roast

 I'd give you a nasty look but you've already got one,
 If you were going to be two-faced at least make one of them pretty,
I love what you've done with your hair. How do you get it to come out of the nostrils like that,
 If laughter is the best medicine your face must be curing the world,
 The only way you'll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken's ass and wait,
 It looks like your face caught fire and someone tried to put it out with a hammer,
 I'd like to see things from your point of view, but I can't seem to get my head that far up your ass,
 I've seen people like you before but I had to pay admission,
 Scientists say the universe is made up of neutrons protons and electrons. They forgot to mention morons,
 You're so fat you could sell shade,
 Your lips keep moving but all I hear is Blah blah blah,
 Your family tree must be a cactus because everyone on it is a prick,
 You'll never be the man your mother is,
 I'm sorry, was I meant to be offended? The only thing offending me is your face,
 Someday you'll go far... and I hope you stay there,
 Which sexual position produces the ugliest children? Ask your mother,
 Stupidity's not a crime so you're free to go,
 If I had a face like yours I'd sue my parents,
 Your doctor called with your colonoscopy results. Good news - they found your head,
 No those pants don't make you look fatter - how could they,
 Save your breath - you'll need it to blow up your date,
 You're not stupid you just have bad luck when thinking,
 If you really want to know about mistakes you should ask your parents,
 Please keep talking. I always yawn when I am interested,
 The zoo called. They're wondering how you got out of your cage,
 Whatever kind of look you were going for you missed,
 I was hoping for a battle of wits but you appear to be unarmed,
 Aww it's so cute when you try to talk about things you don't understand,
 I don't know what makes you so stupid but it really works,
 You are proof that evolution can go in reverse,
 Brains aren't everything. In your case they're nothing,
 I thought of you today It reminded me to take the garbage out,
 You're so ugly when you look in the mirror your reflection looks away,
 I'm sorry I didn't get that - I don't speak idiot,
 Quick - check your face! I just found your nose in my business,
 It's better to let someone think you're stupid than open your mouth and prove it,
 Hey your village called - they want their idiot back,
 Were you born this stupid or did you take lessons,
 I've been called worse by better,
 You're such a beautiful intelligent wonderful person. Oh I'm sorry I thought we were having a lying competition,
 I may love to shop but I'm not buying your bull,
 I'd slap you but I don't want to make your face look any better,
 Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all stupid people,
 I just stepped in something that was smarter than you... and smelled better too,
 You have the right to remain silent because whatever you say will probably be stupid anyway,
 Your so ugly Hello Kitty said goodbye to you,
 Could you take a couple steps back. I have a nut allergy,
 Your so big a picture of you would fall off the wall,
 You look like a before picture,