A Mistaken Burden Transcript

When a series isn’t fully completed, the discussion inevitably becomes skewed by that very fact. Those speaking in the now will be approaching the topic with less insight then those forward who hold more context. And this distinction is of particular note with the series Puella Magi Madoka Magica and its follow up film, Rebellion. Because where Puella Magi can be said to have a complete ending, Rebellion very much leaves things to be resolved. That perception leads to understandable dissatisfaction: why set in motion events that had been perfectly stopped before? But at the same time, how Rebellion expands on the material inevitably re-contextualizes that which came previously, to the point that I personally don’t believe Puella Magi was ever truly complete at all. The last scene of the show can retroactively be seen as a sequel hook, as it presents Homura beginning to transform into a Witch in a world that should have none, as she takes Madoka’s words as a reason to keep fighting. Following this is Rebellion, a movie which presents Homura transforming into a Witch in a world that should have none, as she takes Madoka’s words as a reason to keep fighting. That’s a rather simple view, but with this in mind we can examine the story of Madoka not as a stopped one, but as something still in motion. If it is still in play, that means there are things yet to resolved. Things the story must address from here on out, like Madoka herself.

“I thought of myself as someone who had no redeeming qualities. I’d surely go on forever without benefiting or helping anyone else. I thought I’d simply be living for some reason of another until the end.”

Without anything she saw as worthwhile to her existence, Madoka was a girl who didn’t want to be a burden to those around her, not wishing to drag those she loved and admired down through being unable to offer anything to anyone. But there was hope. Through Kyubey, she had the chance to become a Magical Girl, one who could fight monsters to defend the innocent, one who did not burden others with her meaningless life, but allowed them to keep the lives they so valued. Lifting the burdens of others in itself became Madoka’s very desire, inspired by the senior who she looked up to. Mami was the ideal magical girl: a hero who so bravely fought for the sake of the innocent, who appeared to be so strong and resilient. Both Madoka and Sayaka looked to emulate her, but such admiration was childish, lacking in understanding. For as Homura once said of her, she was the hardest in appearance but the softest in heart, something that directly led to her fate. Mami was forced to grow up too quickly, the desire fulfilled by her wish being the simple hopes to live where otherwise she might have died. Unlike Madoka and Sayaka, she never got the chance to have her desires fulfilled through the miracle that was a contract, but that didn’t mean she was without desires. What she wanted was not something she could fulfill alone, because her greatest wish was to have someone to fight alongside her. She bore all the burden of being Mitakihara’s protecting magical girl alone, something inevitable given her response to the system that is Magical Girls, as shown in her assumptions and responses to Homura. The nature of Familiars and Witches was one that rewarded Magical Girls for allowing Familiars to grow into Witches so that they could reap more Grief Seeds with which to maintain themselves, but this would be at the expense of innocent lives. Homura’s attempt to stop Madoka and Sayaka from making a contract too appeared to be coming from a similar state of mind in Mami’s eyes. Madoka and Sayaka could be valuable warriors in the battle against Witches, yet Homura appeared to be keeping them out of that fight to remove any competition. To allow Familiars to become Witches, or to prevent other Magical Girls from fighting, both were acts that allowed for more Grief Seeds, the Magical Girl relieving their own burden at the expense of innocents caught up in the struggle, so Mami rejected that which she believed Homura represented. Her integrity could not allow that, but it could allow for a comrade: another Magical Girl of similar outlook and beliefs with which to fight alongside her. Mutually bearing the same burden: they would act against the monsters that threatened innocents. And Madoka wanted to help, she wanted to fight for the sake of fighting. Mami graciously accepted the idea of Madoka helping to lift her burden. For a cake, Madoka would give her life to fight by Mami’s side. In just the thought of having her desires fulfilled through the sacrifices of someone else, Mami allowed herself to overlook the severity of what it really meant to give one’s life fighting for something so trivial, and entered her next battle with her spirits lifted of the burden she’d been carrying for so long. She rushed to end the fight as quickly as possible, almost desperate to have the ally she’d been wanting for so long. She was eager. She was hasty. She let her guard down. She was killed.

