fingers off a fleeing ship.
  3088. >T:"Trixie accepts this fact, but she's still not happy about it!"
  3089. >You spy the lovebirds bored in the corner of the screen.
  3090. "Come on guys, get in on this! Teamwork!"
  3091. >A:"We're keeping the mech stablized, what more can we do?"
  3092. "Litterally anything else!?"
  3093. >It takes a bit to click, but a smile slowly creeps over their faces.
  3094. >M:"Get a barf bag ready everyone, this is going to be bumpy!"
  3095. >They cut the thrusters, letting the blasts from Trixies cannon rocket them through zero gravity uninhibited.
  3096. >Anons leg crashes into the palm of a ship, sending it careening into another as Moondancer followed up with another blow to nearby ship.
  3097. >It takes hours of all out attack, but you manage to ween out their ships to the point of full out retreat.
  3098. >Sadly, the lack of purposeful dodging caused the shields massive damage. Not enough to break them, but another few shots would breach them easily.
  3099. >Good thing this battle is as good as won, right?
  3100.  
  3101. >You advance towards the MUPPET homeworld, fire in your eyes expecting an unconditional surrender.
  3102. >S:"Twilight, it looks like we're getting a message direct from Muppet Mega herself!"
  3103. >Right on cue!
  3104. "Connect me!"
  3105. >Static appears on screen, after a few seconds of tuning a black pointy mask comes into focus.
  3106. >MM:"*BZZZZRT* Why hello T-888, I was wondering when you'd show up here! Couldn't get your fill of Moondancer blood, so you came to the source am I right?"
  3107. "Blah blah blah! You're running a black market around my organs, you don't get the right to pull the morals card!"
  3108. >MM:"*Bzzzrt* Hahahaha! You have me there you lavender cyst! No matter though, its time I rectified M-888's mistake!"
  3109. "PFFFFFFFT! You and what army?!"
  3110. >A panel slides away on her mask, exposing a single Amythist colored eye.
  3111. >MM:"That's the difference between your kind and mine Twilight!"
  3112. >The moon of Muppet homeworld begins to crack and unfurl, revealing a mech similar to yours only much bigger, blacker, and with two Moondancer heads for hands. The main head looks... different. Almost like a parody of the Alicorn Twi head but with slightly different colors.
  3113. >MM:"I don't NEED friends to Take. You. DOWN!"
  3114. "SHIT! WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME SHE HAD A MECH TOO!?"
  3115. >M:"I was only a Rookie class, you think they told me the fucking moon was a robot!?"
  3116. >S:"YES ACTUALLY, THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I'D OPEN WITH IF I WAS RECRUITING SOMEONE!"
  3117. >The arguing is cut short with a punch to the everything courtesy of the Anti-friendbot, shattering the shields like cheap stained glass.
  3118. >The life readings on the ship plummet as cautious Twilights gtfo.
  3119. "Shit shit SHIT! G.A.R.B.S.S. we need more friendship stat or we're going to be slaughtered! For every person we lose teleport in a Pinkie Pie or something! Take requests from passengers, fucking ANYTHING!"
  3120. >[*"Error: Can not teleport anything unfiled in database."*]
  3121. "God FUCKING damn it G.A.R.B.S.S. !!!"
  3122.  
  3123. >Diverting all power to the legs, you begin evasive maneuvers!
  3124. >You slam on the main crew bay channel, displaying your face to all the passengers.
  3125. "STOP PORTALING HOME GOD DAMN IT! You're going to get us all killed!"
  3126. >They give you a shared look of skepticism, including the high Twi commander.
  3127. >HT:"Do you KNOW who you're talking to T-888?! We're the best ficking warriors in the MULTIVERSE! How about some fucking faith!"
  3128. >The enemy grazes you, sending the mech spinning head over ass.
  3129. >HT:"For god sakes just focus on keeping us alive okay!"
  3130. >Gritting your teeth, you flick back to the action. The enemy mech is in hot pursuit, swiping at you like a mosquito.
  3131. "S-shit! Uhhhh... I'm switching the power to Trixie! Concentrated fire!"
