Marley & Me (2008)

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There's nothing like
the experience of raising your first dog.

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The simple joy of walking side by side
with your buddy...

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...out in the fresh air, throwing a stick.

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Spending some quiet time,
just you and your very best friend.

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Of course, that wasn't my experience.

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That kid's not even me.

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That's me.

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And that crazy hound I'm chasing
is Marley, the world's worst dog.

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Sorry.

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Or so I thought.

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But our story begins
before Marley was born...

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...four years before,
on my wedding day...

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...which happened to be the day
of the worst freak spring blizzard...

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...in the history of southern Michigan,
the same day our car broke down.

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But we didn't care.

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Oh, God, that feels so good.

17
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So, what do you think that means,
a blizzard on your wedding day?

18
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Is that good luck? Is that bad luck?

19
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I think it's good luck.

20
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- How did I get you?
- What?

21
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Honestly, how did I...?
How did I get that lucky?

22
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Well, you know...

23
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...I get asked that question all the time.

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Come on. Are you kidding, honey?

25
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You're part of the plan.

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- The plan?
- Mm. My plan.

27
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Step one, meet an incredibly sweet,
smart, sexy man.

28
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Done. Step two?

29
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Marry you instead.

30
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- Oh.
- Oh, now.

31
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Then step three...

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- I don't think I can take any more.
- You don't want to hear step three?

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- What's step three?
- It's easy.

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- Be gentle.
- Move someplace warmer.

35
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I knew you were gonna say that.

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- Okay.
- Thank you.

37
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- All right, you know you got this, right?
- Oh, yeah. I got it.

38
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Who are you?
- I'm John Grogan?

39
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No, you're John frigging Grogan,
who's about to get a job as a reporter...

40
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...for a major metropolitan newspaper.

41
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- I don't feel like getting out of the car.
- Well, you have to.

42
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- Why don't we drive around the block?
- No, baby. Come on, get out of the car.

43
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Get out.

44
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- Now, who am I again?
- Oh, please.

45
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Ah.

46
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Sebastian says you won some award?

47
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Mitchy. Yeah, I have a Mitchy.

48
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It's like a Pulitzer,
but from western Michigan.

49
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A Mitchy.

50
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So tell me, what made you leave
the estimable Kalamazoo Gazette?

51
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Well, as you know, Sebastian and I were
in college together, and he... He...

52
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He was always saying
how great South Florida is...

53
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...and that maybe my wife and I
might enjoy it here...

54
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...so we decided to come down here.

55
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- Are you a comedian too?
- Excuse me?

56
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Like your friend over here?

57
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- No.
- He's walking a very thin line.

58
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It's a good thing he knows how to write.

59
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So your wife is Jenny Havens?

60
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Yes. Jenny Grogan, because
we're married. She took my name.

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- She get the job at the Post?
- Yes, she did.

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- Why didn't they want you over there?
- Well, I didn't apply.

63
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Jenny's more of a feature writer,
and I'm more of a straight news writer.

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I thought this would be a better fit
for that.

65
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Think you're better
than the journalism-school graduates...

66
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...that came here looking for work
this morning?

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I don't know if I'm better. I...

68
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What I do know is that I have a tendency
to surprise myself.

69
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Ten years ago I was doing bong hits
and playing "Donkey Kong. "

70
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I never dreamed I'd get into college,
but I did, and I graduated with honors.

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And I never thought I'd get a job
at a real newspaper, but I did.

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And I certainly never thought I'd get a girl
like Jenny Havens to marry me...

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...but I did.

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So?

75
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They already got a guy
on the Metro desk.

76
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Oh.

77
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- Yeah.
- I'm sorry, honey.

78
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So they're putting me on a little thing
they like to call "Desert Storm. "

79
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- You got the job?
- Got the job.

80
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You got the job, baby.

81
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Oh, John Grogan, I knew it.
I just knew it.

82
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Okay, look. Watch this. Look.

83
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See what happens? Job: Done.

84
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- So, what's next? Lunch?
- House.

85
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- House.
- House.

86
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That can transmit
remote television pictures...

87
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...of Iraqi ships and other targets.

88
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Did you get to the quote
about the speed bumps yet?

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- "If they save even one life... "
- "It would be worth it.

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And with that,
Janet Dickerson's eyes filled with tears. "

91
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Filled with tears.

92
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- Do you like that or is it too corny?
- Yeah.

93
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- No.
- Is it a little over-the-top?

94
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Hey, honey, what happened
to the, uh, Desert Storm piece?

95
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That's it. The injured girl's dad's
in Kuwait. Is that not in there?

96
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Uh, uh-uh. I think they cut that.

97
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They even...
They spelled your name wrong.

98
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- "John Gorgan. "
- You're kidding.

99
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- Let me see that. Are you joking?
- Forget it.

100
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You know what? It's good. It's really
good. It's got the facts, it's got color.

101
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- It's a really solid piece.
- Thanks.

102
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I tried to breathe some life into it,
you know?

103
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Yes.

104
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I like this article.
I'm almost done with yours.

105
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This idea of voting machines
sounds really efficient.

106
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When you get to the next page...

107
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...you'll see that I talk
about what could happen.

108
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Oh, okay, I see, it continues.

109
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Yeah.

110
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But actually,
the rest of it is really just okay.

111
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- It's actually kind of boring.
- No, no, it's... I'm enjoying this.

112
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Wow.

113
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They really gave you a lot of space.

114
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Oh, damn. Killed another one.

115
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How am I ever supposed to take care
of a kid if I can't even keep a plant alive?

116
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Well, what did you expect, man?
You bought a house.

117
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- A house with a spare room.
- What's the matter with a spare room?

118
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It's empty, John,
that's what's wrong with it.

119
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And you know what else is empty?

120
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Her womb.

121
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I'm worried Jenny's at step seven.

122
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What?

123
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She's got her whole life organized and
planned out according to these steps.

124
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Okay, that's scary. Unbelievable.

125
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You want my advice?

126
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Get her, like, a bird
or a puppy or something.

127
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What, like a parakeet?

128
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Something other than you
that she has to take care of.

129
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You got a kid, you're a dad.
You're not you anymore.

130
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- You got a dog, you're a master.
- Master.

131
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- You're still a guy.
- Still got a life.

132
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- Exactly.
- And a dog.

133
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Yeah, but you've stopped her clock
for a few years.

134
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- I never had a dog.
- Nothing to it.

135
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Feed them, walk them,
let them out now and again.

136
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But it doesn't really matter.
You're not gonna take care of it, Jenny is.

137
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Sebastian!
- Yo.

138
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Your travel's been approved.
Hit the road.

139
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- Where are you going?
I'm going to Colombia.

140
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I got a guy down there that says
he can put me next to Pablo Escobar.

141
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I'm doing a piece.

142
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I follow a single coca leaf
from the jungle to the streets of Miami.

143
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Sounds like a good idea.
You gotta be careful down there...

144
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Gorgan!

145
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- Grogan.
- Grodin. A fire at the county dump.

146
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- Methane leak.
- Methane?

147
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Yeah, I want two paragraphs
for the blotter.

148
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Methane.

149
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Woodward and Bernstein,
eat your heart out.

150
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What kind of dog?

151
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- You remember Caroline?
- The nurse?

152
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She was a nursery-school teacher,
I don't know.

153
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Anyway, she had this great dog, Daisy.

154
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- It was a Labradoodle.
- "Labradoodle"?

155
00:10:02,246 --> 00:10:05,791
- Maybe a Labrador.
- All right, get her a Labrador.

156
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Supposed to be just like kids,
only easier to train.

157
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"Labradoodle"? Come on.

158
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- This does not smell like an IHOP.
- We got a little surprise first.

159
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Here we go.

160
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Now, I want you to walk right here,
my dear.

161
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Okay.

162
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Come on.
Oh, God.

163
00:10:32,485 --> 00:10:34,028
- Okay.
- Are you Grogan?

164
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Yes.
- Expected you an hour ago.

165
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You're gonna like this. Step up.
It's all right. Okay?

166
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- Sorry about the mess.
Okay.

167
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- And the noise. And the smell.
- What's happening?

168
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Come on.

169
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- Can I look?
- No, no. Almost, almost.

170
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- Okay. Okay, ready?
- Really?

171
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One, two, three, go.

172
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- Happy birthday.
What?

173
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- God, they're adorable.
- Get in.

174
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Oh, my... My birthday's not for a month.

175
00:11:04,517 --> 00:11:08,271
Oh, that's okay,
they can't leave for three weeks anyway.

176
00:11:08,437 --> 00:11:12,859
- John, we didn't discuss this.
- I know, but it was a surprise. You can't.

177
00:11:13,025 --> 00:11:15,862
Hi, guys.
- Just rescued the mom last month.

178
00:11:16,028 --> 00:11:19,156
Family that gave her up
didn't even know she was pregnant.

179
00:11:19,323 --> 00:11:21,951
- You sure we're ready for this?
Well, like I told you...

180
00:11:22,118 --> 00:11:25,204
...you gotta wait three weeks
before you can bring them home.

181
00:11:25,371 --> 00:11:26,914
- I'm not even gonna be here.
- Why?

182
00:11:27,081 --> 00:11:29,876
- I'll be in Gainesville, covering that trial.
- Oh, that's okay.

183
00:11:30,042 --> 00:11:33,629
It'll give me a chance to bond with him
and get a head start on training him.

184
00:11:33,796 --> 00:11:35,673
Get him squared away
before you get home.

185
00:11:35,840 --> 00:11:37,133
- That's true.
- Yeah.

186
00:11:37,300 --> 00:11:42,555
- Well, how are we gonna pick one?
- Girls are 300, boys are 275.

187
00:11:42,722 --> 00:11:46,809
Except for that little guy there.
Him you could have for 200 even.

188
00:11:46,976 --> 00:11:51,063
This one? You're so sweet.
You're like a little clearance puppy.

189
00:11:51,230 --> 00:11:53,566
- Hello, puppy.
This one likes you.

190
00:11:53,900 --> 00:11:55,985
Clearance Puppy likes you.

191
00:11:56,235 --> 00:11:58,487
Well, that's your guy.

192
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Aw. I was gonna pick you anyway.

193
00:12:01,240 --> 00:12:03,576
Don't tell anybody.
Don't tell the others.

194
00:12:07,955 --> 00:12:11,250
Honey, be careful.
- We gotta double-time it a little bit here.

195
00:12:11,417 --> 00:12:14,086
- I really wish I didn't have to go.
- It's gonna be great.

196
00:12:14,253 --> 00:12:16,589
You spent eight months on this trial.
I'm jealous.

197
00:12:16,756 --> 00:12:19,425
Really? Tax evasion?
That's what makes you jealous?

198
00:12:19,592 --> 00:12:21,719
Well, it's sexier than speed bumps.

199
00:12:21,886 --> 00:12:24,555
- Call me the minute you get him home.
- Okay. Okay.

200
00:12:24,722 --> 00:12:28,017
- We also have to come up with a name.
- Yes, well, let's brainstorm it.

201
00:12:28,184 --> 00:12:30,603
I'll just call him Clearance Puppy
till you get back.

202
00:12:30,770 --> 00:12:31,812
Are you gonna be okay?

203
00:12:31,979 --> 00:12:33,731
- Worried about me with a puppy?
- I am.

204
00:12:33,898 --> 00:12:35,942
- Me, John frigging Grogan? Come on.
- I know.

205
00:12:36,108 --> 00:12:39,403
- Goodbye. I love you. You look pretty.
- Thank you. I love you. Bye.

206
00:12:44,784 --> 00:12:47,119
How you doing there, buddy?

207
00:12:47,286 --> 00:12:49,622
Kind of a big day for you.

208
00:12:51,874 --> 00:12:55,920
Let's listen to the radio.
Awkward silences.

209
00:12:57,922 --> 00:12:59,799
You like that? You like Bob Marley?

210
00:13:01,133 --> 00:13:05,346
Bob. Would that be a good name? Bob.

211
00:13:05,513 --> 00:13:06,931
Bob. Come here, Bob.

212
00:13:07,098 --> 00:13:11,269
Or Robert when you got older?
More dignified?

213
00:13:11,644 --> 00:13:14,564
Marley? You like that.

214
00:13:14,730 --> 00:13:16,315
That has a nice ring to it.

215
00:13:16,482 --> 00:13:18,609
Okay, whoa, come on.

216
00:13:18,776 --> 00:13:20,945
It's better if you ride shotgun...

217
00:13:21,112 --> 00:13:26,492
...because we don't wanna have
a car crash on our first real day together.

218
00:13:30,830 --> 00:13:34,083
Okay, come here. Come here.

219
00:13:34,250 --> 00:13:36,961
It's a big day. You can ride over here.

220
00:13:37,128 --> 00:13:40,923
Maybe it's okay today,
just this one time.

221
00:13:42,675 --> 00:13:48,139
If we get pulled over, we explain.
We explain what the circumstances are.

222
00:13:55,354 --> 00:13:58,274
- What happened?
- The Millers got robbed.

223
00:13:58,441 --> 00:14:01,694
Again? Good thing I got a watchdog.

224
00:14:01,861 --> 00:14:03,279
Hey, buddy.

225
00:14:03,446 --> 00:14:05,948
- He's got some teeth.
Oh, yeah.

226
00:14:06,532 --> 00:14:07,950
I'll just get him some water.

227
00:14:08,117 --> 00:14:10,203
You're not gonna keep him
in the backyard.

228
00:14:10,369 --> 00:14:13,164
Gonna keep him in the garage
till I get him housetrained.

229
00:14:13,581 --> 00:14:15,041
Hmm.

230
00:14:15,541 --> 00:14:18,336
Marley, no, no. Marley, Marley, Marley.
Oh, no.

231
00:14:20,379 --> 00:14:24,133
Hey, you've had enough food, Marley.
You've had two bowls of kibble.

232
00:14:24,300 --> 00:14:27,386
You had half a seat belt in the car.

233
00:14:30,723 --> 00:14:33,267
How are you still eating?

234
00:14:36,729 --> 00:14:39,232
I don't understand where you can put it.

235
00:14:39,398 --> 00:14:43,778
And here's the little box
where Marley is going to bunk down.

236
00:14:43,945 --> 00:14:47,240
Pretty cozy. All right, good night.

237
00:14:51,911 --> 00:14:55,790
You're gonna be okay.
I'm just right inside.

238
00:14:56,541 --> 00:14:58,543
Sleep tight.

239
00:15:26,946 --> 00:15:28,990
All right.

240
00:15:30,575 --> 00:15:35,288
Come on, Marley.
You're killing me, you know that?

241
00:15:51,304 --> 00:15:55,766
Oh, we've got some cleaning up to do
before the missus gets back.

242
00:15:56,642 --> 00:15:58,144
All right.

243
00:15:58,311 --> 00:16:03,691
I'm off to the airport, and you're gonna
ride out the rain right in your little box.

244
00:16:05,860 --> 00:16:07,069
Just a little thunder.

245
00:16:08,154 --> 00:16:09,197
Back in a flash.

246
00:16:35,932 --> 00:16:36,974
Hi.
- Get in here.

247
00:16:37,141 --> 00:16:38,726
Oh, my God.

248
00:16:41,312 --> 00:16:43,356
- Hi.
- How are you?

249
00:16:43,523 --> 00:16:44,857
- How's my puppy?
- I'm okay.

250
00:16:45,024 --> 00:16:48,945
A little tired, but I'm trying to stay dry.

251
00:16:49,111 --> 00:16:51,531
- Really, how is he?
- He's waiting for you.

252
00:17:04,669 --> 00:17:09,340
Do you hear that? Is that...?
I think that's Marley.

253
00:17:16,556 --> 00:17:20,309
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Look at this.

254
00:17:21,185 --> 00:17:23,980
- This is not how I left it.
- How long did you leave him here?

255
00:17:24,146 --> 00:17:27,316
I left him for maybe an hour, tops.
Did he eat the dry wall?

256
00:17:28,901 --> 00:17:33,281
- Oh, that's not right.
- That's... One little dog did that.

257
00:17:33,447 --> 00:17:35,992
Oh, honey, you're shaking.

258
00:17:36,158 --> 00:17:39,328
Does thunder scare you, mister?

259
00:17:40,413 --> 00:17:42,164
Sweet boy.

260
00:17:42,582 --> 00:17:44,667
Oh, look at us.

261
00:17:45,334 --> 00:17:46,544
Oh.

262
00:17:46,878 --> 00:17:50,256
So I'm in this cave,
and I can feel the machine guns.

263
00:17:50,423 --> 00:17:52,216
There's like nine of them around me.

264
00:17:52,383 --> 00:17:54,886
- What, like AK-47s?
- Kalashnikovs.

265
00:17:55,052 --> 00:17:56,846
- Then Escobar comes in and says...
- Escobar?

266
00:17:58,347 --> 00:18:02,018
Yeah, he says,
"I read your piece on Qaddafi...

267
00:18:02,185 --> 00:18:05,104
...and I think
you captured his narcissism perfectly. "

268
00:18:06,105 --> 00:18:08,858
- Can you believe that?
- Some of it.

269
00:18:09,317 --> 00:18:10,776
I wish you could've been there.

270
00:18:10,943 --> 00:18:14,614
But who's gonna cover the power struggle
down at the Rotary club in Delray?

271
00:18:14,780 --> 00:18:17,033
Oh, it's been just crazy.

272
00:18:17,450 --> 00:18:19,785
- Your time will come, amigo.
- I'll drink to that.

273
00:18:19,952 --> 00:18:22,872
That was crazy. Oh, my God.

274
00:18:24,665 --> 00:18:27,084
- Oh, my God.
- That is the cutest thing I've ever seen.

275
00:18:27,251 --> 00:18:28,544
Say hello, Marley.

276
00:18:28,711 --> 00:18:30,922
Can I hold him?
- Of course. Here you go.

277
00:18:31,088 --> 00:18:33,716
You're so cute.
- Oh, I love their puppy breath.

278
00:18:33,883 --> 00:18:35,676
- Ahem.
- Oh.

279
00:18:35,843 --> 00:18:37,970
Have you guys met
my buddy Sebastian?