Mami’s desire to have her burden lifted had her fighting as though it was already gone, but she was still alone after all, even in death. To Madoka, the survivor, that death was further evidence of her own weakness and lack of worth. She didn’t have the conviction to take Mami’s burden, to help fight when she’d needed help most of all. In her regret she wondered if it might have been better for her to have died instead. But Sayaka saw in Mami’s death what was taken from the city: a protector. Sayaka believed that someone else had to take up the torch, to serve as a force of good where Mami no longer could. Like Mami she took on the burden alone, and like Mami she could not truly bear it.

Where Mami and Madoka had no specific desires beyond how they wanted to live, Sayaka had her eyes on Kyousuke. Like she protected lives as a Magical Girl, preventing the burden from reaching those normal lives, in her wish she lifted the burden of Kyousuke, the pain he had in being unable to live how he wanted. She gave her life for what was a selfish desire, but she could not admit that. Even though she loved Kyousuke and wanted to be with him, to act on her selfish desires would contradict the ideals she’d hoped to carry on from Mami. Mami had lived bearing the burden of others, so Sayaka could not let another bear the burden of her wishes, the knowledge of the sacrifice she made for their sake. A Magical Girl only existed to defeat Witches. Sayaka sought the most painful and lonely route, but it was one that she believed she could bear, even if it was at the expense of what humanity she had left. She despised the form she took as a magical girl, throwing away her self-preservation along with her ability to sense pain, her love. She would do nothing for the sake of herself, and in fighting exclusively for others she ceased being human. In her limited perspective, Mami had no personal desires, so she had to emulate that no matter how much she had to suffer.

But while her way of life is something completely at odds with being a Magical Girl, or even a human, she was reflected in Kyouko, her ideological inverse. Like Sayaka, Kyouko wished for the sake of someone else yet didn’t truly get what she wanted, but rather than cut herself off from humanity, she cut herself off from everyone else. She became the exact kind of Magical Girl the system demanded, one purely selfish, living at the expense of others. Her conflict with Sayaka was only natural, but while they were so different, they were also similar, in the end coming to recognize the side in the other they’d once rejected. Sayaka’s last moments were spent recognizing her foolishness, the humanity she’d lost before truly becoming something inhuman. And Kyouko’s were spent in earnestly and honestly trying to help the one she saw herself in without expecting anything in return, bearing the burden of Sayaka’s mistakes to try and reclaim the heroism she once had. Their lives were ones full of mistakes, acted out in response to others doing what they felt was most right. Even if their actions were full of failure, that was how they moved forward, something impressed upon even in the story itself.

“Do you still want a solution, even if it isn’t with a clean and pretty method?:
“Yeah.”
“Then you should make mistakes. Someone should make mistakes for the portion of that overly righteous girl.”
“Make mistakes?”
“Something like telling a cunning lie, or running away from a scary thing. But there are times when you realize that those developed into the correct choice. If you’re truly lost at the end of the line with no other options, you might as well try something like boldly making a mistake.”