  3132. >Just like before, you use the power of Newton's law to propel you through space, giving you the added bonus of offense without having to get close.
  3133. >Unfortunately you're friendship cannon seems to be the equivalent of shooting needles at someone, it's doing SOMETHING but nothing close to lethal damage.
  3134. >T:"Trixie doesn't think this is going to work!"
  3135. >S:"NO SHIT! We need to get the fuck out of here!"
  3136. >M:"How dipshit?! They're just as fast as we are!"
  3137. "SHUT UP! Everyone be friends this instant god damn it!"
  3138. >[*"WARNING: UNIDENTIFIED MAGIC STORM BREACH IN CREW BAY!"*]
  3139. >A:"Shit, they're abandoning us to die aren't they!"
  3140. >You relax yourself into your seat, shaking.
  3141. "Can you blame them? We're fucked either way, why NOT save themselves?"
  3142. >Muppet Mega comes on screen again, cackling hysterically.
  3143. >MM:"*BZZZZRT* PREPARE TO BE CRUSHED WORM!"
  3144. >She zooms forward, clapping the mechs hands around you.
  3145. >...Bouncing off something at the last minute.
  3146. >?:"NOT TODAY YOU GREASY FREAK!"
  3147. >M:"W-what!? I recognize that voice!"
  3148. >You flick on the crew bay camera, smiling like a maniac.
  3149. >L:"My name is Lyra Heartstrings, you hurt my Moonpie, PREPARE TO DIE!"
  3150.  
  3151. >On screen stands a proud teal unicorn levitating a mage staff. Outside you can see giant alicorn wings have sprouted from your mech.
  3152. "Lyra you sly devil! Glad to see you again!"
  3153. >L:"The feeling is mutual Sparkle! Lets destroy this unattractive slug!"
  3154. >M:"You know she PROBABLY looks identical to me right?"
  3155. >She scoffs.
  3156. >L:"Honey, I've never met a Moondancer as gorgeous as you in all my life. I HARDLY think that will change today!"
  3157. >Muppet Mega delivers another blow, again deflected by the wings but it still sends you flying through space.
  3158. >MM:"*BZZZZRT* Congratulations, you gained a pony! Surely THAT will save your sorry asses!"
  3159. >L:"Pffffffffft!"
  3160. >MM:"*Bzzzrt* What's so funny equine filth!?"
  3161. >Lyra grins, swirling her staff around as the crowd of Twilights run for the edges of the room.
  3162. > Slamming it down like an anvil, a complex circle of runes lights up.
  3163. >L:"FRIENDSHIP IS MAGIC BITCH!"
  3164. >In a familiar flash, a massive portal tares into existence. From it thousands upon thousands of pastel horses flood the floor.
  3165. >[*RAINBOW ENERGY HAS REACHED HYPER-NOVA!*]
  3166. >MM:"*Bzzzzrt* WHAT? THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!"
  3167. >The cockpit expands to fit the new power scale, which is so big you can barely reach the element in the center.
  3168. >You crank it to eleven, causing you to nearly blow your chunks from the change in scale.
  3169. >["*Universe Buster mode activated!*"]
  3170. >The mech has become impossible in scale, lightyears aren't even a relevant unit of distance anymore. Muppet Mega isn't even detectable anymore nor is any single astronomical body.
  3171. "...Too far?"
  3172. >T:"Even TRIXIE thinks this is too GREAT and POWERFUL! Tone it down you lunatic!"
  3173. >You turn it down a few notches to 'Planet Crusher' and call it good.
  3174. >MM:"*BZZZZZZZZZZRRRRRRRTTTTT* WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT SHIT?"
  3175. "Never mind that, it's time for the REAL battle!"
  3176.  
  3177. >Muppet Mega matches your new size, but you can tell it's pushing itself beyond its intended limit.
  3178. >Yours however...
  3179. "G.A.R.B.S.S., ALL SECTIONS FULL POWER!"
  3180. >The joints of Friendship Prime burst with overflowing rainbow energy, causing the Trixie and Sunset arms take on a more Alicorn looking design. The main head transforms to represent your head this time instead of pony you.