280
00:18:38,137 --> 00:18:39,764
Sebastian, Viviana. Nice to meet you.

281
00:18:39,931 --> 00:18:41,224
Hi.
- Hi, I'm Shannon.

282
00:18:41,390 --> 00:18:43,476
- Hey, he's a beauty, isn't he?
He's adorable.

283
00:18:43,643 --> 00:18:46,979
I actually think the
"puppy instead of a baby" idea is working.

284
00:18:47,146 --> 00:18:48,898
Yeah, it's certainly working for me.

285
00:18:49,065 --> 00:18:51,651
Can I take him home?
You're so cute, yes, you are.

286
00:18:51,817 --> 00:18:55,279
I can't let you have the puppy, but
you might have a shot with the big dog.

287
00:18:55,446 --> 00:18:56,822
- Oh, yeah?
- I'm easy.

288
00:18:56,989 --> 00:18:59,825
Oh, you're easy?
- And I do tricks. I'm paper-trained.

289
00:19:02,328 --> 00:19:03,955
Oh, no, no.

290
00:19:04,121 --> 00:19:05,164
Oh, my God.
Marley.

291
00:19:05,331 --> 00:19:07,500
- Marley!
Come back, puppy.

292
00:19:07,667 --> 00:19:09,126
Marley! Marley!

293
00:19:16,717 --> 00:19:18,344
Marley!

294
00:19:19,136 --> 00:19:20,930
Marley! Marley!

295
00:19:27,061 --> 00:19:30,189
- Marley!
- Marley!

296
00:19:37,405 --> 00:19:39,824
Got him. Thanks.
- You have to be more careful, man.

297
00:19:39,991 --> 00:19:43,703
It's our first week together,
so we're still working out the kinks.

298
00:19:43,870 --> 00:19:46,873
You shouldn't bring a dog to
the dog beach until he's trained.

299
00:19:47,039 --> 00:19:48,708
Okay, can I get the dog back?

300
00:19:49,292 --> 00:19:52,044
Never let him off leash
unless you have complete confidence.

301
00:19:52,211 --> 00:19:55,339
This is the only beach in two counties
where dogs aren't banned.

302
00:19:55,506 --> 00:19:59,093
Cops see anybody peeing or pooping
down by the water, they'll shut us down.

303
00:19:59,260 --> 00:20:00,303
Heh, heh.

304
00:20:00,469 --> 00:20:01,888
Why is that funny to you?

305
00:20:03,472 --> 00:20:05,224
I'm just very immature.

306
00:20:06,559 --> 00:20:07,935
Calvin!

307
00:20:09,604 --> 00:20:14,233
See? Aren't you glad you're not Calvin?
See how easy you got it?

308
00:20:17,361 --> 00:20:18,404
Marley, stop.

309
00:20:19,530 --> 00:20:21,908
Marley. Marley.

310
00:20:22,533 --> 00:20:24,535
Honey, the dog's got my...

311
00:20:24,702 --> 00:20:26,579
Marley, no.

312
00:20:27,496 --> 00:20:30,708
Marley,
you can't go through a screen door.

313
00:20:41,886 --> 00:20:42,929
Hey, Steve.

314
00:20:43,095 --> 00:20:45,515
- Happy Thanksgiving.
- You too.

315
00:20:46,140 --> 00:20:47,558
Marley.

316
00:20:50,102 --> 00:20:53,814
It just seems like there's other guys.
Don't understand why you thought of me.

317
00:20:53,981 --> 00:20:57,276
- I'm in a bind.
- Yeah, but I'm a reporter, not a columnist.

318
00:20:57,443 --> 00:20:59,570
John, you'll get better pay.

319
00:20:59,737 --> 00:21:02,698
You can pick your own hours
and choose your own topics.

320
00:21:03,324 --> 00:21:04,408
Why are you hesitating?

321
00:21:04,575 --> 00:21:06,285
- I'm thinking.
- No, you're hesitating.

322
00:21:06,452 --> 00:21:08,621
I'm offering a promotion,
and you're hesitating.

323
00:21:08,788 --> 00:21:10,790
I never saw myself as a columnist.

324
00:21:10,957 --> 00:21:14,752
Oh, well, think of it as one of those times
when you surprise yourself.

325
00:21:14,919 --> 00:21:15,962
Okay.

326
00:21:16,128 --> 00:21:19,423
It's only a couple of times a week
until I get a replacement for Jerry.

327
00:21:19,590 --> 00:21:22,385
Then you can go back to doing
whatever it was you were doing.

328
00:21:22,552 --> 00:21:26,305
- What were you doing?
- Obituaries, methane leaks.

329
00:21:26,472 --> 00:21:27,974
- Are you okay with this?
- Yes.

330
00:21:28,140 --> 00:21:29,225
You don't seem thrilled.

331
00:21:29,392 --> 00:21:32,311
- No, it's a promotion.
- We can take away the raise if you like.

332
00:21:32,478 --> 00:21:34,438
No, no, I'm... Thank you.

333
00:21:34,605 --> 00:21:36,899
All right, now you're talking.
Go on, get to work.

334
00:21:37,567 --> 00:21:41,279
Marley.
I think he dislocated my shoulder.

335
00:21:41,445 --> 00:21:46,075
He doesn't even heel.
Doesn't walk, he just sprints.

336
00:21:46,659 --> 00:21:49,161
Marley. God.

337
00:21:49,328 --> 00:21:52,206
Marley, stop. Down here. Come on.

338
00:21:52,373 --> 00:21:54,584
I had to pull him off three dogs today.

339
00:21:54,750 --> 00:21:57,003
- Poodles?
- Among others.

340
00:21:57,169 --> 00:21:59,338
I say we give him away to a farm.

341
00:21:59,505 --> 00:22:03,050
Isn't that usually what you do
with dogs that are out of control?

342
00:22:03,217 --> 00:22:06,220
Well, usually you train them.

343
00:22:06,387 --> 00:22:08,890
Or you train them.
Come on, down. Come on.

344
00:22:09,056 --> 00:22:10,975
What are you doing?

345
00:22:11,976 --> 00:22:14,187
Arnie gave me a column.

346
00:22:14,353 --> 00:22:17,565
Are you kidding? Baby, that's great.

347
00:22:17,732 --> 00:22:19,025
Oh, yeah, it's a big honor.

348
00:22:19,192 --> 00:22:23,362
I get to write about zoning laws
and give my opinion on yard sales.

349
00:22:23,529 --> 00:22:26,657
Whoa, down, boy.
Easy with the enthusiasm.

350
00:22:26,824 --> 00:22:30,286
No, it's just I don't even read this crap
when other people write it.

351
00:22:30,453 --> 00:22:34,624
Now I'm supposed to, you know,
write two columns a week?

352
00:22:34,790 --> 00:22:37,251
And you've got nothing for Tuesday.

353
00:22:37,418 --> 00:22:42,423
- No, I got nothing for Tuesday.
- I bet you're gonna think of something.

354
00:22:43,591 --> 00:22:48,137
See, this gives me a little inspiration,
but it's not for a column. It's more like...

355
00:22:48,471 --> 00:22:50,806
Look at Marley.
Now he's eating the floor.

356
00:22:50,973 --> 00:22:53,059
Marley, stop.

357
00:22:53,851 --> 00:22:55,770
Marley, you're incorrigible.

358
00:22:55,937 --> 00:23:00,650
"Incorrigible. " I don't believe in that word.
Every dog wants to learn.

359
00:23:00,816 --> 00:23:02,610
Hey, come here, baby.

360
00:23:02,777 --> 00:23:07,198
Yes, you're a good girl.
You're a good girl, yes, you are.

361
00:23:07,365 --> 00:23:10,243
Of course, they can't learn
if their parents are weak-willed.

362
00:23:10,409 --> 00:23:12,828
Yeah, well,
I'm pretty strong-willed, but...

363
00:23:13,329 --> 00:23:16,332
- Marley. Sorry.
- Say hello to Marley.

364
00:23:16,499 --> 00:23:18,751
So which of you is gonna be the trainer?

365
00:23:18,918 --> 00:23:21,879
We both thought we would.
We'd like him to listen to both of us.

366
00:23:22,046 --> 00:23:23,214
We're married, so yeah.

367
00:23:23,381 --> 00:23:26,259
No, no, no.
A dog can only have one master.

368
00:23:26,425 --> 00:23:28,928
Which one of you
has the most natural authority...

369
00:23:29,095 --> 00:23:30,596
...in your own relationship?

370
00:23:31,973 --> 00:23:34,392
Well, maybe I'll stand over there
for the beginning.

371
00:23:34,559 --> 00:23:36,561
I thought so. Shall we?

372
00:23:38,896 --> 00:23:41,941
Jeez.
- All right. Sit.

373
00:23:42,108 --> 00:23:43,192
Sit.
Sit.

374
00:23:43,359 --> 00:23:44,402
Sit... Oof.

375
00:23:45,570 --> 00:23:48,906
Sit. Marley. Okay, Marley. Marley, sit.

376
00:23:49,073 --> 00:23:52,243
This, class, is a classic example...

377
00:23:52,410 --> 00:23:55,955
...of a dog who has foolishly
been allowed to believe...

378
00:23:56,122 --> 00:23:59,625
...he is the alpha male of the pack.

379
00:23:59,792 --> 00:24:02,712
And therefore,
he can never be a happy animal.

380
00:24:02,879 --> 00:24:05,214
Yeah, he looks pretty miserable.

381
00:24:05,631 --> 00:24:07,925
You, joker.

382
00:24:08,426 --> 00:24:11,637
Rotate in. And lose the sunglasses.

383
00:24:11,804 --> 00:24:13,723
A dog likes to be looked at in the eye.

384
00:24:15,725 --> 00:24:16,976
- I got it. Okay.
- Okay.

385
00:24:17,143 --> 00:24:18,644
- You got him? Okay.
- Yep.

386
00:24:18,811 --> 00:24:20,980
So collar your dogs.

387
00:24:23,608 --> 00:24:24,942
Good boy.

388
00:24:26,611 --> 00:24:30,990
All right, dogs on the left.
On the count of three.

389
00:24:31,157 --> 00:24:34,118
One, two, three. Let's go.

390
00:24:34,702 --> 00:24:35,745
Walk. Walk.

391
00:24:35,912 --> 00:24:36,996
Very nice.
Heel.

392
00:24:37,580 --> 00:24:39,832
- Go.
Very good.

393
00:24:40,583 --> 00:24:42,460
Good.

394
00:24:42,835 --> 00:24:46,756
Hey.
Correct him. Rein in that dog.

395
00:24:46,923 --> 00:24:50,927
All right. All right, class.
Come on, let's line up again.

396
00:24:51,636 --> 00:24:56,641
Class, it's a simple question of
having confidence in your own authority.

397
00:24:56,807 --> 00:25:01,145
I shall now demonstrate a simple walk,
all right?

398
00:25:01,562 --> 00:25:03,564
Come here.
Mr. Grogan.

399
00:25:03,731 --> 00:25:05,942
- Sorry.
- May I?

400
00:25:06,108 --> 00:25:11,030
All right, even an unruly dog
likes to obey his leader.

401
00:25:11,697 --> 00:25:14,992
Marley, heel.

402
00:25:17,203 --> 00:25:18,663
There.

403
00:25:18,829 --> 00:25:24,210
Marley. Marley. Marley! Marley!

404
00:25:26,379 --> 00:25:28,297
Marley.

405
00:25:35,638 --> 00:25:37,181
Careful. Marley, no! Marley!

406
00:25:44,021 --> 00:25:46,691
- Are you okay?
- That's it. He is out.

407
00:25:46,858 --> 00:25:51,904
- He usually only does this with poodles.
- That dog is a bad influence on the others.

408
00:25:52,905 --> 00:25:55,825
No. Leg humping is like a virus.

409
00:25:55,992 --> 00:25:58,661
Once it takes hold of the group... No.

410
00:25:58,828 --> 00:26:01,205
Okay.
- He has got to go.

411
00:26:01,831 --> 00:26:04,250
It was maybe your hair.

412
00:26:04,417 --> 00:26:05,751
It reminded him of a poodle.

413
00:26:05,918 --> 00:26:09,088
- Never bring him back.
- Okay.

414
00:26:09,463 --> 00:26:11,799
Right from the beginning,
she had me in her sights.

415
00:26:11,966 --> 00:26:14,886
- I know, she really did.
- Marley wouldn't take any of her crap.

416
00:26:15,052 --> 00:26:20,224
That's why he got kicked out.
You are now the world's worst dog.

417
00:26:20,391 --> 00:26:22,435
You've been kicked out
of obedience school.

418
00:26:22,602 --> 00:26:25,438
You know,
there is something else that we could do.

419
00:26:25,605 --> 00:26:28,608
No, I know, we just... We get an...

420
00:26:30,109 --> 00:26:32,653
No, no, no.

421
00:26:32,820 --> 00:26:35,281
I'm smiling, but I'm serious. No.

422
00:26:36,908 --> 00:26:41,871
It's not gonna be so bad, buddy.
You'll see. Sex is overrated.

423
00:26:43,331 --> 00:26:47,126
I can't tell you that,
because you know it's a lie.

424
00:26:47,293 --> 00:26:49,212
Poor son of a bitch.

425
00:26:49,378 --> 00:26:52,965
Okay, you wanna come up?
Yeah, that's the least I can do.

426
00:26:53,633 --> 00:26:55,259
- Get a little fresh air.
- Marley.

427
00:26:56,010 --> 00:26:59,222
Oh, gosh,
it's like he's walking the plank.

428
00:26:59,388 --> 00:27:01,349
That's what breaks my heart.
He's so happy.

429
00:27:01,516 --> 00:27:04,810
- He doesn't know what's coming.
- Honey, he's gonna be fine.

430
00:27:05,561 --> 00:27:09,815
- Oh, no, no, now I'm getting nervous.
- He's okay. He's just getting a little air.

431
00:27:14,403 --> 00:27:15,947
It's like Of Mice and Men.

432
00:27:16,989 --> 00:27:19,492
- Whoa, Marley.
- Oh! John, please, grab him.

433
00:27:21,118 --> 00:27:23,162
- Oh, my God.
- He's making a break for it.

434
00:27:23,329 --> 00:27:25,915
- Marley!
- He's onto our evil plan.

435
00:27:26,082 --> 00:27:28,167
- Pull over.
- I can't stop here. I can't.

436
00:27:28,334 --> 00:27:32,296
- Honey, pull over.
- I'm trying to. There's a ton of traffic.

437
00:27:35,633 --> 00:27:38,427
- Come on, pull over.
- All right, all right, all right.

438
00:27:40,263 --> 00:27:41,430
Oh, jeez.

439
00:27:41,597 --> 00:27:43,808
- I need a little help here.
- I know.

440
00:27:43,975 --> 00:27:45,434
- Hey. Get a leash.
Oh, shut up.

441
00:27:45,601 --> 00:27:49,480
Hey, he's losing his balls today.
Cut him some slack.

442
00:27:49,647 --> 00:27:51,607
- Got him? Careful, careful.
- I got him.

443
00:27:57,864 --> 00:28:02,034
And this is a rough draft because I want...
I'd like to take another pass at it.

444
00:28:05,538 --> 00:28:07,373
The beginning, I think I might wanna...

445
00:28:07,540 --> 00:28:11,294
I think we can maybe lose that
because I think it gets a little bit jokey.

446
00:28:13,129 --> 00:28:15,381
I just reread it.
I didn't think it worked at all.

447
00:28:15,548 --> 00:28:18,217
- I'm sorry. I'm gonna do the zoning piece.
- Wait a minute.

448
00:28:18,384 --> 00:28:21,554
What are you apologizing for?
This stuff is hysterical.

449
00:28:21,721 --> 00:28:24,182
- Really?
- I'm laughing my head off at this.

450
00:28:24,640 --> 00:28:28,436
Getting kicked out of obedience school,
the humping, the great escape.

451
00:28:28,603 --> 00:28:31,480
That's really funny stuff.
I'm laughing my ass off.

452
00:28:31,647 --> 00:28:35,401
It's hysterical stuff. Run it the way it is.

453
00:28:37,695 --> 00:28:39,530
Thanks.

454
00:28:39,697 --> 00:28:42,700
Listen, you know what makes it work?

455
00:28:42,867 --> 00:28:45,244
What makes it work
is that you put yourself into it.

456
00:28:45,411 --> 00:28:47,038
- I like that.
- Good.

457
00:28:47,205 --> 00:28:49,081
Look, I know you're a reporter and all...

458
00:28:49,248 --> 00:28:51,417
...but could you do a few more like this?

459
00:28:51,584 --> 00:28:52,919
- Sure.
- Great.

460
00:28:53,085 --> 00:28:56,547
- Okay, great.
- And tell your dog not to feel too bad.

461
00:28:56,714 --> 00:28:59,675
Sooner or later, we all lose our balls.

462
00:28:59,842 --> 00:29:02,136
Right. Good to know.

463
00:29:23,783 --> 00:29:27,119
Woke up to a kiss from Marley.
Went for a walk that turned into a run.

464
00:29:27,286 --> 00:29:30,206
Took an airboat ride.
Wrote about the death of the Everglades.

465
00:29:30,373 --> 00:29:33,459
Planted an orange tree in the backyard.
Threw sticks in the park.

466
00:29:33,626 --> 00:29:34,710
Watched him swim.

467
00:29:34,877 --> 00:29:38,798
Watched him steal some guy's Frisbee.
Bought new Frisbee. Gave Marley a bath.

468
00:29:38,965 --> 00:29:42,552
Went to work with writer's block.
Hoped for inspiration to strike, nada.

469
00:29:42,718 --> 00:29:46,055
Got a new shirt. Got a new keyboard.
Got the same old paycheck.

470
00:29:46,222 --> 00:29:48,975
Went windsurfing with Sebastian.
Met his new girlfriend.

471
00:29:49,141 --> 00:29:50,601
Met his other new girlfriend.

472
00:29:50,768 --> 00:29:54,313
Watched models posing in the surf.
Wrote about the growth of South Beach.

473
00:29:54,480 --> 00:29:57,275
Interviewed Gloria and Emilio Estefan
at the Cardozo Hotel.