Madoka is a good girl, one who was too pure natured and well meaning to have made a mistake. From Junko’s advice she dared to take Sayaka’s Soul Gem, revealing the unsettling nature of the contracts that have irreversibly changed the bodies of all Magical Girls. While that fact further damaged Sayaka’s psyche, it also further gave Madoka the knowledge she needed to realize the nature of the Incubators, said knowledge helping her to come to the decision she needed to in the end of Puella Magi. But she didn’t see it that way, the pain she caused further giving her fear of taking action. Madoka spends Puella Magi trapped in indecision. She knows what she wants but isn’t confident about taking the steps needed. Homura insists being as she is will be is for the best. Kyouko states that if someone were only to become a Magical Girl out of a simple whim rather than something earnest she’d dislike that. Sayaka noted that the wish would be so much better served in the hands of those who’d suffered, not carefree girls such as themselves, and in going against her own words she came to fall. Everyone tells her she’d be making a mistake, many of them going on to make mistakes of their own, yet ultimately she moves beyond the inablity to change, the weight of inaction, making her wish. By daring to try, she’s able to move forward. By changing the system of Magical Girls itself she bears all the burden. No longer will becoming a Magical Girl end in a curse, no longer will desires of the innocent be wasted. It all seems so complete, but in making her wish, Madoka’s grand, sweeping movement still left unaccounted for burdens. She moved because she believed she did the right thing, and with how much improved it’s not incorrect to say that she did well. But how does this wish compare to the childish mistakes of those who came before her?

Junko’s suggestion is one core to the various conflicts of the series as a whole, not only Madoka. When one is doing what they believe is the right thing, sometimes the only thing one can do to help them is to make a mistake. Kyouko’s father was one who did nothing wrong. To Kyouko he was the good willed preacher whose words were only going on deaf ears, so for his sake, she made an error. Her wish was an attempt to fulfill his desires, but in making that wish she took away his ability to overcome. Madoka asked Junko what she might wish for, and she laughed the idea off, suggesting she might have some superiors step down but admitting no one could take the place of her company’s president. But when Madoka suggested she become president herself, Junko’s demeanor changed, as she began to visualize the path she might need to take to reach that goal. Later, Madoka asked her dad about why Junko held her job, and he suggested that what she liked about her work was the feeling of overcoming. Junko laughed off the idea of a wish, because having a desire being fulfilled for her would take away the satisfaction of earning it herself, the very reason she walked a difficult road in the first place. And when the nature of Kyouko’s wish was revealed to her father, what was taken from him was that reward in overcoming. He did not gather the followers he’d amassed through his own effort and kindness, they did not follow him out of empathy and understanding. He preached for faith, but his own daughter failed to have any faith in him. That revelation destroyed him, and he destroyed their family. Kyouko made a mistake, not in that she’d wished for the sake of another, but in the simple act of wishing at all.

“I want you to form contracts with me and become Magical Girls!”