  3181. >The feet however just look slightly more rainbowish.
  3182. >A:"I still say we got shafted here..."
  3183. >With a beat of your wings you soar into combat, exchanging blows in an impressive display of swordsmanship. Despite your surplus of power, it appears she has Sunset licked on technique.
  3184. >Seeing an opening, Anon cracks her right in the gut with his foot.
  3185. >Muppet Mega barely manages to regain her ballance without getting cleaved in twain, U-turning back into the fray.
  3186. >As she dives for you, Sunset parries her blade and cleaves the Megas leg off in a flourish.
  3187. >MM:"*BZZRT* Oh FUCK YOU! Do you know how much a mech leg costs?!"
  3188. >She uses her gun arm as an impromptu thruster, turning herself around abruptly before you can turn to face her.
  3189. >With a smooth motion she stabs Friendship Prime through the back and out the chest.
  3190. >Sunset busts her face with the mechs elbow, removing the blade before it can do any more damage.
  3191. >You slam on the emergency airlock, but not before a fair amount of the crew is sucked into the void of space.
  3192. "YOU BITCH! Those were innocent Twilights and Anons!"
  3193. >MM:"*BZRRT* Innocent Twilights? THERE ARE NO INNOCENT TWILIGHTS!"
  3194. >She swings for the Anon leg, getting deflected last minute by Sunset.
  3195. >S:"SUNBURST SERENADE!"
  3196. >Sunsets blade dances at an incredible speed, pushing Muppet Mega back until she finally lands a diagonal slash down her waist.
  3197. >If you could see Megas face, you're certain it would be priceless right about now.
  3198.  
  3199. >>27263087
  3200. >Quickly MUPPET Mega slams her other arm into your gut and fires point blank, blowing out a sizable hole in your stomach.
  3201. >Luckily, the stomach of the robot is the only part with no real function.
  3202. >Sunset easily cleaves into the arm, blowing it up in a magic induced fireworks show.
  3203. >The blast throws Muppet Mega back, but not before she disembodies the Trixie arm from Friendship Prime!
  3204. "TRIXIE!"
  3205. >["WARNING, LEFT ARM RAINBOW ENERGY STABILIZERS DISCONNECTED. OXYGEN DISCONNECTED."]
  3206. >Trixies channel starts to fade slowly.
  3207. >T:"S-shit! Trixie can't die like this!"
  3208. >A:"Don't worry! we'll save-"
  3209. >T"THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE WANT'S A COOL ATTACK TOO!"
  3210. >Trixie double fists the energy output levers, pushing them to the breaking point. The blue alicorn head starts to rumble as rainbow energy starts to overload in the mouth.
  3211. >T"Welcome one and all to Trixies first and last magic show! Tonight the GREAT and POWERFUL TRIIIIIIIIIIIXIIIIIIIIE will be making a planet sized BITCH disappear!"
  3212. >The arm stabilizes in the right direction, vortex of pure energy crackling as it reaches its maximum compression point.
  3213. >Spike frantically scrambles up to the holo screen, clearly grasping whats going on as he wines at Trixe.
  3214. >She waves playfully at Spike, single tear in her eye, before striking a nerdy playground pose.
  3215. >T:"LUNAR STARSTOOOOOOOOOOORM!"
  3216. >The feed cuts out as Spike barks and howls.
  3217. >With a blast bright enough to put stars to shame, the jaws of the arm are incinerated as a cone of unstoppable energy expands outwards. The very atoms MUPPET Mega's mech is made of split as it's ravaged into nothing.
  3218. >You all stare in awe at the muted rainbow of destruction Trixie left behind as the arm finally succumbs to it's own energy.
  3219. "..."
  3220. >A:'..."
  3221. >M:"..."
  3222. >S:"..."
  3223. >MM:"*BZZZZRT* What a fucking waste, am I right?"
  3224. >You go cold as you gaze up at the new audio channel, broadcasting straight from M.U.P.P.E.T. Homeworld.
  3225.  
  3226. "HOW THE HELL ARE YOU ALIVE?!"
  3227. >She cracks up, dragging her hand across her mask.