474
00:29:57,441 --> 00:29:59,485
Introduced Jenny,
who gushed like a teenager.

475
00:29:59,652 --> 00:30:02,154
Went shopping.
Bought a Sharper Image pillow.

476
00:30:02,321 --> 00:30:06,158
Slept like a baby. Caught Marley eating
the pillow. Hid the evidence from Jenny.

477
00:30:06,325 --> 00:30:08,786
Cleaned up Marley's vomit.
Helped Jenny make dinner.

478
00:30:08,953 --> 00:30:11,247
Overcooked the spaghetti.
Got into a food fight.

479
00:30:11,414 --> 00:30:14,166
Proofread Jenny's column.
Read Sebastian's latest opus.

480
00:30:14,333 --> 00:30:16,586
Went running with Marley
to burn off frustration.

481
00:30:16,752 --> 00:30:19,338
Didn't see him chew the leash.
Chased him 15 blocks.

482
00:30:19,505 --> 00:30:21,132
Had to call Jenny for a ride.

483
00:30:21,299 --> 00:30:24,260
Wrote a column about gas prices.
Wrote about water prices.

484
00:30:24,427 --> 00:30:27,680
Found one tiny orange on our tree.
Jenny very pleased with herself.

485
00:30:27,847 --> 00:30:31,475
Found my first gray hair. Found
Jenny's first. Bought Jenny flowers.

486
00:30:31,642 --> 00:30:35,021
Rescued our new mailman from Marley.
Rescued the UPS guy from Marley.

487
00:30:35,188 --> 00:30:36,355
Invited my parents.

488
00:30:36,522 --> 00:30:40,193
Took them out to dinner at a cool place.
Got in a fight with Dad over the check.

489
00:30:40,359 --> 00:30:43,529
Got in a fight about money.
Got in a fight with Jenny about fighting.

490
00:30:43,696 --> 00:30:47,158
Drove my parents. Listened to them
complain about not having grandchildren.

491
00:30:47,325 --> 00:30:49,202
Tracked a hurricane heading for Florida.

492
00:30:49,368 --> 00:30:52,705
Hid in the bathroom during the hurricane.
Sat in the dark for three days.

493
00:30:52,872 --> 00:30:55,708
Wrote a column about looters.
Wrote about volunteers.

494
00:30:55,875 --> 00:30:59,503
Wrote about air conditioning.
Watched Marley dig for treasure.

495
00:30:59,670 --> 00:31:02,256
Spent Christmas with Jen's sister
and family in Orlando.

496
00:31:02,423 --> 00:31:04,717
Left Marley at their house
to go to Disney World.

497
00:31:04,884 --> 00:31:06,636
Had to buy them new baby furniture.

498
00:31:06,802 --> 00:31:09,847
Saw Jen light up around the girls.
Got a flat driving home.

499
00:31:10,014 --> 00:31:12,850
Wrote a column about state troopers.
Wrote about tollbooths.

500
00:31:13,017 --> 00:31:16,687
Went to dinner to celebrate Jenny's raise.
Tied Marley to the table.

501
00:31:19,273 --> 00:31:20,399
Marley, come here.

502
00:31:20,566 --> 00:31:21,984
Chased Marley and the table.

503
00:31:22,151 --> 00:31:25,029
Caught the table.
Wrote about Marley pulling the table.

504
00:31:25,196 --> 00:31:28,241
Tried to write a column
about anything but Marley, nada.

505
00:31:28,407 --> 00:31:30,701
Picked oranges from our tree.
Made orange juice.

506
00:31:30,868 --> 00:31:34,205
Drove down to Miami for Bark
in the Park night at the Marlins game.

507
00:31:34,372 --> 00:31:36,415
Brought Marley,
who turned out to be a fan.

508
00:31:36,582 --> 00:31:38,918
Tried to stop him chasing a ball
in the stands.

509
00:31:39,085 --> 00:31:42,505
Tried to stop him chasing a ball
on the field. Wrote about the ball game.

510
00:31:42,672 --> 00:31:45,383
Took crap from Sebastian about it.
Met his new girlfriend.

511
00:31:45,550 --> 00:31:48,678
Can't remember her name.
Went snorkeling. Cut my leg on coral.

512
00:31:48,845 --> 00:31:51,597
Went to the emergency room.
Wrote a column about hospitals.

513
00:31:51,764 --> 00:31:54,433
Went to an Easter-egg hunt
at Jenny's boss's in Boca.

514
00:31:54,600 --> 00:31:58,062
Drank mimosas. Met a doctor
who does three liposuctions a day.

515
00:31:58,229 --> 00:32:01,858
Wrote a column about nannies in Boca.
Wrote a column about women of Boca.

516
00:32:02,608 --> 00:32:04,402
Wrote a column about writing columns.

517
00:32:04,777 --> 00:32:07,113
Came home to find Jenny dancing
with Marley.

518
00:32:10,783 --> 00:32:14,161
Tried to think of reasons
not to have a baby now...

519
00:32:14,328 --> 00:32:15,997
...nada.

520
00:32:18,916 --> 00:32:20,793
Why don't you just let him off the leash?

521
00:32:20,960 --> 00:32:24,213
Because although I love him,
I don't trust him.

522
00:32:24,380 --> 00:32:26,591
It's been two years.
He's never had an accident.

523
00:32:26,757 --> 00:32:28,342
Because I never let him off leash.

524
00:32:28,509 --> 00:32:32,430
We're not gonna be the guys who get
Dog Beach shut down, are we, Marley?

525
00:32:32,597 --> 00:32:33,723
Nope.

526
00:32:34,640 --> 00:32:37,226
Okay, so, what's next?

527
00:32:37,393 --> 00:32:38,853
Um...

528
00:32:39,020 --> 00:32:41,314
- Ice cream?
- No, I mean on your list.

529
00:32:41,480 --> 00:32:42,940
- My list?
- Jen, the list.

530
00:32:43,107 --> 00:32:46,152
Your play list you had when
we got married that had the game plan.

531
00:32:46,319 --> 00:32:48,529
- It was basically my marching orders.
- My plan?

532
00:32:48,696 --> 00:32:52,491
Your plan. I wanna know what's next.
Scare me.

533
00:32:52,658 --> 00:32:55,077
You really wanna know?
- Hit me.

534
00:32:55,244 --> 00:32:58,456
Well, it's a tossup between a new roof...

535
00:32:58,623 --> 00:32:59,749
Very practical.

536
00:33:00,499 --> 00:33:01,751
- And, uh...

537
00:33:01,918 --> 00:33:03,753
And a baby.

538
00:33:11,511 --> 00:33:14,013
I could live with a few leaks.

539
00:33:14,514 --> 00:33:17,016
- Really?
- Yeah, a couple.

540
00:33:17,183 --> 00:33:19,852
But you know, a couple leaks
turn into maybe one big leak.

541
00:33:20,019 --> 00:33:22,980
And then that big leak
becomes a very big responsibility.

542
00:33:23,147 --> 00:33:24,190
That's true.

543
00:33:24,357 --> 00:33:27,360
We may wanna think about
fixing a lot of things before we start...

544
00:33:27,527 --> 00:33:28,903
Well, we already fixed Marley.

545
00:33:29,070 --> 00:33:32,532
If we fix too many more things,
I think this conversation becomes moot.

546
00:33:32,698 --> 00:33:35,326
John, are you serious?

547
00:33:35,493 --> 00:33:37,870
Yeah. I think so.

548
00:33:38,037 --> 00:33:40,498
You realize we're not talking
about an actual roof?

549
00:33:40,665 --> 00:33:43,668
Yes, I got that.
About halfway through, I picked it up.

550
00:33:43,834 --> 00:33:44,961
Good metaphor, though.

551
00:33:45,127 --> 00:33:48,047
You're not just saying this
because it'll lead to funny columns?

552
00:33:48,214 --> 00:33:51,467
Well, I mean, honey, come on.
I mean, if I get some funny columns...

553
00:33:51,634 --> 00:33:54,220
...that's collateral damage
I think we can live with.

554
00:33:54,387 --> 00:33:57,390
I mean, I'm ready. I mean, if you are.

555
00:33:58,099 --> 00:33:59,725
Instead of trying to have a baby...

556
00:33:59,892 --> 00:34:04,063
...why don't we just stop
trying not to have one?

557
00:34:04,230 --> 00:34:06,941
Okay, if I'm following you correctly,
and I think I am...

558
00:34:07,108 --> 00:34:10,486
...this is the part where we head back,
we take it off, and we get it on.

559
00:34:10,653 --> 00:34:13,447
Yes, but you'll...
It'll have a little more romance than that.

560
00:34:13,614 --> 00:34:15,950
Yeah, we'll get some candles, some Sade.
Of course.

561
00:34:16,117 --> 00:34:17,577
- Come on.
- Sade.

562
00:34:23,624 --> 00:34:24,667
- Honey?
- Yeah.

563
00:34:24,834 --> 00:34:27,128
Did you have kibble today?

564
00:34:27,295 --> 00:34:29,297
Marley, come on. Marley, go.

565
00:34:29,463 --> 00:34:31,591
He's a dog.
He won't know what he's looking at.

566
00:34:31,757 --> 00:34:34,260
Trust me, he knows,
and he resents the hell out of me.

567
00:34:34,427 --> 00:34:36,971
- Go on, Marley. You have to go.
- Oh, baby, please focus.

568
00:34:37,138 --> 00:34:38,973
Okay, you're right.

569
00:34:44,228 --> 00:34:47,523
Good. Good.
It's even better than the last one.

570
00:34:47,690 --> 00:34:49,692
- Thank you.
- You're very good, Gorgan.

571
00:34:50,318 --> 00:34:53,571
I like that piece you did in Boca
on the woman. What did you call her?

572
00:34:53,738 --> 00:34:55,281
- Bocahontas.
- Bocahontas.

573
00:34:55,448 --> 00:34:57,658
Is that true?
She had her boobs done four times?

574
00:34:57,825 --> 00:35:00,119
- That's what she said.
- Hysterical.

575
00:35:00,286 --> 00:35:03,122
And is that true about you and your wife
trying to have a kid?

576
00:35:03,289 --> 00:35:06,542
Well, you know, we're not really trying,
because we don't wanna...

577
00:35:06,709 --> 00:35:08,461
- How does that work?
- What do you mean?

578
00:35:08,628 --> 00:35:10,755
- Well, I mean, are you having sex?
- Yeah.

579
00:35:10,922 --> 00:35:13,007
- Did you pull the goalie?
- Yeah.

580
00:35:13,174 --> 00:35:16,969
Then you're trying. Congratulations.
Good work.

581
00:35:17,470 --> 00:35:19,847
You're not "trying" trying.
- Oh, yeah.

582
00:35:20,014 --> 00:35:22,475
Of course, you'd know that
if you ever read my column.

583
00:35:22,642 --> 00:35:25,645
All due respect,
but does anybody ever read your column?

584
00:35:25,811 --> 00:35:29,357
Come on, I bring Marley here to help you
run your game on these poor girls...

585
00:35:29,524 --> 00:35:31,067
...and this is the thanks we get.

586
00:35:31,484 --> 00:35:34,195
- How long you been at it?
- A few months.

587
00:35:34,362 --> 00:35:37,114
- What changed your mind?
- Well, here's the thing.

588
00:35:37,281 --> 00:35:42,495
I'm actually married to someone,
and I care about what she wants.

589
00:35:42,662 --> 00:35:45,998
- Well, is it what you want?
- Yeah.

590
00:35:46,499 --> 00:35:50,503
- I guess that answers my other question.
- Yeah?

591
00:35:50,670 --> 00:35:54,507
I'm about to do a piece on the growth
of the domestic drug trade for The Times.

592
00:35:54,674 --> 00:35:56,592
You're freelancing
for The New York Times?

593
00:35:56,759 --> 00:36:00,388
Yeah, yeah, but it's a big story,
too big for one guy...

594
00:36:00,555 --> 00:36:02,974
...and I was hoping you'd write it
with me.

595
00:36:04,517 --> 00:36:06,519
Are you kidding me?

596
00:36:06,686 --> 00:36:09,856
- It would be a chance to work together.
- Yeah, I would love that.

597
00:36:10,022 --> 00:36:12,733
Of course, it will be a lot of work,
a lot of travel.

598
00:36:12,900 --> 00:36:14,694
I would hope so.

599
00:36:14,861 --> 00:36:18,322
Maybe not the best job for,
uh, somebody with a kid on the way.

600
00:36:19,365 --> 00:36:23,494
Well, that's not necessarily happening
right this very second. Let me talk it ov...

601
00:36:25,246 --> 00:36:26,497
There she is.

602
00:36:27,164 --> 00:36:29,709
- Honey, how are you?
Hi.

603
00:36:29,876 --> 00:36:33,671
I'm just calling to let you know
that there is a naked woman in your bed.

604
00:36:33,838 --> 00:36:37,425
Why don't the two of you get started,
and I'll be there as soon as I can?

605
00:36:37,592 --> 00:36:42,346
Oh, ha. That's very funny.
But seriously, can you come home now?

606
00:36:45,808 --> 00:36:48,936
Hey. We're home.

607
00:36:49,103 --> 00:36:50,980
Hi.

608
00:36:52,023 --> 00:36:53,107
You know the baby thing?

609
00:36:53,274 --> 00:36:55,985
I've been thinking
maybe we should take a break.

610
00:36:57,904 --> 00:36:59,238
You know?

611
00:36:59,405 --> 00:37:01,157
I mean, obviously it's not working...

612
00:37:01,324 --> 00:37:05,745
...and maybe it's nature's way
of saying now's not the right timing.

613
00:37:07,872 --> 00:37:11,584
I mean, maybe it's a sign
that we're not quite ready for this, that...

614
00:37:11,751 --> 00:37:14,754
- I mean, have we really thought this...?
- John.

615
00:37:15,171 --> 00:37:16,214
I'm pregnant.

616
00:37:18,508 --> 00:37:20,259
- Great.
- Mm-hm.

617
00:37:20,426 --> 00:37:21,969
Wow.

618
00:37:22,136 --> 00:37:24,263
- Great. Really?
- Yeah.

619
00:37:24,430 --> 00:37:26,349
- Yes.
- You were just saying...?

620
00:37:26,516 --> 00:37:30,102
No, don't worry, that was like...
It sounds so awkward now.

621
00:37:30,269 --> 00:37:35,149
Like I just had this, like, very, you know,
idiotic soliloquy that doesn't apply...

622
00:37:35,316 --> 00:37:37,193
...and I'm really excited.

623
00:37:37,360 --> 00:37:39,570
- Do you wanna start over?
- I would love to.

624
00:37:39,737 --> 00:37:42,073
- That would be great. Can we? Good.
- By all means.

625
00:37:46,369 --> 00:37:49,747
- I'm pregnant.
- What? No! Yes!

626
00:37:52,542 --> 00:37:55,378
- Don't make the same mistake I did.
- What?

627
00:37:55,545 --> 00:37:59,590
There's gonna come a time very soon
where her ankles are gonna swell up.

628
00:37:59,757 --> 00:38:01,008
No, no, I'm ready for that.

629
00:38:01,175 --> 00:38:03,177
She's gonna have blotches
all over her face.

630
00:38:03,344 --> 00:38:05,137
- Yeah.
- She'll be 40 pounds overweight.

631
00:38:05,304 --> 00:38:08,099
- She'll be throwing up all the time.
- I'm not ready for that.

632
00:38:08,266 --> 00:38:12,353
She's gonna look at you and say,
"You bastard. You did this to me. "

633
00:38:12,520 --> 00:38:15,189
What happened to the glow,
the, you know, the...?

634
00:38:15,356 --> 00:38:16,816
There's no glow.

635
00:38:16,983 --> 00:38:20,236
Get her a gift.
That will dissipate some of the anger.

636
00:38:20,403 --> 00:38:22,154
Some earrings, a bracelet.

637
00:38:22,321 --> 00:38:25,992
That's thoughtful. That's a good idea.
In fact, maybe I'll get on it right now.

638
00:38:26,158 --> 00:38:29,120
There's a jewelry store on the corner.
Mention my name.

639
00:38:31,664 --> 00:38:33,833
Oh, John.

640
00:38:34,667 --> 00:38:36,502
It's just beautiful.

641
00:38:36,669 --> 00:38:39,672
It's just beautiful.

642
00:38:39,839 --> 00:38:41,924
- Honey, thank you.
- You're welcome.

643
00:38:42,091 --> 00:38:44,218
I was just walking by
just thinking of you...

644
00:38:44,385 --> 00:38:47,180
...and I saw that in the window and I go,
"I'm getting this. "

645
00:38:47,346 --> 00:38:50,266
- That's so sweet.
- Yeah, well...

646
00:38:50,433 --> 00:38:51,684
- Do you like it?
- I love it.

647
00:38:51,851 --> 00:38:54,604
Put it on. Or let me put it on.
I think it's better luck.

648
00:38:54,770 --> 00:38:58,691
- Where'd it go? I just had it.
- You just set it down. Did you drop it?

649
00:38:58,858 --> 00:39:02,028
- No, I put it right here.
- Well, it didn't just disappear.

650
00:39:02,195 --> 00:39:04,030
Oh, God.

651
00:39:06,699 --> 00:39:10,453
- Marley. No, Marley, spit it out.
- No, go to the kitchen, go to the kitchen.

652
00:39:10,620 --> 00:39:15,333
Okay. No, no, no.
Marley, I have a treat. Come here.

653
00:39:16,459 --> 00:39:19,545
Stay. Marley, stay.

654
00:39:19,712 --> 00:39:22,632
Good boy. Yeah.

655
00:39:27,595 --> 00:39:29,222
Marley!
Good going, honey.

656
00:39:31,933 --> 00:39:33,559
Marley.

657
00:39:34,727 --> 00:39:36,229
Come here, Marley.

658
00:39:38,648 --> 00:39:39,732
Jeez.

659
00:39:43,444 --> 00:39:45,363
- Okay, okay. Marley, drop it.
Marley.

660
00:39:45,530 --> 00:39:47,865
Gross. Is it there?
Marley.