The contracts that create magical girls are tempting, and deliberately so. The Incubators seek the energy of emotion. Through having their desires fulfilled and fighting for the rest of their lives, Magical Girls in turn come to aid both humanity through stopping Witches from their senseless crusades of murder and destruction, and the rest of the universe as a whole, extending its lifespan through energy created from their desires. Through having selfish wishes fulfilled they selflessly help the whole. It sounds perfect, ideal, tantalizing. Even knowing the full picture, Madoka can’t deny Kyubey’s assertions as to the benefits of Incubator contact with Earth beyond her own emotions. Living in a world built on sacrifice, it only makes sense that more sacrifice will be required to sustain it. But it is also true that the nature of the universe is one that balances blessings and curses. A wish born of love will create an equivalent despair. The fate of the magical girl is something inevitable: for their desires they will die. Kyubey hid this fact. He’s knowledgeable but not a perfect being, and his words are not something that can be taken totally at face value. We see with our eyes the relationship between curses and blessings, the power of karmic burden: evidence for his claims, but he also suggests that without the influence of Incubators, humanity might still be living in caves. And while it’s not an unreasonable, illogical assumption, it’s one made without a potential counterpoint, without witnessed evidence to the contrary. There is no other universe to make the grounds for comparison, meaning the statement is one of pure speculation, given not because Kyubey wholly believes it as fact, but because it’s a sentiment convenient to his desires. Madoka becoming a Magical Girl would reap extraordinary gains for his kind and the universe as a whole, so whatever he needs to say to convince Madoka must be said, even if it means pushing for the idea that the relationship between man and Incubator is a symbiotic one, when it is in fact, parasitic. In his words, he claimed the survival of the human race and their admittance into the galactic society were a guarantee, rewarding humanity for its sacrifices in the girls who died for the sake of the universe as a whole. Isn’t that at odds with the very nature of curses and blessings Kyubey himself explained? And sure enough, in the reality we see beyond Kyubey’s hypotheticals, when Madoka’s power had grown to the point that Earth’s complete destruction was inevitability, Kyubey simply lamented that his energy quota had not been fully reached, leaving humanity to its end. The truth was right there in the framework, built into the structure of lies: a blessing would become a curse. This was a simple fact of nature. For the miracle of a wish, there would be inevitable karmic darkness to follow. So, for the desires of an irrational race of beasts living in caves, wishing for civilization, they would inevitably be destroyed for the miracle they desired. The relationship between Incubators and humanity is simply a macrocosm of being a Magical Girl. For their desires, and for their sacrifice, everything else would benefit from the burden being pushed on one who’s made to believe it’s in their best interest to take that burden. In battle against Witches created by Incubators, Magical Girls fight and die, just like humanity itself is an ignorant young child, who will fight and die so the rest of the universe can stave off their fear of death for just a little longer. Despicable and cowardly, the Incubators cannot bear the burden of their own fear, deceiving humanity into taking it for them, preying on that which makes them human. The relationship between humans and Incubators is in itself, a childish mistake, the juvenile humanity led to believe it could have its desires fulfilled for free, only to meet its end prematurely. The will to overcome is not so easily born in a wish. Rather than build itself up with its own two hands, humanity took the easy path, and for that their clocked ticked down to their early demise. Believing in effortless miracles is the ignorance of the child. Magical Girls: mahou shoujo, are the picture of adolescence, that childish hope exploited for others in the bonds with Incubators.

Even though Madoka changed the system, even though she tried to take all the burden on herself, the Incubators still remained. Humanity is not their ally, and through Homura they attempted to control the Law of Cycles, attempting to further exploit humanity for their own ends. As long as they had power they would likely persist even after their failure in the events of Rebellion. But Homura’s course of action was not for such righteous purposes as to stop the Incubators. While they remain as her puppets, trapped by the humanity they could no longer control, it was her love and desire to be with Madoka that had her reaching out her own hand. And while it was unwanted, it was an act mirrored with Madoka’s wish in so many ways. Where Madoka became a god, Homura the devil. Where Madoka remade the world for her desires, Homura remade that world for hers. And where Madoka sought to save Homura, Homura too saved Madoka

At the heart of Madoka’s desires is a longing for self-worth. She is the one who doesn’t want to be a burden to any, and in her wish she found her self-worth through lifting the burdens of everyone. And yet this end result isn’t framed as fully positive, just as Homura’s actions in Rebellion aren’t fully negative. Because while Madoka’s wish gave her the self-worth she wanted, it was completely at the expense of herself. Not dead, nor alive, only Homura even knew she existed. And when matched with the image in Rebellion of Madoka’s spiritual arm, covered in cuts, its hard not to read some form of depression into Madoka’s character. Unable to help others she saw her existence as something that would only trouble them. In not seeing any good qualities in herself, she could not find the strength to try and improve, overcoming her own insecurities. Yet if she did die that would cause pain to those who she loved. And through her wish, Madoka achieved her desires perfectly, in the form of an ideal suicide. In being forgotten, none of those she loved would be hurt by her absence, unable to feel pain by missing someone they never knew. Madoka simply disappeared. She would record the memory of all Magical Girls who fought, but not be remembered herself, saving every magical girl but one. Her family would live on not knowing the influence they had on the one who no longer existed. And in the wake of her disappearance was Homura, the one who knew her struggle better than any, the one who desired for Madoka to exist more than anything. The one who watched Madoka effectively kill herself for her existence being too much of a burden. To accept the ending of Puella Magi is to accept finding value in oneself through offering themselves in their entirety. And though she did so of her own volition, in Rebellion its told to only be a brave face hiding loneliness, much like the brave senior who inspired her. But the lonely burden of the universe was not one she could bear. If the nature of the universe that required Madoka’s sacrifice to continue was in itself wrong, then why shouldn’t Homura reject that ending?