  3228. >MM:"*BZZZZRT* Why would I be IN the mech when I could just control it REMOTELY? Unlike you retards I know how to strategize!"
  3229. >You look at the remains of the Trixie arm, which is practically nothing at this point. Gritting your teeth to the point of litterally shattering.
  3230. >You slam on the eject button, reaching for your emergency syringe of cure all.
  3231. >As you jam it into your thigh, Scilight Lagann rockets towards Muppet homeworld reverting the ship back to normal.
  3232. >A:"TWILIGHT! What are you doing!?"
  3233. >You spit your old teeth onto the floor.
  3234. "G.a.R.B.S.S., send Spike to Moondancer! Allocate any residual rainbow energy into the engines!"
  3235. >Spike warps out as you lock down the signals origin.
  3236. >M:"Twilight wait!-"
  3237. >Cutting the communication channel, you approach the planets firing range. Plasma bolts and lasers scorch the sides of the mini mech as you loosely attempt to dodge them.
  3238. >Nearing MUPPET Megas palace, a concentrated beam blasts through the mechs eye.
  3239. >As the mech loses functionality, you tear you're medalion out and leap out of the hole.
  3240. >Practically rattling with friendship energy, you drape it around your neck in free fall.
  3241. >You wince at the temperature change as your clothes warp away, replacing with skin tight nanobots. Flapping your powerful Alicorn wings, you jet yourself through the palace window and straight in front of MUPPET Mega.
  3242. >MM:"*BZZRT* Welcome to my parlor said-"
  3243. >You sock her in the stomach with an uppercut, sending her slamming into the ceiling.
  3244. "Yeah, let's skip the dialogue."
  3245. >She falls to the floor, spider web cracks all across her armor.
  3246. >Stepping over her, which probably is the worst position seeing as your suit is basically spandex but thinner, you squat down to her level.
  3247. "Tell me Mega, why do you wear the mask?"
  3248. >She coughs up blood in her suit.
  3249. "...if I pull it off, will you die?"
  3250.  
  3251. >MM:"*Bzzzzrt* Of course not! Why would I program the suicide function into my own suit!?"
  3252. "Good, that will make this more fun!"
  3253. >You tear her mask off, revealing...
  3254. "Who the fuck are YOU?"
  3255. >A purple haired girl with blue streaks glares back at you.
  3256. >MM:"I'm STARLIGHT GLIMMER you dolt! YOUR Starlight Glimmer!"
  3257. "I don't HAVE a Starlight Glimmer! Why aren't you a Moondancer!?"
  3258. >She rolls her eyes.
  3259. >MM:"Oh you'd just LOVE that wouldn't you! We'll too bad, I'M the leader of M.U.P.P.E.T.!"
  3260. "Pfffft!"
  3261. >MM:"DON'T LAUGH AT ME!"
  3262. >You pretend to whipe away a tear, since the nanobots render that unnecessary.
  3263. "It's not YOU I'm laughing at, it's MYSELF! I was so worried and worked up..."
  3264. >MM:"Fuck you Twilight, this changes NOTHING!"
  3265. >You look her dead in the eyes, smiling coldly as the nanobots condense into a hammer head on your right arm.
  3266. "This changes EVERYTHING!"
  3267. >With a nostalgic crack, you shatter her left arm.
  3268. >Starlight screams in agonizing pain as you make thorough work of her arm, reducing it to an armored noodle.
  3269. >MM:"AAAAHHHHGG YOU FUCKED UP BITCH!"
  3270. "Tell the planet to evacuate."
  3271. >MM:"W-what?"
  3272. >You hammer down on her legs.
  3273. >MM:"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! F-FINE! Get me that microphone!"
  3274. >Glancing over, you see a traditional mic from an old radio show.
  3275. "If you try to pull ANYTHING-"
  3276. >MM:"NO! No funny business! P-please!"
  3277. >You glare at her before turning to get the mic. On the desk you also find a laptop with the current readings of all Muppet operatives on the planet.
  3278. >Taking both, you plop the mic next to Starlight and keep an eye on the laptop.