661
00:39:48,032 --> 00:39:49,992
Oh, honey, I don't see it.

662
00:39:53,579 --> 00:39:56,249
Marley, you've gotta lay off
the mangoes.

663
00:39:57,291 --> 00:40:00,378
You know, years ago,
when I imagined my life...

664
00:40:00,545 --> 00:40:03,548
...somehow standing in the backyard
hosing down your crap...

665
00:40:03,714 --> 00:40:08,094
...looking for my wife's swallowed,
recycled, ass-kissing gift...

666
00:40:08,261 --> 00:40:09,971
...never jumped to mind.

667
00:40:10,137 --> 00:40:13,933
Which shows you've gotta dream big
because... Ooh, jackpot.

668
00:40:14,267 --> 00:40:18,938
My, that's a lovely necklace.
It's so shiny.

669
00:40:19,105 --> 00:40:23,276
- Yes, it is.
- And how's that crazy dog of yours?

670
00:40:23,442 --> 00:40:26,362
- I read your columns every week.
Oh.

671
00:40:26,529 --> 00:40:28,739
- So you're the one.
I am.

672
00:40:28,906 --> 00:40:30,908
You'll get a kick
out of next week's column.

673
00:40:31,075 --> 00:40:33,494
The heartbeat will be very fast,
like a little train.

674
00:40:33,661 --> 00:40:36,455
- That's normal.
- Is it too early to tell the sex?

675
00:40:36,622 --> 00:40:38,291
I... Not that I care.

676
00:40:38,457 --> 00:40:41,919
It can be male, female,
whatever sex he wants.

677
00:40:42,503 --> 00:40:45,756
Unambiguous genitalia
if I had my druthers, but...

678
00:40:45,923 --> 00:40:48,009
Shh. Hang on.

679
00:40:50,386 --> 00:40:52,180
Sometimes you can't hear it.

680
00:40:52,346 --> 00:40:54,974
- You're 10 weeks, right?
- Monday I'll be 10 weeks.

681
00:40:55,141 --> 00:40:59,478
Hmm, well, it might be a little too early
for that. Let's go right to the sonogram.

682
00:40:59,645 --> 00:41:01,147
Did you bring your blank tape?

683
00:41:01,314 --> 00:41:03,733
- Oh, yes.
- Yes, yes.

684
00:41:04,609 --> 00:41:06,235
- That's warm.
Mm-hm.

685
00:41:06,402 --> 00:41:08,738
- Let's get a good picture for you first.
Okay.

686
00:41:08,905 --> 00:41:11,490
It'll be right up on the monitor here.

687
00:41:18,748 --> 00:41:21,292
Excuse me. I'll be just a minute.

688
00:41:32,553 --> 00:41:34,430
- Hey, guys.
Hi.

689
00:41:34,597 --> 00:41:37,433
Let's take a look at your baby, shall we?

690
00:41:39,810 --> 00:41:41,437
All right.

691
00:41:48,694 --> 00:41:50,279
Is there anything in there?

692
00:41:53,824 --> 00:41:56,118
Not what you would expect to see
at 10 weeks.

693
00:41:56,285 --> 00:41:59,622
- I'm not quite 10 weeks.
Monday.

694
00:41:59,789 --> 00:42:02,917
- It's still, I guess, nine weeks.
Yeah, nine weeks.

695
00:42:05,127 --> 00:42:07,213
There's no heartbeat, Jen.

696
00:42:09,090 --> 00:42:11,300
I'm very, very sorry.

697
00:42:11,843 --> 00:42:14,720
These things, they happen sometimes.
We don't know why, though.

698
00:42:15,721 --> 00:42:19,392
But you're young, you have your health.
Couple months, you guys can try again.

699
00:42:20,601 --> 00:42:23,271
I'm sorry. All right?

700
00:42:23,437 --> 00:42:26,524
I'm gonna leave you alone for a moment,
and then we'll talk more.

701
00:42:26,691 --> 00:42:28,651
I'm very sorry.

702
00:42:49,630 --> 00:42:52,925
Well, in a couple months,
we can try again, okay?

703
00:43:18,075 --> 00:43:20,119
Want some tea?

704
00:43:23,456 --> 00:43:26,250
Hey, you know what?
I was thinking that we, um...

705
00:43:27,126 --> 00:43:29,295
We still have those tickets
from your parents...

706
00:43:29,462 --> 00:43:31,923
...for the honeymoon in Ireland.

707
00:43:32,298 --> 00:43:36,385
We could finally do that.
Maybe take some time off.

708
00:43:37,929 --> 00:43:39,430
Jenny?

709
00:44:23,850 --> 00:44:27,353
- Oh, he's big.
- Oh, yeah, he's a hundred pounds.

710
00:44:27,520 --> 00:44:30,439
- Now, he just wants to say hello here.
- Yeah, he loves people.

711
00:44:30,606 --> 00:44:34,485
Now, just be calm, and you just stay
still. And you're a dog person, right?

712
00:44:34,986 --> 00:44:36,779
- Actually, I'm...
- Ready? Here we go.

713
00:44:36,946 --> 00:44:40,157
Marley, you can say hello. Oh, no, no, no.
No, don't let him do that.

714
00:44:40,324 --> 00:44:41,951
You just knee him if he does that.

715
00:44:42,118 --> 00:44:45,371
It shouldn't happen all the time,
just when you walk through the door.

716
00:44:45,538 --> 00:44:47,665
This will tell you everything
you need to know.

717
00:44:47,832 --> 00:44:51,043
- I've got the bags here.
- You got everything? Okay. Thank you.

718
00:44:51,210 --> 00:44:53,963
- All right. Come on, honey.
- Will you get the door?

719
00:44:54,130 --> 00:44:57,008
- Okay, here we are.
Come on, honey, we're really late.

720
00:44:57,592 --> 00:44:59,468
Debby, welcome to our home.

721
00:44:59,635 --> 00:45:02,889
Marley is a spirited dog
who loves interaction.

722
00:45:03,055 --> 00:45:04,473
We've never left him before...

723
00:45:04,640 --> 00:45:08,769
...but we are sure he'll behave
just as he does when we're at home.

724
00:45:11,063 --> 00:45:14,358
There are just a few things about Marley
you're gonna need to know.

725
00:45:14,525 --> 00:45:17,028
He eats three times a day.

726
00:45:17,612 --> 00:45:20,072
If he looks starved, feed him again.

727
00:45:21,657 --> 00:45:24,660
Now, of course, all of this food
is gonna have to go somewhere...

728
00:45:24,827 --> 00:45:28,664
...so use the blue pooper-scooper
and watch your step.

729
00:45:28,831 --> 00:45:31,542
Don't worry about the color.
He likes mangoes.

730
00:45:31,709 --> 00:45:34,462
Marley is not allowed
to drink out of the toilet...

731
00:45:34,629 --> 00:45:38,925
...so be sure to keep the lid closed
and the brick on the lid.

732
00:45:39,091 --> 00:45:42,345
Actually, you might wanna just
keep the bathroom door shut in general.

733
00:45:42,512 --> 00:45:45,431
Like most dogs,
Marley needs a lot of exercise...

734
00:45:45,598 --> 00:45:49,894
...so try to take him for a walk or a run
every morning and every evening.

735
00:45:50,061 --> 00:45:52,021
Marley.

736
00:45:52,188 --> 00:45:54,941
Let go, let go, let go. Marley!

737
00:45:55,107 --> 00:45:58,319
And be sure to lock the doors
and windows before you go to sleep.

738
00:45:58,528 --> 00:45:59,820
Shoo. Shoo.

739
00:45:59,987 --> 00:46:02,365
But don't worry,
Marley is an excellent watchdog.

740
00:46:03,783 --> 00:46:07,245
You can rest easy at night
knowing he's on the job.

741
00:46:07,411 --> 00:46:09,539
Thunderstorms are his weak point.

742
00:46:09,705 --> 00:46:12,458
You can give him sedatives
if you think a storm is arriving.

743
00:46:12,625 --> 00:46:15,920
Okay. Here you go.
Marley. Marley, come back here.

744
00:46:16,087 --> 00:46:17,129
He doesn't like them...

745
00:46:17,296 --> 00:46:19,590
...so push them down his throat
as far as they go.

746
00:46:19,966 --> 00:46:22,885
Welcome, welcome. I'm Mrs. Butterly.

747
00:46:23,052 --> 00:46:27,306
Now, finally, we do not allow Marley
to get up on any piece of furniture...

748
00:46:27,473 --> 00:46:30,518
...or chew on anything except his toys.

749
00:46:31,143 --> 00:46:35,106
Other than that, enjoy him.
Love, Jenny and John.

750
00:46:36,232 --> 00:46:39,902
We serve tea every day at 4
and dinner at 6 sharp.

751
00:46:40,319 --> 00:46:44,115
Oh, and these blankets are woolen.
Good heat in them.

752
00:46:44,282 --> 00:46:47,410
- So they're electric?
- Oh, not in this house.

753
00:46:47,577 --> 00:46:50,997
My brother died in a fire,
God rest his soul.

754
00:46:51,664 --> 00:46:53,749
In this room, actually.

755
00:46:54,500 --> 00:46:57,879
Oh, not to worry. It's been repapered.

756
00:46:58,045 --> 00:47:01,757
Well, good night to you both,
and God bless you.

757
00:47:01,924 --> 00:47:04,760
Thank you. You... Bless you.

758
00:47:08,764 --> 00:47:10,349
That was just weird.

759
00:47:14,979 --> 00:47:16,522
Oh, gosh.

760
00:47:16,981 --> 00:47:22,195
Honey, I know that we haven't had sex
since, you know...

761
00:47:22,695 --> 00:47:25,281
...but I don't think
we're breaking that streak tonight.

762
00:47:25,448 --> 00:47:29,660
No, I don't wanna break the streak here.
This doesn't feel...

763
00:47:29,827 --> 00:47:36,000
I mean, I think I could, you know,
handle God watching and his mother...

764
00:47:36,167 --> 00:47:40,046
...but not this little porcelain pontiff
right here.

765
00:47:40,463 --> 00:47:43,549
It's July and I think I can see my breath.

766
00:47:43,716 --> 00:47:46,511
- Honey, I can't feel my toes.
- That's not good.

767
00:47:46,677 --> 00:47:50,431
I'm gonna check on that.

768
00:47:52,517 --> 00:47:54,560
- Oh, good God. Shush.
- That's not the bed.

769
00:47:54,727 --> 00:47:59,232
It's the shrieks
of oversexed souls in hell.

770
00:48:01,442 --> 00:48:03,819
Do you wanna join them?

771
00:48:05,446 --> 00:48:07,156
Really?

772
00:48:07,698 --> 00:48:09,158
Mm-hm.

773
00:48:09,700 --> 00:48:11,786
We don't have to.

774
00:48:11,953 --> 00:48:16,457
I know, but the idea that it hasn't
happened here in 50 years is just...

775
00:48:16,624 --> 00:48:18,751
It's kind of turning me on.

776
00:48:23,130 --> 00:48:25,508
Honey, I missed you.

777
00:48:51,784 --> 00:48:54,662
Marley. Hi, honey.
- Marley.

778
00:48:54,829 --> 00:48:57,707
- Oh, come here. Oh, my God.
- Hi. We missed you so much.

779
00:48:57,874 --> 00:48:59,125
Hey, Debby.
- Hey.

780
00:48:59,292 --> 00:49:01,627
There were 11 thunderstorms
while you were gone.

781
00:49:01,794 --> 00:49:04,755
Eleven. And you were right,
he doesn't like thunderstorms.

782
00:49:04,922 --> 00:49:07,758
Wow. Okay, yeah, 11.
That's a lot of thunderstorms.

783
00:49:07,925 --> 00:49:11,470
Oh, and just so you know,
I am a dog person, but that's not a dog.

784
00:49:11,637 --> 00:49:14,098
That is evil with a dog face
that is humping my leg...

785
00:49:14,265 --> 00:49:16,350
...and peeing on your carpet.

786
00:49:16,517 --> 00:49:19,520
- Marley. Marley.
- Marley, stop that.

787
00:49:25,651 --> 00:49:28,988
Marley, come on, it's just thunder.
No barking.

788
00:49:34,160 --> 00:49:36,245
Marley, come on. It's just thunder.

789
00:49:37,788 --> 00:49:39,624
Marley, come on.

790
00:49:40,917 --> 00:49:42,668
Jenny!

791
00:49:42,835 --> 00:49:44,879
Can you help me out here?

792
00:49:45,046 --> 00:49:48,132
I got 20 minutes to file this column,
and I gotta...

793
00:49:48,299 --> 00:49:49,842
Jenny?

794
00:49:50,718 --> 00:49:53,679
- Ah. The luck of the Irish.
- What?

795
00:51:05,877 --> 00:51:08,421
Oh, God. John. Honey.

796
00:51:08,588 --> 00:51:11,757
John. John, wake up, honey. It's time.

797
00:51:11,924 --> 00:51:16,554
Okay, what do I need? Oh,
these will be comfortable. Okay. Ooh.

798
00:51:16,721 --> 00:51:18,764
You all right? You all right?

799
00:51:18,931 --> 00:51:21,267
Are you okay?
It's okay, I'm not gonna hurt her.

800
00:51:21,434 --> 00:51:23,561
Try not to scream.
I don't want him to kill me.

801
00:51:23,728 --> 00:51:25,813
You remembered
to install the car seat, right?

802
00:51:25,980 --> 00:51:27,773
They won't let us take the baby home...

803
00:51:27,940 --> 00:51:29,775
- I wouldn't forget.
- I know, I'm sorry.

804
00:51:29,942 --> 00:51:32,737
Got that right there?
- I think I got it. What else?

805
00:51:35,323 --> 00:51:37,450
Yeah, come on, Marley,
help me out here.

806
00:51:38,284 --> 00:51:42,788
You can chew through drywall, Marley.
This is nothing for you.

807
00:51:43,581 --> 00:51:45,458
Good, yeah.

808
00:51:47,460 --> 00:51:48,961
No, no, you're gonna stay here.

809
00:51:49,128 --> 00:51:51,672
I'll leave you this bone
to keep you busy now.

810
00:51:51,839 --> 00:51:56,135
Hopefully no thunderstorms.
And I'm off. Let's go.

811
00:52:16,656 --> 00:52:19,116
Who's your daddy? Come here.

812
00:52:29,794 --> 00:52:31,170
Here's the thing.

813
00:52:31,337 --> 00:52:34,173
In about two minutes,
we're gonna bring home the baby...

814
00:52:34,340 --> 00:52:39,262
...and you'd be doing me a really big favor
if you didn't freak out.

815
00:52:40,179 --> 00:52:42,974
And I'm gonna try to do the same.

816
00:52:46,936 --> 00:52:48,855
- Are you ready?
- I'm ready, yes.

817
00:52:49,021 --> 00:52:51,274
- Okay.
Hi, come here.

818
00:52:51,440 --> 00:52:55,027
Hi, baby. Oh, hi. Hi, sweetie. Hi, Marley.

819
00:52:55,194 --> 00:52:59,782
Oh. Come on. Come here. Okay?

820
00:52:59,949 --> 00:53:04,161
- Marley.
- Would be a bummer if you ate the baby.

821
00:53:07,081 --> 00:53:08,541
Shh.

822
00:53:08,708 --> 00:53:12,712
- Just...
- Look, Marley, this is Patrick.

823
00:53:14,255 --> 00:53:19,051
Not to be confused with a chew toy,
although it may look like one.

824
00:53:19,218 --> 00:53:21,637
Say hi. See, honey?
He's not eating the baby.

825
00:53:22,263 --> 00:53:24,223
Very good.

826
00:53:34,567 --> 00:53:36,569
Yeah. No, I have a quote for it
right here.

827
00:53:36,736 --> 00:53:39,906
Well, have Legal call them again
and get a release for it.

828
00:53:40,072 --> 00:53:42,116
They told me it was on the record.

829
00:53:42,283 --> 00:53:45,244
I don't... Patrick, honey,
be careful with those toys.

830
00:53:45,411 --> 00:53:47,872
You know Marley gets...
Carla, I'm not talking to you.

831
00:53:48,039 --> 00:53:52,251
Will you just call them and get a release?
I'll call you back. I'll call you right back.

832
00:53:52,418 --> 00:53:54,086
Ready?

833
00:53:54,253 --> 00:53:55,421
How far do you wanna go?

834
00:54:12,688 --> 00:54:15,608
Those days are over for us, amigo.

835
00:54:15,775 --> 00:54:18,110
We had a good run, though.

836
00:54:38,840 --> 00:54:40,758
Hey, look. There's Daddy.

837
00:54:44,262 --> 00:54:45,304
Come on, Marley.

838
00:54:45,638 --> 00:54:48,266
This is gonna sound crazy,
but what's that thing called...

839
00:54:48,432 --> 00:54:50,393
...when you owe money on a house?

840
00:54:50,560 --> 00:54:52,228
- It starts with an M.
- Mortgage.

841
00:54:52,395 --> 00:54:54,021
Mortgage.

842
00:54:54,730 --> 00:54:57,692
Wow. Is it possible to be this tired?

843
00:54:57,859 --> 00:55:00,486
You know what?
I'm gonna get up with him tonight.

844
00:55:00,653 --> 00:55:03,573
No, you won't. You don't hear him.

845
00:55:03,739 --> 00:55:07,451
- Yeah, you're right.
- Yeah, well, why?

846
00:55:07,618 --> 00:55:09,537
I'm just a blessedly sound sleeper.

847
00:55:09,704 --> 00:55:11,998
I do have to go
into the office tomorrow, though.

848
00:55:12,165 --> 00:55:16,043
- Will you watch him then for me?
- It would be my pleasure.

849
00:55:16,210 --> 00:55:20,631
- How long are we talking about?
- I don't know.

850
00:55:20,798 --> 00:55:25,761
- It's not quite what you expected, huh?
- I don't know what I expected.

851
00:55:25,928 --> 00:55:28,347
I never thought Marley
would seem like the easy one.

852
00:55:28,514 --> 00:55:31,309
I know. I know, but you know what?