When one is walking the path they believe is right, sometimes the only thing another can do is make a mistake. Homura offered everything for Madoka’s sake. Too afraid to let her come to any harm, to bear any unneeded burden, Homura kept her distance and fought to ensure Madoka never suffered on account of her. But the very mechanics she used to fight and try were those which increased Madoka’s karmic burden with every attempt, increasing the weight of her efforts and burdening herself for Madoka’s sake, the last thing Madoka wanted. To push her from her well meaning path, Madoka made a mistake, betraying the value of her existence for the sake of others. But Homura too had to change. Choosing not to go against Madoka might protect her from Homura, but it could not protect Madoka from herself. To be with another is to inevitably risk hurting them, and through choosing to act for her own sake rather than be submissive to another’s will out of fear of harming them, she made a crucial step, and a childish mistake. They both believed they could carry the burden of the other, yet their desires eternally keep them at odds. Homura too was without self-worth, but it was Madoka who saved her, Madoka who wanted her to live up to the name Homura was given. Madoka who died saving the city she loved, leaving Homura alone yet again. It was Madoka who gave Homura her self-worth, so in her eyes, as long as Madoka did not exist, she had no reason to either. That was something she could not bear, so she made a wish in service of her desires. Not to simply bring Madoka back, but to allow her to fight alongside her. She would help Madoka bear the burden of defending Mitakihara. But it was not meant to be. Madoka could not let anyone else be burdened through her actions, so she would not live if it meant another would die. She would not become a Witch, that which forcibly burdens all others with her existence. For that desire she would give Homura some of her burden, and Homura would take all of it, everything to save Madoka, everything to protect Madoka. No one else could be trusted with that task, not even Madoka herself. The ending of Rebellion has Homura caging her like a bird to keep her from flying off into a storm, briefly attempting to keep her from realizing the truth because she would inevitably attempt to sacrifice herself again in attempts to achieve her self-worth. Homura’s actions are those where she must keep Madoka in her grasp for her own desires, including her self-worth that does not exist without Madoka. The last scenes echo Homura’s first meeting with Madoka as Homura attempted to replicate the circumstances that had her falling in love, but even though they both lack self-worth, Madoka is not Homura. Where Homura only loves Madoka, Madoka still loves the world, and Homura would not take that from her. If she were to take away a key part of the Madoka she loved, she would stop being that person she so valued. Madoka cannot be allowed to change so Homura ties her down, conceding on the belief that their conflict would be inevitable. Like she fought to save Madoka, Madoka will fight to save Homura yet again: two girls with no self-worth in endless conflict trying to save the other from themselves.

Without compromise it will be a conflict without end, and the ones that must go forward are Madoka and Homura on their own feet. In a series full of childish mistakes, theirs are the ones who take the actions most free of curses. To make a wish of blessing and have one’s desires granted is to invite a curse, but their wishes were not purely for desires alone. Their wishes were those that allowed them to fight to alleviate the burden of others, granting them the opportunity to earn through overcoming, not purely being handed everything they wanted. Homura fought for Madoka through time and Madoka for all magical girls through existence, even if their power still comes from the Incubators. It’s not completely right, but it’s not completely wrong. One cannot be granted self-worth, they must find it in themselves without it being at the expense of themselves or another. Through their wishes they reveal the strengths needed to overcome their own burdens. To find the courage to push on without having another grant your desire for you leads to a future where there is no guarantee of whether curse or blessing will come. In their childish mistakes they fail forward in that painful journey to adulthood rather then let themselves sit paused from the fear of growing up.