  3279. >MM:"Attention all listening, evacuate the system IMMEDIATELY! Share portal guns if needed!"
  3280. >You go to speak up, but she raises her one good arm in protest.
  3281. >MM:"Prioritize the Spike Refuge shelters!"
  3282. >You nod and sit back down.
  3283.  
  3284. >In a matter of minutes, the planet is basically down to zero.
  3285. >MM:"Are we done here?"
  3286. "Almost, where's your personal portal gun?"
  3287. >She gulps, pointing at her closet.
  3288. >Opening it reveals a stalkerlike shrine to some redhead you've never met, with a custom orange portal gun in the center. You grab it and walk past Starlight to the window.
  3289. >You type in Twi home world and shoot, opening a stable portal. The battery seems to be barely effected, as you hoped, so you close the portal and stick the gun under your arm.
  3290. >MM:"S-so you're planning on leaving me here to starve? Alone?"
  3291. >You shake your head, pointing your palm at her.
  3292. >"Welcome one and all to Twilights first and last magic show!..."
  3293. >Her eyes widen in fear.
  3294. >MM:"N-no! P-please!"
  3295. "Tonight the GREAT and POWERFUL TWILIGHT will be making a planet disappear!"
  3296. >Your MAG warps in front of your hand, disassembling itself and forming into a catalyst.
  3297. >Eyes white hot with energy, you gaze upon her as she struggles in vain to get up.
  3298. >MM:"Have mercy!"
  3299. "PSI FRIENDSHIP!"
  3300. >A thunderous crackle errupts forth from your hand as pure rainbow energy cleaves through everything in your wake.
  3301. >EXPECIALLY Starlight. You'd say you watched he light leave her eyes, but the blast was blindingly bright.
  3302. >Regaining visibility, you can see the core of the planet leaking out already. The wave will probably still come back through the other side though even with the sudden decrease in gravity, so you open a portal to the landing bay on Twilight world and hop on through.
  3303. >You don't bother keeping time as you wait for the ship, you just know its morning before they do.
  3304. >The ships mostly empty, but a few Twilights stayed for the ride. Your Sunset, Anon, and Moondancer come out carrying Spike and an improvised pardon for their/your war crime.
  3305. "Lets go home."
  3306.  
  3307. >Moondancer grimaces
  3308. >M:"Nice portal gun."
  3309. "Thanks, I thought we were due for another one."
  3310. >Sunset decides to come with you to mourn, it would be too hard to be alone.
  3311. >Portalling to U-888, you arrive outside your home. Stretching out your hand you scan your palm and enter.
  3312. >Inside is Trixie with a feast and a half eaten cake.
  3313. >T:"WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG? Trixie set up this WHOLE victory party for us!
  3314. >You look at the others, then back to the doorway.
  3315. "T-TRIXIE? How are you alive?!"
  3316. >She turns her head in confusion.
  3317. >T:"Of course Trixie is alive! You saved her with G.A.R.B.S.S. or whatever didn't you?!"
  3318. >You go pale.
  3319. "Uh... O-oh yeah! Of COURSE I did! I would have to be retarded to not think of that!"
  3320. >Trixie nods.
  3321. >T:"I'll admit, I was worried, but it just goes to show you can ALWAYS trust your friends right!?"
  3322. >You break into a cold sweat as she hugs you to near death.
  3323. >T:"Well, Trixie is going to go heat up the food again so we can do this right! Get comfortable and come help when you're ready! <3"
  3324. >As she jogs away, you look at each other.
  3325. >M:"Am I missing something? Why didn't you tell us you saved her you bitch!"
  3326. "I didn't, and no one besides me is linked to G.A.R.B.S.S. remotely!"
  3327. >Spike:"BARK BARK! GRRRRRRRRR!"
  3328. >The wet food in Spikes dish teleports above your head, getting all throughout your hair.
  3329. >You glare at Spike in the most conflicted way possible.
  3330. "...Except Spike. Thank you Spike, you emotionally manipulative son of a bitch."
  3331. >He prances away smugly as you march off to the shower.
  3332.  
  3333. -GOOD END-
RAW Paste Data