853
00:55:31,475 --> 00:55:33,853
We adjusted to him...

854
00:55:34,020 --> 00:55:35,980
...and we'll adjust to the baby.

855
00:55:36,147 --> 00:55:39,692
I'm just trying to remember us
from before.

856
00:55:39,859 --> 00:55:43,112
- You mean those, uh, younger...
- Yeah.

857
00:55:43,279 --> 00:55:45,615
...sexier, better-looking people?

858
00:55:45,781 --> 00:55:46,908
- Yeah.
- I remember them.

859
00:55:47,074 --> 00:55:50,536
- I remember them vaguely.
- I miss them.

860
00:55:50,912 --> 00:55:52,538
They're here.

861
00:55:52,705 --> 00:55:55,500
They're here, they're just really tired.

862
00:56:00,046 --> 00:56:01,380
What, now you're jealous?

863
00:56:05,176 --> 00:56:06,719
Stay here.

864
00:56:08,095 --> 00:56:10,056
- Call the police.
- Okay.

865
00:56:21,025 --> 00:56:24,403
Hey, hey, hey. Are you all right?
What happened?

866
00:56:24,570 --> 00:56:28,491
He told me not to scream
or he'd stab me, but I screamed.

867
00:56:28,908 --> 00:56:31,994
- I screamed, and he stabbed me.
- Sit down, just sit down.

868
00:56:32,161 --> 00:56:33,913
It's okay, it's all right.

869
00:56:34,080 --> 00:56:36,082
- Where's your mother?
- At work.

870
00:56:36,249 --> 00:56:40,419
It's okay, it's not that bad.
Keep your hand placed right here.

871
00:56:40,586 --> 00:56:42,129
Okay.

872
00:56:42,296 --> 00:56:45,591
My wife called the police,
so everything's gonna be okay.

873
00:56:47,593 --> 00:56:50,388
In all the time I've lived here,
I've never gotten your name.

874
00:56:50,555 --> 00:56:54,225
- Lisa.
- Okay, I'm gonna sit right here, Lisa.

875
00:56:54,392 --> 00:56:57,103
You're gonna keep your hands
placed there...

876
00:56:57,270 --> 00:57:00,022
...and we're gonna wait for the police
to get here.

877
00:57:00,189 --> 00:57:03,651
They're gonna take care of this, all right?

878
00:57:03,818 --> 00:57:06,279
Okay? Look at me.

879
00:57:06,445 --> 00:57:08,906
It's all right. It's all right.

880
00:57:09,448 --> 00:57:10,616
Safest neighborhood?

881
00:57:10,783 --> 00:57:13,035
In terms of crime,
I'd say you're looking at Boca.

882
00:57:13,202 --> 00:57:15,872
Boca?
I was afraid you were gonna say that.

883
00:57:16,038 --> 00:57:19,542
- That's the way it is, John.
- Okay, thanks.

884
00:57:21,294 --> 00:57:22,795
Boca. Not so bad.

885
00:57:22,962 --> 00:57:26,340
You got kids playing in the street.
I don't know, what do you guys think?

886
00:57:26,507 --> 00:57:29,677
We might live here one day,
if we can afford it.

887
00:57:29,844 --> 00:57:33,681
There we go. I can get you right here.

888
00:57:35,308 --> 00:57:37,643
Stay. Marley, no.

889
00:57:38,269 --> 00:57:40,354
Marley. Marley.

890
00:57:40,521 --> 00:57:44,108
And don't you love this kitchen?
Look at the state-of-the-art appliances.

891
00:57:44,275 --> 00:57:47,320
And my favorite part, the pool, is...

892
00:57:50,489 --> 00:57:53,367
- Um, why don't we look over here?
- Sorry, can I get a brochure?

893
00:57:53,534 --> 00:57:55,828
- Uh, sure.
- Thank you. Looks nice.

894
00:57:57,955 --> 00:57:59,665
Whose dog is that?

895
00:58:03,169 --> 00:58:04,837
Jenny?

896
00:58:06,464 --> 00:58:08,007
Honey.

897
00:58:08,674 --> 00:58:10,176
Jen?

898
00:58:12,803 --> 00:58:15,389
Hey. You okay?

899
00:58:15,556 --> 00:58:19,018
- Yeah, I'm good. Where have you been?
- I wanna show you something.

900
00:58:19,185 --> 00:58:24,607
It's a house. Now, it's a little pricey,
but I think we can do it.

901
00:58:24,774 --> 00:58:26,692
- Boca?
- I know, I know.

902
00:58:26,859 --> 00:58:30,029
But Frank Bennet on the Metro desk
says it's the safest neighborhood.

903
00:58:30,196 --> 00:58:33,449
- I'm just not sure now is the right time.
- But when is the right time?

904
00:58:33,616 --> 00:58:35,701
After one of us gets stabbed
in the driveway?

905
00:58:35,868 --> 00:58:38,496
John.
- Honey, it's cramped in here.

906
00:58:38,663 --> 00:58:40,873
This was supposed to be
a three-year house.

907
00:58:41,040 --> 00:58:42,208
I know. I know that.

908
00:58:42,375 --> 00:58:44,961
I just don't think we can afford
to buy a new one.

909
00:58:45,127 --> 00:58:47,171
But, honey, we can.
With both our salaries...

910
00:58:47,338 --> 00:58:48,464
Honey, I'm pregnant.

911
00:58:49,549 --> 00:58:51,175
Really?

912
00:58:51,884 --> 00:58:53,219
Are you sure?

913
00:58:55,304 --> 00:58:56,722
Come here.

914
00:59:04,063 --> 00:59:05,857
Pretty sure.

915
00:59:06,566 --> 00:59:07,608
Four for four.

916
00:59:09,360 --> 00:59:10,862
- Hold on.
- That's great.

917
00:59:11,028 --> 00:59:13,155
- Congratulations.
- Uh-huh.

918
00:59:13,322 --> 00:59:15,908
- Come on.
- I mean, to both of us.

919
00:59:16,492 --> 00:59:19,161
Oh, yes. Oh, you're such a good boy.

920
00:59:20,413 --> 00:59:23,583
- Another baby.
- I know.

921
00:59:24,125 --> 00:59:26,085
Honey, I think I have to quit my job.

922
00:59:26,252 --> 00:59:28,462
You don't have to do that.
We can get some help.

923
00:59:28,629 --> 00:59:30,882
No, I don't want any help.
I really don't.

924
00:59:31,048 --> 00:59:33,926
I really... I just don't want...
Will you hand me that pacifier?

925
00:59:34,093 --> 00:59:36,262
I just...
I don't wanna be one of those people...

926
00:59:36,429 --> 00:59:39,265
...that sees their child
for an hour at night.

927
00:59:39,432 --> 00:59:41,642
- I don't.
- I know, but you love your work and...

928
00:59:41,809 --> 00:59:44,687
I do, I love my work, honey,
but this is killing me.

929
00:59:44,854 --> 00:59:47,732
When I'm at the office,
I just wanna be here.

930
00:59:47,899 --> 00:59:51,736
And when I'm here,
I am constantly thinking about work.

931
00:59:51,903 --> 00:59:54,780
And I just know
that I'm doing both jobs halfway.

932
00:59:54,947 --> 00:59:56,741
Well, you're not doing them halfway.

933
00:59:56,908 --> 01:00:02,538
Look, if I have to give up something,
I do not wanna give up this.

934
01:00:02,872 --> 01:00:05,416
Why should I give you a raise?
Give me one good reason.

935
01:00:05,875 --> 01:00:08,961
- Because I'm doing a good job?
- Is that a question?

936
01:00:09,128 --> 01:00:12,465
No, but since I took over the column,
the readership's doubled.

937
01:00:12,632 --> 01:00:14,300
So you are doing a good job.

938
01:00:14,467 --> 01:00:17,470
Yes, if you go by the circulation
and popularity.

939
01:00:17,637 --> 01:00:20,097
Okay. Why not make it permanent?

940
01:00:20,640 --> 01:00:22,475
What do you mean, like forever?

941
01:00:22,642 --> 01:00:25,311
Yeah, that's what "permanent" means.

942
01:00:25,478 --> 01:00:28,981
John, every bozo out there
would like to have their own column.

943
01:00:29,148 --> 01:00:31,108
Everybody in that entire room.

944
01:00:31,275 --> 01:00:34,654
And you've taken the column,
and you've turned it into something fresh.

945
01:00:34,820 --> 01:00:38,449
I know you don't wanna hear it,
but you're a really good columnist.

946
01:00:39,075 --> 01:00:41,410
Why are you hesitating?

947
01:00:41,577 --> 01:00:44,622
I just have this idea about myself,
you know, as a reporter.

948
01:00:44,789 --> 01:00:47,291
Well, sometimes life comes up
with a better idea.

949
01:00:47,458 --> 01:00:48,501
I'll tell you what.

950
01:00:48,668 --> 01:00:52,004
You take on a daily column,
I will double your salary.

951
01:01:35,214 --> 01:01:38,467
Gonna start you off
with some corn flakes.

952
01:01:38,634 --> 01:01:41,095
The most important meal... No, Marley.

953
01:01:41,262 --> 01:01:45,224
Most important meal of the day. There.
I might take a little spoonful.

954
01:01:45,391 --> 01:01:50,188
John, please, just take him for a sec.
I gotta take a shower. I gotta go.

955
01:01:50,354 --> 01:01:51,564
But it happens every time.

956
01:01:51,731 --> 01:01:54,317
Well, you've got to spend more time
with him.

957
01:01:54,734 --> 01:01:56,235
Down.

958
01:01:56,736 --> 01:01:58,196
Marley.

959
01:02:01,616 --> 01:02:03,242
There you go.

960
01:02:03,784 --> 01:02:06,245
- Okay, I'll do it, I'll do it.
- No, no, no, it's fine.

961
01:02:06,412 --> 01:02:10,416
You say to spend more time with him,
and I do, and then you wanna take over.

962
01:02:10,583 --> 01:02:12,710
I don't want you changing him
when you're mad.

963
01:02:12,877 --> 01:02:16,088
- I'm not mad, I'm...
- Thank you. Come on.

964
01:02:16,255 --> 01:02:18,382
Hi, baby. Come on, honey.

965
01:02:18,549 --> 01:02:21,928
Oh, baby. I know, I know.

966
01:02:22,094 --> 01:02:25,765
Oh, watch out. Oh, come on, Conor.
Come on, what?

967
01:02:25,932 --> 01:02:28,142
What's the matter?
What do you need? What is it?

968
01:02:28,309 --> 01:02:31,896
Do you want some food? Food? Milk?

969
01:02:32,063 --> 01:02:34,023
No? Okay.

970
01:02:34,190 --> 01:02:36,776
He's just colicky, Jen.
He'll grow out of it.

971
01:02:36,943 --> 01:02:37,985
Well, here's an idea.

972
01:02:38,152 --> 01:02:41,989
Why don't you stay home, and
I'll go to work while he grows out of it?

973
01:02:42,615 --> 01:02:45,368
Sorry, I'm tired. Just go. Just go.

974
01:02:45,535 --> 01:02:46,869
It's postpartum depression.

975
01:02:47,036 --> 01:02:50,706
They're hormones go on tilt,
and, uh, they get depressed.

976
01:02:50,873 --> 01:02:52,792
I remember
after my fourth kid was born...

977
01:02:52,959 --> 01:02:56,671
...I'd wake up in the middle of the night
sometimes, and my wife would be there...

978
01:02:56,838 --> 01:02:59,966
...staring at me
with a meat cleaver in her hand.

979
01:03:00,132 --> 01:03:02,468
I thought she was gonna kill me.

980
01:03:03,010 --> 01:03:04,971
I still do.

981
01:03:06,097 --> 01:03:07,390
You get her the gift?

982
01:03:07,557 --> 01:03:11,102
- Yeah, and...
- Well, it usually works.

983
01:03:11,269 --> 01:03:13,396
Okay, Janice, make him look pretty.

984
01:03:13,563 --> 01:03:17,066
He's gonna have this picture
next to his byline for the next 20 years.

985
01:03:50,349 --> 01:03:52,310
What are you doing? Get in here.

986
01:03:58,441 --> 01:04:01,819
Patrick, honey, please, stop doing that.
You're gonna make him sick.

987
01:04:01,986 --> 01:04:03,988
- Just eat it, okay?
- Careful, Patrick.

988
01:04:04,155 --> 01:04:07,074
Remember what we did to Marley
when he didn't listen.

989
01:04:07,742 --> 01:04:10,203
Honey, we really have to pick
out a color of fabric...

990
01:04:10,369 --> 01:04:12,371
...for the curtains in the boys' room.

991
01:04:12,538 --> 01:04:16,375
Okay, well, I don't know,
whatever you want.

992
01:04:17,210 --> 01:04:20,421
I'd really like your help deciding.

993
01:04:23,466 --> 01:04:25,885
No, let me get him.

994
01:04:26,052 --> 01:04:27,678
Thank you.

995
01:04:35,144 --> 01:04:37,063
Marley, just...

996
01:04:38,022 --> 01:04:42,068
Marley. Bad dog. Marley. Marley, stop it.

997
01:04:42,235 --> 01:04:46,197
Marley, let go. Let go.
Marley, let go. Marley.

998
01:04:46,364 --> 01:04:49,367
Marley. Marley. Marley, get back here.
Get back here.

999
01:04:49,534 --> 01:04:52,370
Marley. Marley. Bad dog.

1000
01:04:52,537 --> 01:04:54,747
Marley, get back here. Marley.

1001
01:04:54,914 --> 01:04:58,251
See, we were supposed to return these,
and now we have to pay for them.

1002
01:04:58,417 --> 01:05:01,379
- That's okay. Come on, just...
- No, it's not okay. It's not okay.

1003
01:05:01,546 --> 01:05:04,340
I told you not to leave anything edible
where he can get it.

1004
01:05:04,507 --> 01:05:06,926
I know, but you
wouldn't exactly say this is edible.

1005
01:05:07,093 --> 01:05:08,511
John, you know what I mean.

1006
01:05:08,678 --> 01:05:12,431
You said you'd get up early and walk him.
He chews things when he gets restless.

1007
01:05:12,598 --> 01:05:15,393
- I am gonna walk him. I just woke up.
- Know what? Forget it.

1008
01:05:15,560 --> 01:05:17,603
- I'm gonna do it myself.
- You don't have to...

1009
01:05:17,770 --> 01:05:19,105
Yes, I'm doing it myself.

1010
01:05:21,941 --> 01:05:24,443
You don't get it. She's gonna kill you.

1011
01:05:24,610 --> 01:05:27,446
You've got to take it easy.

1012
01:05:27,947 --> 01:05:29,782
We're both hanging by a thread.

1013
01:05:29,949 --> 01:05:33,411
- So who gets the dog if you guys split up?
- We're not splitting up.

1014
01:05:33,578 --> 01:05:35,872
- Out of the realm of possibility?
- Completely.

1015
01:05:36,038 --> 01:05:37,456
There's nothing she can do...

1016
01:05:37,623 --> 01:05:40,793
...no tantrum too big,
no depression too deep...

1017
01:05:40,960 --> 01:05:44,297
...no failure to perform wifely duties,
that would push you over?

1018
01:05:44,463 --> 01:05:48,634
Why do you jump right to splitting up?
Come on, buddy. Mend it, don't end it.

1019
01:05:48,801 --> 01:05:52,096
- So life is better with Jenny than without?
- Yes, what, uh...?

1020
01:05:52,263 --> 01:05:55,266
Are you wearing a wire? Jen, are you...?
She's listening to this.

1021
01:05:55,433 --> 01:05:58,269
Jenny, yes, we had a fight,
but I still love you.

1022
01:05:58,769 --> 01:06:02,815
I mean, come on, buddy. I had
a fight with my wife. Let me just sulk.

1023
01:06:02,982 --> 01:06:05,318
I just wanna know if you're really happy.

1024
01:06:06,485 --> 01:06:07,904
Oh, wait, there she is.

1025
01:06:08,070 --> 01:06:09,822
Where? Who?
- Give me the kid.

1026
01:06:09,989 --> 01:06:13,701
No, no, no, I can't be a party to this.
That's shameless.

1027
01:06:13,868 --> 01:06:15,912
This is gonna be even better
than the puppy.

1028
01:06:16,078 --> 01:06:18,080
No, not my son.

1029
01:06:55,952 --> 01:06:58,704
Marley, no. Please, please, Marley, no.
Please.

1030
01:06:59,288 --> 01:07:00,456
Please.

1031
01:07:17,056 --> 01:07:20,017
Marley! Marley, what are you...?

1032
01:07:22,144 --> 01:07:24,063
Marley, God, look at this.

1033
01:07:24,230 --> 01:07:28,568
Stop it. Why do you do this?
Why do you ruin everything? Go on.

1034
01:07:30,486 --> 01:07:33,865
Oh. Patrick! Are you okay? I'm sorry.

1035
01:07:35,533 --> 01:07:38,744
John, get that dog out of here.
I want that dog out of here right now.

1036
01:07:38,911 --> 01:07:41,497
- I'll take him for a walk.
- No, take him to that farm.

1037
01:07:41,664 --> 01:07:43,875
All right, buddy,
we're going to the farm again.

1038
01:07:44,041 --> 01:07:45,793
Hey, I'm serious. I'm not kidding.

1039
01:07:45,960 --> 01:07:47,962
- I can't take this anymore.
- What did he do?

1040
01:07:48,129 --> 01:07:52,091
Everything. What hasn't he done?
He's just a horrible, horrible animal.

1041
01:07:52,258 --> 01:07:53,718
Well, that's a little unfair.

1042
01:07:53,885 --> 01:07:56,846
No, what's unfair is that Conor
hasn't slept in two weeks...

1043
01:07:57,013 --> 01:07:58,639
...because of that dog's barking...

1044
01:07:58,806 --> 01:08:01,100
...that Patrick gets knocked down
twice a day...

1045
01:08:01,267 --> 01:08:03,102
...that I can't even think straight.

1046
01:08:03,269 --> 01:08:07,190
- And God forbid there's a hint of thunder.
Just calm down for a second.

1047
01:08:07,356 --> 01:08:10,109
I know it's been a rough couple of months
with the new baby.

1048
01:08:10,276 --> 01:08:11,319
I understand that.

1049
01:08:11,485 --> 01:08:14,155
But I was talking with Arnie,
and postpartum depression...

1050
01:08:14,322 --> 01:08:15,781
Don't you dare.

1051
01:08:15,948 --> 01:08:19,452
I am not depressed. I am exhausted.

1052
01:08:19,619 --> 01:08:22,079
I am not angry
because of some condition.

1053
01:08:22,622 --> 01:08:24,957
I can't even go out for an hour
without the kids...

1054
01:08:25,124 --> 01:08:27,793
...because every babysitter
is terrified of Marley.

1055
01:08:27,960 --> 01:08:30,296
I know, but you said
you didn't wanna work anymore.

1056
01:08:30,463 --> 01:08:33,049
- We can get help, but you said...
- I don't need any help!

1057
01:08:33,216 --> 01:08:36,093
- Just get rid of the dog.
- That's not gonna happen, obviously.

1058
01:08:36,260 --> 01:08:38,679
- Please keep your voice down.
- Me keep my voice down?

1059
01:08:38,846 --> 01:08:41,516
Just get rid of the dog.
Everybody gets rid of their dogs.

1060
01:08:41,682 --> 01:08:43,434
- It's just a dog.
- I'm just a husband.

1061
01:08:43,601 --> 01:08:45,811
- Gonna get rid of me?
- I've thought about it.

1062
01:08:45,978 --> 01:08:49,232
Oh, well, that makes two of us.
- What do you have to complain about?

1063
01:08:49,398 --> 01:08:51,984
What do I...? Oh, because
you're such a joy to be around?

1064
01:08:52,151 --> 01:08:53,402
Oh, you're such a jerk.

1065
01:08:53,569 --> 01:08:56,322
Nice to walk in
and feel like you're joining a chain gang.

1066
01:08:56,489 --> 01:08:57,907
Just a jerk.

1067
01:09:01,327 --> 01:09:02,954
Stop it.

1068
01:09:03,120 --> 01:09:04,664
It's your fault.

1069
01:09:04,831 --> 01:09:06,165
You gotta be kidding me.

1070
01:09:07,375 --> 01:09:11,295
Nope. It's just for a couple days
till things cool down at home.

1071
01:09:13,798 --> 01:09:15,341
A couple days will be all right.

1072
01:09:15,508 --> 01:09:17,400
You guys know each other,
so you should be okay.

1073
01:09:17,402 --> 01:09:19,154
You want a beer?

1074
01:09:19,171 --> 01:09:20,923
I'm all right.

1075
01:09:21,465 --> 01:09:22,508
Are you moving?

1076
01:09:23,300 --> 01:09:25,886
- Yeah.
- Where?

1077
01:09:26,262 --> 01:09:27,304
New York.

1078
01:09:28,472 --> 01:09:31,225
The Gray Lady came a-courting.

1079
01:09:32,059 --> 01:09:34,186
The Times offered you a permanent job?

1080
01:09:35,062 --> 01:09:36,981
Gave Arnie my notice last week.

1081
01:09:37,731 --> 01:09:41,694
- You didn't even say anything.
- I know. I'm sorry, I just...

1082
01:09:42,570 --> 01:09:46,073
It all happened so fast,
I'm not even used to the idea yet.

1083
01:09:46,240 --> 01:09:49,493
That's great. The New York Times.

1084
01:09:49,660 --> 01:09:51,954
It's what we always dreamed of.

1085
01:09:56,625 --> 01:09:59,879
Well, congratulations.
I mean, you deserve it.

1086
01:10:01,714 --> 01:10:03,757
- Thanks for looking after Marley.
- Yeah.

1087
01:10:03,924 --> 01:10:05,843
He's eating your briefcase right now.

1088
01:10:06,010 --> 01:10:08,596
Shit.
Marley. Marley, no.

1089
01:10:08,762 --> 01:10:12,474
- Two days, John, I'm serious.
- Sorry.

1090
01:10:16,770 --> 01:10:20,941
- Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you.
- I wasn't, um, sleeping.

1091
01:10:23,569 --> 01:10:24,695
Where's Marley?

1092
01:10:24,862 --> 01:10:27,615
Sebastian's gonna watch him
for a few days.

1093
01:10:27,781 --> 01:10:30,451
Mm-hm. I'd love to see that.

1094
01:10:31,660 --> 01:10:35,706
Just until I can find
a more permanent home.

1095
01:10:37,458 --> 01:10:41,879
This is his permanent home, John.
Marley's not going anywhere.

1096
01:10:42,046 --> 01:10:45,633
Honey, I'm sorry.
I just got overwhelmed.

1097
01:10:46,217 --> 01:10:48,802
No one tells you
how hard this is all gonna be.

1098
01:10:48,969 --> 01:10:50,638
Which part?

1099
01:10:50,804 --> 01:10:53,057
What? All of it.

1100
01:10:53,724 --> 01:10:56,977
Marriage, being a parent.

1101
01:10:57,144 --> 01:11:00,898
It's the hardest job in the world,
and nobody prepares you for that.

1102
01:11:01,398 --> 01:11:03,943
Nobody tells you
how much you have to give up.

1103
01:11:05,236 --> 01:11:08,656
I feel like they do tell you,
but, I don't know, you don't listen...

1104
01:11:08,822 --> 01:11:11,492
...or you think,
"They're just miserable. "

1105
01:11:16,413 --> 01:11:20,125
I've given up so much
of what made me who I am.

1106
01:11:21,335 --> 01:11:26,549
But I can't say that, because
I'm a very bad person if I say that.

1107
01:11:28,300 --> 01:11:32,680
But I feel that, I really do.
I feel it sometimes.

1108
01:11:33,514 --> 01:11:35,182
I just...

1109
01:11:35,349 --> 01:11:39,436
- I just want you to know that.
- I do know that.

1110
01:11:39,603 --> 01:11:44,233
- And you can say it. I say it.
- But I did make a choice.

1111
01:11:44,733 --> 01:11:49,655
I made a choice,
and even if it's harder than I thought...

1112
01:11:50,614 --> 01:11:51,699
...I don't regret it.

1113
01:11:51,866 --> 01:11:53,659
- Are you sure?
- I'm very sure.

1114
01:11:53,826 --> 01:11:57,037
Because it kind of has a
"there's no place like home" feeling to it.

1115
01:11:57,204 --> 01:12:01,500
I think these things are gonna happen,
and we're gonna get through them.

1116
01:12:01,667 --> 01:12:05,796
- And we'll just do it together.
- Together.

1117
01:12:08,465 --> 01:12:12,636
Getting rid of Marley
is not gonna fix anything.

1118
01:12:12,803 --> 01:12:13,846
No.

1119
01:12:14,013 --> 01:12:18,267
And getting rid of you
isn't gonna fix anything either.

1120
01:12:18,434 --> 01:12:19,935
- Can I ask you a favor?
- Yes.

1121
01:12:20,102 --> 01:12:22,646
No more kids for a while?

1122
01:12:23,272 --> 01:12:26,066
Absolutely. Deal.

1123
01:12:30,613 --> 01:12:32,072
Hi.

1124
01:12:32,239 --> 01:12:34,325
Hi, guys.

1125
01:12:34,491 --> 01:12:36,744
All right, say hello to Colleen.

1126
01:12:36,911 --> 01:12:39,413
- Daddy says her name is Whoops.
- Oh, no, I...

1127
01:12:40,039 --> 01:12:41,582
- Patrick said that.
- What?

1128
01:12:41,749 --> 01:12:43,918
I don't know.
Why did you say that?

1129
01:12:44,084 --> 01:12:46,754
I was just kidding around.
It was kind of a secret, guys.

1130
01:12:46,921 --> 01:12:48,923
Over here.

1131
01:12:50,090 --> 01:12:53,594
Wait, wait. Over here.
Oh, yeah!

1132
01:12:53,761 --> 01:12:55,512
- The old pro brings it back.
Whoo!

1133
01:12:55,679 --> 01:12:58,599
He looks for a little separation,
gets an assist from Colleen.

1134
01:12:58,766 --> 01:13:00,267
Yeah!
- Yeah, score!

1135
01:13:00,434 --> 01:13:04,230
- Nice shot, Dad.
- Come on, "Nice shot"? Come on, Conor.

1136
01:13:04,396 --> 01:13:06,774
- Extraordinary.
Yeah. Again.

1137
01:13:08,150 --> 01:13:10,069
No, wait, let me get that. I'll be back.

1138
01:13:10,236 --> 01:13:13,614
All right.
My knees are shot.

1139
01:13:14,990 --> 01:13:16,617
Hello?

1140
01:13:17,117 --> 01:13:19,036
Yes, it is.

1141
01:13:21,330 --> 01:13:23,457
Uh, yeah, yeah.

1142
01:13:25,209 --> 01:13:27,753
Hi, how are you?
Thanks for getting back to me.

1143
01:13:28,837 --> 01:13:30,381
Oh.
- Oh.

1144
01:13:30,548 --> 01:13:32,633
Darn.
Hey, who was that on the phone?

1145
01:13:32,800 --> 01:13:34,593
The Philadelphia Inquirer.

1146
01:13:34,969 --> 01:13:38,389
I sent the editor some clips a while back,
and he wants to meet.

1147
01:13:38,556 --> 01:13:39,974
What's a while back?

1148
01:13:40,641 --> 01:13:42,851
He was down here on vacation
like a month ago...

1149
01:13:43,018 --> 01:13:46,146
...and he read my stuff,
and we kind of had lunch.

1150
01:13:46,313 --> 01:13:47,690
How do you kind of have lunch?

1151
01:13:47,857 --> 01:13:50,734
Well, I didn't think anything
was gonna come of it.

1152
01:13:50,901 --> 01:13:54,780
Okay, but...?
- They offered me a job.

1153
01:13:54,947 --> 01:13:57,491
I mean, I have, you know, an interview.

1154
01:13:57,950 --> 01:13:59,743
As, like, a columnist or...?

1155
01:13:59,910 --> 01:14:02,454
- As a reporter.
As a reporter?

1156
01:14:02,621 --> 01:14:03,664
Well, what did you say?

1157
01:14:03,831 --> 01:14:07,251
I said, "Thank you very much,
but I'm happy here. "

1158
01:14:07,877 --> 01:14:11,130
"Never have I heard someone
piss and moan as much as John Grogan.

1159
01:14:11,505 --> 01:14:13,716
If he doesn't like it here,
he should move. "

1160
01:14:13,883 --> 01:14:15,676
Part of my job is to get a response.

1161
01:14:15,843 --> 01:14:18,178
I'm glad to see a little blood flowing
from people.

1162
01:14:18,345 --> 01:14:19,972
No, there's a recurring theme here.

1163
01:14:20,139 --> 01:14:22,850
The theme is that we got a lot of cranks
in Broward County.

1164
01:14:23,017 --> 01:14:24,268
That's what I'm up against.

1165
01:14:24,435 --> 01:14:27,855
What I'm trying to say, with all
due respect, is that you are one of them.

1166
01:14:28,022 --> 01:14:29,273
Well, I'm a commentator.

1167
01:14:29,440 --> 01:14:32,693
Everyone wants me to act like
everything's great when there are issues.

1168
01:14:32,860 --> 01:14:36,780
There's overcrowding, there's crime,
there's racial tensions.

1169
01:14:36,947 --> 01:14:40,451
Every time you turn around, there's
a new sky rise even uglier than the...

1170
01:14:40,618 --> 01:14:44,205
That goes on all over the world.
It's not Florida, it's you. What's wrong?

1171
01:14:44,371 --> 01:14:46,582
Nothing's wrong.
Everyone wants to think:

1172
01:14:46,749 --> 01:14:49,210
"Oh, he's turning 40.
He's become a curmudgeon. "

1173
01:14:49,376 --> 01:14:52,546
That's not it. Maybe...

1174
01:14:53,047 --> 01:14:56,383
I don't know. I don't know,
maybe I'm sick of my column.

1175
01:14:56,550 --> 01:15:00,221
I don't find the things that I'm saying
that interesting.

1176
01:15:00,387 --> 01:15:03,474
John, John, you're the comic voice
of South Florida.

1177
01:15:03,641 --> 01:15:05,851
You're a national treasure,
for God's sakes.

1178
01:15:06,018 --> 01:15:07,394
Maybe a regional treasure.

1179
01:15:07,561 --> 01:15:09,813
- Well, a municipal treasure for sure.
- Thank you.

1180
01:15:09,980 --> 01:15:12,900
Listen, take a vacation.
Go away for a couple weeks.

1181
01:15:13,067 --> 01:15:15,152
- Take a month off.
- And go where?

1182
01:15:15,319 --> 01:15:18,822
- I don't know. Take...
- I live in a vacation spot.

1183
01:15:19,490 --> 01:15:22,076
Then go someplace
where it's painful and sad.

1184
01:15:33,754 --> 01:15:38,008
Forty is gonna be tough, buddy.
I'm not gonna lie to you.

1185
01:15:40,052 --> 01:15:41,762
But we knew that.

1186
01:15:41,929 --> 01:15:45,140
We knew this was when Father Time
was gonna make his move...

1187
01:15:45,307 --> 01:15:48,519
...try to take us down a dark alley
and just beat the hell out of us.

1188
01:15:49,395 --> 01:15:52,106
You got a little more white
around the temples...

1189
01:15:52,273 --> 01:15:56,652
...but it makes you look
more distinguished, I think.

1190
01:15:56,819 --> 01:15:58,237
We both lost a step.

1191
01:16:00,948 --> 01:16:03,826
Well, how's it feel
to have your best years behind you?

1192
01:16:03,993 --> 01:16:06,453
You do everything you wanted to?

1193
01:16:07,413 --> 01:16:10,457
No, me neither.

1194
01:16:11,959 --> 01:16:16,505
All right. You hot?
You wanna cool off? Let's do it.

1195
01:16:21,135 --> 01:16:22,803
You know what?

1196
01:16:23,387 --> 01:16:25,306
Not today.

1197
01:16:25,973 --> 01:16:27,975
You've been on a leash a little too long.

1198
01:16:29,310 --> 01:16:30,978
Go, go.

1199
01:16:37,443 --> 01:16:39,445
You got a little bit of a second wind.

1200
01:16:50,331 --> 01:16:52,082
Go get it.

1201
01:17:27,117 --> 01:17:29,703
- Hey, get your dog!
- What?

1202
01:17:36,460 --> 01:17:38,546
No, no. Please, God, no.

1203
01:17:39,255 --> 01:17:42,716
No, no, no!

1204
01:17:48,222 --> 01:17:51,350
Come here, come here. It's okay.

1205
01:17:51,892 --> 01:17:55,396
Dude, that was not cool.

1206
01:17:56,188 --> 01:17:58,232
Come on, girl, let's go!

1207
01:18:03,028 --> 01:18:04,488
Great.

1208
01:18:06,907 --> 01:18:09,076
Let's go. Let's go.

1209
01:18:13,455 --> 01:18:18,752
Man, you are the world's worst dog.
You know that, right?

1210
01:18:18,919 --> 01:18:21,422
You were top five going into the day...

1211
01:18:21,589 --> 01:18:24,633
...and with this little stunt,
you moved into number one.

1212
01:18:24,800 --> 01:18:26,510
And I take my hat off to you.

1213
01:18:37,855 --> 01:18:39,899
Surprise!

1214
01:19:03,464 --> 01:19:05,049
Dad, can I blow out...?

1215
01:19:06,467 --> 01:19:08,302
- Happy birthday.
- Yes, you can help me.

1216
01:19:08,469 --> 01:19:09,970
But hold on, hold on. On three.

1217
01:19:10,137 --> 01:19:13,641
- One, two, three.
- One, two, three.

1218
01:19:21,148 --> 01:19:23,609
But don't beg, Marley.

1219
01:19:23,776 --> 01:19:27,488
That's not good.
Because we don't have to.

1220
01:19:29,240 --> 01:19:32,743
Tell me the truth. Were you surprised?

1221
01:19:32,910 --> 01:19:34,828
Completely, yes. Thank you.

1222
01:19:34,995 --> 01:19:37,289
- Really?
- I was. You guys got me.

1223
01:19:37,456 --> 01:19:39,250
We got you.

1224
01:19:40,251 --> 01:19:42,336
Are you ready for your birthday present?

1225
01:19:42,503 --> 01:19:45,923
There's more?
I don't need any other present.

1226
01:19:49,969 --> 01:19:53,097
- Happy birthday.
- What was that?

1227
01:19:53,264 --> 01:19:57,268
That was my blessing
to take that job in Philadelphia.

1228
01:19:58,018 --> 01:20:00,521
That was months ago.
I'm not thinking about that.

1229
01:20:00,688 --> 01:20:04,525
Well, then any other job.
We'll follow you wherever you wanna go.

1230
01:20:04,692 --> 01:20:07,695
I understand, but I'm not gonna do that.
I'm not gonna uproot us.

1231
01:20:07,862 --> 01:20:10,155
We've got our friends,
the kids enjoy school...

1232
01:20:10,322 --> 01:20:11,991
...and I've got my poker game.

1233
01:20:12,157 --> 01:20:15,369
- I couldn't possibly.
- First of all, it's just an interview.

1234
01:20:15,536 --> 01:20:16,871
You don't have the job yet.

1235
01:20:17,037 --> 01:20:20,207
And second of all,
honey, you don't have any friends.

1236
01:20:20,374 --> 01:20:23,502
That's right. I was wondering,
who were all those strangers tonight?

1237
01:20:23,669 --> 01:20:25,004
I hired them.

1238
01:20:25,170 --> 01:20:28,507
What I'm trying to say is that our life
is here, and I'm okay with that.

1239
01:20:28,674 --> 01:20:30,342
Our life is wherever we are.

1240
01:20:30,718 --> 01:20:33,554
- That's it. And you're not happy here.
- That's not true.

1241
01:20:33,721 --> 01:20:36,807
You're not happy doing that column.
You're restless. I can feel it.

1242
01:20:36,974 --> 01:20:38,017
I'm not.

1243
01:20:38,183 --> 01:20:41,061
I feel it every day
that you read Sebastian's articles.

1244
01:20:41,228 --> 01:20:44,231
I feel it every time you sit
an extra five minutes in your car...

1245
01:20:44,398 --> 01:20:45,482
...before you come in.

1246
01:20:45,649 --> 01:20:46,817
- I don't do that.
- You do.

1247
01:20:46,984 --> 01:20:51,030
- I'm checking things in the car, I'm not...
- I just think it's time for a change.

1248
01:20:51,197 --> 01:20:53,240
I'm 40, Jen.

1249
01:20:53,407 --> 01:20:56,702
Maybe at 39, but I'm too... I don't know.

1250
01:20:56,869 --> 01:20:59,079
It feels a little late
to be making big changes.

1251
01:20:59,246 --> 01:21:01,290
No, no, no. Uh-uh-uh.

1252
01:21:01,457 --> 01:21:03,042
What are you doing?

1253
01:21:03,417 --> 01:21:05,878
We're not old, John.

1254
01:21:09,590 --> 01:21:11,258
We can still surprise ourselves.

1255
01:21:16,722 --> 01:21:18,557
See, most girls would do
a swan dive...

1256
01:21:18,724 --> 01:21:21,393
...but you know
that a cannonball is so much sexier.

1257
01:21:24,647 --> 01:21:27,399
So are you ready
for your other birthday present or what?

1258
01:21:27,566 --> 01:21:29,443
Yes.

1259
01:21:30,402 --> 01:21:33,739
This is like an embarrassment of riches,
this birthday.

1260
01:21:33,906 --> 01:21:36,450
They just keep coming.
It's like Hanukkah.

1261
01:21:44,291 --> 01:21:46,460
See? We're not old.

1262
01:21:55,052 --> 01:21:56,929
Grogan.

1263
01:22:06,146 --> 01:22:08,983
- Just wanna wish you good luck up there.
- Thanks. Yeah.

1264
01:22:09,149 --> 01:22:11,819
It'll be good. I'm gonna miss everybody.

1265
01:22:11,986 --> 01:22:14,071
- I'm gonna miss your laugh.
- Yeah.

1266
01:22:14,238 --> 01:22:18,117
There's a good chance that every piece
of advice I gave you was a lot of crap.

1267
01:22:18,284 --> 01:22:21,579
Oh, no, no. I appreciate it just the same.

1268
01:22:21,745 --> 01:22:25,624
Well, at this point, a mushy guy
would tell you he was proud of you...

1269
01:22:25,791 --> 01:22:28,502
...give you a hug,
and send you on your way.

1270
01:22:29,086 --> 01:22:32,840
Well, I'm glad you're not that guy, sir.

1271
01:22:34,133 --> 01:22:35,175
All right.

1272
01:22:35,342 --> 01:22:37,553
Okay. Thanks.

1273
01:22:37,970 --> 01:22:41,473
Grogan, just for the record,
you surprised the hell out of me.

1274
01:22:41,640 --> 01:22:44,184
That's my specialty.

1275
01:23:05,706 --> 01:23:07,541
Are we here yet?
No.

1276
01:23:07,708 --> 01:23:10,211
Now?
We got a couple hours to go.

1277
01:23:10,377 --> 01:23:12,213
Now?
Soak it up.

1278
01:23:12,379 --> 01:23:14,381
Now?
We must be near it.

1279
01:23:14,548 --> 01:23:16,800
Are we getting hot or cold?
Ha, ha, ha.

1280
01:23:16,967 --> 01:23:19,470
Why are we turning in here?
We're living here.

1281
01:23:19,637 --> 01:23:20,971
Whoa.

1282
01:23:21,138 --> 01:23:24,183
I want a moment of silence
just to take this in, okay?

1283
01:23:24,350 --> 01:23:28,521
Before the pandemonium. Look at this.

1284
01:23:28,687 --> 01:23:32,608
- Here we go.
Come on, we're here.

1285
01:23:39,657 --> 01:23:41,200
Marley. Marley, no.

1286
01:23:41,367 --> 01:23:43,744
Marley, Marley, Marley, no, no.
Marley, no.

1287
01:23:44,620 --> 01:23:46,080
And we're home.

1288
01:23:52,753 --> 01:23:56,215
Hey, Andy Rooney. If you're knocking off,
I'll walk with you to the train.

1289
01:23:56,382 --> 01:24:00,052
Okay, I'm ready.
Put an exclamation point here.

1290
01:24:00,219 --> 01:24:02,429
Mark Twain said
not to use exclamation points...

1291
01:24:02,596 --> 01:24:04,723
...because it's like laughing
at your own joke.

1292
01:24:04,890 --> 01:24:07,768
Sometimes you gotta laugh
at your own joke because it's funny.

1293
01:24:07,935 --> 01:24:10,980
- It's here, it's here, it's here!
- Mom, get up, get up, get up.

1294
01:24:11,146 --> 01:24:14,316
Where? Where? Where?
Over here.

1295
01:24:14,483 --> 01:24:18,696
Come on, come on, come on.
It's here, it's here.

1296
01:24:18,863 --> 01:24:21,282
Come on, Dad. Look, Daddy.
Come on, come on, come on.

1297
01:24:21,448 --> 01:24:22,950
Whoa, Daddy.

1298
01:24:39,967 --> 01:24:41,010
Whoa!

1299
01:24:42,344 --> 01:24:44,096
Okay, look at me. Guys, guys, guys.

1300
01:24:45,764 --> 01:24:50,477
Remember, angels can fly,
so you gotta get the wings up high.

1301
01:24:50,644 --> 01:24:53,439
Yeah. Now, that one's coming.
Now you can really see it.

1302
01:24:53,606 --> 01:24:55,191
Guys, lunch is ready.

1303
01:24:55,357 --> 01:24:57,902
Okay. Heading in.
Take that.

1304
01:24:58,068 --> 01:25:00,112
I'll get you.
Let's go. Marley!

1305
01:25:00,279 --> 01:25:03,032
Come on, guys.
- Marley, come on. Marley.

1306
01:25:03,199 --> 01:25:06,368
No, no, you know what, honey?
Let him be. He's happy.

1307
01:25:10,915 --> 01:25:12,458
Thank you.

1308
01:25:32,603 --> 01:25:34,104
What are you doing in here?

1309
01:25:34,522 --> 01:25:37,191
You're going for the bunk bed tonight?

1310
01:25:38,442 --> 01:25:42,363
Pretty good day.
I mean, the snow? Come on.

1311
01:25:42,530 --> 01:25:45,199
All right. Sleep tight.

1312
01:25:52,665 --> 01:25:54,708
Too much color?
Yeah.

1313
01:25:55,376 --> 01:25:59,171
Don't get me wrong, it's a good piece.
But you're reporting now, John.

1314
01:25:59,338 --> 01:26:02,383
I want you to tell the story,
I don't want you to be in the story.

1315
01:26:02,550 --> 01:26:04,760
I'm pretty sure I don't mention myself
in there.

1316
01:26:04,927 --> 01:26:07,596
The point is, I still feel you in there.

1317
01:26:07,763 --> 01:26:10,641
And all I'm saying
is less you and more facts.

1318
01:26:12,434 --> 01:26:13,811
Got it.

1319
01:26:16,355 --> 01:26:18,440
- Door's always open.
- Thanks.

1320
01:26:18,607 --> 01:26:20,067
Hut.

1321
01:26:23,863 --> 01:26:25,406
He's coming, he's coming.

1322
01:26:26,949 --> 01:26:31,078
Here comes the old pro.
He shows up for the fourth quarter.

1323
01:26:31,745 --> 01:26:35,499
Yeah. Oh, yes. He catches it.

1324
01:26:35,666 --> 01:26:37,376
Then he fends off one guy.

1325
01:26:37,543 --> 01:26:40,671
He's running through there.
He's shaking tackles left and right.

1326
01:26:40,838 --> 01:26:44,592
They can't get him,
because he's got too much...

1327
01:26:46,093 --> 01:26:49,555
And Grogan goes down.
Down goes Grogan.

1328
01:26:49,722 --> 01:26:51,599
- You're home early.
That's right.

1329
01:26:51,765 --> 01:26:56,228
I had to come home and teach these kids
how to play football the right way.

1330
01:26:56,729 --> 01:26:58,105
Okay.

1331
01:26:58,272 --> 01:27:00,733
Guys, dinner's in an hour.
Okay.

1332
01:27:00,900 --> 01:27:02,776
And I want you
to finish your homework...

1333
01:27:02,943 --> 01:27:05,070
...and take off those shoes
before you come in.

1334
01:27:05,237 --> 01:27:07,281
Yeah, take off your shoes.

1335
01:27:07,448 --> 01:27:10,784
Ground and pound,
ground and pound, ground and pound.

1336
01:27:12,578 --> 01:27:13,662
Ow.

1337
01:27:14,914 --> 01:27:17,124
My God.

1338
01:27:17,291 --> 01:27:20,794
I come home,
and it's like I got mugged.

1339
01:27:20,961 --> 01:27:22,755
Okay.

1340
01:27:25,341 --> 01:27:26,800
Come on.

1341
01:27:26,967 --> 01:27:28,469
What's wrong with him, Dad?

1342
01:27:29,136 --> 01:27:32,139
Nothing's wrong. He's just tired.
Right, Dad?

1343
01:27:32,306 --> 01:27:35,809
Yeah.
I think the football took it out of him.

1344
01:27:37,144 --> 01:27:38,729
Let's go.

1345
01:27:39,730 --> 01:27:41,565
I don't know, I just don't understand.

1346
01:27:41,732 --> 01:27:44,777
A year ago, you couldn't wait to be done
with your column.

1347
01:27:44,944 --> 01:27:47,154
I know, but now I got this guy...

1348
01:27:47,321 --> 01:27:50,115
...going through every sentence
with a fine-toothed comb...

1349
01:27:50,282 --> 01:27:53,160
...and I gotta admit, I miss the freedom,
where I could just...

1350
01:27:53,327 --> 01:27:54,578
What?

1351
01:27:54,745 --> 01:27:57,581
It's just...
It's exhausting sometimes, John.

1352
01:27:58,499 --> 01:28:01,418
You always wanting something
that you don't have.

1353
01:28:01,585 --> 01:28:03,629
Are you happy?

1354
01:28:04,630 --> 01:28:08,384
- I mean, none of this was part of the plan.
- No.

1355
01:28:08,551 --> 01:28:10,469
No, it wasn't part of the plan.

1356
01:28:11,262 --> 01:28:13,347
But it's so much better.

1357
01:28:14,431 --> 01:28:17,101
You know?
I'm just sort of done making plans.

1358
01:28:17,268 --> 01:28:20,437
Ugh. Marley. Oh, gross.

1359
01:28:20,604 --> 01:28:24,149
- Seems like somebody needs to go out.
- Ugh, whew.

1360
01:28:24,608 --> 01:28:25,734
All right. Marley.

1361
01:28:27,361 --> 01:28:29,196
Come on. Come on, boy.

1362
01:28:31,323 --> 01:28:33,117
Oh, come on.

1363
01:28:33,617 --> 01:28:36,453
Now it's really coming down.

1364
01:28:41,083 --> 01:28:42,751
Marley?

1365
01:28:43,794 --> 01:28:45,462
Marley!

1366
01:28:45,629 --> 01:28:47,715
Where did he go? Marley!

1367
01:28:49,383 --> 01:28:50,426
What's going on?

1368
01:28:50,593 --> 01:28:53,846
I don't know, he's just...
He's not coming back.

1369
01:28:54,013 --> 01:28:57,808
- Marley!
- Well, he couldn't have gone far.

1370
01:28:57,975 --> 01:29:01,854
- Marley!
- I'll come with you. Hold on.

1371
01:29:03,105 --> 01:29:07,067
Marley!
I don't know where he could've gone.

1372
01:29:07,234 --> 01:29:09,820
Maybe he went next door again
in the barn.

1373
01:29:09,987 --> 01:29:13,741
- Well, we can check in the woodshed.
Okay.

1374
01:29:14,408 --> 01:29:16,452
Marley!

1375
01:29:21,749 --> 01:29:23,459
Marley?

1376
01:29:24,585 --> 01:29:26,337
Marley.

1377
01:29:26,503 --> 01:29:28,422
Oh. Where the...?

1378
01:29:30,090 --> 01:29:33,177
- Do you see anything?
- No, nothing.

1379
01:29:38,432 --> 01:29:41,393
- I gotta go talk to them.
- Okay.

1380
01:29:42,436 --> 01:29:45,773
Oh, wow, it's pouring out there.

1381
01:29:45,940 --> 01:29:47,191
Did you find him?

1382
01:29:47,358 --> 01:29:51,654
You know what? He's out exploring.

1383
01:29:51,820 --> 01:29:53,614
You know how he loves the woods.

1384
01:29:56,784 --> 01:30:00,037
Bobby says dogs,
when they're gonna die...

1385
01:30:00,204 --> 01:30:01,914
...they go away to do it.

1386
01:30:02,081 --> 01:30:03,457
That's what his beagle did.

1387
01:30:03,749 --> 01:30:04,875
Mm.

1388
01:30:05,042 --> 01:30:07,294
Well, you know what,
that's true for beagles...

1389
01:30:07,461 --> 01:30:10,548
...but, uh, not Labs like Marley.

1390
01:30:10,714 --> 01:30:14,134
He's just out causing trouble.
Don't worry.

1391
01:30:14,301 --> 01:30:16,804
Okay, now,
you finished with your homework?

1392
01:30:16,971 --> 01:30:18,138
- Yep.
- Nope.

1393
01:30:18,305 --> 01:30:23,018
Nope? Well, let's make that
a "yep. " Come on, now.

1394
01:30:28,274 --> 01:30:30,359
Marley!

1395
01:30:30,526 --> 01:30:32,486
Marley!

1396
01:30:36,532 --> 01:30:38,242
Marley!

1397
01:30:42,830 --> 01:30:44,290
Marley.

1398
01:30:45,666 --> 01:30:47,251
Marley.

1399
01:30:47,835 --> 01:30:49,920
Marley, are you okay?

1400
01:30:53,799 --> 01:30:55,593
Just stay there.

1401
01:30:57,720 --> 01:31:01,807
Why did his stomach twist?
We don't exactly know why this happens.

1402
01:31:01,974 --> 01:31:04,602
Most likely,
he ate or drank something quickly...

1403
01:31:04,768 --> 01:31:06,353
...and his stomach just flipped.

1404
01:31:06,520 --> 01:31:09,690
I did manage to get a tube down there
to relieve some of the gas.

1405
01:31:09,857 --> 01:31:13,277
- I think I untwisted it.
- He seems okay.

1406
01:31:14,528 --> 01:31:16,238
For now he's good.

1407
01:31:16,405 --> 01:31:19,950
The problem is that once this happens,
it almost always happens again.

1408
01:31:20,117 --> 01:31:23,370
And if it does, I don't know
what I'm gonna be able to do for him.

1409
01:31:23,537 --> 01:31:25,039
He's an older dog.

1410
01:31:25,206 --> 01:31:28,000
I honestly don't think
he would survive the surgery.

1411
01:31:28,167 --> 01:31:30,961
Well, we have to make sure
that it doesn't happen again.

1412
01:31:31,128 --> 01:31:32,880
Most likely, it is gonna happen again.

1413
01:31:33,047 --> 01:31:35,716
Well, you also talked about
that maybe he ate too fast...

1414
01:31:35,883 --> 01:31:37,885
...or drank, you know, too quickly...

1415
01:31:38,052 --> 01:31:40,804
...and so maybe
it doesn't have to happen again.

1416
01:31:40,971 --> 01:31:42,223
We'll monitor that.

1417
01:31:43,224 --> 01:31:45,518
I'm just saying
you may wanna prepare yourself...

1418
01:31:45,684 --> 01:31:48,187
...that he may not make it
through the night.

1419
01:31:50,022 --> 01:31:53,734
Maybe 10 percent of dogs
survive this kind of a thing.

1420
01:31:53,901 --> 01:31:57,196
What is that number based on?

1421
01:31:58,113 --> 01:31:59,156
What is it based on?

1422
01:31:59,323 --> 01:32:03,577
Yeah, the reason why I ask is, I bet
that number is based on regular dogs.

1423
01:32:03,744 --> 01:32:04,787
Regular dogs?

1424
01:32:04,954 --> 01:32:07,706
Yeah, and this guy here
is not like other dogs.

1425
01:32:07,873 --> 01:32:09,625
I know people say that all the time...

1426
01:32:09,792 --> 01:32:12,753
...but to be honest,
I'm not sure he really is a dog.

1427
01:32:12,920 --> 01:32:16,006
He once ate an answering machine,
just polished it off.

1428
01:32:16,173 --> 01:32:18,592
He didn't chew it,
he ate it and then digested it...

1429
01:32:18,759 --> 01:32:20,553
...and then had the phone for dessert.

1430
01:32:20,719 --> 01:32:24,723
Another time, my son had colic,
and this guy sat up all night, didn't move.

1431
01:32:24,890 --> 01:32:28,227
Just stayed right there for nine hours,
just keeping an eye on Conor.

1432
01:32:28,394 --> 01:32:32,857
So I think maybe that the, you know,
the number applies to regular dogs...

1433
01:32:33,023 --> 01:32:34,066
...but not to him.

1434
01:32:34,233 --> 01:32:36,777
Well, you've got a fighter here.

1435
01:32:36,944 --> 01:32:38,362
Let's hope for the best.

1436
01:32:39,238 --> 01:32:43,158
Oh, I know he's gonna be okay.
I'll see you in the morning.

1437
01:33:03,846 --> 01:33:06,640
Oh, hi.
- Hey.

1438
01:33:06,807 --> 01:33:11,854
They're gonna keep him overnight,
but he seemed better when I left.

1439
01:33:12,021 --> 01:33:15,649
And the vet really seemed on top of it.

1440
01:33:17,651 --> 01:33:19,820
- Are you okay?
- Yeah, I'm good.

1441
01:33:19,987 --> 01:33:24,158
- What are you reading?
- I'm reading your old columns.

1442
01:33:26,785 --> 01:33:29,163
Marley's in so many of them.

1443
01:33:29,330 --> 01:33:31,332
You still look at those?

1444
01:33:31,498 --> 01:33:34,084
Yeah, I do sometimes.

1445
01:33:35,669 --> 01:33:38,339
Even on the crappiest days...

1446
01:33:38,714 --> 01:33:43,677
...when the kids are driving me nuts,
the laundry's not done...

1447
01:33:43,844 --> 01:33:46,513
...and a hundred other things
are wrong...

1448
01:33:46,680 --> 01:33:49,475
...I always know that I have this.

1449
01:33:51,101 --> 01:33:53,437
It's five minutes of you.

1450
01:33:54,563 --> 01:33:56,815
Sometimes they're sad...

1451
01:33:56,982 --> 01:34:00,694
...and sometimes they're really funny,
silly or whatever...

1452
01:34:00,861 --> 01:34:03,989
...but they're all you.

1453
01:34:05,616 --> 01:34:08,118
And for those five minutes...

1454
01:34:08,285 --> 01:34:10,454
...you make me feel better.

1455
01:34:24,385 --> 01:34:27,555
You should read them.
They're pretty great.

1456
01:34:29,223 --> 01:34:31,392
Might even make a nice book.

1457
01:34:31,559 --> 01:34:34,395
- A book?
- Something.

1458
01:34:50,369 --> 01:34:51,829
Hello?

1459
01:34:54,248 --> 01:34:55,708
All right.

1460
01:34:55,875 --> 01:34:57,501
Thank you.

1461
01:34:59,503 --> 01:35:00,921
He's coming home.

1462
01:35:11,932 --> 01:35:13,434
Is he there?

1463
01:35:13,601 --> 01:35:17,062
Of course he's there.
He's always there.

1464
01:35:17,229 --> 01:35:19,481
How does he know when we're coming?

1465
01:35:19,982 --> 01:35:21,859
I don't know. He just knows.

1466
01:35:22,443 --> 01:35:23,944
Dogs know stuff like that.

1467
01:35:24,111 --> 01:35:26,947
- All dogs?
- All good dogs.

1468
01:35:27,114 --> 01:35:30,701
- Look, there he is. There he is, Marley.
- Yeah.

1469
01:35:35,456 --> 01:35:37,708
Hi, Marley.

1470
01:35:37,875 --> 01:35:39,543
- Marley.
- How you doing, Marley?

1471
01:35:39,710 --> 01:35:42,671
- I missed you at school.
- Hey, I'll race you to the house.

1472
01:35:42,838 --> 01:35:44,715
- Okay.
- Go.

1473
01:35:51,805 --> 01:35:54,558
Eagles?
The Eagles are going all the way.

1474
01:35:54,725 --> 01:35:56,227
- I don't know.
- I guarantee you.

1475
01:35:56,393 --> 01:35:58,103
- What are you, a Dolphins fan?
- No.

1476
01:35:58,270 --> 01:36:00,773
- John Grogan.
- Hey.

1477
01:36:00,940 --> 01:36:02,525
- I'll see you tomorrow.
All right.

1478
01:36:02,691 --> 01:36:05,986
I said to myself, "That sorry
son of a bitch looks like John Grogan. "

1479
01:36:06,987 --> 01:36:08,906
What are you doing here?
- A story.

1480
01:36:09,073 --> 01:36:11,325
DEA's showing off the new field office.
I'm cov...

1481
01:36:11,492 --> 01:36:14,161
You know what? Doesn't matter.
Man, it is good to see you.

1482
01:36:14,328 --> 01:36:16,830
- It's good to see you.
Yeah.

1483
01:36:16,997 --> 01:36:19,959
- You living in the city somewhere?
- I live just outside of town.

1484
01:36:20,125 --> 01:36:21,335
More space for the kids.

1485
01:36:21,502 --> 01:36:24,004
- Oh, what do you got, like five now?
- Three. Here.

1486
01:36:24,171 --> 01:36:27,132
I'll show you a little snapshot
of the Grogan brood.

1487
01:36:28,551 --> 01:36:33,013
- Ha. Wow, Jen's holding up.
- Yeah, thanks. I think.

1488
01:36:33,180 --> 01:36:36,058
I see you finally got a little girl, huh?

1489
01:36:36,225 --> 01:36:40,312
- Colleen. She arrived after you left.
- What's with the ladybug getup?

1490
01:36:40,479 --> 01:36:42,898
That was for her school play
in preschool...

1491
01:36:43,065 --> 01:36:46,569
...and then we couldn't get her out
of her costume for a month afterwards.

1492
01:36:46,735 --> 01:36:49,655
And the reason why Marley
looks like he's biting her head...

1493
01:36:49,822 --> 01:36:52,366
...is because of the antennas on...
He went ballistic.

1494
01:36:52,533 --> 01:36:55,619
- Things don't change.
- That's right.

1495
01:36:58,539 --> 01:37:00,875
I wish I didn't have this interview.

1496
01:37:01,041 --> 01:37:04,086
That's okay, I gotta get home. I got...
Conor's got a soccer game.

1497
01:37:04,253 --> 01:37:06,839
All right, well, one of these days
we've gotta catch up.

1498
01:37:07,006 --> 01:37:09,842
Yeah, let's do that.
We'll catch up one of these days.

1499
01:37:10,009 --> 01:37:13,721
- Well, it was, uh, good to see you.
- Come here. Good to see you.

1500
01:37:13,888 --> 01:37:16,557
- Give Jenny my best, okay?
- All right. I will. Okay.

1501
01:37:16,724 --> 01:37:18,058
- Here.
- Oh, yeah.

1502
01:37:18,225 --> 01:37:22,229
Here. That's a great picture, John.

1503
01:37:22,396 --> 01:37:23,647
You did okay.

1504
01:37:24,607 --> 01:37:27,526
Thanks. You did okay too.

1505
01:37:27,693 --> 01:37:29,570
- I'll see you.
- I'll see you.

1506
01:37:30,029 --> 01:37:32,031
I think you'll like the next one better.

1507
01:37:32,198 --> 01:37:33,657
Good.

1508
01:37:34,575 --> 01:37:37,828
Don't do it to yourself. We're in Philly.
Let's get a cheese steak. Hi.

1509
01:37:37,995 --> 01:37:39,079
Hi.
Sebastian.

1510
01:37:39,246 --> 01:37:40,414
Hello.
Nice to meet you.

1511
01:37:40,581 --> 01:37:42,416
Nice to meet you.

1512
01:37:45,669 --> 01:37:47,588
Hello?

1513
01:37:52,760 --> 01:37:54,762
Is anybody home?

1514
01:37:59,934 --> 01:38:03,229
Marley, hey. Marley, Marley, Marley.

1515
01:38:03,395 --> 01:38:06,565
Hey, hey. Marley. Marley.

1516
01:38:07,149 --> 01:38:11,278
Marley. You didn't hear me, did you?

1517
01:38:11,445 --> 01:38:15,157
I just caught you
in a senior moment there, Marley.

1518
01:38:15,324 --> 01:38:19,286
All right, let's go for a walk.
Come on, let's go.

1519
01:38:32,466 --> 01:38:36,428
Come on. Come on.
You're almost to the top.

1520
01:38:36,595 --> 01:38:38,889
You know what? Come here.

1521
01:38:39,056 --> 01:38:41,392
This is a good spot right here.

1522
01:38:50,359 --> 01:38:54,154
I know you're a strong boy,
but you're gonna let me know, all right?

1523
01:38:54,905 --> 01:38:56,407
You know, when it's time.

1524
01:38:57,825 --> 01:39:00,911
I don't wanna make that decision
on my own.

1525
01:39:02,496 --> 01:39:04,331
You let me know when you're ready,
okay?

1526
01:39:10,880 --> 01:39:11,922
All right.

1527
01:39:21,390 --> 01:39:22,683
Marley?

1528
01:39:24,226 --> 01:39:26,103
There he is.

1529
01:39:26,896 --> 01:39:28,772
Marley.

1530
01:39:29,815 --> 01:39:32,735
Hi. Honey,
what are you doing down here?

1531
01:39:32,902 --> 01:39:36,947
It's time to head upstairs.
You don't sleep down here.

1532
01:39:37,114 --> 01:39:39,033
Come on.

1533
01:39:39,533 --> 01:39:41,118
Can you make it upstairs?

1534
01:39:43,537 --> 01:39:46,707
I think he's pretty comfortable
down here.

1535
01:39:47,666 --> 01:39:51,212
- I'll get him a blanket.
- You all right?

1536
01:39:56,383 --> 01:39:59,303
I'm gonna lay down here for a second.

1537
01:39:59,970 --> 01:40:02,348
Take a load off.

1538
01:40:04,391 --> 01:40:08,979
Yeah. It's actually nice down here.

1539
01:40:09,146 --> 01:40:11,190
This might be better.

1540
01:40:14,735 --> 01:40:16,654
Well, it would be twice a week,
600 words.

1541
01:40:16,820 --> 01:40:17,905
And what's the subject?

1542
01:40:18,072 --> 01:40:21,116
You know, everyday stuff.
The stuff we all go through, but funnier.

1543
01:40:21,283 --> 01:40:23,911
I don't get it.
I thought you came here to be a reporter.

1544
01:40:24,078 --> 01:40:26,205
I know, I did,
but we both know that isn't me.

1545
01:40:26,372 --> 01:40:28,415
I'm a columnist, a good one,
and I think...

1546
01:40:28,582 --> 01:40:31,418
Excuse me, John?
Your wife's on the phone. It's important.

1547
01:40:31,585 --> 01:40:33,087
Okay, I'll be right there.

1548
01:40:33,254 --> 01:40:36,674
Think about it? Possible?

1549
01:40:37,424 --> 01:40:38,509
- Thanks.
You're welcome.

1550
01:40:38,676 --> 01:40:41,595
- Hello?
- I can't get him to come back inside.

1551
01:40:42,096 --> 01:40:46,433
He's just laying out there in the cold,
and he won't move.

1552
01:41:00,030 --> 01:41:01,532
- Hey.
Hi.

1553
01:41:02,032 --> 01:41:03,784
Patrick came home,
and we got him here.

1554
01:41:03,951 --> 01:41:09,123
Dr. Platt said that if he's comfortable,
leave him for a while and see.

1555
01:41:09,832 --> 01:41:12,543
But he's just not getting better.

1556
01:41:15,629 --> 01:41:17,923
All right. I'm gonna take him in.

1557
01:41:19,550 --> 01:41:22,636
- Is he sick again?
- Yeah, he is, honey.

1558
01:41:22,803 --> 01:41:24,597
He doesn't feel too good.

1559
01:41:24,763 --> 01:41:28,475
But I'm gonna take him to the doctor.
They're gonna try to make him feel better.

1560
01:41:28,642 --> 01:41:31,312
It's all right, Marley.
You're gonna be okay.

1561
01:41:35,941 --> 01:41:40,821
You could take Lamby,
but don't chew her other ear off.

1562
01:41:40,988 --> 01:41:43,449
That's sweet, honey.

1563
01:41:43,616 --> 01:41:45,534
Here, I'll take it.

1564
01:41:49,788 --> 01:41:50,831
Bye.

1565
01:42:34,708 --> 01:42:36,168
Okay.

1566
01:42:59,859 --> 01:43:02,403
I've tried everything I did last time
that worked...

1567
01:43:02,570 --> 01:43:04,905
...but I'm not having any luck.

1568
01:43:05,072 --> 01:43:09,118
I'm not able to get the tube down there.
The stomach is still twisted.

1569
01:43:09,285 --> 01:43:13,497
- There's still surgery, but...
- He's not strong enough.

1570
01:43:23,090 --> 01:43:25,926
- I like this one the best.
Which one?

1571
01:43:26,427 --> 01:43:28,304
Oh, the mangoes. Yeah.

1572
01:43:31,056 --> 01:43:33,684
- Hello?
Hey, it's me.

1573
01:43:35,394 --> 01:43:37,104
So it's his stomach again.

1574
01:43:37,271 --> 01:43:40,649
And they could do surgery, but...

1575
01:43:40,816 --> 01:43:42,610
I know.

1576
01:43:44,862 --> 01:43:46,530
Do you want me to come down there?

1577
01:43:47,031 --> 01:43:51,785
No, I think it's a good idea to stay with
the kids and, you know, be with them.

1578
01:43:51,952 --> 01:43:53,787
And I'm just gonna...

1579
01:44:03,797 --> 01:44:05,424
I love you, John.

1580
01:44:06,842 --> 01:44:08,636
I love you.

1581
01:44:13,807 --> 01:44:15,184
Hi.

1582
01:44:15,351 --> 01:44:17,019
- I'm gonna give you some time.
- Okay.

1583
01:44:17,186 --> 01:44:20,523
- I'll be right outside if you need me.
- All right. Thanks.

1584
01:44:22,816 --> 01:44:25,361
Look what I got for you.

1585
01:44:25,903 --> 01:44:27,154
Remember this?

1586
01:44:28,697 --> 01:44:32,701
Look what Colleen sent you.
You remember that?

1587
01:44:32,868 --> 01:44:36,747
You remember chewing up that ear? No.

1588
01:44:36,914 --> 01:44:40,334
It's tough to remember all the things
you've chewed up, isn't it?

1589
01:44:40,834 --> 01:44:43,170
It all starts to kind of run together.

1590
01:45:17,454 --> 01:45:21,041
It's okay.
You don't have to do anything.

1591
01:45:22,126 --> 01:45:25,212
You don't have your usual energy.

1592
01:45:25,796 --> 01:45:29,425
You remember how we were
always saying what a pain you are?

1593
01:45:29,592 --> 01:45:32,511
That you're the world's worst dog?

1594
01:45:34,430 --> 01:45:35,890
Don't believe it.

1595
01:45:36,599 --> 01:45:38,642
Don't believe it, even for a minute...

1596
01:45:38,809 --> 01:45:42,146
...because you know
we couldn't find a better dog.

1597
01:45:44,732 --> 01:45:47,902
You know,
what made you such a great dog...

1598
01:45:48,068 --> 01:45:51,822
...is that you loved us every day,
no matter what.

1599
01:45:51,989 --> 01:45:54,033
That's an amazing thing.

1600
01:45:54,533 --> 01:45:57,161
You know how much we love you?

1601
01:45:57,328 --> 01:45:59,747
We love you so much.

1602
01:46:03,459 --> 01:46:06,003
We love you more than anything.

1603
01:46:07,421 --> 01:46:12,593
I don't know exactly where we go
from here...

1604
01:46:13,135 --> 01:46:16,388
...but I want you to remember
you're a great dog, Marley.

1605
01:46:16,805 --> 01:46:19,558
You're a great dog.

1606
01:46:31,445 --> 01:46:33,697
He won't feel this. He'll just slip away.

1607
01:46:34,448 --> 01:46:35,950
You ready?

1608
01:46:38,285 --> 01:46:40,454
- Yeah, we're ready.
- Okay.

1609
01:48:44,286 --> 01:48:48,207
Okay. Get down.

1610
01:48:49,083 --> 01:48:50,543
Ah.

1611
01:48:52,920 --> 01:48:56,590
- He's wrapped in his blanket.
Yeah, so he can stay warm.

1612
01:48:57,591 --> 01:48:59,718
Do you guys
wanna read what you wrote?

1613
01:49:01,345 --> 01:49:06,308
Mine's a picture of me and Marley,
grasshoppers and ice cream.

1614
01:49:06,475 --> 01:49:08,394
Mommy wrote what I said.

1615
01:49:08,561 --> 01:49:13,858
"Dear Marley,
I will never forget you forever. Colleen. "

1616
01:49:14,275 --> 01:49:16,694
And these are kisses.

1617
01:49:16,861 --> 01:49:19,154
- That's beautiful.
Thank you.

1618
01:49:19,321 --> 01:49:24,285
You wanna put it in? He'll like that.
Set it down.

1619
01:49:26,662 --> 01:49:30,165
Good. That's a great picture.

1620
01:49:30,332 --> 01:49:31,959
Conor, do you wanna...?

1621
01:49:35,462 --> 01:49:38,215
"Dear Marley, I loved you all my life.

1622
01:49:38,382 --> 01:49:41,594
I hope you like heaven,
and that there's lots to chew on.

1623
01:49:41,760 --> 01:49:45,139
Your brother, Conor Richard Grogan. "

1624
01:49:48,684 --> 01:49:50,811
That's a good letter.

1625
01:49:51,604 --> 01:49:55,316
Patrick, do you wanna say something?

1626
01:49:56,984 --> 01:49:58,944
He knows.

1627
01:50:02,531 --> 01:50:04,825
I'd like to give him something.

1628
01:50:11,040 --> 01:50:13,000
This necklace.

1629
01:50:14,668 --> 01:50:17,004
It's been on quite a journey.

1630
01:50:23,844 --> 01:50:26,180
Your dad gave it to me...

1631
01:50:27,473 --> 01:50:30,726
...to celebrate the beginning
of our family.

1632
01:50:30,893 --> 01:50:32,645
But, you know...

1633
01:50:33,896 --> 01:50:36,690
...our family had really already begun.

1634
01:50:44,031 --> 01:50:45,533
Bye, Clearance Puppy.

1635
01:51:12,893 --> 01:51:15,062
A dog has no use for fancy cars...

1636
01:51:15,229 --> 01:51:18,107
...or big homes or designer clothes.

1637
01:51:18,274 --> 01:51:21,735
A waterlogged stick will do just fine.

1638
01:51:21,902 --> 01:51:24,405
A dog doesn't care
if you're rich or poor...

1639
01:51:24,572 --> 01:51:28,075
...clever or dull, smart or dumb.

1640
01:51:28,409 --> 01:51:31,620
Give him your heart,
and he'll give you his.

1641
01:51:38,377 --> 01:51:40,254
How many people
can you say that about?

1642
01:51:40,421 --> 01:51:45,259
How many people can make you feel rare
and pure and special?

1643
01:51:50,723 --> 01:51:55,811
How many people
can make you feel extraordinary?